A new chapter

As one chapter in life draws to a close, another is set to begin…

One morning earlier this week, I was about to head outside to post a birthday card, when our youngest daughter Cristi was also just departing for school.  I asked if I could join her on her walk to school and she agreed that I could.

All at once, memories flooded back of the many times over the last 20 years of walking to school with our children. Walking through the rain, wind, snow and sunshine have all been experiences we’ve shared together.  The days of holding each of their hands have long since gone.  Tiny steps, eventually grew into strides together.

Walking with Cristi, I recognised quickly that this was likely to be the very last time I walked with her on part of her journey to school.  Her school days are swiftly drawing to a close, with only a few days left to go.  We talked, we laughed and to be honest, I did get a little emotional. Just for a moment there was a little tear in my eye.  I realised that the school days of our children chapter of our life together, was now rapidly drawing to an end.  As we reached Dot, the lollipop lady, we wished each other well.

Our Book of Life

Like a book, life has a beginning, and end, and a lot of chapters in between that push us forward from one event to another.  Each of us will begin many new chapters in our own book of life.  Some chapters are challenging and difficult, others are fun and exciting.  Momentarily, a little bit of sentimentality also played into my own book, with this little walk for sure.  Another sweet memory was added into my own book of life.

Ultimately change happens for each of us.

Accepting change can be hard and exciting too, as we turn the page of a new chapter in life.  For us, there are a whole new set of adventures ahead, Belgium/Netherlands beckons!!

What changes and new chapters are you set to write about in your very own book of life?

Frustration

What frustrates you?

Frustration: “…the feeling of being upset or annoyed as a result of being unable to change or achieve something.”

I know that an upside of frustration is that it tells you that you still have some important lessons to learn in a specific area.

Are you like me? Gripping a few prickly problem perhaps? You try extremely hard to resolve the issue yourself. Then anxiety and stress start to build. We become our own worst enemy, when infuriatingly despite our best efforts, we can’t resolve the matter. Grrrr!

I was like that for a little while on Saturday morning. What was this huge grizzly challenge? Of all things – a wooden gate! My woodworking skills aren’t amongst my top abilities and my stubbornness meant I wasn’t for listening to any suggestions either.

Yet, sometimes a rescuer comes along and helps. With patience, kindness and tender words, they help you to see things differently, offering alternative solutions to the issue at hand. The answer can only be received if you humble yourself, set aside your pride and listen!

As the tension subsided, working together we resolved the matter. Gate fixed! Thank you to my darling wife, for her forbearance, restraint and composure to deal with grumpy old me. Lesson learned, again!

Naps!

“Yep – I am getting old” I thought. Let me explain further…
After a very busy week of virtual design, virtual delivery, coaching and mentoring – all things that I love, Friday afternoon arrived far too quickly.  I have always been an early riser and by 12 noon yesterday, I was already feeling a little tired.  At that exact time however, my next virtual delivery session with participants from as far afield as Costa Rica to China was due to begin. I threw myself into the 90 minute session with my usual gusto and before I knew it, the time was gone.
I enjoyed a lovely lunch sitting in the sun filled front porch at home.
And then it happened….
…….In my nice comfy chair, I simply dozed off! I was completely out, counting sheep for over half an hour…!
When I awoke, I was pleasantly surprised by the passing of time. And yet, I felt both a sense of relaxation and refreshment at the same time.
My next series of virtual calls were looming and yet it felt as if my vitality and energy levels had been completely restored. It was a gentle and yet satisfying feeling of reassurance that pervaded my entire being.
The upside of a napping for me – less stress, more efficiency, better health and enhanced learning! Enjoy your next one!
How often do you take a wee nap?

The Speed of Change

Events happen that create change.

Being change agile has been critical for all of us this last year, life has changed significantly.

World War II

Cast your mind back a few generations.  At the outbreak of WWII,  the massive change of war impacted every household across the nation.  There were repercussions for everyone.

One consequence was that the UK government embarked upon a scrap drive with households all over the nation donating their iron railings and gates to the war effort. It was quite an initiative, creating a feeling of  altruistic sacrifice amongst the people of the country.  Indeed it was a feel good factor, boosting morale, we were all in this together!

The recycled iron collected was used to create steel for all kinds of uses during the war, ships, tanks, planes, tools etc.

