A Ball of String

Recently I was asked, “As a facilitator, what are your favourite learning tools in your backpack?”
I smiled…
There are many “essentials” that I carry in my backpack when I facilitate a workshop.
– Pens, markers (sharpies or neuland refillables), dry board markers, paper, post it notes.
– CCS Cards, Organisation Cards and other cards to write on
– My laptop, a pointer/clicker, extra batteries, an external mouse and a thumb drive.
– Masking tape.
– Power adaptors
– Rubber bands and Paper clips
And last but not least, my very favourite, it goes everywhere, my 𝒃𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒐𝒇 𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈!
It’s a short list but these few supplies have gotten me out of a lot of jams, consistently bring energy to the room, and help me to create memorable moments in any learning session.
So why a ball of string?
A simple ball of string is often underestimated, but it is a highly effective tool in facilitation.
Its versatility makes it a powerful symbol and practical tool for measuring and demonstrating different behaviours and concepts in various workshops.
Here are 2 simple examples of how I’ve used it recently…

Example 1

As a measurement tool, by using it as a line on the floor and asking participants to gauge their thoughts and feelings about something.
For example, I explain that one end of the line is “Strongly Agree,” the opposite end is “Strongly Disagree,” and the middle represents a neutral stance.
The activity always involves making decisions about how much they agree or disagree with statements or questions that I ask.
On every occasion, I invite participants to position themselves on the line to indicate their view, leading to some fascinating discussion and varied opinions.
Another one I use string for is to help people understand the importance of connection and communication within a team.

Example 2

When one person talks or shares an idea, they hold onto the string and toss the ball to someone else.
As the string weaves across the group, it creates a visual web of connections, symbolising how each person’s input influences the others.
It can be a powerful illustration of interdependency in any team, and how communication flows through and binds a team together.
A ball of string is more than a basic tool as it can symbolise and practically demonstrate essential leadership behaviours.
What’s in your backpack?

Psychological Safety and Experiential Learning – A Powerful Combination

Creating a psychologically safe space combined with experiential learning can lead to transformative leadership development, enabling participants to engage more deeply, reflect more openly, and grow more meaningfully.

In my recent leadership workshop with the senior management team (SMT) of Stovax Gazco, we incorporated several learning tools, including Nancy Kline’s “Creating a Thinking Environment,” RSVP Design’s “Images of an Organisation,” the Stakeholder empty chair analysis, visual thinking with leadership journeys and a few other experiential activities too for good measure!

The success of the workshop highlighted the immense value of fostering both psychological safety and hands-on, experiential learning.

No Fear

At the heart of psychological safety is the belief that people can share their thoughts, ask questions, and admit mistakes without fear of judgment or repercussion.

This concept, championed by Harvard professor Amy Edmondson, is crucial for effective team dynamics and leadership development.

In a psychologically safe environment, participants feel free to be vulnerable, express their uncertainties, and explore new ways of thinking, which are essential elements of learning and growth.

During the workshop, Nancy Kline’s “Creating a Thinking Environment” played a pivotal role in establishing this safety.

The tool emphasises attentive listening, where individuals feel heard and respected.

By giving participants space to think and speak without interruption, it encourages them to engage fully and offer their best ideas.

When leaders are encouraged to think aloud in a judgment-free zone, they begin to stretch their thinking, explore new perspectives, and challenge existing assumptions.

This creates a fertile ground for innovation and leadership development.

A learning environment

Coupling psychological safety with experiential learning creates a dynamic environment where participants actively tested new skills and approaches.

Experiential learning focuses on doing, reflecting, and applying insights to real-life challenges. It is my experience that this active participation leads to deeper engagement and retention of knowledge.

For instance, RSVP Design’s “Images of an Organisation” allowed the SMT to visualise how they perceive their organisation.

Using metaphors and images, participants engaged in dialogue about their current structure and challenges. This visual approach not only sparked creativity but also made abstract organisational concepts more tangible. It was an engaging way for the team to understand and rethink their roles within the company, helping them to align on strategic priorities.

