Are you wrestling?

Are you wrestling with something or someone?
Perhaps things are a little tense at the moment?
Recently I was asked “how do you deal with conflict President?”
One of my key goals is to ensure that as mission leaders we foster a mission culture of collaboration, encouragement, and unity.
Sounds simple enough, right?
But human beings are oftentimes far from simple!
Communication is strained, there are opposing positions, emotions run high – sound familiar?
And what happens if there are disagreements that impact relationships?
There are some simple things that we can do to overcome differences.
As a leader it is important to consider the following.

Top Tips

– Start with one-on-one conversations and get the full story by listening to understand.
Help each person do the important basic initial work at hand, namely – seeing the other person’s viewpoint, discerning their own emotions, and preparing for conversations to come.
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– Ask purposeful, meaningful questions by starting a dialogue
It is helpful to ask questions that focus on the facts and also on their emotions. “What is going on for you right now?” or “What’s motivating you?”
To help foster mutual understanding , it is also useful to have each person take the other persons perspective. This in turn will help everyone to feel heard and empowered.
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– Look forward – together
Once a little bit of clarity has started to evolve for each other, encourage each party to share what they have discussed with you as their leader.
In addition, remind them that they can work out their differences and find resolutions on their own by focussing on their relationship. Once the immediate disagreements are addressed, then make a plan to get everyone back on the same page.
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Some other important things to remember.
• Use this opportunity to revisit agreed purpose and goals.
• Promote more interactions to create better cohesion.
• Don’t assume everyone knows what they’re supposed to be working on! Clarify each other’s roles so that people know exactly what is expected of them.
Compassion, empathy, finding common ground, forgiveness, kindness, being an active listener and above all, selfless service are key to build bridges to resolve any conflicts.
Finally, choosing to slow down and focus on what matters most – really helps!
How can you repair some broken bridges?

A Heroes Journey

Have any of these people touched your heart recently?
Harry Potter, Spiderman, Batman, Superman, Ironman, Wolverine, Black Panther, Hulk, Cinderella, Bambi, Snow White, Luke Skywalker, Simba (Lion King), Maverick, all of the X-Men, Kung Fu Panda, Aladdin, Tarzan, Buzz Lightyear, Peter Pan, Ariel (Little Mermaid), Bilbo Baggins, Wall-E and many more….
What do they all have in common?
You may be surprised to learn that every character listed is an orphan or a semi-orphan (separated from at least one parent).
The Orphan Hero is not new in storytelling.
Is it a coincidence?
So, what is the purpose of creating such characters?
May it somehow represent a journey that all of us need to go through?
There are usually different parts to a typical storyline.

The Storyline

Firstly, there is usually some kind of awakening story shaped by adversity of some kind.
Secondly, as the hero’s journey commences, there is a provocation of sorts that stimulates an awakening, frequently with a mentor on hand (usually older).
Thirdly, on their journey, the hero discovers some purpose, or true identity and embraces their own authenticity.
Through triumph and tragedy these movie characters have all played into large chunks of our life’s.
Without their parents, we are drawn into the storyline by the insecurity that is created. Perhaps we even start to imagine how we’d react to such perils in our own life.
Subsequently, the characters are all forced to deal with the challenges of the respective storyline and almost always faced with one or several transformational experiences.
As a coach and mentor, I’ve noticed that there is frequently a guide who plays a special part in the journey.
For example – Gandalf, Yoda, Obi Wan Kenobi, Dumbledore, Alfred, Xavier and many more.
Generally, these characters have a central role in the story and oftentimes eventually disappear.
The Hero’s Journey is in fact a formulaic template used successfully for generations.
Although formulaic, this journey is open to all of us.
Consider the adversities and challenges you have overcome in your own life.
What story are you living?
Do you have a mentor or guide?
What makes a real hero for you?

Elevate Your Thoughts

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝.
All that we achieve and all that we fail to achieve is a direct result of our 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬.

Eagles and Crows.

