Shoulder to Shoulder

Life is complex and human beings are complex.
In my lifetime, I’ve had the privilege of working with people from all walks of life and from a host of different nations and cultures.
Subsequently, in the various professional and voluntary roles I’ve enjoyed, I am a witness to the happiness and joy life can bring for many, along with the problems and challenges that come along too.
In so many ways, our life can be good, great even – and then in an instant, it can be filled with disappointment, grief, anguish, misery and pain.
There is one thing I know for sure, and that is life will intermittently bring challenges to each and every one of us, arriving when we least expect them, in good times or bad.
We all experience difficult times in our lives, and then we must endure for a while.
Yet, in the trials, there are frequently many opportunities for growth and learning.

Coaching and Leadership

That’s where coaching and leadership come in.
As John Wooden said, “A good coach can change a game, a great coach can change a life.”
I’ve seen this in action countless times, not just on playing fields, but in workplaces, communities, congregations, and moments of personal crisis.
One of my most vivid memories was sitting quietly by a dear friend’s side in hospital.
I didn’t have the right words, and maybe there weren’t any.
But I listened. I was present.
And in the stillness, they turned to me and said, “Thanks for being here, you give me confidence.”
That moment reminded me that leadership isn’t always about grand gestures, rather, it’s often about showing up, holding space, and helping others believe in their own strength.
Coaching is about helping people find clarity in the fog, and strength they didn’t know they had.
Leadership is about creating an environment where people can thrive, even when the road is rough.
While we can’t always control what happens, we can control how we respond and with the right support, people are capable of amazing resilience.
Life’s challenges are inevitable.
But with guidance, encouragement, and shared purpose, they can become the very stepping stones that carry us to our next best chapter.
Who in your life right now might be waiting for you to simply show up, listen, and help them believe in their own strength?

A 400-year leap

One of my favourite ways to start a learning session is with an icebreaker I call “A conversation with a Time Traveller.”
Two people pair up: one plays someone from the early 1600s, the other plays a modern-day person, it’s like having a conversation with one of your ancestors.
The 2025 partner’s job is to choose something the 1600s person wouldn’t recognise.
Something like a smartphone, Netflix, or a drive-thru, and then try to explain it in a way they can grasp.
The fun comes from realising how hard it is to describe something so normal to us, yet so weird to them.
It’s a reminder that things and our understanding of them, can change dramatically over time.
The same is true with the gospel of Jesus Christ.
The scriptures often speak to people in the language and symbols of their day.
For instance, a shepherd, a fisherman, a farmer in ancient times would hear parables, yet only to those spiritually ready, were revealed the mysteries of the kingdom of heaven.
Concerning the parables of Jesus, Howard W. Hunter said: “They are so simple a child can understand, yet profound enough for the sage and philosopher.”

Our Understanding Today

That was true for someone living in the 1600s, and in our digital world of today.
Those same teachings sometimes require a new frame of reference for us to truly understand.
Jesus promised that the Spirit would “guide you into all truth” (John 16:13).
I know that God meets us where we are and teaches us in ways we can truly understand.
In our time in Belgium and the Netherlands, I saw many young missionaries learn to speak to people from different cultures and in many different languages, as they slowed down to understand.
In the same way, we can learn to share the gospel in ways that make sense to others, no matter how different their “world” may be from ours.
It starts by listening first, seeing through their eyes, hearing with their ears, and understanding their questions, as if we were in their shoes, before we even speak.
Just like in the icebreaker, it takes patience, creativity, and a willingness to see through someone else’s perspective.
The gospel never changes, but the way we understand and share it must speak the language of the listener – whether they come from the 1600s, the 21st century, or anywhere in between.
How might you prepare today to better connect with the “time travellers” you meet tomorrow?

