Tag Archive for: Learning

When the Journey Stalls

Recently, while driving south on a long trip, we hit a massive delay.
Traffic slowed to a crawl and then a stop, not because of any obstacles in our own lanes, but as we listened to Radio 2, we learned of an accident on the opposite side of the motorway.
Like many of these moments, it was a reminder of life’s unpredictability.
The delay cost us nearly an hour, and the accident shut down the northbound side for miles.
As frustrating as it was, it reminded us of another incident years ago, driving home from a meeting in Utrecht, headed toward Leidschendam.
That night, there had been an accident on the “snelweg.”
We were far back in the queue and stuck.
Then something unusual happened: people got out of their cars.
Some lit cigarettes. Some chatted. Soon there was large crowds.
I got out to investigate further.
Shortly thereafter, I remember offering brownies from our meeting and spending time talking with total strangers for a while.
There was a kind of spontaneous community born from that unusual moment.
What struck me was how quickly people shifted from isolation (each in their own car, their own world) to connection.
Monic and I have spoken of that event often.
That hour of delay became something meaningful, not because of where we were, but because of how everyone showed up to connect.
It was something we’d never experienced before, nor have again since.
Sometimes life can suddenly bring us to a halt, plans can stall, and our progress stops.
We can get stuck behind a difficult tragedy or trial that comes along.
But in those moments, we can either get upset… or connect, like that day on the Dutch snelweg.
We can either retreat inward or look outward and bless others, even with something as simple as conversation or a brownie.
“Bear ye one another’s burdens and so fulfil the law of Christ.” Galatians 6:2
We rush through life so fast, but delays remind us to slow down and actually see each other.
Maybe that’s when we’re most able to help carry someone else’s load.
When things stop, don’t just wait. Look around. Who needs you?

Built Right, Still Wrong…

At home these last few weeks, Monic has been on another mission, painting and decorating.
 
At times the house has been upside down and, on a few occasions, I’ve been enlisted to help.
 
It may have been to move a bed, lift a rug, order something online, build some flat pack furniture, pick up something from a shop etc.
 
Monic’s work ethic is amazing and when she gets started, you simply need to get out of the way.
 
It got me thinking about a few things – especially when it came to flat pack self-assembly furniture this week.
 
I ordered the items online, picked them up from the store and duly started to put the bedside cabinet together.
 
It wasn’t too difficult and within an hour the first was completed.
 
Having built one, the second was easier and within half an hour, the last thing I needed to do was put the drawer in.
 
But alas, for some reason, it wouldn’t fit!?
 
Cue that familiar DIY moment: denial, frustration, blame.
 
Was it me? Did I mess something up?
 
Stumped, I took a closer look.
 
The drawer rail pre-installed by the manufacturer was the wrong one.
 
I couldn’t do a thing.
 
I called on Monic to check it wasn’t just me seeing something wrongly…
 
She confirmed that no tool could fix that.

The Life Lesson

 
And that’s when it clicked, this was a real-world lesson in control.
 
– I had 𝒕𝒐𝒕𝒂𝒍 control when I laid out the parts and followed the instructions.
– I had 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆 control when I checked my work and asked for a second opinion.
– But with the faulty rail? I had 𝒛𝒆𝒓𝒐 control. All I could do was adapt. Accept. Return it and reorder.
 
On reflection – I followed the instruction manual with exactness, step by step.
 
But the part was wrong from the start.
 
There was nothing I could do to fix it.
 
Sometimes, even when you do everything right, things still won’t work—because the problem was built in from the start.
 
The real test is how you respond when the plan fails.
 
Are you solving problems—or just following instructions?

Front Row Seats

In May 2023, I found myself in Frankfurt, Germany, at a Europe Central Area Leadership Meeting.
Elder David A. Bednar of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles was presiding, and leaders from across Europe gathered for instruction.
As we arrived, we quietly took our seats toward the rear of the chapel, but Elder Bednar had other ideas.
As he began, he invited those sitting at the back to come forward.
“Come closer,” he said.
And so, a little reluctantly, we did.
We moved toward the front right row. Then, Elder Bednar gestured again, “No,” he signalled. “Right here, in the front row.”
We moved again, and I found myself sitting directly in front of him, within touching distance, 2 metres away, for the next 4 hours.
Something happened.
Time and again, he made direct eye contact with me (he has brown ones – like my own).
Again and again, it felt as though he was speaking not 𝒂𝒕 me—but 𝒕𝒐 me.
The doctrine, the invitations, the Spirit—everything felt really personal.
He wasn’t just addressing a group of leaders.
In those moments, it felt like he was addressing 𝐦𝐞.

