Tag Archive for: Learning

A different kind of tired

I’ve had a great, but exhausting week!

At the start of the new leadership programme – Lead the Way, with Aviva in Perth, there’s a familiar pattern emerging.

People arrive mid-afternoon, often after an early start and a long journey.

They mostly arrive with a little travel tiredness, having transitioned from back-to-back meetings into something unknown.

After all, they’ve just stepped away from the buzz of their day jobs, where decisions are constant and time is tight.

So, we slow them down.

It’s one of the quiet, yet very special gifts of this programme: two full days where they’re not doing the day job, rather, they’re encouraged to think differently.

Reflecting.

Paying attention to themselves and others in ways they usually don’t have time for.

A New Tired

And yet by the end of those two days, my discovery this week is they’re still tired, just in a completely other way.

It’s not the tiredness of logistics or deadlines.

It’s the stretch that comes from working with new models, testing fresh ideas, and forming new connections, not only in their minds, but with each other too.

It takes a great deal of effort to tune into those emotions, to have honest conversations, and explore their own leadership habits.

It’s also the kind of tired that comes from meaningful work.

And somewhere in all that effort, I have witnessed many who start to see a shift in mindset.

A quiet clarity.

The occasional Aha moment where something lands differently and opens up in a new way.

It’s not always comfortable, but it is purposeful. And for many, it’s long overdue.

So yes, they do leave tired.

But it’s a good tired, for each of them.

A stretched, thoughtful, worthwhile kind of tired.

And from what I’ve seen, it’s the kind that stays with you.

When was the last time you were stretched in a way that felt meaningful?

New. Uncomfortable. Stretching.

Yesterday was my first time running the new Lead the Way leadership programme for Aviva in Perth.
I’d worked with my co-facilitator Jane many times online over the last 26 days, but this was the first time we had actually met in person.
So right from the start, I was feeling that mix of excitement and a wee bit of nerves too…
And I wasn’t the only one!
As delegates started arriving, there was a quiet tension in the waiting area.
A subtle mix of anticipation, nerves, and curiosity.
Uncomfortable, yes. But that’s often where the good stuff starts to happen.
Jane and I were definitely in the stretch zone too. After all we were delivering this session live together for the first time.
There’s always a bit of uncertainty when you’re doing something new, even if you’ve prepared.
Life has taught me for sure, that growth doesn’t happen in your comfort zone!
Early on in the session, we invited each delegate to pause and simply notice what they were feeling.
Not to fix it or fight it – just to notice.
There’s real power in staying present, in leaning into the awkward, uncertain, or emotionally charged moments and I have learned its essential for growth, but not easy for everyone.
We talked about how useful it is to stay with those tricky emotions rather than brushing them aside.
In leadership and in life too, I know that discomfort can show up right before something meaningful happens.
That ability of noticing without reacting is key when you’re leading teams too.
It can help you understand your own reactions and allows you to empathise with the emotions of your team.
By the end of the day, everyone had started to explore their own leadership style with more honest feelings.
There was more openness, more self-awareness, and definitely a bit more ease in the room too.
It was a solid start and a good reminder that discomfort isn’t a sign you’re doing it wrong.
Most of the time, it means you’re right where you need to be.
Day 2 – here we come!
What helps you stay grounded when things feel uncertain?

The crazy side of leadership

Having a BYU student come stay with us, has brought out our younger thinking again, and on Saturday, we decided to do something fun together.
Monic, Amilya and I spent the afternoon at Adventure Island crazy golf.
It was a fun hour, full of laughter, silly obstacles, and some interesting putting techniques!
Both Monic and Amilya even managed to get a hole in 1…!
Monic emerged as the victor with the lowest score, I was second, and Amilya took third spot.
But truthfully, the real joy wasn’t in the positions, it was in the hilarity of it all, somehow, I even managed to miss scoring one hole altogether. 😆
Learning is all around us, and reflecting afterwards, two simple leadership lessons stood out.

