The Flu…

I don’t like being sick.
I’ve spent the last 24 hours in bed dealing with a bad cold or maybe it’s the flu?
I’m not too certain what virus I currently have, I’m sure it probably doesn’t really matter, although the test tells me its not covid.
This morning, the last thing I wanted to do was get out of bed and get dressed.
Headache, fever, runny nose, sore throat, coughing fits, muscle ache, generally lethargic and so forth.
I guess I’m just feeling sorry for myself.
I’ve gone through a box of tissues, the kind with extra balsam that are supposed to be gentle on your nose.
Paracetamol and ibuprofen have taken the edge off the fever and helped to deal with the symptoms I’m experiencing.
I take all the help I can get, to get healthy again.
Why does it take so long to get over the flu?
I’m an impatient patient!
In fact, I’m a terrible patient.
Monic has been in the bedroom a few times to see how I’m doing, one thing I know for sure, I’m a little bit grumpy!
Everything is more difficult when I’m ill.
Perhaps I should see this as an opportunity for a break from my busy schedule.
Although taking time out is a good thing, I’m not thrilled about staying in my bed.
I’ve written my journal.
Dealt with several emails.
Booked hotel rooms.
Read a book.
Watched a movie.
Got caught up on social media.
Slept.
Drank lots of water.
Two hot cups of water with honey were actually quite nice.
Ultimately, my body is saying “Hey listen, it would be really great if you would just take a rest.”
Roll on the next 24 hours!
How do you deal with being sick? Any suggestions?

Smile

I am not too certain what it is about missionaries, but they are always smiling!
Being with them yesterday, reminded me of an experiment I conducted some years ago.
It was to 𝒔𝒎𝒊𝒍𝒆 𝒂𝒕 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚𝒐𝒏𝒆!
When at home back then, I walked our dog (Fawn) early one afternoon in the “Glen” in Dunfermline.
A perfect time to experiment!
Setting off, school kids were at lunch – they gave me some unusual looks in response.
I bumped into an old friend I hadn’t seen in over 30 years. We talked, laughed and shared many memories.
Next, I met a young family feeding the squirrels, we smiled and they commented about the beauty of the Glen and we struck up a lovely conversation.

Ball throwing time.

Fawn was delighted!
Other dog owners joined in.
Further conversation ensued!
Next – tourists from Gent, Belgium. I practised my Dutch – it was great! We talked and smiled at our language skills.
Finally, nearing home again as I smiled, I received a smile or a cheerful comment in return.
In fact, with the exception of the school kids, everyone I made eye contact with, when I smiled at them, they smiled back or shared a positive greeting.
The results were astonishing!
I was happier, more relaxed, more positive and somehow more approachable.
I loved the walk.
I realised the great power of a smile.
Wearing a SMILE everyday brightens someone’s day.
“Go forward in life with a smile on your face, a sparkle in your eyes, and with great and strong purpose in your heart. The best things in life are the people in your life, the moments we live, and memories we made along the way.” Gordon B. Hinckley
As a child growing up in church, I learned this little song:
“If you chance to meet a frown, do not let it stay.
Quickly turn it upside down and smile that frown away.
No one likes a frowning face. Change it for a smile.
Make the world a better place by smiling all the while.”
Why not conduct your own experiment today and pass on your smile!

In Summary…

In any coaching conversation, one of the most important skills that a coach needs to learn is to reflect, summarise and paraphrase.
𝐑𝐞𝐟𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 back is in essence holding up a mirror for the coachee and letting them hear what they said, using their own words and perhaps even how they said it, tone, and all.
It could be several sentences, a sentence, a few words, or perhaps even just one word.
Reflecting provides both clarity and understanding for the coachee.
𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 on the other hand is when you almost always use the clients words or very occasionally your own words, in a shortened concise overview format, to check that you are both aligned.
Frequently I’ll begin by saying “In summary” or “As I understand it then…” or “In my words, I heard…” It is condensing the content of what has been said, down to its very essence.
Whenever I get nearer the action points of a coaching session, I usually turn to the coachee and allow them to start summarising for themselves.
𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐡𝐫𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠: According to the Oxford Dictionary, “To paraphrase is to express the meaning of (the writer or speaker or something written or spoken) using different words, especially to achieve greater clarity.
Oftentimes I find myself paraphrasing the content of the coachees words, which could be several sentences long.
Or you can also paraphrase the emotion behind the words.
For example a way to paraphrase emotion is to “that sounds really exhausting” when a coachee is finding a situation particularly difficult. This lets the coachee know that you are listening and provides the
evidence that you have really listened!
It also really helps to build trust and develops empathy.
These three principles are important in developing great communication skills.
What principle will you work on in your conversations today?

