Tag Archive for: anxiety

Handling Failure

Experience has taught me, that to suffer some anxiety, some stress, some low moods or depression, some disappointment, or even some failure is ๐’๐’๐’“๐’Ž๐’‚๐’.
Let me repeat that…. ๐๐Ž๐‘๐Œ๐€๐‹!
Everyone fails.
Everyone.
Everyone has bad things happen to them at some point.
Every now and then, a really good miserable day, or even a few of them may come along all at once, lined up perfectly all in a row, day after day!
Maybe you have felt days like that?
Doomed to failure.
Defeated, lost, discouraged, possibly even feelings of shame and inferiority may ariseโ€ฆ
You may even choose to prolong the agony by engaging in some mental torture, relentless self-criticism, beating yourself up and continually berating yourself.
When we feel like this, we may even want to hide, to shrivel up or even just disappear.
Have you been there?
Itโ€™s easy to be tough on ourselves. Isn’t it!

If this is you, choose to ๐’๐“๐Ž๐!

It is time to change your relationship with failure.
Take a momentโ€ฆ
Breathe.
Think.
Let me assure you, ๐ญ๐ก๐ž๐ซ๐ž ๐ข๐ฌ ๐š ๐›๐ž๐ญ๐ญ๐ž๐ซ ๐ฐ๐š๐ฒ…
What would you do to support a friend through a similar difficult period?
By showing ourselves some kindness, respect and encouragement, we can practice self-compassion.
With self-compassion, we give ourselves the same kindness and care weโ€™d give to a good friend.
โ€œSelf-compassion has been defined as a self-attitude that involves treating oneself with warmth and understanding in difficult times and recognizing that making mistakes is part of being human (Neff, 2003)
Realising that things donโ€™t always go the way you want them to, is a reality shared by each and every one of us.
My experience is to see failure as a step closer to success, not a step backwards.
How can you be kinder to yourself?
Think of a time when you failed at something and someone responded with kindness and reassurance…
How did that make you feel?

In a dark place?

Sometimes, we can find ourselves in some dark places in our life.
It can be debilitating.
Itโ€™s been my experience, that everyone has low mood days.
And I mean everyone.
When they come (and they will), what can you do about it?
There has been lots written in recent years about positive thinking, mindset, mindfulness, sleeping patterns etc.
Personally, for years, I have maintained a daily habit of journaling.
Unquestionably, it has helped to maintain my mental well-being.
However, one of the most frequently recommended practices by psychologists, counsellors and coaches to help those with dark moods, anxiety or stress, is to keep a ๐ ๐ซ๐š๐ญ๐ข๐ญ๐ฎ๐๐ž ๐ฃ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ๐ง๐š๐ฅ.
What is a gratitude journal anyway?
Simply, a gratitude journal helps you appreciate life more.
Its easy to begin.
Find a small notebook, some quiet โ€œmeโ€ time to reflect, maybe 15 minutes at the end of the day and write down three things that you are grateful for.
Let the gratitude flowโ€ฆ
Here are some ideas to get you startedโ€ฆ
โ€ข Someone youโ€™re happy to have in your life.
โ€ข Your favourite part of the day
โ€ข Someone who gave you good advice.
โ€ข Good news or something that made you smile.
โ€ข Something beautiful you saw today.
โ€ข Someone who inspired you.
โ€ข Something you love about your work.
The outcomes?
Itโ€™ll reduce stress, lower anxiety, release tension, provides clarity, itโ€™ll make you happier and will help you gain a better understanding of yourself.
The more practice you get, the easier it becomes, and youโ€™ll more easily feel the sensations that come into your thoughts as you focus on gratitude.
Go on, give it a go, and start today.

Under Pressure?

Under pressure? Feeling stressed? A lot on your plate?

Usually, our first thoughts are to dig deep, work harder and grind through the challenge at hand.

Top Personal Coaching Tip โ€“ ๐๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ก ๐๐š๐œ๐ค!

……And counter those feelings with an opposing action.

