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Self-Mastery

May 10, 2022

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐝𝐨 𝐈 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐈 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤?

In recent months, I have enjoyed too many Dutch desserts (toetjes).

Subsequently, my waistline has expanded a little, by 5 kilo’s or 11 pounds.

Yesterday, I’d eaten healthily and had some exercise too – I was pleased with my progress.

By 8.00pm, my thinking had slowed down, I was starting to relax.

Then it happened!

𝑾𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒅𝒊𝒅 𝑰 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒌 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝑰 𝒅𝒊𝒅𝒏’𝒕 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒌?

I had a craving for something sweet!!!

Do you know that feeling?

I walked in and out of the kitchen a few times.

I’d already had a few pieces of fruit through the day, blueberries, an apple, an orange….

Some raisins perhaps?

I’d had enough fruit.

Then I spotted a chocolate Toblerone bar.

I walked back out of the kitchen.

Luckily Monic was there.

I confessed my thoughts – she said, “You can do this!”

I know I didn’t need it, but I wanted it!

Don’t you?

Then it struck me.

I knew that 30 minutes later I’d regret eating the Toblerone, and it wasn’t worth the five minutes of enjoyment!

A few minutes later, some visitors arrived. After a pleasant short visit, they departed with every piece of chocolate we had in the house – including the Toblerone!

Through a little willpower, self-mastery and a great deal of help from Monic, I realised that present pleasure is nice, but the joys of overcoming, are a much more meaningful reward!

Be ever mindful of your downtime – thoughts come that you may regret!

Rather choose to apply the principles of self-mastery and discipline. A little help from a trusted friend never goes amiss too!

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤?

What path are you on in life?

May 4, 2022

Recently I was asked “Am I on the right path?”

Throughout my life I have observed that small course corrections, can make a dramatic difference to the success we have in our home, family and personal lives.

I recall a message by Dieter F. Uchtdorf who said: “Suppose you were to take off from an airport at the equator, intending to circumnavigate the globe, but your course was off by just one degree. By the time you returned to the same longitude, how far off course would you be? A few miles? A hundred miles? The answer might surprise you. An error of only one degree would put you almost 500 miles (800 km) off course, or one hour of flight for a jet.”

Clearly errors of only a few degrees, minor things even, can sometimes lead to terrible tragedies, disasters and the arrival at a different destination than the one you set out to achieve in the first place. “The longer we delay corrective action, the larger the needed changes become, and the longer it takes to get back on the correct course—even to the point where a disaster might be looming.”

𝐀𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐨𝐟𝐟 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞 𝐚 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞?

What corrective actions do you need to take to get back on course?

Is it simply a matter of taking time to stop… reflect, consider and refocus on what really matters most?

What distractions are in your way?

Distractions: “a thing that prevents someone from concentrating on something else”.

Benjamin Franklin stated ” We stand at the crossroads, each minute, each hour, each day, making choices. We choose the thoughts we allow ourselves to think, the passions we allow ourselves to feel and the actions we allow ourselves to perform. Each choice is made in the context of whatever value system we’ve selected to govern our lives. In selecting that value system, we are, in a very real way, making the most important choice we will ever make”.

As I have grown fond of repeatedly saying recently – your personal values are your sure compass in life. Be true to them, live them, honour them – they are essentially who you really are.

“May we always choose the harder right, instead of the easier wrong” – Thomas S. Monson

From time to time, distractions and errors of judgement will happen.

We all need to accept that, there will occasionally be some moments of real serendipity along the way.

Be mindful to take corrective action, consider what really matters most, refocus and get back on the course that will enable you to arrive safely at your intended destination.

I am fond of a quote by Henry B Eyring, who said that “If you are on the right PATH, it will always be UPHILL” – How true that is!

Like my recent picture from Keukenhof below, there are many beautiful things to see and admire along the path that you choose to follow – if you will take the time to seek them out.

Where will your path lead you today?

Gen Z Children

May 3, 2022

“That is so annoying!” I said to Megan as we laughed and smiled together.

Let me explain by introducing you to our Google Smart Speaker.

I am neither a technophile or technophobe – somewhere in between – I think!

However, after this last experience, I am acutely aware of my limitations!!

