Learning Patience

Almost daily, I pass this traffic light as I set forth on any journey out of Leidschendam.
More often than not (it seems to me) it is red, just like you see above.
Recently, I had an experience, that I’m sure many may be able to relate too.
For those of you who know me well, I have a propensity to be prompt!
Early one morning last week, as we were setting off just a little late for interviews in Rotterdam, we got halfway towards this light and then realised that we’d forgotten something in the house. A quick turnaround, and then we were back on our way.
To get to the motorway, there are four sets of traffic lights that we encounter.
The first one above, is a bit of a bottleneck, as it leads to a narrow bridge where only one vehicle can cross at a time, hence the set of traffic lights at either side. That morning, it was at red. After a few minutes of patiently waiting, we crossed the bridge
100 metres further, is traffic light number 2, at a T-Junction. Again, it was at red. We waited once again for a couple of minutes before it turned green.
Turning right, we travelled another 200 metres and approached traffic light number 3. What a surprise, yep…red again. It was another minute or two before it turned green.
Turning left, I approached the final set of traffic lights at a major intersection with lights galore. My light was of course red – it had to be! By this time, I’m feverishly watching the lights to see when it is going to be our turn to move. 2 minutes felt like forever.
Four red in a row…. ☹
One interesting fact, that morning, we were the first car (in a line of cars) at every light, meaning that on every occasion we approached the traffic lights that morning, they had just turned red!

The lesson! 😊

I think I have finally (I hope) learned that it is not the traffic – it is me!
Over the years I understand that it is not what happens in your day that makes you mad, it’s who you are and how you handle what happens in your day that makes the difference.
Patience means actively waiting and enduring trials well.
Delays help me with one great lesson – 𝐏𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐩𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐞!
The Apostle Paul gave the purpose of patience in his epistle to the Saints in Rome, in Romans 5:3-4 we read; “We glory in tribulations … knowing that tribulation worketh patience. And patience, experience; and experience, hope.”
I believe that being patient is a divine attribute and for many of us it may take many years to develop fully.
We should learn to be patient with ourselves.
In what area of your life do you struggle to be patient?

Signatures

“That simply cannot be…” I thought puzzlingly to myself – “another 𝒄𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒄𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒆?”
Let me explain……
Coincidence – “an occasion when two or more similar things happen at the same time, especially in a way that is unlikely and surprising”
Last Sunday, both Monic and I spoke in the Apeldoorn Stake Conference. I chose to speak on a question that is regularly posed to our missionaries, “During the past month, how have you seen the hand of the Lord in your work?”
In my talk, I shared a few quotes from a number of different missionaries in response to that question.
Regularly, in my daily journal writing I also record experiences that are simply beyond mere coincidence.
Quite frankly, in recent months I have seen this manifest…. constantly.
President Thomas S. Monson said, “When we are on the Lord’s errand, we are entitled to the Lord’s help.”

Signatures

In my personal library of good books, one of my favourites is “Divine Signatures.”
Author Gerald N. Lund learned that with the Lord, there are no coincidences, only sacred autographs.
“Sometimes the Lord sends his blessings in such a highly unusual way, dramatic or precisely timed manner, that it might be likened to a ‘divine signature,'” Lund writes. “It is as though the Lord ‘signs’ the blessing personally so that we will know with certainty that it comes from him. In doing so, God not only gives his blessing, but at the same time he strengthens our faith and deepens our testimony of him.”
I want to share my testimony of that (and I am choosing my words carefully) – 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐭.
I am now a witness to the fact that, day in, day out, week in, week out, I see tender mercies of the Lord Jesus Christ and His divine signature manifest in the details of our missionary service, it is His confirming hand.
The Lord’s signature is in the details.
Yesterday, I had a personal testimony of another one to add to the list of a multitude of others.
A faith filled conversation in the morning, a faith filled action in the afternoon, manifest a remarkable coincidence or in essence a divine signature of the Lord only a few hours later in the evening.
And the result?
Another sure witness that The Lord is in the details of each of our lives.
I hope that we can all recognise the hand of the Lord in our lives and in everything around us.
Exercise your faith in Him, stop, pause and reflect, then ask yourself “how have I seen the Lord’s hand in my life today?”

