Expect the Unexpected!

Things don’t always turn out the way you planned!
On Tuesday, we waited at the arrivals gate at Schiphol Airport for our 5 new missionaries, arriving on three different flights from the USA.
“Are you sure its gate 3?”
A careful check (again) of the arrival gates clearly showed that 2 new missionaries arriving on different flights, would arrive at Gate 3 and the other 3 missionaries (on the same flight) would arrive at Gate 4.
Time passed….
No missionaries.

Hmm?

Then a message from Eldon McClure.
“Hey, President Watson? I’m at Schiphol, just got through customs. Who is going to pick me up, and where do I meet them?”
We concluded he’d arrived at gate 4, not gate 3, passed us by and arrived at the information point.
Off I went to pick him up. One down, four to go.
Back to gate 3.
Still no further missionaries.
Our Assistants go to gate 4 “just in case” for the next arrival due at Gate 3.
A few moments later they walk back to gate 3, with our new arrival Alexandra Williams.
Two down, three to go.
A check again of the arrivals board.
Yes, they are all due in at Gate 4.
So, in turn, all of us head to Gate 4.
Time passed.
“Are you sure its gate 4?”
“…Yes, take a look yourself…!”
“We’ll go to gate 3, just in case…,” said the Assistants.
More time passed.
Then a call from the Assistants, our final three Janessa Anderson, Jaislyn Kimball and Emerson Randle arrive at gate 3!
Our reactions… to the confusion?
We all laughed, hugged and chatted away.
Welcome to the Netherlands! 😆
Over the last 15 months, my new philosophy on things in general (and especially at Schiphol) is this,
…to be constantly aware of the reality that most things aren’t going to turn out how you expect!
𝐄𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐮𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐝!
What do you do when things don’t go as you expect?

Discouraged?

𝐖𝐞 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐨𝐫𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲 – 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭?
Yet, sometimes life happens and it can be discouraging.
At times things we hope for and dream about just don’t turn out that way.
– the pay rise didn’t happen
– you didn’t get the expected exam grade
– the relationship you worked hard at didn’t work out
– you didn’t get the job
– the house purchase fell through
– redundancy became a reality
– ill health sets you back
– you just can’t understand that new language
– its just been a really tough day
When things don’t turn out the way you expected, then discouragement can settle into our minds and can make us feel sad.
None of us are immune from discouragement and especially in these difficult times, reality frequently does not conform to our wishes.
Discouragement does not have to mean defeat!
See it as it really is and don’t blow things up out of proportion.
Overcoming discouragement is absolutely critical for all of us if we are to bounce back and move forward in life.

So, what can you do?

First and foremost – you can change your attitude. Rather than focusing on what you can’t do, focus on what you can do.
Secondly, find something that you are good at right away, get on with it and dispel any negative self-talk, feelings or emotions that may be impacting upon you.
Thirdly – don’t compare yourself with others, remember you are on your own unique path in life.
Fourthly – turn to a friend.
Fifthly – count your many blessings, name them one by one.
Finally – pray about it, to understand and find the lesson.
“Then shalt thou call, and the Lord shall answer; thou shalt cry, and he shall say, Here I am” (Isaiah 58:9).
To receive comfort and guidance from our Father, we simply need to reach out to Him. I know He is always listening.
It is through the experience of disappointment and discouragement that great treasures and pearls of wisdom in life frequently appear.
What do you do when you feel discouraged?

