Change Your Life

Earlier this week at FSY, I used one of my favourite icebreaker activities; “A conversation with a time traveller”.
It goes something like this…
In pairs, one participant plays someone from the early 1600’s and gets into character/mindset.
The other participant selects a modern-day object/something from our day and explains it to the individual posing as someone from the 1600’s.
I suggest they try and explain any of the following:
– A carry out pizza
– A Smartphone
– The Cinema
– Disneyland
– Netflix
As participants get into character, the results are always fun and insightful.
Participants switch roles and repeat.
There were lot of smiles, laughter, and bewildered faces on show.
Followed by a realisation that times, things, and people have 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒅 – substantially!
There is nothing so unchanging, so inevitable as change itself.
Everything around us seems to be changing at an accelerated pace.
Most changes in the world seem beyond our control.
Yet, you can 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞.

You can change your life…

Each of us have the power to change our lives.
“Every effort to change we make—no matter how tiny it seems to us—just might make the biggest difference in our lives.” – Michael A. Dunn
You can be a little better.
You can stand a little taller.
You can love a little deeper.
You can pick a different path.
You can walk a different walk.
You can find forgiveness.
And joy.
You can become your best you.
Because He gave His life, you can change yours.
I have experienced change first-hand through the actions I’ve taken.
As I have relied on Jesus Christ, He has helped bring true joy into my life.
He can and will for you too.

Pause

On Tuesday morning, I was sat with my other co-facilitators at the back of a very large hall, filled with 150 or so teenagers (13 – 18-year-olds).
Together, we listened attentively to the opening remarks, the first devotional message and the plans for the day.
Unexpectedly, all of the facilitators were asked to come to the stage and introduce themselves and their workshops.
One by one, each facilitator introduced themselves and their workshop topic.
Finally, the announcer looked towards me and my co-facilitators.
I took a breath and slowed down.
I 𝐩𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐝.
There was a polite round of applause.
Then, I made a gesture by raising my arms.
The result, the applause got louder.
I raised my arms a little further and the noise went up another notch or two.
Lowering my arms, the applause subsided.
I hadn’t uttered a word, and yet had already managed to gain the attention of the 150 kids in the room.
Most people find it hard to pause at all.
It’s fascinating working with young people.
Top Tip – Get their attention with some noise, then freeze and be quiet for a moment, nonverbally signalling that you have something to say.
Pausing is not a moment of “nothing”. Rather, it is a tool that can help us to build a connection, to engage with the audience, and grabs attention, whether emotionally or intellectually.
Pausing is not as easy as it sounds.
In my experience, pausing helps to convey a message more effectively.
It also allows you to collect your thoughts and allows your audience to follow what you’re saying.
Never underestimate the power of a pause.
“The right word may be effective, but nothing is as effective as a well-timed pause.” – Mark Twain
Why not consider using the power of a pause in your next lesson or presentation.

FSY

Yesterday, I had the opportunity to attend FSY Nederland-Vlaanderen in De Beukenhof, Biezenmortel.
For the Strength of Youth (𝐅𝐒𝐘) conferences are five-day events that include activities, devotionals, and classes designed to help strengthen faith in Jesus Christ and provide opportunities for youth to grow spiritually, socially, physically, and intellectually.
My co-facilitators were 5 of our missionaries, Libby Wilcox, Averi Hanny, Christian Adams, Luk Vanderlinden and Dallin Doxford.

Workshops

We had the opportunity to run 4 workshops, attended by in total, 100+ Gen Z participants, aged between 13 – 18 years old.
Our topics –
– Preach My Gospel – 2nd Edition.
– The Benefits of Serving a Mission.
To begin, we ran some fun icebreakers on communication, change and observation.
I retired the first edition of Preach My Gospel, and everyone received a hard copy of the second edition.
We used it to teach some key principles about technology and sharing the gospel via social media.
Technology allowed us to connect to the Missionary Training Centres (MTC’s) in Preston England and Provo, Utah.
We were joined by former missionaries Joey de Sousa and Nathanael Strickler who teach at the MTC’s.
They facilitated a discussion with missionaries who were enjoying the first few days of their MTC experiences, and fielded questions from our participants in the room.
Four of the missionaries online, will be arriving in the Belgium Netherlands Mission in 5 weeks’ time.

