It is easy to compare what we have, our jobs, lifestyles, talents and abilities to those of others.
We live in a world filled with constant comparison.
Frequently in coaching or counselling sessions, I have discovered that this can lead to feelings of discouragement or even depression as individuals match their worst with others best.
I find it even more prevalent in Generation Z. Their screen time tends to be much greater than others, scrolling endlessly, comparing themselves to carefully curated idealised images of their friends, peers and celebrities they follow. There has a lot been said of social comparsion theory of late, it certainly is interesting to review. It was first put forth in 1954 by psychologist Leon Festinger, who hypothesized that we make comparisons as a way of evaluating ourselves.
Over the years, I have learned a lot about the #1 Rule of Happiness…. 𝑫𝒐𝒏’𝒕 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇 𝒕𝒐 𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒔.
Instead, why not appreciate all you were born with!
Compare you with you and focus on developing the inherent gifts, skills and traits that you are lucky enough to have. No one else can equally provide what you have to offer the world and to those around you.
Remember – you are unique!
These last few weeks I have really enjoyed reading my journals.
Whilst doing so, I was reminded of a little story that I’d love to share.
Before we hastily return to our pre-lockdown life, please consider these three principles that have helped me considerably.
4 days, 21 workshops, 600+ participants, great fun, powerful learning and one absolutely exhausted me! I loved it!
Facilitating so many short workshops over the course of a few days called for a huge amount of focus, concentration and stamina. Not only was it difficult and challenging, it was extremely worthwhile.
In every 55 minute workshop, I was completely and totally absorbed in the whole process, I was in “the zone.” Reflecting this morning, the following thoughts came to mind..
– Being present, in the moment
– Clear goals, immediate feedback and real purpose
– A very high level of concentration on a limited field
– Finding a balance between skills and challenge
– The feeling of control – Effortlessness
– An altered perception of time
– At one with my actions and consciousness
– Feelings of fulfillment and enjoyment
Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi calls this “Flow.”
Do you recognise any of these feelings? Have you ever felt that kind of joy, happiness or “flow”?
It was fast paced, using an outline agenda, I sang “Set a Goal” – taking everyone by surprise, there was always applause, I shared thoughts and ideas, I pulled participants into conversation, sought feedback, had discussion groups and an engaging activity to close.
I love what I do.
Find your Flow!