lost Luggage

Returning from London Kings Cross last Friday, the train pulled into my stop at Inverkeithing.
I arose from my seat and went to collect my luggage.
I’d deposited it nearly 5 hours earlier, in the luggage rack, but sadly, it was gone!
I searched all of the overhead rack space in the carriage, but no joy either.
A passenger, sitting in front of the rack said, “there was a bit of an altercation at Haymarket, maybe they’ve taken your luggage by mistake!”… Ouch… ☹
And that was it, I had to alight the train quickly, before it departed for its next stop.
I always take the plane to London and this was my first time on a return trip on the train in years.
Ticketing issues made the trip down difficult and now on the return my luggage was gone, my experience was disappointing.

Now What?

Then I met “Warren” the platform train “despatcher.”
In a friendly and polite manner, “Come in…” he said.
What followed were many telephone calls, notetaking, online form filling with London North Eastern Railway (LNER), British Transport Police BTP (was it stolen?) and a reassurance from him that all would be okay in the end.
His departing comment was, “I’ll call Aberdeen in a couple of hours, it’ll probably be there.”
Warren was more enthusiastic than me. At that stage, I wasn’t quite so certain of a positive outcome.
Later that evening, we spoke and happily I was informed, it was indeed in Aberdeen.
“They can either send it down, or you can collect it…” said Warren.
The quickest way was to drive to Aberdeen (200 miles/5 hours/£35 fuel round trip) on Saturday morning.

Saturday

Arising early, off I went.
The Scotrail staff in Aberdeen were equally eager to help and pleasant too.
The downside was I picked up a parking ticket as I was convinced it was a pay on exit, as I couldn’t see
any pay + display signs when I entered the railway station car park. I’d never been there before. That’ll cost me at least another £60, if I pay within 2 weeks. Should I appeal, I was still anxious after all?
Returning to Inverkeithing on Saturday afternoon, I met up with Warren again and thanked him for his efforts for going the extra mile. “Enjoy your chocolates…” I added.
He had restored my faith in ScotRail, and I acknowledged that there are still good helpful people.
He told me that he too was grateful and that I had restored his faith in people too. He said that I was one of the very few who had treated him respectfully and with dignity, instead of being shouted at or lambasted for the loss of luggage.
Customer Service is the backbone of any good company, and in Warren, Scotrail certainly have one of the best. Look out for him on Platform 1 at Inverkeithing next time.
Thank you, Warren, and thank you Scotrail for taking care of my luggage for me.
What is your experience with lost luggage?

Fruits

And off we went on our morning sabbatical.
We decided to take a route we hadn’t been on for years.
Halfway through we settled on returning home via a yet untried rambling journey!
It was a thoroughly enjoyable exploratory detour!
Taking our time, we discovered hedgerows aplenty, heavily laden with ripe blackberries.
Having recently purchased some blackberries in our local supermarket, we were well acquainted with the astronomical cost of 150 grams (5 oz)!
And here they were in abundance!!
If only we were more prepared.
Our foraging results enabled us to carry a good handful home, a heavenly bounty indeed.
The blackberries were delicious – juicier, fresher, sweeter, tastier and best of all – FREE!
We hadn’t set out to find fruit, but nevertheless it was a magical discovery, much to our delight.

Gospel Fruits

All this wealth of fruit got me thinking about some familiar scriptures.
I know there are many people today looking to satisfy their hunger for meaningful “fruits” in their own lives.
The Lord said to the people in his day, and also to us in His sermon on the Mount: “By their fruits ye shall know them.” – Matthew 7:20.
“For a good tree bringeth not forth corrupt fruit; neither doth a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit.
“… Every tree is known by his own fruit.” – Luke 6:43-44
In addition, the Apostle Paul lists the fruits of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22–23, as “love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, and temperance.”
These fruits are available in our day.
There is a bounteous harvest freely available to all.
In John 15:5 we read “I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.”
Living the gospel of Jesus Christ, yields much delicious fruit.
President Russell M. Nelson said, “My dear brothers and sisters, you are living exemplars of the fruits that come from following the teachings of Jesus Christ.”
If your own foraging has yielded a poor harvest thus far, filled with empty promises, dry, stale, sour and bland fruit, then I suggest you speak with a missionary of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I promise you a mouth-watering bowlful of yummy fruit waiting for your enjoyment.

The Good Old Days

We are made up of our memories.
And last night a few came flooding back, as Phil Gibbins and I took a stroll down memory lane….
Stepping back in time, we met at our old Oliver Wyman office at 55 Baker Street in London, followed by a meandering walk in the area and then to a favourite restaurant on Marylebone High Street.
We exchanged a warm hug; joyful smiles were ever present, and our conversation flowed easily as we engaged with one another to reminisce about “𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒈𝒐𝒐𝒅 𝒐𝒍𝒅 𝒅𝒂𝒚𝒔”.

