One cube or two?

That’s a question I’ve asked myself several times recently.

Most mornings for the last 4 weeks, I have added three teaspoons of honey to a mug of hot water.

Following my heavy cold, I’ve had an annoying cough that has lingered way too long!

One morning, in an effort to increase the efficacy of my magic healing concoction, I decided it may be a good idea to add a sugar cube.

One or two I thought?

One morning I tried one.

The next morning, I tried two.

And the result of my experiment?

Sadly, it didn’t help my cough, it only made feel a little guilty about adding more sugar to something that was already sweet.

The next morning, it was back to honey only.

We all make hundreds of decisions every day, some big and some small.

While some of these choices turn out great, chances are that not every decision will be a good one.

We’ve all made choices that we wish we hadn’t.

We all make mistakes, plenty of them in fact.

We never really lose anything when we make mistakes, maybe we do gain experience, hopefully some wisdom and perhaps some compassion for others when they make similar errors.

Bad decisions aren’t all that bad after all, especially if we learn from them.

In fact, you can benefit from all your previous bad choices right now.

And the lesson learned?

Honey is sweet enough!

Every wrong decision has a lesson to teach.

It can be painful to examine your wrong choices.

Do you know what’s even more painful though?

Making the same mistake again.

What have you learned from your unwise choices?

#choices #decisions

What great leaders do…

Yesterday was amazing.
Every six weeks, we meet as a Mission Leadership Council.
I was surrounded by true leaders.
It is their time to lead.
Young men and women, with pure humble hearts, who are principle driven, selfless, devoted, disciplined and who get things done by bringing out the very best in others.
Our time is spent in training, learning, and counselling together.
Great missionary effort requires great leadership, through faith, love, obedience, and work.
All leaders must be good followers and they do that with exactness.
They see potential everywhere.
They are examples of goodness.
They are bold.
They lift and inspire.
They encourage.
They are prayerful.
They listen with genuine empathy.
They communicate with kindness.
They are great teachers.
They take time to slow down and consider what really matters most.
Ultimately, each of them endeavours to emulate the greatest servant leader of all, even Jesus Christ.
They love to serve others, as Christ centred servants.
They minister, one by one.
Remember, one is the key to the ninety and nine.
They feed their sheep.
Meeting with each of them is an absolute joy.
Ezra Taft Benson said…
“Men and women who turn their lives over to God will discover that He can make a lot more out of their lives than they can. He will deepen their joys, expand their vision, quicken their minds, strengthen their muscles, lift their spirits, multiply their blessings, increase their opportunities, comfort their souls, raise up friends, and pour out peace. Whosoever will lose his life in the service of God, will find eternal life.” (See Matthew 10:39)
As a leader, do you constantly remember that you are a servant?

Handling Failure

Experience has taught me, that to suffer some anxiety, some stress, some low moods or depression, some disappointment, or even some failure is 𝒏𝒐𝒓𝒎𝒂𝒍.
Let me repeat that…. 𝐍𝐎𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐋!
Everyone fails.
Everyone.
Everyone has bad things happen to them at some point.
Every now and then, a really good miserable day, or even a few of them may come along all at once, lined up perfectly all in a row, day after day!
Maybe you have felt days like that?
Doomed to failure.
Defeated, lost, discouraged, possibly even feelings of shame and inferiority may arise…
You may even choose to prolong the agony by engaging in some mental torture, relentless self-criticism, beating yourself up and continually berating yourself.
When we feel like this, we may even want to hide, to shrivel up or even just disappear.
Have you been there?
It’s easy to be tough on ourselves. Isn’t it!

If this is you, choose to 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐏!

