Grit

It’s been over 7 years since Talmage last walked through our front door with his missionary companion.
This time he had a different companion, his wife Marianne.
Together they’re enjoying a belated honeymoon in Scotland.
Over the years we have kept in touch sporadically and so it was truly delightful to reconnect at the weekend.
Reflecting upon our time together and our discussion, I was reminded of Angela Duckworths book “Grit, The Power Of Passion And Perseverance”.
In her book, grit is defined as “passion and perseverance for long-term and meaningful goals”.
When you have the inner strength of grit, you don’t give up on the things that you want.
Possessing grit has become an increasingly rare yet invaluable trait.
Someone who embodies this quality, coupled with determination, perseverance, and resilience, is a beacon of inspiration.
And that is Talmage – in a nutshell!

Podcasting – but more!

Talmage’s passion is podcasting.
But he is not just a podcaster.
He is a storyteller, a learner, and a teacher.
It was clear that his love for podcasting goes beyond mere enjoyment.
Talmage has a commitment to his audience and to his craft.
As he shared some stories it was evident that true success is not measured by numbers but by the impact he creates, with his guests, one episode at a time.
Podcasting, with its unique blend of storytelling, education, and entertainment, is no easy feat.
For someone who loves this medium, grit is not just an advantage; it is a necessity.
It demands consistency, creativity, and a relentless pursuit of knowledge.
It is this kind of grit that fuels Talmage’s determination to tackle the technical challenges of recording, editing, and producing content week after week.
His perseverance was evident in the consistency with which he produces content, always striving for improvement, no matter how many obstacles he faces along the way.
He regularly interviews returned missionaries and other guests who share insights and stories of struggle, success, and self-discovery.
Look up and enjoy his next episode of “𝑹𝒆𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒆𝒅” wherever you pick up your podcasts.
Enjoy Scotland the pair of you – and come back soon!
How can you stay gritty?

My Witness

Throughout my life, I have witnessed many physical events that have changed the world.
I can sign up and say I’ve seen them all.
On July 13th, 1985, The Live Aid concerts held in London and Philadelphia, that were broadcast to the world, raised $125 million dollars in relief aid to famine-stricken eastern Africa.
A few months later on January 28th, 1986, just over a minute after lift-off from the Kennedy Space Centre, the space shuttle Challenger exploded, killing all seven crew members.
On November 9th, 1989, as the Cold War began to ease, the destruction of the wall in Berlin that led to millions of people celebrating in the streets across the world.
1994 – Nelson Mandela elected President of South Africa.
1997 – Princess Diana dies in car crash
2001 – 9/11
2004 – Indian Ocean earthquake and tsunami
2008 – the Great Recession and financial crisis
2020 – the Covid-19 Pandemic
2022 – the death of Queen Elizabeth II

Personal Events

I have also witnessed many personal events.
Graduating from University, getting married, the birth of our children, the death of my gran, my nana, my father and father-in-law and a host of others.
I testify that I have witnessed all of these in my lifetime.
There is, however, a spiritual witness that is more than a singular event.
It has been a constant throughout my life.
Between 1983 and 1985, as an 18-year-old, I served as a full-time missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in London.
It was there, acting in faith, in my studies, prayers and service that I received a witness of the restored Gospel of Jesus Christ.
Twenty centuries ago, the gospel of Jesus Christ turned the world upside down.
Through the great apostasy that true gospel was lost for generations.

Changes

It was in my teenage years, that my witness of and faith in Jesus Christ was impressed upon my mind, which changed my life and gave me great hope, in a battered and troubled world.
I testify, He has made a difference for me, and He will make all the difference for you.
Like so many other Christians today, I refuse to be silent.
My signature if you will, has been added to millions of others.
Jesus Christ will never give up pursuing or loving you.
I witness that He is the only way to find real joy.
Events continue to happen in an ever-changing world, but let me assure you, there is a divine work in progress.
I invite you to come unto Christ, let Him change your world.

