Disappointment

After coming in contact with someone with Covid this week, we’ve been in isolation for a few days.
Yesterday, despite our great determination, because of a number of growing cases of covid in the mission, we took a difficult decision to postpone (again) a mission conference, planned for the week ahead, with a visiting general authority of the church.
Our hopes were dashed once more…
Disappointment, discouragement and being a little down were not far from our thoughts yesterday, as we knew the impact the decision would have on our missionaries. Dealing with disappointment is not easy and it brings a kind of sadness with it too.

What did we learn?

Yet, setbacks are part of our experience as human beings.
I have learned in life too, that as we deal with disappointments, we need to understand that these temporary blips in our lives are just that — temporary!
The key, however, is to boldly face disappointments and to master and control the emotions that arise.
Maybe it is required of all of us to know that through disappointments in life we may experience that which was taught in Doctrine & Covenants 29:39 “if they never should have bitter, they could not know the sweet.”
All that said, in one of my favourite scriptures we read in Doctrine and Covenants 61:36, “And now, verily I say unto you, and what I say unto one I say unto all, be of good cheer, little children; for I am in your midst, and I have not forsaken you.”
So – in the midst of our disappointment yesterday, after dealing with and sharing our emotions with one another, we chose to change and cheer ourselves up. We put things into perspective!
It was our day off after all.
We put up the table tennis table and played for a little while. Then we had a game of Sequence, we ate some warming soup, had a chocolate or two, and finally we listened and danced to some cheerful Irish folk music – all of which lifted our spirits.
What do you do to overcome disappointments?

Time

As a teenager, only moments ago, I had time aplenty. However, youth moves quickly to maturity.
Now, in my mid 50’s – I’m acutely aware of my mortality, my time here on earth is running out!
Families that were once young, are then grown, and then gone.
If we have lived through half a century, a quarter or even a fifth of a century, we know how quickly time has come and gone.
Like me, if you have lived through half a century, then you’ll know as I do that two times our lifetime isn’t very long at all!
Time is so full and yet so fleeting, and upon its use depends all the possibilities that there are.
Sometimes we can think of the past as a thing quite apart from the present. Really they are one eternal round.
As Goethe put it, “things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least.”
Jack N. Gerard observed “We live in a world of information overload, dominated by ever-increasing distractions that make it more and more difficult to sort through the commotion of this life. Unless we take the time to reflect, we may not realise the impact of this fast-paced environment on our daily lives and the choices we make.”
As I flick through TV channels, or scroll through social media, too often I find a world saturated with incessant noise, much of which is too loud, garish and crude. We need to pause and contemplate what we choose to do with the precious gift of time, before we fritter it away in frivolous “trivial tripe!” said James E Faust.
We don’t need more time. We have all the time there is. No one has more of it than each of us has. We must manage ourselves accordingly, rather than allowing conditions to manage us. Step back from the world – ask yourself how will I measure my life?
Words may change, styles may change, the man-made manner of life may change, but the stars in the heaven retain their course, and I know that our Father in Heaven and Jesus Christ, the creator of heaven and earth and all things are, remain in command.
“Time is clearly not our natural dimension. This it is that we are never really at home in time because we belong to eternity. Time, as much as any one thing, whispers that we are strangers here.” Neal A. Maxwell.
Treasure your time, value it, use it wisely. Much will come from very little effort if we slow down, observe and see.
How will you choose to use your time allotment today?

Improving!

“Wees niet bang om fouten te maken, iedereen die een nieuwe taal leert, maakt fouten!”

In other words, don’t be afraid to make mistakes, anyone who learns a new language makes mistakes!

After a few months in the Netherlands, words to that affect frequently run through my mind.

That said however, I had a funny experience at Schiphol Airport last week, whilst picking up the new arriving missionaries.

Whilst Monic and I, along with Elder Ornelas were waiting for the final missionary to arrive at Gate 2, I was approached by a complete stranger, looking for directions to the other arrival gates 3 & 4.

