Shared Purpose, Individual Paths

This week I’ve been delivering to a senior group on the new Lead the Way programme with Aviva in Perth.
As the pace of delivery picks up for me, I’m starting to see the programme in a slightly different way, from the inside out.
More people are coming through the learning centre, more conversations are happening, and each session adds a deeper layer to my understanding of the learning outcomes.
What hit me most this week, is how different every group feels, even when the content is identical.
My co-facilitators and I often use the same stories, the same themes, and similar ways of framing ideas.
Yet the reactions and insights keep shifting. A point that sparks debate in one room lands quietly in another. And a topic that feels simple one day becomes the heart of a long discussion the next.
No two programmes ever seem to unfold in the same way.
Yesterday, I also noticed a few balloons from last week’s launch are still in the learning centre. They share the same space and purpose, but each one has its own colour and shape. A simple reminder that even with a shared programme, every person brings something different to the room.
It is a clear reminder that every person attending is unique.
Each delegate brings their own mix of experience, questions, confidence, and expectations. It also means that our approach as facilitators can never be that one size fits all.
The content doesn’t shift, but everyone brings it to life in their own way.
We have to notice what each participant needs, respond to the moment, and make space for each participant to think for themselves.
For me, leadership and coaching follow similar patterns.
Leadership begins with meeting people where they are.
Coaching grows from listening, adapting, and supporting the next step that fits them.
With every session, the more I see what matters most.
Content helps, but it is not the heart of the experience. The heart is seeing each person one by one, as they really are. That is where learning starts. That is where leadership grows.
How would your leadership change if you slowed down long enough to understand what each person needs?

Reality? Aye, Right!

Last night Scotland reminded the world that we do not qualify for tournaments, we survive them.
Somewhere between divine intervention, blind panic, and the national pastime of making simple things impossibly stressful, Scotland beat Denmark 4–2.
Somehow Scotland booked a place at a World Cup for the first time since 1998, taking a new generation into a different reality!
All they had to do was win.
So naturally, they scored a wonder overhead kick in the third minute, just to lure us into a false sense of comfort. Then they spent the next eighty-odd minutes proving once again that no team can snatch chaos from the jaws of death quite like Scotland.
Denmark equalised. Of course they did. Play offs looming. Blood pressure soaring. We were glued to the TV, unable to move. Denmark went down to ten men, which somehow made them look even better. Then Scotland poked in a second and for a brief moment it was 2-1.
Naturally, Denmark scored again and it was 2–2. Hampden and the whole nation groaned. Play offs back on the horizon. The clock hit injury time.
Then it happened. A wonder strike out of nowhere. 3–2.
Pandemonium. Absolute mayhem.
Seconds left, Denmark surged forward and looked dangerous again because Scotland do not believe in calm endings. The ball broke, and from the halfway line came a goal so absurd it felt like a glitch in reality. 4–2. Full time. The Nation collapsed in a joyful heap.
The commentator summed it up. “Nine forty-eight pm on Tuesday the eighteenth of November. We will never forget it.” Mainly because our nerves will never recover!
Scotland qualified the only way Scotland know how. The hard way. The torturous way! 😆
And we would not have it any other way, would we?!
Is there is a lesson in all this?
Coaching Scotland must be the purest test of leadership on the planet. It is not about strategy or a philosophy. It is managing a squad of talented players who insist on performing every match like a Hollywood thriller where nobody knows the script until the last thirty seconds.
Leading this team means keeping belief alive when the rest of us are hiding behind the couch. It is about steadying the nerves of a nation that has none left.
It is about turning mayhem into magic.
So, after a night that broke the laws of logic and possibly physics too, only one question remains.
If Scotland can rewrite reality, what excuse do the rest of us have?

