Juggling Four

There’s something about a trip to the loft.
You normally go looking for one thing and end up rediscovering three others you had long forgotten about.
Yesterday, I climbed up to bring down some suitcases.
But, as Scotland enjoyed its warmest day of the year, the sun loungers also looked very appealing.
Tucked away beside them were some old juggling balls and a few spinning plates from years ago.
That immediately brought back memories of living in the Netherlands and helping some dear friends learn to juggle.
What fascinated me then still feels true now: three balls are manageable with a little practice.
Four, however, changes everything.
The leap from three to four is far greater than most people expect.
In fact, I have only ever met a handful of people who could consistently juggle four or more well.
And perhaps life works much the same way.
Most of us can normally keep a few important things moving reasonably well: work, family, health, friendships, responsibilities.
But eventually life can add another ball or two into the air including a health concern, a difficult season in life, financial pressures, anxiety, conflict or even exhaustion.
And suddenly what once felt manageable starts becoming noticeably harder.
Perhaps that is why rest is not laziness.
Sometimes it is wisdom.
Yesterday, I left the juggling balls and spinning plates in the loft.
And with Monic’s help we brought down the sun loungers together instead.
Sometimes we do not need greater productivity.
We simply need a little sunlight, stillness and space to breathe again.
As I sat quietly in the sunshine for a while, I found myself wondering whether part of getting older is slowly learning that we were never designed to keep adding more and more balls into the air.
What “fourth ball” might you be trying to keep in the air right now?

A Little More Brave

Yesterday felt a little like David versus Goliath.
Recently, we’ve been enjoying watching House of David on Prime, with the first season centred around the famous story of David and Goliath.
Yesterday, Kyle, Emily and I joined thousands of Dunfermline supporters travelling through to Hampden Park in Glasgow for the Scottish Cup Final against Celtic – again!
We were also joined by three visiting BYU interns from America – Reagan, Will and Brooklyn – who fully embraced the noise, colour and party atmosphere of Scottish football.
Dunfermline were very much the underdogs.
Celtic had greater resources, a larger support, more expectation and history very much on their side.
It was a brilliant day out, although ultimately the victors were Celtic… again ☹
It was also very much a game of two halves.
In the first half, Dunfermline looked overwhelmed by the occasion.
But after the break, they came out fighting, played with greater belief and even managed to score.
Afterwards, Dunfermline’s manager reflected on the defeat and said something that really stayed with me: “We needed to be 𝒃𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆𝒓.”
Reflecting this morning, that simple phrase lingered in my mind.
Because in many ways, the gospel of Jesus Christ has always been a story of minnows in giant arenas.
David facing Goliath.
A young Nephi returning to Jerusalem.
Esther standing before a king.
The stripling warriors marching into battle.
Ordinary people facing overwhelming odds with little more than faith, courage and trust in God.
Perhaps one of Satan’s greatest tools is intimidation.
The feeling that we are too small, too weak, too inexperienced or perhaps even just too ordinary.
Yet again and again in my experience I know that the Lord works through people who simply choose to be brave.
Not fearless, or perfect, but just willing to step forward and face up to the size of the giants around them.
Sometimes bravery does not immediately change the scoreboard.
Dunfermline still lost 3–1.
But courage changes something inside us.
And perhaps faith itself is a form of bravery.
What giants in our lives are we being asked to face a little more bravely?

The Power of Playfulness

I think somewhere deep down, most of us would quite like to be a little more playful – and perhaps we know that playfulness is still within us… somewhere.
There’s something quietly powerful about playfulness.
It was my birthday this week (thank you for all the kind wishes) and celebrating it at work was a little different this year.
Partway through a learning session at Aviva in Perth on Tuesday, members of the events team suddenly appeared in the training room carrying a plateful of little cakes, and before I knew it, everyone was singing “Happy Birthday.”
Slightly embarrassing? …
Yes.
But also rather lovely.
At the beginning of every Lead the Way programme, we invite people to “check in” by sharing how they are feeling.
There’s some good psychology behind it. Naming our emotions can help us process our thoughts, lower barriers and connect more honestly with others.
Over time, our “feelings wheel” has affectionately become known as the “𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒚 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒚.”
That probably says something in itself.
Interestingly, when checking in myself, one of the words I often choose is playful.
Not because life is always easy.
And not because there aren’t pressures, worries or difficult conversations waiting outside the room.
But because humour, lightness and not taking ourselves too seriously can be deeply healthy things.
A little playfulness changes the atmosphere.
From my experience, it relaxes people and creates connection.
Sometimes a simple smile, a shared laugh or a moment of silliness can do more for a new cohort of participants than another perfectly crafted slide deck.
Research increasingly shows that humour and laughter can reduce stress, improve wellbeing and strengthen relationships.
But beyond the science, most of us simply know this from experience.
We remember the people who made us feel lighter.
And perhaps that matters more than we realise.
In a world that often feels heavy, rushed and serious, maybe being playful is not a distraction from good leadership and healthy relationships.
Maybe it’s part of them.
What happens to people when we give them permission to smile, laugh and relax a little?

