Tag Archive for: change

Nobody is a Nobody

𝐍𝐨𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐒𝐬 𝐚 𝐧𝐨𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲!
Through my life, career and church service, oftentimes I’ve heard phrases like “what does it really matter, I’m nobody,” or “I’m just one of the thousands, I’m nobody really”.
Perhaps in the past you may have felt you were a nobody, or maybe you are feeling right now that you are a nobody?
“We do ourselves a great injustice when we allow ourselves, through tragedy, misfortune, challenge, discouragement, or whatever the earthly situation, to so identify ourselves. No matter how or where we find ourselves, we cannot with any justification label ourselves β€œnobody.”” – said Marvin J. Ashton.
Frequently life, work and family challenges can get us down and cause us to question who we really are. We doubt ourselves, we doubt our self worth and confidence may fail us. I have been in too many coaching conversations where that has been the case.
Please, please be assured – you are a somebody!!!
You are endowed with great gifts, unique capabilities, special talents all waiting to be discovered, developed and finely tuned.
Each of us are needed.
You are unique.
You are where you are supposed to be.
No one, absolutely no one can take your place.
Everybody is somebody to me.
My simple invitation today is to invite you to be somebody, nobody thought you could be.

Adapting to Change

Years ago, I worked for a company whose logo incorporated a dandelion.
Yesterday, whilst visiting Hengelo for the weekend, we met with our new friends Gert & Nicky Aalderink for a lovely dinner. During our conversation we talked about dandelions for a minute or two.
As a child I learned that blowing on dandelion puffballs can tell you if it’s time to go home, how many years it will be until you find the right person and get married, or perhaps even how many children you’ll have – and naturally, if you catch a flying dandelion seed, you can make a wish!
All of this is just plain nonsensical childish fun – of course!
Dandelions however grow and flourish almost anywhere.
Why?
Simply stated – they can adapt exceptionally well to any changing conditions.

Top Tips

Recently, I have been asked a lot about adapting to change. And so, I thought this morning, (having facilitated many learning sessions on the topic over many years,) I’d share my top ten tips on adapting to change. Here they are…..
1 – Focus on what you can control
2 – Accept and embrace change
3 – Recognise, understand and acknowledge your emotions
4 – Avoid catastrophising about the future
5 – Regulate your stress levels by slowing down
6 – Always get support from others
7 – Establish daily healthy routines and good habits
8 – Always be curious about the new experience
9 – Take one baby step at a time
10 – Seek out new opportunities that will certainly arise.
Dandelion seeds blowing in the wind, land in all kinds of different places. To survive, grow and flourish, they have to adapt to their ever changing environment.
In a like manner as each of us face an ever changing environment at home, in the workplace and most certainly in the mission field, we must adapt quickly to survive, grow and flourish!
What is one your best tips on adapting to change?

Change one Thing

Change One Thing….
Have you ever asked yourself what’s the one thing that I can change about myself that will make the biggest difference in my life?
Change happens one (baby) step at a time.
In a number of recent conversations, I have found that we tend to focus on far too many changes at once.
Then it struck me this morning that we must remember, that new habits are formed one step at a time……One By One.
By changing one thing in your daily habits and routines, no matter how great or small, I have found that just one little thing can have many big consequences in your life.
Perhaps its that one annoying habit that consumes lots of your time every day, that is really just a waste of time and effort!
You know what I mean.
So – why not do something today that will make a big difference?
Choose to change.
It may help you to soar higher.
What one thing will you change today?

Change 6 things!