Having just come from gate 3, I gave him the directions in my best Dutch, pointing at the same time…

“Ga rechtdoor, dan rechtsaf, 100 meter rechtdoor en dan is het aan u rechterhand”

He thanked me and then headed off in that direction.

I turned back to Monic and Elder Ornelas, and it struck me that this was very similar to that moment when Elder Calhoun in the movie “The Best Two Years” directed a complete stranger at the railway station.  For those of you who have seen the movie, you will recall that precise moment.  If you haven’t see the movie – then watch it, it has to be one of the best movies about life in the mission field.

We laughed together as we talked about the movie and Elder Calhoun!

In that moment, I realised without thinking that my Dutch is improving!!

What is improving for you right now, that you may not have noticed?

Curiosity

Out for a walk in the Scheveningse Bosjes yesterday, “that’s an unusual looking dog” we said to each other.
It looked a little bit like a labradoodle.
Curiously we asked the lady walking her dog’s “what kind of dog is that one?”
“He’s a curly haired retriever” she said.
We’d never heard or seen that breed before.
Many curious questions followed, and the conversation flowed easily.
Curiosity was driving our questioning.
Curiosity – “A strong desire to know or learn something.”
Curiosity is a genuine spirit of open enquiry, mixed with a keen desire to learn, all of which is centred upon a willingness to discover new things.
Prior to serving here in the Netherlands as missionaries, genuine curiosity, was an essential part of my coaching practice.
Frequently we learn by simply being curious like a child.
Yesterday, curiosity was driving our questions to the lady about her dog. Subsequently, I researched a little more about the breed.
In a similar manner, many people often ask us questions about our church service here in the Netherlands.
• Why are you here?
• What do you actually do?
• How long do you serve?
• What is the Book of Mormon?
• Do you believe in Jesus Christ?
• What does your church believe about life after death?
• Why do you build Temples?
All these are great questions driven by curiosity.
So – what are you curious about?
If you’d like to find some answers to these questions or more, simply pm me. I’ll be happy to answer any genuinely curious question about our faith and service in Belgium and the Netherlands. 😊
PS – post mission life, this may be the type of dog we’ll be looking for!! 😉

Customs

Do you have any customs or habits in your country that communicate information in an unusual way?
A few weeks ago, whilst up in Leeuwarden, we discovered one about the Netherlands and had absolutely no idea what it was!
It was 12 noon on the first Monday of November, and we heard a very loud wailing siren which went off for a minute or two.
We thought it was some kind of huge factory siren, informing the workforce it was the lunch hour!
As it continued, it became a little disconcerting.
However, we needn’t have concerned ourselves too much.
A little bit of further research informed us that it was actually the Dutch emergency siren test.
It certainly caught our attention the first time we heard it.
Now we understand that it is a regular monthly test that lasts for approximately 90 seconds. All 3,800 emergency sirens throughout the Netherlands are set off simultaneously.
I also received a text message this month, which I am guessing is also some kind of test.
The monthly emergency siren test is a normal part of daily Dutch life.
It reminded me of the one o’clock gun, back home at Edinburgh Castle, which is now great for tourists.
In the late 1800’s it was an important part of aligning ships chronometers in the Firth of Forth.
Each of these customs form an important part of the structure and foundation of our societies. In some ways they provide constancy, stability, familiarity and a semblance of order and predictability to our existence and our community.
We communicate in lots of different ways.
What unusual customs do you have where you live?

What lies within us….

I love quotes! They are insightful, oftentimes intriguing and on many occasions inspiring! I found one such quote a few weeks ago now and posted it on my personal Facebook page. “What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.”

The words have rung in my ears for weeks now. I’ve searched to identify who the quote was attributed to and have found some evidence that it was possibly originated by Ralph Waldo Emerson.

An extended version appeared in the 1990’s attributed to Henry David Thoreau, who states “What lies before us and what lies behind us are small matters compared to what lies within us. And when we bring what is within out into the world, miracles happen.”

No matter who it is attributed to, it is a powerful, insightful and thought provoking statement about the power that lies within each of us, to rise above the various storms of life and succeed in whatever we choose to do with our time upon the earth.