Expert Panel

We followed up with an expert panel of our own missionaries, who have served from 13 – 22 months in Belgium and the Netherlands.
Questions came freely from the workshop participants.
They listened intently to the answers from our missionaries.
What’s been the most difficult thing in the mission field? Do you have any fun? What do you do all day? How long do you serve in an area? Is it hard work? What is it like to be with your companion 24/7?
It was fun to be with everyone.
Somehow, we managed to engage with our Gen Z digital native friends for around 50 minutes at a time!
And we even managed to share a fun Instagram post together!
Please invite us again! 😊

His hand to the Plough

Around 1 year ago, whilst preparing for Zone Conferences, an image came to mind that I’d seen many years ago.
My good friends Gary & Jo Griffiths had used it when they presided over the Scotland Ireland Mission.
I scoured the internet to try and find a copy of the image and reached out to Gary too. But alas, I was unsuccessful.
A few days later, one of our missionaries Atticus Snow, mentioned to me about a blank canvas he had, and asked if he could paint anything for me. A serendipitous moment, if ever there was one.
I then shared with him the image I had in mind.
Time passed by
And for a while I forgot about the image and the painting.
More time passed.
Earlier this year, I asked if he’d made any progress with his “drawing”. He’d been busy and had only made a little bit of progress.
Even more time passed and the time for him to return home was approaching.
Again, I asked about his “drawing”.
He told me progress was being made.
A few days ago, I asked “Did you finish the horses?”
He replied, “No it’s not finished.”
I was a little disappointed.
Returning home after a busy morning on Thursday, Monic said that there was something in the office for me.

Surprise

And there it was. He’d surprise me!
The most exquisite painting of the image I had described 12 months previously.
I must admit that I shed a tear or two.
Later that day, at our departures meeting we asked everyone gathered to share their own impressions of the painting, and what it meant to them in regard to missionary work.
Many poignant thoughts were shared, things of our souls, touching all of our hearts.
Consider, Luke 9:62.
Atticus told us about the research he did for the painting and a few finer particulars.
If you look closely, those details will emerge.
It is a labour of love.
One meaning, I see symbolically, is two strong missionaries, straining to fulfil their purpose, as the Lord directs them in their work, guiding the blade true and straight, with His eyes future focussed, fixed upon the furrow to be cut.
Let you heart ponder for a while.
What do you see?

Tiny Obstructions

On Saturday morning, Monic was sat in the car, ready to go.
Time was pressing to get to Groningen, a 2½ hour drive.
Despite several attempts the electronic automated garage doors, would not close.
Somehow – they’d jammed open.
Frustrated, I pressed the electronic remote several times. Nothing.
I moved bicycles and stuff from around the garage door. Nothing.
I removed the plug and reset the system. Nothing.
I tried that three times. Nothing.
I tried physical force. Silly. Nothing.
I called on Monic. She gave me some similar tips. Nothing.
I called the church Facilities Manager. He gave now familiar advice. Nothing.
Finally, he said, are the internal Infra-red readers clean. I cleaned them. Nothing.
The issue was escalating.
We needed to be in Groningen, but we were now late.
“Should I call and cancel?” – I thought.
Overhearing our frustrations, our neighbour Peter Van de Kamp, came to the rescue.
Immediately, he found the problem.
“It’s the branches, those little twigs” he said.
Those tiny twigs were obstructing the external infra-red readers.
I never knew they were even there!
Thank you, Peter (again)! 😊
Regularly he comes to our rescue!
It was a simple solution if you know how.
We made it to Groningen albeit, 10 minutes late.
Very few big problems, start as big problems.
In fact, most problems start small, tiny even.
Tiny, seemingly insignificant things, can create big problems.
Oftentimes, others can come to your rescue…
What tiny insignificant things might be causing problems in your life?

Aligned

Over the course of the last 10 days, I have met face to face with each of the Stake Presidents serving in Belgium and the Netherlands.
I’ve travelled from the most southerly, to the most northerly part of the mission, meeting…
Angelo Leman in Gent
Eelco Scheltinga in Den Haag
and Jerry Bletterman in Groningen
What is the role of a Stake President?
A stake president is the lay leader of a stake, which is a geographic subdivision similar to a Catholic diocese. A stake president is a man who is asked to serve as a volunteer in this position. He oversees Church programmes in a defined geographic area composed of individual congregations called wards and is responsible to help the members of his stake in their efforts to follow Jesus Christ. He also oversees the activities of the bishops or ward leaders, counselling them as needed.
As I met with each of them, I discovered something.
Frequently, in our discussions together, we used the word 𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒈𝒏𝒆𝒅, or 𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒈𝒏𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕.
𝐀𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐧𝐞𝐝: “supporting or agreeing with another person, to match behaviours, thoughts or views, harmonize the aims or practices”
It was a marvel.
Whilst living here, in two countries where bicycles are everywhere, I’ve learned the importance of wheel alignment.
To keep your bike running smoothly, truing a wheel involves tightening and adjusting spokes from time to time to keep your wheels aligned.
Similarly meeting together from time to time with each Stake President, ensures that we are in full alignment.

