Is it time to move on?

Recognising that you’ve outgrown something—whether it’s a job, relationship, hobby, or even a lifestyle—can be a challenging but necessary step in personal growth.

I find we hold onto familiar things out of comfort or fear of the unknown.

Yet, life is constantly evolving, and outgrowing certain aspects of it is a natural part of this journey.

As a coach, I’ve discovered that there are some tell-tale signs that it’s time to move on.

Stagnation and Lack of Growth

One of the most common signs that you’ve outgrown something is a feeling of stagnation.

You’re no longer learning, evolving, or feeling challenged in a meaningful way, manifesting itself as boredom or frustration.

At work for instance, you might find that your tasks have become monotonous, with no opportunities for advancement or development.

Or in a relationship, it could feel like there is no deeper connection or emotional growth happening.

If you feel stagnant, it’s time to re-evaluate your goals.

Ask yourself what you really want to achieve and whether your current situation is helping you get there.

Set new goals that challenge you, and make small steps toward them.

It could mean seeking a new job, learning new skills, or communicating openly with others about what you need for growth in relationships.

Consistent Frustration or Unhappiness

When you’ve outgrown something, feelings of frustration, dissatisfaction, or even resentment often start to surface.

You may feel like you’re stuck or wasting your potential.

In relationships, this can manifest as constant arguments or feeling emotionally drained.

In a career, it can feel like you’re simply going through the motions without any real fulfilment.

If you consistently feel unhappy, it’s important to acknowledge your feelings.

My favourite is journaling, I know it can help you reflect on what’s causing these emotions.

Or with the help of a coach or friend, identify whether the frustration stems from something you can change within your current situation, or whether it’s time to move on entirely.

You may need to set boundaries or have tough conversations, or it could be time to explore new opportunities that align more with your values and passions.

You Feel Disconnected

Another sign is a growing sense of disconnection.

Things that once brought you joy, excitement, or passion may now feel empty.

You might feel like you just don’t belong.

Take time to reconnect with yourself by engaging in self-reflection and mindfulness.

Spend time figuring out what excites and energises you now.

This could mean rediscovering old passions or trying new activities.

If you feel disconnected from a social group or relationship, it may be time to seek out new connections that resonate more with who you’ve become.

Your Values or Priorities Have Changed

As we grow, our values and priorities often shift.

You may start to realise that what once mattered most no longer aligns with your current beliefs or goals.

This could happen with friendships, jobs, or even personal habits.

For instance, a career path that once seemed ideal might no longer align with your desire for work-life balance or personal fulfilment.

When your values change, it’s crucial to realign your life accordingly.

Begin by making a list of your current priorities and values.

What’s truly important to you now?

Once you have clarity on these, you can begin making decisions that align with your new values.

This might mean changing careers, pursuing more meaningful hobbies, or prioritising different relationships.

You Daydream About Something New

If you frequently find yourself daydreaming about a different job, relationship, or lifestyle, it could be a clear sign that you’ve outgrown your current situation.

These daydreams often reflect unmet desires or unfulfilled potential.

Rather than dismiss these thoughts, explore them further.

What is it that you’re yearning for?

Is it adventure, creativity, a deeper connection, or more freedom?

Once you’ve identified your desires, start taking concrete steps toward making those dreams a reality.

Research new opportunities, network with people who are in fields or lifestyles that interest you, or create a plan to gradually transition into something new.

In Conclusion

Outgrowing something is a natural part of life, and while it can feel unsettling, it’s also an opportunity for growth and renewal.

A coach can help you along your way.

By recognising the signs—stagnation, unhappiness, disconnection, shifting values, and daydreaming—you can take proactive steps to move forward.

Whether it’s setting new goals, engaging in self-reflection, or seeking new challenges, the key is to embrace change and create a life that aligns with your current self.

If you’re in that space now, message me, I’m happy to listen and help…

 

The Source

In my preparations for a forthcoming learning intervention with a large company, I held a 1-1 call with the leader of the organisation.
He shared lots of thoughts, feelings, analysis and views about current issues, yet I felt I needed more.
After some in depth discussion, I suggested that it would be helpful to meet 1 by 1 with each of the Senior Management Team (SMT).
Thus, I travelled south, to be with them this week.
After setting the context, I asked one question and ran a little activity, repeating it several times over two days.
In each of my personal encounters, one by one they spoke openly and passionately about their responsibilities.
The outcomes were insightful, helpful and enlightening.
Spending time with each leader, connecting with them, grasping their perspectives and engaging with them personally helped me to discern the nature of the challenges at hand.
Direct communication, powerful questioning and active listening were key to each of them giving me their personal views.
Reflecting upon this activity, I believe it to have been a successful use of everyone’s time.

