Conversations Matter

Yesterday, for a while Monic and I sat in conversation together.
Conversation: “a talk, especially an informal one, between two or more people, in which news and ideas are exchanged.”
In our conversations, we notice how we express our ideas and yet regularly we still misunderstand one another’s meaning.
Frequently, we repeat ourselves, ask questions, slow down and clarify, 𝒃𝒆𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒆 we fully understand.
My coaching career has taught me that when we concentrate fully on a conversation, consider the content, and demonstrate an understanding of the message, the person on the other side always feels valued.
Have you experienced that?
Recently in our missionary zone conferences, we learned how to approach dialogue from a point of engagement and connection that leads to more creative problem-solving, perspective and ultimately stronger relationships.
We learned that conversations evoke emotions, they form a bond between you and others, and can make or break any first impression.
After all, conversations are the lifeblood of all relationships – right?

A Conversation

I love this painting “A Conversation with the Master” by Nathan Florence.
The painting depicts a woman walking alongside Jesus, in a purposeful conversation.
She is doing the lion’s share of the talking, while he is listening thoughtfully.
She is animated about something, whilst his compassion unruffles any undue concern.
Perhaps they have wandered for a while in the beautiful countryside.
His focus is completely on her.
He does not heal her with his touch.
Rather, He is listening deeply and accompanying her on their journey together.
He walked, talked, listened, smiled, encouraged, and made time for her.
Listening, guided by love, is one of the greatest gifts we can give one another.
Perhaps we can all be a bit more like Jesus and listen more deeply to one another.
In your next conversation, take some time to find the most authentic words to explain your thoughts and feelings, slow down and be a little more vulnerable.
I hope that we can all enjoy deep and meaningful conversations with one another.
What did it feel like when you last had a really good conversation?

Self-reflection

Daily, I consciously make time for self-reflection.
It has been a life long practice.
Life is much more fruitful when I take some time to check in with myself!
Paradoxically, looking inwards, helps me to look outwards.
It brings perspective to your life.
Reflection requires courage.
As you look in the mirror of self-reflection, consider these questions:
Am I using my time wisely?
Am I living true to myself?
What surprised me today?
What am I doing about the things that matter most in my life? What do I need to change about myself?
What mistakes did I make today and what did I learn?
Have I made someone smile today?
It is so easy to get caught up in the daily vicissitudes of life.
Self-reflection is the key to help you understand what you stand for, what your values are, and in essence what matters most.
A time to consider your behaviour, your goals and whether you are on track.
The practice is all about learning, looking back on the day in order to contemplate your behaviour and its consequences.
It requires time to sit with yourself and take an honest moment to think about what emerged, what worked, what didn’t, what can be done, and what can’t.
Daily journaling is a great tool to enable you to capture your reflections.
I believe that the more self-reflective you are the easier it becomes to make choices in line with your values.
Self-reflection has been shown to significantly improve learning and performance.
The more aware you of your choices and their impact, then the better the decisions will be that you make now and in the future.
Take time to self-reflect – daily!

Seekers Wanted

As a child, I often played hide-n-seek.
Hide-n-seek was a favourite game to play with our own children, especially in holiday homes, with so many fun places to hide.
Turning the lights off at night and hiding in the dark was always a riot.
Remember counting to 10, then shouting “Here I come, ready or not!?”
𝐒𝐞𝐞𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 to find someone in the dark with a torch light was such fun!
The word 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐤 means to go in search of, try to discover, try to acquire, with energy, direction, passion, and purpose. And that was always the case with hide-n-seek!
𝐒𝐞𝐞𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 implies so much more than merely looking.
𝐒𝐞𝐞𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 is always more of a journey, than any single event.
And on any journey, there are always many peaks and valleys.
I encounter many in the world looking for answers to the question that Jesus asked in the New Testament, “What 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐤 ye?” – John 1:38
How would you answer Jesus’ question?

Are you 𝒔𝒆𝒆𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 something?

Money, wealth, a job, success, a good reputation, happiness, security, comfort?
Like many things in life, success, money, security, are fleeting, elusive, often uncertain and anything but guaranteed.
Are you scrambling in the dark?
Where are you 𝒔𝒆𝒆𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 with your torchlight in hand?
In their response to Jesus, the disciples responded by saying they were not 𝒔𝒆𝒆𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 something, but rather 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞.
They were 𝒔𝒆𝒆𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 the Messiah.
The disciples weren’t the only 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐤𝐞𝐫𝐬 that day.
Jesus Christ too, was and is a 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐤𝐞𝐫.
He too is looking for disciples to follow Him, two millennia ago and today.
Real happiness does not come from 𝒔𝒆𝒆𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 things; it comes from 𝒔𝒆𝒆𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 Jesus.
As you 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐤 for Jesus Christ, you’ll recognise too, that He is 𝒔𝒆𝒆𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 you.
His light is far more powerful than your torchlight.
Daily, honest 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐤𝐞𝐫𝐬 of truth find an answer to the question, “What 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐤 ye” through missionaries from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
And you can too.
What 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐤 ye?

