Tag Archive for: Learning

Lines that define

Recently whilst working with a business client, we explored the concept of personal boundaries or the red lines we draw for ourselves and are unwilling to cross, even in the most difficult of situations.
The values that define our boundaries protect our well-being and even guide our decisions.
Boundaries can often reflect our deepest principles and non-negotiables.
They shape how we interact with others and help us navigate the challenges we face.
To bring this to life, we engaged in a few activities about boundaries.
We’d already created a psychologically safe space for everyone to share in our learning session.
Participants were asked to visualise a scenario where their boundaries had been tested, a moment when they felt uneasy, conflicted, or even compromised.
They were then invited to reflect: where did they draw the line?
Many chose to share their experiences openly with the group.
Did they stand firm, or did they allow others to cross that line?
The conversations that followed were eye-opening.
People shared how recognising and honouring their boundaries had empowered them, strengthened relationships, and brought clarity in difficult situations.
Others admitted how, at times, they had failed to assert their limits, leading to regret or frustration.
Understanding your own boundaries requires courage, self-awareness, and sometimes, a willingness to say “no.”
So, where do you draw the line?
How do your boundaries reflect who you are and what you stand for?
And, most importantly, how do you ensure those boundaries are respected?

Looking Back

“You’re looking well Dave” I said.
“And you too Daryl” he replied.
And so began our lovely lunch with one another, earlier this week in Stirling.
Dave and I were colleagues many years ago, collaborating on numerous large-scale, challenging projects during our time working together.
Lunch was delicious.
We got caught up on our family situations.
And we talked about what we were doing now.
But what we really enjoyed was taking time to reflect upon our many experiences we’d share together, twenty plus years ago.
Looking back allowed us to revisit past experiences with the clarity of hindsight.

New Insights

As we shared our thoughts and feelings, we found they often revealed insights that we’d missed in the moment, from many years ago.
Indeed, we found looking back useful, because it gave us both a new perspective.
Revisiting those moments with Dave added another layer of richness, as his perspective shed light on details I’d never considered.
Part of enjoying life lies in celebrating our accomplishments and milestones, and there were certainly plenty of those during the time Dave and I worked side by side.
Whilst reflecting on some of those daunting challenges we faced together, our shared response was, “I’d never thought about it quite like that before.”
Looking back isn’t just about nostalgia—it’s an opportunity for growth.
We both recognised how far we’d come and understood a little better how the many challenges we’d faced together had shaped us, and to some extent, influenced our future decisions.
There is something very powerful about reflecting on the past together.
We both realised how much we’d influenced each other; in ways we’d never considered.
Looking back certainly helped us to understand how our past experiences had shaped us, but somehow it also helped us to look ahead to the future with renewed confidence.
It was a real joy to strengthen our bonds of friendship, celebrate our successes and gain a deeper empathy for and understanding of each other – after far, far too long!
Thanks Dave – and I’ll pay next time!
When you look back on where you’ve been, how does it shape the way you see your path ahead?

A Ball of String

Recently I was asked, “As a facilitator, what are your favourite learning tools in your backpack?”
I smiled…
There are many “essentials” that I carry in my backpack when I facilitate a workshop.
– Pens, markers (sharpies or neuland refillables), dry board markers, paper, post it notes.
– CCS Cards, Organisation Cards and other cards to write on
– My laptop, a pointer/clicker, extra batteries, an external mouse and a thumb drive.
– Masking tape.
– Power adaptors
– Rubber bands and Paper clips
And last but not least, my very favourite, it goes everywhere, my 𝒃𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒐𝒇 𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈!
It’s a short list but these few supplies have gotten me out of a lot of jams, consistently bring energy to the room, and help me to create memorable moments in any learning session.
So why a ball of string?
A simple ball of string is often underestimated, but it is a highly effective tool in facilitation.
Its versatility makes it a powerful symbol and practical tool for measuring and demonstrating different behaviours and concepts in various workshops.
Here are 2 simple examples of how I’ve used it recently…

Example 1

As a measurement tool, by using it as a line on the floor and asking participants to gauge their thoughts and feelings about something.
For example, I explain that one end of the line is “Strongly Agree,” the opposite end is “Strongly Disagree,” and the middle represents a neutral stance.
The activity always involves making decisions about how much they agree or disagree with statements or questions that I ask.
On every occasion, I invite participants to position themselves on the line to indicate their view, leading to some fascinating discussion and varied opinions.
Another one I use string for is to help people understand the importance of connection and communication within a team.

Example 2

When one person talks or shares an idea, they hold onto the string and toss the ball to someone else.
As the string weaves across the group, it creates a visual web of connections, symbolising how each person’s input influences the others.
It can be a powerful illustration of interdependency in any team, and how communication flows through and binds a team together.
A ball of string is more than a basic tool as it can symbolise and practically demonstrate essential leadership behaviours.
What’s in your backpack?

