Tag Archive for: coaching

What’s your one word?

In a recent virtual learning session, I kicked off with a simple question as a little icebreaker…
“Give me one word to describe how you’re communicating these days.”
Pausing for a moment to consider their responses, words started to appear in the chat box, including some of the following:
Friendly. Rationally. Deeply. Detailed. Concisely. Comprehensively and many more.
Immediately, we were off to a powerful and thoughtful start.
Some participants then chose to explain further why they were communicating in that manner.
They mentioned their tone, their intentions and the impact it was having.
They began to see and understand the impact beyond their words.
New insights about presence, awareness, mindset and leadership came to the fore.
It turned out to be a moment of powerful reflection for everyone.
Each of us communicate in some way or form every day.
Speaking.
Texting.
Writing.
Posting.
And it doesn’t have to be words, more powerful is our body language and the visual clues we send.
Often, it’s the unspoken that lands the loudest, such as, silence, tone and eye contact.
When was the last time you stopped to ask how you’re actually communicating?
In our session, the simple act of naming how we communicate opened the door to group learning, personal insight, and stronger accountability.
So, pause for a second.
What’s your one word?
And more importantly: is it working for you?

Unpredictable, and That’s Okay!

“Help me understand how this works for you?”
That’s a question I’ve used a lot in my coaching practice recently.
Especially when working with minds of all kinds, each one wired differently, each one worthy of being understood on its own terms.
There have been a few sessions where, being honest, I thought, “We didn’t go anywhere today.”
Lately, I’ve been learning to see those moments differently.
What’s changed?
I have been doing a bit of work with clients who are neurodivergent.
Those living with ADHD, Autism, anxiety, or simply a different way of processing the world.
I’ve realised: We always go somewhere.
…It just might not be where I expected, or how I expected to get there!
The pace of any progress is much less linear and far more unpredictable.
I’ve noticed that some clients speak in bursts, that are full of energy, with fast and fragmented thoughts being expressed simultaneously.
It’s often messy!
I hold that space without rushing to fill it or “tidy it up.”
And so, I adapt.
I shift.
I follow their cues.
Listening, observing even more.
I flex.
I slow down.
Interestingly, I’ve also noticed my own routines and habits more closely.
I’m growing curious about the ways my own neurodiverse traits and stress responses show up.
In many ways, it feels like I’m becoming a student again.
I used to think my job as a coach was to guide people to clarity.
But now, I wonder if it’s more about staying curious while they create their own clarity, in their own way, and most importantly, in their own time.
And as they evolve… so do I.
I’m still learning.
Who in your life might need you to slow down, adapt, and simply ask, “Help me understand how this works for you”?

Two Roads to Humility…

It has been an interesting week thus far in my consulting and coaching world.
I’ve encountered one word, several times over – 𝒉𝒖𝒎𝒊𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚.
I’ve worked with different organisations on a number of leadership topics, and yet time and again, our conversations have returned to humility.
Life has taught me that there are two main pathways to humility.

By Choice

Firstly, we can 𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐬𝐞 to be humble.
There comes a time when we each have to pause and acknowledge that things aren’t going the way we’d hoped.
It takes real courage to admit, first to ourselves and then to others, that we’re stuck, unsure, or sometimes even, simply way out of our depth.
Humbling ourselves means choosing to open up rather than pretend we’ve got it all together.
It might look like asking for advice, learning from someone who’s walked a similar path, picking up a book, or reaching out to someone we trust.
It’s a quiet but powerful step: a willingness to grow, rather than go it alone.

By Compulsion

Secondly, we are 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐝 to be humble.
This one can be even tougher, much tougher.
Being humbled often arrives over time, uninvited, through failure, disappointment, or moments when the truth hits home really hard and we realise we’re the ones who got it wrong.
Sometimes even a sense of shame can haunt us for a while.
Its my witness, that it is in those uncomfortable moments that conversely something good can start to happen.
It’s the start of taking ownership, of letting go of pride, and choosing a more sure path.
Though painful, being humbled can become the turning point, where we begin to rebuild more honesty, deeper empathy, and stronger self-respect.
I’ve experienced this in my own life, several times over and it truly is painful.
Research shows, that in the leadership world, when companies hire humble leaders, the whole organisation benefits.
It’s a fact, that leaders who have learned to walk in humility, to be curious, and to engage others collaboratively, are more likely to succeed.
Just think what might happen if we choose to live by this virtue, in our own homes…
Indeed, life is a long lesson in humility!
Which path to humility are you currently walking, and what might change if you chose to take the first step, willingly?

