Fleeting Days, Eternal Bonds

Sometimes life quietly reminds us just how fleeting it is.
We’re twenty; we’re forty; we’re sixty; we’re grey.
From an eternal perspective, our mortality on earth is indeed brief.
Last week, along with family and others who held him dear, I said goodbye to my special friend Raymond, who I’ve known for over 47 years.
These last few days, a montage of memories of him has flooded through my mind.
We each have a story.
He was a great friend, who felt almost like a second brother to me.
A man of deep Christian faith, who was well versed in the scriptures.
A lover of books, computers, family history, temple service and someone who loved a long conversation about life and eternity.
He worked tirelessly for his ancestors in the temple for many, many generations of the Byers family. He simply went quietly to work, and I am certain that those eternal ties will bring him much joy on the other side of the veil.
Throughout all those years, Raymond faced many physical challenges, yet somehow despite the adversities, he always found a way to get back up again and again.
There was an uncommon resilience in him.
He was quietly determined.
And filled with humour too.
Reflecting on our friendship this morning, I found myself thinking about how precious people really are.

Memories

From our many conversations and long journeys together, filled with laughter, teasing and little brotherly annoyances.
To the ordinary moments that have slowly become sacred memories over time.
Life moves quickly…too quickly.
Like a brief Scottish mist drifting across the hills… or a tiny will-o’-the-wisp flickering for a moment in the darkness… we are here for such a short time.
And perhaps one of the great lessons of days like today is simply this:
Love people while you have them.
Speak kindly.
Forgive quickly.
Take time for people.
Create memories.
…And never assume there will always be another opportunity.
I’ll miss you dearly Raymond.
I look forward to our runs together through the eternities.
Until we meet again, dear friend… 𝑨𝒅𝒊𝒆𝒖
Who might you need to appreciate a little more while you still can?

The Gentle Rewind

My day always begins early.

This morning, as I sat to write in my journal, I tried something a little different.

So, I sat quietly… and replayed yesterday in my mind’s eye.

I slowed down, even more unhurried, with no sense of rush. And as I did, it felt like watching an old video on rewind. Scene by scene in full colour.

I watched myself.
Where I was.
Who I was with.
What I said.

And how I showed up in each moment.

And something interesting happened.

I began to notice not just what I did… but how I was.

Was I present… or just physically there?
Was I listening… or waiting for my turn to speak?
Was I calm… or quietly hurrying the moment along?

There were moments I liked. Times when I was fully there, engaged, listening, unhurried.

And there were others…

Moments where I could see the subtle rush.
A hint of impatience.
Divided attention.
Tiredness creeping in.
Nothing dramatic.

Just small, human moments.

But really seeing them and properly noticing them, somehow felt different.

There was no harsh judgement.
Just a gentle awareness.

“Did you notice that moment?”
“That’s where you were trying.”
“That’s where you could slow down.”

Those quiet observations changed everything.

Questions…

I found myself asking a simple question as I watched it back:
How did I really show up yesterday?

I realised how rarely I give myself the space to truly see my day.
Not just skim it… but revisit it, unhurried.

Because the truth is, most of leadership – and most of life – isn’t made up of big moments.

It’s made up of small ones, including conversations, glances, pauses, interruptions, fatigue, kindness.

And somewhere in the middle of all that… is who we are becoming.

Slowing down long enough to notice it might be one of the most important leadership practices we develop.

Why not give it a go?

If you were to quietly rewind your day, what might you see that you didn’t notice the first time?

To the Rescue

Yesterday, Oscar and I headed to the little park in the afternoon.
He was looking forward to the swings and slides.
However, our trip quickly turned into a great adventure!
An older child had become stuck in one of the swings.😟
At first, it didn’t seem too serious as a few parents and grandparents gathered together to try and figure out how to free her.
We tried everything we could including considering different angles and ideas.
Others went home and brought tools, steps, towels and even oil!
There was a bit of pulling, pushing and lifting, with the thought that… “this might work…”
You could feel the goodwill, the care and our collective effort.
But despite all that effort, nothing was working.
Everyone was doing their best to help, but our best wasn’t enough.
After a while, we realised it was time to call Fire and Rescue.
Within ten minutes, they arrived with lights flashing.
They were all assured, unflustered, jovial and actually quite fun!
Quickly they assessed the situation.
Then, with the right tools, the right experience, and a quiet confidence born of having done this before…just like that, she was free.
It was followed by relief, smiles, gratitude from everyone and all the kids (plus a few adults – me included) having an opportunity to get a good photo and sit in the fire engine too!