Itโ€™s a simple thing, but remember to take a break for 15 minutes or longer.

Take a walk, stretch, meditate, breathe, relax, get some fresh air, in other words slow down and be still.

Enjoy the scenery!

I did!

Allowing yourself some mental and emotional freedom from all the pressure, with meaningful slacking time, ๐’‚๐’๐’˜๐’‚๐’š๐’” has great rewards.

Oftentimes, thatโ€™s when the laughter kicks in!

Overloaded?

Last Sunday, we decided to gourmet with the missionaries for dinner.
Elder Austin had never had dinner in quite this way before, and as Kyle and Cristi were still here, we thought it was a good idea to set it all up. It was New Year after all.
We got everything organised, with two grills on the table, meat, sauces, breads, plates, cutlery, glasses, extension cables etc.
Then we plugged in the grills.
Suddenly, the house was in darkness.
Weโ€™d blown a fuse!
A trip to the fuse box, showed that the circuit was broken, and the switch had tripped.
I tried to reset it, but it wouldnโ€™t reset.
The two grills were plugged into one socket. Hmm, “too overloaded” we thought.
We then put the grills into separate sockets and tried to reset the switch.
This time it worked, the lights came back on, and we had a lovely evening of gourmet together.
๐‘ซ๐’ ๐’š๐’๐’– ๐’ƒ๐’๐’๐’˜ ๐’‚ ๐’‡๐’–๐’”๐’† ๐’”๐’๐’Ž๐’†๐’•๐’Š๐’Ž๐’†๐’” ๐’˜๐’‰๐’†๐’ ๐’š๐’๐’– ๐’‚๐’“๐’† ๐’๐’—๐’†๐’“๐’๐’๐’‚๐’…๐’†๐’…?
In a similar manner, sometimes, when circumstances in our life demand more of us than we feel we can give, we can feel overloaded.
Just like the fuse box in our homes however, we also have some built in safety factors in our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual state that help us to ensure that we donโ€™t overload.
Each of us have more built-in strength than we suppose.
Frequently, we must slow down, reappraise, readjust, rewire and consider what really matters most.
In that regard, Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf said, a personโ€™s relationship with God is most sacred and vital. โ€œAs we seek Him, as we learn of His son Jesus Christ, as we open our hearts to the influence of the Holy Ghost, our lives become more stable and secure.โ€
I know that it is through coming unto Christ, that will bring you peace, stability, security and He will become the source of an uninterruptible source of constant power in your life.
What switch do you need to flick?

Dealing with stress…

Recently I was asked “How do you cope with stressful situations” .
Sometimes, it may just feel easier to hide and run away!
However, I recalled an experience from some 25 years ago that I’d like to share again today.
I was just finishing at University, newly married and working part time at an Asda petrol station to pay the bills.
It was a typical Saturday morning, just before Christmas, with traffic flow starting to build. Sadly, after opening up the forecourt at 7am, my colleague who was supposed to be in the second booth didn’t show up for work – I found out later he called in sick.
With no other trained Petrol Station colleagues available until 1pm, I knew I was in for a rough shift – especially if just one forecourt problem arose.
So with one booth closed and no pay at pump facility in those days, all the Saturday morning traffic was funnelled into my lane.
By 10am that morning, traffic was queuing all the way into the main car park, customers were becoming impatient and obscenities were starting to be hurled my way.
Luckily for me that day – there was no equipment failure – which had it occurred would have been disastrous – but I did learn five useful lessons about stress that I have never forgotten.
1. Ask for help
2. Control your emotions – as best you as you can.
3. Focus on the task at hand
4. Stay Calm – breathe
5. Find something to laugh about
I survived and you can too!
#stress

