Tag Archive for: coaching

From Rolls to Rest

My wife and I enjoyed a mini tour and a wee wander through some of Scotland’s iconic spots yesterday with Carter Hunsaker and Izaak Bevell.

Driving on the left was tricky for our guests so I volunteered to take the stress away for them for the day and allowed them to relax in the back seats.

Our journey passed by Knockhill and onwards through Glendevon, arriving at the world-famous Gleneagles Hotel and Golf Resort.

I thought it would be nice to show them some of the rolling fairways, the luscious greens and the grand hotel.

But for these two dear American friends from our Belgium and Netherlands days, it was all about the wheels and the choppers!

From a gleaming 1960’s Rolls Royce parked proudly out front on the double yellow lines, to rows of shiny sports cars that looked like they’d just rolled off a movie set, and a helicopter preparing for an afternoon flight, they were in their element.

And when they weren’t admiring the motors, they were soaking up the view from the deckchairs like Lords of the Manor!

Somehow – I was able to squeeze in for a photo too!

Their grins were as wide as the 18th fairway!

Onward Travel

On to Crieff, the Sma Glen, the Falls of Braan, the Hermitage and a wee shopping spree in Pitlochry all followed on, to make for a fun day out.

Heading home, these two young, vibrant, and energetic lads – simply couldn’t stand the pace.

After all the excitement of the day, no sooner had we left the car park in Pitlochry, that both of them were fast asleep in the back seat of the car!

After 7 European countries in only a few weeks, the two of them were out cold.

And you know what? I was glad to see it.

Because they had soaked up everything: the landscapes, the luxury cars, the helicopters, the history, and the fresh Scottish air.

They gave the day their all. And their batteries had officially hit zero.

Leadership Lesson

It reminded me of something I often overlook in leadership and coaching: we can’t expect sustained excellence without building in space to recharge.

Too often, we glorify pushing through.

But smart leadership recognises that our energy levels are finite.

Taking time to simple recover isn’t weakness… it’s wisdom.

So next time your team’s running on empty, or even just quieting down after a big win, don’t fill the silence.

Let them rest.

Let taking a pause do its work.

Because that’s where the reflection happens.

And that’s where growth sticks.

Even a Rolls Royce needs downtime between drives.

The Power of Being Heard

Recently, while running a virtual learning session for an organisation, a particularly thorny issue surfaced.
Several participants raised it at once.
Supportive comments began to fill the chat and thumbs-up emojis followed.
It clearly struck a chord with everyone.
I slowed down and paused.
My first instinct was, how can I help fix this?
But in that pause, something clicked for me.
I looked at what was happening, not just the words being used, but the energy in the room (even a virtual one).
I realised we’d created something important: a psychologically safe space.
And in that space, those participants weren’t actually asking for solutions, nor were they looking for me to jump in and fix anything.
They simply wanted to be heard.
And I mean 𝒕𝒓𝒖𝒍𝒚 heard.
That moment reminded me of what I’ve learned again and again in coaching: people don’t always need answers.
They often don’t need you to solve their problems, how could you really anyway?
What they need is to feel understood.
To know that someone is genuinely listening, without judgement or a checklist of fixes at hand.
This is empathy in action.
Not the soft, fluffy kind that gets tossed around far too easily, but the grounded, humankind.
In that space we stop trying to solve everything and instead sit with people in their reality.
We listen not to reply, but to understand.
Sometimes the most powerful thing we can offer isn’t a solution.
It’s simply our presence.
What gets in the way of your ability to just listen?

Defining Experiences

Over the weekend, we spent time with a dear friend, Phenix Kline, and her husband, Sam, who we met for the first time.
They were visiting from California.
It has been 11 years since we first met Phenix, when she was a full-time missionary in Dunfermline.
She visited our home regularly back then, always with warmth and a quiet strength.
As we talked and reminisced, Phenix began sharing stories from those visits – small, seemingly ordinary moments to us.
But to her, they weren’t ordinary at all.
They were defining.
She remembered the feelings, the kindness and the impact, those moments had upon her.
The was one story in particular she shared about a pivotal leadership session I had facilitated for her and a number of her colleagues at the time.
I’d walked into the room with a whole bunch of leadership and personal development books and talked about each of them 1 by 1.
That moment, along with a few others had shaped her life in ways we never knew at the time.
It reminded me of something important: We often have no idea which parts of our lives will leave a mark on others.
And that is particularly the case, not only in the facilitation of a leadership or coaching session, but also in our day-to-day friendships and conversations.
We often learn so much in our quiet, everyday interactions.
And yet, they can echo for years.
What small moment have you been part of lately that might matter more than you think?