Consider this short story by Vernon Howard, about a community of eagles that lived on a beautiful mountain range.
“The eagles were happy and found an abundance of food in surrounding woods and streams. Their days were spent in lofty soaring in the beautiful blue sky, high above the world. But down on the dry prairie, there dwelt a band of devious crows. The crows had access to a low grade of corn in glittering packages. They looked for unsuspecting travellers who they could get to eat the corn.
Now the eagles were smart enough, but careless at times. Though they were cautious at first, the corn looked pretty good. Besides, it saved the effort of hunting. So, the eagles soared less and less and began dropping down to the crows’ cornfields more and more. Of course, the less they flew, the less they felt like flying. Growing weak in their wings, they began to believe that they were meant to be down on the ground with the crows.
But there was one eagle who sensed that something was not right. Besides, the corn didn’t really taste as good as the crows said it would. When he tried to persuade his eagle friends to return to the mountains, the crows ridiculed him. Believing the crows, the eagles shunned their former friend.
Growing tired of it all, the lone eagle studied himself carefully. He tried his wings, and something deep inside told him he belonged in a higher place. So off he flew, back to the mountains. Then from dawn to dusk, he soared over his beautiful world, free to be what he was always meant to be – an eagle.”

Your Thoughts

In our personal life, we can all be affected by many blinding influences.
If we are not careful, we can be deceived by false beliefs and teachings spread by millions of “devious crows.”
They are able to convince many to take the “easy street”.
But all of us are really 𝐞𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐞𝐬.
We are all meant to soar!
There are a few ways to think about “crows” around us, including negative thoughts, that can be random, unpleasant, agitating and anxiety filled mental impulses.
Despite these thoughts, each of us can overcome them and become a powerful influence for good.
𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒔 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒑𝒐𝒘𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒄𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒔 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒍𝒊𝒇𝒆.
My invitation to everyone today through this timeless fable, is to elevate your thoughts, don’t get stuck in the mud, you are meant to soar above this world!
“For as [a man] thinketh in his heart, so is he.” – Proverbs 23:7
Now – off you go…. Take Flight!

Where can you turn for peace?

𝐖𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡 𝐯𝐨𝐢𝐜𝐞𝐬 𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰?
“There are… so many kinds of voices in the world, and none of them is without signification” the words of Paul in 1 Corinthians 14:10.
There are indeed so many voices –
Voices that cry and plead with us to follow them.
Voices that deceive, threaten, and spread terror.
Voices that lull us into a false sense of security.
Voices that gossip.
Voices online, in magazines and newspapers, clamouring for attention, offering a maelstrom of advice.
Voices that promise us the world and happiness – if we will but enslave ourselves by the bondage of debt for a generation and for some a lifetime.
𝐁𝐞𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐞 of all these voices that clamour for your attention.
Are you distressed, perplexed or even fearful of these voices?
Is it time to shun the screaming of the headlines for a season?

Where can you turn for peace and tranquillity?

 

First – sever contact with the constant throb of the next alert on your mobile device.
Second – stop scrolling and set your mobile device aside.
Third – take a break from the daily global headlines and crisis of the world, which is in constant commotion.
Fourth – take a walk, enjoy nature and temporarily retreat into a different world.
Soon you’ll realise, like I have, that the troubles of the world are made by man and inflated by man.
If we could live kindly and appreciatively of one another, in peace, then all other problems would resolve themselves in the due course of time.
Maybe my suggestion is too simplistic.
Maybe, after all, I am just too simple?
After your walk and break it’ll be time to return.
Fifthly – For some, there is one voice above them all.
“The sheep hear his voice: … and the sheep follow him: for they know his voice. And a stranger will they not follow, … for they know not the voice of stranger” John 10:3-5
From among the multitude of voices we hear during our mortal life, we must recognise the voice of the Good Shepherd, even Jesus Christ, who calls us to follow Him toward our heavenly home.
His voice is sweet and pure.
I hope you find Him.
#HearHim

Prayer – an act of faith.

“𝐈𝐟 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝, 𝐤𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐥” said Gordon B. Hinckley.

Prayer itself is an act of faith.

One of my favourite verses of scripture on prayer is found in the Book of Mormon, when Alma the Younger, is counselling his son Helaman…

“Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and he will direct thee for good; yea, when thou liest down at night lie down unto the Lord, that he may watch over you in your sleep; and when thou risest in the morning let thy heart be full of thanks unto God; and if ye do these things, ye shall be lifted up at the last day” (Alma 37:37)

What a powerful verse about prayer, isn’t it?

And even more so that it’s counsel from a father to his son.

People of integrity say what they mean and mean what they say.

Answers come by submissively aligning our will, to God’s will.

God does not give us what we can handle; He helps us handle what we are given.

Throughout the scriptures the term fasting is frequently combined with prayer.

Sometimes we can forget the power of fasting. Yet it is a precious tool that allows us to change lives.