Subsequently mile after mile of iron railings vanished from our streets.  Even after all these years, our neighbourhood still has lots of evidence to suggest that great sacrifice was made for the war effort.

Whilst out walking yesterday, we noticed that one of the larger houses in our area had new iron railings installed.  They looked great!  As we continued our walk, we observed just how many other homes in our community had never replaced the railings.  Despite the fact that 80+ years have passed by!

Somehow yesterday, the fact that one home had new iron railings, accentuated the issue, namely there were so many homes that hadn’t done anything in all those years.

So – why is that?

  • Our initial thought was perhaps people didn’t have the money to replace the railings?  Would that be the case even after 80+ years?
  • Perhaps people just aren’t interested in beautifying their homes and replacing the iron railings, its unimportant?
  • Could it be that people are just lazy and can’t be bothered?
  • Perhaps they like the little iron stubs protruding out of their walls?  – No that’s just daft we thought!
  • It could be that despite 80+ years passing, it is something that generations of homeowners have never gotten around too?
  • Maybe folks like the constant reminder that the iron stubs are an important part of the social history of the area?
  • Or after all of those ideas, could it be something completely different – that as yet we haven’t thought of?

What do we learn about the speed of change?

The speed of change at the start of WWII was incredibly fast.  The demand for steel accelerated quickly to meet the needs of the war effort.  There was a huge need, driving the change.

Post war it seems, the issue of replacement railings has only ever been addressed by a few.

There is nothing now driving the need for change.

It is simply a matter of personal motivation and a few of the factors outlined above.  The speed factor, the big event driving the change – has disappeared!  Aside from an occasional comment or passing remark, no one is driving the change.  Perhaps that it the biggest lesson of all.

What drives change in your own life and in your own community?

Curiosity

“Tell me, on a scale from 1 to 10, where are you right now?” I asked curiously…

Since my earliest childhood memories, I’ve been curious about things, people, nature, places, history, travel and culture to name a few. I have always been eager to know or learn something new and understand “why?” That probably explains one of the seemingly insatiable penchant’s of mine…..reading books!

One vivid memory from my childhood involved filling a jam jar with some foliage and then capturing a bumble bee. I’d already had some help to put some holes in the lid of the jar, so that any bee’s I captured could breath. I recall observing and listening to the bee for no more than a day, studying it, feeling sad about keeping it in a jar and then setting it free again.

Curiosity is often seen as the driving force behind not only human development, but developments in science, language, and industry. I know too that it is a vital component in coaching and mentoring

My experience is that questions driven by the curiosity of a coach can be the catalyst and driving force for change. I have come to understand that curiosity is the key to learning. It can help to expand our empathy too by helping us understand life experiences different than our own.

What are you curious about?

My world has turned upside down

In the last 12 months my work has literally turned upside down. Let me explain.
I’ve just submitted my year end financial records to my accountant (👋🏻 Lauren – Hello Accountancy- she is great by the way) for the creation of my annual 20-21 management accounts. But I noticed some startling facts I’d like to share.
As an executive coach, facilitator and leadership trainer, my business model is simple. I have several associate relationships and direct clients of my own – thanks everyone! I travel around the UK, Europe and occasionally further afield, meeting lots of people and amass rewards points staying in hotels! Oh, and I love what I do!
Then the pandemic hit.
On 23rd March 2020, with the exception of 1 virtual delivery, my entire face to face workload disappeared overnight.
Now what I thought?
Quickly, with speed and agility, I changed my business model. I upskilled on a wide range of virtual platforms and work mostly from home.
Here are the startling facts on revenues which have remained similar….
  • 2019-2020 – 95% of my revenue is face to face, with 5% virtual.
  • 2020-2021 – 95% of my revenue is virtual, with 5% face to face.
My 100,000+ annual hotel points are now zero and my travel is mostly gone.  I haven’t been on a plane for over a year.
There have been a few other challenges along the way, but I recognise that I am very fortunate too.
How have you had to adapt? How has your world changed?

Why study?

“Studying – the act of texting, eating and watching Netflix with an open textbook nearby” – that’s one definition at least!

Why study? Do I really need to?

An oft heard question targeted at a parent, from a challenging teenager perhaps?

