Tag Archive for: change

We Are Our Thoughts

Our thoughts are incredibly powerful.
They affect us in many ways – our mood, our behaviours and our outlook on life.
I’ve always loved the scripture in Proverbs 23:7, “For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he…”
Recently I have been paying much more attention to the things I am thinking every day.
I consider whether my thoughts are positive, negative or even neutral.
…Apply the proverb to real life…
If my thoughts are filled with positivity, then so I will be.
…with negativity, then so I will be.
We literally become our thoughts.
We 𝒂𝒓𝒆 our thoughts.
In short – I am learning again that the quality of my thoughts has a direct impact on the quality of my life.
I love this quote by Dr. Wayne Dyer: “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change”
Subsequently, if you want to have a more meaningful and purposeful life, then begin to pay more attention to the things you think about every day.
Start by considering the things you tell yourself every day.
For example, are you struggling with someone?
A spouse, partner, a sibling, parents, a friend, or a workmate perhaps?
Pause for a moment and stop yourself.
Watch your thoughts…
Do you see what is happening in that moment?
What do you think about in your heart, when you think of them?
What do you notice?
Are your thoughts negative or positive?
If its negative, challenge yourself, and your thinking.
For me those challenges start early in the morning, when I make plans for the day ahead.
Start by engaging new positive thoughts and watch them start to grow day by day.
See how it feels.
I am relearning that when we change your thoughts, you can change your life, one thought at a time.
What would happen if you took just one thought today and intentionally shifted it from negative to positive?

Looking Back

“You’re looking well Dave” I said.
“And you too Daryl” he replied.
And so began our lovely lunch with one another, earlier this week in Stirling.
Dave and I were colleagues many years ago, collaborating on numerous large-scale, challenging projects during our time working together.
Lunch was delicious.
We got caught up on our family situations.
And we talked about what we were doing now.
But what we really enjoyed was taking time to reflect upon our many experiences we’d share together, twenty plus years ago.
Looking back allowed us to revisit past experiences with the clarity of hindsight.

New Insights

As we shared our thoughts and feelings, we found they often revealed insights that we’d missed in the moment, from many years ago.
Indeed, we found looking back useful, because it gave us both a new perspective.
Revisiting those moments with Dave added another layer of richness, as his perspective shed light on details I’d never considered.
Part of enjoying life lies in celebrating our accomplishments and milestones, and there were certainly plenty of those during the time Dave and I worked side by side.
Whilst reflecting on some of those daunting challenges we faced together, our shared response was, “I’d never thought about it quite like that before.”
Looking back isn’t just about nostalgia—it’s an opportunity for growth.
We both recognised how far we’d come and understood a little better how the many challenges we’d faced together had shaped us, and to some extent, influenced our future decisions.
There is something very powerful about reflecting on the past together.
We both realised how much we’d influenced each other; in ways we’d never considered.
Looking back certainly helped us to understand how our past experiences had shaped us, but somehow it also helped us to look ahead to the future with renewed confidence.
It was a real joy to strengthen our bonds of friendship, celebrate our successes and gain a deeper empathy for and understanding of each other – after far, far too long!
Thanks Dave – and I’ll pay next time!
When you look back on where you’ve been, how does it shape the way you see your path ahead?

Is it time to move on?

Recognising that you’ve outgrown something—whether it’s a job, relationship, hobby, or even a lifestyle—can be a challenging but necessary step in personal growth.

I find we hold onto familiar things out of comfort or fear of the unknown.

Yet, life is constantly evolving, and outgrowing certain aspects of it is a natural part of this journey.

As a coach, I’ve discovered that there are some tell-tale signs that it’s time to move on.

Stagnation and Lack of Growth

One of the most common signs that you’ve outgrown something is a feeling of stagnation.

You’re no longer learning, evolving, or feeling challenged in a meaningful way, manifesting itself as boredom or frustration.

At work for instance, you might find that your tasks have become monotonous, with no opportunities for advancement or development.

Or in a relationship, it could feel like there is no deeper connection or emotional growth happening.

If you feel stagnant, it’s time to re-evaluate your goals.

Ask yourself what you really want to achieve and whether your current situation is helping you get there.

Set new goals that challenge you, and make small steps toward them.

It could mean seeking a new job, learning new skills, or communicating openly with others about what you need for growth in relationships.

Consistent Frustration or Unhappiness

When you’ve outgrown something, feelings of frustration, dissatisfaction, or even resentment often start to surface.

You may feel like you’re stuck or wasting your potential.

