Tag Archive for: coaching

Duct Tape Leadership

There are moments in life when you begin to realise just how important your particular seat on an aeroplane has become.
A couple of days ago, on our Delta flight home from Atlanta, Georgia, that seat happened to be mine, 48E. Or, more precisely, the overhead bin directly above it.
The plane was full. Everyone was seated and the flight was due to depart at 10.50pm. It was now 11.20 pm local time. Most of us were tired, increasingly hungry, and rather keen to begin the journey home.
There was only one small problem.
The overhead bin above my seat would not close. 🤨
At first, one member of staff appeared. Then another. Then another. And then another.
Before long, four mechanics were gathered in the aisle, carefully examining the offending compartment.
There were tools, torches, discussions, puzzled expressions and several increasingly determined attempts to persuade it to cooperate.
The passengers around me became quite invested in the outcome.
It felt a little like watching a particularly tense episode of The Repair Shop, except we were all trapped inside the workshop, with little progress being made.
Of course, safety matters. I was genuinely grateful that the crew took the problem seriously.
However, there was still something quite amusing about the situation.
A large aircraft. Sophisticated technology. Highly trained pilots. Hundreds of passengers. The ability to fly thousands of miles across an ocean.
And the one thing standing between us and Scotland was a cupboard door above seat 48E.
After more than an hour, several tools and a fair amount of brute force, the breakthrough finally came.
The magic solution?… Tape. Lots of tape.
The bin was sealed shut, labelled “UNSERVICEABLE – DO NOT USE”, and quietly retired from active duty for the flight.
It turns out the answer to the question, “How many mechanics does it take to close an overhead bin?” is: Four mechanics, one hour, a couple of metres of tape – and a formal retirement notice for a cupboard door.
There was a wee leadership lesson in it too.
Not every problem needs an elegant solution straight away.
Sometimes good leadership is about making things safe, keeping people moving and fixing it properly later.
What are you overcomplicating that may simply need a practical next step?

Juggling Four

There’s something about a trip to the loft.
You normally go looking for one thing and end up rediscovering three others you had long forgotten about.
Yesterday, I climbed up to bring down some suitcases.
But, as Scotland enjoyed its warmest day of the year, the sun loungers also looked very appealing.
Tucked away beside them were some old juggling balls and a few spinning plates from years ago.
That immediately brought back memories of living in the Netherlands and helping some dear friends learn to juggle.
What fascinated me then still feels true now: three balls are manageable with a little practice.
Four, however, changes everything.
The leap from three to four is far greater than most people expect.
In fact, I have only ever met a handful of people who could consistently juggle four or more well.
And perhaps life works much the same way.
Most of us can normally keep a few important things moving reasonably well: work, family, health, friendships, responsibilities.
But eventually life can add another ball or two into the air including a health concern, a difficult season in life, financial pressures, anxiety, conflict or even exhaustion.
And suddenly what once felt manageable starts becoming noticeably harder.
Perhaps that is why rest is not laziness.
Sometimes it is wisdom.
Yesterday, I left the juggling balls and spinning plates in the loft.
And with Monic’s help we brought down the sun loungers together instead.
Sometimes we do not need greater productivity.
We simply need a little sunlight, stillness and space to breathe again.
As I sat quietly in the sunshine for a while, I found myself wondering whether part of getting older is slowly learning that we were never designed to keep adding more and more balls into the air.
What “fourth ball” might you be trying to keep in the air right now?

Every Club Counts

Yesterday, while co-facilitating a Lead the Way session at Aviva in Perth, we were exploring leadership styles.

Towards the end of the session, I thought it was time to bring a little unexpected fun into the room. Earlier that morning, in my preparations for the session, I’d had a silly idea…

So… out came the golf clubs. ⛳

A driver, 3 wood, 4 iron, pitching wedge, sand wedge and of course… my putter.

A few slightly puzzled faces looked back at me!

I asked if there were any golfers in the room and one participant bravely volunteered to come forward.

What followed was part leadership lesson, part comedy golf challenge.

We talked about how no golfer would ever play an entire round with just one club.

The driver might help you launch down the fairway, but it’s hopeless in a bunker.

And a putter is perfect on the green, but not much use off the tee.

The wedge helps with delicate recovery shots.

Each club has a purpose for a specific situation and good golfers learn to read the course ahead of them.