Storytelling

As we shared our fun memories, there were stories galore and the air was filled with frequent laughter as we spoke about our crazy antics.
Together we’d weathered some notable experiences during our time frame of shared history, working side by side from 2008 – 2012.
Nostalgic moments, as we felt the power of the past that shaped our present.
Days never to be forgotten!
Over the years, although we’d connected once or twice in bite size chunks on LinkedIn and Zoom, those feelings were simply not the same as seeing each other after such a long time, in real life, to share a drink and meal together.
It was a heart warming reunion, a shared rekindling of a connection that time will never erode.

Life Happens

Life has happened and we are no longer who we once were, the signs of the passage of time had taken their toll!
Our night wasn’t just about the past, as we got caught up on each other’s current lives our aspirations and how much we had changed.
It was an occasion to reflect and appreciate just how far we had come.
A little older and perhaps a little wiser, but still as cantankerous as ever!
“It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.”- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Maintaining ties with the past is so important.
Meeting up with Phil last night reminded me of the old Joseph Parry quote, “Make new friends but keep the old. One is silver, and the other is gold.” – it’s just so true.
As the night came to a close, we recalled our taxi driver “Malcolm” who’d regularly pick us up at Manchester Airport, and the priceless discovery that after all those years he was still on the speed dial of my phone!
Departing, we promised each other that we wouldn’t leave it so many years until we met again, perhaps next time too, with a few other former colleagues alongside for good measure!
What is the most interesting or funniest memory you’ve taken away from a reunion?

Stretching, Growing and Learning

Over many years, I have had the opportunity and privilege to work in many leadership roles.
Lessons in leadership come in many ways.
I’ve certainly been stretched on many occasions as I struggled to get my head around the particular challenge of the day.
I’ve grown too in knowledge and understanding about how to handle many difficult situations.
And, I have learned so much about people, behaviours and what it means to be a good leader by putting the interests and needs of others first.
Oftentimes, I have benefited too from the guidance of other leaders who have inspired me.
Reflecting upon the last three years in Belgium and the Netherlands, working with 300+ young 18 – 26-year-old future potential leaders, I learned many lessons.

Stretching…

Time and time again, stretching opportunities came along for each of them to learn new skills.
Daily, growth opportunities arose for all of them to take on new challenges.
And regularly they all had opportunities to receive constructive feedback through 1-1 and team coaching/mentoring sessions.
Together we celebrated our successes.
When times were tough, when failures happened, we’d counsel with one another and figure out how to improve.
We learned a lot about slowing down.
Partnering with them, empowering them and trusting them to deliver their best work was key.
In any new growth situation, where we are learning and growing, our focus on what matters most is paramount.
Stretching happened every day.
And like many physical exercises, it is easy to grow tired!
No pain, no gain!
Small steps and little victories are key to forward progress.
Leadership guru, John Maxwell whilst speaking about the Law of the Rubber Band said; “Growth stops when you lose the tension between where you are and where you could be. There are many uses for a rubber band, but it’s of no use or value until it’s stretched.”
Just like a rubber band, you will never reach your full potential unless you are stretched!
Frequently, I was asked “How do I become a better leader?”
To start, take yourself out of your comfort zone and be prepared to be stretched.
Embrace the tension and put the resistance to work!
What kind of things are stretching you at the moment?

Pilgrims

Since returning home to Scotland, Monic and I have done a lot of walking.
We love to take a walk every day.
Yesterday, I took a long walk around our home city of Dunfermline.
I noticed something I hadn’t seen before on lots of lamp posts, that read “Fife Pilgrim Way”.
I never knew there was such a route in Dunfermline, so I started to follow the signs.
They directed me through the Glen, to the Abbey and then to the library, the historic quarter.
In the Library window, I found a book “The Fife Pilgrim Way”.
It set me off on a little quest in the afternoon and I found this interesting website about the Fife Pilgrim Way.
I learned a whole lot of things.
From the 11th to 16th centuries, pilgrims in their thousands walked between the northern and southern edges of the kingdom of Fife, enroute to the great cathedral in Saint Andrews.

What is a Pilgrim?