Shoulder to Shoulder

Life is complex and human beings are complex.
In my lifetime, I’ve had the privilege of working with people from all walks of life and from a host of different nations and cultures.
Subsequently, in the various professional and voluntary roles I’ve enjoyed, I am a witness to the happiness and joy life can bring for many, along with the problems and challenges that come along too.
In so many ways, our life can be good, great even – and then in an instant, it can be filled with disappointment, grief, anguish, misery and pain.
There is one thing I know for sure, and that is life will intermittently bring challenges to each and every one of us, arriving when we least expect them, in good times or bad.
We all experience difficult times in our lives, and then we must endure for a while.
Yet, in the trials, there are frequently many opportunities for growth and learning.

Coaching and Leadership

That’s where coaching and leadership come in.
As John Wooden said, “A good coach can change a game, a great coach can change a life.”
I’ve seen this in action countless times, not just on playing fields, but in workplaces, communities, congregations, and moments of personal crisis.
One of my most vivid memories was sitting quietly by a dear friend’s side in hospital.
I didn’t have the right words, and maybe there weren’t any.
But I listened. I was present.
And in the stillness, they turned to me and said, “Thanks for being here, you give me confidence.”
That moment reminded me that leadership isn’t always about grand gestures, rather, it’s often about showing up, holding space, and helping others believe in their own strength.
Coaching is about helping people find clarity in the fog, and strength they didn’t know they had.
Leadership is about creating an environment where people can thrive, even when the road is rough.
While we can’t always control what happens, we can control how we respond and with the right support, people are capable of amazing resilience.
Life’s challenges are inevitable.
But with guidance, encouragement, and shared purpose, they can become the very stepping stones that carry us to our next best chapter.
Who in your life right now might be waiting for you to simply show up, listen, and help them believe in their own strength?

Doorstep Deals

The doorbell rang.
A stranger stood there offering milk delivery.
I replied “we don’t use milk, rather oat milk” …
Thinking that would be the end of it.
He paused.
Smiled.
Then said, “we deliver that too.”
A minute or two later I signed up.
And now twice a week, a glass bottle of oat milk appears on our doorstep.
No plastic, no fuss, just a thick, creamy bottle of local oat milk that tastes better than anything off the supermarket shelf.
It’s a small, nostalgic thing, that takes me back to my youth and hearing the clinking of bottles in the early morning.
Back to when the milkman was part of everyday streel life, quiet, consistent and reliable.
And now, in 2025, it’s happening again, only this time, it’s oat milk!
And here is the sales leadership lesson.
In the moment I positioned my “no” statement…
He listened, adapted and offered something I actually needed.
Just a person, building trust, one doorstep at a time.
This oat milk delivery isn’t just convenient; it’s a small reminder that progress doesn’t have to mean forgetting the past.
I’m off to put out my empties…
What old idea might you bring back, and do better?

The Oscar Shift

On Saturday, Monic and I headed to Glasgow bright and early for a very special first: our first all-day grandparent babysitting assignment – a full 12 hours!
A whole day with Oscar, something we’d both been looking forward to with excitement (and maybe a touch of nervous anticipation too).
From the moment we stepped through the door, it was full-on Oscar time.
Playing, singing, reading, pushing him in his pram, feeding him (yoghurt was a clear favourite), changing nappies, carrying him around, and watching him explore the world from the speed and freedom of his walker.
He’s not crawling or walking yet, but that didn’t stop him from finding his way into every corner of every room.
Somehow the cat litter tin storage box was his favourite thing to get into!
There must have been something about the lid and the noise it made every time he dropped it on the floor…😁
He was in great spirits all day, smiling constantly, curious about everything.
That said, we really enjoyed the short reprieves during each nap time to catch our breath. 😴
By the time we returned home, we were surprised at just how tired we felt – exhausted!
I was deadbeat.

Life Lessons

After reflecting, we realised it wasn’t simply the physical busyness, rather, it was the constant alertness.
We were on guard the entire day, watching for hazards, anticipating needs, and making sure every moment, he was safe and happy.
It’s the kind of attention that takes energy.
And it got me thinking, that this is true far beyond babysitting.
In family life, leadership, coaching, mentoring, or any relationship where we care deeply, real commitment isn’t passive.
It’s active.
It means staying engaged, noticing small signals, and anticipating the next step before it becomes a crisis.
Being “on guard” isn’t about fear, it’s much more about caring, being ready, and fully present.
Where in your life right now would greater alertness make the biggest difference?

