Honesty

A few months after Decimal Day (15 February 1971), walking home from my grandmothers home, I stumbled upon a great find on the roadside. Unbelievably it was £40 worth of new notes. It was my lucky day! I guess I was around 6 years old at the time.

I shared the good news with my parents and they asked what I was going to do now? “Keep it” I exclaimed!

I can’t recall the exact words, but then came the teaching moment, “Is that the right thing to do?”

Shortly thereafter, the money was handed into “Lost & Found” at the local Police Station. Some weeks went by, lucky for me, no-one claimed the cash and I recall the money was invested in a bicycle!

As a parent, I’ve experienced similar trips to the Police Station with our children.

This was a great lesson learned for me as a child.

Choosing honesty that day, brought a warm fuzzy feeling inside, one I’ve never forgotten. It was the right thing to do, bringing peace of mind and self respect.

From Proverbs in the Old Testament we read “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”

Finally, as Carlyle said: “Make yourself an honest man, and then you may be sure there is one rascal less in the world.”

How important is honesty to you?

Small steps everyday

Stuck in a rut? Feeling a bit flat? Every day just feels the same? Not getting anywhere? Is it Thursday or Friday? Life feels dull & boring?

I’m certain many of us are feeling like that right now. I know, because its been confirmed in many recent coaching conversations!

Yesterday, whilst out on a walk with my daughter, trudging laboriously through the snow to Tesco (a highlight of the day), the underfoot conditions made it very difficult just to even put one foot in front of another at times. Yes, it can be tough! Yet, small steps helped.

So, what can we do about it?

I know there is a great power in establishing good 𝐡𝐚𝐛𝐢𝐭𝐬 and 𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬. However, right now lets change things around a bit!

There is great power in the old phrase “𝐯𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐭𝐲 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞.”

Start by looking for ways to add different experiences to your day and take that first small step and then a few more.

Make some new plans, have some fun, help others, try something new, be spontaneous, call friends, take that walk, volunteer, exercise, journal! Above all – take action! Go and do!

What variety of ideas have you tried recently?

Take a few small steps today!

Slowing down, to Speed up

On this chilly snow filled February morning, my thoughts turned to a memory from a few years ago. This is one of my favourite pictures of my son Kyle and I, just south of Provo, Utah on the western edges of the Rocky Mountains, in the Wasatch Front, April 2013. Waking up today, to our best snowfall of the year in Scotland, having a couple of these snowmobiles would have been really handy!

I recall those couple of days in Utah, in the middle of nowhere. Those snowmobiles were fast! Reaching speeds of up to 70 mph on snow filled meadows that seemed to go on forever, was great fun, exhilarating and terrifying all at the same time for the pair of us.

With today’s weather, it is very likely that I won’t get very far at all. Unlike those snowmobiles, equipped for the most challenging of winter weather, my ability to travel anywhere at speed today is likely to be limited to trudging through the snow on foot at best.

Like many of the storms we pass through in life, I have found that the direction we choose whilst travelling through them, is more important than any speed we attain.

Slow down and stay safe, wherever you are today.

How are you being finely-tuned?

Are you being 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐥𝐲-𝐭𝐮𝐧𝐞𝐝 ?

Over the last 2 days, I have spent nearly 8 hours each day on a brand new managing your team virtual learning programme. It has been a stretching experience, long hours, a few headaches and a little bit of pressure thrown in for good measure too. All that said it has been extremely insightful too.

Yesterday, as each of the virtual facilitators took it in turn to deliver a 75 minute section, we carefully listened and participated throughout the learning session. As each facilitator concluded their delivery, one by one, we took it in turns to provide feedback. It was a great experience to receive an in the moment peer review. I came away feeling as if I was being 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐥𝐲-𝐭𝐮𝐧𝐞𝐝 !

To fine-tune means: “to make small adjustments to (something) in order to achieve the best or a desired performance”

At the conclusion of the day, each of us thanked our virtual trainer for her guidance and assistance throughout. I came away feeling more prepared, more confident, more assured and primed ready to step up into action!

How are you preparing for your forthcoming assignments and how are you being 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐥𝐲-𝐭𝐮𝐧𝐞𝐝?

Are you going nowhere?

Are you going nowhere?

1 year ago, on February 1st 2020, I took delivery of my new car and was excited about the journeys ahead. Yesterday, it was back in the garage for it’s first annual service. In my 20’s and 30’s I’d be regularly driving 40,000 miles plus per year. In my 40’s & 50’s that reduced to circa 15,000 miles per year. This year, I’ve barely driven 5,000 miles and most of those were done in the first 8 weeks of ownership, pre-Covid19. Occasionally, I’ll go for a short spin, but never very far. The car passed it’s annual 40 point health check with flying colours, with tyres too that are hardly worn.

Most of the year, the car has been parked up outside, going nowhere.

Yet, just under the bonnet of the car, there is a powerful finely tuned engine, in prime condition ready to roar into action.

Similarly, there may have been days over these last few months when you’ve felt like you’re going nowhere. If you were to take your 40 point annual service health check, would you pass with flying colours, or are you feeling a little worn out?

If we want to roar into action, then we need to look after ourselves.
– Go out for a little walk (spin)
– Connect with others, listen and support
– Give of yourself
– Set a goal
– Eat well
Then you will be going somewhere!