Lessons Learned

Firstly, like life, the course was full of twists and turns.
Crazy golf is deliberately designed to throw you off balance.
Just when you think you’ve got a straight shot to the hole, a hidden slope, an awkward obstacle, or some weird random bounce or twist, changes everything.
Leadership is no different.
Plans rarely play out in straight forward, predictable ways.
Obstacles crop up, a few spanners are thrown in the works, things shift unexpectedly, and what looks simple suddenly becomes really complex.
Yet it’s my experience, that good leaders don’t get upset, they simply adapt, laugh at the obstacles, and keep moving forward.
Secondly, celebrate each other’s wins.
On Saturday, we kept a scorecard, but at the end, what mattered was cheering one another on.
Monic’s victory became a fun celebration for us all.
There were several high fives and congratulations offered on the course.
In teams and organisations, many times I’ve witnessed leaders who celebrate others’ successes create an environment where people feel recognised and valued.
That spirit of encouragement can lead to even more motivation and trust than any personal award could.

So, whether on a putting green filled with pirate-ship obstacles or in the middle of a leadership challenge at work, remember to expect the twists, and cheer loudly when others succeed.

In the end, it isn’t just about the score, it’s really about the experience you create together.
What “crazy golf” moments are shaping your leadership right now?

A Divine Seating Plan

As we entered Kyle and Emily’s wedding celebration last Monday, the very first thing that caught everyone’s eye in the function room, was the seating plan.
It was simply divine.
It was framed with fun photos and carefully arranged names. (Talking of photos, I’m sure there will be more soon!)
It was clear too, that they had given a lot of thought to where every guest would sit.
At every table, we found our names on an individual place card.
There was no guesswork, no confusion and no one was left out.
Each person had a place prepared for them, including Oscar in his wee highchair.

God’s Seating Plan

It reminded me of a simple gospel truth, that our Heavenly Father has a “seating plan” for each of us.
He knows us individually, loves us personally, and has a divine seating arrangement for each of us in our families, communities, and circumstances, in order to help us grow.
Nothing is random to Him.
The longer I live, the more sure I know, that God is at the helm.
Just as Kyle and Emily thoughtfully arranged their guests so everyone would feel comfortable and included, similarly, God lovingly prepares opportunities and circumstances where we can grow into who He knows we can become.
Sometimes we may wish we were at a different “table,” or sitting with different people, but it has been my experience that over time, as we trust in Him, we begin to see His wisdom and love.
Jesus Christ taught His disciples, “I go to prepare a place for you” (John 14:2).
The ultimate promise is that each of us has a place in His kingdom, lovingly prepared and reserved, just like Kyle and Emily had done for each guest at their wedding.
Where is God inviting you to sit right now, and what do you think He might want you to learn there?

A new chapter

I’m happy to share that I’m starting a new position as Leadership Development Facilitator at Aviva!
Day one (yesterday) was all about collecting my new IT kit, getting set up, and (most importantly!) receiving a very warm virtual welcome from my new colleagues.
I’m really looking forward to collaborating on impactful leadership development programmes over the coming months with them all in Perth.
And yes… the thoughtful wee welcome biscuit that arrived in the post was the perfect finishing touch! It was much appreciated and enjoyed! 🍪⭐
I’ll still be doing a little bit of coaching and leadership work through my own company, plus all the other voluntary work including the FORB Foundation.
Here’s to learning, growing and making a difference together.

From Rolls to Rest

My wife and I enjoyed a mini tour and a wee wander through some of Scotland’s iconic spots yesterday with Carter Hunsaker and Izaak Bevell.

Driving on the left was tricky for our guests so I volunteered to take the stress away for them for the day and allowed them to relax in the back seats.

Our journey passed by Knockhill and onwards through Glendevon, arriving at the world-famous Gleneagles Hotel and Golf Resort.

I thought it would be nice to show them some of the rolling fairways, the luscious greens and the grand hotel.

But for these two dear American friends from our Belgium and Netherlands days, it was all about the wheels and the choppers!

From a gleaming 1960’s Rolls Royce parked proudly out front on the double yellow lines, to rows of shiny sports cars that looked like they’d just rolled off a movie set, and a helicopter preparing for an afternoon flight, they were in their element.