Sunday morning thought

Reflecting this morning, a simple spiritual insight came to my mind, that sometimes we are not meant to do everything alone.
One of the invitations of the gospel of Jesus Christ, is that when we are stuck, is recognising that He has the power to free us and come to our rescue.
Sometimes, just like those well-meaning parents, we keep trying, yet the answer isn’t more effort… rather, it’s turning outward and upward.
Remember…“With God all things are possible.”- Matthew 19:26.
A willingness to say …“I’ve done what I can… now I need help.”
And when we do…?
Like those firefighters arriving at just the right moment – calm, capable, and prepared, I know our Saviour will come with exactly what we require, with His perfect understanding of us and our needs.
What might He be able to free you from, if you let Him?

The Thinking Face

The other day, I was co-facilitating a virtual learning session on coaching for Aviva, on their new flagship leadership programme, Lead the Way.

After an initial exploration of the topic and some key areas to focus on, we sent the participants off into breakout rooms in trios and pairs for a little practice.

Armed with good intentions, a handful of questions, some listening skills and a new coaching model, they had just enough structure to get going.

And off they went.

As I dropped in and out of the rooms, something caught my attention.

Not the questions, the coaching model or even their listening skills.

Rather, it was their 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐞𝐬.

Many had a very familiar look that said something like, “I’m concentrating very hard on getting this right….”

You know that sort of look that was slightly tense, yet focused, and thinking more about the process, than the person.

There was a kind of intensity about them.

It was coaching… but it didn’t quite feel like connection.

Connection Coaching

I smiled, because (although it’s been a while) I’ve been there too.

In coaching, we can get so wrapped up in doing it right that we forget something simple: Your face is always speaking and more importantly, it is a very powerful tool in the coaching world.

Prior to sending them off into the breakout rooms, we’d spent a while considering questions, those of the verbal variety.

Experience has taught me that you can ask many questions in non-verbal ways through facial expressions, eye contact, a raised eyebrow, a puzzled look, tilting your head to the side, tugging your ear, placing your hand on your cheek, stroking your chin, using hand gestures to help or a combination of them all.

Self-awareness is paramount.

So, I left them with one thought towards the end of the session: “Have a think about what your face was saying.”

It may not something we often think about too often, but it might be one of the simplest ways to become a better coach.

Because great coaching isn’t just in the words we use… it’s frequently in the signals we send.

👉 What is your face saying?

Mission to Marriage

Yesterday, I spent part of my afternoon doing something that’s become a regular event for me over the last few months – writing wedding cards! 😍
It seems like every week (almost), that another lovely announcement arrives from one of our missionaries from our time serving together in Belgium and the Netherlands.
We can hardly keep up… which I suppose is a nice problem to have!
Opening every envelope feels like a little time capsule.
Monic and I always pause for a moment, smile at each other, and say something like, “Remember when…?” – and suddenly we’re right back in those mission days, surrounded by people we love.
Writing the cards, I find myself smiling, reminiscing, and feeling so much love for each of them.
So many special moments always come flooding back.
It’s crazy to think that the same young missionaries we once served alongside are now starting families of their own.

Joy filled moments

Time really does move quickly… but thankfully, it brings a lot of joy too.
At this rate, we might need to start budgeting for wedding cards as a monthly expense…! Right now, we buy 20 wee wishes cards at a time – all with a hint of Scotland on them!!
Reflecting this morning, I couldn’t help but think about how much God cares about relationships, covenants, commitments, and our love for one another that grows over time.
I know that marriage is such a beautiful reminder the best things in life are built intentionally, patiently, and with a lot of grace.
And in many ways, it reflects the kind of relationship God invites us into, a relationship centred in love, trust, and daily choosing each other.
It reminded me too of the invitation we’re given to have our “hearts knit together in unity and in love” (Mosiah 18:21).
And maybe that’s what makes moments like these so meaningful – we’re not just remembering the past, rather, we’re seeing how God continues to weave our lives together.
It made me grateful not just for these lovely young couples, but for the way God brings people into our lives for a season… and fortunately, so many dear friends, for a lifetime.
And perhaps that’s the quiet reminder for all of us this week: Love well, stay connected and celebrate people often.
Because I know the relationships we build, are those things that last longest.
What small thing could you do this week to strengthen a relationship that matters?