N.O. Two simple letters – No

Do you ever say “𝐘𝐞𝐬” to someone, when you mean to say “𝐍𝐨?”
Its not a bad word.
Sometimes, we commit to do something because we don’t want to appear rude, or we may be afraid to upset someone.
Do you know that feeling?
However, by always saying yes, we can make ourselves ill too.
Saying yes all too often, can and will have a direct impact upon our own wellbeing.
I know that self-care is really important, especially when you are tired!
It really is okay to set personal boundaries and say “no” especially when you may already be juggling lots of different things and multiple projects at the same time.
That said, it can be tough to say no!
N.O.
Two simple letters – No.
One simple word and yet so many of us have a real problem with it.
It’s okay to say no!
If you are just learning to say no, then please be gentle with yourself and be kind too – it can take time.
It is also important to recognise when you have said yes to something, when you should have said, no instead!
On those occasions, I suggest that you make a mental note, and then let it go.
Learning to say no takes practice!
In fact, it’s absolutely essential if you want to simplify your life.
Setting some personal boundaries can help.
Boundaries can be defined as the limits we set with other people.
Our boundaries indicate what we find acceptable and unacceptable in others behaviour towards us.
Boundaries reflect what we value most deeply.
They are a form of empowerment, strength, and a way for us to align with our identity, our desires, where we stand and what we stand for in the world.
Having strong boundaries means knowing what you like, what you accept and equally, what you can tolerate.
Are yours discernible?
We need to recognise them and protect ourselves against hazards that will come in life.
One of those boundaries may be to recognise that it is okay to simply say no.
When you say ‘no’ to others you are making an important statement on boundaries, limits, and respect for your own time.
You also teach them about who you are as a person, and what’s important to you.
Finally, my top tips –
Saying no doesn’t require a thesis length explanation!
For example, some ways to say no, could include the following…
“I’d love to, but I can’t”
“That doesn’t work for me”
“I’m not comfortable with that, so no.”
Is today the day, you finally empower yourself and say no?
What helps you to say no?

Do you care?

Do you question your motives?
The crux of my personal philosophy in life, the nucleus of my personal motivation, is centred upon a core belief that “nobody cares how much you know, until they know how much you care” a phrase attributed to Theodore Roosevelt and crafted so purposely by him.
In thousands of coaching conversations, I have learned a little.
As you….
𝐋𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝
𝐀𝐬𝐤 𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬
𝐀𝐫𝐞 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐮𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬
𝐄𝐱𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐩𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞
𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬, 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐝𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞.
Showing interest in others is about being yourself,
being genuine
and sincere in your interest in another person.
𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐃𝐨 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐌𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐞?

Who is your wise guide?

𝐖𝐡𝐨 𝐢𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐞 𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐝𝐞?
Harry Potter had Dumbledore and Hagrid…
Luke Skywalker had Obi-Wan Kenobi and Yoda…
Froda Baggins had Gandalf…
Mowgli had Bagheera…
With the development of each fictional character, a wise guide arrives in each of their life’s.
As they place their faith in their wise guide, ultimately, he supports them toward their destiny.
Unlike many fictional movie characters however, real life is another matter altogether.

The Wisest Guide of All

Personally, my faith is not founded upon imaginary characters and their guides, but upon the wisest guide of all, even Jesus Christ.
Wise guides are not only wise, but they are also guides.
Guides direct, instruct, lead, shepherd and show us the way.
In the scriptures, the admonition to “Come, follow me” is repeated several times.
Similar phrases such as, “Walk with me,” “Follow me,” “Come unto me,” are also used regularly.
It is a very simple, direct, and powerful invitation.
The decision to follow Him, is a very personal one, that many of us choose to make.
I love these words from Hymn 116.
“Come, follow me,” the Savior said.
Then let us in his footsteps tread,
For thus alone can we be one
With God’s own loved, begotten Son.
I am so grateful for the two missionaries who introduced the restored Gospel to my parents in 1961, and for the inspired choice they made to follow the wisest guide of all and in his footsteps tread.
In the chorus of “I Am a Child of God” (Hymn 301) we find the words “Lead me, guide me, walk beside me, help me find the way.”
It is through our daily prayers, that I know He will guide us, lead us, and walk beside us.
Are you searching for a wise guide in your life?
If so, may I respectively suggest that you consider listening to a powerful message that our missionaries have to share about the wisest guide of all.
How can a 𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐞 𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐝𝐞 help you find your way?

Let’s huddle!

𝐈𝐬 𝐢𝐭 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐮𝐝𝐝𝐥𝐞 𝐲𝐞𝐭?
Before every basketball game at High School, I recall our team would huddle together on the court, share some motivational words together, plan some tactics, culminating in a united shout of “let’s go!”
Years later, whilst studying at University, I worked part time at the local Asda superstore, and as soon as you started the morning shift, it was time to stand together for 15 minutes for our daily huddle.
Now, in the mission field, they are still part of my routine with a virtual weekly online huddle.
Huddles are all about gathering people together, sharing key information and aligning everyone for the game, the day, or the week ahead by considering what we want to achieve.
The goal of any huddle is always short term.
Any information shared is about making everyone more successful and productive, by focussing on any accomplishments, identifying top priorities, and sharing updates.
There is usually some feedback provided too.
And it is always important to leave time for questions and to ask for input from all participants.
Huddles are quick, they improve communication, people feel more connected and very quickly everyone understands what is expected of them.
It keeps everyone in the loop, while understanding what everyone else is doing too.
My experience of successful huddles suggests that they need to be short, regular, upbeat, engaging and remember to have a bit of fun too!
Have you huddled recently?

