As a Man Thinketh

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭?
“For as [a man] thinketh in his heart, so is he” – Proverbs 23:7
The vast majority of Proverbs were written by King Solomon.
You will recall that he was regarded as one of the wisest men who ever lived.
Each concise proverb is designed to give us a deeper perspective on life, living, and in turn, hopefully better decision making!

My question then is…

“Is this statement actually really true?”
Consciously or subconsciously our minds are always in motion.
“Your thoughts are the architects of your destiny” said David O. McKay.
The ability to learn, to think, to choose, and to reason, all define us as human beings.
I believe that our innate ability to think, goes much, much deeper.
Essentially, our thoughts become a reflection of who we really are.
Daily, we can choose to fill our minds with whatever we want.
And there is so much choice!
Good, Bad, Beautiful, Ugly, Happy, Sad, Clean, Unclean, Cheerful, Dreary, Hope, Despair…..
Whatever we choose to let into our minds will in turn, generally become the pattern of what will then transpire in our lives.
Who we are, and where we are, in life is principally the result of our own actions and choices, all of which begin in our minds as thoughts and desires.
If you think it long enough, you are very likely to do it.
Daily we choose.
Daily we act.
It is in our minds that our futures are made.
We are responsible for the thoughts we think and the purposes we pursue.
You are the master of them.
Controlling our thoughts helps us to conquer ourselves.
“What we see triggers what we think, what we think influences what we desire, what we desire affects our actions, our combined actions determine our character, and our character determines our eternal destiny.” – Dallin H. Oaks
Is your mind a happy place to be?

Building Rapport

Recently I was asked – “How do you build rapport?”
Rapport – “a relationship characterized by agreement, mutual understanding, or empathy that makes communication possible or easy – a friendly, harmonious relationship.”
I see rapport as being the sense of connection that I may have with someone.
When you have good rapport it’s like being in sync with someone, and are mutually interested in each other. Often you’ll discover that you have similar feelings and emotions too.
It is also about effective communication and building a healthy camaraderie.
Building rapport is all about establishing that connection and the process of creating deeper relationships.

Top Tips

Firstly, start with yourself!
You really need to know and understand your truest self. Who are you, what are your core values, what are your interests and hobbies, how do you go about getting things done? Importantly – do not pretend to be someone you’re not!
Secondly, empathy is key.
What is empathy? It’s understanding how others feel and being compassionate toward them. The key part to empathy is being genuinely curious. Don’t just stand in another person’s shoes, go, and actually take a walk in them!
Thirdly, ask questions.
Some variation of “tell me about yourself” is often a great way to start a conversation. Asking questions can remove uncomfortable small talk and help you get into more meaningful conversations.
Fourthly, listen!
Active listening means giving your full attention to someone who is speaking. If someone feels like you are hearing them, they will likely listen to you in return, which can establish a good relationship and build great rapport.
Fifthly, take time to understand.
When you take the time to really understand someone, you’ll begin to be able to see the world from the other person’s perspective. It helps to find some common ground and create some shared experiences together.
I know that building great rapport will improve your relationships and will make you a better communicator.
What can you do to build rapport?

Why not religion?

Why not Religion?
As Rabbi Jonathan Sacks taught: “[Religion] remains the most powerful community builder the world has known. … Religion is the best antidote to the individualism of the consumer age. The idea that society can do without it flies in the face of history.”
Nearly 2 years ago, we received an unexpected call from church headquarters in Salt Lake City.
Subsequently, we were asked to preside over one of the 411 missions of the church.
In time we were assigned to the Belgium Netherlands Mission, serving here June 2021 – July 2024.
Our life’s have changed.
It is a voluntary assignment.
So – why did we accept the call?
It was a moment that really mattered – it was a day of determination.
Simply stated, Jesus Christ is the reason.
It’s also because of a strong conviction of the truth of this work and I choose to let my faith show.
That said, the subject of religion can be touchy, especially where we live now!
Religious views are a deeply personal and even sacred thing.

Religion should be three things:

Firstly, it should provide answers to basic questions that the sincerest human beings ultimately come around to, namely what is our purpose in life…?
• Where did we come from?
• Why are we here?
• Where are we going after this life is over.
True religion should offer answers to our minds that our hearts can respond to.
Secondly, it should provide a way for us to live and find happiness not only here on earth but also in the life to come.
Thirdly, it must provide a way to provide a confirming witness that the religion is true, which in turn motivates and encourages you to live that way.
Like millions of others, I’ve found that through the Book of Mormon.
As Neal A. Maxwell once said, “Do not dare to read the Book of Mormon seriously, or you may suddenly realize that it is inlaid with incredibly important insights from a millennium of sacred history.”
Answering those three things and choosing to live my religion, motivates me every day.
If you are serious – it will answer all your questions too.
How can faith & religion help you in your life?

Turn it Off!