A few weeks ago, we had a new Wi-Fi system installed to improve coverage throughout our home.

It meant several devices had to be reconnected, including the smart speaker.

I was mindful of Wendy Nelson’s recent message about her husband, that he never delays! Her words ring in mind, when she shared, “he’d frequently say, “what’s wrong with now?!””

In a like manner, I knuckled down as quick as I could to get all the devices connected again.

The smart speaker however, turned out to be a tricky one.

Eventually, I got it reconnected and was happy.

Then the problem started.

Monic likes to listen one specific radio station here in the Netherlands and despite the fact that the smart speaker was reconnected, it wouldn’t play the station….

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

And thus began the quest to overcome the technical problem.

I researched, I connected, I disconnected, I hunted even more online, I fiddled, I checked settings, I removed google home, I reinstalled google home….. and so forth!!!

Eventually, after many, many hours, over several days, I gave up!

My conclusion – maybe it was something to do with the home settings.

In the meantime, Monic was none too happy about the fact that she was unable to listen to her favourite radio station.

The Solution

Then Megan arrived.

One of our three Gen Z children, a digital native and technical wizard.

I mentioned the problem to Megan one afternoon and explained the situation.

I thought to myself, “Good luck with that, she’ll be busy for an hour or two.”

I left her in the living room and started my walk upstairs to the office.

I had barely sat down for less than a minute, when I heard a clarion call from downstairs “𝐟𝐢𝐱𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐭!”

How annoying is that!!?

I returned downstairs.

Sure enough, the smart speaker was playing Monic’s favourite radio station and has done ever since.

The problem – the speaker thought it was in Scotland and not in the Netherlands!

Megan changed the address and hey presto the music returned.

Moral of the story – Gen Z kids can be annoying at times, but always great to have around to fix technology issues

Thank you Megan – again!!!

I am all alone in this world, or can anyone else relate?

Sweet Reunions

May 1, 2022

𝐒𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐑𝐞𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 were aplenty this week.

Last Sunday evening Megan arrived. The next day we travelled to Brussels together to attend the BYU Ballroom Dancing Company. It had been several weeks since she was last in the Netherlands.

As we travelled together, it was great to catch up and share stories with one another, about how similar we are. Then came a funny coincidence, as without any coordination mother and daughter dressed for the evening and realised that they had both chosen almost identical outfits for the show.

See the picture evidence above!

The evening brought another sweet reunion.

Moroni Wright who had served in the Belgium Netherlands Mission and returned home several months ago, was one of the many talented performers in the BYU Ballroom Dancing Company. The show was amazing, and what a delight it was to see Moroni again and catch up with him once more. It was especially pleasing to see him living his dream, as he longed for the opportunity to perform in this dance company.

And our third sweet reunion was with Kiera and her husband Brendan – who we met for the first time.

It had been several years since our last encounter together. Kiera had become a wonderful friend with Megan, when she was studying in Arizona, in 2016. What a joy it was to see them, share stories together and feel of their love.

Reunions are special

Reunions are special, they are built on love for one another.

Travelling along our own pathway in life, let’s not forget those family and friends who have passed through the gateway to the next life that we call death. I hope that we can turn our hearts to them who have gone on ahead of us. They are not dead, their spirits live on, on the other side of the veil.

In a not-too-distant time there will be a sweet reunion for each and every one of us. We need not look upon death as an enemy.

I was reminded of that this week too, as I walked through the sprawling cemeteries in Ipres, with vast numbers of the dead from WW1.

In Malachi 4:6 we read: “And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse.”

We can begin our own quest for forever families, by considering our ancestors and coming to know them through online tools such as Family Search.

Then take some time to understand why The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has so many Temples around the world. In them, families are united forever. Our missionaries can help explain this further to you.

Sweet reunions await us all.

#HearHim

Exhortation – Menin Gate, Ipres

April 29, 2022

One word played through my mind over and over again on Tuesday, as we visited Ipres, in Belgium and spent the day with missionaries from the Antwerp Zone.

…“𝐒𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠”

Sobering – “making you feel serious or think about serious matters”

Don’t get me wrong, we loved being together all day and had some fun too, but the memories created have been sobering ones of the futility of war.