Lighter Hearts, Clearer Minds.

Real change doesn’t usually come all at once.
It comes like water, sometimes in a 𝒔𝒑𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒌𝒍𝒆..
A passing moment.
A small insight.
A gentle nudge of encouragement or an unexpected kindness.
Other times through full 𝒊𝒎𝒎𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒊𝒐𝒏.
Those deeper moments that may require repeated attempts but yet call us to change at a more profound level.
A courageous conversation.
A personal crisis.
A significant realisation.
Both matter.
A sprinkle might be a kind word, a thoughtful question, a moment of silence that invites reflection.
These are small, sacred touches, gentle reminders that growth is possible.
Immersion goes deeper.
It’s the honest heart to heart discussion, the shift in thinking, the willingness to step fully into discomfort and come out changed.
It’s not always easy, but it transforms.
In my coaching work and life, I’ve come to see my purpose this way:
To sprinkle hope.
To immerse in presence.
𝑻𝒐 𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒔 𝒍𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒅𝒔 𝒄𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒆𝒓, 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝑰 𝒈𝒐.
Whether coaching, mentoring, counselling, teaching, listening, or simply being there for someone, I offer what I can: a drop of trust, a wave of clarity, or even a simple whisper of encouragement.
A small adjustment in the way we think about something can bring great change in our thoughts and behaviours.
Change comes drop by drop and other times, it’s a plunge into something much deeper.
But it comes.
“By small and simple things are great things brought to pass.” – Alma 37:6
What are the sprinkles you offer to others?

The Depth of Feeling

Life is full of transitions.
Some are joyous, others heart-wrenching.
Returning home from Belgium and the Netherlands nearly 9 months ago now, frequently, I’ve reflected on the deep emotions that often accompany such changes.
Many missionaries experience this upon returning home, facing an unexpected void where purpose once thrived.
Having coached and counselled literally hundreds of these missionaries, and many others professionally too, through difficult challenges and change, I have seen firsthand the power of deep, genuine emotion.
The depth of those feelings intensifies further in moments of crisis, an injury to a loved one, the loss of someone dear, or personal struggles that weigh deeply upon our soul.
I have seen that these emotions are often raw and very real, born from love and deep within our hearts.
They remind us of our humanity, our connection to others, and our need for belonging.
In these moments, listening with empathy and understanding truly helps.
As a coach, I find that empathy creates a safe space for growth, allowing others to feel truly heard, understood, and supported as they navigate change and discover their own path forward.
“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” – Viktor E. Frankl
It has been my experience, that we may not always be able to control our circumstances, but we can choose how we respond.
In my own struggles with transition, I’ve found that reaching out to serve others brings clarity, grounding, and renewed purpose.
For me, love in action helps transform difficulties and sorrows into purpose and meaning.
In times of deep emotion, how do you find your way forward?

Making Metamorphosis Stick

Graduating from university many years ago, literally changed the direction of my life.
I recall attending one of a myriad of careers fairs, where numerous companies visited the university and talked about job opportunities.
One company in particular “Metamorphose” sourced and developed graduates for sales positions and after enduring an intensive selection process, I was offered my first graduate sales role with a major company.
Over the course of the next year Metamorphose were set to fine tune my sales skills through a series of training seminars and inspirational leadership events.
During each session and the subsequent year-long follow up, the big idea was to transfer some of the greatest sales skills and ideas into our daily conduct and routines.
To make it “sticky” enough to make a real difference in our sales abilities, our effectiveness and ultimately the results that we achieved.
In essence it was important for Metamorphose that their training manifested itself in the personality, conduct and performance of each graduate student.
The training certainly was first class and to this day, I still use their materials and powerful techniques.
Sadly however, along the way, there were many who failed.

