Zoom Fatigue…

Are you Zoomed-out?

It has been an extremely heavy week with virtual facilitation sessions galore for me. Zoom fatigue is now a real thing! Don’t believe me? Just google it and see. It certainly struck home this week, for sure.

One thing I have noticed as a virtual facilitator is that every session demands your FULL, undivided attention for 2, sometimes even 3 hours straight. And not only once, but perhaps 2 or 3 times a day. As I have come to recognise and experience this week, I am mentally and physically exhausted. Sleep has come easy.

My key personal learning takeaways this week….

Build in some downtime for a break, a walk, to stretch your legs, get some fresh air and constantly rehydrating with fresh water has become absolutely essential.

I am finding that downtime, some kind of digital detox away from computers, phones, tablets is now a critical part of my regular daily routine – escaping the noise of the Zoom world is now an everyday imperative.

What are your top tips to combat Zoom fatigue!?

Each of us is a somebody!

Nobody is a nobody.
Through my life and career, oftentimes I’ve heard phrases like “what does it really matter, I’m nobody,” or “I’m just one of the thousands, I’m nobody really”. Perhaps in the past you may have felt or are feeling now that you are a nobody.
“We do ourselves a great injustice when we allow ourselves, through tragedy, misfortune, challenge, discouragement, or whatever the earthly situation, to so identify ourselves. No matter how or where we find ourselves, we cannot with any justification label ourselves “nobody.”” – said Marvin J. Ashton.
Frequently life, work and family challenges can get us down and cause us to question who we really are. We doubt ourselves, we doubt our self worth and confidence may fail us. I have been in many coaching conversations where that has been the case.
But,… no BUT.., please, please be assured – each of us is a somebody!!!
All of us are individually endowed with great gifts, unique capabilities, special talents all waiting to be discovered, developed and finely tuned.
Each of us is needed. Each of us is unique. No one, absolutely no one can take your place. You are where you are supposed to be.
My simple invitation today is to invite you to be somebody, nobody thought you could be.

Shortcomings – do you have any?

Shortcomings – do you have any?
“A fault or failure to meet a certain standard, typically in a person’s character, a plan, or a system.”
I haven’t met anyone who is perfect yet, have you?
We all have our limitations, one of life’s greatest challenges is accepting those limits.  Frequently we may not want to appear weak, sometimes, personal pride or even a stubborn heart can get in the way.
No matter what your own weaknesses are, there is a way to change your shortcomings and turn them into strengths.
As you find the courage to wake up to your weaknesses, you have to be willing to admit to yourself that you are not infallible, that you have faults, failings and limitations and humbly accept that you are not perfect. In turn, this will lay a foundation for progression.
In many coaching conversations, I have found that when someone shares with me they have a shortcoming, a weakness or a flaw, then that first step of recognition is a giant surge forward, a massive leap of admission and progress is made.
Overcoming shortcomings is possible.
As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “That which we persist in doing becomes easier to do, not that the nature of the thing has changed but that our power to do has increased.”
It takes time, humility and practice. So, how about you?

Outgrown something?

What are the tell tale signs, when you know you have outgrown something?

Bored, unhappy, in the doldrums, not learning anything, its not fun anymore, it just doesn’t feel right, you’re coasting, you’re faultfinding, frustrations are rising, constantly checking for alternatives, there is no stretch anymore, you feel way too comfortable, there is little satisfaction, time just seems to drag, you’re not engaged…Inside you just know its time to move on and change.

All of the above? Some of the above?

Sounds or feels familiar? The signs are clear?

As a coach, I have listened to this tale on numerous occasions. In fact, I have lost count how many times.

So – what now?

Firstly, give it some real thought, ponder, reflect and revisit your goals – what do you want from life?

Secondly, speak to someone you trust. A partner, your boss, a colleague, a friend, perhaps even a coach. Share your thoughts, keep an open mind and explore opportunities together.

Outgrowing things happen. Listen to your intuition – you’ll know!

Finding Happiness!

It is easy to compare what we have, our jobs, lifestyles, talents and abilities to those of others.

We live in a world filled with constant comparison.

The result?

Frequently in coaching or counselling sessions, I have discovered that this can lead to feelings of discouragement or even depression as individuals match their worst with others best.

I find it even more prevalent in Generation Z. Their screen time tends to be much greater than others, scrolling endlessly, comparing themselves to carefully curated idealised images of their friends, peers and celebrities they follow. There has a lot been said of social comparsion theory of late, it certainly is interesting to review. It was first put forth in 1954 by psychologist Leon Festinger, who hypothesized that we make comparisons as a way of evaluating ourselves.

