Showing Up

Will you be attending a meeting of any kind today?
Perhaps it’s a coaching session, a one-day training seminar, a job interview, a meeting with your boss, or even a visit with an elderly parent.
In my lifetime, I have sat through tens of thousands of different kinds of meetings.
There are those that I was fully prepared for, excited to attend and others that I simply “showed up” and completely missed the purpose of the event.
Do you know what I mean?
Physically present, but mentally absent…
Something else was on my mind…other thoughts, worries, plans or whatever.
Have you been there?

Being Present

“Showing up,” in its most powerful sense, means being present – cognitively and emotionally.
In my view, “showing up” is about being present for others while putting your own desires and ambitions to the side.
It demands active preparation, engagement, mental readiness, and emotional presence.
As a coach, as I prepare for any session, I carefully consider what I may encounter ahead with my client.
It is a matter of focus, choosing to be fully present and engaged.
I may ask myself, “What is the purpose of this session, and how can I add value?”
True presence in a coaching session or any meeting requires active listening and observation, which goes beyond what’s being heard and seen, its about what you feel too.
Actively engaging with the ideas presented allows you to better contribute to the discussion.
Pausing to reflect on the information, asking questions, and offering thoughtful feedback shows that you’re mentally engaged and not just physically present.
Just prior to a recent important meeting, I practiced a mindfulness technique of deep breathing beforehand to help my focus and listening.
Being emotionally present is also essential.
Your attitude and energy can either inspire or demotivate, and will help you to read the room and the moment.
Check in with your emotions and pause before entering the meeting to ensure you’re bringing positive energy.
Showing up is a skill, and like all skills, it needs to be continuously put into practice.
But you can do it.
You will come away from your experiences, changed, simply because you showed up!
What will you do to “show up” today?

Post Mission Life

Voicemails
Letters
Emails
Videocalls
Zoom calls
Phone calls
Instagram messages
Facebook messages
WhatsApp messages
BeReal photos
Text messages
And many more…
And best of all personal visits too!
It was a great to have a visit yesterday with Eleanor and her husband Paul.
Thanks for coming, it was such a joy to catch up. 😊
This has been the norm since arriving home from our mission in Belgium and the Netherlands.
Daily, there are messages from missionaries about many things!
A marriage announcement.
Asking for a reference for a new position.
Requiring a recommendation for a university application.
A request for a coaching conversation.
A baby is on the way!
When can we come and visit?
Birthday celebrations
“Its been a long time since we caught up, we should find a time to do so”
“I just wanted to reach out and set up a time when we could talk”
“We’re planning a trip to Scotland…”
“What you up to Pres?”
“Here’s the link for my Homecoming talk”
Silly emojis
Photos galore
And here was me thinking that post mission life could be dreary and dull!
Our relationships continue to grow ever richer and stronger.
It is simply wonderful.
And it will go on forever.
I love it!
And how I love every single one of our missionaries.
They are simply the best of the best.
What’s been the best part of post mission life for you?

Human Connections

All week long I’ve been building relationships, making new acquaintances, or catching up with people I hadn’t seen for a long time.
It felt like a lot.
Between 1-1 meetings, coaching sessions, presentations, associate team gatherings, new business relationships, family and friends, I reckon I have interacted with around 350+ different people this week, either face to face or online.
In my personal studies, I researched a lot about Gen Z, those born between 1997 and 2012.
Research shows that despite being the most digitally connected generation, Gen Z is also one of the loneliest.
Their online interactions often lack the depth and emotional nuance of face-to-face communication.
The isolation brought on by COVID-19 exacerbated this, leaving many feeling disconnected.
In my studies, I discovered a new term 𝒅𝒊𝒔-𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒆
𝐝𝐢𝐬 – meaning “lack” or “absence” and 𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 – meaning “comfort” or “well-being”.
Thus, 𝐝𝐢𝐬-𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 refers to a state of unease, discomfort, or tension.
It isn’t necessarily a physical illness, but rather a psychological, emotional, or even spiritual imbalance.
In my view, we are actually living in a time of massive dis-ease and disconnection.
Technology seems to connect us more than ever, but the reality is that the screens around us disconnect us from the marvels of nature, from our true selves, and from family and friends.
So, how do we overcome this dis-ease or malaise?
This week I had a discussion with a new friend about building connections.
In order to thrive, we all need human connections and face to face interactions.
Those “horizontal” connections are the foundation for our emotional, mental, and physical wellbeing.
But there is also a “vertical” connection that is equally important, with our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, that nourishes our spiritual wellbeing.
Jesus said, “Learn of me … and ye shall find rest unto your souls” (Matthew 11:29).
Connection with deity is vital to our sense of meaning in this life.
When we build a relationship with God, we better understand the plan He has for us.
“And this is life eternal, that they might know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent” —John 17:3
How have you felt “rest unto your soul” recently?