Stretching, Growing and Learning

Over many years, I have had the opportunity and privilege to work in many leadership roles.
Lessons in leadership come in many ways.
I’ve certainly been stretched on many occasions as I struggled to get my head around the particular challenge of the day.
I’ve grown too in knowledge and understanding about how to handle many difficult situations.
And, I have learned so much about people, behaviours and what it means to be a good leader by putting the interests and needs of others first.
Oftentimes, I have benefited too from the guidance of other leaders who have inspired me.
Reflecting upon the last three years in Belgium and the Netherlands, working with 300+ young 18 – 26-year-old future potential leaders, I learned many lessons.

Stretching…

Time and time again, stretching opportunities came along for each of them to learn new skills.
Daily, growth opportunities arose for all of them to take on new challenges.
And regularly they all had opportunities to receive constructive feedback through 1-1 and team coaching/mentoring sessions.
Together we celebrated our successes.
When times were tough, when failures happened, we’d counsel with one another and figure out how to improve.
We learned a lot about slowing down.
Partnering with them, empowering them and trusting them to deliver their best work was key.
In any new growth situation, where we are learning and growing, our focus on what matters most is paramount.
Stretching happened every day.
And like many physical exercises, it is easy to grow tired!
No pain, no gain!
Small steps and little victories are key to forward progress.
Leadership guru, John Maxwell whilst speaking about the Law of the Rubber Band said; “Growth stops when you lose the tension between where you are and where you could be. There are many uses for a rubber band, but it’s of no use or value until it’s stretched.”
Just like a rubber band, you will never reach your full potential unless you are stretched!
Frequently, I was asked “How do I become a better leader?”
To start, take yourself out of your comfort zone and be prepared to be stretched.
Embrace the tension and put the resistance to work!
What kind of things are stretching you at the moment?

Thinking Together

I marvel at the thoughts, insights and commitment that I see from my colleagues and dear friends in my leadership, learning, coaching, mentoring, training and facilitation network.
It is clear to me that they are learning from their own journeys and experiences of life.
Willingly, freely and regularly they share those learnings with others.
There is a great power in all of our journeys.
There are critical learning points and instruction all along the way.
We just need to slow down long enough to learn those lessons for ourselves.

Potential

As learning protagonists, professional coaches and mentors, our responsibility is to help unleash the real potential of those people with whom we work.
And how do we do that?
One meaningful conversation at a time.
My personal witness is that I have seen many individuals figuratively take a step into the “unknown” with a good coach or mentor by their side.
How have you grown these last few years?
What leadership lessons have you learned through your journey in life?

…thy might

Reflecting this morning, I was mindful of a scripture in Ecclesiastes 9:10.
“Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might…”
In the world in which we live, there is much worthwhile work for every one of us to do.
And when we do, we must remember these words from Solomon in Ecclesiastes.
That we must go and do, whatever it is, with our might!
And going and doing at times may mean a lot of actual work.
And yet, once again, I am grateful for my peers and fellow coaches who have found something to do and choose to go and do it with their might.
With the help of a coach or mentor, all of us must come to an honest, open self-examination, an awareness within, as to who and what we want to be, do and achieve.
“To the noble art of getting things done we must add the more noble art of leaving things undone.” – ancient oriental saying.
Coping with the complex and diverse challenges of everyday life, which by itself, is not an easy task, can upset the balance and harmony we seek.
I know of many good people who care a great deal and are trying very hard to maintain balance, but they sometimes feel overwhelmed and defeated.
If that’s you – then reach out to a good coach or mentor today, with their might, they “might” be able to help you along your journey in life.

Friendly Rivalry

I don’t know how exactly, but somehow, I was 1-0 up.
The last time Dofna and I sat around the chess board, I’d managed to snatch a surprising victory!
I hadn’t played for a very long time.
Teasingly, I enjoyed ribbing him about that triumph for the last 9 months or so. 😊
It’s my experience that a strong rival inspires the protagonist to become better and does so for the rival as well; in other words, we both fed off (and had a few laughs) of being competitive with one another for a good while.
Our return match was long overdue.
And for the last several weeks, we’d planned to get back together.
Yesterday, Missionary Preparation Day (P-day), visitors arrived at the mission home.
I discovered they’d already been practicing and honing their chess skills, playing a few games that morning already.
On the other hand, I’d never looked at a chess board for 9 months!
On a very sunny morning yesterday, in Leidschendam, we geared up to let the battle for dominion commence – and off we went.
The energy created in our friendly rivalry helped us to focus our efforts for sure.
It was a chance for each of us to shine!
The quiet intensity of the battle was all consuming.
The first game went by all too quickly.
He’d obviously been fine tuning his skills.
It was 1-1.
I used a well-rehearsed opening in match 2.
Somehow though, quickly he seized my Queen.
Incredibly, a few moves later, I captured his Queen.
Our concentration levels were at fever pitch as the ferociousness of the battle reached its climax.
You could feel the mental energy!
Sadly, for me, the end came swiftly and painfully, he was victorious.
I told him to keep the hat!
I’m sure too, he’ll enjoy ribbing me for the next few years that he’s 2-1 up!
“We learn little from victory, much from defeat” – Japanese Proverb.
And the moral of the story?
𝑷𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒄𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈!

Everyday Items

As we began our Social Media Leadership Council (SMLC) yesterday, we did a fun learning activity to start our session.