𝐎𝐛𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 – the key that opens every door.

“𝐎𝐛𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 is the key that opens every door.” – C.S. Lewis
Yet, 𝒐𝒃𝒆𝒅𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒆 is not a positive word these days.
Generally, I have found the Dutch (and I love them) do not want anyone telling them what to do!
𝐎𝐛𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞: “compliance with an order, request, or law or submission to another’s authority.”
From Antwerp to Utrecht, over the last couple of days – I’ve shared a quote from Boyd K. Packer that states “𝐎𝐛𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 is a powerful spiritual medicine. It comes close to being a cure-all.”
From “every door” to “cure-all.”
I want some of that.
Do you?
This is an exciting time to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
And even more so to serve as a full time missionary.
We are blessed to able to serve day in, day out with approximately 120 voluntary missionaries here in Belgium and the Netherlands.
They are remarkable.
Each of them has an obedient heart.

𝐎𝐛𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 is a principle of discipline, choice, and trust.

Learning of it, with exactness in our youth is “powerful spiritual medicine” that can and does act as a guide for each of them as they chart their journey through life.
“If you want to learn to fly an aeroplane, learn and follow the laws that govern gravity.
If you want to operate on the human heart, learn and follow the laws that govern the human body.
If you want to be happy, learn and keep the commandments.
It becomes a rather simple formula” – said Russell M. Nelson.
For your journey through life, one of the first things you need to know is this…
“There is a law, irrevocably decreed in heaven before the foundations of this world, upon which all blessings are predicated.
And when we obtain any blessing from God, it is by 𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 to that law upon which it is predicated. (Doctrine & Covenants 130:20–21)
Please ponder that thought.
It states unmistakably the fact that there are principles upon which promises are predicated, and that obedience is the key to receiving blessings.
My experience is this – 𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 with exactness, always brings safety and inner peace.
I hope that each of us will choose to follow the simple formula of 𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 throughout our life.

Jump in!

Did you dip your toes in the water a little?
OR
Did you jump in at the deep end?
Which metaphor describes your 2022?
What did you do particularly well?
𝑾𝒆𝒍𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒕𝒐 2023
As each year passes by, we never stay the same.
𝐖𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐰, 𝐰𝐞 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐧, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞.
Truth beknown, I learned last year that you can’t deliver your best work if you’re not energised!
I chose to jump in at the deep end and rediscovered the of power napping!
It’s been great!
It has reawakened a host of benefits for me.
I was keen to change and be reenergised!
I witnessed, time and time again many others who changed in a much more significant way.
There were many that I encountered who were seeking to change who met with our missionaries.
Many decided to jump in and become members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
It changed their whole life.
They too have been re-energised!
It has been a real joy to become acquainted with them.
Like many hundreds of thousands before them, they chose to dip their toes in a little to start with, and then decided to jump in!
Happiness often springs from small and unexpected sources.
You will find it in abundance as you choose to follow Jesus Christ this year.
That’s the message I would like to share with you as we start 2023…
All over the world in 2022, missionaries were life savers for thousands of others – just like you.
I look forward to becoming acquainted with you too.
Why not dip your toes in to start with?

Or better still, choose to jump in at the deep end! 😊

Either way, it’ll be the best decision you make this year.

Time is Life

𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐋𝐢𝐟𝐞.

It is irreversible and irreplaceable.

This year has been very different from others gone by.

For the last 10 years, I’d coach circa 15 people one on one, and have around 100 – 200, sixty-to-ninety-minute coaching conversations a year, in amongst my many other professional activities.

This year, I’ve coached circa 150 people one on one, and have had around 1000 – 1200, twenty-to-forty-minute coaching conversations, in amongst my many other missionary activities.

It’s been a little busier, very different, more intensive and a little more tiring too!

However, I absolutely love it!

In amongst all of those coaching conversations, there have been many incredible discoveries made.
Amongst the many coaching techniques, I frequently use, is a very simple one, it’s akin to judo.

The word judo consists of two Japanese characters, ju, which means “gentle”, and do, which means “the way”.

Judo, therefore, literally means the gentle way.

I did say it was simple!

This is the model.

• Invite them to share their story
• Ask questions, to create curiosity and to explore their journey.
• Share a personal story as an alternative view.
• Review – what can I do better?

As you review 2022 and reflect upon all that has gone by, perhaps you can ask yourself this question too…

“What could I have done better?”

