Life remains fragile.
Like many people all across the world, I have been moved and concerned about COVID-19. It has led me to reflect upon how fragile many things really are. Under the semblance of control we think we have, sadly, we are sorely inadequate at so many things.
In the case of a fleeting few days, the world as we know it, has changed. Its actually a little scary to recognise how vulnerable and delicate our planet and life as we know it really are. The feeble foundation of the global financial system is one thing. The deep cracks within many nations, another. The volatility and ferocity of Mother Nature. The frailties of the human body. Need I go on? All have been exposed to turmoil and disruption.
Let’s be mindful of our fragility and 𝗴𝗿𝗮𝘀𝗽 hold of it, snuggle up to it. Oftentimes it is the fragile nature of something that makes it very precious.
In the days ahead as we rebuild our lives and society starts to recover, lets be ever mindful of the 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘴 that will return once more. We must choose to construct our houses on rock, just like the wise man and not on a sandy foundation, like the foolish man.
All of us will need to dig deep and ensure that we stand on solid foundations so that we are prepared and resilient enough to withstand the storms which will inevitably return.
Summer holidays were always something to look forward to for our family. Dad was a train driver. In summer we would always travel as far away as possible on our free family rail tickets!
For several years, we headed down south to Devon & Cornwall. Ilfracombe, Baggy Point, Lands End, Cornish Pasties and ice cream with a big dollop of clotted cream on top are all fond memories. The beaches were always the very best!
We were staying in a caravan in Ilfracombe. That particular summer, dad took some time to share with me the intricacies of flying a kite. I recall going into a large field on the caravan site, and getting it ready to fly. I’d never flown a kite before, but he patiently taught me the rudimentary skills in order to get it to launch skyward.
We unravelled the string, and he showed me what I needed to do. Firstly though, he held the string and I was asked to throw the kite into the air, to catch the wind. It took some effort and persistence, but after a few attempts, the kite soared into the air. After watching it fly for a little while, he handed me the string. Like magic, as I tugged on the string and let out a little more and more length, it would soar higher and higher. It took some getting used to, but I just loved watching that kite glide gracefully in the air.
Since that day in 1972, I have flown several kites. I have also enjoyed some lovely occasions teaching my own children kite flying skills. One of the most powerful lessons I have learned in life I can trace back to that day, when I learned how to fly a kite.
Its as simple as this – as long as a kite is attached to a string, it will fly high up in the sky. You may think that since it is pulling and tugging on the string, that it would go higher if it was to be set free. But it is not so, if you let go of the string, it will just plummet to the earth. It seems odd that the very thing that keeps the kite down is actually what keeps it up.
There are many strings tied to us from our childhood. Those rules and regulations that seem to hold us down, are actually holding us up. In my childhood, I began to understand. Through life experience I grasped the value of obedience and compliance to rules and regulations. Obedience brings safety, peace and reassurance to one and all. Indeed obedience can be classified as a cure all, for a multitude of woes and challenges of society today. Our success or failure will depend upon personal self-discipline and observance to the rules of life.
In our families, our homes, our communities and our professional working lives, lets be obedient to the laws, the regulations and the guiding principles (the strings) set up so that like the kite, we too can soar high in all of our earthly pursuits – whatever they may be.
This time of enforced solitude is a tremendous opportunity for self reflection, learning and growth.Whilst out for my exercise allowance yesterday, I really appreciated our local beauty spot, known in our neighbourhood as “the Glen.” As I was admiring the charm of nature, my thoughts drifted into thinking about all of the material possessions I had accumulated in life. All those things I had worked so hard to acquire….. just did not matter at all.
A scripture from Matthew 6, ran through my mind “Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal….For where your treasure is, there will be your heart also.”
I recognised very quickly that 𝗮𝗹𝗹 that 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 matters is our family and relationships with others. Previously, I have recorded many thoughts about ownership and stewardship. We own very little and yet are stewards over much.
These times of peril and adversity have a way of refocusing our priorities. The trials, hardships, difficulties and challenges of today 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹 pass. How we choose how to act each day, will impact upon our family and personal relationships for generations to come. Please consider this counsel from a wise leader – Dieter F. Uchtdorf when he said “Why, then, do we devote so much of our time and energy to things that are so fleeting, so inconsequential, and so superficial? Do we refuse to see the folly in the pursuit of the trivial and transient?”
In these challenging times consider once again what really matters most, where does your treasure lie?
In the course of our life, we do not exactly know what lies ahead. 𝙏𝙤𝙙𝙖𝙮, people all over the world are fearful of the challenges ahead. What we do know, is that it will be filled with worry, anxiety, hazards, uncertainty, peril, difficulties and risks. The world is in commotion – pandemics, economic strife, floods, earthquakes, wildfires, panic buying – and that’s only this year.
I am however and always will be an optimist. Our capacities are likely to be tested and stretched. On occasions our hopes may even fade. But this dizzying moment of alarm and discouragement 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 pass. We will recover, triumph and bounce back from these setbacks and adversities.
