Tag Archive for: change

Lessons that change us

๐‹๐ž๐ฌ๐ฌ๐จ๐ง๐ฌ ๐ญ๐ก๐š๐ญ ๐๐จ๐งโ€™๐ญ ๐œ๐ก๐š๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ž๐ง๐ ๐ž ๐ฎ๐ฌ ๐ซ๐š๐ซ๐ž๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐œ๐ก๐š๐ง๐ ๐ž ๐ฎ๐ฌ – Brad Wilcox
This is a cracking photo of two young missionaries, returning home exhausted, after another long hard day. This was outside our Stowe Road apartment in Shepherd’s Bush, London โ€“ in January 1984. Iโ€™d been out only a few weeks in the England London Mission.
I had the best trainer ever in Kelley Gray
Times never to be forgotten.
Those were the days!!
Every day those lessons in the mission field challenged me.
More significantly, they changed me.
Now, as Monic and I lead the Belgium Netherlands Mission, frequently I see great power and wisdom in the phrase “๐’๐’†๐’”๐’”๐’๐’๐’” ๐’•๐’‰๐’‚๐’• ๐’…๐’๐’โ€™๐’• ๐’„๐’‰๐’‚๐’๐’๐’†๐’๐’ˆ๐’† ๐’–๐’” ๐’“๐’‚๐’“๐’†๐’๐’š ๐’„๐’‰๐’‚๐’๐’ˆ๐’† ๐’–๐’”.”
For all who have served or are currently serving, I am absolutely certain each of you will know exactly what I mean.
That said, these lessons don’t only take place in the mission field.
What lessons have challenged and changed you?

Improving!

โ€œWees niet bang om fouten te maken, iedereen die een nieuwe taal leert, maakt fouten!โ€

In other words, donโ€™t be afraid to make mistakes, anyone who learns a new language makes mistakes!

After a few months in the Netherlands, words to that affect frequently run through my mind.

That said however, I had a funny experience at Schiphol Airport last week, whilst picking up the new arriving missionaries.

Whilst Monic and I, along with Elder Ornelas were waiting for the final missionary to arrive at Gate 2, I was approached by a complete stranger, looking for directions to the other arrival gates 3 & 4.

Having just come from gate 3, I gave him the directions in my best Dutch, pointing at the same timeโ€ฆ

โ€œGa rechtdoor, dan rechtsaf, 100 meter rechtdoor en dan is het aan u rechterhandโ€

He thanked me and then headed off in that direction.

I turned back to Monic and Elder Ornelas, and it struck me that this was very similar to that moment when Elder Calhoun in the movie โ€œThe Best Two Yearsโ€ directed a complete stranger at the railway station.ย  For those of you who have seen the movie, you will recall that precise moment.ย  If you haven’t see the movie – then watch it, it has to be one of the best movies about life in the mission field.

We laughed together as we talked about the movie and Elder Calhoun!

In that moment, I realised without thinking that my Dutch is improving!!

What is improving for you right now, that you may not have noticed?

Measuring Progress

How do you measure your progress?
….It’s just gone 6.50am and I am doing good!
One of my favourite Christmas presents is my water bottle.
It allows me to measure the amount of water I drink, by the hour, throughout the entire day.
No more counting glasses for meโ€ฆ
With this I can see the progress I am making to achieve my daily 2 litre goal.
I love it!!
It is a SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Targeted) way of setting a daily goal.
The first step to measure progress is to set a goal…
There is however little point in setting a goal if you will never know whether you were successful or not.
To determine the level of success, you must be able to measure your progress.
When you measure your progress, you see exactly how you are getting along, which in turn can act as a great motivator for you to stick with something.
In my experience, the fact that you are making progress will give you the drive and energy to stick with the goal.
How do you measure your progress with your personal goals?

Nobody is a Nobody

๐๐จ๐›๐จ๐๐ฒ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐š ๐ง๐จ๐›๐จ๐๐ฒ!
Through my life, career and church service, oftentimes I’ve heard phrases like “what does it really matter, I’m nobody,” or “I’m just one of the thousands, I’m nobody really”.
Perhaps in the past you may have felt you were a nobody, or maybe you are feeling right now that you are a nobody?
“We do ourselves a great injustice when we allow ourselves, through tragedy, misfortune, challenge, discouragement, or whatever the earthly situation, to so identify ourselves. No matter how or where we find ourselves, we cannot with any justification label ourselves โ€œnobody.โ€” – said Marvin J. Ashton.
Frequently life, work and family challenges can get us down and cause us to question who we really are. We doubt ourselves, we doubt our self worth and confidence may fail us. I have been in too many coaching conversations where that has been the case.
Please, please be assured – you are a somebody!!!
You are endowed with great gifts, unique capabilities, special talents all waiting to be discovered, developed and finely tuned.
Each of us are needed.
You are unique.
You are where you are supposed to be.
No one, absolutely no one can take your place.
Everybody is somebody to me.
My simple invitation today is to invite you to be somebody, nobody thought you could be.