How do you honour someone?

How do you honour someone?
If you are the Queen, you may confer a title or an honour such as an MBE, OBE, CBE (Member, Officer, Commander of the British Empire) or perhaps a Knighthood or Damehood. There are many others, but these are the most well-known.
Only one of the Ten Commandments comes with a stated promise: “Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee” see Exodus 20:12.
At University, my bachelor’s degree, was given with “Honours” for my extra year of study.
At High School, I was honoured by receiving the school colours for representing the school in various sporting events.
According to the word’s definition, to honour means to treat someone or regard them with special attention and respect, to value, or to esteem highly.
Do you do these things with family members, friends or even complete strangers?
Perhaps it is also about accepting someone as they are and appreciating them for who they are.
What can you do?
Here are my top ten tips to honour someone…
– Treat others with respect
– Cheer someone on
– Listen, listen, then listen a little more
– Celebrate accomplishments
– Be curious and ask questions
– Be understanding
– Serve and help them
– Pay them a compliment
– Show compassion
– Appreciate your differences
You don’t have to be the Queen to bestow an honour.
You can honour someone by the way you act, every day.
Who will you choose to honour today?

Look Up!

Look Up!
“I try to avoid looking forward or backward, and try to keep looking upward” – Charlotte Bronte.
In the busy, incessant nature of life, do you ever feel as if you have got caught up in the thick of thin things?
I recall one experience recently, when my to do list had 50+ actions on it – all urgent!
Something had to change.
Simply stated, I had been walking around for too long with my head down, scurrying about from one thing to the next.
Sound familiar?
In our families, our homes and far too frequently in our workplaces, we can become too narrowly focused on the next email, the next conference call, the next meeting or become concerned about a troublesome conversation from weeks ago.
Then, sometimes I catch myself, I come back to the present moment, and I remember to look up and see what matters most.
Have you paused to reflect and look up recently?
I know that the simple action – to look up – will help you to see more of your own world.
It’s hard to be down when you are looking up.
As you board the bus, train, plane, tube, step into the car, or walk to work today, or even in your lunch hour – catch yourself, come back to the present moment – look up – and see!
Behold the wonders all around.

Honour, Help, Obey

Growing up in Scotland, I enjoyed going to cub scouts for a while.
At the start of every gathering, we would commence by standing, reciting and learning together the value of the Scout Promise –
“On my honour, I promise that I will do my best
To do my duty to God and to the Queen,
To help other people
And to keep the Scout Law”
All encapsulated in the scout salute – honour, help, obey.
I really enjoyed one week in particular with the cub scouts…. “Bob-a-job” was a well known phrase in the 1970’s.
As a cub scout, I recall doing various jobs for a “bob” a “shilling” or 5p in today’s money. I guess these days that 5p would be worth about £1.50 now. Essentially, through simple tasks, we were gaining the opportunity to do a little work and at the same time, doing something good in the community.
Little things oftentimes make a huge difference – and I believe it did for me. I remember knocking on many doors and giving out a yellow sticker for them to place in their windows – whenever a job was done.
In our lives, there are many opportunities for us to make commitments in each of these three values. By and by, I have learned that there is great safety and power in each principle, by choosing to live them daily.
I hope that we all look for opportunities to honour others, not only to do right, but to do good—not to be seen of others, but because it is simply the right thing to do.
How can you honour someone today?

Are you drifting?

One of the common traps of life is 𝒅𝒓𝒊𝒇𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈.

From time to time, all of us are likely to drift.

It is easy to get caught up in the currents of life, outside influences and being carried along with the crowds.

Perhaps you are stuck on autopilot, aimlessly sleepwalking through each and every day, tossed to and fro like a piece of driftwood floating on the seas?

