Pilgrims

Since returning home to Scotland, Monic and I have done a lot of walking.
We love to take a walk every day.
Yesterday, I took a long walk around our home city of Dunfermline.
I noticed something I hadn’t seen before on lots of lamp posts, that read “Fife Pilgrim Way”.
I never knew there was such a route in Dunfermline, so I started to follow the signs.
They directed me through the Glen, to the Abbey and then to the library, the historic quarter.
In the Library window, I found a book “The Fife Pilgrim Way”.
It set me off on a little quest in the afternoon and I found this interesting website about the Fife Pilgrim Way.
I learned a whole lot of things.
From the 11th to 16th centuries, pilgrims in their thousands walked between the northern and southern edges of the kingdom of Fife, enroute to the great cathedral in Saint Andrews.

What is a Pilgrim?

𝐏𝐢𝐥𝐠𝐫𝐢𝐦: “a person who journeys to a sacred place for religious reasons.”
In Latin it comes from the word peregrinus, meaning “one who has come from afar.”
Pilgrimages have long been a common feature of many world religions, including Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, and Shinto.
Today, millions of people make pilgrimages to a wide array of holy sites every year.
It got me thinking about my own pilgrimage in life.
A pilgrimage is a journey to a holy place, which for some, can lead to a personal transformation, after which the pilgrim normally returns to their daily life routines.
Having just returned from our mission in Belgium and the Netherlands, we discovered many people seeking for purpose, meaning, truth and personal growth.
I know too, of dear friends who made remarkable discoveries of their own as they embarked upon a pilgrimage that transformed them as they came to a knowledge of Jesus Christ.
Daily, throughout the world there are many modern-day pilgrims, on personal quests who come from “afar.”
Dieter F. Uchtdorf said “We are pilgrims walking the road of mortality in a grand search for meaning and ultimate truth.”
In essence, we are all pilgrims seeking God’s direction as we journey on our path through mortal life, far from our heavenly home.
To my fellow Christian pilgrims everywhere, the three most powerful behavioural words the Saviour spoke were “Come, follow me” (Luke 18:22) and that invitation continues today, as we journey on our miraculous pilgrimage through life.
I hope you choose to follow too, He is “the way…” – John 14:6.

Reading the Room

Some years ago, I was sat in a room in a hi-powered negotiation for a major multi-million-pound contract for the company I was working for.
Discussions, pricing, and contract negotiations had been going on for several weeks.
It was time for our final meeting to agree the contract.
I’ll never forget that meeting, as I did something I’d never done before.

And so it began…

It was immediately evident that they were trying very hard to undo some of our previous agreements to find a more satisfactory arrangement for their company.
I had prepared well for the negotiation and was aware of any concessions that could be made.
Having been through many negotiations before, I knew the importance of being able to read the room, by listening for facts, details, or any signals and feelings that could arise.
Tuning in, I felt the vibe was different than our previous meetings.
I recall the body language, the vocal tones, raised eyebrows, the fleeting smiles and even frowns that day.
Those tiny facial micro expressions helped me to read between the lines, the nuances of what was being said, clues if you will, as to what was actually going on, that helped me to understand the dynamics in the room and individual emotional states.
Essentially, it was about trying to figure out or understand how the others in the room were thinking, without them actually saying something.
I worked hard to mirror and match the energy and tone of the others in order to connect with them.

Tactics

The lead negotiator from the other side was trying very hard to squeeze me on price by another 2% (read tens of thousands of pounds) and were in a hurry to close out the contract negotiations and give me the contract that day.
The win-win for us both, was becoming a win-lose for me.
It just felt-off.
They were keen for me to shake hands and sign the deal.

Now what?

Looking around the room, taking a deep breath, boldly and risking all, I thanked them for their time, closed my folder, packed up and left.
The negotiation was over.
Within an hour, they called me.
The additional 2% demand was removed, I signed, and we agreed the contract.
Whether it’s a presentation to a large audience, or an important meeting or negotiation, be mindful of reading the room.
It takes a little practice, but stop, look and listen for those non-verbal clues, they’re always there.
How can you “read the room” better?

Heart to Heart

If your heart could speak, what would it say?
What does it really long to say?
What does it long to hear?
Being away for three years, has meant a lot of catch-up conversations recently.
Dialogue, with many dear friends and family, home and abroad, face to face and online.
Reflecting this morning on those conversations, I’ve realised that many of them have been heart to heart.

