The Patience Spectrum
Following a recent coaching conversation, I decided to study the topic of patience for the last few weeks.
Yesterday, I was running a virtual learning session on a completely different topic and a spectrum or continuum was used to explore one key idea.
It got me thinking about patience again and figuring out what it would look like on a spectrum.
Patience is often praised as a virtue, but it’s not one-size-fits-all.
This morning, I started to see patience not as a fixed trait, but as a spectrum.
And like most spectrums, the extremes can be just as unhelpful as the absence of it.
On one end, there’s over-patience, the kind that borders on passivity and inaction.
You wait too long, tolerate too much, delay the hard conversations.
It feels calm on the outside, but underneath it might be fear, avoidance, or indecision.
On the other end, there’s impatience in overdrive.
Everything’s urgent.
There’s no space for process or people.
Things have to happen now, and if they don’t, then frustrations can arise.
Somewhere in between is the sweet spot: 𝒅𝒊𝒔𝒄𝒊𝒑𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒆𝒅 𝒑𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒆.
This version is intentional.
Balance is important.
Patience isn’t about stepping back and doing nothing.
It’s about staying connected while giving things the space they need.
You’re not rushing to control the outcome, but you’re not disengaging either.
You stay aware, you stay ready and most importantly you trust the timing.
But here’s the difficult question – it’s hard to know where you are on the spectrum.
If you’re not sure where you stand, ask someone you trust.
Someone who’s seen you in both calm and crisis.
“Do I tend to wait too long, or perhaps not long enough?”
The answer might surprise you, and possibly, it might be exactly what you need to hear.
“Patience is not indifference. Actually, it means caring very much but being willing, nevertheless, to submit to the Lord and to what the scriptures call the “process of time.”” – Neal A. Maxwell.
Where on the patience spectrum do you see yourself right now – and what might help you move closer to the sweet spot?