Are you wrestling?

Are you wrestling with something or someone?
Perhaps things are a little tense at the moment?
Recently I was asked “how do you deal with conflict President?”
One of my key goals is to ensure that as mission leaders we foster a mission culture of collaboration, encouragement, and unity.
Sounds simple enough, right?
But human beings are oftentimes far from simple!
Communication is strained, there are opposing positions, emotions run high – sound familiar?
And what happens if there are disagreements that impact relationships?
There are some simple things that we can do to overcome differences.
As a leader it is important to consider the following.

Top Tips

– Start with one-on-one conversations and get the full story by listening to understand.
Help each person do the important basic initial work at hand, namely – seeing the other person’s viewpoint, discerning their own emotions, and preparing for conversations to come.
——
– Ask purposeful, meaningful questions by starting a dialogue
It is helpful to ask questions that focus on the facts and also on their emotions. “What is going on for you right now?” or “What’s motivating you?”
To help foster mutual understanding , it is also useful to have each person take the other persons perspective. This in turn will help everyone to feel heard and empowered.
——
– Look forward – together
Once a little bit of clarity has started to evolve for each other, encourage each party to share what they have discussed with you as their leader.
In addition, remind them that they can work out their differences and find resolutions on their own by focussing on their relationship. Once the immediate disagreements are addressed, then make a plan to get everyone back on the same page.
——
Some other important things to remember.
• Use this opportunity to revisit agreed purpose and goals.
• Promote more interactions to create better cohesion.
• Don’t assume everyone knows what they’re supposed to be working on! Clarify each other’s roles so that people know exactly what is expected of them.
Compassion, empathy, finding common ground, forgiveness, kindness, being an active listener and above all, selfless service are key to build bridges to resolve any conflicts.
Finally, choosing to slow down and focus on what matters most – really helps!
How can you repair some broken bridges?

A Heroes Journey

Have any of these people touched your heart recently?
Harry Potter, Spiderman, Batman, Superman, Ironman, Wolverine, Black Panther, Hulk, Cinderella, Bambi, Snow White, Luke Skywalker, Simba (Lion King), Maverick, all of the X-Men, Kung Fu Panda, Aladdin, Tarzan, Buzz Lightyear, Peter Pan, Ariel (Little Mermaid), Bilbo Baggins, Wall-E and many more….
What do they all have in common?
You may be surprised to learn that every character listed is an orphan or a semi-orphan (separated from at least one parent).
The Orphan Hero is not new in storytelling.
Is it a coincidence?
So, what is the purpose of creating such characters?
May it somehow represent a journey that all of us need to go through?
There are usually different parts to a typical storyline.

The Storyline

Firstly, there is usually some kind of awakening story shaped by adversity of some kind.
Secondly, as the hero’s journey commences, there is a provocation of sorts that stimulates an awakening, frequently with a mentor on hand (usually older).
Thirdly, on their journey, the hero discovers some purpose, or true identity and embraces their own authenticity.
Through triumph and tragedy these movie characters have all played into large chunks of our life’s.
Without their parents, we are drawn into the storyline by the insecurity that is created. Perhaps we even start to imagine how we’d react to such perils in our own life.
Subsequently, the characters are all forced to deal with the challenges of the respective storyline and almost always faced with one or several transformational experiences.
As a coach and mentor, I’ve noticed that there is frequently a guide who plays a special part in the journey.
For example – Gandalf, Yoda, Obi Wan Kenobi, Dumbledore, Alfred, Xavier and many more.
Generally, these characters have a central role in the story and oftentimes eventually disappear.
The Hero’s Journey is in fact a formulaic template used successfully for generations.
Although formulaic, this journey is open to all of us.
Consider the adversities and challenges you have overcome in your own life.
What story are you living?
Do you have a mentor or guide?
What makes a real hero for you?

