Tag Archive for: slow down

Reading the Room

Some years ago, I was sat in a room in a hi-powered negotiation for a major multi-million-pound contract for the company I was working for.
Discussions, pricing, and contract negotiations had been going on for several weeks.
It was time for our final meeting to agree the contract.
I’ll never forget that meeting, as I did something I’d never done before.

And so it began…

It was immediately evident that they were trying very hard to undo some of our previous agreements to find a more satisfactory arrangement for their company.
I had prepared well for the negotiation and was aware of any concessions that could be made.
Having been through many negotiations before, I knew the importance of being able to read the room, by listening for facts, details, or any signals and feelings that could arise.
Tuning in, I felt the vibe was different than our previous meetings.
I recall the body language, the vocal tones, raised eyebrows, the fleeting smiles and even frowns that day.
Those tiny facial micro expressions helped me to read between the lines, the nuances of what was being said, clues if you will, as to what was actually going on, that helped me to understand the dynamics in the room and individual emotional states.
Essentially, it was about trying to figure out or understand how the others in the room were thinking, without them actually saying something.
I worked hard to mirror and match the energy and tone of the others in order to connect with them.

Tactics

The lead negotiator from the other side was trying very hard to squeeze me on price by another 2% (read tens of thousands of pounds) and were in a hurry to close out the contract negotiations and give me the contract that day.
The win-win for us both, was becoming a win-lose for me.
It just felt-off.
They were keen for me to shake hands and sign the deal.

Now what?

Looking around the room, taking a deep breath, boldly and risking all, I thanked them for their time, closed my folder, packed up and left.
The negotiation was over.
Within an hour, they called me.
The additional 2% demand was removed, I signed, and we agreed the contract.
Whether it’s a presentation to a large audience, or an important meeting or negotiation, be mindful of reading the room.
It takes a little practice, but stop, look and listen for those non-verbal clues, they’re always there.
How can you “read the room” better?

Everyday Items

As we began our Social Media Leadership Council (SMLC) yesterday, we did a fun learning activity to start our session.

In keeping with a message, I heard yesterday from my friends at the We Believe App, “How can you see more of the Saviour in the world around you today?” – we engaged in our activity together.

I invited everyone in the meeting to wander around the mission office for a couple of minutes, select a random article and return.

Items

Each of them duly returned with their objects in hand as follows:

A Lint Remover (Defuzzer)
An empty metal container
A wheel of fortune
A can of Mexican beans
An umbrella
A bright floral lei
A magnifying glass
A plastic toy gun
A statue

I gave them a couple of minutes to think about how they could see things from a different perspective and use the object to teach a gospel principle – admittedly some objects were easier than others!

Lessons

What followed were some amazing object lessons on principles of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Here are a few examples I can remember from memory.

A lint remover is like the atonement of Jesus Christ by removing spots and blemishes from our lives.

In order to benefit from the nourishment in the can of beans, we need to open it up, just like we need to open up the scriptures to benefit from the spiritual nutrition found therein.

A magnifying glass – God magnifies all of our efforts as we focus on Him.

An umbrella can protect us on rainy days, just like the holy ghost who protects us from many things.

The wheel of fortune – sometimes we don’t know what will happen next, we have a limited view, but as we move forward with small steps, trusting in God, things are better.

And so it went on…

Let everyday items bring to mind the wonderful promises of Jesus Christ.

Take time today to notice Him in the small moments of life, which you may not have seen before.

His creations are all around us and everything can be connected to Him.

How do you find Jesus Christ in the everyday things that you do?

Anxious About Something?

Everyone will experience anxiety feelings from time to time – its a normal human emotion!
However – “too much anxious opening of the oven door and the cake falls instead of rising. So it is with us. If we are always selfishly taking our own temperatures to see if we are happy, we will not be.” – Neal A Maxwell.
So – what can I do to change?
In recent coaching discussions and from experience – its wise to slow down a little and pay close attention to what you’re thinking!
Doubtful, fearful, negative, unrealistic, or self-critical thoughts can trigger anxiety.
Stop what you’re doing for a while, sit still, close your eyes, and breathe deeply.
Make a firm commitment to focus on healthy, positive, determined and realistic thinking.
What can you do to leave the oven door closed today?