In relationships, this can manifest as constant arguments or feeling emotionally drained.

In a career, it can feel like you’re simply going through the motions without any real fulfilment.

If you consistently feel unhappy, it’s important to acknowledge your feelings.

My favourite is journaling, I know it can help you reflect on what’s causing these emotions.

Or with the help of a coach or friend, identify whether the frustration stems from something you can change within your current situation, or whether it’s time to move on entirely.

You may need to set boundaries or have tough conversations, or it could be time to explore new opportunities that align more with your values and passions.

You Feel Disconnected

Another sign is a growing sense of disconnection.

Things that once brought you joy, excitement, or passion may now feel empty.

You might feel like you just don’t belong.

Take time to reconnect with yourself by engaging in self-reflection and mindfulness.

Spend time figuring out what excites and energises you now.

This could mean rediscovering old passions or trying new activities.

If you feel disconnected from a social group or relationship, it may be time to seek out new connections that resonate more with who you’ve become.

Your Values or Priorities Have Changed

As we grow, our values and priorities often shift.

You may start to realise that what once mattered most no longer aligns with your current beliefs or goals.

This could happen with friendships, jobs, or even personal habits.

For instance, a career path that once seemed ideal might no longer align with your desire for work-life balance or personal fulfilment.

When your values change, it’s crucial to realign your life accordingly.

Begin by making a list of your current priorities and values.

What’s truly important to you now?

Once you have clarity on these, you can begin making decisions that align with your new values.

This might mean changing careers, pursuing more meaningful hobbies, or prioritising different relationships.

You Daydream About Something New

If you frequently find yourself daydreaming about a different job, relationship, or lifestyle, it could be a clear sign that you’ve outgrown your current situation.

These daydreams often reflect unmet desires or unfulfilled potential.

Rather than dismiss these thoughts, explore them further.

What is it that you’re yearning for?

Is it adventure, creativity, a deeper connection, or more freedom?

Once you’ve identified your desires, start taking concrete steps toward making those dreams a reality.

Research new opportunities, network with people who are in fields or lifestyles that interest you, or create a plan to gradually transition into something new.

In Conclusion

Outgrowing something is a natural part of life, and while it can feel unsettling, it’s also an opportunity for growth and renewal.

A coach can help you along your way.

By recognising the signs—stagnation, unhappiness, disconnection, shifting values, and daydreaming—you can take proactive steps to move forward.

Whether it’s setting new goals, engaging in self-reflection, or seeking new challenges, the key is to embrace change and create a life that aligns with your current self.

If you’re in that space now, message me, I’m happy to listen and help…

 

The Source

In my preparations for a forthcoming learning intervention with a large company, I held a 1-1 call with the leader of the organisation.
He shared lots of thoughts, feelings, analysis and views about current issues, yet I felt I needed more.
After some in depth discussion, I suggested that it would be helpful to meet 1 by 1 with each of the Senior Management Team (SMT).
Thus, I travelled south, to be with them this week.
After setting the context, I asked one question and ran a little activity, repeating it several times over two days.
In each of my personal encounters, one by one they spoke openly and passionately about their responsibilities.
The outcomes were insightful, helpful and enlightening.
Spending time with each leader, connecting with them, grasping their perspectives and engaging with them personally helped me to discern the nature of the challenges at hand.
Direct communication, powerful questioning and active listening were key to each of them giving me their personal views.
Reflecting upon this activity, I believe it to have been a successful use of everyone’s time.

Why?

I went to 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐜𝐞.

In our dialogue, connecting with each member of the SMT was a powerful 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐜𝐞 of helpful insight, allowing me to foster authentic relationships and avoid any distortion of information.

Since then, I have thought about another 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐜𝐞 of even greater insight.
Going to 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐜𝐞, especially in matters of faith and spirituality, carries an unparalleled significance that cannot be replaced by second-hand knowledge, interpretation, or analysis.

Who?

I believe that Jesus Christ is “𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒄𝒆”” of all peace, light, truth and joy.
When we go to Him, we are referring to an intimate, personal encounter with the divine that shapes our spiritual understanding and life in ways that books, sermons, or even conversations with others can never fully achieve.
Encountering Jesus Christ in a personal, direct manner leads to deep, long-lasting change.
𝐇𝐞 is 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒄𝒆 of the living waters, providing an abundance of life, spiritual sustenance and joy.
Speaking to the Samaritan woman as she drew from Jacob’s well, Jesus declared “But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life.” – John 4:13-14
I hope that we will all choose to drink from the divine 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐜𝐞 of all living waters and connect with Him, even Jesus Christ.