A Pearl

As I reflected upon the quote, I was reminded of the story of a pearl. A pearl develops from an irritant that gets inside the shell of an oyster, such as a grain of sand. The oyster then produces a special substance, that surrounds the foreign matter and over several years it forms a beautiful pearl. Every oyster produces a different form of pearl and similarly I believe that every irritation within each of us, can produce different results in our own lives – all of which have the capacity, over time to become beautiful pearls. We simply have to recognise those irritants, act upon them, desire to change and watch as they emerge as powerful strengths.

I love this old parable told by J. Thomas Fyans: “There’s an ancient oriental legend that tells the story of a jeweller who had a precious pearl he wanted to sell. In order to place this pearl in the proper setting, he conceived the idea of building a special box of the finest woods to contain the pearl. He sought these woods and had them brought to him, and they were polished to a high brilliance. He then reinforced the corners of this box with elegant brass hinges and added a red velvet interior. As a final step, he scented that red velvet with perfume, then placed in that setting this precious pearl.

The pearl was then placed in the store window of the jeweller, and after a short period of time, a rich man came by. He was attracted by what he saw and sat down with the jeweller to negotiate a purchase. The jeweller soon realised that the man was negotiating for the box rather than the pearl. You see, the man was so overcome by the beauty of the exterior that he failed to see the pearl of great price”

Lesson Learned

And so it is with each of us. Lets not be deceived by the beauty that lies around us, but take a long, long, hard look at what lies within us. We all need to slow down, pause in our busy lives and take much more time to reflect upon those things that really do matter most. Self reflection and its reward of self awareness are critical elements of personal development and leadership in homes, in our communities and in our business organisations.

My invitation is to stop today! Now even! Even if its just for 5 minutes. Reflect upon those things that matter most and bring what is within you, out into the world…. today! Write them down too! You may well be truly surprised and inspired by the pearls you have been blessed with. *Henry B. Eyring stated “Someday, when you know who you really are, you will be sorry that you didn’t use your time better”.

What’s in a name?

Missionary coaching interviews – our favourite time as mission leaders!
It has been a busy week, filled with lots of interviews in Rotterdam.
Another missionary coaching interview session was drawing to a close.
After being reassigned from the Missouri Independence Mission, this was the first time the young sister missionary and I had met together.
Like the many other coaching interviews that day, we’d shared lots of insights together, but as usual, time had passed by too quickly for us.
It was time to close out the session, and I thanked the young sister missionary for her hard work, and wished her every success in the weeks ahead, until we met again.
We got down on our knees to close our session in prayer.
I started the prayer, sharing a few thoughts and expressing gratitude to Sister Jorgensen for her efforts in the mission since her arrival here, only a few short weeks ago. I mentioned her name again…
….And then it happened!
“𝑰𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝑺𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝑱𝒐𝒓𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒔𝒆𝒏 𝒐𝒓 𝒏𝒐𝒕?” I thought….
In that moment, I couldn’t remember – I certainly wasn’t sure!!!
Thinking further to myself – “I am sure it is…..but what if it isn’t?”
….“Perhaps I should check…?”
I stopped speaking.
I moved around a little, uncomfortable at my realisation, and opened my eyes, to check her nametag.
At that moment, realising that something wasn’t quite right, she too, opened her eyes.
Looking at each other, smiling, it was in fact 𝑺𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝑹𝒆𝒚𝒏𝒐𝒍𝒅𝒔!
We laughed.
We laughed again (a little harder).
It was just so funny.
Somehow – we managed to compose ourselves and I finished offering a prayer.
I don’t think either of us will ever forget those memorable seconds in laughter…
It was just so silly and yet so special, I’m sure it’ll connect the two of us together to that moment – forever!
I won’t ever forget Sister Jorgensen (oops) Sister Reynolds name ever again!!!! 😊
Have you ever made a silly mistake?