Reflections

Since that day, I’ve reflected on what it meant to be invited to the front row, not only physically, but spiritually too.
In recent years, President Russell M. Nelson said, “We have 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐭 𝐫𝐨𝐰 𝐬𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐬 to witness live what the prophets anciently only envisioned.” Later he also said, “Do you see what is happening right before our eyes?”
We’re not in the balcony seats. We’re not watching a recording later.
As the work of salvation hastens, we have front-row seats as witnesses to the troubling times of the last days prior to the second coming of Jesus Christ—and it’s all happening “𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬.”
To see more clearly, some of us may have to move closer.
We’re not just spectators—we’re participants.
There’s something unforgettable about a front-row seat.
You see things others miss.
You feel the energy.
You can’t look away.
Because when we choose to come closer, the Saviour meets our eyes, and nothing is ever quite the same again.
Will you stay at the back, or will you move to the front row seats?

Learning Off the Tracks

On the final day of our West Highland Way Walk, a few of us rode aboard the Jacobite Express from Fort William to Mallaig.
It is the classic steam train across the Glenfinnan Viaduct, which I am sure many of you may have already taken – especially any Harry Potter fans!
As we approached the viaduct, the guard announced to get ready for a photo opportunity and to have our cameras handy, but not to lean out of the windows!
Everyone on board was focused on the moment: the train curving over the bridge, cameras out, trying to capture the perfect shot.
But the best photo I took wasn’t of the train and the viaduct, rather it was of the crowd below!

The Other View

Hundreds of people in the fields, some who I guess had travelled for hours, all there just to watch.
Yet something else clicked as I watched the little matchstick people below – it seemed much more fun down there than it was on the train!
They chose where to stand, what to notice, when to click.
They weren’t guided by announcements or told what to focus on.
Each of them was part of the moment on their own terms.
And that made me think about how we approach our personal development and learning.
Too often, learning is structured like the train ride: linear, controlled, timed to the minute.
Someone tells you when the “big moment” is, what to focus on, and how to capture it.
But real learning often looks more like the crowd: informal, self-directed, sparked by interest, not instruction.
Each of us seek meaning in our own way, turning up when something matters to us personally and learning most, when we have space to explore, reflect, and choose for yourself.
In the learning and development world, we spend a lot of time designing the “train ride”, but maybe we need to think more about how to support the people in the field.
The 70/20/10 model comes to mind.
Because sometimes the most valuable learning doesn’t happen on the tracks.
It happens off to the side, where curiosity lives, and where people are free to really see.
Where would you rather be – on the train, or choosing your own view?

Switching Hats

Recently whilst visiting Edinburgh with friends, we wandered in and out of a few shops.
My friends were interested in the T-shirts, but my eyes landed on a new hat.
A flat cap actually, and for the Scots amongst you, Paw Broon style!
I like my collection of hats and caps.
Sometimes a hat just seems to migrate to me!
As I’ve worn it in the days since, it’s come to symbolise something more meaningful, especially in my work as a coach and facilitator.
In business and leadership, we often talk about “wearing many hats.”
Leader. Listener. Strategist. Facilitator. Coach. Friend. Challenger. Visionary.
Each of these hats demands something different of us.
One calls for boldness, another for stillness.
One requires you to take the lead; another asks you to step back.
Some hats feel familiar and well-worn; others take time to grow into.