Testing your Moral Compass

On Sunday in my local church congregation, I was invited to teach a lesson entitled “Integrity, A Christlike Attribute.”
After discussing what integrity means (e.g., honesty, consistency in actions, upholding moral principles etc), we created a straight line on the floor with some string and tape.
I explained that one end of the line represented “Strongly Agree,” the opposite end represented “Strongly Disagree,” and the middle represented a neutral stance.
The activity involved making decisions about how much they agreed or disagreed with certain statements related to integrity.
For example:
– “Integrity means always telling the truth, no matter the consequences.”
– “Sometimes it’s necessary to bend the rules to achieve a greater good.”
– “It’s okay to cheat a flawed system that is stacked against you.”
On each occasion, I invited everyone to position themselves on the line to indicate their view.
It was a fun activity, with lots of discussion and various opinions.

A personal lesson

After teaching the lesson it reminded me of my own moral dilemma from thirty years ago.
During my time at University in Edinburgh, occasionally I travelled home on the train.
The station where I boarded had no ticketing facilities and there was no alternative but to purchase a ticket on the train.
On one occasion, no conductor came along, so I couldn’t purchase a ticket.
Alighting at my home station, I must confess to feeling a little smug at not having to pay!
However, a few days later, the same thing happened again.
Then shortly thereafter, it happened on a 3rd occasion!
By this time, I was feeling uneasy about the whole thing.
I entered the ticket office at my home station and informed the clerk that I wanted to pay for my journey home, explaining what had happened.
I’ll never forget the quizzical look on his face, when he responded, “Get away son, don’t be daft, you’ve just had a freebie!”
My conscience was clear!
Most people have a sense of right and wrong, how and how not to behave.
What is your ethical DNA?
“A life of integrity requires us to be true to our divine identity” – Jack N. Gerard.
How has your moral compass been tested recently?

lost Luggage

Returning from London Kings Cross last Friday, the train pulled into my stop at Inverkeithing.
I arose from my seat and went to collect my luggage.
I’d deposited it nearly 5 hours earlier, in the luggage rack, but sadly, it was gone!
I searched all of the overhead rack space in the carriage, but no joy either.
A passenger, sitting in front of the rack said, “there was a bit of an altercation at Haymarket, maybe they’ve taken your luggage by mistake!”… Ouch… ☹
And that was it, I had to alight the train quickly, before it departed for its next stop.
I always take the plane to London and this was my first time on a return trip on the train in years.
Ticketing issues made the trip down difficult and now on the return my luggage was gone, my experience was disappointing.

Now What?

Then I met “Warren” the platform train “despatcher.”
In a friendly and polite manner, “Come in…” he said.
What followed were many telephone calls, notetaking, online form filling with London North Eastern Railway (LNER), British Transport Police BTP (was it stolen?) and a reassurance from him that all would be okay in the end.
His departing comment was, “I’ll call Aberdeen in a couple of hours, it’ll probably be there.”
Warren was more enthusiastic than me. At that stage, I wasn’t quite so certain of a positive outcome.
Later that evening, we spoke and happily I was informed, it was indeed in Aberdeen.
“They can either send it down, or you can collect it…” said Warren.
The quickest way was to drive to Aberdeen (200 miles/5 hours/£35 fuel round trip) on Saturday morning.

Saturday

Arising early, off I went.
The Scotrail staff in Aberdeen were equally eager to help and pleasant too.
The downside was I picked up a parking ticket as I was convinced it was a pay on exit, as I couldn’t see
any pay + display signs when I entered the railway station car park. I’d never been there before. That’ll cost me at least another £60, if I pay within 2 weeks. Should I appeal, I was still anxious after all?
Returning to Inverkeithing on Saturday afternoon, I met up with Warren again and thanked him for his efforts for going the extra mile. “Enjoy your chocolates…” I added.
He had restored my faith in ScotRail, and I acknowledged that there are still good helpful people.
He told me that he too was grateful and that I had restored his faith in people too. He said that I was one of the very few who had treated him respectfully and with dignity, instead of being shouted at or lambasted for the loss of luggage.
Customer Service is the backbone of any good company, and in Warren, Scotrail certainly have one of the best. Look out for him on Platform 1 at Inverkeithing next time.
Thank you, Warren, and thank you Scotrail for taking care of my luggage for me.
What is your experience with lost luggage?