The Slowless Society

Earlier this week, a nasty bug forced me to slow down and spend a couple of days in bed.
On the upside, it allowed me some time to think.
And I realised something once more…
In our modern world, everything around us is designed for speed, at full throttle: fast answers, fast success, fast solutions, fast change, fast communications and fast paced results!
All in an instant!
Our phones, computers and tablets buzz constantly with the latest message and update – my own devices were merrily beeping around me.
Faster and faster and faster.
More scrolling, less living.
We live in what I’m now calling a 𝑺𝒍𝒐𝒘𝒍𝒆𝒔𝒔 𝑺𝒐𝒄𝒊𝒆𝒕𝒚.
I turned to one of my favourite scriptures for grounding – Psalm 46:10 – “Be still, and know that I am God”.
Yet in our world there is a strong allergy towards stillness.
More noise, less His voice.
Hurry grows; clarity goes, whilst complexity swirls around us.
We’ve moved from that older “microwave mentality or mindset” to something I fear is far more pervasive.
Simply stated, it is the belief that everything meaningful in life should arrive instantly, without delay, without effort, and certainly without patience.
But my experience is that the soul doesn’t work at microwave speed.
Neither does growth.
Nor discipleship, leadership, healing, or even wisdom.
All of these require time.
And time is one of the greatest gifts we are given, but one that we so rarely honour.
Our Slowless Society pushes us to hurry, to rush, to skip the process, and to become frustrated when life doesn’t heat up in 60 seconds.
It was good to be forced to slow down and be still.
My realisation was this…
Speed steals what stillness reveals.
It’s not about speed, it’s about intention.
What might stillness reveal if I made space for it today?

Bouncing Back

This week reminded me that life has a funny way of keeping us grounded… sometimes literally.
On Monday, I was present at the official launch of the brand-new Learning Centre at Aviva in Perth, and I was fortunate to co-facilitate one of the very first sessions in the new facility.
The excitement in the building was fantastic, after months of work finally came to life. New rooms, new tech, new possibilities.
Meanwhile back at home, things were a little different. My poor wife Monic took suddenly unwell that very morning. We thought it might have been something from the weekend in the Netherlands… and by the time I got home that evening with all the family together to celebrate Cristi’s birthday, I was down with it too… 🤨
A rough 24 hours, to say the least!
What we first thought was potentially food poisoning soon felt much more like a norovirus, the sort that leaves you just completely wiped out.

A little wobble…

Thankfully, a few days later I’m back on my feet, but my brilliant co-facilitator had to deliver a two-day programme on her own. Thank you, Jodi, and thanks too to the team members who stepped in to cover the latter half of the week. I’m very grateful.
It reminded me that leadership isn’t always about being the one at the front of the room.
Resilience isn’t always about pushing through. Sometimes it’s about resting when you need to, trusting others when you must, and bouncing back when you’re able.
Life brings these little wobble moments of unexpected highs, plus unexpected lows, yet each one teaches us something if we let it.
I’m simply grateful to be feeling a little better today… and grateful for the people around me who carry things forward when I can’t.
Here’s to new beginnings, good colleagues, recovering strength, and the quiet courage it takes to keep going.
I also sincerely hope I never passed the bug onto any others!
Where in your life do you need to slow down, trust someone else, or simply take a breath in order to come back stronger?

When Love Leads

With the recent passing of President Russell M. Nelson, we have seen some changes in the senior leadership of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
It caused me to reflect upon some moments that I have had with them.
I love and sustain President Dallin H. Oaks, and those who have been called as prophets, seers, and revelators in these latter days.
A few years ago, Monic and I had some personal experiences with President Oaks that have remained deeply etched in our hearts. Moments that we cherish and will remember forever.

Genuine Love

What touched us most was his kindness and quiet strength, as well as a spirit of humility and meekness that seemed to surround him. There was a warmth in his presence, a gentleness in his manner, and a genuine love that could be deeply felt.
He led with conviction, yet always with a Christlike compassion that touched every heart around him.
I testify that he, and all who are called to serve as prophets of God, are endowed with divine gifts and guidance. As we listen to their counsel and align our lives with the teachings of Jesus Christ, we will find peace, direction, and an increased capacity to love and serve others.
The key is to follow the Living Prophet.

Hearken

The Lord blesses us when we hearken to the voice of His chosen servants. Their messages invite us to come unto Christ and truly live.
I know that Heavenly Father reveals knowledge and truths to His children on earth through His servants the prophets. In Amos 3:7 we read “Surely the Lord God will do nothing, but he revealeth his secret unto his servants the prophets.”
Are you troubled by the turmoil in the world today?
If your heart feels heavy, if life seems uncertain, or if you’re simply searching for greater light, joy, and purpose, please don’t give up the search.
Turn to the words of living prophets. Explore these revealed truths for yourself. Listen with faith and let their inspired counsel lift and guide you.
I love and support President Dallin H. Oaks as he stands as a living witness and mouthpiece of the Lord Jesus Christ, a humble servant through whom God’s love and direction reaches all of humankind.
My invitation is to come and listen to a prophet’s voice and discover the peace that only Christ can bring.
Speak with our missionaries today.
In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Moments That Move Us

I’ve been so focused on facilitation and delivery lately that I almost forgot how easy it is to lose track of what really moves people.