Adaptation

In life, I’ve discovered that there are many who can hear a great message and not be deeply stirred – we are all different after all.
Yet others, have the ability to take ideas successfully through the early stages of their metamorphosis to where they become ingrained habits that drive long-term success.
The difference often lies in commitment, mindset, and the willingness to apply what is learned consistently.
I saw first-hand how some graduates thrived, seizing every opportunity to refine their skills, while others struggled to implement the lessons.
The most successful individuals were those who embraced continuous learning, adapted to challenges, and stayed persistent even when results were slow to appear.
An effective way to make learning “sticky” is through constant practice, by applying new skills in real-world scenarios until they become second nature.
Another is by repetition, revisiting key concepts over and over to reinforce retention.
For me, coaching and mentoring others has proven to be the best “sticky” method of all.
Looking back, I realise how much of that early training has shaped my approach to business and personal growth today.
What’s one lesson from your early career that has stayed with you?

Bee-Inspired

Last night, I had the chance to meet up with some dear friends and fellow coaches, Philip Atkinson and Dave Kesby.
I joined with many other guests for the launch of Philip’s leadership book “Bee Wise” at the Royal Over-Seas League in London.
Philip is not only a remarkable Organisational Coach, but he is also a beekeeper and an accomplished one at that.
In his book he “lifts the lid on what happens inside a hard-working hive and uses this as a refreshing metaphor to examine working life.”
In essence, “the beehive is the ultimate business case of complex organisations and working life today.”
Philip gifted me a limited-edition hard copy of his book around Christmas time, and I’ve loved perusing it ever since.
The book considers twelve key topics relevant for leadership in organisations today, including change, communication, continuous learning, decision making, diversity, purpose, productivity, teamwork and many more, all through the fascinating metaphor of an industrious beehive.
I’ve discovered a few favourite chapters and understand a little more about the life of bees, and the lessons they can teach us.
Dave was one of 12 guest writers who Philip partnered with to share additional or alternative views, helping to create a community of shared thinking or in other words some hive-logic!
Last night was not just about celebrating the launch of a book; it was about celebrating friendship, shared learning, and the power of collaboration.
Spending time with Philip, Dave, and so many like-minded professionals reminded me of the importance of community and the strength we find in exchanging ideas.
Philip’s ability to weave wisdom and leadership lessons from the natural world into our working lives is truly inspiring.
I wish you every success Philip with “Bee Wise” – may it continue to spark meaningful conversations and insightful reflections in organisations far and wide!
And to all those who have yet to pick up a copy, I wholeheartedly encourage you to dive in and discover the buzz for yourselves! 🐝
Bees thrive on teamwork; just as great leaders foster collaboration – I have a free limited edition signed hard copy to give away!
Tag a colleague, mentor, or friend who embodies the spirit of teamwork and share why they inspire you below.
I’ll pick a winner and send the signed copy to one lucky participant!

The keyboard cat

Since returning home a few months ago, we’ve inherited our daughter Cristi’s cat, while she completes her university studies in Edinburgh.
It’s been quite an adjustment for me, as I am definitely not much of a cat lover.
This week, the cat (Blue) has taken an extra special liking to my office for some reason.
A couple of days ago, he decided to perch himself – quite disruptively, right in front of me on my keyboard!
Admittedly, I became annoyed, and a little frustrated by Blue, as I had things to do!
Reflecting upon that moment, I realised that there was a lesson to be had from this persistent feline, about personal development: how we respond to disruption, can shape our growth.
And since coming home – we have experienced a lot of disruption!
In coaching, I encourage clients to reframe their challenges and look at things from a different perspective.
Disruptions, just like Blue sprawled across my keyboard, can seem like an obstacle.
Yet, they present an unexpected opportunity to pause, reassess, and refocus.
Instead of getting annoyed, I asked myself: What’s the lesson here?
Blue reminded me (again) that life rarely goes as planned, and sometimes the best response is to simply adapt with patience and creativity.
Blue, indifferent to my to-do list, brought me back to the moment.
He reminded me to slow down, breathe, and appreciate the present, even if it wasn’t the one I had planned.
Life often brings unexpected interruptions.
When we embrace them, stay present, and set healthy boundaries, we can create space for growth.
So, when life places a “cat” on your keyboard, pause, reflect, and adapt.
You might discover a lesson you didn’t know you needed.
What unexpected “disruption” in your life has taught you a valuable lesson?