Similarly, the Stakeholder empty chair analysis was a powerful tool for empathy-building and team coaching. By placing an “empty chair” to represent key stakeholders, participants could envision the concerns, needs, and perspectives of others in their decision-making process. This experiential exercise deepened their understanding of the impact their leadership decisions have on others, fostering greater empathy and collaboration within the team.

Visual Thinking

The use of visual thinking with leadership journeys enriched the experience further by encouraging each member of the SMT to map their leadership development in a more creative and personal way.

This exercise allowed them to visually reflect on their growth, challenges, and aspirations. The combination of visual and experiential learning helped them to connect emotionally to their leadership roles, making the learning more memorable and impactful.

It is my experience that creating a psychologically safe space combined with experiential learning tools can and does have a profound effect on leadership development.

When participants feel safe to express themselves and are actively engaged in their learning process, they become more open to change, more creative in problem-solving, and more committed to applying their insights in real-world settings.

The Stovax Gazco leadership workshop exemplified how these two elements can come together to create a powerful, positive learning experience, ultimately leading to stronger, more empathetic leaders.

Guarding Against Silent Judgment

Five years ago, I wrote about the dangers of pointing out faults in others. See https://www.darylwatson.org/…/the-dangers-of-pointing…/
Reflecting upon that blogpost, one thought comes to mind as I try to do better, is this… “I choose not to let passing judgment become a silent habit that I don’t know is happening.”
It’s easy to slip into judgmental thinking without even realising it, by quietly critiquing others’ choices, behaviours, or appearance in our minds.
Just the other day, I caught myself doing that very thing.
When unchecked, this internal habit can become a barrier to compassion, humility, and true meekness.
Passing judgment often starts as a whisper in our thoughts.
It might seem insignificant, a fleeting observation of someone else’s shortcomings or differences.
However, these seemingly small judgments, left unaddressed, can build up over time, shaping how we view and interact with others.
Worse, they can become so ingrained that we may not even recognise when we’re doing it.
Our perceptions of others become clouded by preconceived ideas, biases and crazy notions, which can erode our ability to extend love and understanding.
To counter this, it’s vital to actively constantly cultivate self-awareness.
Just as we try to monitor our words and actions, we must also be mindful of our thoughts.
A helpful practice is to pause when a critical thought arises.
Ask yourself: “Why am I thinking this? Is it rooted in compassion, or is it a reflexive judgment?”
By catching these thoughts in the moment, we can prevent them from taking root and influencing our attitudes.
More importantly, we need to replace judgment with empathy.
We are each on a unique journey in life, filled with struggles, difficulties, and stories we may never fully understand.
I believe when we shift our focus from judgment to empathy, we can begin to respond with kindness and support, rather than criticism.
We can remind ourselves that, just as we desire grace for our own imperfections, others deserve the same grace.
I am more committed than ever to avoiding the silent habit of judgment.
It requires constant vigilance, self-reflection, and intentionality.
By staying mindful of my thoughts and striving to replace judgment with empathy, I hope to become more mindful of my interactions, seeing the best in others and focusing on love rather than faults.
How can you prevent judgmental thoughts entering your mind?

A snapshot of joy

Laughter is one of the most powerful and life-affirming experiences we can have.
And so it was as Ali, and I, visited my mum on Friday evening.
As we sat together, reminiscing about old times, sharing stories, something spontaneous happened that turned a quiet moment into one of pure joy: we started laughing.
At the end of our visit, we simply decided to take a picture together.
For some reason, the very suggestion sent us all into fits of laughter.
It wasn’t the idea of the picture itself, but rather the delightful simplicity of the moment that made us chuckle, giggle and laugh until our sides hurt.
Earlier in our visit we’d talked about some health concerns, yet as the laughter began, it was in many ways a form of release—a way to break free from the weight of life’s burdens, even just for those special few moments.

Wellbeing

Our visit with my 89-year-old mum reminded me of just how essential laughter is to our well-being, offering a connection to joy even in times of challenging health.
In her lifetime, I know mum has witnessed challenges and joys, yet in our moment of laughter together, it served as a bridge between the past and present, reminding us that life, at its core, is about finding joy in the little things.
For each of us, that moment wasn’t just about taking a picture, but about capturing a memory of joy with the people we love, creating an even stronger bond that no words could truly express.
Reflecting on the shared experience with my mum and brother-in-law, I realise we weren’t just laughing at the idea of taking a picture, but at the joy of being together, of being present in each other’s lives.

