Just Ask

After completing my university studies, I encountered Meta-Morphose, a specialist graduate sales recruitment and training company based in southwest England.
I endured a gruelling selection process and qualified for their programme.
Ultimately, with their assistance, I received a few work opportunities and subsequently embarked upon my sales career.
Although I was never the very top salesman, I did enjoy consistent success and over time managed several sales teams.
I also received a few accolades and for many years I was a judge in the UK National Sales Awards.
Sales eventually brought me into leadership, coaching, training and facilitation.
Early on in my career, I learned a very powerful lesson, that I want to share today.
In sales, most people spend the majority of their time and resources prospecting for new business, hunting down and finding new opportunities.
In my early days, there was a lot of cold calling, door knocking, direct mail, advertising etc.
Today, a lot of that now happens online.
However, I discovered that there is an easier and much more productive way.
It’s simple really, you just really have to remember to ask!

Would you like to know how?

The answer is asking for a referral.
Commonly known as a referral dialogue.
It’s not what you know, it’s what you do with what you know that counts.
Most of us just aren’t sure what words to use.
You don’t want to come across as high-pressured or pushy.
Or you don’t want to put a strain on a relationship.
With the right words, in a conversation, all of these obstacles can be removed.
The key is to reframe a conversation into something you can easily repeat over and over again.
There are many ways to ask, but you simply need to remember and ask!
𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐀𝐒𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆!!!
Practice with a peer who wants to generate more referrals too and you’ll come up with some great examples to use.
I know that success is nothing more than a few simple disciplines, routines, practiced every day, over and over again.
Go on – give it a go today, you’ll be surprised how effective it is!
Just remember to ask!!

A treasured delicacy

A new fresh nut stall has appeared outside our local supermarket.
For the last few weeks, after finishing the shopping, I visit the stall.
I’ve discovered my current favourite, the tropical mix.
Yesterday, knowing that I had a meeting to attend in Zwolle, I bought extra to take with me, so that others could enjoy my newfound discovery and admittedly, I could eat a few more too!
Prior to the start of the meeting, the nuts were dished up and placed on each of the tables.
The meeting went well, it was insightful, and we made some positive progress together.
However, over the passage of time, it was fascinating to watch how the bowls of nuts gravitated to certain individuals!
In addition, it was clear that there was one particular favourite for everyone – dried bananas!
Simply stated, the tropical mix didn’t contain enough.
Soon, the dried bananas were all gone.

Treasured Delicacy

For centuries dried fruit has been a treasured delicacy.
During His earthly ministry, the Saviour compared good fruit to things of eternal worth.
We read in Matthew 7:16, “Ye shall know them by their fruits.” And in verse 17, “Every good tree bringeth forth good fruit.” Then in John 4:36, He encouraged us to gather “fruit unto life eternal.”
In my lifetime, I’ve discovered that the fruits of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ are real, for many they are a treasured delicacy.
I know when people live the gospel, no matter their age, they always enjoy the fruits.
In John 5:15 Jesus said, “He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.”
Unlike yesterday when we ran out of dried bananas, the fruit of the gospel is readily available, abundant and there is an endless supply.
The fruits of the gospel are what we become.
May I invite you today to examine the fruits of the gospel of Jesus Christ, there are a divers range of tasty discoveries to be made and countless waiting for you to enjoy.

Habits

𝐇𝐚𝐛𝐢𝐭𝐬!
I have a regular early morning routine.
It’s a habit of mine.
It’s precious time, to set me up for all the activities and plans for the day ahead.
I pray, meditate, read, study, ponder, plan, journal and reflect on those things that matter most.
Frequently, it is the most insightful couple of hour’s of my day.
In fact, getting up early has also become a habit of a lifetime.
At home in Scotland in our living room, we have a massive clock that hangs on our wall, above the fireplace.
In the wee small hours of every morning, it has an extremely loud TICK TOCK! Here in the Netherlands, the clock is smaller, but equally loud!
So much so, that I have for many years now reverted to placing ear plugs in each of my ears to block out the noise of the clock, during my precious morning routine.
In fact, that has become another habit of mine.
The reward is silence!
I guess I could sit elsewhere in another room perhaps, but no, my choice is always the living room, because it is comfortable there and I love to pick up a book to study!
How I love the silence of the morning.
These habits, have become part of who I am.
“Your habits shape your identity and your identity shapes your habits.” – James Clear.
Your habits shape what you will become.
I believe that one of the keys to success in life is instilling good habits.
So, what are your habits?
What regular routines do you have in your life that formulate the essence of your being?