Fruits

And off we went on our morning sabbatical.
We decided to take a route we hadn’t been on for years.
Halfway through we settled on returning home via a yet untried rambling journey!
It was a thoroughly enjoyable exploratory detour!
Taking our time, we discovered hedgerows aplenty, heavily laden with ripe blackberries.
Having recently purchased some blackberries in our local supermarket, we were well acquainted with the astronomical cost of 150 grams (5 oz)!
And here they were in abundance!!
If only we were more prepared.
Our foraging results enabled us to carry a good handful home, a heavenly bounty indeed.
The blackberries were delicious – juicier, fresher, sweeter, tastier and best of all – FREE!
We hadn’t set out to find fruit, but nevertheless it was a magical discovery, much to our delight.

Gospel Fruits

All this wealth of fruit got me thinking about some familiar scriptures.
I know there are many people today looking to satisfy their hunger for meaningful “fruits” in their own lives.
The Lord said to the people in his day, and also to us in His sermon on the Mount: “By their fruits ye shall know them.” – Matthew 7:20.
“For a good tree bringeth not forth corrupt fruit; neither doth a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit.
“… Every tree is known by his own fruit.” – Luke 6:43-44
In addition, the Apostle Paul lists the fruits of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22–23, as “love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, and temperance.”
These fruits are available in our day.
There is a bounteous harvest freely available to all.
In John 15:5 we read “I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.”
Living the gospel of Jesus Christ, yields much delicious fruit.
President Russell M. Nelson said, “My dear brothers and sisters, you are living exemplars of the fruits that come from following the teachings of Jesus Christ.”
If your own foraging has yielded a poor harvest thus far, filled with empty promises, dry, stale, sour and bland fruit, then I suggest you speak with a missionary of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I promise you a mouth-watering bowlful of yummy fruit waiting for your enjoyment.

The Good Old Days

We are made up of our memories.
And last night a few came flooding back, as Phil Gibbins and I took a stroll down memory lane….
Stepping back in time, we met at our old Oliver Wyman office at 55 Baker Street in London, followed by a meandering walk in the area and then to a favourite restaurant on Marylebone High Street.
We exchanged a warm hug; joyful smiles were ever present, and our conversation flowed easily as we engaged with one another to reminisce about “𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒈𝒐𝒐𝒅 𝒐𝒍𝒅 𝒅𝒂𝒚𝒔”.

Storytelling

As we shared our fun memories, there were stories galore and the air was filled with frequent laughter as we spoke about our crazy antics.
Together we’d weathered some notable experiences during our time frame of shared history, working side by side from 2008 – 2012.
Nostalgic moments, as we felt the power of the past that shaped our present.
Days never to be forgotten!
Over the years, although we’d connected once or twice in bite size chunks on LinkedIn and Zoom, those feelings were simply not the same as seeing each other after such a long time, in real life, to share a drink and meal together.
It was a heart warming reunion, a shared rekindling of a connection that time will never erode.

Life Happens

Life has happened and we are no longer who we once were, the signs of the passage of time had taken their toll!
Our night wasn’t just about the past, as we got caught up on each other’s current lives our aspirations and how much we had changed.
It was an occasion to reflect and appreciate just how far we had come.
A little older and perhaps a little wiser, but still as cantankerous as ever!
“It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.”- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Maintaining ties with the past is so important.
Meeting up with Phil last night reminded me of the old Joseph Parry quote, “Make new friends but keep the old. One is silver, and the other is gold.” – it’s just so true.
As the night came to a close, we recalled our taxi driver “Malcolm” who’d regularly pick us up at Manchester Airport, and the priceless discovery that after all those years he was still on the speed dial of my phone!
Departing, we promised each other that we wouldn’t leave it so many years until we met again, perhaps next time too, with a few other former colleagues alongside for good measure!
What is the most interesting or funniest memory you’ve taken away from a reunion?