Staying aligned

We are spiritually aligned through our faith in God, our testimonies of the truth, plus the knowledge and wisdom that each of us have gathered, as we study the holy scriptures and follow living prophets.
Quentin L. Cook recently said “Our Heavenly Father’s plan for safely gathering His children to our heavenly home is not based on worldly success, economic status, education, race, or gender. Father’s plan is based on righteousness, keeping His commandments, and receiving sacred ordinances and honouring the covenants we make.”
I love these men.
They have become true friends.
I feel united and aligned with each of them as together, we boldly declare the message of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ and invite all to come unto Him.

Uncommon

Yesterday, whilst waiting on others, it wasn’t long before I was chatting with a few of the missionaries.
Whilst doing so, I observed an uncommon behaviour.
𝐔𝐧𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐨𝐧: “out of the ordinary; unusual, not seen, happening, or experienced often, rare.”
I drew closer to my fellow uncommon friend and we caught an in the moment picture together.
Thank you, Sadie Casperson
We laughed and talked for a little while about our uncommon habit.
See below – we’re focused on our watches!
The vast majority of people wear a watch on top of their wrists.
And I am certain they have a whole host of reasons why they do so.
But Sadie and I, wear our watches, along with the minority of people on the inside of our wrists.
I have often been asked why?
Firstly, it is most definitely a habit! I can’t remember not wearing it on the inside!
Secondly, for me turning my wrist to the inside feels much easier, more subtle, and gentler.
And thirdly, there is a practical implication! Professionally and also in my current responsibilities, it is much easier to discreetly glance at my watch and catch up on time during a coaching session or interview.
For me, it has nothing to do with style, protecting the watch against damage, or even to stop glare or reflection of the sun.
I know many professionals, nurses, plumbers, police, armed forces and others choose to wear their watches on the inside. But take a look around, it is uncommon.
Finally, I wear my watch on my non-dominant wrist. How about you?
What does it matter? – I hear you say….!
At the end of the day, there is no right or wrong way to wear a watch.
After all, it’s simply a matter of choice and preference.
Are you outside or inside? Why?
What uncommon habits do you have?

No Regrets

Reflecting this morning, I recalled a phrase I’ve used many times over, in coaching interviews for departing missionaries these last few weeks.
I interview them when they still have a few weeks to serve. In our time together, I share the phrase “𝒏𝒐 𝒓𝒆𝒈𝒓𝒆𝒕𝒔” and we discuss together what it means for them.
It got me thinking more broadly about “The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying” (Bronnie Ware 2012)
As a Palliative care nurse, Bronnie’s life was transformed by tending to the needs of those who were dying. In her book she writes about the most common regrets that the people she had cared for had expressed to her.

Top Regrets

Here are the top five regrets of the dying, as shared by Ware:
𝟏. 𝐈 𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐈’𝐝 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐚 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐲𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟, 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐞.
“This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled.
𝟐. 𝐈 𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐈 𝐡𝐚𝐝𝐧’𝐭 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐬𝐨 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐝.
“This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.”
𝟑. 𝐈 𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐈’𝐝 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬.
“Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.”
𝟒. 𝐈 𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐈 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐲𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐨𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬.
“Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years.”
𝟓. 𝐈 𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐈 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐦𝐲𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐛𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐢𝐞𝐫.
“Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.”
What would your biggest 𝐫𝐞𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐭 be if this was your last day of life?
What will you set out to change today?

Nuts and Bolts

The phrase “nuts and bolts” means all the basic components, the fundamentals, no matter how big or small, that are part of the essentials to complete a task or activity.
In essence – nuts and bolts hold everything together.
The phrase has been running through my head for a while.
The nuts and bolts of missionary work are the basic components, the fundamentals, the essentials to complete our tasks.
A couple of weeks ago, at Zone Conferences (when upwards of 50 – 60 missionaries come together once a transfer for instruction) I spoke specifically on four of the fundamental principles of missionary work – the core nuts and bolts, if you will.
Each missionary was issued with a bolt and 4 nuts, to make the analogy feel real.
The bolt – represented themselves.
Each nut represented a core principle.