Showing Up

Will you be attending a meeting of any kind today?
Perhaps it’s a coaching session, a one-day training seminar, a job interview, a meeting with your boss, or even a visit with an elderly parent.
In my lifetime, I have sat through tens of thousands of different kinds of meetings.
There are those that I was fully prepared for, excited to attend and others that I simply “showed up” and completely missed the purpose of the event.
Do you know what I mean?
Physically present, but mentally absent…
Something else was on my mind…other thoughts, worries, plans or whatever.
Have you been there?

Being Present

“Showing up,” in its most powerful sense, means being present – cognitively and emotionally.
In my view, “showing up” is about being present for others while putting your own desires and ambitions to the side.
It demands active preparation, engagement, mental readiness, and emotional presence.
As a coach, as I prepare for any session, I carefully consider what I may encounter ahead with my client.
It is a matter of focus, choosing to be fully present and engaged.
I may ask myself, “What is the purpose of this session, and how can I add value?”
True presence in a coaching session or any meeting requires active listening and observation, which goes beyond what’s being heard and seen, its about what you feel too.
Actively engaging with the ideas presented allows you to better contribute to the discussion.
Pausing to reflect on the information, asking questions, and offering thoughtful feedback shows that you’re mentally engaged and not just physically present.
Just prior to a recent important meeting, I practiced a mindfulness technique of deep breathing beforehand to help my focus and listening.
Being emotionally present is also essential.
Your attitude and energy can either inspire or demotivate, and will help you to read the room and the moment.
Check in with your emotions and pause before entering the meeting to ensure you’re bringing positive energy.
Showing up is a skill, and like all skills, it needs to be continuously put into practice.
But you can do it.
You will come away from your experiences, changed, simply because you showed up!
What will you do to “show up” today?

Divine Tutorials

It’s been an enjoyable week of 1-1 coaching interviews for Monic and I in Amsterdam, Leiden and Rotterdam.
We continue on our last round of these interviews before returning home at the end of June.
For some of the missionaries it was their first and also, sadly, their last interview with us.
I have considered these 25 – 30-minute personal coaching sessions as divine tutorials.
They’re certainly a little different from university tutorials!

Definitions

Some personal definitions of these sessions would be something like this…
𝐃𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐞: Relating to and filled with inspiration and love from God.
𝐓𝐮𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐥: a one-on-one learning session, with a young missionary, where we come to know one another better, discuss problems, challenges and seek assistance through heaven’s help.
Over these last few years, there have been thousands of these 1-1 sessions.
Each different, but in some ways the same.

The Last Session

This week was no different, except we all knew this was our last session together.
We talked, we shared, we problem solved, we taught, we listened, we laughed, we cried, we prayed, we encouraged, promises were shared.
As I listened, I realised that as each missionary shared with me their personal challenges, it was as if each of them were being tried in a very personal and unique way in what I’d call, the 𝑳𝒐𝒓𝒅’𝒔 𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒈𝒆.
Why is missionary work so hard sometimes?
Why does the Lord let such difficult things happen?
Why did it work out that way?
My witness is this…
As they apply the teachings of Jesus Christ and develop His attributes in their own life’s, I know that every single one of them changes.
I know that 𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒐𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒈𝒆, 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒆𝒍.
Individually, they are galvanized and welded into a powerful cohesive group of friends in the Belgium Netherlands Mission of De Kerk van Jezus Christus van de Heiligen der Laatste Dagen
It is beautiful to behold, over and over and over again.
These moments will be treasured forever and ever.
Have you experienced a divine tutorial?

“Look how far we’ve come…”

After their final departing testimonies, I asked the six missionaries to line up in front of the rostrum.
“Elder Johnson, can you stand the middle of them please.”
“Now take 13 steps away from Elder Johnson, in any direction you like.”
Departing

And off they went.

“Elder Santos, you take another 4 steps, so 17 in total.”
At that point he was in the corridor and then he came back into the chapel.
“Elder Johnson, will you please represent Jesus Christ.”
Some further instruction was given to them all.

Returning

“Take 1 step towards Jesus Christ”.
“Now, take your second step…”
“Third” and so forth until all 13 steps were taken and all of the sisters had returned to stand by Jesus Christ (Elder Johnson).
Elder Santos was still a little distance away, so I asked him to take his final 4 steps towards Jesus Christ.
Tenderly, they embraced one another.
In the analogy, each step represented a 6-week transfer in the mission.
Sisters have 13, and Elders 17.
As they immersed themselves in their purpose, to invite others to come unto Christ through their 18 or 24-month mission, something miraculous happens.
One by One – they 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆.