Lost in Translation

Anyone who speaks two languages knows that some phrases in one language communicate certain ideas better than in another.
For instance the word “gezellig” in Dutch.
In English it is pronounced “heh-sell-ick.”
According to Wikipedia, “A perfect example of untranslatability is seen in the Dutch language through the word gezellig, which does not have an English equivalent. Literally, it means cozy, quaint, or nice, but can also connote time spent with loved ones, seeing a friend after a long absence, or general togetherness.”
It means everything from cozy to friendly, from comfortable to relaxing, and from enjoyable to gregarious.
Just one word and eight letters in Dutch, and it takes Wikipedia and me two dozen words to try and summarise, define and understand that one Dutch word, of which there is no English equivalent.
In fact different cultures prescribe different words to various emotions, and words to express a particular emotion may not be found in another language.
I have learned that all languages have strengths and weaknesses.
Recent observations have taught me something about the Dutch.
Firstly, many Dutch will explain something, and then secondly, they’ll add an English translation to emphasise a point they wish to make, or ensure understanding.
Frequently I now do it myself!
Consider this example in English and the possible interpretations, depending on the emphasis you give different words. (𝒃𝒐𝒍𝒅 𝒊𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒄𝒔 added)
“𝑰 never said he stole my phone”. Suggests I never said it, but someone else did.
“I 𝒏𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 said he stole my phone”. Suggests that I never said that at all.
“I never 𝒔𝒂𝒊𝒅 he stole my phone”. Suggests I may have implied it, even if I didn’t directly say it.
“I never said 𝒉𝒆 stole my phone”. Suggests that I didn’t say that boy stole it, but some other boy did.
“I never said he 𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒍𝒆 my phone”. Suggests that I never said he stole my phone, but perhaps he borrowed it.
“I never said he stole 𝒎𝒚 phone”. Suggests that he stole someone’s else phone, not mine.
“I never said he stole my 𝒑𝒉𝒐𝒏𝒆”. Suggests that he stole something else, but not my phone.
𝐄𝐦𝐩𝐡𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐬, changes meaning – a lot!
What have you lost in translation?

Living Waters…

In the Netherlands, water is everywhere.
The Dutch are experts on living with water.
In fact, 17%, nearly a fifth of the surface area of the Netherlands consists of water.
Water is an essential part of life in the Netherlands.
It nourishes, sustains life, and quenches our thirst – it has a vital role for all of us.
Leaving the Randstad behind and driving north to Leeuwarden this week, I was reminded of the many waterways, coastline, canals, vast lakes, acres of flat grassland, windmills, hunchbacked dikes, dams and water defences everywhere.
A walk-through history shows that the Netherlands, its fertile soils, its culture, and its people have been shaped by water for generations.
Here, they must constantly manage the complicated balance of keeping water out and inviting it in.
Water flows through the life of the Dutch, yet like all of us, they’re still thirsty.
I’ve even heard it said “that God created the world, but the Dutch created the Netherlands.”
Talking of God, there is another type of water I’d like you to consider.

Living Waters

Two thousand years ago, Jesus of Nazareth sat by a well in Samaria and talked to a woman about living waters.
He taught that “whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give… shall never thirst; for it shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life.” – John 4:13-14
The living water is the gospel of Jesus Christ.
Our missionaries invite people daily to drink from the living waters.
Just as water is essential to sustain physical life, the Saviour taught that drinking deeply of the living waters are essential for eternal life.
Joseph B. Wirthlin said; “By living the gospel of Jesus Christ, we develop within ourselves a living spring that will quench eternally our thirst for happiness, peace, and everlasting life.”
Spiritual thirst indicates a need for living water.
Are you 𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐲?

Are you big-hearted?

The heart is a tender place.
Often, we may describe a person by their heart.
We use phrases like “big-hearted” or “kind-hearted” or “goodhearted” or sometimes even having a “heart of gold.”
They are kind, generous, gracious, thoughtful, compassionate and are often the first to extend a helping hand when it is needed, without any expectations attached.
They really care.
They are in touch with how their hearts feel and let others know.
They also lift others and always see the good in them.
Yes – that’s those with a big heart.
Do you know any such souls?
There are a few of these people in my life right now, and I treasure every one of them.
All week long, our missionaries have been speaking with lots of people about love.
And they’ve given out lots of big hearts!
It has been Valentine’s week after all!
I know that hearts are softened by love.
Love has a way of spreading.
It can make your day sparkle.
And if you’re happy, you can illuminate someone else’s day.
Missionaries love to serve others with all of their hearts.
They’ve been illuminating people’s life’s all week long.
At the drop of a hat, they’re off serving, to lend a hand to someone in need.
I hope when you meet the missionaries, you will not fear them, but are willing to listen and learn from them.
After all, each one of them has a big heart and they just love to share what’s in it.
𝑯𝒐𝒘 𝒃𝒊𝒈 𝒊𝒔 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕?