Conversations Matter

Yesterday, for a while Monic and I sat in conversation together.
Conversation: “a talk, especially an informal one, between two or more people, in which news and ideas are exchanged.”
In our conversations, we notice how we express our ideas and yet regularly we still misunderstand one another’s meaning.
Frequently, we repeat ourselves, ask questions, slow down and clarify, 𝒃𝒆𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒆 we fully understand.
My coaching career has taught me that when we concentrate fully on a conversation, consider the content, and demonstrate an understanding of the message, the person on the other side always feels valued.
Have you experienced that?
Recently in our missionary zone conferences, we learned how to approach dialogue from a point of engagement and connection that leads to more creative problem-solving, perspective and ultimately stronger relationships.
We learned that conversations evoke emotions, they form a bond between you and others, and can make or break any first impression.
After all, conversations are the lifeblood of all relationships – right?

A Conversation

I love this painting “A Conversation with the Master” by Nathan Florence.
The painting depicts a woman walking alongside Jesus, in a purposeful conversation.
She is doing the lion’s share of the talking, while he is listening thoughtfully.
She is animated about something, whilst his compassion unruffles any undue concern.
Perhaps they have wandered for a while in the beautiful countryside.
His focus is completely on her.
He does not heal her with his touch.
Rather, He is listening deeply and accompanying her on their journey together.
He walked, talked, listened, smiled, encouraged, and made time for her.
Listening, guided by love, is one of the greatest gifts we can give one another.
Perhaps we can all be a bit more like Jesus and listen more deeply to one another.
In your next conversation, take some time to find the most authentic words to explain your thoughts and feelings, slow down and be a little more vulnerable.
I hope that we can all enjoy deep and meaningful conversations with one another.
What did it feel like when you last had a really good conversation?

Self-reflection

Daily, I consciously make time for self-reflection.
It has been a life long practice.
Life is much more fruitful when I take some time to check in with myself!
Paradoxically, looking inwards, helps me to look outwards.
It brings perspective to your life.
Reflection requires courage.
As you look in the mirror of self-reflection, consider these questions:
Am I using my time wisely?
Am I living true to myself?
What surprised me today?
What am I doing about the things that matter most in my life? What do I need to change about myself?
What mistakes did I make today and what did I learn?
Have I made someone smile today?
It is so easy to get caught up in the daily vicissitudes of life.
Self-reflection is the key to help you understand what you stand for, what your values are, and in essence what matters most.
A time to consider your behaviour, your goals and whether you are on track.
The practice is all about learning, looking back on the day in order to contemplate your behaviour and its consequences.
It requires time to sit with yourself and take an honest moment to think about what emerged, what worked, what didn’t, what can be done, and what can’t.
Daily journaling is a great tool to enable you to capture your reflections.
I believe that the more self-reflective you are the easier it becomes to make choices in line with your values.
Self-reflection has been shown to significantly improve learning and performance.
The more aware you of your choices and their impact, then the better the decisions will be that you make now and in the future.
Take time to self-reflect – daily!

Seekers Wanted

As a child, I often played hide-n-seek.
Hide-n-seek was a favourite game to play with our own children, especially in holiday homes, with so many fun places to hide.
Turning the lights off at night and hiding in the dark was always a riot.
Remember counting to 10, then shouting “Here I come, ready or not!?”
𝐒𝐞𝐞𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 to find someone in the dark with a torch light was such fun!
The word 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐤 means to go in search of, try to discover, try to acquire, with energy, direction, passion, and purpose. And that was always the case with hide-n-seek!
𝐒𝐞𝐞𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 implies so much more than merely looking.
𝐒𝐞𝐞𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 is always more of a journey, than any single event.
And on any journey, there are always many peaks and valleys.
I encounter many in the world looking for answers to the question that Jesus asked in the New Testament, “What 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐤 ye?” – John 1:38
How would you answer Jesus’ question?

Are you 𝒔𝒆𝒆𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 something?

Money, wealth, a job, success, a good reputation, happiness, security, comfort?
Like many things in life, success, money, security, are fleeting, elusive, often uncertain and anything but guaranteed.
Are you scrambling in the dark?
Where are you 𝒔𝒆𝒆𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 with your torchlight in hand?
In their response to Jesus, the disciples responded by saying they were not 𝒔𝒆𝒆𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 something, but rather 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞.
They were 𝒔𝒆𝒆𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 the Messiah.
The disciples weren’t the only 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐤𝐞𝐫𝐬 that day.
Jesus Christ too, was and is a 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐤𝐞𝐫.
He too is looking for disciples to follow Him, two millennia ago and today.
Real happiness does not come from 𝒔𝒆𝒆𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 things; it comes from 𝒔𝒆𝒆𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 Jesus.
As you 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐤 for Jesus Christ, you’ll recognise too, that He is 𝒔𝒆𝒆𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 you.
His light is far more powerful than your torchlight.
Daily, honest 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐤𝐞𝐫𝐬 of truth find an answer to the question, “What 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐤 ye” through missionaries from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
And you can too.
What 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐤 ye?

𝐎𝐛𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 – the key that opens every door.