Treading Water?

Returning home a few months ago has been an opportunity for lots of deep reflection, causing me to review a couple of key questions.
What do the next ten years look like?
Where am I really heading before retirement?
Recently, I was in a deep conversation with a dear friend.
He mentioned a phrase that really resonated with me.
He said “It sounds like you are just 𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫…”
I discovered the phrase has a couple of meanings.
Firstly, it means “to float vertically in the water by moving the legs and the arms up and down.”
It’s a survival skill and it’s definitely not sustainable for too long.
Secondly, “not to be advancing in any way” suggesting lots of continuous effort, yet with little forward momentum.
In essence, its lots of hard work, expending energy, yet, remaining static and I could relate to that.
Have you found yourself in this sort of space before, hoping that you are doing all the right things, but not feeling any progress?
Does it look like this?
• 𝑹𝒐𝒖𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒈𝒓𝒐𝒘𝒕𝒉 – Feeling like every day is similar to the last, with no real forward movement.
• 𝑬𝒇𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒕 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒄𝒍𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒚 – Working hard but unsure whether it’s leading anywhere meaningful.
• 𝑪𝒐𝒎𝒎𝒊𝒕𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒔 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒇𝒖𝒍𝒇𝒊𝒍𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕 – Engaged in things, yet wondering if the time and energy is truly well spent.
So, what can you do when you sense you’re treading water?
1. 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐑𝐡𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐦 – Instead of just keeping things going, consider new ways of thinking, working, or living.
2. 𝐒𝐞𝐭 𝐚 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 – It’s hard to measure progress, if you don’t have a clear direction. So, what does real movement look like for you?
3. 𝐅𝐨𝐜𝐮𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐝𝐞𝐩𝐭𝐡, 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 – Sometimes, we need to dive deeper rather than push harder. Learning, reflection, and seeking inspiration can unlock new paths.
4. 𝐓𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬 – Not all movement is visible, I’ve learned to be patient. Some seasons prepare us quietly for what’s next.
If you feel like you’re treading water, ask yourself: 𝑰𝒔 𝒊𝒕 𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒔𝒘𝒊𝒎 𝒊𝒏 𝒂 𝒏𝒆𝒘 𝒅𝒊𝒓𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏?
The answer might just change everything…

Scheduling with Heart

I enjoy a large network of people, including coaching & business clients, colleagues, and many friends all around the world.
Subsequently, my calendar is always buzzing with something!
Scheduling, it seems, is a constant daily ritual for me.
I’m always Juggling time zones, priorities, and opportunities to maintain my meaningful and important connections.
Yet, there’s one thing I’m determined to keep old-school: 𝑰 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒓𝒐𝒍 𝒎𝒚 𝒄𝒂𝒍𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒂𝒓!
While automated scheduling tools are all the rage these days, I prefer a much more personal touch.
I always seem to have competing priorities, yet for me, every meeting is unique, and I like the flexibility to decide when and where I meet someone.
Plus, I am constantly aware of Monic’s calendar too.
It’s not about efficiency, it’s more about intention.
Here are a few of my own tips for managing your schedule with heart:
1. 𝐂𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐛𝐮𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫 𝐳𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬: I try hard never to pack my day back-to-back. Allowing breathing spaces between calls are golden and absolutely essential.
2. 𝐑𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐳𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬: Connecting across the globe requires some care. A little planning can turn a logistical headache into a pleasant experience.
3. 𝐔𝐬𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 “𝐲𝐞𝐬” 𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐲: It’s often tempting to say yes to every meeting, but clarity on priorities helps me keep my calendar purposeful.
4. 𝐒𝐞𝐭 𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞 “𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡-𝐮𝐩” 𝐬𝐥𝐨𝐭𝐬: I block out times specifically for reconnecting with friends and colleagues, which really helps to keep key relationships thriving!
Scheduling isn’t just logistics; for me it’s also about relationships.
Whether it’s a coaching session or a catch-up call, each meeting represents an opportunity to connect.
How do you manage your calendar?
Are you a fan of online schedulers, or do you prefer a more hands-on approach?
I’d love to hear your stories, tips, or even some of those scheduling mishaps!
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