Stretching, Growing and Learning

Over many years, I have had the opportunity and privilege to work in many leadership roles.
Lessons in leadership come in many ways.
I’ve certainly been stretched on many occasions as I struggled to get my head around the particular challenge of the day.
I’ve grown too in knowledge and understanding about how to handle many difficult situations.
And, I have learned so much about people, behaviours and what it means to be a good leader by putting the interests and needs of others first.
Oftentimes, I have benefited too from the guidance of other leaders who have inspired me.
Reflecting upon the last three years in Belgium and the Netherlands, working with 300+ young 18 – 26-year-old future potential leaders, I learned many lessons.

Stretching…

Time and time again, stretching opportunities came along for each of them to learn new skills.
Daily, growth opportunities arose for all of them to take on new challenges.
And regularly they all had opportunities to receive constructive feedback through 1-1 and team coaching/mentoring sessions.
Together we celebrated our successes.
When times were tough, when failures happened, we’d counsel with one another and figure out how to improve.
We learned a lot about slowing down.
Partnering with them, empowering them and trusting them to deliver their best work was key.
In any new growth situation, where we are learning and growing, our focus on what matters most is paramount.
Stretching happened every day.
And like many physical exercises, it is easy to grow tired!
No pain, no gain!
Small steps and little victories are key to forward progress.
Leadership guru, John Maxwell whilst speaking about the Law of the Rubber Band said; “Growth stops when you lose the tension between where you are and where you could be. There are many uses for a rubber band, but it’s of no use or value until it’s stretched.”
Just like a rubber band, you will never reach your full potential unless you are stretched!
Frequently, I was asked “How do I become a better leader?”
To start, take yourself out of your comfort zone and be prepared to be stretched.
Embrace the tension and put the resistance to work!
What kind of things are stretching you at the moment?

Pilgrims

Since returning home to Scotland, Monic and I have done a lot of walking.
We love to take a walk every day.
Yesterday, I took a long walk around our home city of Dunfermline.
I noticed something I hadn’t seen before on lots of lamp posts, that read “Fife Pilgrim Way”.
I never knew there was such a route in Dunfermline, so I started to follow the signs.
They directed me through the Glen, to the Abbey and then to the library, the historic quarter.
In the Library window, I found a book “The Fife Pilgrim Way”.
It set me off on a little quest in the afternoon and I found this interesting website about the Fife Pilgrim Way.
I learned a whole lot of things.
From the 11th to 16th centuries, pilgrims in their thousands walked between the northern and southern edges of the kingdom of Fife, enroute to the great cathedral in Saint Andrews.

What is a Pilgrim?

𝐏𝐢𝐥𝐠𝐫𝐢𝐦: “a person who journeys to a sacred place for religious reasons.”
In Latin it comes from the word peregrinus, meaning “one who has come from afar.”
Pilgrimages have long been a common feature of many world religions, including Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, and Shinto.
Today, millions of people make pilgrimages to a wide array of holy sites every year.
It got me thinking about my own pilgrimage in life.
A pilgrimage is a journey to a holy place, which for some, can lead to a personal transformation, after which the pilgrim normally returns to their daily life routines.
Having just returned from our mission in Belgium and the Netherlands, we discovered many people seeking for purpose, meaning, truth and personal growth.
I know too, of dear friends who made remarkable discoveries of their own as they embarked upon a pilgrimage that transformed them as they came to a knowledge of Jesus Christ.
Daily, throughout the world there are many modern-day pilgrims, on personal quests who come from “afar.”
Dieter F. Uchtdorf said “We are pilgrims walking the road of mortality in a grand search for meaning and ultimate truth.”
In essence, we are all pilgrims seeking God’s direction as we journey on our path through mortal life, far from our heavenly home.
To my fellow Christian pilgrims everywhere, the three most powerful behavioural words the Saviour spoke were “Come, follow me” (Luke 18:22) and that invitation continues today, as we journey on our miraculous pilgrimage through life.
I hope you choose to follow too, He is “the way…” – John 14:6.

