United we stand, divided we fall

β€œπ”π§π’π­πžπ 𝐰𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝, 𝐝𝐒𝐯𝐒𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐰𝐞 𝐟𝐚π₯π₯”
It is a familiar phrase, used to express unity and collaboration.
Meaning – if we don’t stand together, ultimately, we will not succeed.
It is a phrase that has been used throughout history to inspire and lift couples, groups, teams, political parties, countries and many more.
Biblically, in Matthew 12:25 and also in Luke 11:17, the scriptures convey the common message that a house divided against itself will not stand.
In modern culture, J.K. Rowling uses a variation of the phrase in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, when Albus Dumbledore says, β€œWe are only as strong as we are united, as weak as we are divided.”
The Bundle of Sticks
I love the moral of this story.
β€œAN OLD man on the point of death summoned his sons around him to give them some parting advice. He ordered his servants to bring in a bundle of sticks and said to his eldest son: β€œBreak it.” The son strained and strained, but with all his efforts was unable to break the bundle. The other sons also tried, but none of them was successful. β€œUntie the bundle,” said the father, β€œand each of you take a stick.” When they had done so, he called out to them: β€œNow, break it,” and each stick was easily broken. β€œYou see my meaning,” said their father.”
π‘Όπ’π’Šπ’•π’†π’… π’˜π’† 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒅, π’…π’Šπ’—π’Šπ’…π’†π’… π’˜π’† 𝒇𝒂𝒍𝒍.
Recently D. Todd Christofferson said regarding unity, that β€œβ€¦we cannot be one unless we all bend our efforts to the common cause.”
The common cause could be in the home, in our marriages, in our missionary companionships, in our workplaces, or in our teams.
He went on to say that β€œβ€¦ unity does not require sameness, but it does require harmony.”
David O. McKay taught β€œUnity, harmony, goodwill are virtues to be fostered and cherished in every home.”
I accept that unity of ideals and purpose is often hard to achieve.
So how do we build that unity, that harmony with one another?
My favourite piece of counsel and direction comes from Gordon B. Hinckley, he said β€œsomehow forgiveness, with love and tolerance, accomplishes miracles that can happen in no other way.”
For all of us in life, there comes a time to confront ourselves with ourselves – it is a compulsory part of learning and growing.
A time when each of us may have to concede the error of our ways and pride gives ways to humility.
We move forward by standing together, talking together, listening together, working together, serving together, sharing together and by doing good together.
Amid all the hardships of human life, if we can understand a little more of the principle of unity and establish it in our hearts… then our homes, our marriages, our communities and our workplaces, will be much more harmonious.
If you were to explain unity to someone, what would you say?

Anxious About Something?

Everyone will experience anxiety feelings from time to time – its a normal human emotion!
However – “too much anxious opening of the oven door and the cake falls instead of rising. So it is with us. If we are always selfishly taking our own temperatures to see if we are happy, we will not be.” – Neal A Maxwell.
So – what can I do to change?
In recent coaching discussions and from experience – its wise to slow down a little and pay close attention to what you’re thinking!
Doubtful, fearful, negative, unrealistic, or self-critical thoughts can trigger anxiety.
Stop what you’re doing for a while, sit still, close your eyes, and breathe deeply.
Make a firm commitment to focus on healthy, positive, determined and realistic thinking.
What can you do to leave the oven door closed today?

Priesthood Keys

Yesterday, I travelled to Frankfurt in Germany, to meet with Elder David A. Bednar of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, along with Elder Carl B. Cook of the Presidency of the Seventy and our own Area Presidency.
Priesthood Leaders from all-over Europe gathered together for instruction and an opportunity to counsel with one another.
The meeting lasted for 4 hours.
There were no prepared talks.
It was a simple gathering.
The counsel, discussion and instruction flowed by the power of the holy ghost.
A few key themes emerged.
One of which was 𝐏𝐫𝐒𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐑𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐊𝐞𝐲𝐬.

Priesthood Keys

Elder Bednar taught some important principles.
Take a look at the picture above at the “House of the Lord” in Friedrichsdorf. You’ll recognise a few familiar faces.
How many people in the picture below hold priesthood keys?

Who holds keys?