It is time to change your relationship with failure.
Take a moment…
Breathe.
Think.
Let me assure you, 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐲…
What would you do to support a friend through a similar difficult period?
By showing ourselves some kindness, respect and encouragement, we can practice self-compassion.
With self-compassion, we give ourselves the same kindness and care we’d give to a good friend.
“Self-compassion has been defined as a self-attitude that involves treating oneself with warmth and understanding in difficult times and recognizing that making mistakes is part of being human (Neff, 2003)
Realising that things don’t always go the way you want them to, is a reality shared by each and every one of us.
My experience is to see failure as a step closer to success, not a step backwards.
How can you be kinder to yourself?
Think of a time when you failed at something and someone responded with kindness and reassurance…
How did that make you feel?

Side by Side

I enjoy my early morning studies.
Sleep is very important, but for me my desire to learn the gospel and to come to know my Saviour Jesus Christ has always been more important than lying in my bed for too long each morning.
Russell M. Nelson has said “To those who feel defeated and downtrodden, look to the early hours of the day for your rescue.”
In the wee small hours every morning, when all is quiet and peaceful, there is nothing I enjoy more than to sit on the living room sofa, wrap myself in a blanket and snuggle up with a good book to help me come to know my Saviour Jesus Christ, a little more.

Scriptures

The scriptures have always been a good friend and in them there are many examples of those who arose early in the morning:
• Genesis 19:27 “Abraham gat up 𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒍𝒚 𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈 to the place where he stood before the Lord”
• Exodus 34:4 “Moses rose up 𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒍𝒚 𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈, and went up unto mount Sinai, as the Lord had commanded him, and took in his hand the two tables of stone”
• Joshua 6:12 “And Joshua rose 𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒍𝒚 𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈, and the priests took up the ark of the Lord”
• In Mark 1:35 we read that the Saviour himself arose 𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒍𝒚 “…𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈, rising up a great while before day, he went out, and departed into a solitary place, and there prayed”.
I know that more flashes of inspiration and insight come in those early morning hours, than at any other time of the day.
In the early mornings of the last two weeks, my thoughts have turned to Palm Sunday and General Conference weekend of Saturday 1st and Sunday 2nd April.
Why not join us online?
I’ve enjoyed the General Conference talks from six months ago.

Side by Side

Each morning, I pick up two copies of the Liahona and study them 𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐛𝐲 𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞.
One in Dutch and one in English.
Firstly, I study a talk in Dutch and try to understand as much of the talk as I can.
Secondly, I study the same talk, but this time in English to gain further clarity.
Interestingly, the two-language approach, brings additional inspiration, insight and understanding.
In a letter of 2nd March, the First Presidency said, “General conference provides an opportunity to receive personal revelation as general Church leaders give counsel and direction”
I know personally, that one of the best ways to come to Christ is to listen and study the words of His special witnesses.
The best time for me to that, is 𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐛𝐲 𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞 in the early hours of the morning.
Our missionaries can help you learn of Jesus Christ.
They also like the early mornings too!
What is your favourite time to study?

In a dark place?

Sometimes, we can find ourselves in some dark places in our life.
It can be debilitating.
It’s been my experience, that everyone has low mood days.
And I mean everyone.
When they come (and they will), what can you do about it?
There has been lots written in recent years about positive thinking, mindset, mindfulness, sleeping patterns etc.
Personally, for years, I have maintained a daily habit of journaling.
Unquestionably, it has helped to maintain my mental well-being.
However, one of the most frequently recommended practices by psychologists, counsellors and coaches to help those with dark moods, anxiety or stress, is to keep a 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐭𝐮𝐝𝐞 𝐣𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐚𝐥.
What is a gratitude journal anyway?
Simply, a gratitude journal helps you appreciate life more.
Its easy to begin.
Find a small notebook, some quiet “me” time to reflect, maybe 15 minutes at the end of the day and write down three things that you are grateful for.
Let the gratitude flow…
Here are some ideas to get you started…
• Someone you’re happy to have in your life.
• Your favourite part of the day
• Someone who gave you good advice.
• Good news or something that made you smile.
• Something beautiful you saw today.
• Someone who inspired you.
• Something you love about your work.
The outcomes?
It’ll reduce stress, lower anxiety, release tension, provides clarity, it’ll make you happier and will help you gain a better understanding of yourself.
The more practice you get, the easier it becomes, and you’ll more easily feel the sensations that come into your thoughts as you focus on gratitude.
Go on, give it a go, and start today.