Adapting to Change

Years ago, I worked for a company whose logo incorporated a dandelion.
Yesterday, whilst visiting Hengelo for the weekend, we met with our new friends Gert & Nicky Aalderink for a lovely dinner. During our conversation we talked about dandelions for a minute or two.
As a child I learned that blowing on dandelion puffballs can tell you if itโ€™s time to go home, how many years it will be until you find the right person and get married, or perhaps even how many children youโ€™ll have โ€“ and naturally, if you catch a flying dandelion seed, you can make a wish!
All of this is just plain nonsensical childish fun – of course!
Dandelions however grow and flourish almost anywhere.
Why?
Simply stated – they can adapt exceptionally well to any changing conditions.

Top Tips

Recently, I have been asked a lot about adapting to change. And so, I thought this morning, (having facilitated many learning sessions on the topic over many years,) I’d share my top ten tips on adapting to change. Here they are…..
1 – Focus on what you can control
2 – Accept and embrace change
3 – Recognise, understand and acknowledge your emotions
4 – Avoid catastrophising about the future
5 – Regulate your stress levels by slowing down
6 – Always get support from others
7 – Establish daily healthy routines and good habits
8 – Always be curious about the new experience
9 – Take one baby step at a time
10 – Seek out new opportunities that will certainly arise.
Dandelion seeds blowing in the wind, land in all kinds of different places. To survive, grow and flourish, they have to adapt to their ever changing environment.
In a like manner as each of us face an ever changing environment at home, in the workplace and most certainly in the mission field, we must adapt quickly to survive, grow and flourish!
What is one your best tips on adapting to change?

Change one Thing

Change One Thing….
Have you ever asked yourself what’s the one thing that I can change about myself that will make the biggest difference in my life?
Change happens one (baby) step at a time.
In a number of recent conversations, I have found that we tend to focus on far too many changes at once.
Then it struck me this morning that we must remember, that new habits are formed one step at a time……One By One.
By changing one thing in your daily habits and routines, no matter how great or small, I have found that just one little thing can have many big consequences in your life.
Perhaps its that one annoying habit that consumes lots of your time every day, that is really just a waste of time and effort!
You know what I mean.
So – why not do something today that will make a big difference?
Choose to change.
It may help you to soar higher.
What one thing will you change today?

Change 6 things!

Facilitating a meeting earlier this week with our Mission Leadership Council, I used one of my favourite little change activities. I paired each participant up with a buddy, had them stand back to back and then invited them to change 6 things about their appearance.
I always love running this activity as it is such a great little icebreaker. It went very well and everyone had some fun together.
There were also some great points made by the participants and some very positive in the moment learning takeaways…
Two points I want to make today about this little activity.
Firstly, I always change something about myself. It is always very difficult for them to spot. When they are all busy changing various things about themselves, I simply sneakily remove my wedding ring. Eventually, after several guesses, someone always identifies the change. I then explain how difficult it is to remove my ring. Its been there a long time – 27 years! And it has great sentimental value, which brings back many memories too.
๐‹๐ž๐ฌ๐ฌ๐จ๐ง ๐Ÿ- Change is sometimes difficult because we have been doing things the same way, for a long time. Little things, are often BIG things!
Secondly, after the activity, everyone changed their appearance, back to how it was. I didn’t ask them to do it, yet every single one of them did!
Why did they do that?
๐‹๐ž๐ฌ๐ฌ๐จ๐ง ๐Ÿ- Simply stated, because that was the way they were before and frequently its much more comfortable there!
Two simple reasons why change is sometimes difficult to achieve!
William Bridges Transition Model, is a great place to start to understand more about change.
What change are you facing today?

