The Power of Being Heard

Recently, while running a virtual learning session for an organisation, a particularly thorny issue surfaced.
Several participants raised it at once.
Supportive comments began to fill the chat and thumbs-up emojis followed.
It clearly struck a chord with everyone.
I slowed down and paused.
My first instinct was, how can I help fix this?
But in that pause, something clicked for me.
I looked at what was happening, not just the words being used, but the energy in the room (even a virtual one).
I realised we’d created something important: a psychologically safe space.
And in that space, those participants weren’t actually asking for solutions, nor were they looking for me to jump in and fix anything.
They simply wanted to be heard.
And I mean 𝒕𝒓𝒖𝒍𝒚 heard.
That moment reminded me of what I’ve learned again and again in coaching: people don’t always need answers.
They often don’t need you to solve their problems, how could you really anyway?
What they need is to feel understood.
To know that someone is genuinely listening, without judgement or a checklist of fixes at hand.
This is empathy in action.
Not the soft, fluffy kind that gets tossed around far too easily, but the grounded, humankind.
In that space we stop trying to solve everything and instead sit with people in their reality.
We listen not to reply, but to understand.
Sometimes the most powerful thing we can offer isn’t a solution.
It’s simply our presence.
What gets in the way of your ability to just listen?

Defining Experiences

Over the weekend, we spent time with a dear friend, Phenix Kline, and her husband, Sam, who we met for the first time.
They were visiting from California.
It has been 11 years since we first met Phenix, when she was a full-time missionary in Dunfermline.
She visited our home regularly back then, always with warmth and a quiet strength.
As we talked and reminisced, Phenix began sharing stories from those visits – small, seemingly ordinary moments to us.
But to her, they weren’t ordinary at all.
They were defining.
She remembered the feelings, the kindness and the impact, those moments had upon her.
The was one story in particular she shared about a pivotal leadership session I had facilitated for her and a number of her colleagues at the time.
I’d walked into the room with a whole bunch of leadership and personal development books and talked about each of them 1 by 1.
That moment, along with a few others had shaped her life in ways we never knew at the time.
It reminded me of something important: We often have no idea which parts of our lives will leave a mark on others.
And that is particularly the case, not only in the facilitation of a leadership or coaching session, but also in our day-to-day friendships and conversations.
We often learn so much in our quiet, everyday interactions.
And yet, they can echo for years.
What small moment have you been part of lately that might matter more than you think?

Lessons from our Plum Tree

Six years ago, we planted a plum tree in the corner of our garden.
Monic was keen to give it a go with a couple of apple trees too.
It felt like a bit of an experiment.
Yesterday, as I stood before the plum tree’s heavy branches, the plums were full, blushing with colour, and I think this year will be our best harvest yet.
For me, it’s simply impossible not to see the spiritual reflection in the tree.
The scriptures are rich with imagery drawn from the land, such as vineyards, fig trees, wheat fields, branches, and fruit, Jesus Himself using these metaphors over and over again.
They speak of work and growth, of patience, of what it means to truly abide.
In John 15, Christ declares, “I am the true vine, and my Father is the husbandman.”
He goes on to say that we are the branches, and that no branch bears fruit unless it abides in the vine.
To me, that’s such a clear and powerful message.

We need each other…

The branch can’t produce anything on its own.
Cut off, it dries up, withers and dies.
But even the vine, strong and rooted though it is, does not yield fruit without the branch.
Working together, in harmony, one gives life, the other bears fruit.
At least, that’s what I see in our tree.
The rootstock is strong, having endured storms, warm summers, and cold winters.
The branches didn’t bear fruit right away.
Like us, they had to mature through careful pruning and care.
Monic, too, had to learn when to water, when to cut, and when to wait.
Now the branches are heavy with lovely fruit.
And it is so with our walk-through life with Jesus Christ.
Being rooted in Him isn’t a one-time decision, it’s a constant daily connection.
Growth comes in time to carry the fruit, enduring different seasons life brings, responding to pruning, and holding fast to the vine.
In time, and with the Lord’s tending, the fruit comes.
As we pick the plums, we’ll be mindful of the years it took, the patience required, and the grace that made them grow.
What kind of fruit is your life producing, and what are you rooted in?

A Perfect Placement

A few months ago, I found myself in Melrose for the first time – a beautiful little town in the Scottish Borders.
Monic and I took a lovely drive down.
And what a delightful place it is!
I was there on a mission: to find an internship placement for Aubrie, a Brigham Young University (BYU) student I’d met in Provo, Utah back in December 2024.
Her request was a tall one – somewhere with strong Roman historical links.
After some digging around the whole of Scotland, I struck gold: the Trimontium Museum right in the heart of Melrose.
Rome in Melrose! 😍
One of the great joys of my work is finding and organising placements for outstanding BYU students.
They bring energy, curiosity, and a real passion for learning wherever they go – and it’s a privilege to support them.
I’m always on the lookout for more student placement opportunities across Scotland and Ireland.
If you know an organisation (small or large) that could welcome a bright, motivated intern, I’d love to hear from you.