The Quiet Realisation

After graduating from university many years ago, I found myself doing what many of us do at that stage of life, scanning the horizon for job opportunities and wondering where I might fit in.
One of those opportunities came in the form of Ford Motor Company, with a potential role based in Dagenham.
It was a great big opportunity, the kind I couldn’t ignore.
I progressed through the early stages of assessments and regional interviews. Then came the invitation to the final selection process.
Three days in Dagenham, a hotel stay and just twelve of us left from the thousands who had started.
The first two days went very well.
Each day, we were given feedback on how we were tracking, and I found myself in a strong position, close to securing one of only a handful of places.
I could even start to picture it. The job. The future. The direction my life might take.
Then came the tough final day.

Knowing

I recall a series of complex global transactions, multiple currencies, decisions under pressure, all in a team session, and closely observed. I remember sitting there, working through it all, with a growing sense that this wasn’t quite clicking.
And somewhere, in those few moments, being honest with myself – I knew.
By the end of the exercise, I had a quiet clarity, this wasn’t going to be for me.
At the time, it felt like a near miss, one of those “almost” moments.
But looking back now, it feels more like a gentle redirection.
This moment turned out to be an important one in my life.
Had I stepped into that commercial role, my whole life would have unfolded in different ways. I understood then, that choosing one path, let’s go of countless others.
Life has taught me that not getting something isn’t always a loss, rather it’s simply a realignment. And what feels like failure may simply be life steering you away from something that doesn’t quite fit.
I have learned too that you don’t always need the final result to know the answer. Sometimes you just know, and that quiet clarity has saved me a few times from chasing the wrong thing.
Looking back now, I’m genuinely grateful for those three days.
Because sometimes the opportunities we don’t get are the ones that quietly shape everything that comes next and help us understand who we are becoming.
Is there a path you didn’t take… that you’re now grateful for?

Twelve facilitators in a room…

It’s been quite a journey.

A year ago, this might have felt like a bit of a pipe dream for some at Aviva. But last week in London, it became very real.

For the first time, our full UK Lead the Way facilitation team came together for a couple of days in person. Twelve of us, all part of Aviva’s flagship leadership programme – Lead the Way, finally in the same room after months of working side by side from a distance.

What became obvious pretty quickly is just how much we enjoy working together.

There was a real buzz when this group got going.

Between us, there’s a huge amount of experience, and when we start sharing ideas, swapping stories and building on each other’s thinking, the energy lifts… along with the noise levels.

At times, we were probably one step away from needing a facilitator for the facilitators. 😃

There are also a few proper characters in the team, which really helps.

Strong opinions, quick wit, and just enough mischief to keep things interesting. In other words, plenty of laughter alongside the learning too.

It’s obvious that we’re a group who care deeply about what we do.

It came through in every conversation. At one point, someone described it as “violent agreement” – lots of energy, lots of perspectives, and a slightly chaotic way of realising we actually all agree.

The feedback on the programme so far has been pretty amazing, which we’re proud of.

But there’s no sense of “job done.” If anything, it’s the opposite.

There’s a shared drive to raise the bar even higher, and a real belief that the best days are still ahead of us, especially as we tap into the full mix of skills across our community of practice.

Two days that reminded us why this work matters… and confirmed that getting this group in a room together was a very good idea – especially day two, when a bigger room gave our energy (and volume) a bit more space.

What makes a team really click when you get them in the same room?

