Tag Archive for: values

Lines that define

Recently whilst working with a business client, we explored the concept of personal boundaries or the red lines we draw for ourselves and are unwilling to cross, even in the most difficult of situations.
The values that define our boundaries protect our well-being and even guide our decisions.
Boundaries can often reflect our deepest principles and non-negotiables.
They shape how we interact with others and help us navigate the challenges we face.
To bring this to life, we engaged in a few activities about boundaries.
We’d already created a psychologically safe space for everyone to share in our learning session.
Participants were asked to visualise a scenario where their boundaries had been tested, a moment when they felt uneasy, conflicted, or even compromised.
They were then invited to reflect: where did they draw the line?
Many chose to share their experiences openly with the group.
Did they stand firm, or did they allow others to cross that line?
The conversations that followed were eye-opening.
People shared how recognising and honouring their boundaries had empowered them, strengthened relationships, and brought clarity in difficult situations.
Others admitted how, at times, they had failed to assert their limits, leading to regret or frustration.
Understanding your own boundaries requires courage, self-awareness, and sometimes, a willingness to say “no.”
So, where do you draw the line?
How do your boundaries reflect who you are and what you stand for?
And, most importantly, how do you ensure those boundaries are respected?

Morning Routines

“Nothing much happened today….”
Those were the opening words of my first diary entry on January 1st, 1978.
Since then, I have written thousands more.
In a few weeks’ time, it’ll be 47 years since it all began.
And my daily morning entries have filled 49 page a day journals (a couple of years 1983 – 1985 I filled a few.)
I am grateful for my mother.
Since Christmas day 1977, with her gift of the little diary, every December 25th since, she has presented me with a new journal for the year ahead.
Filled with priceless memories, stories, insightful experiences, a few travelogues and a number of boring entries too 😉, they have become a record of my life.
They are a way to remember.

Mornings

I believe that how you start your morning sets the tone for the rest of your day.
In 1977, I began my years at High School in Dunfermline.
That summer, I started an early morning newspaper round.
Those early rises allowed me to establish regular morning habits that developed into consistent, reliable daily patterns from a young age.
I discovered that if you start every day with intention, a disciplined mindset is the result.
It has been the foundation for steady growth in my personal learning, development, family and professional life.
A structured morning routine helps you to focus on any priority tasks for the day ahead, without feeling hurried and to plan your time and resources accordingly.
Finding a morning routine that suits you, may take a little time.
The important thing is to commit to a routine that supports your own goals and lifestyle.
For me jotting down my thoughts of the activities of the day before in my journal is a powerful way to slow me down and clear my mind.

Top Tips

– Set a regular, consistent wake up time.
– Hydrate immediately and drink a glass of water.
– Journal – Start small – my first journal entry was just 12 words.
– Meditate & Study
– Prioritise your day.
As opposed to those first few words of my journal of 1978, something of real value happened that day, which has set the daily routines of my lifetime.
What did you do this morning?

Guarding Against Silent Judgment

Five years ago, I wrote about the dangers of pointing out faults in others. See https://www.darylwatson.org/…/the-dangers-of-pointing…/
Reflecting upon that blogpost, one thought comes to mind as I try to do better, is this… “I choose not to let passing judgment become a silent habit that I don’t know is happening.”
It’s easy to slip into judgmental thinking without even realising it, by quietly critiquing others’ choices, behaviours, or appearance in our minds.
Just the other day, I caught myself doing that very thing.
When unchecked, this internal habit can become a barrier to compassion, humility, and true meekness.
Passing judgment often starts as a whisper in our thoughts.
It might seem insignificant, a fleeting observation of someone else’s shortcomings or differences.
However, these seemingly small judgments, left unaddressed, can build up over time, shaping how we view and interact with others.
Worse, they can become so ingrained that we may not even recognise when we’re doing it.
Our perceptions of others become clouded by preconceived ideas, biases and crazy notions, which can erode our ability to extend love and understanding.
To counter this, it’s vital to actively constantly cultivate self-awareness.
Just as we try to monitor our words and actions, we must also be mindful of our thoughts.
A helpful practice is to pause when a critical thought arises.
Ask yourself: “Why am I thinking this? Is it rooted in compassion, or is it a reflexive judgment?”
By catching these thoughts in the moment, we can prevent them from taking root and influencing our attitudes.
More importantly, we need to replace judgment with empathy.
We are each on a unique journey in life, filled with struggles, difficulties, and stories we may never fully understand.
I believe when we shift our focus from judgment to empathy, we can begin to respond with kindness and support, rather than criticism.
We can remind ourselves that, just as we desire grace for our own imperfections, others deserve the same grace.
I am more committed than ever to avoiding the silent habit of judgment.
It requires constant vigilance, self-reflection, and intentionality.
By staying mindful of my thoughts and striving to replace judgment with empathy, I hope to become more mindful of my interactions, seeing the best in others and focusing on love rather than faults.
How can you prevent judgmental thoughts entering your mind?