A definition…

Heart to Heart – “a serious conversation between two people, usually close friends, in which they talk honestly about their feelings.”
They haven’t been trivial or inconsequential.
Rather they’re deeper, somehow they feel much more vital and nourishing to each other’s souls, allowing our hearts to really connect.
There has been much more giving and receiving.
In addition, they have also created an even stronger relationship of mutual trust and understanding.
I have even listened to a lot of heartfelt emotions that I wasn’t aware of before.
And interestingly, I’ve begun to understand myself even more.
Significantly, there has been more undivided attention in those moments.
As the dialogue emerges from each other’s heart, the conversations are vulnerable and delicate.
Maybe it’s because for the first time in a while I have more time and am less distracted, but I have found that I am more thoughtful, more compassionate and found it easier to listen with more love.
I have learned to listen, reflect and respond in that order once more.
And I have also been reminded that without having open vulnerable dialogue – we cannot and will not grow.
Moments of struggle have been openly shared.
It is important too, to mean what you say and say what you mean.
Someone once said ““The beauty of a heart-to-heart conversation is that it allows us to share our deepest fears, joys, and dreams, knowing that we will be met with empathy and kindness.”
As I restart my coaching practice, I look forward to many more of these quite remarkable conversations.
“We are only as strong as we are united, as weak as we are divided.” – J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire)
When was the last time you had a heart-to-heart conversation with someone?

Promptings

In my prayers one morning this week, I specifically asked that I’d recognise any subtle promptings or spiritual insights that day.
Arising from my knees, I made my to do list for the day and set off getting things done.
Late morning, instead of driving to visit my mum, I felt to take a 45-minute walk instead.
After a lovely visit with mum, I set off for home.

Insightful detour

I felt to take a longer route home, a slight detour.
This route took me near the house of a dear old friend, who I hadn’t seen in a few years.
Approaching the house, I had a feeling to ring the bell, but I chose to ignore the thought.
At the front door, the thought came for the second time… “ring the bell” again, I chose to ignore the prompting.
About 5 metres after passing by the house, the prompting came the third time, much louder “Go back. Ring the bell.”
I stopped.
I turned around, walked back a few steps and rang the bell.
Once – No answer. Twice – No answer. On the third time, the door creaked open and there was my dear old friend….
“Paul” my friend said. “No, it’s Daryl” I replied.
I was ushered inside.
We visited for about an hour.

How can I help?

I listened intently and asked if there was anything I could do.
I returned the next afternoon with medications and listened again a while longer.
I know that spiritual promptings come.
We simply need to recognise them, listen intently and have faith to take action.
In one of their many “Don’t Miss This” series, David Butler and Emily Freeman call these moments “Compassionate Detours.”
Reviewing Matthew Chapter 9 they considered a day in the life of Jesus Christ.
“But when he saw the multitudes, he was moved with compassion on them.” – Matthew 9:38.
On several occasions, He stopped and ministered, compassionately to the one.
Why not look out for a compassionate detour today…
Stop long enough to heed and listen to the promptings – that always come.
In the busyness of your complex life, do you notice the needs of others?

Thinking Together

I marvel at the thoughts, insights and commitment that I see from my colleagues and dear friends in my leadership, learning, coaching, mentoring, training and facilitation network.
It is clear to me that they are learning from their own journeys and experiences of life.
Willingly, freely and regularly they share those learnings with others.
There is a great power in all of our journeys.
There are critical learning points and instruction all along the way.
We just need to slow down long enough to learn those lessons for ourselves.

Potential

As learning protagonists, professional coaches and mentors, our responsibility is to help unleash the real potential of those people with whom we work.
And how do we do that?
One meaningful conversation at a time.
My personal witness is that I have seen many individuals figuratively take a step into the “unknown” with a good coach or mentor by their side.
How have you grown these last few years?
What leadership lessons have you learned through your journey in life?

…thy might

Reflecting this morning, I was mindful of a scripture in Ecclesiastes 9:10.
“Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might…”
In the world in which we live, there is much worthwhile work for every one of us to do.
And when we do, we must remember these words from Solomon in Ecclesiastes.
That we must go and do, whatever it is, with our might!
And going and doing at times may mean a lot of actual work.
And yet, once again, I am grateful for my peers and fellow coaches who have found something to do and choose to go and do it with their might.
With the help of a coach or mentor, all of us must come to an honest, open self-examination, an awareness within, as to who and what we want to be, do and achieve.
“To the noble art of getting things done we must add the more noble art of leaving things undone.” – ancient oriental saying.
Coping with the complex and diverse challenges of everyday life, which by itself, is not an easy task, can upset the balance and harmony we seek.
I know of many good people who care a great deal and are trying very hard to maintain balance, but they sometimes feel overwhelmed and defeated.
If that’s you – then reach out to a good coach or mentor today, with their might, they “might” be able to help you along your journey in life.