Why?

I went to 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐜𝐞.

In our dialogue, connecting with each member of the SMT was a powerful 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐜𝐞 of helpful insight, allowing me to foster authentic relationships and avoid any distortion of information.

Since then, I have thought about another 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐜𝐞 of even greater insight.
Going to 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐜𝐞, especially in matters of faith and spirituality, carries an unparalleled significance that cannot be replaced by second-hand knowledge, interpretation, or analysis.

Who?

I believe that Jesus Christ is “𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒄𝒆”” of all peace, light, truth and joy.
When we go to Him, we are referring to an intimate, personal encounter with the divine that shapes our spiritual understanding and life in ways that books, sermons, or even conversations with others can never fully achieve.
Encountering Jesus Christ in a personal, direct manner leads to deep, long-lasting change.
𝐇𝐞 is 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒄𝒆 of the living waters, providing an abundance of life, spiritual sustenance and joy.
Speaking to the Samaritan woman as she drew from Jacob’s well, Jesus declared “But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life.” – John 4:13-14
I hope that we will all choose to drink from the divine 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐜𝐞 of all living waters and connect with Him, even Jesus Christ.

Go and Do

It is one thing to go.

It is another thing to do.

Missionary preparation is to be ready to go and do whatever the Lords wants done.

Having worked amongst hundreds of missionaries of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints for the last three years, and thousands throughout my lifetime, they all give me hope for the future of our communities and nations.

Simply stated – they go and do.

Arriving

Arriving infield at Orientation Day, under the watchful eye of Jesus Christ, they select a go and do T-shirt, as a constant reminder of the words spoken by Nephi:

“I will go and do the things which the Lord commanded…” 1 Nephi 3:7

With sufficient faith, and with great intent they go and do whatever He asks.

Laurel Storheim and Sydnee Fillmore, currently serving in Apeldoorn, in the Netherlands, (their fourth transfer together,) are a great example of missionaries who go and do.

Like thousands of missionaries throughout the world, they ask themselves “Based on the teachings of Jesus Christ, what can we go and do today, that will make a difference for someone in our community?”

Scriptures

In Acts 10:38, the apostle Peter describes Jesus Christ as one who “went about doing good.”

Jesus did not solely preach about doing good; He exemplified it through His one by one actions.

His life of selfless service acts as a model for each of us to be personally and actively engaged in helping others.

As Laurel and Sydnee seek to do good, they stand as witnesses of Him.

Without action, without doing, good intentions remain unfulfilled.

Helping others by doing good, is a reflection of our compassion, empathy, and love.

These values, embodied in Jesus’ ministry, are essential to creating a more compassionate world, of which we are in much need of right now.

Service

I’ll never forget the devastating floods that hit Belgium, Germany and the Netherlands in July 2021, shortly after we commenced our missionary service.

Our missionaries at the time took action, going and doing by making regular visits to provide service in and around Liège.

Let’s follow the missionaries example, take action, make a difference in the world, choose to go and do.

You can help in a flooded area, paint a neighbours fence, pick up litter along the street, say hello to a stranger, or ask someone “What can I do for you?” – opportunities are all around us.

Through selfless service, when we go and do good, we inspire others to do the same.

What will you do to love and serve someone in need today?

Accreditation, Certification and Experience

Recently, I was asked; “What is your coaching certification again please?”

In response I stated, “I have an ILM Level 5 Diploma in Coaching & Mentoring.”

“You don’t have 𝐞𝐱𝐞𝐜𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 certification then…more of our clients require 𝐞𝐱𝐞𝐜𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 certification now…” came the reply.

And thus, my soul searching, research and many conversations began.

My ILM Level 5 required 100 hours of coaching, 3 x assessments, 5 days of workshops and a whole host of other requirements too.

Here I am, ten years after being certified by the ILM, looking again at what options were available to gain an ILM Level 7 Certificate or Diploma in Executive Coaching and Mentoring.