A snapshot of joy

Laughter is one of the most powerful and life-affirming experiences we can have.
And so it was as Ali, and I, visited my mum on Friday evening.
As we sat together, reminiscing about old times, sharing stories, something spontaneous happened that turned a quiet moment into one of pure joy: we started laughing.
At the end of our visit, we simply decided to take a picture together.
For some reason, the very suggestion sent us all into fits of laughter.
It wasn’t the idea of the picture itself, but rather the delightful simplicity of the moment that made us chuckle, giggle and laugh until our sides hurt.
Earlier in our visit we’d talked about some health concerns, yet as the laughter began, it was in many ways a form of release—a way to break free from the weight of life’s burdens, even just for those special few moments.

Wellbeing

Our visit with my 89-year-old mum reminded me of just how essential laughter is to our well-being, offering a connection to joy even in times of challenging health.
In her lifetime, I know mum has witnessed challenges and joys, yet in our moment of laughter together, it served as a bridge between the past and present, reminding us that life, at its core, is about finding joy in the little things.
For each of us, that moment wasn’t just about taking a picture, but about capturing a memory of joy with the people we love, creating an even stronger bond that no words could truly express.
Reflecting on the shared experience with my mum and brother-in-law, I realise we weren’t just laughing at the idea of taking a picture, but at the joy of being together, of being present in each other’s lives.

Joy

While also lifting our spirits and lightening our loads, it was a celebration of love, family, and togetherness, all wrapped up in 𝒂 𝒔𝒏𝒂𝒑𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒕 𝒐𝒇 𝒋𝒐𝒚, through the healing power of a good laugh.
Let’s not to take life too seriously and cherish those fleeting moments of joy that come from simply serving and being with the people we deeply love.
There is a time to have fun, laugh, play, learn and serve together.
Dale G. Renlund said: “To effectively serve others we must see them… through Heavenly Father’s eyes.
Only then can we begin to comprehend the true worth of a soul. Only then can we sense the love that Heavenly Father has for all His children.”
Looking upon my mum as a child of God, being able to laugh with her, and as we ministered to her, we felt a healing and strengthening warmth that will last forever.
Why is it important to be able to laugh at ourselves?

Is it time to move on?

Recognising that you’ve outgrown something—whether it’s a job, relationship, hobby, or even a lifestyle—can be a challenging but necessary step in personal growth.

I find we hold onto familiar things out of comfort or fear of the unknown.

Yet, life is constantly evolving, and outgrowing certain aspects of it is a natural part of this journey.

As a coach, I’ve discovered that there are some tell-tale signs that it’s time to move on.

Stagnation and Lack of Growth

One of the most common signs that you’ve outgrown something is a feeling of stagnation.

You’re no longer learning, evolving, or feeling challenged in a meaningful way, manifesting itself as boredom or frustration.

At work for instance, you might find that your tasks have become monotonous, with no opportunities for advancement or development.

Or in a relationship, it could feel like there is no deeper connection or emotional growth happening.

If you feel stagnant, it’s time to re-evaluate your goals.

Ask yourself what you really want to achieve and whether your current situation is helping you get there.

Set new goals that challenge you, and make small steps toward them.

It could mean seeking a new job, learning new skills, or communicating openly with others about what you need for growth in relationships.

Consistent Frustration or Unhappiness

When you’ve outgrown something, feelings of frustration, dissatisfaction, or even resentment often start to surface.

You may feel like you’re stuck or wasting your potential.

In relationships, this can manifest as constant arguments or feeling emotionally drained.

In a career, it can feel like you’re simply going through the motions without any real fulfilment.