In keeping with a message, I heard yesterday from my friends at the We Believe App, “How can you see more of the Saviour in the world around you today?” – we engaged in our activity together.

I invited everyone in the meeting to wander around the mission office for a couple of minutes, select a random article and return.

Items

Each of them duly returned with their objects in hand as follows:

A Lint Remover (Defuzzer)
An empty metal container
A wheel of fortune
A can of Mexican beans
An umbrella
A bright floral lei
A magnifying glass
A plastic toy gun
A statue

I gave them a couple of minutes to think about how they could see things from a different perspective and use the object to teach a gospel principle – admittedly some objects were easier than others!

Lessons

What followed were some amazing object lessons on principles of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Here are a few examples I can remember from memory.

A lint remover is like the atonement of Jesus Christ by removing spots and blemishes from our lives.

In order to benefit from the nourishment in the can of beans, we need to open it up, just like we need to open up the scriptures to benefit from the spiritual nutrition found therein.

A magnifying glass – God magnifies all of our efforts as we focus on Him.

An umbrella can protect us on rainy days, just like the holy ghost who protects us from many things.

The wheel of fortune – sometimes we don’t know what will happen next, we have a limited view, but as we move forward with small steps, trusting in God, things are better.

And so it went on…

Let everyday items bring to mind the wonderful promises of Jesus Christ.

Take time today to notice Him in the small moments of life, which you may not have seen before.

His creations are all around us and everything can be connected to Him.

How do you find Jesus Christ in the everyday things that you do?

Mission Leadership Council

Every six weeks, the leaders of the mission gather together to counsel about the relevant matters of the day.
Our topics yesterday included:
– Study Your Language (SYL) – daily!
– Teaching the Gospel of Jesus Christ
– Drawing on the Powers of Heaven
– Being united, knit together as one
– Dealing with constant Change
– Hot Chocolate and Sifting – see Luke 22:31-32
– To the Rescue – Ministering to the one.
– Christlike attributes
– Team work
– Communication Skills
– Social Media and Content Updates…
These are very special days, never to be forgotten.
As missionaries come and go in the mission, gaining an understanding of leadership and counselling together, is such an important part of their growth and development.
Oh – and we also like to have a little bit of fun too!
The pictures capture just one of our lively learning activities of the day!

Groundhog Day

Every six weeks, Monic and I return to Schiphol Airport.
In the beginning of our mission, the pattern was arrivals on a Tuesday and departures on a Thursday.
Now, departures and arrivals all happen on the same day, a Friday.
We’re often there in between, for many other reasons too.
Regardless, we have a deep familiarity with Schiphol and our 42 day, six-week cycle.
Over these last 2 ½ years of consistent practice, we have learned many lessons.
Do you remember the 1993 movie Groundhog Day?
In the movie Bill Murray’s plays a cynical weatherman, who for some reason gets stuck in a repetitive time loop.
Repeating the same cycle over and over again (that was our 23rd last week) reminds me of the story line of the movie.
In the movie, through consistent practice, Bill Murray’s character Phil Connors, learns how to be remarkably resourceful by turning a challenging day into a great day.

Changes

During the course of the movie, he 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒔.
The lesson?
The more you focus on others by serving, being grateful and appreciative, the happier you will be.
In real life, through consistent practice, each missionary learns how to be remarkably resourceful by turning many challenging days into many great days.
Each missionary 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒔.
Likewise, their final day, is also a challenging one.
Transformed, these young men and women depart for home having become some of our dearest friends.
We all struggle to say farewell.
Departures are emotion filled, with tears of sadness and hugs aplenty.
In between their arrival and departure, we’ve experienced so much together – we’ve all 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐝.
Moments later, the arrivals are also emotion filled, but this time the tears are filled with joy, wonder, excitement, and hugs aplenty.
The journey ahead will transform them too.
Every time is the same, but different.
What am I learning over and over again?
We create our own reality, by living to learn and learning to live.
Over and over again, we have the choice to make today, and every day, either sad or happy, dull or inspiring, meaningless or fulfilling.
What will you choose today to make it great?

Maturity

I am a witness to the power of missionary service.
Serving in a foreign land, learning a new language and adjusting to a different culture makes a tremendous difference in the life of every young missionary.
Departing from home, they arrive in the mission with many childish characteristics and behaviours.
It’s time to grow up!
Time passes.
Change happens.
Far from home, they become adults.
“When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became an adult, I put away childish things ” (1 Cor. 13:11).
Unlike childlike, childish suggests irresponsibility, being self-centred and immature.
Each of us will not mature spiritually until we choose, as the Apostle Paul phrased it, to “put away childish things.”
Missionary service is intense, demanding and frequently filled with hardship.
Yet, filled with a new purpose, each young man or woman, learns about being credible, reliable, accountable, disciplined and builds relationships of trust with God and others.
They develop their faith in God, they acquire wisdom through experience, they understand how to serve and love others.
They work hard, recognising that obedience, consistency, and endurance are all keys to success.
As they also learn to lead others, they must first master themselves and be steadfast in their service.
They choose to become Christlike and follow in His ways.
Over and over again, I watch each of them mature into adulthood.
How have you chosen to “put away childish things”?