When to switch

What I’ve learned over the years is that great leaders know not just how to wear many hats, but also when to switch them, and how to do so with grace.
Sometimes when I step into lead or facilitate a meeting, I need to offer clarity and direction.
Later, perhaps in the same day, I may meet a coaching client who needs me to say very little at all, just to listen deeply and hold some quiet space for them to have time to think.
And by evening, I’m a mentor or friend, simply present, with no agenda.
It’s not about performing different roles.
It’s about being adaptable while staying authentic to my true values.
The key isn’t in the number of hats that I wear, or I have in my collection, it’s the wisdom to know which one is needed in the moment, and to take one off when it no longer serves.
So, the next time you feel stretched, pulled in different directions, or unsure of what’s being asked of you, just pause for moment, slow down and ask yourself:
Which hat is needed right now?
Am I clinging to a hat that no longer fits this situation?
How can I switch hats without losing who I am?
Leadership isn’t about having all the answers or wearing the fanciest hat in the room.
It’s about serving others well, by being ready to step into what’s needed, with intention, empathy, and perhaps a wee bit of humour too!
What hat will you be wearing today?

What’s your one word?

In a recent virtual learning session, I kicked off with a simple question as a little icebreaker…
“Give me one word to describe how you’re communicating these days.”
Pausing for a moment to consider their responses, words started to appear in the chat box, including some of the following:
Friendly. Rationally. Deeply. Detailed. Concisely. Comprehensively and many more.
Immediately, we were off to a powerful and thoughtful start.
Some participants then chose to explain further why they were communicating in that manner.
They mentioned their tone, their intentions and the impact it was having.
They began to see and understand the impact beyond their words.
New insights about presence, awareness, mindset and leadership came to the fore.
It turned out to be a moment of powerful reflection for everyone.
Each of us communicate in some way or form every day.
Speaking.
Texting.
Writing.
Posting.
And it doesn’t have to be words, more powerful is our body language and the visual clues we send.
Often, it’s the unspoken that lands the loudest, such as, silence, tone and eye contact.
When was the last time you stopped to ask how you’re actually communicating?
In our session, the simple act of naming how we communicate opened the door to group learning, personal insight, and stronger accountability.
So, pause for a second.
What’s your one word?
And more importantly: is it working for you?

Unpredictable, and That’s Okay!

“Help me understand how this works for you?”
That’s a question I’ve used a lot in my coaching practice recently.
Especially when working with minds of all kinds, each one wired differently, each one worthy of being understood on its own terms.
There have been a few sessions where, being honest, I thought, “We didn’t go anywhere today.”
Lately, I’ve been learning to see those moments differently.
What’s changed?
I have been doing a bit of work with clients who are neurodivergent.
Those living with ADHD, Autism, anxiety, or simply a different way of processing the world.
I’ve realised: We always go somewhere.
…It just might not be where I expected, or how I expected to get there!
The pace of any progress is much less linear and far more unpredictable.
I’ve noticed that some clients speak in bursts, that are full of energy, with fast and fragmented thoughts being expressed simultaneously.
It’s often messy!
I hold that space without rushing to fill it or “tidy it up.”
And so, I adapt.
I shift.
I follow their cues.
Listening, observing even more.
I flex.
I slow down.
Interestingly, I’ve also noticed my own routines and habits more closely.
I’m growing curious about the ways my own neurodiverse traits and stress responses show up.
In many ways, it feels like I’m becoming a student again.
I used to think my job as a coach was to guide people to clarity.
But now, I wonder if it’s more about staying curious while they create their own clarity, in their own way, and most importantly, in their own time.
And as they evolve… so do I.
I’m still learning.
Who in your life might need you to slow down, adapt, and simply ask, “Help me understand how this works for you”?

Making Metamorphosis Stick

Graduating from university many years ago, literally changed the direction of my life.
I recall attending one of a myriad of careers fairs, where numerous companies visited the university and talked about job opportunities.
One company in particular “Metamorphose” sourced and developed graduates for sales positions and after enduring an intensive selection process, I was offered my first graduate sales role with a major company.
Over the course of the next year Metamorphose were set to fine tune my sales skills through a series of training seminars and inspirational leadership events.
During each session and the subsequent year-long follow up, the big idea was to transfer some of the greatest sales skills and ideas into our daily conduct and routines.
To make it “sticky” enough to make a real difference in our sales abilities, our effectiveness and ultimately the results that we achieved.
In essence it was important for Metamorphose that their training manifested itself in the personality, conduct and performance of each graduate student.
The training certainly was first class and to this day, I still use their materials and powerful techniques.
Sadly however, along the way, there were many who failed.