Shoulder to Shoulder

Life is complex and human beings are complex.
In my lifetime, I’ve had the privilege of working with people from all walks of life and from a host of different nations and cultures.
Subsequently, in the various professional and voluntary roles I’ve enjoyed, I am a witness to the happiness and joy life can bring for many, along with the problems and challenges that come along too.
In so many ways, our life can be good, great even – and then in an instant, it can be filled with disappointment, grief, anguish, misery and pain.
There is one thing I know for sure, and that is life will intermittently bring challenges to each and every one of us, arriving when we least expect them, in good times or bad.
We all experience difficult times in our lives, and then we must endure for a while.
Yet, in the trials, there are frequently many opportunities for growth and learning.

Coaching and Leadership

That’s where coaching and leadership come in.
As John Wooden said, “A good coach can change a game, a great coach can change a life.”
I’ve seen this in action countless times, not just on playing fields, but in workplaces, communities, congregations, and moments of personal crisis.
One of my most vivid memories was sitting quietly by a dear friend’s side in hospital.
I didn’t have the right words, and maybe there weren’t any.
But I listened. I was present.
And in the stillness, they turned to me and said, “Thanks for being here, you give me confidence.”
That moment reminded me that leadership isn’t always about grand gestures, rather, it’s often about showing up, holding space, and helping others believe in their own strength.
Coaching is about helping people find clarity in the fog, and strength they didn’t know they had.
Leadership is about creating an environment where people can thrive, even when the road is rough.
While we can’t always control what happens, we can control how we respond and with the right support, people are capable of amazing resilience.
Life’s challenges are inevitable.
But with guidance, encouragement, and shared purpose, they can become the very stepping stones that carry us to our next best chapter.
Who in your life right now might be waiting for you to simply show up, listen, and help them believe in their own strength?

A 400-year leap

One of my favourite ways to start a learning session is with an icebreaker I call “A conversation with a Time Traveller.”
Two people pair up: one plays someone from the early 1600s, the other plays a modern-day person, it’s like having a conversation with one of your ancestors.
The 2025 partner’s job is to choose something the 1600s person wouldn’t recognise.
Something like a smartphone, Netflix, or a drive-thru, and then try to explain it in a way they can grasp.
The fun comes from realising how hard it is to describe something so normal to us, yet so weird to them.
It’s a reminder that things and our understanding of them, can change dramatically over time.
The same is true with the gospel of Jesus Christ.
The scriptures often speak to people in the language and symbols of their day.
For instance, a shepherd, a fisherman, a farmer in ancient times would hear parables, yet only to those spiritually ready, were revealed the mysteries of the kingdom of heaven.
Concerning the parables of Jesus, Howard W. Hunter said: “They are so simple a child can understand, yet profound enough for the sage and philosopher.”

Our Understanding Today

That was true for someone living in the 1600s, and in our digital world of today.
Those same teachings sometimes require a new frame of reference for us to truly understand.
Jesus promised that the Spirit would “guide you into all truth” (John 16:13).
I know that God meets us where we are and teaches us in ways we can truly understand.
In our time in Belgium and the Netherlands, I saw many young missionaries learn to speak to people from different cultures and in many different languages, as they slowed down to understand.
In the same way, we can learn to share the gospel in ways that make sense to others, no matter how different their “world” may be from ours.
It starts by listening first, seeing through their eyes, hearing with their ears, and understanding their questions, as if we were in their shoes, before we even speak.
Just like in the icebreaker, it takes patience, creativity, and a willingness to see through someone else’s perspective.
The gospel never changes, but the way we understand and share it must speak the language of the listener – whether they come from the 1600s, the 21st century, or anywhere in between.
How might you prepare today to better connect with the “time travellers” you meet tomorrow?

Doorstep Deals

The doorbell rang.
A stranger stood there offering milk delivery.
I replied “we don’t use milk, rather oat milk” …
Thinking that would be the end of it.
He paused.
Smiled.
Then said, “we deliver that too.”
A minute or two later I signed up.
And now twice a week, a glass bottle of oat milk appears on our doorstep.
No plastic, no fuss, just a thick, creamy bottle of local oat milk that tastes better than anything off the supermarket shelf.
It’s a small, nostalgic thing, that takes me back to my youth and hearing the clinking of bottles in the early morning.
Back to when the milkman was part of everyday streel life, quiet, consistent and reliable.
And now, in 2025, it’s happening again, only this time, it’s oat milk!
And here is the sales leadership lesson.
In the moment I positioned my “no” statement…
He listened, adapted and offered something I actually needed.
Just a person, building trust, one doorstep at a time.
This oat milk delivery isn’t just convenient; it’s a small reminder that progress doesn’t have to mean forgetting the past.
I’m off to put out my empties…
What old idea might you bring back, and do better?