The constant reminder and experiences throughout the day, were truly sobering of the reality of the ravages of war and in particular the horrors of WW1.

Our well informed and organised guides for the day were Stephan Willems and Marnix Schotte. I am truly grateful for their knowledge, insights and experience they shared all day long.

We visited several fascinating places, museums, trenches, tunnels, a gigantic crater where a huge explosion took vast numbers of soldier’s lives.

Then on to the Christmas truce site – where we sang silent night from opposing trenches together in English and German. We then played football in memory of the game played on Christmas Day 1914.

Afterwards we travelled to Tyne Cot, where we reverently walked around a vast sprawling cemetery.

The Menin Gate

Then onto the Menin Gate where we laid a wreath on behalf of the church. I was also invited to deliver the exhortation, known the world over.

“They shall grow not old,

As we that are left to grow old:

Age shall not weary them,

Nor the years condemn.

At the going down of the sun

And in the morning,

We will remember them.”

The last line was then repeated by the vast crowd in attendance.

Since 1928, every evening at 8pm precisely, the “Last Post” has been sounded under the imposing arches of the Menin Gate.

It was an honour to participate, and it has left an indelible impression on my heart and mind.

It was a sobering sight.

Reflecting upon this day together, I am so grateful for the constant reminders that I received and will always remember.

“When you go Home, tell them of us and say,

For your Tomorrow, we gave our Today”

John Maxwell Edmunds – 1916

What do you want to become?

April 25, 2022

Are you clear about what you want to become?

Dallin H. Oaks, shared this understanding…

“A wealthy father knew that if he were to bestow his wealth upon a child who had not yet developed the needed wisdom and stature, the inheritance would probably be wasted.

The father said to his child: “All that I have I desire to give you—not only my wealth, but also my position and standing among men. That which I have I can easily give you, but that which I am, you must obtain for yourself. You will qualify for your inheritance by learning what I have learned and by living as I have lived. I will give you the laws and principles by which I have acquired my wisdom and stature. Follow my example, mastering as I have mastered, and you will become as I am, and all that I have will be yours.””

I know we can all become the person we were born to be!

At home in our families, our communities and our workplaces.

When we’re desperate to become the people we were born to be, our vision changes.

What is your true identity?

What do you really want to do with your life, family and career?

Through my daily choices – who am I becoming?

Am I progressing in the right direction?

In the nanosecond of life – be mindful of what you choose to become.

Is there a God?

April 12, 2022

Frequently I’m asked – “Is there a God, is there a creator?”

In answer to that question, consider this response…

“What are the odds that a tornado spinning through a junkyard would create a Boeing 747?” – Bruce C. Hafen.

In Alma 30:44, Alma states to Korihor “All things denote there is a God; yea, even the earth, and all things that are upon the face of it, yea, and its motion.”

A study of the sciences, helps us to understand that if the earth were just slightly closer to the sun, then all life on earth would simply be burnt up.

Conversely, if the earth was slightly further from the sun, then all life on earth would freeze!

I choose to believe that a divine power holds things in place through laws that have been irrevocably decreed from long before this earth was created.

I know that no matter what era we live in, we can find peace in the powerful parallels between the scriptures and our own lives.

#BeacuseOfHim

Coincidence or Tender Mercy?

April 10, 2022

Looking Back and Moving Forward.

When – April 2008 (16 years ago)

Where – Conference Centre, Salt Lake City, Utah.

What – General Conference Weekend

Who – the Kleijwegs and the Watsons

Why – I met Chris Kleijweg and Kenneth Johnson for the first time in October 2005, when they extended a call to me to serve as President of the Dundee Scotland Stake. A few weeks later Chris challenged me to attend General Conference with our new Stake Presidency, together with our wife’s.

A year passed by, and Chris’s church assignment changed.

We lost contact.

Little did he know that we were planning a trip to Salt Lake City for the conference sessions in the spring of 2008. It turned out to be the weekend when Thomas S. Monson was sustained as President of the Church.

And then the coincidence. Or was it?

Walking out of the conference centre, that holds 21,000 people, who do we bump into, in the crowds? – the Kleijweg’s!