The executive certificate is 20 hours of coaching, the executive diploma is 60 hours of coaching, both with 3 x assessments and 4 or 5 days of workshops either online or face to face.

Both involved spending anywhere between £2.5K and £6K, to gain the certification.

I looked at other options with the AOEC, the ICF and the EMCC.

I started to add up not only the monetary costs, but the opportunity costs and the time and commitment it was going to take me to get the word “𝐞𝐱𝐞𝐜𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞” on my certification.

Thoughts around the sunk cost fallacy started to play into my mind.

I considered how much future business I’d lose, if I don’t have that word in my certification.

Time to pause and reflect…

“Was it worth all the effort and expense?” I thought.

Whilst all of this was going on, I had the most wonderful conversation with my former coaching Supervisor, who brought me back to reality…

“I wouldn’t underestimate the value of your Level 5 diploma,” said Gwynneth.

“And remember the ‘curriculum’ and structure of the L7 are not so different after all.”

Suddenly it all started to make sense.

For ten years and more, I’ve accumulated some nearly 8,000+ hours of one-one coaching, team coaching and mentoring.

I’ve coached throughout the leadership pipeline, from members of the Board, Chief executives, Managing Directors, Senior Managers, Middle & Junior Managers, to top talent and future leaders.

I’ve designed, delivered and facilitated global coaching programmes online and face to face.

Whatever way you look at it, that’s a heck of a lot of experience.

I’ve had numerous expressions of thanks, and I’ve received many testimonials too.

I had a choice to make, which included doing nothing at all, by simply carrying on as before.

I actually didn’t need to expend several thousands of pounds to get another word in my diploma, I have more than enough experience already.

Other Options?

But perhaps there was another option.

“Is there any other way to show my experience…” I thought.

And then the penny dropped.

I’ve been a member of the Association for Coaching for the last ten years.

I’d even attended many of their workshops/learning sessions either online or face to face.

So, I explored becoming a “Fellow” of the Association which recognises for a small additional annual cost, the experience that I’d gained over all those years.

Subsequently, I am pleased to say that I am now a “Fellow of the Association for Coaching”, which credits me for the many years of professional experience and contributions to the world of coaching and mentoring that I have made.

If you are one of those many coaches out there, where some clients are demanding the word “executive” in your credentials, before you make any rash, expensive decisions, perhaps you should think again.

Fellow Certificate_Daryl Watson

Retreat and Recover

In my studies through the years, I find it fascinating that the leaders of three of the world’s great religions have one thing in common…
They understood the importance of stepping back from the world for personal reflection and renewal.
In ancient times, spiritual leaders sought refuge in nature or isolated spaces, understanding that it was in these quiet moments that clarity of purpose and direction emerged.
For example, the Buddha meditating under the Bodhi tree in northern India (the place of enlightenment) would form the foundation of Buddhism.
In the Quran, there are numerous accounts of the Prophet Muhammad receiving revelations and instruction from the Angel Gabriel in the cave of Hira, which shaped the world of Islam.
Jesus Christ often retreated from his followers into the wilderness to meditate and pray, helping him connect with deity in order to establish Christianity.
Each of them reminds us of the importance of stepping back from the world to take some time to reflect and recover.
Modern leaders can take inspiration from these examples by carving out time for reflection, not only to recharge physically but also to reassess their leadership and the broader impact of their decisions.
Whether in politics, business, or social organisations, leaders face constant pressures to perform, make decisions, and address challenges swiftly and effectively.

Torryburn

My experience on Saturday was a simple mini example of this, taking some uninterrupted time to be alone or in this case sharing it with someone special.
Monic and I took a 2 hour long walk along the seashore, borrowing my sister’s dog Fern.
We thoroughly enjoyed our time of rejuvenation, foraging for brambles along the way and taking time to pause, reflect, talk and recover.
In our fast-paced, hyper-connected world of today, the notion of retreating for renewal has in recent years, gained a renewed relevance, especially for leaders.
A retreat, whether it’s time spent in nature or engaging in deep meditation, offers a space to disconnect from noise and reconnect with oneself, which in turn fosters sharper judgment and greater creativity.
Regularly tending to the emotional, physical, spiritual and mental aspects of our lives keeps us in a well-resourced state.
I know that most of my innovative ideas come not from being in the middle of the action but from stepping back, in moments of solitude and reflection.
Just as spiritual figures like Buddha, Muhammad, and Christ found profound insights in times of isolation, you and I along with today’s leaders can benefit greatly from stepping away from daily responsibilities to recharge, reflect, and renew our sense of purpose.
Everyone needs to unplug, refocus, retreat and reboot sometimes.
Go on – make that time to retreat today….
You know you need to.