In a sense Leadership styles are very similar.

Great leaders don’t rely on one dominant style for every circumstance.

Sometimes a team needs a visionary leader who paints a compelling picture of the future.

At other times they need coaching and encouragement.

Or they may need clarity, pace, collaboration, challenge, reassurance or direction.

The real skill is sensing what the situation requires… and then reaching for the right “club.”

Of course, no leadership activity involving golf clubs would be complete without a little chaos.

So naturally, we finished by attempting to putt golf balls into a mug from across the room using different clubs.

Let’s just say the success rate varied considerably depending on the club selected!

There was plenty laughter, a little competitiveness, and more than a few surprisingly passionate putting techniques on display.

But beneath the fun sat a simple reminder:

Leadership flexibility matters and there is always a choice, but as we watched John we all realised how he slowed down and really concentred too.

The key message landed – the best leaders are not those who master only one style.

They are the ones who develop the awareness, confidence and adaptability to use the right style at the right moment for the people in front of them.

Or, to put it another way…

Sometimes leadership requires a driver, and sometimes it simply requires a very careful putt into a pink mug!

As leaders, are we carrying a full bag of clubs… or just swinging the same one over and over again?

The Gentle Rewind

My day always begins early.

This morning, as I sat to write in my journal, I tried something a little different.

So, I sat quietly… and replayed yesterday in my mind’s eye.

I slowed down, even more unhurried, with no sense of rush. And as I did, it felt like watching an old video on rewind. Scene by scene in full colour.

I watched myself.
Where I was.
Who I was with.
What I said.

And how I showed up in each moment.

And something interesting happened.

I began to notice not just what I did… but how I was.

Was I present… or just physically there?
Was I listening… or waiting for my turn to speak?
Was I calm… or quietly hurrying the moment along?

There were moments I liked. Times when I was fully there, engaged, listening, unhurried.

And there were others…

Moments where I could see the subtle rush.
A hint of impatience.
Divided attention.
Tiredness creeping in.
Nothing dramatic.

Just small, human moments.

But really seeing them and properly noticing them, somehow felt different.

There was no harsh judgement.
Just a gentle awareness.

“Did you notice that moment?”
“That’s where you were trying.”
“That’s where you could slow down.”

Those quiet observations changed everything.

Questions…

I found myself asking a simple question as I watched it back:
How did I really show up yesterday?

I realised how rarely I give myself the space to truly see my day.
Not just skim it… but revisit it, unhurried.

Because the truth is, most of leadership – and most of life – isn’t made up of big moments.

It’s made up of small ones, including conversations, glances, pauses, interruptions, fatigue, kindness.

And somewhere in the middle of all that… is who we are becoming.

Slowing down long enough to notice it might be one of the most important leadership practices we develop.

Why not give it a go?

If you were to quietly rewind your day, what might you see that you didn’t notice the first time?

The Thinking Face

The other day, I was co-facilitating a virtual learning session on coaching for Aviva, on their new flagship leadership programme, Lead the Way.

After an initial exploration of the topic and some key areas to focus on, we sent the participants off into breakout rooms in trios and pairs for a little practice.

Armed with good intentions, a handful of questions, some listening skills and a new coaching model, they had just enough structure to get going.

And off they went.

As I dropped in and out of the rooms, something caught my attention.

Not the questions, the coaching model or even their listening skills.

Rather, it was their 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐞𝐬.

Many had a very familiar look that said something like, “I’m concentrating very hard on getting this right….”

You know that sort of look that was slightly tense, yet focused, and thinking more about the process, than the person.

There was a kind of intensity about them.

It was coaching… but it didn’t quite feel like connection.

Connection Coaching

I smiled, because (although it’s been a while) I’ve been there too.

In coaching, we can get so wrapped up in doing it right that we forget something simple: Your face is always speaking and more importantly, it is a very powerful tool in the coaching world.

Prior to sending them off into the breakout rooms, we’d spent a while considering questions, those of the verbal variety.

Experience has taught me that you can ask many questions in non-verbal ways through facial expressions, eye contact, a raised eyebrow, a puzzled look, tilting your head to the side, tugging your ear, placing your hand on your cheek, stroking your chin, using hand gestures to help or a combination of them all.

Self-awareness is paramount.