“𝐋𝐞𝐭’𝐬 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐨𝐟𝐟 𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐨𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐨𝐭.”
In our leadership session on Saturday, that was one of many discussions we shared together.
Thinking about that comment this morning, I asked myself several times over, what does that actually mean for me?
On reflection, it’s actually when your body is here, but your mind is elsewhere.
Do you know that feeling?
In my pre-mission coaching world language, it’s about paying attention and being aware.
As a coach I’d refer to this as having presence or being present.
However, from time to time, people simply zone out.
Have you seen this?
You probably do it yourself from time to time!
There in body, but your mind is elsewhere.
Frequently we simply turn our thinking to automatic mode, and we don’t pay attention, in other words we hit our autopilot.
For example, routinely, many of us drive in this mode – we get home and remember little or any part of the journey.
The key to change is every time you notice you are on autopilot, you turn your attention to what you are doing.

Here are some tips…

– Getting a glass of water, pause and feel your feet, hear the noise of the water as it flows into your glass.
– Walking to your next appointment, stop thinking about your things to do and notice that you are walking. What do you see, hear, smell, and feel? Touch something along the way.
– In your next meeting, after 20 minutes ask yourself if you are bored. If you are, then make a decision to turn your attention back on. What do you hear and see now?
– Stop Multi-tasking! (Exclamation mark). When someone asks to speak to you, then stop what you are doing, put your mobile down, stop typing and listen.
– Go and learn mindfulness.
What can you do to get off autopilot and be more present?

Stay in the Boat

“Let’s get in the boat” I said.

However, it wasn’t quite the trip the Mission Leadership Council (MLC) members were quite expecting!

It reminded me of a talk given by Elder M. Russell Ballard some years ago entitled “Stay in the Boat and Hold On!” I highly recommend it.

In his talk Elder Ballard said, “In searching the scriptures and the words of past and current apostles and prophets, we should focus on studying, living, and loving the doctrine of Christ.”

Staying true to Jesus Christ is like staying safe in a boat.

Yesterday we did embark upon a few adventures of our own and held on!

We welcomed five new members to the MLC.

The mission home was filled to capacity.  We loved having everyone here.

Counselling Together

In our council session, we spent time understanding the doctrine of Christ, discussed the Lord’s timing and completed a team building activity on balance, to strengthen our collaboration together.

In addition, we also learned about earnest fasting, searching the scriptures, supplication in prayer and looking smart in our missionary endeavours.

Oh, and lunch was delicious too.  Echt lekker 😊

Working with the missionaries is not only a spiritually edifying experience, but also a lot of fun too – the pictures below testify of that!

We laughed, we cried, we talked, we listened, we played, we counselled, we prayed, we sang, and we learned lots together.

Our discussions were like the essential supplies, safety guidelines and instructions required to make our way down the river of life to our final destination.

There is nothing quite like these gatherings, frankly, they are an inspiration.

You can depend upon the missionaries.

If any one of you have fallen out of the boat, or want to get into the boat, we will do our best to find you, minister to you, and pull you safely in.

Why not join us and jump on board “Old Ship Zion” – you’ll love the journey!

#HearHim #ldsmissionary #ldsmission #LetGodPrevail

Medium…

𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐣𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐨𝐝𝐚𝐲?
Monic and I love to take walks through Leidschendam.
The length of our walk is generally determined by the amount of time we have allocated to exercise in our daily routines.
We have identified three routes.
Short – 20 minutes
Medium – 40 minutes
Long – 1 hour
Our morning conversation usually goes something like this.
“Is it short, medium or long today?”
Yesterday, we decided the “medium” walk was in order.
We then put in the necessary effort to make the journey.
As usual, we enjoyed our walk together.
Talking, observing, laughing, sharing and planning.
Regularly we are surprised how very few people we see out walking.
Oftentimes, we will complete our walks without meeting a soul.
Yesterday we especially enjoyed seeing and hearing the green parakeets. There were about 10 of them and they like to make a lot of noise.
In addition, we loved seeing many little ducklings.
Slowing down allows us to see, feel and hear different things.
It is during our walks that I notice many simple moments are filled with a sense of connection and peace.
Why is that we miss so many moments in our own life?
Is it that there are always more busy thoughts that preoccupy our minds?
It’s time to slow down.
Where will your journey lead today?

Words Matter

Do you listen to your heart?

Words matter.

All week long one word has played continually into my thoughts.

I’ve felt as if it has been etched not only upon, but also into my heart and mind.

No matter where I went, or what I did, it would always return.

It’s an unusual word.

Indefatigability…! (Dutch – onvermoeibaarheid)

I wasn’t even too certain what it meant, so I looked up the dictionary definition.

“Tireless determination, incapable of being tired out; not yielding to fatigue; untiring.”

I reflected upon the definition for a while.

I questioned myself and asked “What does this word mean for me?”

After a while, I began to understand.

Day in, day out, week in, week out, I am surrounded by young missionaries who possess the most remarkable indefatigable spirit.

I am with them, constantly.

Being with them one by one, in group training sessions and large conferences, I am reminded of the desire of their hearts to share their witness and testimony of Jesus Christ.

They all take several knocks – daily.

GRIT

Yet, each of them possesses grit!

True grit!  And I’m not talking about John Wayne!

A toughness, an indefatigable resilient courage, to bounce back, again and again and again.

