Tag Archive for: change

The Cost of Being Lukewarm

Have you ever taken a sip of lukewarm water?
It’s unpleasant, not refreshing, just bland.
Sometimes our lives can feel the same way.
“Fire” or “heat” often serve as symbols of power, knowledge, enthusiasm, vigour and yet can also represent destruction and judgement.
Consider the following:
– She’s set the world on fire.
– He has got a fire in his belly.
– She is a ball of fire.
– He is burning with ambition.
Over the years I have worked with many leaders who have some “fire in their belly”.
Others I’ve met who may be in that undesirable place midway between hot and cold, or even more strikingly “lukewarm”.
I’m reminded of the scripture in Revelation 3:15 – 16 which says “I know thy works, that thou are neither cold nor hot: I would thou were cold or hot. So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold not hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth.”
In this context the scripture represents a lack of spiritual passion or commitment.
This idea of someone being lukewarm could be described as follows:
– She’s just going through the motions.
– He’s just coasting along.
– She’s half-hearted about it.
– He’s blowing hot and cold.
It has been my experience that if we want to be successful in our personal or professional lives, we need to ignite that inner fire.
Don’t settle for lukewarm!

Lukewarm: the enemy of progress

Passion, drive, and commitment fuel progress, innovation, and meaningful change.
Without them, we risk stagnation, simply drifting along without direction or impact.
When you are lukewarm about something, the results are frequently the same.
That’s not to say enthusiasm alone guarantees success, but when combined with purpose and perseverance, it becomes a powerful force.
The most effective leaders I’ve met are those who bring warmth, energy, and conviction to their work.
Their hearts can inspire other hearts with their fire.
Their secret? It’s quite simple really, they do something they love to do!
They go to work but never “work” a day in their life!
So, where do you find yourself?
Are you on fire, lukewarm, or simply going through the motions?

Bee-Inspired

Last night, I had the chance to meet up with some dear friends and fellow coaches, Philip Atkinson and Dave Kesby.
I joined with many other guests for the launch of Philip’s leadership book “Bee Wise” at the Royal Over-Seas League in London.
Philip is not only a remarkable Organisational Coach, but he is also a beekeeper and an accomplished one at that.
In his book he “lifts the lid on what happens inside a hard-working hive and uses this as a refreshing metaphor to examine working life.”
In essence, “the beehive is the ultimate business case of complex organisations and working life today.”
Philip gifted me a limited-edition hard copy of his book around Christmas time, and I’ve loved perusing it ever since.
The book considers twelve key topics relevant for leadership in organisations today, including change, communication, continuous learning, decision making, diversity, purpose, productivity, teamwork and many more, all through the fascinating metaphor of an industrious beehive.
I’ve discovered a few favourite chapters and understand a little more about the life of bees, and the lessons they can teach us.
Dave was one of 12 guest writers who Philip partnered with to share additional or alternative views, helping to create a community of shared thinking or in other words some hive-logic!
Last night was not just about celebrating the launch of a book; it was about celebrating friendship, shared learning, and the power of collaboration.
Spending time with Philip, Dave, and so many like-minded professionals reminded me of the importance of community and the strength we find in exchanging ideas.
Philip’s ability to weave wisdom and leadership lessons from the natural world into our working lives is truly inspiring.
I wish you every success Philip with “Bee Wise” – may it continue to spark meaningful conversations and insightful reflections in organisations far and wide!
And to all those who have yet to pick up a copy, I wholeheartedly encourage you to dive in and discover the buzz for yourselves! 🐝
Bees thrive on teamwork; just as great leaders foster collaboration – I have a free limited edition signed hard copy to give away!
Tag a colleague, mentor, or friend who embodies the spirit of teamwork and share why they inspire you below.
I’ll pick a winner and send the signed copy to one lucky participant!