And when they weren’t admiring the motors, they were soaking up the view from the deckchairs like Lords of the Manor!

Somehow – I was able to squeeze in for a photo too!

Their grins were as wide as the 18th fairway!

Onward Travel

On to Crieff, the Sma Glen, the Falls of Braan, the Hermitage and a wee shopping spree in Pitlochry all followed on, to make for a fun day out.

Heading home, these two young, vibrant, and energetic lads – simply couldn’t stand the pace.

After all the excitement of the day, no sooner had we left the car park in Pitlochry, that both of them were fast asleep in the back seat of the car!

After 7 European countries in only a few weeks, the two of them were out cold.

And you know what? I was glad to see it.

Because they had soaked up everything: the landscapes, the luxury cars, the helicopters, the history, and the fresh Scottish air.

They gave the day their all. And their batteries had officially hit zero.

Leadership Lesson

It reminded me of something I often overlook in leadership and coaching: we can’t expect sustained excellence without building in space to recharge.

Too often, we glorify pushing through.

But smart leadership recognises that our energy levels are finite.

Taking time to simple recover isn’t weakness… it’s wisdom.

So next time your team’s running on empty, or even just quieting down after a big win, don’t fill the silence.

Let them rest.

Let taking a pause do its work.

Because that’s where the reflection happens.

And that’s where growth sticks.

Even a Rolls Royce needs downtime between drives.

Defining Experiences

Over the weekend, we spent time with a dear friend, Phenix Kline, and her husband, Sam, who we met for the first time.
They were visiting from California.
It has been 11 years since we first met Phenix, when she was a full-time missionary in Dunfermline.
She visited our home regularly back then, always with warmth and a quiet strength.
As we talked and reminisced, Phenix began sharing stories from those visits – small, seemingly ordinary moments to us.
But to her, they weren’t ordinary at all.
They were defining.
She remembered the feelings, the kindness and the impact, those moments had upon her.
The was one story in particular she shared about a pivotal leadership session I had facilitated for her and a number of her colleagues at the time.
I’d walked into the room with a whole bunch of leadership and personal development books and talked about each of them 1 by 1.
That moment, along with a few others had shaped her life in ways we never knew at the time.
It reminded me of something important: We often have no idea which parts of our lives will leave a mark on others.
And that is particularly the case, not only in the facilitation of a leadership or coaching session, but also in our day-to-day friendships and conversations.
We often learn so much in our quiet, everyday interactions.
And yet, they can echo for years.
What small moment have you been part of lately that might matter more than you think?

When the Journey Stalls

Recently, while driving south on a long trip, we hit a massive delay.
Traffic slowed to a crawl and then a stop, not because of any obstacles in our own lanes, but as we listened to Radio 2, we learned of an accident on the opposite side of the motorway.
Like many of these moments, it was a reminder of life’s unpredictability.
The delay cost us nearly an hour, and the accident shut down the northbound side for miles.
As frustrating as it was, it reminded us of another incident years ago, driving home from a meeting in Utrecht, headed toward Leidschendam.
That night, there had been an accident on the “snelweg.”
We were far back in the queue and stuck.
Then something unusual happened: people got out of their cars.
Some lit cigarettes. Some chatted. Soon there was large crowds.
I got out to investigate further.
Shortly thereafter, I remember offering brownies from our meeting and spending time talking with total strangers for a while.
There was a kind of spontaneous community born from that unusual moment.
What struck me was how quickly people shifted from isolation (each in their own car, their own world) to connection.
Monic and I have spoken of that event often.
That hour of delay became something meaningful, not because of where we were, but because of how everyone showed up to connect.
It was something we’d never experienced before, nor have again since.
Sometimes life can suddenly bring us to a halt, plans can stall, and our progress stops.
We can get stuck behind a difficult tragedy or trial that comes along.
But in those moments, we can either get upset… or connect, like that day on the Dutch snelweg.
We can either retreat inward or look outward and bless others, even with something as simple as conversation or a brownie.
“Bear ye one another’s burdens and so fulfil the law of Christ.” Galatians 6:2
We rush through life so fast, but delays remind us to slow down and actually see each other.
Maybe that’s when we’re most able to help carry someone else’s load.
When things stop, don’t just wait. Look around. Who needs you?