God-incidence

For those of us who have put our faith and trust in God, there seems to be a lot of “coincidences.”
I believe that God puts people in our way for a reason and He was at work again this week, with my dear friend Derek.
We were talking about recognising “hand of the Lord” moments in our life, when he introduced me to the term “𝑮𝒐𝒅-𝒊𝒏𝒄𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒆.”
It was the very first time I’d heard such a phrase.
“𝐆𝐨𝐝-𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞” – A happening exceeding happenstance.
The hand of the Lord, divine design, divine signatures, divine appointment, divinely orchestrated, providential coincidences, or even… strikingly juxtaposed events!
I encourage you to reflect on the sheer ‘coincidences’ in your life.
Could they be ‘God-incidences?

You decide!

Does any of this sound familiar?
“That is simply not possible.”
“Wasn’t that just perfect timing?”
“And you just happened to be in the right place at the right time.”
“I couldn’t have planned that better if I’d tried.”
“It just so happened that in that moment…”
God doesn’t work by coincidence.
I believe in God-incidence.
And this is not a faith specific phenomenon.
It occurs in all faiths and beliefs.
And yet, it baffles believers and sceptics alike.
I also believe all things are crafted by God — including time.
He is omnipotent, omniscient and omnipresent!
Nothing is random with Him.
If you are devoted to Jesus Christ, I am sure you’ll notice God-incidence, yet many will argue simply human coincidence.
However, I know that Jesus Christ is a loving God and He has intentional plans for each of us.
“The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord: and he delighteth in his way.” – Psalms 37:23
Let’s expect Him to be at work, in our day, every day!
Look very carefully at your own life today.
Watch and see those God-incidences unfold…

Showing Up

Will you be attending a meeting of any kind today?
Perhaps it’s a coaching session, a one-day training seminar, a job interview, a meeting with your boss, or even a visit with an elderly parent.
In my lifetime, I have sat through tens of thousands of different kinds of meetings.
There are those that I was fully prepared for, excited to attend and others that I simply “showed up” and completely missed the purpose of the event.
Do you know what I mean?
Physically present, but mentally absent…
Something else was on my mind…other thoughts, worries, plans or whatever.
Have you been there?

Being Present

“Showing up,” in its most powerful sense, means being present – cognitively and emotionally.
In my view, “showing up” is about being present for others while putting your own desires and ambitions to the side.
It demands active preparation, engagement, mental readiness, and emotional presence.
As a coach, as I prepare for any session, I carefully consider what I may encounter ahead with my client.
It is a matter of focus, choosing to be fully present and engaged.
I may ask myself, “What is the purpose of this session, and how can I add value?”
True presence in a coaching session or any meeting requires active listening and observation, which goes beyond what’s being heard and seen, its about what you feel too.
Actively engaging with the ideas presented allows you to better contribute to the discussion.
Pausing to reflect on the information, asking questions, and offering thoughtful feedback shows that you’re mentally engaged and not just physically present.
Just prior to a recent important meeting, I practiced a mindfulness technique of deep breathing beforehand to help my focus and listening.
Being emotionally present is also essential.
Your attitude and energy can either inspire or demotivate, and will help you to read the room and the moment.
Check in with your emotions and pause before entering the meeting to ensure you’re bringing positive energy.
Showing up is a skill, and like all skills, it needs to be continuously put into practice.
But you can do it.
You will come away from your experiences, changed, simply because you showed up!
What will you do to “show up” today?