The keyboard cat

Since returning home a few months ago, we’ve inherited our daughter Cristi’s cat, while she completes her university studies in Edinburgh.
It’s been quite an adjustment for me, as I am definitely not much of a cat lover.
This week, the cat (Blue) has taken an extra special liking to my office for some reason.
A couple of days ago, he decided to perch himself – quite disruptively, right in front of me on my keyboard!
Admittedly, I became annoyed, and a little frustrated by Blue, as I had things to do!
Reflecting upon that moment, I realised that there was a lesson to be had from this persistent feline, about personal development: how we respond to disruption, can shape our growth.
And since coming home – we have experienced a lot of disruption!
In coaching, I encourage clients to reframe their challenges and look at things from a different perspective.
Disruptions, just like Blue sprawled across my keyboard, can seem like an obstacle.
Yet, they present an unexpected opportunity to pause, reassess, and refocus.
Instead of getting annoyed, I asked myself: What’s the lesson here?
Blue reminded me (again) that life rarely goes as planned, and sometimes the best response is to simply adapt with patience and creativity.
Blue, indifferent to my to-do list, brought me back to the moment.
He reminded me to slow down, breathe, and appreciate the present, even if it wasn’t the one I had planned.
Life often brings unexpected interruptions.
When we embrace them, stay present, and set healthy boundaries, we can create space for growth.
So, when life places a “cat” on your keyboard, pause, reflect, and adapt.
You might discover a lesson you didn’t know you needed.
What unexpected “disruption” in your life has taught you a valuable lesson?

Turning to the Light

Yesterday, I had the privilege of facilitating a couple of learning workshops with young adults (18-35 years old) from across Scotland and Ireland.
They had gathered for a three-day weekend conference at the Preston Temple of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Chorley.
The theme of the weekend was Light the Temple, and I was invited to share experiences from our time serving as Mission Leaders in Belgium and the Netherlands.
For the workshops, I chose the title: Turning Toward the Light – How Missionary Service Changes Us.
And it truly does!
The two one-hour sessions were experiential learning feasts, filled with hands-on activities, meaningful discussions, and plenty of laughter.
From role-playing missionary experiences to heartfelt personal stories, the room was alive with energy, enthusiasm, and faith.
There was something special about being together, learning, sharing, and even laughing about the unique and often humorous moments that come through missionary service.
As missionaries, we strive to follow the Saviour’s example in Acts 10:38 – going about “doing good.”
And in doing so, we are changed.
There were four key learning takeaways:
We become…
• Changed for Good
• Fluent in Discipleship
• Closer to Him
• Builders of His Kingdom
It was an absolute joy to spend time with these incredible young people.
Their testimonies, their light, and their laughter filled the room with a spirit of unity and purpose.
Being with them reminded me of how turning toward Christ shapes not just our missions, but our entire lives.
How has turning to Him changed you?

Treading Water?

Returning home a few months ago has been an opportunity for lots of deep reflection, causing me to review a couple of key questions.
What do the next ten years look like?
Where am I really heading before retirement?
Recently, I was in a deep conversation with a dear friend.
He mentioned a phrase that really resonated with me.
He said “It sounds like you are just 𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫…”
I discovered the phrase has a couple of meanings.
Firstly, it means “to float vertically in the water by moving the legs and the arms up and down.”
It’s a survival skill and it’s definitely not sustainable for too long.
Secondly, “not to be advancing in any way” suggesting lots of continuous effort, yet with little forward momentum.
In essence, its lots of hard work, expending energy, yet, remaining static and I could relate to that.
Have you found yourself in this sort of space before, hoping that you are doing all the right things, but not feeling any progress?
Does it look like this?
• 𝑹𝒐𝒖𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒈𝒓𝒐𝒘𝒕𝒉 – Feeling like every day is similar to the last, with no real forward movement.
• 𝑬𝒇𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒕 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒄𝒍𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒚 – Working hard but unsure whether it’s leading anywhere meaningful.
• 𝑪𝒐𝒎𝒎𝒊𝒕𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒔 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒇𝒖𝒍𝒇𝒊𝒍𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕 – Engaged in things, yet wondering if the time and energy is truly well spent.
So, what can you do when you sense you’re treading water?
1. 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐑𝐡𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐦 – Instead of just keeping things going, consider new ways of thinking, working, or living.
2. 𝐒𝐞𝐭 𝐚 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 – It’s hard to measure progress, if you don’t have a clear direction. So, what does real movement look like for you?
3. 𝐅𝐨𝐜𝐮𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐝𝐞𝐩𝐭𝐡, 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 – Sometimes, we need to dive deeper rather than push harder. Learning, reflection, and seeking inspiration can unlock new paths.
4. 𝐓𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬 – Not all movement is visible, I’ve learned to be patient. Some seasons prepare us quietly for what’s next.
If you feel like you’re treading water, ask yourself: 𝑰𝒔 𝒊𝒕 𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒔𝒘𝒊𝒎 𝒊𝒏 𝒂 𝒏𝒆𝒘 𝒅𝒊𝒓𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏?
The answer might just change everything…