Simple Things Shared with Glad Hearts

Despite having lived in Dunfermline for many years, Monic and I had never actually eaten lunch together in the Carnegie Library Café.
So yesterday, after fulfilling different commitments in the morning, we arranged to meet there at 12:15.
As we looked at what was available, we both leaned towards the two gluten free soups on offer.
Monic chose the Sweet Pepper.
I went for the Carrot and Coriander.
We found our seats and shortly afterwards our soups arrived, beautifully presented and looking wonderful.
After a minute or two, Monic leaned over and asked,
“Can I try yours?”
After one spoonful she smiled and said,
“Yours is better.”
As a husband of many years, I sensed this was perhaps more than simple feedback!
So, I offered to swap bowls, but we carried on for a while enjoying our soup and conversation together.
A little later, with our bowls about half full, we exchanged them across the table and quietly smiled.
It was just a simple little moment… sharing soup together in a café on an ordinary afternoon.

The joy of sharing

But afterwards I found myself reflecting on how much joy there is in sharing.
Not just food, but our time, our conversation and encouragement.
We shared a few experiences, discussed our burdens, our faith commitments for the Sabbath day and life itself.
The Saviour so often taught, served and connected with people in simple settings and around ordinary meals.
I was reminded of these lovely words in Acts: “And they… did eat their meat with gladness and singleness of heart.” – Acts 2:46
Sometimes the sweetest moments in life are not the grand occasions at all, but the quiet moments where people willingly share what they have with one another.
There is something deeply joyful about simple things shared with glad hearts.
Even soup.
When was the last time a simple shared moment quietly lifted your heart?

Every Club Counts

Yesterday, while co-facilitating a Lead the Way session at Aviva in Perth, we were exploring leadership styles.

Towards the end of the session, I thought it was time to bring a little unexpected fun into the room. Earlier that morning, in my preparations for the session, I’d had a silly idea…

So… out came the golf clubs. ⛳

A driver, 3 wood, 4 iron, pitching wedge, sand wedge and of course… my putter.

A few slightly puzzled faces looked back at me!

I asked if there were any golfers in the room and one participant bravely volunteered to come forward.

What followed was part leadership lesson, part comedy golf challenge.

We talked about how no golfer would ever play an entire round with just one club.

The driver might help you launch down the fairway, but it’s hopeless in a bunker.

And a putter is perfect on the green, but not much use off the tee.

The wedge helps with delicate recovery shots.

Each club has a purpose for a specific situation and good golfers learn to read the course ahead of them.

In a sense Leadership styles are very similar.

Great leaders don’t rely on one dominant style for every circumstance.

Sometimes a team needs a visionary leader who paints a compelling picture of the future.

At other times they need coaching and encouragement.

Or they may need clarity, pace, collaboration, challenge, reassurance or direction.

The real skill is sensing what the situation requires… and then reaching for the right “club.”

Of course, no leadership activity involving golf clubs would be complete without a little chaos.

So naturally, we finished by attempting to putt golf balls into a mug from across the room using different clubs.

Let’s just say the success rate varied considerably depending on the club selected!

There was plenty laughter, a little competitiveness, and more than a few surprisingly passionate putting techniques on display.

But beneath the fun sat a simple reminder:

Leadership flexibility matters and there is always a choice, but as we watched John we all realised how he slowed down and really concentred too.

The key message landed – the best leaders are not those who master only one style.

They are the ones who develop the awareness, confidence and adaptability to use the right style at the right moment for the people in front of them.

Or, to put it another way…

Sometimes leadership requires a driver, and sometimes it simply requires a very careful putt into a pink mug!

As leaders, are we carrying a full bag of clubs… or just swinging the same one over and over again?