𝐏𝐢𝐥𝐠𝐫𝐢𝐦: “a person who journeys to a sacred place for religious reasons.”
In Latin it comes from the word peregrinus, meaning “one who has come from afar.”
Pilgrimages have long been a common feature of many world religions, including Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, and Shinto.
Today, millions of people make pilgrimages to a wide array of holy sites every year.
It got me thinking about my own pilgrimage in life.
A pilgrimage is a journey to a holy place, which for some, can lead to a personal transformation, after which the pilgrim normally returns to their daily life routines.
Having just returned from our mission in Belgium and the Netherlands, we discovered many people seeking for purpose, meaning, truth and personal growth.
I know too, of dear friends who made remarkable discoveries of their own as they embarked upon a pilgrimage that transformed them as they came to a knowledge of Jesus Christ.
Daily, throughout the world there are many modern-day pilgrims, on personal quests who come from “afar.”
Dieter F. Uchtdorf said “We are pilgrims walking the road of mortality in a grand search for meaning and ultimate truth.”
In essence, we are all pilgrims seeking God’s direction as we journey on our path through mortal life, far from our heavenly home.
To my fellow Christian pilgrims everywhere, the three most powerful behavioural words the Saviour spoke were “Come, follow me” (Luke 18:22) and that invitation continues today, as we journey on our miraculous pilgrimage through life.
I hope you choose to follow too, He is “the way…” – John 14:6.

Reading the Room

Some years ago, I was sat in a room in a hi-powered negotiation for a major multi-million-pound contract for the company I was working for.
Discussions, pricing, and contract negotiations had been going on for several weeks.
It was time for our final meeting to agree the contract.
I’ll never forget that meeting, as I did something I’d never done before.

And so it began…

It was immediately evident that they were trying very hard to undo some of our previous agreements to find a more satisfactory arrangement for their company.
I had prepared well for the negotiation and was aware of any concessions that could be made.
Having been through many negotiations before, I knew the importance of being able to read the room, by listening for facts, details, or any signals and feelings that could arise.
Tuning in, I felt the vibe was different than our previous meetings.
I recall the body language, the vocal tones, raised eyebrows, the fleeting smiles and even frowns that day.
Those tiny facial micro expressions helped me to read between the lines, the nuances of what was being said, clues if you will, as to what was actually going on, that helped me to understand the dynamics in the room and individual emotional states.
Essentially, it was about trying to figure out or understand how the others in the room were thinking, without them actually saying something.
I worked hard to mirror and match the energy and tone of the others in order to connect with them.

Tactics

The lead negotiator from the other side was trying very hard to squeeze me on price by another 2% (read tens of thousands of pounds) and were in a hurry to close out the contract negotiations and give me the contract that day.
The win-win for us both, was becoming a win-lose for me.
It just felt-off.
They were keen for me to shake hands and sign the deal.

Now what?

Looking around the room, taking a deep breath, boldly and risking all, I thanked them for their time, closed my folder, packed up and left.
The negotiation was over.
Within an hour, they called me.
The additional 2% demand was removed, I signed, and we agreed the contract.
Whether it’s a presentation to a large audience, or an important meeting or negotiation, be mindful of reading the room.
It takes a little practice, but stop, look and listen for those non-verbal clues, they’re always there.
How can you “read the room” better?

Heart to Heart

If your heart could speak, what would it say?
What does it really long to say?
What does it long to hear?
Being away for three years, has meant a lot of catch-up conversations recently.
Dialogue, with many dear friends and family, home and abroad, face to face and online.
Reflecting this morning on those conversations, I’ve realised that many of them have been heart to heart.

A definition…

Heart to Heart – “a serious conversation between two people, usually close friends, in which they talk honestly about their feelings.”
They haven’t been trivial or inconsequential.
Rather they’re deeper, somehow they feel much more vital and nourishing to each other’s souls, allowing our hearts to really connect.
There has been much more giving and receiving.
In addition, they have also created an even stronger relationship of mutual trust and understanding.
I have even listened to a lot of heartfelt emotions that I wasn’t aware of before.
And interestingly, I’ve begun to understand myself even more.
Significantly, there has been more undivided attention in those moments.
As the dialogue emerges from each other’s heart, the conversations are vulnerable and delicate.
Maybe it’s because for the first time in a while I have more time and am less distracted, but I have found that I am more thoughtful, more compassionate and found it easier to listen with more love.
I have learned to listen, reflect and respond in that order once more.
And I have also been reminded that without having open vulnerable dialogue – we cannot and will not grow.
Moments of struggle have been openly shared.
It is important too, to mean what you say and say what you mean.
Someone once said ““The beauty of a heart-to-heart conversation is that it allows us to share our deepest fears, joys, and dreams, knowing that we will be met with empathy and kindness.”
As I restart my coaching practice, I look forward to many more of these quite remarkable conversations.
“We are only as strong as we are united, as weak as we are divided.” – J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire)
When was the last time you had a heart-to-heart conversation with someone?

Promptings

In my prayers one morning this week, I specifically asked that I’d recognise any subtle promptings or spiritual insights that day.
Arising from my knees, I made my to do list for the day and set off getting things done.
Late morning, instead of driving to visit my mum, I felt to take a 45-minute walk instead.
After a lovely visit with mum, I set off for home.