Joy

While also lifting our spirits and lightening our loads, it was a celebration of love, family, and togetherness, all wrapped up in 𝒂 𝒔𝒏𝒂𝒑𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒕 𝒐𝒇 𝒋𝒐𝒚, through the healing power of a good laugh.
Let’s not to take life too seriously and cherish those fleeting moments of joy that come from simply serving and being with the people we deeply love.
There is a time to have fun, laugh, play, learn and serve together.
Dale G. Renlund said: “To effectively serve others we must see them… through Heavenly Father’s eyes.
Only then can we begin to comprehend the true worth of a soul. Only then can we sense the love that Heavenly Father has for all His children.”
Looking upon my mum as a child of God, being able to laugh with her, and as we ministered to her, we felt a healing and strengthening warmth that will last forever.
Why is it important to be able to laugh at ourselves?

“I don’t know…”

And yet – why can so many of us not say it?
Perhaps fearing someone will think less of you, if you don’t know.
For many, not knowing something can seem like a personal failure.
Worse still, pretending to know something you don’t, can put a lot of pressure on you.
We simply cannot know everything, and we shouldn’t pretend to.
The truth is nobody has all the answers.
Many years ago, early in my sales career, I was frequently asked questions about products, costs, how things worked etc, and I’d respond with; “𝑰 𝒅𝒐𝒏’𝒕 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘!”
I’d learned to use the words some years earlier as a missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints as an 18-year-old in London, where I’d constantly be asked questions that I simply didn’t know the answer to.
It didn’t signal the end of my faith, but the very beginning… as quickly I’d say; “I’m happy to find out…”
And off I’d go in personal study to find the answer to the question at hand.

With life…

So it is throughout my life…
I have found “𝑰 𝒅𝒐𝒏’𝒕 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘” to be a powerful and helpful phrase for many reasons:
– Admitting you don’t know something shows honesty and humility, which fosters trust.
– By acknowledging that you don’t know something, it can open a door for learning by creating space for curiosity, growth, study and learning from others.
– Saying “I don’t know” relieves pressure, gives you time to think and allows you to be more open-minded.
– In group settings it can encourage collaboration as others are more open to share their knowledge and experiences.
– It stops you from making assumptions or giving misleading information.

With Faith…

When it comes to matters of faith and life, I learned many important lessons as a young missionary.
I didn’t ever understand everything, I didn’t pretend to and still don’t!
Yet, when it came to those frequent moments of truth, I focused on the things I did know, rather than what I didn’t know.
In the Book of Mormon, Nephi said, “I know that [God] loveth his children; nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things” – 1 Nephi 11:17
When we admit to not knowing something, it allows us to move forward in a much humbler way.
It fills our hearts and minds with a greater faith in God, through hope and prayer, that He will make up the difference.
He always does.
Perhaps it’s time we all need to start using “𝐈 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰” more often.

Is it time to move on?

Recognising that you’ve outgrown something—whether it’s a job, relationship, hobby, or even a lifestyle—can be a challenging but necessary step in personal growth.

I find we hold onto familiar things out of comfort or fear of the unknown.

Yet, life is constantly evolving, and outgrowing certain aspects of it is a natural part of this journey.

As a coach, I’ve discovered that there are some tell-tale signs that it’s time to move on.

Stagnation and Lack of Growth

One of the most common signs that you’ve outgrown something is a feeling of stagnation.

You’re no longer learning, evolving, or feeling challenged in a meaningful way, manifesting itself as boredom or frustration.

At work for instance, you might find that your tasks have become monotonous, with no opportunities for advancement or development.

Or in a relationship, it could feel like there is no deeper connection or emotional growth happening.

If you feel stagnant, it’s time to re-evaluate your goals.

Ask yourself what you really want to achieve and whether your current situation is helping you get there.

Set new goals that challenge you, and make small steps toward them.