Doorstep Deals

The doorbell rang.
A stranger stood there offering milk delivery.
I replied “we don’t use milk, rather oat milk” …
Thinking that would be the end of it.
He paused.
Smiled.
Then said, “we deliver that too.”
A minute or two later I signed up.
And now twice a week, a glass bottle of oat milk appears on our doorstep.
No plastic, no fuss, just a thick, creamy bottle of local oat milk that tastes better than anything off the supermarket shelf.
It’s a small, nostalgic thing, that takes me back to my youth and hearing the clinking of bottles in the early morning.
Back to when the milkman was part of everyday streel life, quiet, consistent and reliable.
And now, in 2025, it’s happening again, only this time, it’s oat milk!
And here is the sales leadership lesson.
In the moment I positioned my “no” statement…
He listened, adapted and offered something I actually needed.
Just a person, building trust, one doorstep at a time.
This oat milk delivery isn’t just convenient; it’s a small reminder that progress doesn’t have to mean forgetting the past.
I’m off to put out my empties…
What old idea might you bring back, and do better?

The Oscar Shift

On Saturday, Monic and I headed to Glasgow bright and early for a very special first: our first all-day grandparent babysitting assignment – a full 12 hours!
A whole day with Oscar, something we’d both been looking forward to with excitement (and maybe a touch of nervous anticipation too).
From the moment we stepped through the door, it was full-on Oscar time.
Playing, singing, reading, pushing him in his pram, feeding him (yoghurt was a clear favourite), changing nappies, carrying him around, and watching him explore the world from the speed and freedom of his walker.
He’s not crawling or walking yet, but that didn’t stop him from finding his way into every corner of every room.
Somehow the cat litter tin storage box was his favourite thing to get into!
There must have been something about the lid and the noise it made every time he dropped it on the floor…😁
He was in great spirits all day, smiling constantly, curious about everything.
That said, we really enjoyed the short reprieves during each nap time to catch our breath. 😴
By the time we returned home, we were surprised at just how tired we felt – exhausted!
I was deadbeat.

Life Lessons

After reflecting, we realised it wasn’t simply the physical busyness, rather, it was the constant alertness.
We were on guard the entire day, watching for hazards, anticipating needs, and making sure every moment, he was safe and happy.
It’s the kind of attention that takes energy.
And it got me thinking, that this is true far beyond babysitting.
In family life, leadership, coaching, mentoring, or any relationship where we care deeply, real commitment isn’t passive.
It’s active.
It means staying engaged, noticing small signals, and anticipating the next step before it becomes a crisis.
Being “on guard” isn’t about fear, it’s much more about caring, being ready, and fully present.
Where in your life right now would greater alertness make the biggest difference?

The Crazy Zone

Coming home from a mission can be a disorienting time – that’s because you’re certainly not the same person who left.
Words like weird, unsettled, strange, challenging, and hard come up in nearly every conversation I have with returned missionaries.
And after 200+ coaching conversations in recent months, I can say one thing for sure, you’re just in the neutral zone.
In my experiences, there is nothing so unchanging, so inevitable as change itself.
Yet, we can confuse change with transition. Change is external – it’s coming home, starting school, getting a job, seeing family and friends. Transition is internal. It’s what your mind and heart go through as you adjust to the new reality.
One of the best frameworks I use in coaching is William Bridges’ Transition Model, which breaks transition into three stages:
1. 𝐄𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 – Letting go of what was.
2. 𝐍𝐞𝐮𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐥 𝐙𝐨𝐧𝐞 – The in-between, uncertain, disoriented time.
3. 𝐍𝐞𝐰 𝐁𝐞𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 – When the new identity and rhythm take shape.
In many recent conversations, I’ve found a few returned missionaries stuck in the neutral zone, oftentimes called the crazy zone.
You don’t feel fully part of your mission anymore, but you’re not fully settled back into life at home either.
Remember, “It must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things.” – 2 Nephi 2:11
It’s a strange in-between space where routines are missing, identity feels unclear, and emotions can be all over the place.
At times, this zone can apply to each of us, and it isn’t failure, rather it’s new growth!
This is the real path of transformation and sometimes it will feel up hill, slow, or like you’re even going backward.
Life can be like a series of hills and valleys, and yet I know that the best growth often comes in the valleys.
It’s important to hold on to your anchor habits that grounded you during your mission:
• 𝐏𝐫𝐚𝐲𝐞𝐫 – You still have your direct line to the Lord, so use it.
• 𝐒𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐝𝐲 – Insights will often come in small, daily doses.
• 𝐒𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐜𝐞 – Shifting focus from yourself to others will help
• 𝐆𝐨𝐚𝐥 𝐬𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 – You can still set inspired goals.
You don’t need to live your daily mission schedule – but you can continue your routines.
Yes, there is pain in the transition period, but it will not last forever – patience, love, and long-suffering are needed.
What small habit is helping you stay anchored right now?