Wedding #30

Finally!
Over the last three years, we have received numerous wedding invitations (approximately #30 so far) from our missionaries after they return home from Belgium and the Netherlands.
Serving a mission in Europe and the location of the majority of weddings (North America) have made it impossible for us to attend any!
This weekend was different.
We made it to Sheffield to be with Lea and Harrison.
What a joy it was to be with them, their family and friends.
Early on Saturday morning, I received a rather unusual request from Harrison.

Authority

“So, my Bishop was potentially going to do a fake ceremony for us again in the evening for the guests that aren’t there in the morning, but he can’t make it now. I’m sorry it is so last minute, but would you be able to do that for us?”
Civilly, they were married in the chapel in the morning.
Eternally, they were married (sealed) in the temple in the afternoon.
And for the third time in the evening, they took their vows again with the fake imposter minister!
It was fun to be asked and fun to help out, as I shared the words of their vows again.
It got me thinking about authority and on this occasion my lack of it!
Whilst serving as a Bishop, then Stake President in the church, I had the legal authority to perform many civil marriage ceremonies. That authority ended when I was released from the position.
The authority to unite families forever in the temple is called the sealing power. It is the same power that Jesus gave to His Apostles during His ministry on earth. (Matthew 16:19.)
An eternal marriage is therefore called a sealing.
Unlike marriages that last only “until death do you part,” temple sealings ensure that death cannot separate loved ones.
I love these words from one of our church hymns #300:
“Families can be together forever
Through Heavenly Father’s plan.
I always want to be with my own family,
And the Lord has shown me how I can.”
I am so grateful for our sealing in the London temple in 1994.
And I look forward to attending many more events in the years ahead.
If you want to know more about temple sealings, speak with a missionary today.

London

It’s approaching nearly 5 years since I was last in London.
Unbelievable.
My last time was on 18th December 2019 for some consulting.
Covid came along early in 2020 and blocked all travel for a while.
Then we were in Belgium and the Netherlands from June of 2021 for another 3 years.
Yesterday, it felt good to be back on the warmest day of the year.
32C! It was hot!
In amongst some business networking, I visited with a great friend in Parliament – Julie Jones and we talked all about Freedom of Religion or Belief (FORB).
It was a real delight to catch up after so long.
I stopped by South Kensington too.
As an 18-year-old, I spent a lot of time as a young missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in and around that area.
That was 40 years ago now!
It felt as if the platform was exactly the same.
Many memories came rushing back for me, as I thought about the many times I’d been on the platform before.
Later it was off to Kensington, to meet up with Emerson Randle, one of our missionaries from Belgium and the Netherlands.
She is in London for a summer internship.
It was an absolute joy to be with her for a wee while and reminisce.
Sweet memories for us both came flooding back.
The visits with Julie, Emerson and to South Kensington – all have one thing in common.
The connection – Jesus Christ.
This quote from C.S. Lewis, sums up perfectly how I feel about yesterday and being with dear friends and special places.
“I believe in Christianity as I believe that the Sun has risen, not only because I see it, but because by it, I see everything else.”
It is because of Him that I see what is possible in our lives.
And so can you too.

Pruning

Since returning home four weeks ago, Monic has spent quite a bit of time in the garden.
She loves it!
It is actually hard to keep her out of the garden!
She is always up for tackling whatever job there is at hand.
If I can’t find her in the house, then I know exactly where to find her!
Yesterday afternoon, it was the turn of the holly tree.
I had to help hold the ladder whilst she tackled the huge tree that had grown so much over the last three years.
Looking carefully, Monic identified what needed to be pruned.
I watched her lopping off some big branches and felt a little sorry for the tree, as it looked a bit painful.
Ouch!
Pruning changes the whole shape and future of the tree.

Is it your turn?

You know, we’re also a little like trees.
From time to time, we need may some pruning too, so that we can grow as God intended.
Its either to remove dead branches or in this case where there has been so much growth, you and I need to be pruned, shaped or moulded.
It can happen at different times and in different areas throughout our lives.

In the scriptures…

In John 15:2 Jesus Christ explains that “Every branch in me that beareth not fruit he taketh away: and every branch that beareth fruit, he purgeth it, that it may bring forth more fruit.”
Sometimes I even ask myself, if I need to have some dead branches that need lopping off, those that may be hindering my own relationship with my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.
Even though it can be painful and a little uncomfortable, the best thing you can do is let the Master Gardner, do His pruning.
He has great plans for your life.
Its only after those sometimes-painful experiences that you will truly see the fruits of the labours.
After Monic was finished pruning, the holly tree was nearly where it needed to be. In her words its “90%. It’s a lot better.”
Why not look up Hugh B. Brown’s masterful talk from 1968 “God is the Gardner”.
Sometimes His pruning is a little painful.
But ultimately, if we trust His plan, we will most definitely bloom.
How is the Lord pruning you?