Lingering

It started last Saturday with a tickle in my throat.
By Sunday morning, speaking in Hengelo, I had turned into an excellent bass.
By Monday, I was in bed for a whole day to get some rest.
Then all week long, despite my best efforts, to get rid of this sore throat, it has lingered.
My best friends have been an array of products and remedies including: Hot water with honey, oranges, fresh orange juice, lots of water, Strepsils, tissues, Vicks Menthol Rub, an inhaler, multivitamins, paracetamol, ibuprofen and finally, as much rest as I can get!
And thank you too for all the tips!
Sadly, yesterday, we had to postpone a visit from some good friends. I still wasn’t right.
Coughing and spluttering, have lingered with me all week.
𝐋𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: “lasting for a long time or to be slow in parting or slow to act.”
This sore throat is lingering, like a… lingering thing!
Some things seem to linger.
Do you find yourself lingering at times, in places, with friends or even online?
It fascinates me when our missionaries are in any gathering together, they love to linger!
They’re friends after all, and they can’t get enough of lingering.
The toughest part is to encourage them to depart and return to their areas.
Yet, who has time to linger in this busy frantic world we live in?
Do you fit lingering into your daily schedule?
I know that something really special can happen in our relationship with Jesus Christ when we value lingering in His presence.
Every morning before you plunge yourself into the activities of your day, take time to linger with Him.
Psalms 27:14 reads “Wait on the Lord; be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart; wait I say on the Lord.”
In spending more time in prayer, I’m rediscovering the power of lingering.
Prayer is personal, its about communing, thanking, asking, listening, waiting and now I’d add lingering.
Jesus Christ always welcomes those who linger.
And those who linger with Jesus Christ, find that He lingers with them.
If you are in any doubt, simply ask our missionaries – they love to linger!

Good things take time

Everything important in life takes time.
This week one of our missionaries Libby Wilcox, shared a thought with me – “𝒊𝒕 𝒕𝒂𝒌𝒆𝒔 𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆.”
It takes time – to learn a new language.
It takes time – to build new relationships.
It takes time – to listen.
It takes time – to talk.
It takes time – to graduate.
It takes time – to form a new habit.
It takes time – for a beautiful garden to blossom.
It takes time – to heal.
It takes time – to pray.
It takes time – to study the scriptures.
It takes time – to come to know Jesus Christ.
It takes time – to focus on things that matter most.
It’s taken time, precisely 36 days of the new year, to arrive at today.
Each of those days, Monic and I have tried harder to slow down and consider those things that matter most.
Talking, listening, encouraging, and sharing.
These things cannot be rushed, sometimes we fail.
They happen when we do things together, walk, travel, eat dinner, and by turning off any media so that we can focus on one another.
I invite you to be patient… meaning to actively wait and endure.
Take time to focus more on consistent and steady improvements in the way you work and in the way you live.
Slow and steady does win the race.
Remember Aesop’s fable of the Hare and the Tortoise.
The moral of the story is that you can be more successful by doing things slowly and steadily, by taking time, than by acting quickly and carelessly.
The race is not always to the swift.
What good things are you pursuing that take time?

“It made my day.”

Travelling has been a constant for us this week, with nights in Apeldoorn, Eindhoven and Gent.
We have met with lots of missionaries and young adults, held many interviews, given several presentations, and spoken in many meetings throughout Belgium and the Netherlands.
It has been a wonderful week and just a little busy too!
Despite all our busyness, one of my favourite moments of the week came, as Fernando Cervantes and I slowed down and took a walk in Apeldoorn on Friday morning.
As we started off on our walking interview together, we took a picture and recorded a voice message for Zachary Stoner and sent them off to him.
It was a silly little thing, but pausing for a moment, it just seemed like a fun thing to do.
It was Zachary Stoner’s last full day in the mission field and he and Fernando Cervantes had just been companions in Groningen together.
He responded to our message with “Thanks for sending that, it made my day!”
Choosing to slow down, just for a moment can make all the difference.
Seemingly insignificant small and simple things can and often do, make a huge difference, especially when practiced regularly.
One of my favourite scriptures is “Be still, and know that I am God” (Psalms 46:10)
It takes practice to be still, lots of it!
And I still have much to learn.
Yet, choosing to slow down, really helps!
“We would do well to slow down a little and focus on the significant and truly see the things that matter most.” – Dieter F. Uchtdorf.
I am really thankful that we slowed down and felt the joy of that little moment together.
What can you do to slow down and enjoy the present moment?