Hope in Extra Time

Yesterday, I found myself back at Hampden Park for the first time in many years.
Dunfermline vs Falkirk in the Scottish Cup semi-final.
Fans on both sides were filled with hope for a victory.
Kyle and Emily drove all the way up from Liverpool to see the game!
It had everything that you’d expect from a semifinal match – noise, colour, scarves in the air, and above all that shared sense of anticipation.
We bumped into a few familiar faces from Dunfermline too.
But the game itself… it was very tight, and to be honest… it wasn’t a great spectacle!
It certainly wasn’t a classic, nor one that I will rush to watch again.
90 minutes passed and it was still 0-0.
An extra 30 minutes played out too – then it was penalties.
Those tense few minutes turned into an incredible celebration victory for the Pars!
Unbelievably – they won!
As I drove home, I found myself thinking about how much of life feels a bit like that.
Dunfermline’s fans hopes were fulfilled with joyful smiles, laughter and singing all the way home with their eyes now firmly set on the final in a few weeks’ time.
Whilst the Falkirk fans… well, their hopes were dashed.
They left more quietly, with their heads lowered, carrying the disappointment of what might have been… and yet, perhaps, still holding on to the thought of better days ahead.
So, what is Hope?
In a general sense, I think hope is a feeling of desire and confident expectation that something good will happen in the future, a belief even that a specific desired outcome is indeed possible.
This morning, my mind turned to a more spiritual definition, it is the Sabbath after all.
The Gospel sense of hope is different.
“Happy is he,” said the Psalmist, “that hath the God of Jacob for his help, whose hope is in the Lord his God.” (Psalm 146:5)
Hope isn’t a certainty we can prove, but a quiet, steady trust that the Lord, Jesus Christ will do exactly what He has promised.
I know that with hope we can find joy in this life as we trust in God’s promises.
So perhaps, whatever “extra time” you find yourself in right now…
hold on to hope a little longer, because even there, I believe He is still at work.
Where in your life might you need to trust that just a little more today?

The Art of Not Hurrying

I tried a little experiment recently.
In my determination to slow down and ruthlessly eliminate the feeling of hurry, I deliberately…. yes, deliberately, forced myself to stand in the longest line at Tesco to pay for my groceries.
I must admit it was tough!
I even let another person into the line to go ahead of me.
That was pretty tough too!
Admittedly, to begin with there were a few downsides, and I felt a little anxious as I observed other lines and self-checkouts moving faster.
But there were a lot more upsides!
I engaged in several lovely conversations and somehow that felt like a much better outcome for me.
In fact, I noticed things I would normally miss… a smile, a comment, a bit of shared humour.
It felt less like “wasting time” and more like choosing how to spend it.
It actually felt good, to start slowing.
Choosing to wait, made hurrying impossible for me.
I know I need to practice and train a little more and find a few other ways to slow myself even more.
Can I survive without hurrying?!
Hmmm….
Do you find yourself rushing when in fact there is no need to?
Maybe the slow lane isn’t the worst place to be after all.
Next time, I might even choose it again… on purpose.
What’s your version of the slow queue?

Ladybirds in the Stairwell

Last week, Monic and I spent a few days at the Preston Temple.
It was nice just to slow down a little, pause and reflect.
In doing so, I began to notice some small things I would normally miss.
Twice during the week, I found a tiny ladybird trapped inside the temple stairwell.
I have no idea how they got there, but somehow, they were drawn in and unable to find their way back out.
Both times, I did the same simple thing.
I held out my hand, letting it climb on, and then carried it gently back outside to enjoy its freedom once more.
It was such a small, almost insignificant thing to do… and yet, it didn’t feel insignificant.
Because standing there, just for a moment, I found myself thinking:
How often do we find ourselves a little like that ladybird?
Drawn into something…
Then finding ourselves a little bit stuck.
Not quite sure how to find our way out again.

Freedom

And yet, as we exercise our faith in Jesus Christ, He provides a way.
Often, that way is found in the covenants we make with Him, those quiet promises that guide us back when we feel a little lost.
Not always in dramatic ways, but gently, quietly even.
Through small moments, small promptings… even small acts.
That simple moment reminded me of something I hadn’t fully seen before.
The temple isn’t just a place we go to serve.
It’s a place where help is available on both sides of the veil.
Where we are steadied.
And where, often without us even noticing, we are quietly set free.
Temples are places where we can find refuge from the storms of life.
Free from distraction.
Free from noise.
Free to remember who we are and what matters most.
It is, after all, a sacred, quiet place where, through Jesus Christ – heaven and earth meet.
Sometimes, all it takes is slowing down enough to notice.
I am so grateful for the temple, for its beauty, its peace, and for the way divine guidance comes through promptings and impressions from the Holy Ghost.
Where in your life might the Lord be quietly trying to lead you back to freedom?