Growing older, I’ve discovered that I love to study, i.e. “devoting time and attention to gain knowledge” – perhaps that is a more traditional definition!  In fact, my penchant for both good books, research and news commentary have developed over the years into something akin to an addiction!  Duolingo, online resources, daily reading and personal tuition have certainly all been extremely important for me right now, as I refresh my Dutch language skills.

So what are the fruits of study? What does it give us in our life – if anything? Why bother?

In my mind, there are many rewards. For example, I’d expect that that there will be an upside in all of following areas of our life, including….

Education, Knowledge, Understanding, Awareness, Influence, Perspective, Appreciation, Decision Making, Opportunities, Achievements and many, many more!

One key aspect of study, is discovery. New insights, new information, new inspiration, new strokes of ideas! Frequently referred to as “aha” moments. They can be magical, exciting and motivational.

My top tip – 𝐑𝐒𝐕𝐏 – 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝, 𝐒𝐭𝐮𝐝𝐲, 𝐕𝐢𝐬𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐞, 𝐏𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫

Why not study? And yes – you really need to! Go on, pick up a new book today!

So, you want to be a mentor?

“So you want to improve your 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 skills” I asked. “Yes indeed” came the reply.
This week, I have spent a lot of time in 1-1 sessions, helping individual mentors improve their mentoring skills.
Here are my 𝐭𝐨𝐩 𝟏𝟎 𝐭𝐢𝐩𝐬 for guidance.
  • 𝐋𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐧 with compassion, empathy and understanding – Deep or Active Listening.
  • 𝐀𝐬𝐤 𝐐𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬, be curious, seek clarity, probe, ask why and help each mentee to ask questions of themselves.
  • 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐞 – move their learning from their comfort zone to their stretch zone.
  • Give of your 𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞, frequently, consistently, intimately, 1-1
  • Be fully 𝐏𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭. When you meet, create a psychologically safe space, and ensure there are no distractions.
  • Storytelling. Share your experiences that helped you succeed. Bring your stories to life.
  • Make a 𝐏𝐥𝐚𝐧, set objectives and begin with the end in mind.
  • Provide 𝐒𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭 & 𝐄𝐧𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 to your mentee to push through difficult challenges. Be a trusted sounding board.
  • 𝐀𝐝𝐯𝐢𝐬𝐞 & 𝐑𝐞𝐟𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐞 – make suggestions, offer different perspectives to help a mentee become unstuck through self-reflection.
  • Give 𝐂𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 & 𝐈𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 from time to time, to avoid potential pitfalls.

Civility lifts people

“Thank you” she said. “No, thank you” said another. Out campaigning yesterday for what I believe in, something impressed me about everyone I met – every individual person was civil and respectful. What a joy!
I’m not sure why I would have expected anything else, but what I do believe is that each of us should be active in the communities in which we live. We should aim to work cooperatively and do as much good as we can, treating others with respect and civility regardless of different views or perspectives of a given situation.
In Scotland, as another election looms on the horizon, I hope that we will continue to enjoy healthy debate, but also cordial and reasoned exchanges amongst one another. Each of us are free to choose our own political philosophy, where we can think and speak for ourselves. Living in a society which embraces freedom of speech and values democracy is something so important to each and everyone of us. I hope we all get that.
Civility lifts people up and is key to how we engage with others.
Rather than rancorous confrontation, I hope and pray that in the days ahead, we choose to be equally kind, considerate, civil, co-operative and respectful of one another, despite the broad range of views in the political spectrum.

Are you FITT?

Are you FITT?

The FITT principle is a smart acronym that gives athletes a workout plan to help them achieve their goals – yet, in a very similar manner it applies to our learning and development habits too.

Ask any athlete and they’ll tell you what FITT stands for – as follows;
F-Frequency: refers to how often you exercise.
I-Intensity: refers to how hard you exercise.
T-Time: refers to how long you exercise for.
T-Type: refers to what kind of exercise you do.

The FITT Principle can help you create your own powerful learning & development plan.

For example – let’s consider studying for a new skill or learning requirement:
Frequency – how often you study
Intensity – how hard you study
Time – how long you study
Type – what type of different study tools you use

If you want to improve your learning & development ‘fitness’ – then apply the FITT principle to your plan and routine. It won’t be long before you witness a difference and your learning will be a winner!