The Power of Networking

A few days ago, out of the blue I received a message on LinkedIn…
“It’s great to meet you. I’m a friend of Brian J. Grim and he mentioned your name to me when I told him I’ll be visiting Scotland. I’ll be visiting the Dundee area this weekend!”
That was the beginning of my association with Robert.
He simply reached out.
We had a few back n forward messages on LinkedIn and established that due to various meeting commitments we could meet for lunch in Edinburgh.
We’d never met before in our life, yet we had so many mutual connections, shared interests and values, it just felt like a good idea to sit down and chat!
And I’m glad we did.
We met up a couple of days ago.
It was extremely uncanny about our life’s similarities, personal interests and general like-mindedness!
We talked about everything from social media, BYU, religious freedom, faith, coaching, leadership, goal setting, career development, and a whole host of personal friends and professional colleagues in our network.
We enjoyed our 90-minute conversation together so much, we determined to keep in touch.
And what is the lesson?
Don’t underestimate the value of reaching out—or saying yes when someone else does.
Just one single message can spark a connection that grows into something meaningful.
In today’s world, relationships and networking are crucial.
Networking can and does open doors.
Take the time to connect.
It has been my experience that the true value of networking lies in the quality of relationships rather than in the number of connections we might have.
Ideas and opportunities arise in our conversations every day and spread through people so quickly now.
And all of it – support, insight, inspiration, often begins with a simple hello and someone reaching out.
Its been my experience that you just never know where a single connection might lead.
That is the power of networking.
Who’s someone you’ve been meaning to reach out to?

The Senior Discount Advantage

A few weeks ago, I officially joined the “Golden Club.”
I turned 60, and in Scotland, that comes with a rather wonderful perk: a free bus pass!
That’s right, I can now roam the length and breadth of Scotland, without spending a single penny on a bus fare.
Edinburgh? Free. Inverness? Free. Fort William? …. Free!
Now, to be honest, I didn’t rush to use it.
Something about showing my bus pass, made me hesitate for a wee while.
Plus, my loving family and friends didn’t hold back with their gentle mockery, sniggers and raised eyebrows!
But, once I actually used the pass, I realised this wasn’t a sign of aging, rather, it was a badge of wisdom.
Of earned perspective and of strategic advantage.
Throughout my career I have done my fare share of driving with company cars aplenty, even hitting some 60,000 miles a year in some of my early sales jobs.
But now, at 60 I’ve earned the right to climb aboard, to let someone else do the driving and instead enjoy the journey even more.
I’m just as happy standing at a quiet bus stop, letting the world slow down for a minute, and remembering that not every journey needs to be rushed.
The pass may be free, but there is one priceless lesson: you don’t have to drive everything.
In my coaching and leadership practice, that’s half the battle, knowing when to take the wheel, and when to sit back and let the journey unfold.
There’s also something just plain old good fun and humbling about taking the bus.
So yes, I’m 60. And if that makes me “old,” then so be it.
I’ve traded life’s hustle and bustle for clarity, swapping out acceleration for direction.
And I’ve got a pass that proves I’ve arrived and can still go anywhere I want!
Now the real question is – where to next?

A Sure Compass

Just before setting off on my walk along Scotland’s West Highland Way this May with my missionary friends, my brother Paul and his wife Gwen gave me a beautiful gift to mark my 60th birthday: a 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒑𝒂𝒔𝒔, inscribed and deeply personal.
Oftentimes, I’ve carried it with me, not always for navigation, but for what it reminds me of: direction, intention, and trust in something steady.
One of my favourite activities as a facilitator involves asking groups, sometimes 10, 20, or even 100+ people, to stand, close their eyes, and point in the direction of north.
The results are always the same: arms point in every direction.
Some are confident, many are uncertain, and only a few ever get it right.
Then I pull out a compass and show them how quickly truth is revealed when you use the right tool.
I always gift them each a small compass to keep, a simple reminder that knowing where you’re going, starts with knowing what you’re using to guide you.

What tool do you use?