As defined by Angela Duckworth, grit is “Our passion and perseverance to reach long term goals.”

I am so grateful for my association with each and every one of them.

They have been called from many different countries and cultures all across the world to bring a message of hope and peace to a world that is in constant peril and commotion. (2 Timothy 3:3/D&C 45:26)

Through my personal interactions with each of them, I am a witness to the fact, that they possess an indefatigable zeal and testimony of the message they share.

It is a message of great hope, peace and centred in their love of Jesus Christ.

I know that when the focus of our lives is on Jesus Christ and His gospel, we can feel joy, regardless of what is happening—or not happening—in the world or in our lives.

As President Russell M. Nelson has said “the joy we feel has little to do with the circumstances of our lives and everything to do with the focus of our lives.”

If you want to find real joy, peace, purpose and meaning in life, then I suggest you listen to your heart.

Reach out to one of these indefatigable young men or young women today. They will help refocus your life.

#HearHim

Transfers

“𝐀𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫?”
It’s a question I’ve asked myself a lot recently.
Transfers in the mission field come around every six weeks.
And they come ever so quickly!
They are always on my mind.
In our missionary service, this is already our 10th cycle, of 27.
Questions to consider include…
What area should they serve in?
Who should be their companion?
What do they need?
Will they bring out the best in each other?
You simply don’t know all the factors that determine who should serve with whom.
Preparing for and planning for transfers in the mission field is time consuming.
There are a lot of moving parts and factors to consider, but ultimately it is a spiritual process.
Prayer is a constant.
It is always the best solution.
Seeking the guidance of the Holy Ghost is critical.
Remembering that it is the Lord’s transfer of missionaries is vital.
I am comforted by a verse of scripture in Matthew 6:8 “ for your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask him.”
Considering the needs of each missionary and thinking about each of them, one by one, is also key.
Information precedes revelation.
Regular interviews and weekly communication really help.
Hence the question “𝐀𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫?”
Life moves so swiftly.
In the lasting things of life, do we help each other to be at our best?

Slow Down.

Did you miss anything?
Every day, I try to learn a new Dutch verb and place it in a sentence using the different tenses.
Today’s verb was “haasten” – to hurry.
For a short moment, as I practiced the tenses out loud, I laughed a little.
One of my key messages over the last few months, including yesterday, is the complete opposite – to 𝐒𝐋𝐎𝐖 𝐃𝐎𝐖𝐍!
We often move too fast.
One route into our home here in the Netherlands, brings us along a road with several speed bumps.
For the optimum experience, I have learned that is it best to reduce my speed, slow down and steady my course.
It is a simple, but critical lesson to learn.
We all know the uncomfortable consequences of a high-speed journey over a speed bump!
I have concluded that speeding up isn’t the answer.
And so, it is with life.
Choosing to slow down, over obstacles and challenges in life is the answer.
In addition, for a much deeper examination of a course of study or to give consideration to a particular challenge, spend a little more time exploring by slowing down.
It will in the long run allow you to speed up elsewhere.
It takes effort.
Sometimes great effort, to catch ourselves and slow down.
My experience… slowing down helps to prevent you from missing anything!
How will you slow down today?

Just this once

“Can’t we do it just this once President?”

Sound familiar?

Small choices, big consequences!

The question reminded me of this piece from a long time ago by Richard L. Evans.

“There is in our language a dangerously disarming phrase by which people often persuade other people to compromise principles.

It is the phrase “𝐉𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞.”

“Just this once” has a siren-like lure.

It is the forerunner of the phrase “Just once more.”

It is the beckoning voice of a false friend that leads us from safety to a false position, first “Just this once,” and then “Just once more.”

“Just once more won’t matter.”

“Just once more, and then I’ll quit.”

And so, we sometimes move from one false step to another, often deluding ourselves into thinking that this is the last time.

In some social and personal matters, many of us live somewhat this way.

Tomorrow

We may know, for example, that we are living our lives at a pace we cannot keep up, but we hate to refuse a friend. Thus, we are led from obligation to obligation, and each time we say “yes,” we tell ourselves that we are saying it “Just this once” and that tomorrow will be better.

But tomorrow is seldom better except as we have the backbone to make it better.

In matters of eating and appetite, people often go from one indulgence to another, always saying to themselves, “Just this once, Tomorrow I begin to diet.” “Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow.”

“Just this once” becomes especially serious when people persuade other people that a principle is a matter of frequency rather than a clear-cut matter of right or wrong.

It is true that a onetime offender is looked upon with more leniency than a frequent offender. But stealing “Just this once,” lying “Just this once,” deceiving “Just this once,” or any other act of immorality urged upon anyone “Just this once” is a dangerous doctrine.

“Just this once” is a long step, but “Just once more” is an easier step, and so men often forget their own fetters from link to link.

If it isn’t right, let it alone. Don’t do “Just this once” what shouldn’t be done at all.”

Listen out for the phrase in your own life – you may be surprised how often it occurs.

Consider your actions carefully, and the consequences that may occur.

How will you respond next time?