Familiar Lessons

We’ve been home in Scotland for 3 weeks.
Already, I have learned some old familiar lessons.
For the last 3 years, our focus on our missionary efforts, meant that our time to stay up to date with news and current affairs was at best, limited.
For certain, content standards and regulations about what can be shown on the news in the Netherlands were far less restrictive than here in the UK.
The images and footage shown were starker, never sanitized or blurred as shown here.
However, regardless of which news channel you watch, it is clear that in our day, we are living through a period of wickedness, tribulation, calamity, peril and great distress.

The Rising Generation

I know for many of the rising generation, their hopes of a bright future are filled with anxiety and despair.
I think we’ve all had times of confusion.
I am a church man and have faith in God, His Son Jesus Christ and the great plan of Salvation.
Much has been written about the calamities that will overtake this generation.
Yet, I find great comfort in this pattern.

There is Hope

Make a serious study of Matthew 24 (include the inspired version).
Then study Doctrine and Covenants 45.
Followed by Sections 101 and 133 of the Doctrine & Covenants.
Finally, review section 38 of The Doctrine & Covenants.
In the first few weeks of our missionary service, we attended a conference in Copenhagen.
At one point in the conference, tensions increased as a difficult topic was discussed.
Elder Massimo De Feo, a General Authority Seventy, who was presiding, asked for a video to be played by Sissel, “Slow Down” from the Pioneer Concert of 2019 in Salt Lake City.
Immediately, the tension dissipated.
The room was filled with a tender, beautiful spirit of love.
I will never forget that moment and will cherish the feelings that pierced my heart – forever.
The words and message of the song are powerful and I used it constantly throughout our missionary service.
“In the midst of my confusion
In the time of desperate need
When I am thinking not too clearly
A gentle voice does intercede.
Slow down…..”
In our final Mission Conference, Emma Holmes and Brigitta Broadbent shared their own beautiful version with us.
I invite you to “Be still and know that I am God” – Psalms 46:10

Landmarks

On Thursday, I met up with a friend for lunch and enjoyed a moment by one of Scotland’s most iconic landmarks.
A UNESCO World Heritage site, the Forth Railway Bridge.
Opened on the 4th of March 1890, it has stood the age of time.
Landmarks give us a true sense of place.
The Eiffel Tower, The Grand Canyon, The Taj Mahal, Machu Picchu, The Great Wall of China, Mount Rushmore, The Acropolis, Big Ben, The Leaning Tower of Pisa, The Colosseum, Stonehenge, Niagara Falls and so forth…
𝑳𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒌: “An object or a feature of a landscape or city that has importance or makes a place easily recognisable.”
Landmarks form markers, or reference points for orientation and direction, for travel and communication.
40 Cruise Ships this summer in the Firth of Forth are testament to the fact that the bridge is a significant landmark and a popular tourist attraction.

Dad’s story

I shared with my friend a story my dad told me about the bridge.
6.5 million rivets were used in the construction of the bridge.
They’re no ordinary rivets; these are 8 centimetres long and 4 centimetres wide, that binds the structure together.
Dad was a train driver for most of his life travelling over the bridge many times. He told me that one of those rivets was made of gold.
It has long been painted over many times, and I’d guess few, if anyone knows which one of those 6.5 million, is the gold one.
Landmarks often evoke a sense of awe and wonder to people all around the world, whether they are natural or man-made.
They often tell us the story of human history, of a time long past, yet oft breath-taking and still relevant today.  They also serve as a point of interest and pride for the locals.

Landmarks in Life

Reflecting upon the significance landmarks in my life, a rather unusual one came to mind.
Dieter F. Uchtdorf explained: “The scriptures are the word of God. They are God’s landmarks that show the way we should travel in order to draw closer to our Saviour and reach worthy goals.”
The scriptures have been a great marker and a point of reference.
They provide direction for travel in my own life and have helped me to understand the vital importance of communication with God.
Indeed, they are an essential landmark for me and millions of others.
There are 3,116,480 characters in the KJV of the Bible, 783,137 words, or 31,102 verses of scripture.
Each character, each word, each verse, are as vital to the Bible as the 6.5 million rivets are to the Forth Railway Bridge.
And if you look long and hard enough, there isn’t just one, but thousands of golden “rivets” to be found.
Go on, take a look!