Fleeting Days, Eternal Bonds

Sometimes life quietly reminds us just how fleeting it is.
We’re twenty; we’re forty; we’re sixty; we’re grey.
From an eternal perspective, our mortality on earth is indeed brief.
Last week, along with family and others who held him dear, I said goodbye to my special friend Raymond, who I’ve known for over 47 years.
These last few days, a montage of memories of him has flooded through my mind.
We each have a story.
He was a great friend, who felt almost like a second brother to me.
A man of deep Christian faith, who was well versed in the scriptures.
A lover of books, computers, family history, temple service and someone who loved a long conversation about life and eternity.
He worked tirelessly for his ancestors in the temple for many, many generations of the Byers family. He simply went quietly to work, and I am certain that those eternal ties will bring him much joy on the other side of the veil.
Throughout all those years, Raymond faced many physical challenges, yet somehow despite the adversities, he always found a way to get back up again and again.
There was an uncommon resilience in him.
He was quietly determined.
And filled with humour too.
Reflecting on our friendship this morning, I found myself thinking about how precious people really are.

Memories

From our many conversations and long journeys together, filled with laughter, teasing and little brotherly annoyances.
To the ordinary moments that have slowly become sacred memories over time.
Life moves quickly…too quickly.
Like a brief Scottish mist drifting across the hills… or a tiny will-o’-the-wisp flickering for a moment in the darkness… we are here for such a short time.
And perhaps one of the great lessons of days like today is simply this:
Love people while you have them.
Speak kindly.
Forgive quickly.
Take time for people.
Create memories.
…And never assume there will always be another opportunity.
I’ll miss you dearly Raymond.
I look forward to our runs together through the eternities.
Until we meet again, dear friend… 𝑨𝒅𝒊𝒆𝒖
Who might you need to appreciate a little more while you still can?

The Gentle Rewind

My day always begins early.

This morning, as I sat to write in my journal, I tried something a little different.

So, I sat quietly… and replayed yesterday in my mind’s eye.

I slowed down, even more unhurried, with no sense of rush. And as I did, it felt like watching an old video on rewind. Scene by scene in full colour.

I watched myself.
Where I was.
Who I was with.
What I said.

And how I showed up in each moment.

And something interesting happened.

I began to notice not just what I did… but how I was.

Was I present… or just physically there?
Was I listening… or waiting for my turn to speak?
Was I calm… or quietly hurrying the moment along?

There were moments I liked. Times when I was fully there, engaged, listening, unhurried.

And there were others…

Moments where I could see the subtle rush.
A hint of impatience.
Divided attention.
Tiredness creeping in.
Nothing dramatic.

Just small, human moments.

But really seeing them and properly noticing them, somehow felt different.

There was no harsh judgement.
Just a gentle awareness.

“Did you notice that moment?”
“That’s where you were trying.”
“That’s where you could slow down.”

Those quiet observations changed everything.

Questions…

I found myself asking a simple question as I watched it back:
How did I really show up yesterday?

I realised how rarely I give myself the space to truly see my day.
Not just skim it… but revisit it, unhurried.

Because the truth is, most of leadership – and most of life – isn’t made up of big moments.

It’s made up of small ones, including conversations, glances, pauses, interruptions, fatigue, kindness.

And somewhere in the middle of all that… is who we are becoming.

Slowing down long enough to notice it might be one of the most important leadership practices we develop.

Why not give it a go?

If you were to quietly rewind your day, what might you see that you didn’t notice the first time?

To the Rescue

Yesterday, Oscar and I headed to the little park in the afternoon.
He was looking forward to the swings and slides.
However, our trip quickly turned into a great adventure!
An older child had become stuck in one of the swings.😟
At first, it didn’t seem too serious as a few parents and grandparents gathered together to try and figure out how to free her.
We tried everything we could including considering different angles and ideas.
Others went home and brought tools, steps, towels and even oil!
There was a bit of pulling, pushing and lifting, with the thought that… “this might work…”
You could feel the goodwill, the care and our collective effort.
But despite all that effort, nothing was working.
Everyone was doing their best to help, but our best wasn’t enough.
After a while, we realised it was time to call Fire and Rescue.
Within ten minutes, they arrived with lights flashing.
They were all assured, unflustered, jovial and actually quite fun!
Quickly they assessed the situation.
Then, with the right tools, the right experience, and a quiet confidence born of having done this before…just like that, she was free.
It was followed by relief, smiles, gratitude from everyone and all the kids (plus a few adults – me included) having an opportunity to get a good photo and sit in the fire engine too!