The Oscar Shift

On Saturday, Monic and I headed to Glasgow bright and early for a very special first: our first all-day grandparent babysitting assignment – a full 12 hours!
A whole day with Oscar, something we’d both been looking forward to with excitement (and maybe a touch of nervous anticipation too).
From the moment we stepped through the door, it was full-on Oscar time.
Playing, singing, reading, pushing him in his pram, feeding him (yoghurt was a clear favourite), changing nappies, carrying him around, and watching him explore the world from the speed and freedom of his walker.
He’s not crawling or walking yet, but that didn’t stop him from finding his way into every corner of every room.
Somehow the cat litter tin storage box was his favourite thing to get into!
There must have been something about the lid and the noise it made every time he dropped it on the floor…😁
He was in great spirits all day, smiling constantly, curious about everything.
That said, we really enjoyed the short reprieves during each nap time to catch our breath. 😴
By the time we returned home, we were surprised at just how tired we felt – exhausted!
I was deadbeat.

Life Lessons

After reflecting, we realised it wasn’t simply the physical busyness, rather, it was the constant alertness.
We were on guard the entire day, watching for hazards, anticipating needs, and making sure every moment, he was safe and happy.
It’s the kind of attention that takes energy.
And it got me thinking, that this is true far beyond babysitting.
In family life, leadership, coaching, mentoring, or any relationship where we care deeply, real commitment isn’t passive.
It’s active.
It means staying engaged, noticing small signals, and anticipating the next step before it becomes a crisis.
Being “on guard” isn’t about fear, it’s much more about caring, being ready, and fully present.
Where in your life right now would greater alertness make the biggest difference?

The Crazy Zone

Coming home from a mission can be a disorienting time – that’s because you’re certainly not the same person who left.
Words like weird, unsettled, strange, challenging, and hard come up in nearly every conversation I have with returned missionaries.
And after 200+ coaching conversations in recent months, I can say one thing for sure, you’re just in the neutral zone.
In my experiences, there is nothing so unchanging, so inevitable as change itself.
Yet, we can confuse change with transition. Change is external – it’s coming home, starting school, getting a job, seeing family and friends. Transition is internal. It’s what your mind and heart go through as you adjust to the new reality.
One of the best frameworks I use in coaching is William Bridges’ Transition Model, which breaks transition into three stages:
1. 𝐄𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 – Letting go of what was.
2. 𝐍𝐞𝐮𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐥 𝐙𝐨𝐧𝐞 – The in-between, uncertain, disoriented time.
3. 𝐍𝐞𝐰 𝐁𝐞𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 – When the new identity and rhythm take shape.
In many recent conversations, I’ve found a few returned missionaries stuck in the neutral zone, oftentimes called the crazy zone.
You don’t feel fully part of your mission anymore, but you’re not fully settled back into life at home either.
Remember, “It must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things.” – 2 Nephi 2:11
It’s a strange in-between space where routines are missing, identity feels unclear, and emotions can be all over the place.
At times, this zone can apply to each of us, and it isn’t failure, rather it’s new growth!
This is the real path of transformation and sometimes it will feel up hill, slow, or like you’re even going backward.
Life can be like a series of hills and valleys, and yet I know that the best growth often comes in the valleys.
It’s important to hold on to your anchor habits that grounded you during your mission:
• 𝐏𝐫𝐚𝐲𝐞𝐫 – You still have your direct line to the Lord, so use it.
• 𝐒𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐝𝐲 – Insights will often come in small, daily doses.
• 𝐒𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐜𝐞 – Shifting focus from yourself to others will help
• 𝐆𝐨𝐚𝐥 𝐬𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 – You can still set inspired goals.
You don’t need to live your daily mission schedule – but you can continue your routines.
Yes, there is pain in the transition period, but it will not last forever – patience, love, and long-suffering are needed.
What small habit is helping you stay anchored right now?

The Power of Networking

A few days ago, out of the blue I received a message on LinkedIn…
“It’s great to meet you. I’m a friend of Brian J. Grim and he mentioned your name to me when I told him I’ll be visiting Scotland. I’ll be visiting the Dundee area this weekend!”
That was the beginning of my association with Robert.
He simply reached out.
We had a few back n forward messages on LinkedIn and established that due to various meeting commitments we could meet for lunch in Edinburgh.
We’d never met before in our life, yet we had so many mutual connections, shared interests and values, it just felt like a good idea to sit down and chat!
And I’m glad we did.
We met up a couple of days ago.
It was extremely uncanny about our life’s similarities, personal interests and general like-mindedness!
We talked about everything from social media, BYU, religious freedom, faith, coaching, leadership, goal setting, career development, and a whole host of personal friends and professional colleagues in our network.
We enjoyed our 90-minute conversation together so much, we determined to keep in touch.
And what is the lesson?
Don’t underestimate the value of reaching out—or saying yes when someone else does.
Just one single message can spark a connection that grows into something meaningful.
In today’s world, relationships and networking are crucial.
Networking can and does open doors.
Take the time to connect.
It has been my experience that the true value of networking lies in the quality of relationships rather than in the number of connections we might have.
Ideas and opportunities arise in our conversations every day and spread through people so quickly now.
And all of it – support, insight, inspiration, often begins with a simple hello and someone reaching out.
Its been my experience that you just never know where a single connection might lead.
That is the power of networking.
Who’s someone you’ve been meaning to reach out to?