In a similar manner,  I love the words of Marvin J. Ashton:
“…just as a compass is valuable to guide us out of the dense forest, so the gospel points the way as we walk the paths of life.”
There’s something insightful in that comparison.
I know that life can be full of dense forests: uncertainty, doubt, temptation, fear, distraction.
I also know that the gospel of Jesus Christ doesn’t eliminate these things, yet it’s my experience that it helps us move through them without getting lost.
President James E. Faust once said: “The gift of the Holy Ghost is available as a sure guide, as the voice of conscience, and as a moral compass. This guiding compass is personal to each of us. It is unerring. It is unfailing.”
Not perfect circumstances. Not perfect knowledge. But a perfect guide.
I’ve learned that you don’t have to see the whole map if you trust your compass.
Whether you’re navigating the Highlands of Scotland or the hard questions of life, it’s the same principle.
The Spirit points true. The gospel holds steady. And I’ve kept walking.
60 years with the gospel as my guide. I still face storms, but I never face them alone.
As 2 Nephi 32:5 reminds us:
“For behold, again I say unto you that if ye will enter in by the way, and receive the Holy Ghost, it will show unto you all things what ye should do.”
What are you using today to find your way, and is it pointing you to True North?
If you’d like to know more, speak to a member or a missionary of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Help Isn’t Always Easy

Recently, whilst in London, I was coming up the stairs from the underground at Victoria Station.
I saw her, seated quietly, seeking help.
In that moment, I reached into my pocket and gave what little change I had.
It wasn’t planned, it was simply the right thing to do in that moment, a quiet offering to help.
Moments later, as I rushed to sort out my ticket and catch a train to Mitcham, another woman approached me, much faster, louder and demanding money.
I had nothing left to give, yet she insisted.
I apologised and kept walking towards my train, feeling shaken and guilty.
That moment has stayed with me, especially this morning as I have been studying all about charity.
I gave freely at first yet somehow, I felt like I’d failed in the second.
Have you ever experienced something similar?
Reflecting further this morning, I remembered that helping people isn’t always simple.
That has certainly been my experience.
Some needs are gentle through a simple act of kindness, others can feel overwhelming.
Showing love isn’t about trying to please everyone, it’s much more about doing what you can with a willing heart.
“Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.” – 2 Corinthians 9:7
We can’t solve every problem, but to give what we can and to let go of our guilt when our hands are empty.
Sometimes our offering is a coin.
Other times it is a simple act of kindness.
And sometimes we simply have to walk away with nothing else to give.
We give what we can and trust God with the rest.
How do you discern between when to give and when to step back?

Mentoring

One recent Sunday morning, I went over to Edinburgh, to meet with a dear friend and mentor, Ben B. Banks.
I first met Ben in 1987 when he and his wife Susan, were called to serve as leaders of the Scotland Edinburgh Mission (as it was then) of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
I was 22, recently returned from my own mission in London and ready for some direction.
A successful businessman and now General Authority Emeritus, he has served in a host of leadership roles all around the world since his time here in Scotland.
I have always looked up to Ben.
For me, his greatest influence came not from titles or offices, but from his presence, which was always, steady, kind and wise.
Since his time in Scotland all those years ago, I have followed his life with interest.
Over the years, I’ve had the privilege of sitting with him in his home, over meals, and in many church meetings.
In each setting, he’s offered not just counsel, but clarity, along with guidance that always felt both practical and inspired.
This morning, I chose once again to study a number of his talks and devotional addresses available online.
Mentoring, at its core, is about helping someone become more of who they’re meant to be.
It’s not about giving answers but helping others find their own.
Ben was masterful at that.
He never just told people what to do.
Like the best mentors and coaches, he invited reflection, sparked insight, and quietly nudged others toward action.
His storytelling in particular always stood out, always simple, honest, and memorable.
Whether recounting long cycle rides, goal-setting moments, or challenges faced, he made truth come alive.
That’s the power of a good story: it makes ideas stick and principles personal.
His life continues to be a masterclass in kindness, service, and devotion.
I left our meeting feeling renewed and grateful.
Mentors like Ben don’t just shape your path, they shape who you become while walking it.
If you’ve never heard Ben speak, I encourage you to seek out his talks online and listen.
They’ll stay with you.
Who has helped shape your path and how might you pass that gift on to someone else?