4 Ingredients for Success

As a child, I enjoyed baking scones, cakes and biscuits under the watchful eye of my mother.
It was fun, and a great way to spend Saturday afternoons together.
Licking the wooden spoon at the end of the baking was always the best part!
As I grew older, I recognised that in order to bake a delicious banana loaf, the best way to ensure great results was to follow a good recipe with exactness.
Over many years, my banana loaf has now become somewhat of a Daryl Watson classic in our family!
The result, a happy family, especially my wife, with her gluten free version – (that is a fine art in itself!)
Following a simple recipe, oftentimes leads to great success.
And so, it is in our home, family and business life.
For me, there are 4 simple ingredients to ensure happiness throughout our journey in life.
1. Do something you love – Just like baking banana loaf, I love coaching!
2. Find your purpose – Why are you here? Determine that & follow it!
3. Serve Others – That will help you find joy in your journey.
4. Act – Do not be acted upon – take ownership of your own journey.
Mix them all together and the result will be scrumptious.
Enjoy!
What is included in your simple recipe for success?

Lingering

It started last Saturday with a tickle in my throat.
By Sunday morning, speaking in Hengelo, I had turned into an excellent bass.
By Monday, I was in bed for a whole day to get some rest.
Then all week long, despite my best efforts, to get rid of this sore throat, it has lingered.
My best friends have been an array of products and remedies including: Hot water with honey, oranges, fresh orange juice, lots of water, Strepsils, tissues, Vicks Menthol Rub, an inhaler, multivitamins, paracetamol, ibuprofen and finally, as much rest as I can get!
And thank you too for all the tips!
Sadly, yesterday, we had to postpone a visit from some good friends. I still wasn’t right.
Coughing and spluttering, have lingered with me all week.
𝐋𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: “lasting for a long time or to be slow in parting or slow to act.”
This sore throat is lingering, like a… lingering thing!
Some things seem to linger.
Do you find yourself lingering at times, in places, with friends or even online?
It fascinates me when our missionaries are in any gathering together, they love to linger!
They’re friends after all, and they can’t get enough of lingering.
The toughest part is to encourage them to depart and return to their areas.
Yet, who has time to linger in this busy frantic world we live in?
Do you fit lingering into your daily schedule?
I know that something really special can happen in our relationship with Jesus Christ when we value lingering in His presence.
Every morning before you plunge yourself into the activities of your day, take time to linger with Him.
Psalms 27:14 reads “Wait on the Lord; be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart; wait I say on the Lord.”
In spending more time in prayer, I’m rediscovering the power of lingering.
Prayer is personal, its about communing, thanking, asking, listening, waiting and now I’d add lingering.
Jesus Christ always welcomes those who linger.
And those who linger with Jesus Christ, find that He lingers with them.
If you are in any doubt, simply ask our missionaries – they love to linger!

The Flu…

I don’t like being sick.
I’ve spent the last 24 hours in bed dealing with a bad cold or maybe it’s the flu?
I’m not too certain what virus I currently have, I’m sure it probably doesn’t really matter, although the test tells me its not covid.
This morning, the last thing I wanted to do was get out of bed and get dressed.
Headache, fever, runny nose, sore throat, coughing fits, muscle ache, generally lethargic and so forth.
I guess I’m just feeling sorry for myself.
I’ve gone through a box of tissues, the kind with extra balsam that are supposed to be gentle on your nose.
Paracetamol and ibuprofen have taken the edge off the fever and helped to deal with the symptoms I’m experiencing.
I take all the help I can get, to get healthy again.
Why does it take so long to get over the flu?
I’m an impatient patient!
In fact, I’m a terrible patient.
Monic has been in the bedroom a few times to see how I’m doing, one thing I know for sure, I’m a little bit grumpy!
Everything is more difficult when I’m ill.
Perhaps I should see this as an opportunity for a break from my busy schedule.
Although taking time out is a good thing, I’m not thrilled about staying in my bed.
I’ve written my journal.
Dealt with several emails.
Booked hotel rooms.
Read a book.
Watched a movie.
Got caught up on social media.
Slept.
Drank lots of water.
Two hot cups of water with honey were actually quite nice.
Ultimately, my body is saying “Hey listen, it would be really great if you would just take a rest.”
Roll on the next 24 hours!
How do you deal with being sick? Any suggestions?