The Power of Networking

A few days ago, out of the blue I received a message on LinkedIn…
“It’s great to meet you. I’m a friend of Brian J. Grim and he mentioned your name to me when I told him I’ll be visiting Scotland. I’ll be visiting the Dundee area this weekend!”
That was the beginning of my association with Robert.
He simply reached out.
We had a few back n forward messages on LinkedIn and established that due to various meeting commitments we could meet for lunch in Edinburgh.
We’d never met before in our life, yet we had so many mutual connections, shared interests and values, it just felt like a good idea to sit down and chat!
And I’m glad we did.
We met up a couple of days ago.
It was extremely uncanny about our life’s similarities, personal interests and general like-mindedness!
We talked about everything from social media, BYU, religious freedom, faith, coaching, leadership, goal setting, career development, and a whole host of personal friends and professional colleagues in our network.
We enjoyed our 90-minute conversation together so much, we determined to keep in touch.
And what is the lesson?
Don’t underestimate the value of reaching out—or saying yes when someone else does.
Just one single message can spark a connection that grows into something meaningful.
In today’s world, relationships and networking are crucial.
Networking can and does open doors.
Take the time to connect.
It has been my experience that the true value of networking lies in the quality of relationships rather than in the number of connections we might have.
Ideas and opportunities arise in our conversations every day and spread through people so quickly now.
And all of it – support, insight, inspiration, often begins with a simple hello and someone reaching out.
Its been my experience that you just never know where a single connection might lead.
That is the power of networking.
Who’s someone you’ve been meaning to reach out to?

The Senior Discount Advantage

A few weeks ago, I officially joined the “Golden Club.”
I turned 60, and in Scotland, that comes with a rather wonderful perk: a free bus pass!
That’s right, I can now roam the length and breadth of Scotland, without spending a single penny on a bus fare.
Edinburgh? Free. Inverness? Free. Fort William? …. Free!
Now, to be honest, I didn’t rush to use it.
Something about showing my bus pass, made me hesitate for a wee while.
Plus, my loving family and friends didn’t hold back with their gentle mockery, sniggers and raised eyebrows!
But, once I actually used the pass, I realised this wasn’t a sign of aging, rather, it was a badge of wisdom.
Of earned perspective and of strategic advantage.
Throughout my career I have done my fare share of driving with company cars aplenty, even hitting some 60,000 miles a year in some of my early sales jobs.
But now, at 60 I’ve earned the right to climb aboard, to let someone else do the driving and instead enjoy the journey even more.
I’m just as happy standing at a quiet bus stop, letting the world slow down for a minute, and remembering that not every journey needs to be rushed.
The pass may be free, but there is one priceless lesson: you don’t have to drive everything.
In my coaching and leadership practice, that’s half the battle, knowing when to take the wheel, and when to sit back and let the journey unfold.
There’s also something just plain old good fun and humbling about taking the bus.
So yes, I’m 60. And if that makes me “old,” then so be it.
I’ve traded life’s hustle and bustle for clarity, swapping out acceleration for direction.
And I’ve got a pass that proves I’ve arrived and can still go anywhere I want!
Now the real question is – where to next?

Mentoring

One recent Sunday morning, I went over to Edinburgh, to meet with a dear friend and mentor, Ben B. Banks.
I first met Ben in 1987 when he and his wife Susan, were called to serve as leaders of the Scotland Edinburgh Mission (as it was then) of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
I was 22, recently returned from my own mission in London and ready for some direction.
A successful businessman and now General Authority Emeritus, he has served in a host of leadership roles all around the world since his time here in Scotland.
I have always looked up to Ben.
For me, his greatest influence came not from titles or offices, but from his presence, which was always, steady, kind and wise.
Since his time in Scotland all those years ago, I have followed his life with interest.
Over the years, I’ve had the privilege of sitting with him in his home, over meals, and in many church meetings.
In each setting, he’s offered not just counsel, but clarity, along with guidance that always felt both practical and inspired.
This morning, I chose once again to study a number of his talks and devotional addresses available online.
Mentoring, at its core, is about helping someone become more of who they’re meant to be.
It’s not about giving answers but helping others find their own.
Ben was masterful at that.
He never just told people what to do.
Like the best mentors and coaches, he invited reflection, sparked insight, and quietly nudged others toward action.
His storytelling in particular always stood out, always simple, honest, and memorable.
Whether recounting long cycle rides, goal-setting moments, or challenges faced, he made truth come alive.
That’s the power of a good story: it makes ideas stick and principles personal.
His life continues to be a masterclass in kindness, service, and devotion.
I left our meeting feeling renewed and grateful.
Mentors like Ben don’t just shape your path, they shape who you become while walking it.
If you’ve never heard Ben speak, I encourage you to seek out his talks online and listen.
They’ll stay with you.
Who has helped shape your path and how might you pass that gift on to someone else?

Still My Favourite Part

It’s been just over a year since Monic and I returned home from our mission in Belgium and the Netherlands and honestly, one of the things I still love most is catching up with the missionaries we served with.
Week after week, I get to sit down for 1-on-1 coaching conversations.
Whether they are just home a few days, or even a few years now.
We talk about life, school decisions, job paths, relationships, faith, challenges, disappointments, wins.
Big things and small things too.
Sometimes it’s figuring out how to stay spiritually grounded outside the mission.
Other times it’s about handling stress, setting goals, or building good habits and routines.
Every conversation is different, and that’s what makes them powerful.
Just real life.
This week alone, I’ve had the opportunity to catch up and connect with several missionaries.
Every conversation is a reminder: the mission may be over, but the connection isn’t.
And I’m so grateful for every moment of it.
What do you think makes a great coaching conversation?