We Are Our Thoughts

Our thoughts are incredibly powerful.
They affect us in many ways – our mood, our behaviours and our outlook on life.
I’ve always loved the scripture in Proverbs 23:7, “For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he…”
Recently I have been paying much more attention to the things I am thinking every day.
I consider whether my thoughts are positive, negative or even neutral.
…Apply the proverb to real life…
If my thoughts are filled with positivity, then so I will be.
…with negativity, then so I will be.
We literally become our thoughts.
We 𝒂𝒓𝒆 our thoughts.
In short – I am learning again that the quality of my thoughts has a direct impact on the quality of my life.
I love this quote by Dr. Wayne Dyer: “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change”
Subsequently, if you want to have a more meaningful and purposeful life, then begin to pay more attention to the things you think about every day.
Start by considering the things you tell yourself every day.
For example, are you struggling with someone?
A spouse, partner, a sibling, parents, a friend, or a workmate perhaps?
Pause for a moment and stop yourself.
Watch your thoughts…
Do you see what is happening in that moment?
What do you think about in your heart, when you think of them?
What do you notice?
Are your thoughts negative or positive?
If its negative, challenge yourself, and your thinking.
For me those challenges start early in the morning, when I make plans for the day ahead.
Start by engaging new positive thoughts and watch them start to grow day by day.
See how it feels.
I am relearning that when we change your thoughts, you can change your life, one thought at a time.
What would happen if you took just one thought today and intentionally shifted it from negative to positive?

Looking Back

“You’re looking well Dave” I said.
“And you too Daryl” he replied.
And so began our lovely lunch with one another, earlier this week in Stirling.
Dave and I were colleagues many years ago, collaborating on numerous large-scale, challenging projects during our time working together.
Lunch was delicious.
We got caught up on our family situations.
And we talked about what we were doing now.
But what we really enjoyed was taking time to reflect upon our many experiences we’d share together, twenty plus years ago.
Looking back allowed us to revisit past experiences with the clarity of hindsight.

New Insights

As we shared our thoughts and feelings, we found they often revealed insights that we’d missed in the moment, from many years ago.
Indeed, we found looking back useful, because it gave us both a new perspective.
Revisiting those moments with Dave added another layer of richness, as his perspective shed light on details I’d never considered.
Part of enjoying life lies in celebrating our accomplishments and milestones, and there were certainly plenty of those during the time Dave and I worked side by side.
Whilst reflecting on some of those daunting challenges we faced together, our shared response was, “I’d never thought about it quite like that before.”
Looking back isn’t just about nostalgia—it’s an opportunity for growth.
We both recognised how far we’d come and understood a little better how the many challenges we’d faced together had shaped us, and to some extent, influenced our future decisions.
There is something very powerful about reflecting on the past together.
We both realised how much we’d influenced each other; in ways we’d never considered.
Looking back certainly helped us to understand how our past experiences had shaped us, but somehow it also helped us to look ahead to the future with renewed confidence.
It was a real joy to strengthen our bonds of friendship, celebrate our successes and gain a deeper empathy for and understanding of each other – after far, far too long!
Thanks Dave – and I’ll pay next time!
When you look back on where you’ve been, how does it shape the way you see your path ahead?

