Forgetfulness!

“That’ll be £29.50 please.” “No problem” I replied…. And then it happened!

I checked my jacket pocket for my wallet, then my other pocket, then my trouser pockets. “What a plonker” I thought and confessed to the checkout operator, that I’d forgotten my wallet. She laughed. “Don’t worry about it, it happens all the time!” I laughed too. I realised I’d changed my winter jacket to a summer jacket and simply hadn’t put my wallet in my pocket. The shopping was set aside and I promised I’d be back in 20 minutes.

On arriving home, my wife was working in the garden. She looked at me quizzically and asked “where’s the shopping?” I responded “I forgot my wallet.” She burst out in laughter too!

Back to Tesco. I collected the frozen products, back to the same checkout, paid my £29.50 and we laughed together a little more…

Almost all of us do thoughtless, impulsive silly things, sometimes through a simple oversight. In fact, blunders are not only an acceptable part of life, but they may even be very helpful. Mistakes frequently help us learn and grow. My experience is that past failures may be guideposts to future success!

Thank you Tesco for helping me see the funny side of my little gaffe and for the good laugh too!

Pranks!

Siblings can be annoying at times, right? (I guess I can be too sometimes – LOL!) Challenging behaviour isn’t only limited to siblings, but work colleagues and others too. Here’s one solution that worked for me!
Visiting the beach in summertime was a regular occurrence in our family. It was a short train ride to the beach at Kinghorn. Arriving at the station, we’d walk down the steep slope and then create many fond childhood memories on the beach together, sandcastles, swimming, ice cream, games – the whole shebang.
I recall one particular trip, my big brother was even more annoying than usual with his pranks. As time passed by that day, in a moment of playfulness, I hatched a master-plan. Along the beachfront, I went hunting for a starfish (he didn’t like them). After finding one, I searched for my brother. I managed to sneak up on him, starfish in hand, yet at the last moment, he saw me coming and he took off! I took aim and threw the starfish at my brother. And then, the moment of real joy, with its strong glue like suction pads it fastened itself to my brothers back! The terror on my brothers face was a delight to behold!!
The moral of the story, well that’s debatable! I’m sure you’ll find your own. For me, sometimes its best to reprove with sharpness and show an increase of love afterwards! 😍
What is your favourite prank?

Reflective learning

“So, what have you been learning about yourself through this last year…? I’ve asked that question so many times recently in coaching sessions. So, how about you……?
Consciously I make time for self reflection daily. Although it’s been a practice for a while, it has become much more meaningful during the last 12 months of the pandemic. Reflection has been described as a process that helps turn experience into knowledge. So, what are you learning?
Paradoxically, looking inwards, helps me to look outwards.
As you look in the mirror of self reflection, consider these questions:
…Am I using my time wisely?
…Am I living true to myself?
…What am I doing about the things that matter most in my life? …What do I need to change about myself?
…Have I made someone smile today?
It is so easy to get caught up in the daily vicissitudes of life.
Self-reflection is the key to help you understand what you stand for, what your values are, and in essence what matters most.
It’s a time to consider your behaviour, your goals and whether you are on track. The more self-reflective you are, the easier it becomes to make choices in line with your values which will impact all of your decisions now and in the future.
Our learning in life comes from our daily experiences, so take time to self-reflect, daily!

Authenticity – the courage to be yourself

“That’s just not right…let me explain further…” I said to my fellow judges.

Sales Awards

Many years ago, on a number of occasions, after being a shortlisted awards finalist and runner-up myself, I was invited to be a judge on the National Sales Awards in the UK. The key part of the role was to attend an annual judging day, at a swanky hotel in London. There, all the shortlisted candidates would attend to be judged. Individuals and teams would be interviewed and considered one by one, by a small judging panel of sales industry experts in order to be considered for an award. Yes – I was classified as an expert – please don’t laugh!!

Interviews

I recall, one year when a sales team gave a very impressive presentation, it was outstanding. My fellow judges remarked on how fresh and striking it was. I quizzed the team intensely on their efforts, their preparations and quite unique ideas, seeking clarification on how they came up with the concept and how they’d developed it into a presentation for the day.

They shared their story.

Outcome

Yet, unbeknownst to the sales team, I had been a judge 2 years previously in the corresponding category, where a sales team from the same company, had given the exact, identical presentation. Something my fellow judges had thought was fresh and unique, was in fact a rehash of some ideas shared previously.  Yes the presentation was outstanding, but the responses given by the sales team to my questions left me with a rather sour taste. Something wasn’t quite right, I felt we were in a sense being deceived, being played even.  That’s when I then explained to my fellow judges, why I’d questioned the team so directly,  seeking clarification, the way I had.

After all that was said and done, the judging panel determined that the team wouldn’t make the special awards evening a few months later.  Why?… Simply because they lacked genuine authenticity.

It was a powerful lesson learned for all, about the nature of truth and how it sets you free.

Never dissemble.

Authenticity is everything!  It is the power to be yourself.

Milestones

The last few weeks, several milestone birthdays have popped up on my social media alerts. 18, 21, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70 & 80 years old.

A milestone usually indicates a significant event in your life, that marks a momentous change of some sort. I have noticed that these milestone events can consequently impact upon us in all kinds of meaningful, exciting and challenging ways!

For starters, photos, videos, congratulations are shared ten fold, with a few embarrassing ones thrown in for good measure! From, my observations however, it has also seemed to stop a few friends in their tracks, as individually they seriously consider just what really matters most of all. Perhaps even more so for those who are hitting the higher numbers now!

I remember when I hit the big 50 a few years back. All of a sudden I became acutely aware of my mortality! I figured out in respect to time that I had much less to go on the earth, than I had already had! It is strange how that put things into perspective for me. Yes #timeflies!