Ambition

When Joe Wilson finished college and joined his father in a small family-owned business, Mr. Wilson was overjoyed.
“It will be good to have some aggressive young management around the place,” he said.
“Your first duty as my new partner is to replace that sign out front with one of those father-and-son signs…. you know the kind.”
“Yes, I know just want we need,” Joe said.
Later he invited his father out to inspect the new sign.
Mr Wilson was speechless for a moment….then he said…
“Now that’s what I call real aggressive young management.”
The sign read: Joe C. Wilson & Father.

Love Letters

Last night we had some good friends visit, John and Rebecca Muntinga.
It was lovely to see them, eat dinner, catch up and relax together.
We love to play games, and they introduced us to a new one called Love Letters.
It’s a game of risk, deduction, and luck, but very topical for valentines this week.
Players attempt to deliver their love letter into the Princess’s hands while keeping other players’ letters away.
It was a fun game, and we had quite a few laughs playing together.
Reflecting upon the game this morning, I recalled the many love letters that I sent in my younger years, especially with valentines.

Acronyms

I remember the acronyms that I’d write on the back of the envelope such as:
S W A L K – Sealed with a loving kiss.
I T A L Y – I trust and love you.
H O L L A N D – Hope our love lasts and never dies.
(Holland proved to be a good one for me!)
Whilst dating, Monic and I were so far apart, that we still treasure our letters today.
Our missionaries too, like receiving letters from home, as parents, siblings and sometimes even a girlfriend of boyfriend express their love.
In a way, the holy scriptures are like love letters from home telling us how we can draw near to our Father in Heaven and Jesus Christ.
Gordon B. Hinckley said; “Love is the very essence of life. It is the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Yet it is not found only at the end of the rainbow. Love is at the beginning also, and from it springs the beauty that arched across the sky on a stormy day. Love is the security for which children weep, the yearning of youth, the adhesive that binds marriage, and the lubricant that prevents devastating friction in the home; it is the peace of old age, the sunlight of hope shining through death. How rich are those who enjoy it in their associations with family, friends, and neighbours! Love, like faith, is a gift of God. It is also the most enduring and most powerful virtue.”
Today’s texting lingo may be:
BFF – Best friends forever
ILY – I love You
FIMH – Forever in My Heart.
IMHO – Why not send a letter of love to someone today…?

Using time wisely

“𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐞𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞?” I asked, in our Mission Leadership Council.
“Lets make a pie chart of the last 7 days” I said.
“How many hours are in a week?” I asked.
A few seconds later, the response was “168.”
Then I asked them to consider several things that they did and to discuss their week together.
How long did you spend…
– sleeping?
– eating?
– exercising?
– in personal grooming?
– shopping?
– cleaning?
– travelling?
– in personal study?
– in companion study?
– in language study?
– in meetings?
– in planning?
– in finding?
– in teaching?
– relaxing?
The result?
There were a few audible gasps in the room when they discovered surprising patterns in how their time was spent.
Using a simple graphic to visualise a typical day or a typical week can be very helpful.
It can help you understand where your time goes and how you can make use of your time better.
Ultimately, the use of an effective time management chart, will help you understand how your time is spent on the many different things you do in life.
After completing the exercise, we turned from the past 7 days, to the next 7 days.
By using the results of their personal time management chart, a quick analysis, will help improve their way of getting things done, and become more productive.
With this approach everyone can make the most of their time and avoid mistakes that can happen.
In essence, time management is really self-management and discipline in how we manage ourselves.
Time flies, but just remember, you’re the pilot!
How can you be more thoughtful and intentional about how you use your time, and make space for the things that matter most?

A Big Hug

There is nothing like a hug, to help someone feel loved.
In our mission, we embrace one another – often!
We’re huggers!
You can’t help but wrap your arms around someone without sending over just a wee bit of love.
Last week saw another transfer day.
Missionaries arrive and missionaries depart.
And in between there is a lot of hugging!
It’s a way to let the people we love, know how much they mean to us.
Arriving at the airport, being met with a big hug from a complete stranger can be a little overwhelming for some!
As you can see below, there are all different kinds of hugs…
The heart-to-heart hug, the side hug, the nervous hug, the friend hug, the bear hug, the polite hug, the tight hug, the quick hug, the comforting hug, the one-sided hug, the one-armed hug and many more…
We hug each other when we are excited, happy, sad, or perhaps when trying to comfort someone.
There are lots of benefits to hugging.
They help you feel happier.
They help to reduce anxiety and stress.
They help you feel that everything will be okay.
They strengthen our relationships.
In my opinion – we absolutely need hugs!
When someone embraces you, somehow the world just seems a little lighter.
If you are feeling just a little uncomfortable with hugging, then my advice – practice!
Whether you limit hugs, or you hug everyone you meet, please know that hugs are good for you.
And if you are arriving any time soon in the Belgium Netherlands Mission, be prepared to hug!
Go on, find someone today and give them a big hug…(with permission!)