However, a recent experience reminded me of a moment in a workshop from a few years ago.

It taught me a simple truth… Thoughts shape emotions. Emotions drive action.

I recall the energy in the room was buzzing. Everyone was engaged, leaning in. Then, something shifted.

One participant, quiet until then, spoke up: “I can relate to that.”

And just like that, the tears came.

The tone changed instantly. We’d already built a space of psychological safety that day, but this moment, this raw, real moment – cut through even deeper.

The room stilled. Everyone listened.

As this person opened up, they stepped into a deeply vulnerable space. And by doing so, they pulled us in with them. In that fleeting moment, you could feel the silence, it wasn’t awkward, it felt sacred.

No one said a word.

Then it happened.

The people sitting closest reached out, not with words, but with a simple, human touch. A hand on the shoulder. A nod. A connection.

In that instant, the group wasn’t just a room of individuals.

We were one.

United.

Present.

Together.

That one moment changed the whole workshop. And I’ve carried it with me ever since.

These turning points, the ones that really teach us something meaningful, don’t come with warning signs. They show up unannounced. But when they do, welcome them. Lean in. Let them shape you.

Because those are the moments that matter.

Is there someone you can reach out to today?

Bruised, But Not Broken

It all started so promisingly.
Arriving early at Murrayfield yesterday, for the friendly rugby international, Scotland v USA on a lovely evening in Edinburgh.
Amilya, Hazel and I were excited.
The build up was loud with a DJ in action pumping up the volume.
A lot of pride was in the air with our respective national anthems – the Star-Spangled Banner and Flower of Scotland.
We were all set for the action to unfold!
I did warn my two American friends that it could be rather one sided!
It was only a few minutes before Scotland scored, then again and again and again.
By half time it was 45 – 0.
By full time it was 85 – 0, sweeping aside the USA for their biggest ever Murrayfield win.
I don’t think anybody attending the match thought Scotland were ever in any danger of losing, but the scale of Scotland’s win was impressive.
And depending on your perspective, it may feel brutal, even a little unfair.
What struck me though about the Americans was they didn’t quit!
They kept tackling, kept resetting, kept showing up.
Outmatched, yes – but not undone.
Such a humbling defeat isn’t easy for anyone to accept.
Despite the loss, it was fun watching Amilya and Hazel, they had a great time in a stadium that rocked from start to finish.

Compelled to be Humble

Sometimes we are compelled to be humble – and yesterday was one of those days for the American rugby team.
It reminded me of this verse from the Book of Mormon:
“And now, because ye are compelled to be humble, blessed are ye.” – Alma 32:13
That kind of humility, the kind we don’t choose, but are forced into, can feel a little rough.
Embarrassing, possibly even unfair.
But in a gospel sense in God’s eyes, it’s still an opening, it’s still a beginning.
Because what matters isn’t how we were humbled, rather what matters is what we choose to do next.
So, the question I’m asking myself this Sunday morning is:
When life humbles me, do I let it shape me? Or just shame me?

Small Moments, Big Shifts

Its been nearly two months since I stepped into my new leadership facilitation role with Aviva.
I’ve been busy learning lots about new programmes and perhaps most meaningfully, seeing the power of thinking partnerships.
One of my favourite moments in many of our recent Lead the Way workshops comes during a simple but powerful “buddy coaching” conversation.
There are four different variations of the programme, depending upon seniority level.
During each programme, individuals are frequently randomly paired together.
It’s there, that the coaching conversations begin.
One person reflecting, the other listening deeply and asking thoughtful questions.
We encourage them to be curious.
Two people, fully present, exploring what it means to grow.
On the surface, it seems like a short exercise.
However, I’ve noticed that it only takes a few intentional minutes with a learning buddy like this, to unlock something deeper, a fresh idea or perhaps a new direction for them to consider.

