Outgrown something?

What are the tell tale signs, when you know you have outgrown something?

Bored, unhappy, in the doldrums, not learning anything, its not fun anymore, it just doesn’t feel right, you’re coasting, you’re faultfinding, frustrations are rising, constantly checking for alternatives, there is no stretch anymore, you feel way too comfortable, there is little satisfaction, time just seems to drag, you’re not engaged…Inside you just know its time to move on and change.

All of the above? Some of the above?

Sounds or feels familiar? The signs are clear?

As a coach, I have listened to this tale on numerous occasions. In fact, I have lost count how many times.

So – what now?

Firstly, give it some real thought, ponder, reflect and revisit your goals – what do you want from life?

Secondly, speak to someone you trust. A partner, your boss, a colleague, a friend, perhaps even a coach. Share your thoughts, keep an open mind and explore opportunities together.

Outgrowing things happen. Listen to your intuition – you’ll know!

Finding Happiness!

It is easy to compare what we have, our jobs, lifestyles, talents and abilities to those of others.

We live in a world filled with constant comparison.

The result?

Frequently in coaching or counselling sessions, I have discovered that this can lead to feelings of discouragement or even depression as individuals match their worst with others best.

I find it even more prevalent in Generation Z. Their screen time tends to be much greater than others, scrolling endlessly, comparing themselves to carefully curated idealised images of their friends, peers and celebrities they follow. There has a lot been said of social comparsion theory of late, it certainly is interesting to review. It was first put forth in 1954 by psychologist Leon Festinger, who hypothesized that we make comparisons as a way of evaluating ourselves.

Over the years, I have learned a lot about the #1 Rule of Happiness…. ๐‘ซ๐’๐’’๐’• ๐’„๐’๐’Ž๐’‘๐’‚๐’“๐’† ๐’š๐’๐’–๐’“๐’”๐’†๐’๐’‡ ๐’•๐’ ๐’๐’•๐’‰๐’†๐’“๐’”.

Instead, why not appreciate all you were born with!

Compare you with you and focus on developing the inherent gifts, skills and traits that you are lucky enough to have. No one else can equally provide what you have to offer the world and to those around you.

Remember – you are unique!

Do you follow up?

Do you follow up?

No matter how successful a coaching session seems to have gone, unless you follow up, opportunities for growth can be squandered and lost.

My experience – the task of following up never ends!

If I am coaching someone and through the session they agree to a specific action, I know the value of following through. Without following up, it feels like buying a ticket for the cinema and then deciding not to go! Without the completed follow up action, the commitment to change is frequently lost.

And have you noticed, there is always a follow up question too?!

Commitment to action always improves when you follow up!

Work

“There is no substitute for hard work” – so said Thomas Edison.

It was in my childhood that I started to learn the value of work. Throughout much of my school years, I was up early to deliver the morning papers. No matter the weather, I was up and out on my round by 6 am.ย  An early rise has been the pattern of my entire life.

Even before my early departure, I remember, mum or dad being up to clean out the coal fire, remove all the ash and set it for the day ahead.

There is a certain charm in a real coal fire, but there is also a lot of hard work to enjoy those benefits.

“Work is honourable. It is good therapy for most problems. It is the antidote for worry. Work is the equaliser for deficiency of native endowment. Work makes it possible for the average to approach genius. What we may lack in aptitude, we can make up for in performance” – J. Richard Clarke.

No matter what we do, or who we work for, we should give of our best – always.

By finding something that you really love to do, working will then not be a chore or a burden, it will be a joy.

I’ve seen work without success, but never success without work.

Keep stoking the flames of your own coal fires of life, a strong work ethic, will always keep the fire burning.

Loud voices

As the flames rage, smoke billows and the embers burn, ๐ฆ๐š๐ง๐ฒ loud voices argue on……good morning world.

Global Pandemic, economic carnage, climate change, terrorism, disease – need I go on!

The world is in commotion.

Welcome to Planet Earth – 2020

What can I do? What can we do?

Sure, I can make certain that I follow social distancing, recycle my waste and follow the laws of the land.

And yet, this morning, like every morning, somehow I look to the future with hope for a better world, a brighter future.

There are better days ahead. We will get through this challenge. And the next , and the next and the next.

You see, I can choose to make a difference every single day.

An act of kindness.

An act of service.

An act of compassion.

There is always someone to reach out to.

Just open your eyes and look.

It is up to you and me, to make a difference, every single day, one by one.

What will you choose to do today?

One by One

Over the last 30 + years, I have had many opportunities, with 1000’s of individuals to provide coaching, counselling or to share in a mentoring session together.

There are numerous articles, suggestions, models and books outlining what makes a great coaching conversation. In addition, I have also contributed to many discussions in lots of forums on the topic too.

I was however recently reminded again of a blindingly obvious point, it is this – simply stated, these conversations happen ๐™ค๐™ฃ๐™š ๐™—๐™ฎ ๐™ค๐™ฃ๐™š.