Smile

I am not too certain what it is about missionaries, but they are always smiling!
Being with them yesterday, reminded me of an experiment I conducted some years ago.
It was to 𝒔𝒎𝒊𝒍𝒆 𝒂𝒕 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚𝒐𝒏𝒆!
When at home back then, I walked our dog (Fawn) early one afternoon in the “Glen” in Dunfermline.
A perfect time to experiment!
Setting off, school kids were at lunch – they gave me some unusual looks in response.
I bumped into an old friend I hadn’t seen in over 30 years. We talked, laughed and shared many memories.
Next, I met a young family feeding the squirrels, we smiled and they commented about the beauty of the Glen and we struck up a lovely conversation.

Ball throwing time.

Fawn was delighted!
Other dog owners joined in.
Further conversation ensued!
Next – tourists from Gent, Belgium. I practised my Dutch – it was great! We talked and smiled at our language skills.
Finally, nearing home again as I smiled, I received a smile or a cheerful comment in return.
In fact, with the exception of the school kids, everyone I made eye contact with, when I smiled at them, they smiled back or shared a positive greeting.
The results were astonishing!
I was happier, more relaxed, more positive and somehow more approachable.
I loved the walk.
I realised the great power of a smile.
Wearing a SMILE everyday brightens someone’s day.
“Go forward in life with a smile on your face, a sparkle in your eyes, and with great and strong purpose in your heart. The best things in life are the people in your life, the moments we live, and memories we made along the way.” Gordon B. Hinckley
As a child growing up in church, I learned this little song:
“If you chance to meet a frown, do not let it stay.
Quickly turn it upside down and smile that frown away.
No one likes a frowning face. Change it for a smile.
Make the world a better place by smiling all the while.”
Why not conduct your own experiment today and pass on your smile!

In Summary…

In any coaching conversation, one of the most important skills that a coach needs to learn is to reflect, summarise and paraphrase.
𝐑𝐞𝐟𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 back is in essence holding up a mirror for the coachee and letting them hear what they said, using their own words and perhaps even how they said it, tone, and all.
It could be several sentences, a sentence, a few words, or perhaps even just one word.
Reflecting provides both clarity and understanding for the coachee.
𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 on the other hand is when you almost always use the clients words or very occasionally your own words, in a shortened concise overview format, to check that you are both aligned.
Frequently I’ll begin by saying “In summary” or “As I understand it then…” or “In my words, I heard…” It is condensing the content of what has been said, down to its very essence.
Whenever I get nearer the action points of a coaching session, I usually turn to the coachee and allow them to start summarising for themselves.
𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐡𝐫𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠: According to the Oxford Dictionary, “To paraphrase is to express the meaning of (the writer or speaker or something written or spoken) using different words, especially to achieve greater clarity.
Oftentimes I find myself paraphrasing the content of the coachees words, which could be several sentences long.
Or you can also paraphrase the emotion behind the words.
For example a way to paraphrase emotion is to “that sounds really exhausting” when a coachee is finding a situation particularly difficult. This lets the coachee know that you are listening and provides the
evidence that you have really listened!
It also really helps to build trust and develops empathy.
These three principles are important in developing great communication skills.
What principle will you work on in your conversations today?