Sunday morning thought

Reflecting this morning, a simple spiritual insight came to my mind, that sometimes we are not meant to do everything alone.
One of the invitations of the gospel of Jesus Christ, is that when we are stuck, is recognising that He has the power to free us and come to our rescue.
Sometimes, just like those well-meaning parents, we keep trying, yet the answer isn’t more effort… rather, it’s turning outward and upward.
Remember…“With God all things are possible.”- Matthew 19:26.
A willingness to say …“I’ve done what I can… now I need help.”
And when we do…?
Like those firefighters arriving at just the right moment – calm, capable, and prepared, I know our Saviour will come with exactly what we require, with His perfect understanding of us and our needs.
What might He be able to free you from, if you let Him?

The Thinking Face

The other day, I was co-facilitating a virtual learning session on coaching for Aviva, on their new flagship leadership programme, Lead the Way.

After an initial exploration of the topic and some key areas to focus on, we sent the participants off into breakout rooms in trios and pairs for a little practice.

Armed with good intentions, a handful of questions, some listening skills and a new coaching model, they had just enough structure to get going.

And off they went.

As I dropped in and out of the rooms, something caught my attention.

Not the questions, the coaching model or even their listening skills.

Rather, it was their 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐞𝐬.

Many had a very familiar look that said something like, “I’m concentrating very hard on getting this right….”

You know that sort of look that was slightly tense, yet focused, and thinking more about the process, than the person.

There was a kind of intensity about them.

It was coaching… but it didn’t quite feel like connection.

Connection Coaching

I smiled, because (although it’s been a while) I’ve been there too.

In coaching, we can get so wrapped up in doing it right that we forget something simple: Your face is always speaking and more importantly, it is a very powerful tool in the coaching world.

Prior to sending them off into the breakout rooms, we’d spent a while considering questions, those of the verbal variety.

Experience has taught me that you can ask many questions in non-verbal ways through facial expressions, eye contact, a raised eyebrow, a puzzled look, tilting your head to the side, tugging your ear, placing your hand on your cheek, stroking your chin, using hand gestures to help or a combination of them all.

Self-awareness is paramount.

So, I left them with one thought towards the end of the session: “Have a think about what your face was saying.”

It may not something we often think about too often, but it might be one of the simplest ways to become a better coach.

Because great coaching isn’t just in the words we use… it’s frequently in the signals we send.

👉 What is your face saying?

Mission to Marriage

Yesterday, I spent part of my afternoon doing something that’s become a regular event for me over the last few months – writing wedding cards! 😍
It seems like every week (almost), that another lovely announcement arrives from one of our missionaries from our time serving together in Belgium and the Netherlands.
We can hardly keep up… which I suppose is a nice problem to have!
Opening every envelope feels like a little time capsule.
Monic and I always pause for a moment, smile at each other, and say something like, “Remember when…?” – and suddenly we’re right back in those mission days, surrounded by people we love.
Writing the cards, I find myself smiling, reminiscing, and feeling so much love for each of them.
So many special moments always come flooding back.
It’s crazy to think that the same young missionaries we once served alongside are now starting families of their own.

Joy filled moments

Time really does move quickly… but thankfully, it brings a lot of joy too.
At this rate, we might need to start budgeting for wedding cards as a monthly expense…! Right now, we buy 20 wee wishes cards at a time – all with a hint of Scotland on them!!
Reflecting this morning, I couldn’t help but think about how much God cares about relationships, covenants, commitments, and our love for one another that grows over time.
I know that marriage is such a beautiful reminder the best things in life are built intentionally, patiently, and with a lot of grace.
And in many ways, it reflects the kind of relationship God invites us into, a relationship centred in love, trust, and daily choosing each other.
It reminded me too of the invitation we’re given to have our “hearts knit together in unity and in love” (Mosiah 18:21).
And maybe that’s what makes moments like these so meaningful – we’re not just remembering the past, rather, we’re seeing how God continues to weave our lives together.
It made me grateful not just for these lovely young couples, but for the way God brings people into our lives for a season… and fortunately, so many dear friends, for a lifetime.
And perhaps that’s the quiet reminder for all of us this week: Love well, stay connected and celebrate people often.
Because I know the relationships we build, are those things that last longest.
What small thing could you do this week to strengthen a relationship that matters?