Are you dependable?

In life, one value stands out as a true game-changer: dependability.
Whether it’s at work, in friendships, or in family relationships, being dependable builds trust and strengthens bonds.
So, what does it mean to be dependable, and why is it so important?
On returning home from Belgium and the Netherlands recently, we needed some help with some home repairs.
I explained the situation to my bother in law Ali, along with another friend Tony and they promised to come along one day, when I’d hire a ladder.
The duly appointed Thursday arrived.
What would have happened after all the planning, costs and arrangements if they were nowhere to be found?
How do you think that would have made me feel?
Probably frustrated, let down, or even hurt.
Now – flip that around!
The duly appointed Thursday arrived.
Both Ali and Tony arrived early, we worked on around six projects inside and outside, completed all the work in a timely manner and had a bit of fun too!
The cost of their labour – I treated them to lunch from the local bakery!
The priceless message was this – I could count on them!
If you make a commitment – do you live up to it?
Dependability isn’t just about keeping promises—though that’s a big part of it!
It’s also about consistency, reliability and responsibility.
At work, being dependable means your team can trust that you’ll meet deadlines and complete tasks to the best of your ability.
In friendships and relationships, dependability is key to forming meaningful, deep, lasting connections.
When people know they can trust you, it strengthens the connections between you.
So, ask yourself: are you dependable?
If the answer is yes, you’re already on the path to success.
If not, don’t beat yourself up too much, dependability is something you can build.
Start today by making small pledges and keeping them and watch how it positively impacts every part of your life.
Can you be counted on?

Paying the Price

It is my experience that we do not achieve things of value in our lives, unless we are willing to pay a price.
“𝑷𝒂𝒚𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝑷𝒓𝒊𝒄𝒆” is an abiding principle that highlights the reality that anything of value requires 𝒆𝒇𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒕, 𝒔𝒂𝒄𝒓𝒊𝒇𝒊𝒄𝒆, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒅𝒆𝒅𝒊𝒄𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏.
Whether it’s personal success, financial stability, or meaningful relationships, achieving these goals usually always comes with a price.
This “price” often refers to the time, energy, and persistence we invest to reach our aspirations.
Last week, I was invited for an interview with a leadership development company in which I was to give a presentation, provide some training and respond to several questions for a new associate relationship.
Subsequently, I paid the price in many hours of preparation beforehand.
Time will tell if I put in sufficient effort to secure the role.
A PhD student does not succeed academically, unless time and effort are put into study and research.
An Olympic athlete does not win a gold medal, unless time and effort are put into years of preparation for that final moment.
Long-term success isn’t handed out freely.
Someone who excels in their career likely spent years honing their skills, making sacrifices, and pushing through obstacles.
The success of a PhD student or an Olympic gold medallist often conceals the countless hours of practice, setbacks, and failures they endured along the way.

Consistency

Achieving significant results requires not just an initial burst of energy, but consistent effort over time.
The process of paying the price builds character.
It teaches patience, resilience, and a strong work ethic.
Challenges too, faced along the way foster personal growth, helping us learn from mistakes and become better equipped to handle future difficulties.
Superficial engagement in something seldom brings a deep satisfaction, measurable growth or meaningful results.
It requires us to put in our very best efforts.
In summary, nothing of true value comes without a cost.
Whether in business, relationships, or personal development, paying the price is an essential step in attaining lasting success and fulfilment.
Think about your current challenge…
Are you paying the price and putting in enough effort?