Insightful detour

I felt to take a longer route home, a slight detour.
This route took me near the house of a dear old friend, who I hadn’t seen in a few years.
Approaching the house, I had a feeling to ring the bell, but I chose to ignore the thought.
At the front door, the thought came for the second time… “ring the bell” again, I chose to ignore the prompting.
About 5 metres after passing by the house, the prompting came the third time, much louder “Go back. Ring the bell.”
I stopped.
I turned around, walked back a few steps and rang the bell.
Once – No answer. Twice – No answer. On the third time, the door creaked open and there was my dear old friend….
“Paul” my friend said. “No, it’s Daryl” I replied.
I was ushered inside.
We visited for about an hour.

How can I help?

I listened intently and asked if there was anything I could do.
I returned the next afternoon with medications and listened again a while longer.
I know that spiritual promptings come.
We simply need to recognise them, listen intently and have faith to take action.
In one of their many “Don’t Miss This” series, David Butler and Emily Freeman call these moments “Compassionate Detours.”
Reviewing Matthew Chapter 9 they considered a day in the life of Jesus Christ.
“But when he saw the multitudes, he was moved with compassion on them.” – Matthew 9:38.
On several occasions, He stopped and ministered, compassionately to the one.
Why not look out for a compassionate detour today…
Stop long enough to heed and listen to the promptings – that always come.
In the busyness of your complex life, do you notice the needs of others?

Thinking Together

I marvel at the thoughts, insights and commitment that I see from my colleagues and dear friends in my leadership, learning, coaching, mentoring, training and facilitation network.
It is clear to me that they are learning from their own journeys and experiences of life.
Willingly, freely and regularly they share those learnings with others.
There is a great power in all of our journeys.
There are critical learning points and instruction all along the way.
We just need to slow down long enough to learn those lessons for ourselves.

Potential

As learning protagonists, professional coaches and mentors, our responsibility is to help unleash the real potential of those people with whom we work.
And how do we do that?
One meaningful conversation at a time.
My personal witness is that I have seen many individuals figuratively take a step into the “unknown” with a good coach or mentor by their side.
How have you grown these last few years?
What leadership lessons have you learned through your journey in life?

…thy might

Reflecting this morning, I was mindful of a scripture in Ecclesiastes 9:10.
“Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might…”
In the world in which we live, there is much worthwhile work for every one of us to do.
And when we do, we must remember these words from Solomon in Ecclesiastes.
That we must go and do, whatever it is, with our might!
And going and doing at times may mean a lot of actual work.
And yet, once again, I am grateful for my peers and fellow coaches who have found something to do and choose to go and do it with their might.
With the help of a coach or mentor, all of us must come to an honest, open self-examination, an awareness within, as to who and what we want to be, do and achieve.
“To the noble art of getting things done we must add the more noble art of leaving things undone.” – ancient oriental saying.
Coping with the complex and diverse challenges of everyday life, which by itself, is not an easy task, can upset the balance and harmony we seek.
I know of many good people who care a great deal and are trying very hard to maintain balance, but they sometimes feel overwhelmed and defeated.
If that’s you – then reach out to a good coach or mentor today, with their might, they “might” be able to help you along your journey in life.

Wedding #30

Finally!
Over the last three years, we have received numerous wedding invitations (approximately #30 so far) from our missionaries after they return home from Belgium and the Netherlands.
Serving a mission in Europe and the location of the majority of weddings (North America) have made it impossible for us to attend any!
This weekend was different.
We made it to Sheffield to be with Lea and Harrison.
What a joy it was to be with them, their family and friends.
Early on Saturday morning, I received a rather unusual request from Harrison.

Authority

“So, my Bishop was potentially going to do a fake ceremony for us again in the evening for the guests that aren’t there in the morning, but he can’t make it now. I’m sorry it is so last minute, but would you be able to do that for us?”
Civilly, they were married in the chapel in the morning.
Eternally, they were married (sealed) in the temple in the afternoon.
And for the third time in the evening, they took their vows again with the fake imposter minister!
It was fun to be asked and fun to help out, as I shared the words of their vows again.
It got me thinking about authority and on this occasion my lack of it!
Whilst serving as a Bishop, then Stake President in the church, I had the legal authority to perform many civil marriage ceremonies. That authority ended when I was released from the position.
The authority to unite families forever in the temple is called the sealing power. It is the same power that Jesus gave to His Apostles during His ministry on earth. (Matthew 16:19.)
An eternal marriage is therefore called a sealing.
Unlike marriages that last only “until death do you part,” temple sealings ensure that death cannot separate loved ones.
I love these words from one of our church hymns #300:
“Families can be together forever
Through Heavenly Father’s plan.
I always want to be with my own family,
And the Lord has shown me how I can.”
I am so grateful for our sealing in the London temple in 1994.
And I look forward to attending many more events in the years ahead.
If you want to know more about temple sealings, speak with a missionary today.