Sitting and Walking

Buddy coaching isn’t simply about sitting opposite each other at a table, some of the best conversations and discoveries are made whilst out for a walk together.
Changing the environment can really help each of us change how we look at things.
“Walking is man’s best medicine.” – Hippocrates
In their conversations, leaders ask each other:
• How would you describe yourself as a leader right now?
• What assumptions do you carry about leadership?
• What would ‘better’ look like for you?
Every time we run this exercise, there is a noticeable, yet subtle shift in the energy in the room, from quiet reflection to rich dialogue.
These short listening and questioning exercises help people slow down and connect.
Interestingly, another upside is they think more intentionally about how they lead and respond to change.
Sometimes the most profound learning moments don’t come from slides or theories, but from being truly heard by another person.
A simple reminder that great leadership often starts with great listening.
When was the last time you truly listened, not to respond, but to understand?

What’s in a Name?

As participants arrived in the room, one by one, they’re given their name tags.
At the same time, they tick their names off the participant list and registration is complete.
A few minutes later during our check in, everyone introduces themselves to the group.
But there’s one challenge that never seems to get any easier for me, even after years of practice… names!
Currently, every few days, I find myself faced with a fresh set of twenty to thirty or so new names to learn.
It’s no small task.
I’m not exactly sure why, but some are easy to remember, others take a few tries, and occasionally I’ll mix up two people completely, especially when there’s a Mark, a Matt, and a Martin in the same room!
Yesterday, the tables turned.
A couple of participants started calling me by the wrong name and not just once!
I could tell they felt a bit embarrassed when they realised, so, in the spirit of fun, I decided to join in.
When one of them said, “Thanks, Darren,” I smiled and replied, “No problem, Martin.” (His name was definitely not Martin.)
Cue a big smile and some laughter.
It broke the tension instantly.
The moment became fun and light-hearted.
Later, as we reflected on the day, I realised something simple yet powerful: learning names is an act of leadership.
It’s about presence.
It’s about seeing people.
When we take the time to remember someone’s name, we’re telling them, “You matter. You’re worth remembering.”
Getting it wrong occasionally?
That’s just part of the journey.
What matters is how we recover, with grace, humour, and a wee bit of warmth.
So, to all the participants out there.
Could you help us facilitator’s out?
If you spot us in an office somewhere, to ease the triggering of the mental panic, please say hello and quickly remind us of your name – just in case!
Leadership, at its best, is all about connection, and sometimes, connection begins with something as small as a name.
What other “small” leadership habits have a big impact on connection and belonging?
p.s. – maybe some bigger name tags may help too! 😅

The Light is Building

These last few months have been filled with long hours, careful planning, and the combined effort of dozens of volunteers from around the country, all preparing for the 2025 Christmas Light the World Charity Machines campaign here in the UK.
It’s been an extraordinary team effort.
From spreadsheets and storage visits to unpacking machines and testing our brand-new digital displays, plus meetings galore, the work behind the scenes has been simply remarkable.
A recent visit to our London storage site, packed with machines, Christmas lights, scarves, and signage, made it all start to feel real.
The digital machines have arrived, unwrapped, and are now coming to life.

Launch Events

The excitement is building too for launch events this Christmas, at Parliament in Westminster, and our host venues at 𝐒𝐩𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐟𝐢𝐞𝐥𝐝𝐬 𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐞𝐭 (6th – 20th December) in London and 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐁𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 in Birmingham (1st – 21st December). ✨
Each machine is simple in purpose but profound in impact.
Instead of buying something for yourself, you can choose to purchase a goat, a meal, a winter blanket, or even school supplies for someone in need – near or far.
With 100% of every donation going directly to our charity partners who deliver these items and services to those they serve.
But to make it all work, we need your help. ❤️
We’re now seeking volunteers to help staff the machines throughout their placement in December, in Birmingham and London.
Each shift involves welcoming visitors, helping them understand how the machines work, and sharing in the joy of giving.
You’ll also help at the many events being planned around the machines, including choirs, community gatherings, and festive performances that will light up the season.
If you’d like to volunteer, please get in touch – we’d love to have you on the team.
“Therefore, let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.” – Matthew 5:16
Together, we’re lighting the world, one act of love, one small gift, and one bright smile at a time.
Who could you invite to share in the joy of giving?