So, I left them with one thought towards the end of the session: “Have a think about what your face was saying.”

It may not something we often think about too often, but it might be one of the simplest ways to become a better coach.

Because great coaching isn’t just in the words we use… it’s frequently in the signals we send.

👉 What is your face saying?

Make it Fun

Sometimes, life can bring along difficult situations, hard or even tedious tasks at times.
Some tasks can just drain you, even just the thought of it!
Or am I alone in that thinking!?
You know the ones.
The long list.
The thing you’ve been putting off for a while.
Or even the bit of the day where your energy quietly slips out the room.
I’ve been noticing this a little more in our learning programmes at work with Aviva too.
There’s a very predictable moment, right after lunch.
We come back into the room…
And within minutes, you can almost feel the shift.
Energy dips.
The room gets quieter… but not in a good way.
And it’s nobody’s fault.
We’re all just human after all…
So, quite often these days, we’ve started doing something very simple.
We 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲 and have a little bit of 𝐟𝐮𝐧.
Nothing complicated.
Nothing forced.
Just a short, slightly playful energiser.
A quick activity.
A bit of movement.
Something that gets people talking, laughing, interacting again.
And without fail… it works.
Shoulders lift.
Eyes re-engage.
Learning comes back to life.
It all starts with a small thoughtful question:
“What’s one small thing we could do to make this a bit more fun?”
And that question changes things.
I’m starting to wonder if this applies far beyond our learning programmes.
That difficult conversation.
That overwhelming to-do list.
That task you keep avoiding.
What’s one small thing you could do to make today just a little more fun?

26 Names. No pressure.

Yesterday I saw something I’ve only witnessed a handful of times in my life.
As my co-facilitator Kelly and I kicked off Module 2 of our Lead the Way programme in Perth with Aviva, we met our cohort of leaders for the first time.
It was their second time together, though. They already knew each other. More importantly, they knew each other’s names.
Kelly and I, on the other hand, were starting from zero.
To get things going, I ran a simple line-up activity. It’s one of those exercises that looks easy until I realised, I was struggling to remember even three names in a row!
My idea was simple: learn as many names as possible without making it obvious I was guessing.
While I was doing that, Kelly stood back, observing. I casually (and somewhat jokingly) challenged her to see how many names she could remember.
We got to the end of the line. Twenty-six people.
I turned to her and asked how she’d done.
To my astonishment, she started at the very beginning and worked her way through every single person.
One by one. A couple of tiny stumbles, but even those she almost rescued.
There was a quiet, collective “wow” moment.
Later, I asked her what her secret was.
She said she imagines a friend of hers standing just behind each person – someone who shares the same name.
That was it. No complicated system. Just a simple, human connection.
And that’s what stayed with me.
Because this isn’t really about memory. It’s about attention.
As leaders, we often look for big gestures to make an impact. We think it’s about strategy, vision, or saying the right thing at the right time.
But moments like this are a reminder that leadership often shows up in much smaller ways.
Learning someone’s name.
Using it.
Making them feel noticed.
It’s easy to underestimate how powerful that is. But in a busy, distracted world, being remembered is rare. And being remembered by your leader? That sticks.
The lesson for me was simple: people don’t need us to be impressive. They need us to be present.
If leadership is attention, where are you placing yours?

Formulas

Recently, I’ve noticed a bit of a trend at work… formulas.
Not the kind that take me back to school (thankfully), but the kind that try to capture a value, a virtue, or a principle in a neat, almost mathematical way.
Simple and memorable is the key.
So naturally, my colleague Annmarie and I thought… let’s give it a go.
In a recent virtual session on accountability, we introduced the idea right at the start and invited people to notice any thoughts, ideas or impressions that came to them during the session.
We then got on with things as per normal, breakouts, discussions, shared experiences. All of the usual good stuff.
As we came towards the end, we returned to the idea and gave everyone a few minutes to create their own “accountability formula.”
And then… we triggered a chat storm.
(If you’ve never seen one, the idea is everyone holds their response… and then everyone hits enter at once. Instant energy and instant insight.)
The chat lit up with some brilliant thinking.
But one response stopped me.
One participant captured his thinking using just a handful of emojis.
No words.
No explanation.
And yet… it said everything.
Accountability = 📖 + 🥺 +🤯 + 😎
I caught up with Robert Miller yesterday and asked him to walk me through it again.
It was thoughtful, simple, and spot on.
I was going to explain it here…
But actually, I think it’s far more fun (and perhaps more revealing) to leave it with you.
Sometimes the most powerful ideas are the ones that are simple enough to be shared, understood…and open enough to mean different things to different people.
And when we create space for everyone to contribute at once, we often hear from voices that might otherwise stay quiet.
𝐎𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮: What do you think Robert meant by his formula?