It was a beautiful reunion.

Little did we know that they would be there!

Coincidence?

Recently, I shared this quote from Gerald N. Lund and I want to share it again… “Sometimes blessings come in such an unusual manner and with such precise timing that they accomplish something in addition to blessing us. They so clearly confirm the reality of God’s existence that they buoy us up in times of trials.”

I believe that a coincidence is not a coincidence when the Lord is involved in what happens. It is in fact His hand, His divine signature if you will.

He is much more involved in our daily lives than we give Him credit for. His Heavenly influence can and does impact the direction of people’s lives, and those things that move God’s work along amongst His children.

As the years passed by, we were both assigned in Public Affairs & Communications, in the UK and the Netherlands respectively.

Recently the roles were reversed, when I called Chris to be a counsellor in the Presidency of the Belgium Netherlands Mission, along with a new friend, Jurgen Hoole.

I know that some of the sweetest experiences in my life have come as I feel His promptings as He directs His work.

Likewise, I also know that when we are striving to do God’s will, He is anxious to bless each one of us with incredible “coincidences” – or in scriptural terms, “a tender mercy of the Lord”.

The Lord’s house is a house of order, and I know He is in charge.

#HearHim

Under Pressure?

April 8, 2022

Under pressure? Feeling stressed? A lot on your plate?

Usually, our first thoughts are to dig deep, work harder and grind through the challenge at hand.

Top Personal Coaching Tip – 𝐏𝐮𝐬𝐡 𝐁𝐚𝐜𝐤!

……And counter those feelings with an opposing action.

It’s a simple thing, but remember to take a break for 15 minutes or longer.

Take a walk, stretch, meditate, breathe, relax, get some fresh air, in other words slow down and be still.

Enjoy the scenery!

I did!

Allowing yourself some mental and emotional freedom from all the pressure, with meaningful slacking time, 𝒂𝒍𝒘𝒂𝒚𝒔 has great rewards.

Oftentimes, that’s when the laughter kicks in!

Do you act or react?

April 6, 2022

Do you act or react?

I like this story told by Dallin H. Oaks…

“I recall a memorable lesson I learned from Chicago Daily News columnist Sydney J. Harris. He wrote:

“I walked with my friend, a Quaker, to the newsstand the other night, and he bought a paper, thanking the newsie politely. The newsie didn’t even acknowledge it.

“‘A sullen fellow, isn’t he?’ I commented.

“‘Oh, he’s that way every night,’ shrugged my friend.

“‘Then why do you continue to be so polite to him?’ I asked.

“‘Why not?’ inquired my friend. ‘Why should I let him decide how I’m going to act?’

“As I thought about this incident later, it occurred to me that the important word was ‘act.’ My friend acts toward people; most of us react toward them. He has a sense of inner balance which is lacking in most of us; he knows who he is, what he stands for, how he should behave. He refuses to return incivility for incivility, because then he would no longer be in command of his conduct” (“Do You Act—Or React?” condensed from the Chicago Daily News).”

Reflecting on this story, it challenges each of us to focus our attention on the individual responses that we must make, to the personal adversities sure to impact upon each of us throughout our lives – sometimes even daily!

Choosing

Each of us have the power to choose what to do, in essence to act, and not simply be acted upon.

In most encounters in life, it is my sense that we can determine the kind of experience we are going to have by how we respond.

How we choose to act and behave ultimately shapes our character. Charles A. Hall aptly described that due process in these lines:

– We sow our thoughts, and we reap our actions;

– We sow our actions, and we reap our habits;

– We sow our habits, and we reap our characters;

– We sow our characters, and we reap our destiny”

May we always remember that “A soft answer turneth away wrath.”- Proverbs 15:1

How can you choose to act and not be acted upon?

Self-Mastery

What path are you on in life?

𝐀𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐨𝐟𝐟 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞 𝐚 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞?

Gen Z Children

The Solution

Sweet Reunions

Reunions are special

Exhortation – Menin Gate, Ipres

The Menin Gate

What do you want to become?

Is there a God?

Coincidence or Tender Mercy?

Coincidence?

Under Pressure?

Do you act or react?

Choosing

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