Don’t Give Up!

Tuesday morning my brain was completely fried due to the complexity of a piece of virtual #facilitation.

“My, oh my, this is tortuous!” I thought.

Then came feelings of self doubt, fear, anxiety and a resignation that I simply couldn’t get my head around what was expected. I became a little grumpy….(well maybe a big bit!)

Consulting with a few other virtual facilitators, they felt exactly the same…(even more scary, and now even more grumpy too!)

I persevered.
Then I persevered a little more.
And still even more.

With a little more effort, a little more #patience, a little more #persistence and some practice & experimentation thrown in too for good measure, eventually…it started to make a little more sense.

By Wednesday afternoon, I’d cracked it! I was overcome with a huge sense of relief and started dancing around the living room.

This morning, as I get back online for the last rounds of the virtual facilitation, I am actually looking forward (and just a little excited too) about the day ahead. And I’ll have a bit of fun too!

Being taken of your comfort zone into your stretch zone, can be very painful at times – I can testify of that! Yet, strangely it also brings a great sense of accomplishment, once you achieve the goal.

Have you been stretched recently?

Unity

Joe Biden spoke last week on #unity. We all know that in society today, you don’t have to look very far to find disunity, disharmony and distrust.

Consider this story, shared by Barbara Lewis…

“A young boy visited his uncle, a lumberjack. At the lumber camp, the boy saw a huge tree standing alone on the top of a hill. He enthusiastically pointed the tree out to his uncle, saying, “Look at that big tree! It will make a lot of good lumber, won’t it?” His uncle looked down at the boy and shook his head. “No, son, that tree will not make a lot of good lumber. It might make a lot of lumber but not a lot of good lumber. When a tree grows off by itself, too many branches grow on it. Those branches produce knots when the tree is cut into lumber. The best lumber comes from trees that grow together in groves. The trees also grow taller and straighter when they grow together.”

Similarly, so it is with all of us.

We are better individuals, more useful timber, when we grow together, unified, rather than alone. Unity begins with you! With a common goal it is the glue that holds us all together.

We build unity when we serve others, showing that we genuinely care. Unity is a critical ingredient for harmony and success.

Let’s build unity and live without disputes among us.

Discovering your gifts.

A life time of coaching experience has helped me realise that each of us, possesses a unique set of gifts, talents and abilities. We are individuals.

Regularly as a coach, I review personality assessments in order to understand these unique characteristics. In fact one of the questions I ask every coachee I engage with directly is this, “Have you undertaken any assessments on your learning style, or personal style such as indicated by the Myers-Briggs type indicator, Belbin or other methods?”

There are many well respected and scientifically validated personality tests, including, Hogan (HPI), Marston (DISC), Schutz (FIRO-B), Kolb, Handy & Schein to name only a few. You may have taken one yourself. These tests are designed to help you understand yourself. Many coaches like me, must take time to understand and get their heads around different assessments to provide accurate feedback and insights for coachees.  These assessments all have their place.

Our gifts, talents, personalities and characteristics differ. Yet, I know that we can all excel at something. I have worked with remarkable lawyers, educators, businessmen, politicians, musicians and scientists.  It is in these personal 1-1, intimate coaching moments, that revelations can be encountered.

My experience of coaching conversations is this; latent gifts or talents are likely to be awakened and new discoveries made. Enjoy your journey!

Coaching in style!

Recently I was asked “Where is the best place for a coaching conversation?”
It made me think of all the many places I’ve held such a conversation.
Of late it has nearly always been on Zoom or Teams, but in this last year I’ve had many walking in parks or along the beach front. Other venues have included client offices, hotel receptions, restaurants, coffee shops, cafes, trains, planes, cars, taxis, corridors and many at home in my living room!
Coaching conversations can happen anywhere. However the best place is where your coachee feels safe, at ease and comfortable to share confidentially what is on their mind. Over the years, I have found it helpful too, to mix up the location, for instance by taking a walk in an open space. A change of scenery can help to change the dynamics of the conversation.
What is key is that both of you are present, in mind, body and spirit – you are really there….together!
Finally, the best place was the restaurant at Gleneagles Hotel, where my client also paid for a beautiful lunch!!

Expect the unexpected!

The unprecedented, unexpected, exceptional and unimaginable are the new norm. “When you look to the future in leadership, what must change, what do you see?” asked a course participant.
This is a huge question.
The world is rapidly changing at lightning speed.
Reflecting for a moment and considering all that is going on in the world my response was a simple one… “even more disruption and expect the unexpected. I believe that the key to future success for any leader will be self-awareness, purpose, authenticity, empathy, humility and knowing exactly what they want to become.”
As the world continues to spiral from one crisis to another, the question I am often asked is “what should we be teaching leaders now?”
Considering the unfolding events on the world stage in the last few days, I was drawn to an article by Boyd Matheson who stated that “setting personal interest aside to contemplate the greater good is the essence of leadership. Far too many leaders are obsessed with a different question “What is best for me?”” Instead, the true leader faced with momentous decisions asks “What is best for the people I lead?”
Consider your families, teams, and organisations today…”What is best for the people you lead?”