Intimate one by one conversations enable the most effective and powerful opportunities for change to occur. Giving someone your undivided attention for 30, 60 or even 90 minutes creates a powerful, meaningful, candid and insightful crucible for change. It is distraction free time.

Frequently, during these one by one moments a “reality check” occurs for the coachee. Indeed, a coaching conversation is perhaps the most personal and powerful form of communication and change that there is.

If you want change to happen, then you need to slow down, make time, listen to understand and consider the power of a coaching conversation, ๐™ค๐™ฃ๐™š ๐™—๐™ฎ ๐™ค๐™ฃ๐™š.

Who will you hold a coaching conversation with today?

Out of your depth?

When was the last time you were “out of your depth?”

Out of your depth – “not having the knowledge, experience, or skills to deal with a particular subject or situation.”

This week, I have experienced major IT problems with my laptop. My own efforts to resolve the matter, just seemed to make it worse. I was out of my depth for sure! I had no idea what was going on with Outlook, and it was just going from bad to worse – causing me all kinds of frustrations and major communication issues.

There is never a good time for technology to fail.

So, I decided to go for a walk, got some fresh air realising that I needed some help.

I contacted Managed IT Experts. I love their strapline “We make technology work for your business” – that’s what I needed. Within minutes he was onto the problem, doing some IT wizardry, resolving the issue at hand and had me back up and running once again.

Lesson learned – sometimes its best to call in the experts when you are well out of your depth!

Thank youย Sergio Andre

What part will you play today?

What “๐ฉ๐š๐ซ๐ญ” will you play today?

Every day – I make commitments to myself, my family members, my friends, my work clients and to voluntary opportunities that I love to serve in.

For example, yesterday I had a key “๐ฉ๐š๐ซ๐ญ” to play as the facilitator in a global virtual workshop, with 129 participants. I turned up atย 6.00amย (GMT), ready to guide each participant through the experience. Shortly afterwards my heart leapt when I received this lovely comment – “I must say todayโ€™s session was one of the best ever with such a spontaneous audience and so many volunteers! Thank you as always for making it so engaging and delivering it with such high energy!”

I loved playing my “๐ฉ๐š๐ซ๐ญ” in the whole experience.

Yesterday, I was also thrilled to play my ๐ฉ๐š๐ซ๐ญ as a husband, a father, a son, a brother, a coach, a friend, a servant and a leader.

Wherever you are, whatever you choose to do with your life, may I invite you to consider this phrase quoted so frequently by David O. McKay – “What eโ€™er thou art, act well thy ๐ฉ๐š๐ซ๐ญ”.

Acting your part well simply means that wherever you are and whatever you are doing, you choose to do it to the best of your ability and to be as useful as you possibly can.

How will you choose to play your “๐ฉ๐š๐ซ๐ญ” today?

Determination

And then it changed.

In our virtual session, all of the participants were viewing images representing different experiences or emotions connected with ๐ซ๐ž๐ฌ๐ข๐ฅ๐ข๐ž๐ง๐œ๐ž. Each participant was to select an image that really resonated with them personally.

I asked the session producer to select one of the many images and asked participants to identify themselves if they had selected that specific image. The producer randomly chose one of those participants… and then it began.

The image chosen – ๐๐ž๐ญ๐ž๐ซ๐ฆ๐ข๐ง๐š๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง.

I asked the participant why this image resonated with her. She then shared a portion of her life story that had been filled with adversity, physical challenge and major setbacks. Yet there was a determination not to let those setbacks get in the way of her own ambitions. In that moment, we all listened intently, in wonder and awe – each of us touched by her emotional testimony. I’ve tried hard to imagine what her life may have been like.

No matter whatever life had thrown at her, she chose to carry on enjoying the challenge of life with optimism, a positive outlook and a gritty determination.

Resilience is a choice, we can all develop much more.

What is your reaction in the face of adversity?

Does 9.00 am exist?

“Does 9.00 am exist” I asked the delegates on the virtual time management workshop. Unanimously they responded “yes!” followed by a few whispers and puzzled faces.

As we explored the concept of time together, everyone soon realised that 9.00 am, along with 24 hours, 1,440 minutes and indeed 86,400 seconds were all simply something that mankind had created to manage time better – the study of horology is fascinating! We concluded – 9.00 am isn’t real! In fact the only thing that is real, is day & night, along with the seasons – spring, summer, autumn and winter.

Each of us are stewards of our time here upon earth. Each and every day counts.

Henry B. Eyring captured it well when he said – “Someday, when you know who you really are, you will be sorry you didn’t use your time better.”

I love these words penned by Robert Baird:

Time flies on wings of lightning;
We cannot call it back.
It comes, then passes forward
Along its onward track.
And if we are not mindful,
The chance will fade away,
For life is quick in passing.
โ€™Tis as a single day.

Consider these questions focused on different time frames…

Are you doing everything that you should be doing with your one precious life?

How will you choose to fill the blank pages of your book of life today?