Built Right, Still Wrong…

At home these last few weeks, Monic has been on another mission, painting and decorating.
 
At times the house has been upside down and, on a few occasions, I’ve been enlisted to help.
 
It may have been to move a bed, lift a rug, order something online, build some flat pack furniture, pick up something from a shop etc.
 
Monic’s work ethic is amazing and when she gets started, you simply need to get out of the way.
 
It got me thinking about a few things – especially when it came to flat pack self-assembly furniture this week.
 
I ordered the items online, picked them up from the store and duly started to put the bedside cabinet together.
 
It wasn’t too difficult and within an hour the first was completed.
 
Having built one, the second was easier and within half an hour, the last thing I needed to do was put the drawer in.
 
But alas, for some reason, it wouldn’t fit!?
 
Cue that familiar DIY moment: denial, frustration, blame.
 
Was it me? Did I mess something up?
 
Stumped, I took a closer look.
 
The drawer rail pre-installed by the manufacturer was the wrong one.
 
I couldn’t do a thing.
 
I called on Monic to check it wasn’t just me seeing something wrongly…
 
She confirmed that no tool could fix that.

The Life Lesson

 
And that’s when it clicked, this was a real-world lesson in control.
 
– I had 𝒕𝒐𝒕𝒂𝒍 control when I laid out the parts and followed the instructions.
– I had 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆 control when I checked my work and asked for a second opinion.
– But with the faulty rail? I had 𝒛𝒆𝒓𝒐 control. All I could do was adapt. Accept. Return it and reorder.
 
On reflection – I followed the instruction manual with exactness, step by step.
 
But the part was wrong from the start.
 
There was nothing I could do to fix it.
 
Sometimes, even when you do everything right, things still won’t work—because the problem was built in from the start.
 
The real test is how you respond when the plan fails.
 
Are you solving problems—or just following instructions?

Front Row Seats

In May 2023, I found myself in Frankfurt, Germany, at a Europe Central Area Leadership Meeting.
Elder David A. Bednar of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles was presiding, and leaders from across Europe gathered for instruction.
As we arrived, we quietly took our seats toward the rear of the chapel, but Elder Bednar had other ideas.
As he began, he invited those sitting at the back to come forward.
“Come closer,” he said.
And so, a little reluctantly, we did.
We moved toward the front right row. Then, Elder Bednar gestured again, “No,” he signalled. “Right here, in the front row.”
We moved again, and I found myself sitting directly in front of him, within touching distance, 2 metres away, for the next 4 hours.
Something happened.
Time and again, he made direct eye contact with me (he has brown ones – like my own).
Again and again, it felt as though he was speaking not 𝒂𝒕 me—but 𝒕𝒐 me.
The doctrine, the invitations, the Spirit—everything felt really personal.
He wasn’t just addressing a group of leaders.
In those moments, it felt like he was addressing 𝐦𝐞.

Reflections

Since that day, I’ve reflected on what it meant to be invited to the front row, not only physically, but spiritually too.
In recent years, President Russell M. Nelson said, “We have 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐭 𝐫𝐨𝐰 𝐬𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐬 to witness live what the prophets anciently only envisioned.” Later he also said, “Do you see what is happening right before our eyes?”
We’re not in the balcony seats. We’re not watching a recording later.
As the work of salvation hastens, we have front-row seats as witnesses to the troubling times of the last days prior to the second coming of Jesus Christ—and it’s all happening “𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬.”
To see more clearly, some of us may have to move closer.
We’re not just spectators—we’re participants.
There’s something unforgettable about a front-row seat.
You see things others miss.
You feel the energy.
You can’t look away.
Because when we choose to come closer, the Saviour meets our eyes, and nothing is ever quite the same again.
Will you stay at the back, or will you move to the front row seats?