Core Principles

1 – 𝑷𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒄𝒉 𝑴𝒚 𝑮𝒐𝒔𝒑𝒆𝒍 – 𝑺𝒆𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒅 𝑬𝒅𝒊𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏. Since its publication, like many of the missionaries I have enjoyed my daily study in Preach My Gospel. President Russell M. Nelson said ““Our charge is much more than just inviting people to join the Church. We want each one to become a fully truly converted disciple of Jesus Christ and to follow Him, now and forever”.
2 – 𝑼𝒔𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒄𝒓𝒊𝒑𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒆𝒔, 𝒆𝒔𝒑𝒆𝒄𝒊𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑩𝒐𝒐𝒌 𝒐𝒇 𝑴𝒐𝒓𝒎𝒐𝒏. Marcus B. Nash said “The mandate for each missionary to search the scriptures is clear and unequivocal, for searching the scriptures brings to them the power of God. It does the same for anyone regardless of their age and experience.”
3 – 𝑭𝒐𝒍𝒍𝒐𝒘 𝑳𝒊𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝑷𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒉𝒆𝒕𝒔. It’s important that we follow the right voice in a world full of wrong voices. That right voice is God’s voice, and He speaks to us through His living prophets and apostles.
4 – 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑮𝒊𝒇𝒕 𝒐𝒇 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑯𝒐𝒍𝒚 𝑮𝒉𝒐𝒔𝒕. The gift of the Holy Ghost is the privilege – given to people who have placed their faith in Jesus Christ, been baptized, and been confirmed as members of the Church. He will guide, teach and comfort us.

Actions

After explaining each principle and the ensuing discussion, each missionary tightly fastened their nuts and bolt together.
As the nuts tightened, thread by thread, symbolically each missionary was strengthening and securing themselves to Jesus Christ, as each core principle was riveted into their mind through their actions.
I know that true joy comes through our daily actions of study, pondering, reflection and prayer, as we fasten ourselves, thread by thread to Jesus Christ.
The world is changing whether you like it or not.  Are you?
How can you fasten yourself to Jesus Christ?

The Power of Purpose

“I’m exhausted!” – is a phrase I hear regularly.

Do you feel like you are sometimes swimming upstream?

At times, all of us can find ourselves physically and emotionally depleted as we resolutely seek to meet the demands of our daily routines.

Recently, I came across a quote from poet and philosopher David Whyte, which really made me stop and think.

David states that there is a potent remedy to exhaustion – and it isn’t taking a nap.

He stated… “The antidote to exhaustion is wholeheartedness”.

Wholehearted…

  • completely and sincerely devoted, determined, or enthusiastic, marked by complete earnest commitment: free from all reserve or hesitation.

Years ago, I worked with a consultancy who focused a lot of their thinking on being a whole leader, using our head, our heart, and our gut. I learned that when they are all aligned in complete harmony, we feel more committed and invigorated to do our very best work.

What strikes me about being surrounded by 130 missionaries of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, is that they really believe in what they do, they truly embody their purpose, “To invite others to come unto Christ”.  They are purpose led. It unifies them all.

Each of them knows their purpose, are aligned with it, and can articulate it clearly and simply.

The Bigger Picture

In 1962, President John F. Kennedy visited NASA for the first time. During his tour of the facility, he met a janitor who was carrying a broom down the corridor. The President then casually asked the janitor what he did for NASA, and the janitor replied, “I’m helping put a man on the moon.”

Think about that for a moment.

To many, the janitor was simply cleaning the building.

But, in the bigger picture, the janitor ensured that the building was clean, so that NASA engineers, scientists and astronauts could focus on their purpose and put a man on the moon.  He connected his purpose with theirs.

When we lack purpose, we become drained and disengaged.

Quite the opposite is true when we wholeheartedly engage with the power and sense of a greater purpose.

It stirs us into action to achieve a greater cause, experiencing a revived sense of energy and in turn we discover greater meaning.

By focussing wholeheartedly on their purpose, our missionaries have truly found themselves.

Are you lacking purpose?  Then missionaries can help!