Elevate Your Thoughts

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝.
All that we achieve and all that we fail to achieve is a direct result of our 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬.

Eagles and Crows.

Consider this short story by Vernon Howard, about a community of eagles that lived on a beautiful mountain range.
“The eagles were happy and found an abundance of food in surrounding woods and streams. Their days were spent in lofty soaring in the beautiful blue sky, high above the world. But down on the dry prairie, there dwelt a band of devious crows. The crows had access to a low grade of corn in glittering packages. They looked for unsuspecting travellers who they could get to eat the corn.
Now the eagles were smart enough, but careless at times. Though they were cautious at first, the corn looked pretty good. Besides, it saved the effort of hunting. So, the eagles soared less and less and began dropping down to the crows’ cornfields more and more. Of course, the less they flew, the less they felt like flying. Growing weak in their wings, they began to believe that they were meant to be down on the ground with the crows.
But there was one eagle who sensed that something was not right. Besides, the corn didn’t really taste as good as the crows said it would. When he tried to persuade his eagle friends to return to the mountains, the crows ridiculed him. Believing the crows, the eagles shunned their former friend.
Growing tired of it all, the lone eagle studied himself carefully. He tried his wings, and something deep inside told him he belonged in a higher place. So off he flew, back to the mountains. Then from dawn to dusk, he soared over his beautiful world, free to be what he was always meant to be – an eagle.”

Your Thoughts

In our personal life, we can all be affected by many blinding influences.
If we are not careful, we can be deceived by false beliefs and teachings spread by millions of “devious crows.”
They are able to convince many to take the “easy street”.
But all of us are really 𝐞𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐞𝐬.
We are all meant to soar!
There are a few ways to think about “crows” around us, including negative thoughts, that can be random, unpleasant, agitating and anxiety filled mental impulses.
Despite these thoughts, each of us can overcome them and become a powerful influence for good.
𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒔 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒑𝒐𝒘𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒄𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒔 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒍𝒊𝒇𝒆.
My invitation to everyone today through this timeless fable, is to elevate your thoughts, don’t get stuck in the mud, you are meant to soar above this world!
“For as [a man] thinketh in his heart, so is he.” – Proverbs 23:7
Now – off you go…. Take Flight!

Where can you turn for peace?

𝐖𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡 𝐯𝐨𝐢𝐜𝐞𝐬 𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰?
“There are… so many kinds of voices in the world, and none of them is without signification” the words of Paul in 1 Corinthians 14:10.
There are indeed so many voices –
Voices that cry and plead with us to follow them.
Voices that deceive, threaten, and spread terror.
Voices that lull us into a false sense of security.
Voices that gossip.
Voices online, in magazines and newspapers, clamouring for attention, offering a maelstrom of advice.
Voices that promise us the world and happiness – if we will but enslave ourselves by the bondage of debt for a generation and for some a lifetime.
𝐁𝐞𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐞 of all these voices that clamour for your attention.
Are you distressed, perplexed or even fearful of these voices?
Is it time to shun the screaming of the headlines for a season?

Where can you turn for peace and tranquillity?

 

First – sever contact with the constant throb of the next alert on your mobile device.
Second – stop scrolling and set your mobile device aside.
Third – take a break from the daily global headlines and crisis of the world, which is in constant commotion.
Fourth – take a walk, enjoy nature and temporarily retreat into a different world.
Soon you’ll realise, like I have, that the troubles of the world are made by man and inflated by man.
If we could live kindly and appreciatively of one another, in peace, then all other problems would resolve themselves in the due course of time.
Maybe my suggestion is too simplistic.
Maybe, after all, I am just too simple?
After your walk and break it’ll be time to return.
Fifthly – For some, there is one voice above them all.
“The sheep hear his voice: … and the sheep follow him: for they know his voice. And a stranger will they not follow, … for they know not the voice of stranger” John 10:3-5
From among the multitude of voices we hear during our mortal life, we must recognise the voice of the Good Shepherd, even Jesus Christ, who calls us to follow Him toward our heavenly home.
His voice is sweet and pure.
I hope you find Him.
#HearHim