Over the years, I have learned a lot about the #1 Rule of Happiness…. 𝑫𝒐𝒏’𝒕 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇 𝒕𝒐 𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒔.

Instead, why not appreciate all you were born with!

Compare you with you and focus on developing the inherent gifts, skills and traits that you are lucky enough to have. No one else can equally provide what you have to offer the world and to those around you.

Remember – you are unique!

Do you follow up?

Do you follow up?

No matter how successful a coaching session seems to have gone, unless you follow up, opportunities for growth can be squandered and lost.

My experience – the task of following up never ends!

If I am coaching someone and through the session they agree to a specific action, I know the value of following through. Without following up, it feels like buying a ticket for the cinema and then deciding not to go! Without the completed follow up action, the commitment to change is frequently lost.

And have you noticed, there is always a follow up question too?!

Commitment to action always improves when you follow up!

Work

“There is no substitute for hard work” – so said Thomas Edison.

It was in my childhood that I started to learn the value of work. Throughout much of my school years, I was up early to deliver the morning papers. No matter the weather, I was up and out on my round by 6 am.  An early rise has been the pattern of my entire life.

Even before my early departure, I remember, mum or dad being up to clean out the coal fire, remove all the ash and set it for the day ahead.

There is a certain charm in a real coal fire, but there is also a lot of hard work to enjoy those benefits.

“Work is honourable. It is good therapy for most problems. It is the antidote for worry. Work is the equaliser for deficiency of native endowment. Work makes it possible for the average to approach genius. What we may lack in aptitude, we can make up for in performance” – J. Richard Clarke.

No matter what we do, or who we work for, we should give of our best – always.

By finding something that you really love to do, working will then not be a chore or a burden, it will be a joy.

I’ve seen work without success, but never success without work.

Keep stoking the flames of your own coal fires of life, a strong work ethic, will always keep the fire burning.

Loud voices

As the flames rage, smoke billows and the embers burn, 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐲 loud voices argue on……good morning world.

Global Pandemic, economic carnage, climate change, terrorism, disease – need I go on!

The world is in commotion.

Welcome to Planet Earth – 2020

What can I do? What can we do?

Sure, I can make certain that I follow social distancing, recycle my waste and follow the laws of the land.

And yet, this morning, like every morning, somehow I look to the future with hope for a better world, a brighter future.

There are better days ahead. We will get through this challenge. And the next , and the next and the next.

You see, I can choose to make a difference every single day.

An act of kindness.

An act of service.

An act of compassion.

There is always someone to reach out to.

Just open your eyes and look.

It is up to you and me, to make a difference, every single day, one by one.

What will you choose to do today?

One by One

Over the last 30 + years, I have had many opportunities, with 1000’s of individuals to provide coaching, counselling or to share in a mentoring session together.

There are numerous articles, suggestions, models and books outlining what makes a great coaching conversation. In addition, I have also contributed to many discussions in lots of forums on the topic too.

I was however recently reminded again of a blindingly obvious point, it is this – simply stated, these conversations happen 𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙗𝙮 𝙤𝙣𝙚.

Intimate one by one conversations enable the most effective and powerful opportunities for change to occur. Giving someone your undivided attention for 30, 60 or even 90 minutes creates a powerful, meaningful, candid and insightful crucible for change. It is distraction free time.

Frequently, during these one by one moments a “reality check” occurs for the coachee. Indeed, a coaching conversation is perhaps the most personal and powerful form of communication and change that there is.

If you want change to happen, then you need to slow down, make time, listen to understand and consider the power of a coaching conversation, 𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙗𝙮 𝙤𝙣𝙚.

Who will you hold a coaching conversation with today?

Out of your depth?

When was the last time you were “out of your depth?”

Out of your depth – “not having the knowledge, experience, or skills to deal with a particular subject or situation.”

This week, I have experienced major IT problems with my laptop. My own efforts to resolve the matter, just seemed to make it worse. I was out of my depth for sure! I had no idea what was going on with Outlook, and it was just going from bad to worse – causing me all kinds of frustrations and major communication issues.

There is never a good time for technology to fail.

So, I decided to go for a walk, got some fresh air realising that I needed some help.

I contacted Managed IT Experts. I love their strapline “We make technology work for your business” – that’s what I needed. Within minutes he was onto the problem, doing some IT wizardry, resolving the issue at hand and had me back up and running once again.

Lesson learned – sometimes its best to call in the experts when you are well out of your depth!

Thank you Sergio Andre