It could mean seeking a new job, learning new skills, or communicating openly with others about what you need for growth in relationships.

Consistent Frustration or Unhappiness

When you’ve outgrown something, feelings of frustration, dissatisfaction, or even resentment often start to surface.

You may feel like you’re stuck or wasting your potential.

In relationships, this can manifest as constant arguments or feeling emotionally drained.

In a career, it can feel like you’re simply going through the motions without any real fulfilment.

If you consistently feel unhappy, it’s important to acknowledge your feelings.

My favourite is journaling, I know it can help you reflect on what’s causing these emotions.

Or with the help of a coach or friend, identify whether the frustration stems from something you can change within your current situation, or whether it’s time to move on entirely.

You may need to set boundaries or have tough conversations, or it could be time to explore new opportunities that align more with your values and passions.

You Feel Disconnected

Another sign is a growing sense of disconnection.

Things that once brought you joy, excitement, or passion may now feel empty.

You might feel like you just don’t belong.

Take time to reconnect with yourself by engaging in self-reflection and mindfulness.

Spend time figuring out what excites and energises you now.

This could mean rediscovering old passions or trying new activities.

If you feel disconnected from a social group or relationship, it may be time to seek out new connections that resonate more with who you’ve become.

Your Values or Priorities Have Changed

As we grow, our values and priorities often shift.

You may start to realise that what once mattered most no longer aligns with your current beliefs or goals.

This could happen with friendships, jobs, or even personal habits.

For instance, a career path that once seemed ideal might no longer align with your desire for work-life balance or personal fulfilment.

When your values change, it’s crucial to realign your life accordingly.

Begin by making a list of your current priorities and values.

What’s truly important to you now?

Once you have clarity on these, you can begin making decisions that align with your new values.

This might mean changing careers, pursuing more meaningful hobbies, or prioritising different relationships.

You Daydream About Something New

If you frequently find yourself daydreaming about a different job, relationship, or lifestyle, it could be a clear sign that you’ve outgrown your current situation.

These daydreams often reflect unmet desires or unfulfilled potential.

Rather than dismiss these thoughts, explore them further.

What is it that you’re yearning for?

Is it adventure, creativity, a deeper connection, or more freedom?

Once you’ve identified your desires, start taking concrete steps toward making those dreams a reality.

Research new opportunities, network with people who are in fields or lifestyles that interest you, or create a plan to gradually transition into something new.

In Conclusion

Outgrowing something is a natural part of life, and while it can feel unsettling, it’s also an opportunity for growth and renewal.

A coach can help you along your way.

By recognising the signs—stagnation, unhappiness, disconnection, shifting values, and daydreaming—you can take proactive steps to move forward.

Whether it’s setting new goals, engaging in self-reflection, or seeking new challenges, the key is to embrace change and create a life that aligns with your current self.

If you’re in that space now, message me, I’m happy to listen and help…

 

The Source

In my preparations for a forthcoming learning intervention with a large company, I held a 1-1 call with the leader of the organisation.
He shared lots of thoughts, feelings, analysis and views about current issues, yet I felt I needed more.
After some in depth discussion, I suggested that it would be helpful to meet 1 by 1 with each of the Senior Management Team (SMT).
Thus, I travelled south, to be with them this week.
After setting the context, I asked one question and ran a little activity, repeating it several times over two days.
In each of my personal encounters, one by one they spoke openly and passionately about their responsibilities.
The outcomes were insightful, helpful and enlightening.
Spending time with each leader, connecting with them, grasping their perspectives and engaging with them personally helped me to discern the nature of the challenges at hand.
Direct communication, powerful questioning and active listening were key to each of them giving me their personal views.
Reflecting upon this activity, I believe it to have been a successful use of everyone’s time.

Why?

I went to 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐜𝐞.

In our dialogue, connecting with each member of the SMT was a powerful 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐜𝐞 of helpful insight, allowing me to foster authentic relationships and avoid any distortion of information.

Since then, I have thought about another 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐜𝐞 of even greater insight.
Going to 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐜𝐞, especially in matters of faith and spirituality, carries an unparalleled significance that cannot be replaced by second-hand knowledge, interpretation, or analysis.