Remember

Meeting the Gubler family last week was fun.
Last year, we met their oldest son Henry, for the first time, when he arrived in the Belgium Netherlands Mission (BNZ).
Although we’d heard a little about his family, it was a delight to finally meet with them.
Together, we enjoyed a lovely lunch in Culross.
Our time was filled with love, joyful stories, and a few laughs, especially when Zack got a little excited by his glass of lime and lemonade!
Shared experiences have a unique way of bringing people closer, creating bonds that will last a lifetime and beyond.
Sometimes we never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory.
Not only do we have lovely memories of being with Henry in the mission field, but we also now have a memory of a special time with his whole family.
This shared history is what makes relationships with family, friends and loved ones so meaningful.
There is something about shared memories that create a sense of belonging.
When you make memories with others, you feel part of something bigger than yourself.
Whether its with family, new friends, or missionaries in the BNZ, it’s my experience that creating memories and remembering them, fosters a sense of togetherness and belonging that builds a unique and powerful bond for all of us.
These priceless treasures we call memories, are the glue that makes our relationships stronger.
I am so glad that we all made time for each other.
Good memories are real blessings to remember and never forget.
Remembering is not only a good and practical thing to do, but it’s also a scriptural practice.
Our relationship with Jesus Christ, is built upon remembering Him.
When the Saviour instituted the sacrament, He invited His disciples to partake of the emblems “in remembrance” of His sacrifice.
In every sacrament prayer each Sunday, we hear, the word always preceding the word remember.
And in the Book of Mormon, during King Benjamin’s final address, he used the word remember seven times.
He hoped that his people would remember “the greatness of God … and his goodness and long-suffering” toward them. – Mosiah 4:11.
My invitation – when you recall your memories, remember how your Father in Heaven has blessed you too.

Someone to lean on

Yesterday, I spent some time with a dear friend and sat with him in the hospital for a while.
It struck me how important it is that we all have someone to 𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒏 on.
In life, we all face moments of challenge, uncertainty, and even joy that are made better by having someone to lean on.
Whether it’s a friend, family member, or partner, the presence of a trusted person provides emotional and psychological benefits that are invaluable.
At the very core of our well-being is the need for connection.
My experience is that as we share our burdens and joys together, it not only lightens our loads but strengthens the bonds between us.
When life feels overwhelming, knowing that there’s someone to lean on brings comfort and peace.
This sense of support reminds us that we are not alone in our struggles.
It’s more than just having someone to talk to; it’s about having someone who listens, cares, and stands by you.
Simply stated we all need that connection and support from one another, to help us navigate our way through tough times with greater confidence.
In fact, those were his words to me yesterday.
“Thanks for being here, you give me confidence.”
Everybody needs others.
And not just in tough times.
When we experience positive results, no matter how big or small, sharing those moments with someone else magnifies the joy.
Knowing that others are there to cheer us on when things are going well can add meaning to our accomplishments.
Being that person someone else leans on creates a sense of purpose and somehow it can strengthen our own resilience too.
In essence it feels good, just to be able to do some good – that warm fuzzy.
It’s a reciprocal relationship that makes everyone involved feel valued.
In our world today it can sometimes feel isolating and lonely.
Having someone to lean on, is now crucial for our mental and emotional well-being.
In the end, life becomes richer and more meaningful when we have that essential support from one another.
Step forward today and be someone to lean on…

Grit

It’s been over 7 years since Talmage last walked through our front door with his missionary companion.
This time he had a different companion, his wife Marianne.
Together they’re enjoying a belated honeymoon in Scotland.
Over the years we have kept in touch sporadically and so it was truly delightful to reconnect at the weekend.
Reflecting upon our time together and our discussion, I was reminded of Angela Duckworths book “Grit, The Power Of Passion And Perseverance”.
In her book, grit is defined as “passion and perseverance for long-term and meaningful goals”.
When you have the inner strength of grit, you don’t give up on the things that you want.
Possessing grit has become an increasingly rare yet invaluable trait.
Someone who embodies this quality, coupled with determination, perseverance, and resilience, is a beacon of inspiration.
And that is Talmage – in a nutshell!

Podcasting – but more!

Talmage’s passion is podcasting.
But he is not just a podcaster.
He is a storyteller, a learner, and a teacher.
It was clear that his love for podcasting goes beyond mere enjoyment.
Talmage has a commitment to his audience and to his craft.
As he shared some stories it was evident that true success is not measured by numbers but by the impact he creates, with his guests, one episode at a time.
Podcasting, with its unique blend of storytelling, education, and entertainment, is no easy feat.
For someone who loves this medium, grit is not just an advantage; it is a necessity.
It demands consistency, creativity, and a relentless pursuit of knowledge.
It is this kind of grit that fuels Talmage’s determination to tackle the technical challenges of recording, editing, and producing content week after week.
His perseverance was evident in the consistency with which he produces content, always striving for improvement, no matter how many obstacles he faces along the way.
He regularly interviews returned missionaries and other guests who share insights and stories of struggle, success, and self-discovery.
Look up and enjoy his next episode of “𝑹𝒆𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒆𝒅” wherever you pick up your podcasts.
Enjoy Scotland the pair of you – and come back soon!
How can you stay gritty?