Medium…

𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐣𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐨𝐝𝐚𝐲?
Monic and I love to take walks through Leidschendam.
The length of our walk is generally determined by the amount of time we have allocated to exercise in our daily routines.
We have identified three routes.
Short – 20 minutes
Medium – 40 minutes
Long – 1 hour
Our morning conversation usually goes something like this.
“Is it short, medium or long today?”
Yesterday, we decided the “medium” walk was in order.
We then put in the necessary effort to make the journey.
As usual, we enjoyed our walk together.
Talking, observing, laughing, sharing and planning.
Regularly we are surprised how very few people we see out walking.
Oftentimes, we will complete our walks without meeting a soul.
Yesterday we especially enjoyed seeing and hearing the green parakeets. There were about 10 of them and they like to make a lot of noise.
In addition, we loved seeing many little ducklings.
Slowing down allows us to see, feel and hear different things.
It is during our walks that I notice many simple moments are filled with a sense of connection and peace.
Why is that we miss so many moments in our own life?
Is it that there are always more busy thoughts that preoccupy our minds?
It’s time to slow down.
Where will your journey lead today?

Slow Down.

Did you miss anything?
Every day, I try to learn a new Dutch verb and place it in a sentence using the different tenses.
Today’s verb was “haasten” – to hurry.
For a short moment, as I practiced the tenses out loud, I laughed a little.
One of my key messages over the last few months, including yesterday, is the complete opposite – to 𝐒𝐋𝐎𝐖 𝐃𝐎𝐖𝐍!
We often move too fast.
One route into our home here in the Netherlands, brings us along a road with several speed bumps.
For the optimum experience, I have learned that is it best to reduce my speed, slow down and steady my course.
It is a simple, but critical lesson to learn.
We all know the uncomfortable consequences of a high-speed journey over a speed bump!
I have concluded that speeding up isn’t the answer.
And so, it is with life.
Choosing to slow down, over obstacles and challenges in life is the answer.
In addition, for a much deeper examination of a course of study or to give consideration to a particular challenge, spend a little more time exploring by slowing down.
It will in the long run allow you to speed up elsewhere.
It takes effort.
Sometimes great effort, to catch ourselves and slow down.
My experience… slowing down helps to prevent you from missing anything!
How will you slow down today?

Cullen Skink

“President, you look a little tired, you should take a 10-minute nap!”
She was right.
These last few days, with the really hot days and sticky nights, I hadn’t slept too well.
And yesterday, it really started to catch up with me.
Arriving home from the office around 4.30pm, I lay down on the bed and didn’t take just 10 minutes but enjoyed nearly a full hour.
It was bliss.
Walking downstairs and into the living room, Monic said…“Feeling better, are you ready to eat now?”
A few moments later, a hearty bowl of Cullen Skink soup was served up for dinner.
Monic loves to make it. And we love to eat it!
Cullen Skink is a traditional Scottish soup made of fish (traditionally smoked haddock), potatoes, onions/leek and cream.
It was absolutely delicious.
The nap rebooted my brain!
The soup rebooted my body!
Refreshed, Recharged, Revitalized and Ready to go – the evening turned out to be a breeze.
What happens when you take a nap?

Under Pressure?

Under pressure? Feeling stressed? A lot on your plate?

Usually, our first thoughts are to dig deep, work harder and grind through the challenge at hand.

Top Personal Coaching Tip – 𝐏𝐮𝐬𝐡 𝐁𝐚𝐜𝐤!

……And counter those feelings with an opposing action.

It’s a simple thing, but remember to take a break for 15 minutes or longer.

Take a walk, stretch, meditate, breathe, relax, get some fresh air, in other words slow down and be still.

Enjoy the scenery!

I did!

Allowing yourself some mental and emotional freedom from all the pressure, with meaningful slacking time, 𝒂𝒍𝒘𝒂𝒚𝒔 has great rewards.

Oftentimes, that’s when the laughter kicks in!