In one for the many workshops I have facilitated over the last few years, I recall Darwin’s “On the Origin of Species” in it he states, “it is not the most intellectual of the species that survives; it is not the strongest that survives; but the species that survives is the one that is able best to 𝙖𝙙𝙖𝙥𝙩 and 𝙖𝙙𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩 to the changing environment in which it finds itself”.
Top Tips for building resilience:
– Remind yourself of your personal purpose in life
– Generate positive thoughts
– Connect with others – daily
– Take action, be proactive
– Focus on what you can do
– Look after yourself
We are entering unknown territory. One word plays constantly through my mind – 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒑𝒂𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒐𝒏. It literally means “to suffer with” to show mercy, pity and sympathy for another.
I am certain that as we enter the uncharted waters of our day, in the weeks that lie ahead, being more compassionate and having an awareness of others’ distress along with a desire to lighten or relieve those difficulties will be crucial for each and everyone of us.
You can show compassion by listening to others and being understanding. Please, put yourself in their circumstances and consider how they might feel. Showing compassion can be as simple as showing genuine interest in peoples’ lives.
Think of a time when someone really listened to you. How did it make you feel? How do you feel toward that person?
Lets be mindful of our family, friends, work colleagues, neighbours, especially the elderly and infirm – consider their physical, emotional and spiritual well-being.
Who could benefit from your compassionate listening today? Who could use your actions of compassion today?
In preparation for a forthcoming learning event I was reminded one of Aesop’s classic fables of “The Wind and the Sun.”
As I recall, it goes something like this….
In the story, the Wind and the Sun argue over who is stronger, and decide to settle their debate by seeing who can compel a passing traveller to remove his cloak.
The Wind, confident in his strength, begins by blowing fiercely.
The Wind blew with all his might, but the stronger he blew, the closer the traveller wrapped his cloak around him and the tighter he grasped it with his hands.
When the Wind finally tires, the Sun takes a gentler approach.
With the welcome beams of light and warmth, the traveller began to feel the gradual heat of the sun, as it shone brighter and brighter.
Eventually, overcome with the heat, without resistance the traveller cast his cloak on the ground.
Thus, the sun was champion.
This fable highlights a fundamental difference between influence and persuasion versus the use of force or coercion.
The Wind’s approach represents an attempt to dominate and overpower the traveller’s will, pushing him into action.
However, the result is the opposite: the more the Wind exerts force, the more the traveller resists.
Coercion or manipulation comes to mind.
When people feel pushed or controlled, their natural instinct is to resist, much like the traveller tightening his cloak.
The harder the push, the stronger the resistance.
This is seen in situations where force or threats are used to compel behaviour — the results are often fleeting or met with opposition.
In contrast, the Sun’s method embodies the power of influence and persuasion.
Rather than forcing the traveller to act, the Sun creates an environment where the traveller chooses to remove his cloak willingly.
This symbolises the effectiveness of using warmth, patience, and empathy to guide others toward a desired outcome.
Persuasion taps into intrinsic motivation, making people feel like they are in control of their decisions.
By fostering comfort and trust, the Sun influences the traveller’s behaviour subtly but effectively, leading to a more lasting change.
In the realms of leadership, negotiation, or communication, this fable demonstrates that soft power—the ability to persuade and influence through positive means—is often more powerful than direct force.
True influence creates conditions where others willingly adopt ideas or behaviours, rather than acting out of fear or obligation.
Just as the Sun outshone the Wind by gently encouraging the traveller to remove his cloak, the most effective forms of persuasion appeal to reason, trust, and mutual respect.
For me, there is a great lesson in this simple fable that persuasion is better than force.
Indeed, the sunshine of a kind and gentle manner is much more powerful than the threat of force of blustering might.
What lesson does the tale teach you?
Over the last 2 years, I have worked with the leadership team of Mary’s Meals. It has provided me with a great insight to the important work they do globally. They provide chronically hungry children with one meal every school day, encouraging education that can lift them out of poverty in later life.
As I have worked with them, I have come to understand the challenges that children face all over the world.
So, my daughters, Megan, Cristi and I have decided to help raise some money for the charity by jumping out a plane (skydiving) on Monday 25th May 2020.
We’d love your support.
https://giving.marysmeals.org/en_gb/projects/a9sa-sponsored-skydive
Are you quick to observe?
It was 1972 – one Sunday morning, I was a youngster and I’d determined not to go to Church with the other members of my family. Apparently, I had a bit of a reputation for running away on Sunday mornings and hung out with other friends. However, as I remember it, toward the end of the service that day, I’d walked in, sat down on a chair, and fell asleep!
The distance from our home at the time to Church was several miles and back then we’d take the bus. I recall being asked “How did you manage to find your way here?” I replied “I just walked along the route the bus took!” Little did I know then, as I do now that, “the route the bus took” was anything but direct, and added at least 2 miles on the journey!
As a young child, observation was a key learning outcome – and so it is in life. Had I not been observant on my previous bus journeys – I’d never have reached my destination that day. When we are quick to observe, we promptly look or notice and obey.
Dennis Waitley said “we learn by observation, imitation and repetition”
There are lots of examples of observational learning. Pay close attention to all that goes on today, pause, reflect and observe – you’ll soon see what I mean!