Priesthood keys are held by Temple presidents, mission presidents, stake presidents, district presidents, bishops, branch presidents, and quorum presidents hold priesthood keys of presidency.
Our Area Seventy Elder Joep Boom does not hold priesthood keys. He acts by β€œdelegated authority.”
Just as a counsellor can act by the authority of the keys of the Stake President, so a Seventy can act by the Authority of the keys of the Apostles when they are sent under their direction.
The temple president does not hold the keys for temple work. He holds the keys for the work in the temple. The stake president holds the keys for temple work in his stake.

Missionary Work

Elder Bednar taught there is a difference between the keys for missionary work and keys for the work of missionaries.
The stake president has the keys to direct missionary work in his stake. The primary work of members in missionary work as directed by the keys of the Stake President is to find and prepare people to be taught by the missionaries.
The mission president has the keys for the work of the missionaries in teaching and preparing investigators to be baptized.
As Mission President, my key question to ward and stake leaders has always been, β€œwhat can we as missionaries do to help you fulfil your missionary responsibilities?”
I learned that when priesthood keys are aligned properly, when members and full-time missionaries work together in unity and harmony, then the work is blessed by heaven in a powerful way.
Daily, it is my experience as Mission President, that priesthood keys allow you to think, to see, to say and to feel things that you just normally would not think, see, say or feel. And yes, it is a sacred honour every day, to serve.
In what ways are you blessed by priesthood keys?

Small and Simple Things

Time is precious for all of us, isn’t it?
Even more so when serving a mission.
Every minute of every day often has to be accounted for.
In my morning prayers I always ask that I may see the hand of the Lord manifest in some way.
Last Saturday, coming back from our weekly shopping, I mentioned to Monic that I really needed to get the car washed that day.
It had been several weeks since I’d last washed it, but sadly the local car wash had just been closed and there wasn’t another nearby, in fact its several miles away.
We had several other more important things to do on Saturday in preparation for a very busy weekend, and an even busier week ahead.
I never mentioned it again.
Within an hour, the doorbell rang.
Two teenage girls stood at the door.
They held up a home-made cardboard price list and said they were hoping to earn some holiday money by washing cars in the neighbourhood.
I readily agreed.
They set to work, and within 30 minutes the car was spotlessly clean.
We have lived in this house for 1 year, 10 months and 22 days or to be more precise 691 days.
Never before to our knowledge, had anyone come to the door, offering to wash the car.
But within minutes of our need, an answer came.
Yes, it’s a small and simple thing.
Coincidence – perhaps?
Tender mercy – perhaps?
You choose.
Small and simple things often happen in our life, but do we put them down to coincidence or are they a tender mercy from the Lord?
How have you seen the hand of the Lord in your life recently?

The Mission Presidency

β€œWhat’s the function of the Mission Presidency?” – I was asked.
Arriving during covid times in June 2021, it was November before counsellors were appointed.
Over those few months, after discussions with several candidates and after taking it to the Lord in prayer, it was abundantly clear that I should have Chris Kleijweg and Jurgen Hoole serve as my Counsellors.
Both Chris and Jurgen have a wealth of knowledge and experience of the church throughout Belgium and the Netherlands.
Two counsellors are always called to assist a mission president with his responsibilities.
We meet regularly, usually weekly, either using technology or in person, to counsel about missionary work, and talk together almost daily.

Counselling

The wise writer of Proverbs tells us that β€œin … counsellors there is safety.” (Prov. 11:14.)
Counselling together with one another is constant.
When problems arise, when difficult decisions face us, it is wonderful to be able to talk together in confidence and trust.
When the three of us unite in prayer to discuss a concern, we seek the impressions and direction of the Spirit. We counsel together in order to reach a united conclusion, to help us know that the decision is in harmony with the Lord’s will.
We each have specific responsibilities including teaching, finding, social media, office administration, working with local leaders, service missionaries, finance, leadership, youth, young adults, new members, senior couples etc.
Each of us have a sense of responsibility for the whole mission.
We are united.

Service

Over the last 18 months we have developed strong bond of friendship. We are very different, with different family situations and life experience, yet we love being together, especially at Zone Conferences!
We laugh, we cry, we help, we support, we travel, we share, we teach, we interview, we listen, we problem solve, we attend meetings, and we are always on call 24/7, prepared to drop everything at a moment’s notice and go and assist missionaries wherever they are.
Interestingly, in the church, we have a lay ministry.
Chris, Jurgen or I never sought out these assignments, we were simply asked by a church leader to serve, giving many hours voluntarily every week. It’s wonderful!
We invite others to come unto Christ by helping them receive the restored gospel through faith in Jesus Christ and his Atonement, repentance, baptism, receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost and enduring to the end.
In summary, the function of the Presidency is to prepare, counsel, teach, minister, and lead the Belgium Netherlands Mission.