“𝐎𝐛𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 is the key that opens every door.” – C.S. Lewis
Yet, 𝒐𝒃𝒆𝒅𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒆 is not a positive word these days.
Generally, I have found the Dutch (and I love them) do not want anyone telling them what to do!
𝐎𝐛𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞: “compliance with an order, request, or law or submission to another’s authority.”
From Antwerp to Utrecht, over the last couple of days – I’ve shared a quote from Boyd K. Packer that states “𝐎𝐛𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 is a powerful spiritual medicine. It comes close to being a cure-all.”
From “every door” to “cure-all.”
I want some of that.
Do you?
This is an exciting time to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
And even more so to serve as a full time missionary.
We are blessed to able to serve day in, day out with approximately 120 voluntary missionaries here in Belgium and the Netherlands.
They are remarkable.
Each of them has an obedient heart.

𝐎𝐛𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 is a principle of discipline, choice, and trust.

Learning of it, with exactness in our youth is “powerful spiritual medicine” that can and does act as a guide for each of them as they chart their journey through life.
“If you want to learn to fly an aeroplane, learn and follow the laws that govern gravity.
If you want to operate on the human heart, learn and follow the laws that govern the human body.
If you want to be happy, learn and keep the commandments.
It becomes a rather simple formula” – said Russell M. Nelson.
For your journey through life, one of the first things you need to know is this…
“There is a law, irrevocably decreed in heaven before the foundations of this world, upon which all blessings are predicated.
And when we obtain any blessing from God, it is by 𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 to that law upon which it is predicated. (Doctrine & Covenants 130:20–21)
Please ponder that thought.
It states unmistakably the fact that there are principles upon which promises are predicated, and that obedience is the key to receiving blessings.
My experience is this – 𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 with exactness, always brings safety and inner peace.
I hope that each of us will choose to follow the simple formula of 𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 throughout our life.

Jump in!

Did you dip your toes in the water a little?
OR
Did you jump in at the deep end?
Which metaphor describes your 2022?
What did you do particularly well?
𝑾𝒆𝒍𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒕𝒐 2023
As each year passes by, we never stay the same.
𝐖𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐰, 𝐰𝐞 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐧, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞.
Truth beknown, I learned last year that you can’t deliver your best work if you’re not energised!
I chose to jump in at the deep end and rediscovered the of power napping!
It’s been great!
It has reawakened a host of benefits for me.
I was keen to change and be reenergised!
I witnessed, time and time again many others who changed in a much more significant way.
There were many that I encountered who were seeking to change who met with our missionaries.
Many decided to jump in and become members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
It changed their whole life.
They too have been re-energised!
It has been a real joy to become acquainted with them.
Like many hundreds of thousands before them, they chose to dip their toes in a little to start with, and then decided to jump in!
Happiness often springs from small and unexpected sources.
You will find it in abundance as you choose to follow Jesus Christ this year.
That’s the message I would like to share with you as we start 2023…
All over the world in 2022, missionaries were life savers for thousands of others – just like you.
I look forward to becoming acquainted with you too.
Why not dip your toes in to start with?

Or better still, choose to jump in at the deep end! 😊

Either way, it’ll be the best decision you make this year.

Time is Life

𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐋𝐢𝐟𝐞.

It is irreversible and irreplaceable.

This year has been very different from others gone by.

For the last 10 years, I’d coach circa 15 people one on one, and have around 100 – 200, sixty-to-ninety-minute coaching conversations a year, in amongst my many other professional activities.

This year, I’ve coached circa 150 people one on one, and have had around 1000 – 1200, twenty-to-forty-minute coaching conversations, in amongst my many other missionary activities.

It’s been a little busier, very different, more intensive and a little more tiring too!

However, I absolutely love it!

In amongst all of those coaching conversations, there have been many incredible discoveries made.
Amongst the many coaching techniques, I frequently use, is a very simple one, it’s akin to judo.

The word judo consists of two Japanese characters, ju, which means “gentle”, and do, which means “the way”.

Judo, therefore, literally means the gentle way.

I did say it was simple!

This is the model.

• Invite them to share their story
• Ask questions, to create curiosity and to explore their journey.
• Share a personal story as an alternative view.
• Review – what can I do better?

As you review 2022 and reflect upon all that has gone by, perhaps you can ask yourself this question too…

“What could I have done better?”

Treasures

“And when they were come into the house, they saw the young child with Mary his mother, and fell down, and worshipped him: and when they had opened their treasures, they presented unto him gifts; gold, and frankincense, and myrrh.” – Matthew 2:11
Gold – because Christ is simply, the King of Kings.
Frankincense – used as medicine, because Christ came to Heal all of us.
Myrrh – used at burials, because Christ came to die for all of us.
Perhaps it is time for all of us, to acknowledge Him as our King, our Healer and our Saviour this Christmas day.
Three gifts.
What gift will you choose to offer Him?