Fasting magnifies our ability to pray.

“Lord, what wilt thou have me to do?” asked Paul in the book of Acts.

We should persistently ask that question in our daily prayers, in order to know what to do.

An act of Faith

As a Christian and as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I am so thankful for the powerful gift of prayer and commend it to all.

Hymns 140, the closing verse reads;

“Oh, how praying rests the weary!
Prayer will change the night to day.
So, when life gets dark and dreary,
Don’t forget to pray.”

I have found so much comfort and solace through prayer.

So can you.

Thomas S. Monson said, “Prayer is the passport to spiritual power.”

Why not commune with your Heavenly Father.

Remember, no one stands taller, than when they kneel in prayer…

Why not kneel in prayer to start your day – you won’t regret it!

As a Man Thinketh

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭?
“For as [a man] thinketh in his heart, so is he” – Proverbs 23:7
The vast majority of Proverbs were written by King Solomon.
You will recall that he was regarded as one of the wisest men who ever lived.
Each concise proverb is designed to give us a deeper perspective on life, living, and in turn, hopefully better decision making!

My question then is…

“Is this statement actually really true?”
Consciously or subconsciously our minds are always in motion.
“Your thoughts are the architects of your destiny” said David O. McKay.
The ability to learn, to think, to choose, and to reason, all define us as human beings.
I believe that our innate ability to think, goes much, much deeper.
Essentially, our thoughts become a reflection of who we really are.
Daily, we can choose to fill our minds with whatever we want.
And there is so much choice!
Good, Bad, Beautiful, Ugly, Happy, Sad, Clean, Unclean, Cheerful, Dreary, Hope, Despair…..
Whatever we choose to let into our minds will in turn, generally become the pattern of what will then transpire in our lives.
Who we are, and where we are, in life is principally the result of our own actions and choices, all of which begin in our minds as thoughts and desires.
If you think it long enough, you are very likely to do it.
Daily we choose.
Daily we act.
It is in our minds that our futures are made.
We are responsible for the thoughts we think and the purposes we pursue.
You are the master of them.
Controlling our thoughts helps us to conquer ourselves.
“What we see triggers what we think, what we think influences what we desire, what we desire affects our actions, our combined actions determine our character, and our character determines our eternal destiny.” – Dallin H. Oaks
Is your mind a happy place to be?

Building Rapport

Recently I was asked – “How do you build rapport?”
Rapport – “a relationship characterized by agreement, mutual understanding, or empathy that makes communication possible or easy – a friendly, harmonious relationship.”
I see rapport as being the sense of connection that I may have with someone.
When you have good rapport it’s like being in sync with someone, and are mutually interested in each other. Often you’ll discover that you have similar feelings and emotions too.
It is also about effective communication and building a healthy camaraderie.
Building rapport is all about establishing that connection and the process of creating deeper relationships.

Top Tips

Firstly, start with yourself!
You really need to know and understand your truest self. Who are you, what are your core values, what are your interests and hobbies, how do you go about getting things done? Importantly – do not pretend to be someone you’re not!
Secondly, empathy is key.
What is empathy? It’s understanding how others feel and being compassionate toward them. The key part to empathy is being genuinely curious. Don’t just stand in another person’s shoes, go, and actually take a walk in them!
Thirdly, ask questions.
Some variation of “tell me about yourself” is often a great way to start a conversation. Asking questions can remove uncomfortable small talk and help you get into more meaningful conversations.
Fourthly, listen!
Active listening means giving your full attention to someone who is speaking. If someone feels like you are hearing them, they will likely listen to you in return, which can establish a good relationship and build great rapport.
Fifthly, take time to understand.
When you take the time to really understand someone, you’ll begin to be able to see the world from the other person’s perspective. It helps to find some common ground and create some shared experiences together.
I know that building great rapport will improve your relationships and will make you a better communicator.
What can you do to build rapport?

Why not religion?

Why not Religion?
As Rabbi Jonathan Sacks taught: “[Religion] remains the most powerful community builder the world has known. … Religion is the best antidote to the individualism of the consumer age. The idea that society can do without it flies in the face of history.”
Nearly 2 years ago, we received an unexpected call from church headquarters in Salt Lake City.
Subsequently, we were asked to preside over one of the 411 missions of the church.
In time we were assigned to the Belgium Netherlands Mission, serving here June 2021 – July 2024.
Our life’s have changed.
It is a voluntary assignment.
So – why did we accept the call?
It was a moment that really mattered – it was a day of determination.
Simply stated, Jesus Christ is the reason.
It’s also because of a strong conviction of the truth of this work and I choose to let my faith show.
That said, the subject of religion can be touchy, especially where we live now!
Religious views are a deeply personal and even sacred thing.

