Tag Archive for: mentoring


๐“๐ก๐จ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐š๐ง๐๐ฌ ๐จ๐Ÿ ๐ฆ๐ข๐ฅ๐ž๐ฌ ๐Ÿ๐ซ๐จ๐ฆ ๐ก๐จ๐ฆ๐ž…
For eighteen months or two years, thousands of 18 โ€“ 26 young men and women leave their homes voluntarily and at their own expense, to serve a mission in far off lands for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
Later today, we will receive another five, who will serve in Belgium and the Netherlands for a season, namely: Kiera Wadsworth, Grace Warner, Brigitta Broadbent, Pedro Jalo and Ian Schwab.
Each of them will serve thousands of miles from home.
It is viewed as an exciting adventure, with an instant network of friends to help them adjust to their home away from home.
It is in their homes that they will have learned the values by which will guide their lives.
I know too that homes are places where lifeโ€™s greatest lessons are learned and taught.
Yet now, they will be learning, living and working in a completely different cultural environment from their experience of home life so far.
Overcoming the language barrier can also make it difficult at times.
It is the daunting reality of missionary life.

Yet โ€“ they are ๐ฎ๐ง๐๐š๐ฎ๐ง๐ญ๐ž๐.

Each of them arrives with their luggage, containing only a few physical possessions.
They are however, armed with a deep-rooted desire, faith, and hope as they individually embark upon their period of missionary service.
Theirs is a mission of love and service.
Empathising, both Monic and I are constantly trying to put ourselves back in their shoes.
Itโ€™s 30+ years since we both served respectively, far from home.
As Mission leaders and mentors, we have many roles, including to provide a bit of a pick-me-up when things are challenging.
Frequently, we help missionaries to see the big picture and how theyโ€™re making progress.
For missionaries, knowing that someone cares about their personal well-being and believes in them can help them deal with the umpteenth โ€œrainyโ€ day on their mission.
And then, before they know it, like a few in the picture below, their time is over.
Its transfer day today.
It means much change throughout the mission to accommodate those arriving and departing.
With a heart filled with love, we bid farewell to our dear friends who are returning home in the next few days Julia Hyer, Nefi Regalado, Harrison Wright and Rafe Baldwin.
Mission accomplished, as they return home with honour.
What has been your experience living thousands of miles away from home?

So, you want to be a mentor?

“So you want to improve your ๐ฆ๐ž๐ง๐ญ๐จ๐ซ๐ข๐ง๐  skills” I asked. “Yes indeed” came the reply.
This week, I have spent a lot of time in 1-1 sessions, helping individual mentors improve their mentoring skills.
Here are my ๐ญ๐จ๐ฉ ๐Ÿ๐ŸŽ ๐ญ๐ข๐ฉ๐ฌ for guidance.
  • ๐‹๐ข๐ฌ๐ญ๐ž๐ง with compassion, empathy and understanding โ€“ Deep or Active Listening.
  • ๐€๐ฌ๐ค ๐๐ฎ๐ž๐ฌ๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ, be curious, seek clarity, probe, ask why and help each mentee to ask questions of themselves.
  • ๐‚๐ก๐š๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ž๐ง๐ ๐ž – move their learning from their comfort zone to their stretch zone.
  • Give of your ๐“๐ข๐ฆ๐ž, frequently, consistently, intimately, 1-1
  • Be fully ๐๐ซ๐ž๐ฌ๐ž๐ง๐ญ. When you meet, create a psychologically safe space, and ensure there are no distractions.
  • Storytelling. Share your experiences that helped you succeed. Bring your stories to life.
  • Make a ๐๐ฅ๐š๐ง, set objectives and begin with the end in mind.
  • Provide ๐’๐ฎ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐จ๐ซ๐ญ & ๐„๐ง๐œ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ๐š๐ ๐ž๐ฆ๐ž๐ง๐ญ to your mentee to push through difficult challenges. Be a trusted sounding board.
  • ๐€๐๐ฏ๐ข๐ฌ๐ž & ๐‘๐ž๐Ÿ๐ซ๐š๐ฆ๐ž โ€“ make suggestions, offer different perspectives to help a mentee become unstuck through self-reflection.
  • Give ๐‚๐จ๐ซ๐ซ๐ž๐œ๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง & ๐ˆ๐ง๐ฌ๐ญ๐ซ๐ฎ๐œ๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง from time to time, to avoid potential pitfalls.

“How did you get into coaching then…?”

Recently I have been asked several times…”So Daryl, just how did you get into coaching and mentoring”?
Here’s my story.
In 2001, I was busy with a young family, an active sales career and a challenging, but enjoyable church assignment as a Bishop in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. All three combined gave me an incredible insight into working with people of all ages in a wide range of circumstances.
My sales career was progressing well and I very much enjoyed talking to people and building trusting relationships. That said, I also enjoyed the many counselling sessions I’d have with church members. In both situations, I was being called upon regularly to give presentations and lead many training sessions on a range of leadership topics. Subsequently, I determined to enrol at night school at my local college embarking upon a CIPD – Certificate in Training Practice. It was one evening per week for several months. I loved it! Below is my graduation photo – wow I was young!
As the years have rolled by, my focus shifted towards coaching, facilitation and training, gaining further Diploma’s and qualifications along the way. I then set up my own consultancy back in 2014. I am so grateful too for my wife Monic’s constant words of encouragement and support throughout – that has always made a huge difference.
My advice, get all the education you can! Get at it, work at it, study hard and go for it!

One by One

Over the last 30 + years, I have had many opportunities, with 1000’s of individuals to provide coaching, counselling or to share in a mentoring session together.

There are numerous articles, suggestions, models and books outlining what makes a great coaching conversation. In addition, I have also contributed to many discussions in lots of forums on the topic too.

I was however recently reminded again of a blindingly obvious point, it is this – simply stated, these conversations happen ๐™ค๐™ฃ๐™š ๐™—๐™ฎ ๐™ค๐™ฃ๐™š.

Intimate one by one conversations enable the most effective and powerful opportunities for change to occur. Giving someone your undivided attention for 30, 60 or even 90 minutes creates a powerful, meaningful, candid and insightful crucible for change. It is distraction free time.

Frequently, during these one by one moments a “reality check” occurs for the coachee. Indeed, a coaching conversation is perhaps the most personal and powerful form of communication and change that there is.

If you want change to happen, then you need to slow down, make time, listen to understand and consider the power of a coaching conversation, ๐™ค๐™ฃ๐™š ๐™—๐™ฎ ๐™ค๐™ฃ๐™š.

Who will you hold a coaching conversation with today?