Faith

Step by step, day by day, week by week, transfer by transfer, they edge closer to Jesus Christ.
“For we walk by faith, not by sight.” – 2 Corinthains 5:7
What did He see in each of them?
As they struggled, with their faults, failings, and human frailties, they too felt of His healing hands and frequent tender embraces.
Like each of them, He sees all of us as souls worth saving.
“As we are made new in Christ, our very natures change, and we no longer want to go back to our old ways.” Elder Robert D. Hales.
We literally become “in Christ… a new creature…” 2 Corinthians 5:17
On your journey through life, how does Jesus Christ give you the strength to change?
Ask the missionaries – they can help!

Mission Leadership Council

Every six weeks, the leaders of the mission gather together to counsel about the relevant matters of the day.
Our topics yesterday included:
– Study Your Language (SYL) – daily!
– Teaching the Gospel of Jesus Christ
– Drawing on the Powers of Heaven
– Being united, knit together as one
– Dealing with constant Change
– Hot Chocolate and Sifting – see Luke 22:31-32
– To the Rescue – Ministering to the one.
– Christlike attributes
– Team work
– Communication Skills
– Social Media and Content Updates…
These are very special days, never to be forgotten.
As missionaries come and go in the mission, gaining an understanding of leadership and counselling together, is such an important part of their growth and development.
Oh – and we also like to have a little bit of fun too!
The pictures capture just one of our lively learning activities of the day!

At the Front Door

10 seconds into your car journey, you get that sneaky feeling…
You recognise the whispering thought, before it was too late!
Did I forget anything?
Did I remember to close the windows at home?
Did I turn the lights off?
Is the door locked?
Is my passport in my bag?
Do I have my house key?
You turn around just to make sure, only to discover that you have everything after all!
Relief, happiness and joy fill your heart having endured a few challenges and moments of doubt.
It wasn’t too late, to make sure and be certain.
Fast forward, to that event, that all of us will face one day.

At Death’s Door

Many years into life’s journey, you get that sneaky feeling…
You recognise the whispering thought, before it was too late!
Did I forget anything?
Did I remember to open the windows of heaven?
Did I turn those spiritual lights on?
Have I unlocked my heart to the enticings of the holy ghost?
Sacred covenants – did I make, keep and honour them?
Is my temple recommend current?
You reflect back just to make sure, only to discover that keeping covenants means you have everything after all.
Relief, happiness and joy fill your heart, having endured many challenges, by staying firmly on the covenant path.
It wasn’t too late, to make sure and be certain.
Our covenants with God did not start here and will not finish here – they are eternal in nature.
Making and keeping covenants are the key to eternal life, just ask a missionary – they can help.

Confronting ourselves with ourselves

How often are you confrontational with yourself?
A couple of weeks ago, I asked some confrontational questions on the subject of pride and humility in our missionary zone conferences.
It is my experience that it’s human nature to see faults in others, and yet much more difficult to see faults in 𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒗𝒆𝒔.
Most people run away from confronting themselves because it can hurt.

Call your Mum!

A good place to start, is by calling your mom (mum!) – she loves you and knows you well enough to really help!
We need to find enough humility to be willing to confront ourselves.
It is extremely important to be willing to admit and confess your sin, weakness, and failure.
I am a witness to the fact that there comes a time in life when confronting ourselves with ourselves is obligatory – a time when one must concede or confess the error of one’s way.

Yield

Ultimately, it starts to occur, when a prideful heart, yields to humility and meekness, and is “willing to submit to all things” – see Mosiah 3:19.
Departing from former ways, one begins to understand Psalms 51:10 which reads; “Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.”
It is always the penitent, who know the seriousness of their sin, who approach God humbly and say, “I have nothing to offer but a broken and contrite heart.” (Psalm 51:17)
It is then and only then, that the battle with ourselves is on its way to being won.
Henry B. Eyring said; “Daily repentance is the pathway to purity, and purity brings power.”
Self-confrontation allows us to see ourselves as we really are, rather than what we want to see.
Even though it can be agonising, it allows us to grow and expand into a fuller, more settled version of ourselves.
Confronting ourselves is not about berating or criticising ourselves.

Asking Questions

It’s about asking difficult questions and committing to the process of self-reflection and self-inquiry.
“Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength.” – August Wilson.
It’s about holding yourself accountable.
Am I becoming the person I want to be?
Am I doing what I said I would do?
If you’re seeking to make progress in your life, learn to confront yourself.
What do I need to confront myself with today?