A lesson from slippers

“Where are my slippers?”
It was dark, 5.00 am and the fourth night in our new home in the Netherlands. I’d lost them…..again!
That question, was one of many similar thoughts as we have started to settle into life here in the Netherlands.
– “Where is that…?”
– “Have you seen…?”
– “What did I do with…?”
– “Why did I put that there…?”
– “How does that work…?”
– “When have we to be there…?”
– “How do we get there…?”
– “Hoe zeg ik dat in het Nederlands…?”
We have been completely out of our comfort zones and routines. Every day, being stretched a little more. It has been both exciting, wonderful and tiring too! Every evening, our bed has been calling us into a deep slumber very, very easily indeed!
During times of great change…., stress, anxiety and feelings of being overwhelmed can come easily. However, as we discover and introduce new routines and new structures into our lives, it can bring a sense of control, focus, organisation and in time, greater productivity.
Simply stated, having now found a new spot for my slippers, my daily routine ends with placing my slippers under the bedroom chair, so that they are easily retrieved the next morning.
It takes time, practice and effort to find and get used to new routines – but I am pleased to say, I have found my slippers every morning for the last three days… Progress! ๐Ÿ˜
What routines and daily habits do you have in your life to help you be more productive?

Feeling overwhelmed?

Stressed, anxious, worried, tense, overwhelmed, working harder than ever – sound familiar?

One of my favourite stories is told by Stephen Covey in “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People”. It’s based on a story by Arthur Gordon entitled “The Turn of the Tide”.

Arthur recalls a time when he was experiencing deep frustration at work and many challenges in life.

Finally, he went to see a Doctor who told him to spend the following day in the place where he’d been happiest as a child. Then, he gave Arthur four prescriptions in sealed envelopes, to be opened at 9, 12, 3 and 6 o’clock the next day.

As day dawned, off he went to his favourite beach.

At 9 – “๐‹๐ข๐ฌ๐ญ๐ž๐ง ๐œ๐š๐ซ๐ž๐Ÿ๐ฎ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฒ” – he heard the birds and sound of the sea.

By 12 – “๐“๐ซ๐ฒ ๐ซ๐ž๐š๐œ๐ก๐ข๐ง๐  ๐›๐š๐œ๐ค” – happy memories came flooding back.

Then at 3 – “๐„๐ฑ๐š๐ฆ๐ข๐ง๐ž ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐ฆ๐จ๐ญ๐ข๐ฏ๐ž๐ฌ” – he discovers he was focused too much on himself.

Finally at 6 – “๐–๐ซ๐ข๐ญ๐ž ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐ฐ๐จ๐ซ๐ซ๐ข๐ž๐ฌ ๐ข๐ง ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐ฌ๐š๐ง๐” – he did, knowing that the waves would soon wash them away.

This prescription works for everyone..

Make those internal adjustments now.

Why not apply this remedy for yourself today?

๐–๐ž ๐œ๐š๐ง ๐œ๐ก๐š๐ง๐ ๐ž ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐ฐ๐จ๐ซ๐ฅ๐ ๐›๐ฒ ๐œ๐ก๐š๐ง๐ ๐ข๐ง๐  ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ๐ฌ๐ž๐ฅ๐ฏ๐ž๐ฌ.

Determination

And then it changed.

In our virtual session, all of the participants were viewing images representing different experiences or emotions connected with ๐ซ๐ž๐ฌ๐ข๐ฅ๐ข๐ž๐ง๐œ๐ž. Each participant was to select an image that really resonated with them personally.

I asked the session producer to select one of the many images and asked participants to identify themselves if they had selected that specific image. The producer randomly chose one of those participants… and then it began.

The image chosen – ๐๐ž๐ญ๐ž๐ซ๐ฆ๐ข๐ง๐š๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง.

I asked the participant why this image resonated with her. She then shared a portion of her life story that had been filled with adversity, physical challenge and major setbacks. Yet there was a determination not to let those setbacks get in the way of her own ambitions. In that moment, we all listened intently, in wonder and awe – each of us touched by her emotional testimony. I’ve tried hard to imagine what her life may have been like.

No matter whatever life had thrown at her, she chose to carry on enjoying the challenge of life with optimism, a positive outlook and a gritty determination.

Resilience is a choice, we can all develop much more.

What is your reaction in the face of adversity?