Facilitating a meeting earlier this week with our Mission Leadership Council, I used one of my favourite little change activities. I paired each participant up with a buddy, had them stand back to back and then invited them to change 6 things about their appearance.
I always love running this activity as it is such a great little icebreaker. It went very well and everyone had some fun together.
There were also some great points made by the participants and some very positive in the moment learning takeaways…
Two points I want to make today about this little activity.
Firstly, I always change something about myself. It is always very difficult for them to spot. When they are all busy changing various things about themselves, I simply sneakily remove my wedding ring. Eventually, after several guesses, someone always identifies the change. I then explain how difficult it is to remove my ring. Its been there a long time – 27 years! And it has great sentimental value, which brings back many memories too.
π‹πžπ¬π¬π¨π§ 𝟏- Change is sometimes difficult because we have been doing things the same way, for a long time. Little things, are often BIG things!
Secondly, after the activity, everyone changed their appearance, back to how it was. I didn’t ask them to do it, yet every single one of them did!
Why did they do that?
π‹πžπ¬π¬π¨π§ 𝟐- Simply stated, because that was the way they were before and frequently its much more comfortable there!
Two simple reasons why change is sometimes difficult to achieve!
William Bridges Transition Model, is a great place to start to understand more about change.
What change are you facing today?

Baby Steps

𝑨 π’‹π’π’–π’“π’π’†π’š 𝒐𝒇 𝒂 𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒔𝒂𝒏𝒅 π’Žπ’Šπ’π’†π’” π’ƒπ’†π’ˆπ’Šπ’π’” π’˜π’Šπ’•π’‰ 𝒂 π’”π’Šπ’π’ˆπ’π’† 𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒑 – Chinese Proverb.
Arriving in a different country, understanding a new culture and an unfamiliar language can be overwhelming at times – it certainly isn’t an instant process!
It has been over 26 years since Monic and I have lived in the Netherlands and we are already noticing how so many things have changed.
That said, one big thing that I have already learned is the value and importance of taking 𝒐𝒏𝒆 π’”π’Žπ’‚π’π’ π’ƒπ’‚π’ƒπ’š 𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒑 𝒂𝒕 𝒂 π’•π’Šπ’Žπ’†.

The first few steps

Tentatively, we have taken our first few steps of exploration in and around our local area. It is so beautiful, with lovely scenic walks and the people are so friendly.
Meeting with each of our missionaries one by one, has been an absolute joy.
For the first time yesterday, I was able to travel from one destination to another in the car with only a little help from the GPS. Driving can be especially challenging, especially due to the high volume of traffic and the proliferation of cyclists, everywhere!
Sitting in meetings where the language is completely Dutch no longer feels quite so painful or complete gobbledygook.
Slow, but sure, steady progress.
I have found that many of the happiest and most successful people I have encountered in life have achieved their level of life and work success by taking small baby steps, and then making one positive choice after another.
Positive new habits and routines are created incrementally, one baby step at a time. Indeed, it is through the process of change, that we discover who we really are. Patiently and carefully I am learning to lengthen my stride, one little baby step at a time!
What is a small, first step you can take and implement now in the changes you are facing in life?

A lesson from slippers

“Where are my slippers?”
It was dark, 5.00 am and the fourth night in our new home in the Netherlands. I’d lost them…..again!
That question, was one of many similar thoughts as we have started to settle into life here in the Netherlands.
– “Where is that…?”
– “Have you seen…?”
– “What did I do with…?”
– “Why did I put that there…?”
– “How does that work…?”
– “When have we to be there…?”
– “How do we get there…?”
– “Hoe zeg ik dat in het Nederlands…?”
We have been completely out of our comfort zones and routines. Every day, being stretched a little more. It has been both exciting, wonderful and tiring too! Every evening, our bed has been calling us into a deep slumber very, very easily indeed!
During times of great change…., stress, anxiety and feelings of being overwhelmed can come easily. However, as we discover and introduce new routines and new structures into our lives, it can bring a sense of control, focus, organisation and in time, greater productivity.
Simply stated, having now found a new spot for my slippers, my daily routine ends with placing my slippers under the bedroom chair, so that they are easily retrieved the next morning.
It takes time, practice and effort to find and get used to new routines – but I am pleased to say, I have found my slippers every morning for the last three days… Progress! 😍
What routines and daily habits do you have in your life to help you be more productive?

How have you changed?

Arriving home, fighting my tiredness, my bed was screaming my name… “get in Daryl, you’re exhausted!” It was only 8.35pm!
Last week, I was back on the road for the first time in forever.
After 16 months of being in my own bed every night, it felt a little strange to be in a hotel for a couple of evenings once again.