Is it time to move on?

Recognising that you’ve outgrown something—whether it’s a job, relationship, hobby, or even a lifestyle—can be a challenging but necessary step in personal growth.

I find we hold onto familiar things out of comfort or fear of the unknown.

Yet, life is constantly evolving, and outgrowing certain aspects of it is a natural part of this journey.

As a coach, I’ve discovered that there are some tell-tale signs that it’s time to move on.

Stagnation and Lack of Growth

One of the most common signs that you’ve outgrown something is a feeling of stagnation.

You’re no longer learning, evolving, or feeling challenged in a meaningful way, manifesting itself as boredom or frustration.

At work for instance, you might find that your tasks have become monotonous, with no opportunities for advancement or development.

Or in a relationship, it could feel like there is no deeper connection or emotional growth happening.

If you feel stagnant, it’s time to re-evaluate your goals.

Ask yourself what you really want to achieve and whether your current situation is helping you get there.

Set new goals that challenge you, and make small steps toward them.

It could mean seeking a new job, learning new skills, or communicating openly with others about what you need for growth in relationships.

Consistent Frustration or Unhappiness

When you’ve outgrown something, feelings of frustration, dissatisfaction, or even resentment often start to surface.

You may feel like you’re stuck or wasting your potential.

In relationships, this can manifest as constant arguments or feeling emotionally drained.

In a career, it can feel like you’re simply going through the motions without any real fulfilment.

If you consistently feel unhappy, it’s important to acknowledge your feelings.

My favourite is journaling, I know it can help you reflect on what’s causing these emotions.

Or with the help of a coach or friend, identify whether the frustration stems from something you can change within your current situation, or whether it’s time to move on entirely.

You may need to set boundaries or have tough conversations, or it could be time to explore new opportunities that align more with your values and passions.

You Feel Disconnected

Another sign is a growing sense of disconnection.

Things that once brought you joy, excitement, or passion may now feel empty.

You might feel like you just don’t belong.

Take time to reconnect with yourself by engaging in self-reflection and mindfulness.

Spend time figuring out what excites and energises you now.

This could mean rediscovering old passions or trying new activities.

If you feel disconnected from a social group or relationship, it may be time to seek out new connections that resonate more with who you’ve become.

Your Values or Priorities Have Changed

As we grow, our values and priorities often shift.

You may start to realise that what once mattered most no longer aligns with your current beliefs or goals.

This could happen with friendships, jobs, or even personal habits.

For instance, a career path that once seemed ideal might no longer align with your desire for work-life balance or personal fulfilment.

When your values change, it’s crucial to realign your life accordingly.

Begin by making a list of your current priorities and values.

What’s truly important to you now?

Once you have clarity on these, you can begin making decisions that align with your new values.

This might mean changing careers, pursuing more meaningful hobbies, or prioritising different relationships.

You Daydream About Something New

If you frequently find yourself daydreaming about a different job, relationship, or lifestyle, it could be a clear sign that you’ve outgrown your current situation.

These daydreams often reflect unmet desires or unfulfilled potential.

Rather than dismiss these thoughts, explore them further.

What is it that you’re yearning for?

Is it adventure, creativity, a deeper connection, or more freedom?

Once you’ve identified your desires, start taking concrete steps toward making those dreams a reality.

Research new opportunities, network with people who are in fields or lifestyles that interest you, or create a plan to gradually transition into something new.

In Conclusion

Outgrowing something is a natural part of life, and while it can feel unsettling, it’s also an opportunity for growth and renewal.

A coach can help you along your way.

By recognising the signs—stagnation, unhappiness, disconnection, shifting values, and daydreaming—you can take proactive steps to move forward.