Treasures

“And when they were come into the house, they saw the young child with Mary his mother, and fell down, and worshipped him: and when they had opened their treasures, they presented unto him gifts; gold, and frankincense, and myrrh.” – Matthew 2:11
Gold – because Christ is simply, the King of Kings.
Frankincense – used as medicine, because Christ came to Heal all of us.
Myrrh – used at burials, because Christ came to die for all of us.
Perhaps it is time for all of us, to acknowledge Him as our King, our Healer and our Saviour this Christmas day.
Three gifts.
What gift will you choose to offer Him?

Three Gifts

𝓣𝓱𝓻𝓮𝓮 𝓖𝓲𝓯𝓽𝓼…
Our missionaries have been very busy this week.
There has been lots and lots of service in the community.
And, in addition, at Christmas market’s, town squares and on many a street corner throughout Belgium and the Netherlands, missionaries have given away thousands upon thousands of gifts.
Greeting so many, the message is simple “𝓜𝓮𝓻𝓻𝔂 𝓒𝓱𝓻𝓲𝓼𝓽𝓶𝓪𝓼”
We’re not talking about the latest Red/Blue Nintendo Switch for son, the Barbie Extra Deluxe for daughter, the beautiful new necklace and flowers for mum or the special new jumper and tie for dad.
No, none of those.
Set those and the many other gifts galore aside.
We didn’t even give away any gold, frankincense or myrrh.
Remember, the gold points to Jesus’ royalty, the frankincense to his divinity, and the myrrh to his humanity.
All of which we honour and respect.
Rather consider the little gifts we did giveaway.
Three little chocolate hearts filled with only one thing – 𝓵𝓸𝓿𝓮.
Through it all, there is perhaps one common denominator for Christmas – it is 𝓵𝓸𝓿𝓮…
“God be thanked for loving us enough to send His Only Begotten Son. Jesus Christ changed the world for each of us with His atoning sacrifice. He is the light of the world. He is the light we need to hold up. He is the light that fills us with good will toward all people.” Russell M. Nelson
We hope amid all the hustle and bustle of gifts and gatherings, you will let your life reflect the 𝓵𝓲𝓰𝓱𝓽 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓵𝓸𝓿𝓮 of Jesus Christ this Christmas time.
Merry Christmas dear friends.

Welcome Back

𝑾𝒆𝒍𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝑩𝒂𝒄𝒌!
It seemed as if it was only yesterday that Melanie Coates was departing for home from her mission.
That was back in July already.
“Growing apart doesn’t change the fact that for a long time we grew side by side; our roots will always be tangled. I’m glad for that.” — Ally Condie
It was an absolute delight to have her visit briefly with her sister Emma this week and to catch up again.
We loved to reminisce, share stories, smile, and laugh – a lot.
Friendships are so important.
Our time together reminded me of this little poem entitled True Friend by Ashley Campbell.
“A friend is like a star that twinkles and glows
Or maybe like the ocean that gently flows.
A friend is like gold that you should treasure
And take care of forever and ever.
A friend is like an angel that is there to guide you.
A friend is someone you can trust out of a few.
A friend is more than one in a million.
They are one in a ca-zillion,
And you, my friend, are very special
and so it is official.”
Good friends are a little like stars, you may not always see them, but you know they are there!
Stay safe my dear friend – until we meet again.
What kind of friend are you?

All In

Ａｌｌ Ｉｎ
This weekend marks a significant date in our calendar.
We arrived in the Netherlands 18 months ago, and it means we are now halfway through our missionary service.
Half-way, already…!
Reflecting this morning, I thought about the term half-way.
Half-way: “at or to a point midway between two others.”
It suggests to my mind its time to take a break.
However – it’s a term that sits a little uncomfortably with me.
We’re not quite ready for a break as yet.
We’re not lukewarm about our assignment.
We’re not partially committed about our time here.
We’re not complacent about the things we do.
We don’t hold back.
Neither Monic, nor I do things by half.
Rather – we’re 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐢𝐧.
Recently, we enjoyed listening to a podcast entitled “What does it mean to you to be all in the gospel of Jesus Christ?”
One of my immediate thoughts was about my father.
Today was his birthday.
Had he been still alive, he’d have been 95.
He so longed to reach 100.
Dad was a great example of being “all in” to the gospel of Jesus Christ.
His life of selfless service was a powerful personal testimony of that fact.
Dad died loving the gospel and tried to live it to the very end of his days on earth.
“Giant Jacky” as he was affectionately known, may have been small in physical in stature, but huge in spiritual strength.
Like my dad was and as my mum still is – we are all in.
Who is a great example of being “all-in?”
What does it mean to be “all-in?”
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