Above Reproach

Perhaps you’re serving a mission, served previously, want to serve in the future or want to improve your relationships with others?
Young or old, in the mission field, the standards, the discipline, the expectations – are high.
To be an effective missionary, you must be a faithful disciple of Jesus Christ and be πšπ›π¨π―πž 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐚𝐜𝐑, in all of your actions and dealings with everyone.
Building a Christlike character is a daily process, it is an individual responsibility.
By following the β€œMissionary Standards for the Disciples of Jesus Christ,” the example each missionary sets can always be above reproach.

What does it mean to be 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒓𝒆𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒂𝒄𝒉?

π€π›π¨π―πž π‘πžπ©π«π¨πšπœπ‘ – β€œImpossible to criticise, being good, blameless, unaccusable, faultless, exemplary, impeccable.
In the books of 1 Timothy and Titus, Paul referring to the qualifications of a Bishop, outlines virtues that an individual would have to possess in order to be β€œπšπ›π¨π―πž π«πžπ©π«π¨πšπœπ‘β€.
Similarly, a missionary is not arrogant or quick-tempered or violent or greedy for gain, but hospitable, a lover of good, self-controlled, upright, holy, and disciplined.
Over these last two years, I know that it takes personal effort in all of our actions and communications to be above reproach.
Is your soul untarnished?
It may not be easy, but it is possible.
Our actions must be above reproach, not only in the public domain, but even more so in our own private moments.
How are your interactions with others?
As missionaries and disciples of Jesus Christ, being thoughtful of our spoken words, the things we say and share online, the way we treat others, and the way we live our daily lives, must always be above reproach.
I know the example that missionaries set, will indeed set the tone for others to follow, just like the millions who choose to follow the ultimate example of being above reproach, even Jesus Christ.

Are you true to yourself?

A true missionary is one who is living a life above reproach.
If we are to find true happiness, real joy, missionary or not, then living our life above reproach, should be a given.
This week during Zone Conferences, we ran expert panels with 13 soon to be departing for home missionaries. It was fun!
I love these pictures of missionaries serving with all of their hearts, learning what it means to honour missionary standards, and to serve above reproach.
How do you maintain your personal character and live your life πšπ›π¨π―πž 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐚𝐜𝐑?

Reframing

β€œWhat do you mean by reframing?”…asked the missionary.
In response I said, β€œWell, what I mean by reframing, is that you see a current situation from a different perspective.”
Essentially, reframing can help you see things differently, all of which can be really helpful in problem solving, decision making and learning.
Over many years in my coaching practice, I’d often use reframing to help someone become unstuck.
Similarly, I find it regularly in coaching interviews with missionaries too.
For example, a missionary may say, β€œI really doubt that I can do anything about this issue.”
In response, I know I’m likely to say something such as β€œSo, what is one small step that you can take?”
I often find myself moving from the past to the future with missionaries too.
Oftentimes I’ve heard a comment like β€œI’ve never been good at speaking with people.”
If I hear that kind of comment, my response is something like β€œIf you imagine yourself being successful in speaking with others, what would that look like and feel like?”
Changing the language you use is helpful.
For instance, a missionary may say β€œI am really struggling with my new companion, I don’t understand him, and we just don’t connect at all.”
Reframing that could look like this β€œGetting to know a new companion can take a lot of time and work. I have done it before successfully. It’s very rewarding and a great opportunity to learn something new about myself and others.”
Reframing is allowing yourself the opportunity to reinterpret a situation in a way, that is going to help you move through the challenge faced.
By reframing a threat to a challenge, can help us to feel courageous.
In summary, reframing an experience can give you access to more productive and positive thoughts, feelings, and behaviours.
What is your favourite reframing tactic?

Mothers who Hope

Today throughout much of the world, it’s Mother’s Day.
To each of you dear mothers, we express our sincere gratitude and thanks.
Your precious sons and daughters are safe as they serve here in Belgium and the Netherlands.
Thank you for being marvellous mothers and doing all the things you do.
Thank you for the sacrifices you and your family make every day.
Daily, like you, we hope and pray for the success and happiness of your missionary.
We pledge to guide them, help them, love them, watch over them and treat them as if they were our very own sons and daughters.
We promise you, every single day, we sense as if they really are!
Take a look at our latest mission picture.
This was just before everyone headed off to Keukenhof.
Prior to Keukenhof, we held a morning of service and doing good in the community, which was filled with spiritual insights, magical musical moments, sweet testimonies, and a whole lot of laughter too.