If you consistently feel unhappy, it’s important to acknowledge your feelings.

My favourite is journaling, I know it can help you reflect on what’s causing these emotions.

Or with the help of a coach or friend, identify whether the frustration stems from something you can change within your current situation, or whether it’s time to move on entirely.

You may need to set boundaries or have tough conversations, or it could be time to explore new opportunities that align more with your values and passions.

You Feel Disconnected

Another sign is a growing sense of disconnection.

Things that once brought you joy, excitement, or passion may now feel empty.

You might feel like you just don’t belong.

Take time to reconnect with yourself by engaging in self-reflection and mindfulness.

Spend time figuring out what excites and energises you now.

This could mean rediscovering old passions or trying new activities.

If you feel disconnected from a social group or relationship, it may be time to seek out new connections that resonate more with who you’ve become.

Your Values or Priorities Have Changed

As we grow, our values and priorities often shift.

You may start to realise that what once mattered most no longer aligns with your current beliefs or goals.

This could happen with friendships, jobs, or even personal habits.

For instance, a career path that once seemed ideal might no longer align with your desire for work-life balance or personal fulfilment.

When your values change, it’s crucial to realign your life accordingly.

Begin by making a list of your current priorities and values.

What’s truly important to you now?

Once you have clarity on these, you can begin making decisions that align with your new values.

This might mean changing careers, pursuing more meaningful hobbies, or prioritising different relationships.

You Daydream About Something New

If you frequently find yourself daydreaming about a different job, relationship, or lifestyle, it could be a clear sign that you’ve outgrown your current situation.

These daydreams often reflect unmet desires or unfulfilled potential.

Rather than dismiss these thoughts, explore them further.

What is it that you’re yearning for?

Is it adventure, creativity, a deeper connection, or more freedom?

Once you’ve identified your desires, start taking concrete steps toward making those dreams a reality.

Research new opportunities, network with people who are in fields or lifestyles that interest you, or create a plan to gradually transition into something new.

In Conclusion

Outgrowing something is a natural part of life, and while it can feel unsettling, it’s also an opportunity for growth and renewal.

A coach can help you along your way.

By recognising the signs—stagnation, unhappiness, disconnection, shifting values, and daydreaming—you can take proactive steps to move forward.

Whether it’s setting new goals, engaging in self-reflection, or seeking new challenges, the key is to embrace change and create a life that aligns with your current self.

If you’re in that space now, message me, I’m happy to listen and help…

 

Are you dependable?

In life, one value stands out as a true game-changer: dependability.
Whether it’s at work, in friendships, or in family relationships, being dependable builds trust and strengthens bonds.
So, what does it mean to be dependable, and why is it so important?
On returning home from Belgium and the Netherlands recently, we needed some help with some home repairs.
I explained the situation to my bother in law Ali, along with another friend Tony and they promised to come along one day, when I’d hire a ladder.
The duly appointed Thursday arrived.
What would have happened after all the planning, costs and arrangements if they were nowhere to be found?
How do you think that would have made me feel?
Probably frustrated, let down, or even hurt.
Now – flip that around!
The duly appointed Thursday arrived.
Both Ali and Tony arrived early, we worked on around six projects inside and outside, completed all the work in a timely manner and had a bit of fun too!
The cost of their labour – I treated them to lunch from the local bakery!
The priceless message was this – I could count on them!
If you make a commitment – do you live up to it?
Dependability isn’t just about keeping promises—though that’s a big part of it!
It’s also about consistency, reliability and responsibility.
At work, being dependable means your team can trust that you’ll meet deadlines and complete tasks to the best of your ability.
In friendships and relationships, dependability is key to forming meaningful, deep, lasting connections.
When people know they can trust you, it strengthens the connections between you.
So, ask yourself: are you dependable?
If the answer is yes, you’re already on the path to success.
If not, don’t beat yourself up too much, dependability is something you can build.
Start today by making small pledges and keeping them and watch how it positively impacts every part of your life.
Can you be counted on?