A View From the Other Side

I’ve always liked learning something new.

Last week was no different, when I got the chance to spend some time with my new buddy, Ruth Birrell, from Personal Insurance at Aviva in Perth. She was helping me understand what it’s really like to be a call handler dealing with travel insurance calls for Nationwide and Barclays.

I realised pretty quickly that, while I’ve spent years being the person calling into a contact centre, I’d never actually seen what it looks like on the other side.
It turned out to be a really eye-opening experience.

I listened in on a number of customer calls and saw first-hand how Ruth supports each person. In my 90 minutes of observation, I learned a lot!

She talked me through how calls are handled, the kinds of questions people ask, and how she makes sure each customers get the right cover and the support they need.

What really stood out was the level of care, patience and, most importantly, listening that goes into every single call. No two conversations were the same, and I began to recognise it takes real skill to properly understand what someone needs and then to explain things clearly.

There were a few moments where I realised I’d completely missed key details… and yet Ruth hadn’t missed a thing! She made it look easy (I’m fairly sure it isn’t).

And the multitasking…? Well, that was simply the next level. Her nimble fingers danced over her keyboard at lightning speed! ⚡

Spending time with Ruth definitely gave me a new appreciation for her role and I began to understand the impact the whole team can have on the customer experience.

Swap!

After that, it felt only fair to return the favour. I invited Ruth down to the Learning Centre to sit in on a Lead the Way session for an hour.

On Friday morning she joined us and, just like me before, she really enjoyed the experience. It was great to have her there and share a bit of what we do. The session she joined was all about role modelling leadership in our personal behaviours.

She even left determined to complete a learning exercise herself, which felt like a fun thing to do.

Overall, it turned into a really nice exchange. I got a better understanding of life on the phones, and Ruth got to see how we support colleagues through the Lead the Way programme.

It’s a good reminder of how much we can learn just by stepping into someone else’s world for a short time.

A simple swap, but a useful one and I think there were some real benefits for both of us.

When was the last time you swapped roles with someone for an hour to see things from their perspective?

The Breakfast TV Effect

At the end of a Lead the Way leadership session last week with Aviva in Perth, one of the participants came up to my co-facilitator Jackie with a smile and said:
“You two are like a TV hosting couple.”
Jackie and I looked at each other and laughed. 😆
In that moment, I thought about some of the hosts on BBC Breakfast and just smiled again!
Thankfully, no one asked us to read the weather or comment on traffic on the M90! 😉
The funny thing is, we’ve actually known each other for around twenty years, going all the way back to our days when Jackie worked at RBS and I was part of a management consultancy team acting as a thinking and delivery partner.
Like many professional relationships, life and careers took us in different directions for a while. But recently we’ve found ourselves facilitating together, helping leaders think, reflect and grow.
And it’s been great fun.
There’s something quite special about working with someone where there is already a shared history. Our conversations flow naturally. The rhythm of the room seems easier to read. One person picks up where the other leaves off. A question here, an observation there, a gentle challenge at just the right moment.
Perhaps that’s what the participant was noticing.
In my view, Breakfast TV hosts have that same dynamic.
They create a sense of warmth, energy and ease while guiding people through the morning’s conversations.
In many ways, good facilitation is a little like that too.
It’s not about performing or dominating the stage. It’s about creating a space where people feel comfortable enough to think aloud, challenge assumptions, laugh a little, and leave the room seeing things slightly differently.
I think that is what it felt like last week with Jackie.
When trust and familiarity are already there, the focus stays where it should be – on the learning in the room.
And yes… there was a healthy supply of Tunnock’s Caramel wafers involved last week too.
Some things never change.
It’s been a real pleasure working alongside Jackie again after all these years.
Who knows… perhaps we should start a “Good Morning Leadership” show next?!
Who is the colleague you’d happily host a “leadership breakfast show” with?