Adaptation

In life, I’ve discovered that there are many who can hear a great message and not be deeply stirred – we are all different after all.
Yet others, have the ability to take ideas successfully through the early stages of their metamorphosis to where they become ingrained habits that drive long-term success.
The difference often lies in commitment, mindset, and the willingness to apply what is learned consistently.
I saw first-hand how some graduates thrived, seizing every opportunity to refine their skills, while others struggled to implement the lessons.
The most successful individuals were those who embraced continuous learning, adapted to challenges, and stayed persistent even when results were slow to appear.
An effective way to make learning “sticky” is through constant practice, by applying new skills in real-world scenarios until they become second nature.
Another is by repetition, revisiting key concepts over and over to reinforce retention.
For me, coaching and mentoring others has proven to be the best “sticky” method of all.
Looking back, I realise how much of that early training has shaped my approach to business and personal growth today.
What’s one lesson from your early career that has stayed with you?

Bee-Inspired

Last night, I had the chance to meet up with some dear friends and fellow coaches, Philip Atkinson and Dave Kesby.
I joined with many other guests for the launch of Philip’s leadership book “Bee Wise” at the Royal Over-Seas League in London.
Philip is not only a remarkable Organisational Coach, but he is also a beekeeper and an accomplished one at that.
In his book he “lifts the lid on what happens inside a hard-working hive and uses this as a refreshing metaphor to examine working life.”
In essence, “the beehive is the ultimate business case of complex organisations and working life today.”
Philip gifted me a limited-edition hard copy of his book around Christmas time, and I’ve loved perusing it ever since.
The book considers twelve key topics relevant for leadership in organisations today, including change, communication, continuous learning, decision making, diversity, purpose, productivity, teamwork and many more, all through the fascinating metaphor of an industrious beehive.
I’ve discovered a few favourite chapters and understand a little more about the life of bees, and the lessons they can teach us.
Dave was one of 12 guest writers who Philip partnered with to share additional or alternative views, helping to create a community of shared thinking or in other words some hive-logic!
Last night was not just about celebrating the launch of a book; it was about celebrating friendship, shared learning, and the power of collaboration.
Spending time with Philip, Dave, and so many like-minded professionals reminded me of the importance of community and the strength we find in exchanging ideas.
Philip’s ability to weave wisdom and leadership lessons from the natural world into our working lives is truly inspiring.
I wish you every success Philip with “Bee Wise” – may it continue to spark meaningful conversations and insightful reflections in organisations far and wide!
And to all those who have yet to pick up a copy, I wholeheartedly encourage you to dive in and discover the buzz for yourselves! 🐝
Bees thrive on teamwork; just as great leaders foster collaboration – I have a free limited edition signed hard copy to give away!
Tag a colleague, mentor, or friend who embodies the spirit of teamwork and share why they inspire you below.
I’ll pick a winner and send the signed copy to one lucky participant!

Lines that define

Recently whilst working with a business client, we explored the concept of personal boundaries or the red lines we draw for ourselves and are unwilling to cross, even in the most difficult of situations.
The values that define our boundaries protect our well-being and even guide our decisions.
Boundaries can often reflect our deepest principles and non-negotiables.
They shape how we interact with others and help us navigate the challenges we face.
To bring this to life, we engaged in a few activities about boundaries.
We’d already created a psychologically safe space for everyone to share in our learning session.
Participants were asked to visualise a scenario where their boundaries had been tested, a moment when they felt uneasy, conflicted, or even compromised.
They were then invited to reflect: where did they draw the line?
Many chose to share their experiences openly with the group.
Did they stand firm, or did they allow others to cross that line?
The conversations that followed were eye-opening.
People shared how recognising and honouring their boundaries had empowered them, strengthened relationships, and brought clarity in difficult situations.
Others admitted how, at times, they had failed to assert their limits, leading to regret or frustration.
Understanding your own boundaries requires courage, self-awareness, and sometimes, a willingness to say “no.”
So, where do you draw the line?
How do your boundaries reflect who you are and what you stand for?
And, most importantly, how do you ensure those boundaries are respected?
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