Whether it’s setting new goals, engaging in self-reflection, or seeking new challenges, the key is to embrace change and create a life that aligns with your current self.

If you’re in that space now, message me, I’m happy to listen and help…

 

The Source

In my preparations for a forthcoming learning intervention with a large company, I held a 1-1 call with the leader of the organisation.
He shared lots of thoughts, feelings, analysis and views about current issues, yet I felt I needed more.
After some in depth discussion, I suggested that it would be helpful to meet 1 by 1 with each of the Senior Management Team (SMT).
Thus, I travelled south, to be with them this week.
After setting the context, I asked one question and ran a little activity, repeating it several times over two days.
In each of my personal encounters, one by one they spoke openly and passionately about their responsibilities.
The outcomes were insightful, helpful and enlightening.
Spending time with each leader, connecting with them, grasping their perspectives and engaging with them personally helped me to discern the nature of the challenges at hand.
Direct communication, powerful questioning and active listening were key to each of them giving me their personal views.
Reflecting upon this activity, I believe it to have been a successful use of everyone’s time.

Why?

I went to 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐜𝐞.

In our dialogue, connecting with each member of the SMT was a powerful 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐜𝐞 of helpful insight, allowing me to foster authentic relationships and avoid any distortion of information.

Since then, I have thought about another 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐜𝐞 of even greater insight.
Going to 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐜𝐞, especially in matters of faith and spirituality, carries an unparalleled significance that cannot be replaced by second-hand knowledge, interpretation, or analysis.

Who?

I believe that Jesus Christ is “𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒄𝒆”” of all peace, light, truth and joy.
When we go to Him, we are referring to an intimate, personal encounter with the divine that shapes our spiritual understanding and life in ways that books, sermons, or even conversations with others can never fully achieve.
Encountering Jesus Christ in a personal, direct manner leads to deep, long-lasting change.
𝐇𝐞 is 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒄𝒆 of the living waters, providing an abundance of life, spiritual sustenance and joy.
Speaking to the Samaritan woman as she drew from Jacob’s well, Jesus declared “But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life.” – John 4:13-14
I hope that we will all choose to drink from the divine 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐜𝐞 of all living waters and connect with Him, even Jesus Christ.

Showing Up

Will you be attending a meeting of any kind today?
Perhaps it’s a coaching session, a one-day training seminar, a job interview, a meeting with your boss, or even a visit with an elderly parent.
In my lifetime, I have sat through tens of thousands of different kinds of meetings.
There are those that I was fully prepared for, excited to attend and others that I simply “showed up” and completely missed the purpose of the event.
Do you know what I mean?
Physically present, but mentally absent…
Something else was on my mind…other thoughts, worries, plans or whatever.
Have you been there?

Being Present

“Showing up,” in its most powerful sense, means being present – cognitively and emotionally.
In my view, “showing up” is about being present for others while putting your own desires and ambitions to the side.
It demands active preparation, engagement, mental readiness, and emotional presence.
As a coach, as I prepare for any session, I carefully consider what I may encounter ahead with my client.
It is a matter of focus, choosing to be fully present and engaged.
I may ask myself, “What is the purpose of this session, and how can I add value?”
True presence in a coaching session or any meeting requires active listening and observation, which goes beyond what’s being heard and seen, its about what you feel too.
Actively engaging with the ideas presented allows you to better contribute to the discussion.
Pausing to reflect on the information, asking questions, and offering thoughtful feedback shows that you’re mentally engaged and not just physically present.
Just prior to a recent important meeting, I practiced a mindfulness technique of deep breathing beforehand to help my focus and listening.
Being emotionally present is also essential.
Your attitude and energy can either inspire or demotivate, and will help you to read the room and the moment.
Check in with your emotions and pause before entering the meeting to ensure you’re bringing positive energy.
Showing up is a skill, and like all skills, it needs to be continuously put into practice.
But you can do it.
You will come away from your experiences, changed, simply because you showed up!
What will you do to “show up” today?