Religion should be three things:

Firstly, it should provide answers to basic questions that the sincerest human beings ultimately come around to, namely what is our purpose in life…?
• Where did we come from?
• Why are we here?
• Where are we going after this life is over.
True religion should offer answers to our minds that our hearts can respond to.
Secondly, it should provide a way for us to live and find happiness not only here on earth but also in the life to come.
Thirdly, it must provide a way to provide a confirming witness that the religion is true, which in turn motivates and encourages you to live that way.
Like millions of others, I’ve found that through the Book of Mormon.
As Neal A. Maxwell once said, “Do not dare to read the Book of Mormon seriously, or you may suddenly realize that it is inlaid with incredibly important insights from a millennium of sacred history.”
Answering those three things and choosing to live my religion, motivates me every day.
If you are serious – it will answer all your questions too.
How can faith & religion help you in your life?

Turn it Off!

“𝐋𝐞𝐭’𝐬 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐨𝐟𝐟 𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐨𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐨𝐭.”
In our leadership session on Saturday, that was one of many discussions we shared together.
Thinking about that comment this morning, I asked myself several times over, what does that actually mean for me?
On reflection, it’s actually when your body is here, but your mind is elsewhere.
Do you know that feeling?
In my pre-mission coaching world language, it’s about paying attention and being aware.
As a coach I’d refer to this as having presence or being present.
However, from time to time, people simply zone out.
Have you seen this?
You probably do it yourself from time to time!
There in body, but your mind is elsewhere.
Frequently we simply turn our thinking to automatic mode, and we don’t pay attention, in other words we hit our autopilot.
For example, routinely, many of us drive in this mode – we get home and remember little or any part of the journey.
The key to change is every time you notice you are on autopilot, you turn your attention to what you are doing.

Here are some tips…

– Getting a glass of water, pause and feel your feet, hear the noise of the water as it flows into your glass.
– Walking to your next appointment, stop thinking about your things to do and notice that you are walking. What do you see, hear, smell, and feel? Touch something along the way.
– In your next meeting, after 20 minutes ask yourself if you are bored. If you are, then make a decision to turn your attention back on. What do you hear and see now?
– Stop Multi-tasking! (Exclamation mark). When someone asks to speak to you, then stop what you are doing, put your mobile down, stop typing and listen.
– Go and learn mindfulness.
What can you do to get off autopilot and be more present?

Stay in the Boat

“Let’s get in the boat” I said.

However, it wasn’t quite the trip the Mission Leadership Council (MLC) members were quite expecting!

It reminded me of a talk given by Elder M. Russell Ballard some years ago entitled “Stay in the Boat and Hold On!” I highly recommend it.

In his talk Elder Ballard said, “In searching the scriptures and the words of past and current apostles and prophets, we should focus on studying, living, and loving the doctrine of Christ.”

Staying true to Jesus Christ is like staying safe in a boat.

Yesterday we did embark upon a few adventures of our own and held on!

We welcomed five new members to the MLC.

The mission home was filled to capacity.  We loved having everyone here.

Counselling Together

In our council session, we spent time understanding the doctrine of Christ, discussed the Lord’s timing and completed a team building activity on balance, to strengthen our collaboration together.

In addition, we also learned about earnest fasting, searching the scriptures, supplication in prayer and looking smart in our missionary endeavours.

Oh, and lunch was delicious too.  Echt lekker 😊

Working with the missionaries is not only a spiritually edifying experience, but also a lot of fun too – the pictures below testify of that!

We laughed, we cried, we talked, we listened, we played, we counselled, we prayed, we sang, and we learned lots together.

Our discussions were like the essential supplies, safety guidelines and instructions required to make our way down the river of life to our final destination.

There is nothing quite like these gatherings, frankly, they are an inspiration.

You can depend upon the missionaries.

If any one of you have fallen out of the boat, or want to get into the boat, we will do our best to find you, minister to you, and pull you safely in.

Why not join us and jump on board “Old Ship Zion” – you’ll love the journey!

#HearHim #ldsmissionary #ldsmission #LetGodPrevail