Baby Steps

๐‘จ ๐’‹๐’๐’–๐’“๐’๐’†๐’š ๐’๐’‡ ๐’‚ ๐’•๐’‰๐’๐’–๐’”๐’‚๐’๐’… ๐’Ž๐’Š๐’๐’†๐’” ๐’ƒ๐’†๐’ˆ๐’Š๐’๐’” ๐’˜๐’Š๐’•๐’‰ ๐’‚ ๐’”๐’Š๐’๐’ˆ๐’๐’† ๐’”๐’•๐’†๐’‘ – Chinese Proverb.
Arriving in a different country, understanding a new culture and an unfamiliar language can be overwhelming at times – it certainly isn’t an instant process!
It has been over 26 years since Monic and I have lived in the Netherlands and we are already noticing how so many things have changed.
That said, one big thing that I have already learned is the value and importance of taking ๐’๐’๐’† ๐’”๐’Ž๐’‚๐’๐’ ๐’ƒ๐’‚๐’ƒ๐’š ๐’”๐’•๐’†๐’‘ ๐’‚๐’• ๐’‚ ๐’•๐’Š๐’Ž๐’†.

The first few steps

Tentatively, we have taken our first few steps of exploration in and around our local area. It is so beautiful, with lovely scenic walks and the people are so friendly.
Meeting with each of our missionaries one by one, has been an absolute joy.
For the first time yesterday, I was able to travel from one destination to another in the car with only a little help from the GPS. Driving can be especially challenging, especially due to the high volume of traffic and the proliferation of cyclists, everywhere!
Sitting in meetings where the language is completely Dutch no longer feels quite so painful or complete gobbledygook.
Slow, but sure, steady progress.
I have found that many of the happiest and most successful people I have encountered in life have achieved their level of life and work success by taking small baby steps, and then making one positive choice after another.
Positive new habits and routines are created incrementally, one baby step at a time. Indeed, it is through the process of change, that we discover who we really are. Patiently and carefully I am learning to lengthen my stride, one little baby step at a time!
What is a small, first step you can take and implement now in the changes you are facing in life?

A lesson from slippers

“Where are my slippers?”
It was dark, 5.00 am and the fourth night in our new home in the Netherlands. I’d lost them…..again!
That question, was one of many similar thoughts as we have started to settle into life here in the Netherlands.
– “Where is that…?”
– “Have you seen…?”
– “What did I do with…?”
– “Why did I put that there…?”
– “How does that work…?”
– “When have we to be there…?”
– “How do we get there…?”
– “Hoe zeg ik dat in het Nederlands…?”
We have been completely out of our comfort zones and routines. Every day, being stretched a little more. It has been both exciting, wonderful and tiring too! Every evening, our bed has been calling us into a deep slumber very, very easily indeed!
During times of great change…., stress, anxiety and feelings of being overwhelmed can come easily. However, as we discover and introduce new routines and new structures into our lives, it can bring a sense of control, focus, organisation and in time, greater productivity.
Simply stated, having now found a new spot for my slippers, my daily routine ends with placing my slippers under the bedroom chair, so that they are easily retrieved the next morning.
It takes time, practice and effort to find and get used to new routines – but I am pleased to say, I have found my slippers every morning for the last three days… Progress! ๐Ÿ˜
What routines and daily habits do you have in your life to help you be more productive?

How have you changed?

Arriving home, fighting my tiredness, my bed was screaming my name… “get in Daryl, you’re exhausted!” It was only 8.35pm!
Last week, I was back on the road for the first time in forever.
After 16 months of being in my own bed every night, it felt a little strange to be in a hotel for a couple of evenings once again.

Things have changed…

After a very long drive on the motorway for hours on end, the relief of the services and ultimate arrival at the hotel were eagerly anticipated. However, COVID-19 and social distancing restrictions made the whole experience a very different one from times gone by.
Everywhere was busy, and everywhere we stopped was clearly understaffed and heavily bounded by limiting restrictions. This in turned placed a heavy burden on those who were working to fill a multitude of different roles. They were doing their best, yet it was clearly difficult.
All that said, it was just good to have change of scenery, meet people again, enjoy new experiences and be with family and friends.
Be that as it may, I was never so glad to climb into my own bed on Saturday evening and fall into a deep slumber once more. It was bliss!
I am certainly out of my old routines for sure. Driving that far and staying in hotels again for a couple of sleepless nights in a strange bed wasn’t as appealing as it used to be. Maybe it’s just old age creeping in!?
Perhaps, after years of travel, I’m changing too.
Are you?