Our Report

Our report is this… your sons and daughters and the mission are thriving!
We have enjoyed the most incredible faith filled last few weeks.
It is a sweet honour and privilege to serve side by side, shoulder to shoulder, with each of your sons and daughters.
We truly work with the greatest young men and women on planet earth.
We know that, and feel that, every single day.
We know too that they love you, so very, very much.
And likewise we know that your love is unconditional, unbreakable, and forever.
The love you have for your son or daughter is like nothing else in the world.

President Nelson

You will recall a recent statement by President Russell M. Nelson… β€œOur Heavenly Father has reserved many of His most noble spiritsβ€”perhaps, I might say, His finest teamβ€”for this final phase. Those noble spiritsβ€”those finest players, those heroesβ€”are you!”
It is our witness, that each of your sons and daughters are part of β€œHis finest team” here in Belgium and the Netherlands.
Dear Mothers – we pray for the sweetest blessings of heaven, to be poured out upon each of you on this special day.

Diligence!

β€œπ–π‘πšπ­ 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐒𝐭 𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐧 𝐭𝐨 π›πž 𝐝𝐒π₯𝐒𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐭?” asked the missionary…
We agreed upon a definition that diligence was someone who was steady, consistent, earnest, had zeal and energetic effort.
We also agreed that diligence implies that we really care about whatever it is we are doing.
To be diligent takes some effort.
I considered the opposites for a moment, negligent, lazy, careless, idle.
The scriptures are filled with references to diligence or being diligent.
One of my favourites is found in Moroni 9:6, when Mormon counselled his son Moroni saying: β€œLet us labour diligently…. For we have a labour to perform…”
I thought for a moment about the labours I have to perform, and am I diligent in performing them?
What labours do you have to perform?
As a father, as a mother, as a brother, as a sister, as a son, or as a daughter?
As an employer, as an employee, as a volunteer, as a missionary?
At home, in the workplace, in the community or in the mission field?
β€œHe who labours diligently need never despair; for all things are accomplished by diligence and labour.” – Mark Water.
Diligence is a prized possession that I hope we all want to have in our lives.
How does a lazy person transition to being diligent?
In my experience, there is usually some kind of a wake-up call, a painful experience perhaps, that opened their eyes to the trouble their lazy ways have reaped.
I hope that you haven’t had too many wake up calls in life and choose to be diligent!
Are you diligent?

And we’re off! (again)

The 𝐨𝐧π₯𝐲 constant in life is π’„π’‰π’‚π’π’ˆπ’†.
Fasten your seatbelts everyone!!!
Change in the mission field accelerates at an unprecedented speed.
Yet, our six-week mission transfer cycle ensures that the pace of change is also predictable.
While this is overwhelming for some, it isn’t going to stop anytime soon!
If you are serving as a missionary in any one of the 416 missions around the world, you’ll need to keep up!
The work of salvation is hastening even faster, there is an increased urgency and speeding up of the work, is an absolute, it is a given!
So how do you keep up?
Maintaining a regular constant regime of learning, through daily routines can really help.
In our mission, like others, there is a strong focus on π₯𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐒𝐧𝐠.
We decelerate on a few occasions too, in order to accelerate once more.
Slowing down in our Mission Leadership Council, Zone Councils, District Councils, Zone Conferences, weekly huddle calls and 1-1 personal coaching sessions with every missionary, allows each of us to catch our breath just long enough, communicate, have some deep dialogue, get aligned, then set the right attentions and intentions for the remainder of the transfer.
I have experienced that our environment of constant change is as natural as breathing.
But, like anything else, it takes time to adjust and find your rhythm.
Weaving agility, flexibility, adaptation, and resilience into our personal DNA help us feel comfortable.
Ultimately, change happens through people.
I have learned that if you want to keep pace with change and tackle future changes, then the 𝐀𝐞𝐲 is to 𝒉𝒆𝒍𝒑 𝒑𝒆𝒐𝒑𝒍𝒆 𝒕𝒐 π’„π’‰π’‚π’π’ˆπ’† π’•π’‰π’†π’Žπ’”π’†π’π’—π’†π’”.
How do you manage to keep up with change?