Post Mission Life

Voicemails
Letters
Emails
Videocalls
Zoom calls
Phone calls
Instagram messages
Facebook messages
WhatsApp messages
BeReal photos
Text messages
And many more…
And best of all personal visits too!
It was a great to have a visit yesterday with Eleanor and her husband Paul.
Thanks for coming, it was such a joy to catch up. 😊
This has been the norm since arriving home from our mission in Belgium and the Netherlands.
Daily, there are messages from missionaries about many things!
A marriage announcement.
Asking for a reference for a new position.
Requiring a recommendation for a university application.
A request for a coaching conversation.
A baby is on the way!
When can we come and visit?
Birthday celebrations
“Its been a long time since we caught up, we should find a time to do so”
“I just wanted to reach out and set up a time when we could talk”
“We’re planning a trip to Scotland…”
“What you up to Pres?”
“Here’s the link for my Homecoming talk”
Silly emojis
Photos galore
And here was me thinking that post mission life could be dreary and dull!
Our relationships continue to grow ever richer and stronger.
It is simply wonderful.
And it will go on forever.
I love it!
And how I love every single one of our missionaries.
They are simply the best of the best.
What’s been the best part of post mission life for you?

Human Connections

All week long I’ve been building relationships, making new acquaintances, or catching up with people I hadn’t seen for a long time.
It felt like a lot.
Between 1-1 meetings, coaching sessions, presentations, associate team gatherings, new business relationships, family and friends, I reckon I have interacted with around 350+ different people this week, either face to face or online.
In my personal studies, I researched a lot about Gen Z, those born between 1997 and 2012.
Research shows that despite being the most digitally connected generation, Gen Z is also one of the loneliest.
Their online interactions often lack the depth and emotional nuance of face-to-face communication.
The isolation brought on by COVID-19 exacerbated this, leaving many feeling disconnected.
In my studies, I discovered a new term 𝒅𝒊𝒔-𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒆
𝐝𝐢𝐬 – meaning “lack” or “absence” and 𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 – meaning “comfort” or “well-being”.
Thus, 𝐝𝐢𝐬-𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 refers to a state of unease, discomfort, or tension.
It isn’t necessarily a physical illness, but rather a psychological, emotional, or even spiritual imbalance.
In my view, we are actually living in a time of massive dis-ease and disconnection.
Technology seems to connect us more than ever, but the reality is that the screens around us disconnect us from the marvels of nature, from our true selves, and from family and friends.
So, how do we overcome this dis-ease or malaise?
This week I had a discussion with a new friend about building connections.
In order to thrive, we all need human connections and face to face interactions.
Those “horizontal” connections are the foundation for our emotional, mental, and physical wellbeing.
But there is also a “vertical” connection that is equally important, with our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, that nourishes our spiritual wellbeing.
Jesus said, “Learn of me … and ye shall find rest unto your souls” (Matthew 11:29).
Connection with deity is vital to our sense of meaning in this life.
When we build a relationship with God, we better understand the plan He has for us.
“And this is life eternal, that they might know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent” —John 17:3
How have you felt “rest unto your soul” recently?

Are you dependable?

In life, one value stands out as a true game-changer: dependability.
Whether it’s at work, in friendships, or in family relationships, being dependable builds trust and strengthens bonds.
So, what does it mean to be dependable, and why is it so important?
On returning home from Belgium and the Netherlands recently, we needed some help with some home repairs.
I explained the situation to my bother in law Ali, along with another friend Tony and they promised to come along one day, when I’d hire a ladder.
The duly appointed Thursday arrived.
What would have happened after all the planning, costs and arrangements if they were nowhere to be found?
How do you think that would have made me feel?
Probably frustrated, let down, or even hurt.
Now – flip that around!
The duly appointed Thursday arrived.
Both Ali and Tony arrived early, we worked on around six projects inside and outside, completed all the work in a timely manner and had a bit of fun too!
The cost of their labour – I treated them to lunch from the local bakery!
The priceless message was this – I could count on them!
If you make a commitment – do you live up to it?
Dependability isn’t just about keeping promises—though that’s a big part of it!
It’s also about consistency, reliability and responsibility.
At work, being dependable means your team can trust that you’ll meet deadlines and complete tasks to the best of your ability.
In friendships and relationships, dependability is key to forming meaningful, deep, lasting connections.
When people know they can trust you, it strengthens the connections between you.
So, ask yourself: are you dependable?
If the answer is yes, you’re already on the path to success.
If not, don’t beat yourself up too much, dependability is something you can build.
Start today by making small pledges and keeping them and watch how it positively impacts every part of your life.
Can you be counted on?