Who?

I believe that Jesus Christ is “𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒄𝒆”” of all peace, light, truth and joy.
When we go to Him, we are referring to an intimate, personal encounter with the divine that shapes our spiritual understanding and life in ways that books, sermons, or even conversations with others can never fully achieve.
Encountering Jesus Christ in a personal, direct manner leads to deep, long-lasting change.
𝐇𝐞 is 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒄𝒆 of the living waters, providing an abundance of life, spiritual sustenance and joy.
Speaking to the Samaritan woman as she drew from Jacob’s well, Jesus declared “But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life.” – John 4:13-14
I hope that we will all choose to drink from the divine 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐜𝐞 of all living waters and connect with Him, even Jesus Christ.

Go and Do

It is one thing to go.

It is another thing to do.

Missionary preparation is to be ready to go and do whatever the Lords wants done.

Having worked amongst hundreds of missionaries of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints for the last three years, and thousands throughout my lifetime, they all give me hope for the future of our communities and nations.

Simply stated – they go and do.

Arriving

Arriving infield at Orientation Day, under the watchful eye of Jesus Christ, they select a go and do T-shirt, as a constant reminder of the words spoken by Nephi:

“I will go and do the things which the Lord commanded…” 1 Nephi 3:7

With sufficient faith, and with great intent they go and do whatever He asks.

Laurel Storheim and Sydnee Fillmore, currently serving in Apeldoorn, in the Netherlands, (their fourth transfer together,) are a great example of missionaries who go and do.

Like thousands of missionaries throughout the world, they ask themselves “Based on the teachings of Jesus Christ, what can we go and do today, that will make a difference for someone in our community?”

Scriptures

In Acts 10:38, the apostle Peter describes Jesus Christ as one who “went about doing good.”

Jesus did not solely preach about doing good; He exemplified it through His one by one actions.

His life of selfless service acts as a model for each of us to be personally and actively engaged in helping others.

As Laurel and Sydnee seek to do good, they stand as witnesses of Him.

Without action, without doing, good intentions remain unfulfilled.

Helping others by doing good, is a reflection of our compassion, empathy, and love.

These values, embodied in Jesus’ ministry, are essential to creating a more compassionate world, of which we are in much need of right now.

Service

I’ll never forget the devastating floods that hit Belgium, Germany and the Netherlands in July 2021, shortly after we commenced our missionary service.

Our missionaries at the time took action, going and doing by making regular visits to provide service in and around Liège.

Let’s follow the missionaries example, take action, make a difference in the world, choose to go and do.

You can help in a flooded area, paint a neighbours fence, pick up litter along the street, say hello to a stranger, or ask someone “What can I do for you?” – opportunities are all around us.

Through selfless service, when we go and do good, we inspire others to do the same.

What will you do to love and serve someone in need today?

Accreditation, Certification and Experience

Recently, I was asked; “What is your coaching certification again please?”

In response I stated, “I have an ILM Level 5 Diploma in Coaching & Mentoring.”

“You don’t have 𝐞𝐱𝐞𝐜𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 certification then…more of our clients require 𝐞𝐱𝐞𝐜𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 certification now…” came the reply.

And thus, my soul searching, research and many conversations began.

My ILM Level 5 required 100 hours of coaching, 3 x assessments, 5 days of workshops and a whole host of other requirements too.

Here I am, ten years after being certified by the ILM, looking again at what options were available to gain an ILM Level 7 Certificate or Diploma in Executive Coaching and Mentoring.

The executive certificate is 20 hours of coaching, the executive diploma is 60 hours of coaching, both with 3 x assessments and 4 or 5 days of workshops either online or face to face.

Both involved spending anywhere between £2.5K and £6K, to gain the certification.

I looked at other options with the AOEC, the ICF and the EMCC.

I started to add up not only the monetary costs, but the opportunity costs and the time and commitment it was going to take me to get the word “𝐞𝐱𝐞𝐜𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞” on my certification.

Thoughts around the sunk cost fallacy started to play into my mind.

I considered how much future business I’d lose, if I don’t have that word in my certification.