Things have changed…

After a very long drive on the motorway for hours on end, the relief of the services and ultimate arrival at the hotel were eagerly anticipated. However, COVID-19 and social distancing restrictions made the whole experience a very different one from times gone by.
Everywhere was busy, and everywhere we stopped was clearly understaffed and heavily bounded by limiting restrictions. This in turned placed a heavy burden on those who were working to fill a multitude of different roles. They were doing their best, yet it was clearly difficult.
All that said, it was just good to have change of scenery, meet people again, enjoy new experiences and be with family and friends.
Be that as it may, I was never so glad to climb into my own bed on Saturday evening and fall into a deep slumber once more. It was bliss!
I am certainly out of my old routines for sure. Driving that far and staying in hotels again for a couple of sleepless nights in a strange bed wasn’t as appealing as it used to be. Maybe it’s just old age creeping in!?
Perhaps, after years of travel, I’m changing too.
Are you?

“Its as easy as ABC”

“Oh yes” I thought, “its as easy as ABC.”
At extremely short notice recently, I was asked to design and deliver a virtual workshop primarily on change. After a discussion with the client, I got down to the tricky matter of bespoke design. Never easy at the best of times and now the time pressures were on too!
It meant some last minute personal changes in my own schedule and working all day on a Saturday. Sometimes when in design mode, thoughts come very slowly. However, that day, inspiration flowed freely, I was in the zone! I loved it! Job done!
Then it hit me, I forgot one key aspect, the client also wanted to understand a little more about building resilience for the leadership team. Scratching my head, contemplating a few different models on the topic, a favourite popped into my mind, from cognitive behavioural theory – “its as easy as ABC!” Eureka!
In short, Albert Ellis developed the ABC model to help us understand the connection between adversity or an activating event (A). How we think about this creates beliefs (B). These beliefs then influence what we do next, so they become consequences (C) – our emotional and behavioural responses.
By challenging our π’ƒπ’†π’π’Šπ’†π’‡π’” we can build our resilience and bounce back.
How do you bounce back from adversity?

Deep Change

“What is your favourite book on change?” asked a course participant.

I’ve spent the last week talking and facilitating workshops all about change (again).

It is likely you are aware of a few change models, including the Kubler Ross Change Curve, Kotter’s 8 stage model, Bridges Transition model, Prosci’s ADKAR model (lots of models) et cetera.

But if you want to really change in your personal life or in your organisation, consider this thought from Deep Change – Discovering the Leader Within from Robert E.Quinn –Β “Deep change differs from incremental change in that it requires new ways of thinking and behaving. It is change that is major in scope, discontinuous with the past and generally irreversible. The deep change effort distorts existing patterns of action and involves taking risks. Deep change means surrendering control.”……

This is an introspective journey that will challenge your thinking, you’ll need a reflective journal, in Bob’s words it’ll be like “walking naked into the land of uncertainty”.

You will be introduced to new ideas, new ways of thinking, new ways of behaving and can put an end to the slow death dilemma forever.

Consider this book a masterpiece!

Deep Change reveals the remarkable capacity each of us holds to change ourselves and ultimately our organisations.

Do you think I enjoyed it!?

You will too.

Relevance

As I sat at a breakfast table in London 16 months ago, a question was posed about a pressing matter…”Is it relevant to their challenges of today?”
The discussions that morning were entirely devoid of the current events of that day unfolding in China thousands of miles away.
Relevance – “the degree to which something is related or useful to what is happening or being talked about.”
The issue of relevance is an important matter for all of us to consider.
Relevance comes in lots of different ways. Conveying the right message or experience is critical. It is about giving attention to, being connected with and becoming acutely aware of people and current goings on all around you.
I have found that all around us, things are always changing.Β  In order to maintain your relevance you will have to change some aspects of of what you do, or how you do it.
If you want to be relevant, then you must be open to change.
In the last 12 months, I have learned that anyone who resists change will be swept out of the way faster than someone who is willing to try something new. Resist the longing to cling to the old ways of doing things.
To be relevant, be open, be agile and be flexible and ready to adapt what you want to say.