What #milestones are approaching on the horizon for you?

And as the wings of time flutter on by, “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life”? – Mary Oliver

“How did you get into coaching then…?”

Recently I have been asked several times…”So Daryl, just how did you get into coaching and mentoring”?
Here’s my story.
In 2001, I was busy with a young family, an active sales career and a challenging, but enjoyable church assignment as a Bishop in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. All three combined gave me an incredible insight into working with people of all ages in a wide range of circumstances.
My sales career was progressing well and I very much enjoyed talking to people and building trusting relationships. That said, I also enjoyed the many counselling sessions I’d have with church members. In both situations, I was being called upon regularly to give presentations and lead many training sessions on a range of leadership topics. Subsequently, I determined to enrol at night school at my local college embarking upon a CIPD – Certificate in Training Practice. It was one evening per week for several months. I loved it! Below is my graduation photo – wow I was young!
As the years have rolled by, my focus shifted towards coaching, facilitation and training, gaining further Diploma’s and qualifications along the way. I then set up my own consultancy back in 2014. I am so grateful too for my wife Monic’s constant words of encouragement and support throughout – that has always made a huge difference.
My advice, get all the education you can! Get at it, work at it, study hard and go for it!

Friendships

I love this picture!  Look at our huge smiles. I can still remember, as if it were today, something subtle happening, that we were scarcely aware of – we all became friends, each of whom who have subsequently touched my life for good.

That day, the six of us made some powerful professional breakthroughs and connections in our own community of practice.  But above all, the part I cherish most of all, was the power of true friendship.

Friendship

Listening, laughing, understanding, being a little silly together and empathy were in all in evidence as we embarked upon a new journey in our work on extra-dependent teams.

“A friend is a priceless possession because a true friend is one who is willing to take us the way we are but is able to leave us better than he found us. We are poor when we lose friends because generally they are willing to reprove, admonish, love, encourage, and guide for our best good. A friend lifts the heavy heart, says the encouraging word, and assists in supplying our daily needs. As friends we will make ourselves available without delay to those who need us.” – Marvin J. Ashton

The photo was taken in Zurich, in December 2019, just a few weeks before the pandemic and lockdown.  Subsequently, the six of us have met by Zoom on several occasions.  Our conversations have been moments I hold dear, through what has been a challenging year.

Somehow these special moments of friendship seem to have a long shelf life, which I am so grateful for. They can sustain you even long after the moment has passed.

Good friends are a little like stars, you may not always see them, but you know they are there!

My conclusion – the only way to really have friends, is to be one yourself.

Go on, reconnect today.

Be Prepared

“Remind me again, what did he wear on the old scooter?” I asked mum, as we laughed together.

So, it was last night as we reminisced about dad’s scooter.  Growing up in Dunfermline in the late 1960’s I recall my dad in his train driver uniform leaving for work.  By the end of the 60’s all of the steam trains were replaced with diesel engines.  As the engines changed, dad also had to switch depots and ended up having to travel to Alloa for every shift, a round trip of 35 miles or so.  Dad never passed his driving test until the early 80’s, so every journey was made on his little scooter.

In the wintertime, the ride was not only treacherous on the old country roads of the time, but it was also a very cold one.  Before he set off for a night shift, on the chilliest of evenings, I recall dad padding and lining his jacket, sleeves, and trouser legs with old newspapers to lessen the biting winter cold and the piercing winds.  A simple old-fashioned way to stay warm, and his preparation was key.

A few years later as a young boy scout, I remember learning the motto of “be prepared”, which has remained as a constant with me throughout my life in all that I do.

Our world of 2021 is filled with uncertainty and I am sure for all of us, many more chilly and difficult nights are still ahead as we journey through the challenges life will bring.

So, are you ready for the next challenge and what can you do right now to be better prepared?

What is your strategy in life?

‘The essence of strategy is choosing what not to do’ says Michael Porter.

In August 1993, I met my future Dutch father in law, Bep for the first time. I learned a lot about him that day, including the fact that he was an avid chess player and amongst the top players in the local club in town. I’m a novice at best, but soon a challenge was issued. Out came the board, chess pieces and a clock too! I’d never even see a chess clock! Needless to say I was thrashed and humbled a few times that day.

Over many years of playing chess with Bep, I observed and learned much about him.

– he was methodical
– he valued time
– he planned carefully
– he was patient
– he anticipated
– he was exact

These characteristics were a pattern for his life. He was a highly skilled carpenter to trade and these qualities I presume were finely tuned over many years of practice.

Sadly, he is gone now.

I did manage a couple of wins over all the ensuing years and yet, I have never forgotten those powerful lessons he taught me.

The clock of life never stops ticking and each of us always needs to carefully consider our next move. What will yours be today?

Its time to laugh!

Sometimes when it gets really tough, perhaps in a challenging situation or conversation, the best remedy is simply to add in a touch of humour and laugh!

A guest speaker at a Yale University devotional took as his text the four letters ‘Y-A-L-E.’

“Y” he said “means youth” and he talked about that for 15 minutes.

“A” he continued, “stands for ambition” and that took another 15 minutes.

“L is for life,” another 15 minutes.

“E is for enthusiasm”… another 15 minutes to fill the hour.

As soon as the lecture was finished the students rushed to their classes as fast as they could go, all except one.

She knelt, apparently in prayer.

The speaker was deeply touched that he had so influenced at least one listener. He went down into the seats, touched the student on the shoulder and enquired why she was praying so earnestly. She lifted her face and said “I’m giving thanks that this is not the Massachusetts Institute of Technology!” 😅

If it’s a tough day ahead don’t forget to stop and have some fun too! 😊