My Witness

Throughout my life, I have witnessed many physical events that have changed the world.
I can sign up and say I’ve seen them all.
On July 13th, 1985, The Live Aid concerts held in London and Philadelphia, that were broadcast to the world, raised $125 million dollars in relief aid to famine-stricken eastern Africa.
A few months later on January 28th, 1986, just over a minute after lift-off from the Kennedy Space Centre, the space shuttle Challenger exploded, killing all seven crew members.
On November 9th, 1989, as the Cold War began to ease, the destruction of the wall in Berlin that led to millions of people celebrating in the streets across the world.
1994 – Nelson Mandela elected President of South Africa.
1997 – Princess Diana dies in car crash
2001 – 9/11
2004 – Indian Ocean earthquake and tsunami
2008 – the Great Recession and financial crisis
2020 – the Covid-19 Pandemic
2022 – the death of Queen Elizabeth II

Personal Events

I have also witnessed many personal events.
Graduating from University, getting married, the birth of our children, the death of my gran, my nana, my father and father-in-law and a host of others.
I testify that I have witnessed all of these in my lifetime.
There is, however, a spiritual witness that is more than a singular event.
It has been a constant throughout my life.
Between 1983 and 1985, as an 18-year-old, I served as a full-time missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in London.
It was there, acting in faith, in my studies, prayers and service that I received a witness of the restored Gospel of Jesus Christ.
Twenty centuries ago, the gospel of Jesus Christ turned the world upside down.
Through the great apostasy that true gospel was lost for generations.

Changes

It was in my teenage years, that my witness of and faith in Jesus Christ was impressed upon my mind, which changed my life and gave me great hope, in a battered and troubled world.
I testify, He has made a difference for me, and He will make all the difference for you.
Like so many other Christians today, I refuse to be silent.
My signature if you will, has been added to millions of others.
Jesus Christ will never give up pursuing or loving you.
I witness that He is the only way to find real joy.
Events continue to happen in an ever-changing world, but let me assure you, there is a divine work in progress.
I invite you to come unto Christ, let Him change your world.

Testing your Moral Compass

On Sunday in my local church congregation, I was invited to teach a lesson entitled “Integrity, A Christlike Attribute.”
After discussing what integrity means (e.g., honesty, consistency in actions, upholding moral principles etc), we created a straight line on the floor with some string and tape.
I explained that one end of the line represented “Strongly Agree,” the opposite end represented “Strongly Disagree,” and the middle represented a neutral stance.
The activity involved making decisions about how much they agreed or disagreed with certain statements related to integrity.
For example:
– “Integrity means always telling the truth, no matter the consequences.”
– “Sometimes it’s necessary to bend the rules to achieve a greater good.”
– “It’s okay to cheat a flawed system that is stacked against you.”
On each occasion, I invited everyone to position themselves on the line to indicate their view.
It was a fun activity, with lots of discussion and various opinions.

A personal lesson

After teaching the lesson it reminded me of my own moral dilemma from thirty years ago.
During my time at University in Edinburgh, occasionally I travelled home on the train.
The station where I boarded had no ticketing facilities and there was no alternative but to purchase a ticket on the train.
On one occasion, no conductor came along, so I couldn’t purchase a ticket.
Alighting at my home station, I must confess to feeling a little smug at not having to pay!
However, a few days later, the same thing happened again.
Then shortly thereafter, it happened on a 3rd occasion!
By this time, I was feeling uneasy about the whole thing.
I entered the ticket office at my home station and informed the clerk that I wanted to pay for my journey home, explaining what had happened.
I’ll never forget the quizzical look on his face, when he responded, “Get away son, don’t be daft, you’ve just had a freebie!”
My conscience was clear!
Most people have a sense of right and wrong, how and how not to behave.
What is your ethical DNA?
“A life of integrity requires us to be true to our divine identity” – Jack N. Gerard.
How has your moral compass been tested recently?