Reading the Room

Some years ago, I was sat in a room in a hi-powered negotiation for a major multi-million-pound contract for the company I was working for.
Discussions, pricing, and contract negotiations had been going on for several weeks.
It was time for our final meeting to agree the contract.
I’ll never forget that meeting, as I did something I’d never done before.

And so it began…

It was immediately evident that they were trying very hard to undo some of our previous agreements to find a more satisfactory arrangement for their company.
I had prepared well for the negotiation and was aware of any concessions that could be made.
Having been through many negotiations before, I knew the importance of being able to read the room, by listening for facts, details, or any signals and feelings that could arise.
Tuning in, I felt the vibe was different than our previous meetings.
I recall the body language, the vocal tones, raised eyebrows, the fleeting smiles and even frowns that day.
Those tiny facial micro expressions helped me to read between the lines, the nuances of what was being said, clues if you will, as to what was actually going on, that helped me to understand the dynamics in the room and individual emotional states.
Essentially, it was about trying to figure out or understand how the others in the room were thinking, without them actually saying something.
I worked hard to mirror and match the energy and tone of the others in order to connect with them.

Tactics

The lead negotiator from the other side was trying very hard to squeeze me on price by another 2% (read tens of thousands of pounds) and were in a hurry to close out the contract negotiations and give me the contract that day.
The win-win for us both, was becoming a win-lose for me.
It just felt-off.
They were keen for me to shake hands and sign the deal.

Now what?

Looking around the room, taking a deep breath, boldly and risking all, I thanked them for their time, closed my folder, packed up and left.
The negotiation was over.
Within an hour, they called me.
The additional 2% demand was removed, I signed, and we agreed the contract.
Whether it’s a presentation to a large audience, or an important meeting or negotiation, be mindful of reading the room.
It takes a little practice, but stop, look and listen for those non-verbal clues, they’re always there.
How can you “read the room” better?

Heart to Heart

If your heart could speak, what would it say?
What does it really long to say?
What does it long to hear?
Being away for three years, has meant a lot of catch-up conversations recently.
Dialogue, with many dear friends and family, home and abroad, face to face and online.
Reflecting this morning on those conversations, I’ve realised that many of them have been heart to heart.

A definition…

Heart to Heart – “a serious conversation between two people, usually close friends, in which they talk honestly about their feelings.”
They haven’t been trivial or inconsequential.
Rather they’re deeper, somehow they feel much more vital and nourishing to each other’s souls, allowing our hearts to really connect.
There has been much more giving and receiving.
In addition, they have also created an even stronger relationship of mutual trust and understanding.
I have even listened to a lot of heartfelt emotions that I wasn’t aware of before.
And interestingly, I’ve begun to understand myself even more.
Significantly, there has been more undivided attention in those moments.
As the dialogue emerges from each other’s heart, the conversations are vulnerable and delicate.
Maybe it’s because for the first time in a while I have more time and am less distracted, but I have found that I am more thoughtful, more compassionate and found it easier to listen with more love.
I have learned to listen, reflect and respond in that order once more.
And I have also been reminded that without having open vulnerable dialogue – we cannot and will not grow.
Moments of struggle have been openly shared.
It is important too, to mean what you say and say what you mean.
Someone once said ““The beauty of a heart-to-heart conversation is that it allows us to share our deepest fears, joys, and dreams, knowing that we will be met with empathy and kindness.”
As I restart my coaching practice, I look forward to many more of these quite remarkable conversations.
“We are only as strong as we are united, as weak as we are divided.” – J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire)
When was the last time you had a heart-to-heart conversation with someone?
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