Time to pause and reflect…

“Was it worth all the effort and expense?” I thought.

Whilst all of this was going on, I had the most wonderful conversation with my former coaching Supervisor, who brought me back to reality…

“I wouldn’t underestimate the value of your Level 5 diploma,” said Gwynneth.

“And remember the ‘curriculum’ and structure of the L7 are not so different after all.”

Suddenly it all started to make sense.

For ten years and more, I’ve accumulated some nearly 8,000+ hours of one-one coaching, team coaching and mentoring.

I’ve coached throughout the leadership pipeline, from members of the Board, Chief executives, Managing Directors, Senior Managers, Middle & Junior Managers, to top talent and future leaders.

I’ve designed, delivered and facilitated global coaching programmes online and face to face.

Whatever way you look at it, that’s a heck of a lot of experience.

I’ve had numerous expressions of thanks, and I’ve received many testimonials too.

I had a choice to make, which included doing nothing at all, by simply carrying on as before.

I actually didn’t need to expend several thousands of pounds to get another word in my diploma, I have more than enough experience already.

Other Options?

But perhaps there was another option.

“Is there any other way to show my experience…” I thought.

And then the penny dropped.

I’ve been a member of the Association for Coaching for the last ten years.

I’d even attended many of their workshops/learning sessions either online or face to face.

So, I explored becoming a “Fellow” of the Association which recognises for a small additional annual cost, the experience that I’d gained over all those years.

Subsequently, I am pleased to say that I am now a “Fellow of the Association for Coaching”, which credits me for the many years of professional experience and contributions to the world of coaching and mentoring that I have made.

If you are one of those many coaches out there, where some clients are demanding the word “executive” in your credentials, before you make any rash, expensive decisions, perhaps you should think again.

Fellow Certificate_Daryl Watson

Retreat and Recover

In my studies through the years, I find it fascinating that the leaders of three of the world’s great religions have one thing in common…
They understood the importance of stepping back from the world for personal reflection and renewal.
In ancient times, spiritual leaders sought refuge in nature or isolated spaces, understanding that it was in these quiet moments that clarity of purpose and direction emerged.
For example, the Buddha meditating under the Bodhi tree in northern India (the place of enlightenment) would form the foundation of Buddhism.
In the Quran, there are numerous accounts of the Prophet Muhammad receiving revelations and instruction from the Angel Gabriel in the cave of Hira, which shaped the world of Islam.
Jesus Christ often retreated from his followers into the wilderness to meditate and pray, helping him connect with deity in order to establish Christianity.
Each of them reminds us of the importance of stepping back from the world to take some time to reflect and recover.
Modern leaders can take inspiration from these examples by carving out time for reflection, not only to recharge physically but also to reassess their leadership and the broader impact of their decisions.
Whether in politics, business, or social organisations, leaders face constant pressures to perform, make decisions, and address challenges swiftly and effectively.

Torryburn

My experience on Saturday was a simple mini example of this, taking some uninterrupted time to be alone or in this case sharing it with someone special.
Monic and I took a 2 hour long walk along the seashore, borrowing my sister’s dog Fern.
We thoroughly enjoyed our time of rejuvenation, foraging for brambles along the way and taking time to pause, reflect, talk and recover.
In our fast-paced, hyper-connected world of today, the notion of retreating for renewal has in recent years, gained a renewed relevance, especially for leaders.
A retreat, whether it’s time spent in nature or engaging in deep meditation, offers a space to disconnect from noise and reconnect with oneself, which in turn fosters sharper judgment and greater creativity.
Regularly tending to the emotional, physical, spiritual and mental aspects of our lives keeps us in a well-resourced state.
I know that most of my innovative ideas come not from being in the middle of the action but from stepping back, in moments of solitude and reflection.
Just as spiritual figures like Buddha, Muhammad, and Christ found profound insights in times of isolation, you and I along with today’s leaders can benefit greatly from stepping away from daily responsibilities to recharge, reflect, and renew our sense of purpose.
Everyone needs to unplug, refocus, retreat and reboot sometimes.
Go on – make that time to retreat today….
You know you need to.