Values

Is it time to evaluate your values?
Some of my favourite coaching questions are simply these…
“What do you want?”
“What is important to you?”
“How do you want to live your life?”
“What do you enjoy doing?”
Take time to reflect upon your personal values…
Don’t live somebody else’s!
Be you!
Be mindful of what values are driving your life and look out for the illusion of ownership.
As each year passes by, I have become increasingly aware of the illusion of ownership and the world’s pre-occupation with it.
Oftentimes, I reflect on the fact we were born into this life with nothing, during our journey through life we exercise our greatest gift of free agency, (the right to choose), and with the exception of our memories and experiences we depart this mortal life with nothing.
Consider a few words – pride, envy, fear, stress, frustration.
Now think about the cause and effect of these words.
Remove the idea of ownership and the foundational characteristic of each of these words collapses.
As we understand the reality of stewardship and apply the principle in our home, family and business life, we can replace these characteristics with their polar opposites – humility, empathy, courage, peace, fulfilment.
By living our values – everything else falls into place.
What does the word “values” mean to you personally?

Leadership Behaviours

In my experience the greatest leaders – exemplify all of these behaviours…
Kindness – Patience – Meekness – Humility – Honesty – Forgiving – Commitment – Respectful – Selfless – Obedience – Purposeful.
These are the true qualities, virtues, characteristics and principles of servant or values-based leadership.
They are the very roots of civility, homes and organisations the world over.
There is something reassuring about standing for something and knowing what we stand for.
Those who commit to and pattern their lives on these principles, will always flourish.
What do you stand for?
They may sound old fashioned and to some, even namby pamby, but quite the opposite is true – these are virtues of courage and authority.
Practising them individually and collectively will be a powerful antidote to a multitude of ills & societal problems.
Why not perform a simple act of kindness today.
You won’t regret it; in fact, I believe you will make someone smile.

Authenticity – the courage to be yourself

“That’s just not right…let me explain further…” I said to my fellow judges.

Sales Awards

Many years ago, on a number of occasions, after being a shortlisted awards finalist and runner-up myself, I was invited to be a judge on the National Sales Awards in the UK. The key part of the role was to attend an annual judging day, at a swanky hotel in London. There, all the shortlisted candidates would attend to be judged. Individuals and teams would be interviewed and considered one by one, by a small judging panel of sales industry experts in order to be considered for an award. Yes – I was classified as an expert – please don’t laugh!!

Interviews

I recall, one year when a sales team gave a very impressive presentation, it was outstanding. My fellow judges remarked on how fresh and striking it was. I quizzed the team intensely on their efforts, their preparations and quite unique ideas, seeking clarification on how they came up with the concept and how they’d developed it into a presentation for the day.

They shared their story.

Outcome

Yet, unbeknownst to the sales team, I had been a judge 2 years previously in the corresponding category, where a sales team from the same company, had given the exact, identical presentation. Something my fellow judges had thought was fresh and unique, was in fact a rehash of some ideas shared previously.  Yes the presentation was outstanding, but the responses given by the sales team to my questions left me with a rather sour taste. Something wasn’t quite right, I felt we were in a sense being deceived, being played even.  That’s when I then explained to my fellow judges, why I’d questioned the team so directly,  seeking clarification, the way I had.

After all that was said and done, the judging panel determined that the team wouldn’t make the special awards evening a few months later.  Why?… Simply because they lacked genuine authenticity.

It was a powerful lesson learned for all, about the nature of truth and how it sets you free.

Never dissemble.

Authenticity is everything!  It is the power to be yourself.

Touched

The energy in the room was high.

Then in a reflective moment one participant shared “I can relate to that” and tears started to flow freely.

The atmosphere changed.

We had already created a psychologically safe environment for sharing that day, but then the authenticity in the room soared to a different level.

Attentively, everyone focused on the personal story being shared.

It was a moment of high emotion and an intimate turning point in the workshop.

In opening up in such a manner the participant had taken a great risk in approaching a vulnerable area in their life by sharing it so deeply.

The silence was palpable.

Unwittingly, by speaking so candidly and tenderly, the participant had completely engaged everyone in the room.

Then it happened.

I watched, as those on either side felt impressed to reach out in a compassionate and reassuring way by physically touching our storyteller.

The whole experience had a profound effect on all of us in the room.

There was a feeling of connection, togetherness and unity for a fleeting moment in time.

Deep and meaningful learning moments come quite unexpectedly at times.

When they do, don’t be afraid to welcome them, gently explore them, embrace them and cherish them….forever.

Can you reach out and touch someone today?