Measuring Progress

How do you measure your progress?
….It’s just gone 6.50am and I am doing good!
One of my favourite Christmas presents is my water bottle.
It allows me to measure the amount of water I drink, by the hour, throughout the entire day.
No more counting glasses for me…
With this I can see the progress I am making to achieve my daily 2 litre goal.
I love it!!
It is a SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Targeted) way of setting a daily goal.
The first step to measure progress is to set a goal…
There is however little point in setting a goal if you will never know whether you were successful or not.
To determine the level of success, you must be able to measure your progress.
When you measure your progress, you see exactly how you are getting along, which in turn can act as a great motivator for you to stick with something.
In my experience, the fact that you are making progress will give you the drive and energy to stick with the goal.
How do you measure your progress with your personal goals?

Overloaded?

Last Sunday, we decided to gourmet with the missionaries for dinner.
Elder Austin had never had dinner in quite this way before, and as Kyle and Cristi were still here, we thought it was a good idea to set it all up. It was New Year after all.
We got everything organised, with two grills on the table, meat, sauces, breads, plates, cutlery, glasses, extension cables etc.
Then we plugged in the grills.
Suddenly, the house was in darkness.
We’d blown a fuse!
A trip to the fuse box, showed that the circuit was broken, and the switch had tripped.
I tried to reset it, but it wouldn’t reset.
The two grills were plugged into one socket. Hmm, “too overloaded” we thought.
We then put the grills into separate sockets and tried to reset the switch.
This time it worked, the lights came back on, and we had a lovely evening of gourmet together.
𝑫𝒐 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒃𝒍𝒐𝒘 𝒂 𝒇𝒖𝒔𝒆 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆𝒔 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒐𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒅?
In a similar manner, sometimes, when circumstances in our life demand more of us than we feel we can give, we can feel overloaded.
Just like the fuse box in our homes however, we also have some built in safety factors in our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual state that help us to ensure that we don’t overload.
Each of us have more built-in strength than we suppose.
Frequently, we must slow down, reappraise, readjust, rewire and consider what really matters most.
In that regard, Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf said, a person’s relationship with God is most sacred and vital. “As we seek Him, as we learn of His son Jesus Christ, as we open our hearts to the influence of the Holy Ghost, our lives become more stable and secure.”
I know that it is through coming unto Christ, that will bring you peace, stability, security and He will become the source of an uninterruptible source of constant power in your life.
What switch do you need to flick?

Enjoying the Moment

Recently I was asked, “How can you be really present and enjoy the very moment you are experiencing?”
My mind flashed back to a professional development event I attended in St. Andrews a few years ago, when I was introduced to mindfulness with a single raisin!
In this well-known mindfulness exercise, participants start to experience this feeling of being “present” for themselves by taking ten to fifteen minutes to eat a single raisin.
It requires you to focus your mind on the present moment using all your senses – what you can see, hear, smell, taste and touch.

The exercise

Sitting in a circle, and our teacher gave each of us a single raisin.
Taking a moment, I got comfy in my chair…
– I held the raisin in my hand.
– Looking at it, I saw the different colours, light and ridges on the raisin.
– Closing my eyes, I felt the smallness of the raisin, it’s softness and its waxy texture.
– I brought it close to my nose to smell the raisin, concentrating on any scents or aromas I could detect.
– Next, I placed the raisin in my mouth and on my tongue. Without chewing, I noticed the sensation of having it on my tongue.
– Taking a bite of this tiny raisin, I tasted the sensations in my mouth. The smaller pieces of the raisin felt different.
– I listened and heard the sound as I chewed.
– I detected the intention to swallow starting to build and then decided to swallow it.
– Finally, I tracked the sensation of the raisin going into my tummy.
A simple little exercise to help us slow down.
How many moments do we miss with our spouses, our children, our parents, friends and colleagues, because we’re too busy rushing forward with our own always so very important tasks that need to get done?
We get so busy that we forget about seeing or ministering to the one, until we catch ourselves, or someone helps us once again to refocus.
Is it time for you to come back, slow down and refocus?
Taking time to enjoy one little raisin, may just help you and I to refocus on that one thing we need to do today.
What is your “one thing you will do today?”