Are you drifting?

Do you know that feeling?

Drift: “to move slowly, especially as a result of outside forces, with no control over direction”

Is this what you really want from life, simply to drift?

At some point, just like the driftwood, you’ll be washed up on the shoreline, and may ask yourself, “how did I get here, why am I here, where am I going?”

Have you been washed up yet?

Is it time to take stock and find your purpose in life?

Are you looking for a light to help you navigate through the stormy waters of life?

Now What?

I recall at my father’s funeral, a male choir formed of sons, grandsons, and sons-in-law, sang for him his favourite song:

“Brightly beams our father’s mercy from his lighthouse evermore,

But to us he gives the keeping of the lights along the shore.

Chorus

Let the lower lights be burning; send a gleam across the wave;

Some poor fainting, struggling seaman you may rescue; you may save.

Dark the night of sin has settled; loud the angry billows roar.

Eager eyes are watching, longing, for the lights along the shore.

Chorus

Trim your feeble lamp, my brother; some poor sailor, tempest tossed,

Trying now to make the harbour, in the darkness may be lost.

Chorus

Jesus Christ can help you to stop drifting through life.  He says in John 8:12 “I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life”

The gospel will act as an anchor and stop your drift.

Is it time to stop drifting?

Disappointment

After coming in contact with someone with Covid this week, we’ve been in isolation for a few days.
Yesterday, despite our great determination, because of a number of growing cases of covid in the mission, we took a difficult decision to postpone (again) a mission conference, planned for the week ahead, with a visiting general authority of the church.
Our hopes were dashed once more…
Disappointment, discouragement and being a little down were not far from our thoughts yesterday, as we knew the impact the decision would have on our missionaries. Dealing with disappointment is not easy and it brings a kind of sadness with it too.

What did we learn?

Yet, setbacks are part of our experience as human beings.
I have learned in life too, that as we deal with disappointments, we need to understand that these temporary blips in our lives are just that — temporary!
The key, however, is to boldly face disappointments and to master and control the emotions that arise.
Maybe it is required of all of us to know that through disappointments in life we may experience that which was taught in Doctrine & Covenants 29:39 “if they never should have bitter, they could not know the sweet.”
All that said, in one of my favourite scriptures we read in Doctrine and Covenants 61:36, “And now, verily I say unto you, and what I say unto one I say unto all, be of good cheer, little children; for I am in your midst, and I have not forsaken you.”
So – in the midst of our disappointment yesterday, after dealing with and sharing our emotions with one another, we chose to change and cheer ourselves up. We put things into perspective!
It was our day off after all.
We put up the table tennis table and played for a little while. Then we had a game of Sequence, we ate some warming soup, had a chocolate or two, and finally we listened and danced to some cheerful Irish folk music – all of which lifted our spirits.
What do you do to overcome disappointments?

Time

As a teenager, only moments ago, I had time aplenty. However, youth moves quickly to maturity.
Now, in my mid 50’s – I’m acutely aware of my mortality, my time here on earth is running out!
Families that were once young, are then grown, and then gone.
If we have lived through half a century, a quarter or even a fifth of a century, we know how quickly time has come and gone.
Like me, if you have lived through half a century, then you’ll know as I do that two times our lifetime isn’t very long at all!
Time is so full and yet so fleeting, and upon its use depends all the possibilities that there are.
Sometimes we can think of the past as a thing quite apart from the present. Really they are one eternal round.
As Goethe put it, “things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least.”
Jack N. Gerard observed “We live in a world of information overload, dominated by ever-increasing distractions that make it more and more difficult to sort through the commotion of this life. Unless we take the time to reflect, we may not realise the impact of this fast-paced environment on our daily lives and the choices we make.”
As I flick through TV channels, or scroll through social media, too often I find a world saturated with incessant noise, much of which is too loud, garish and crude. We need to pause and contemplate what we choose to do with the precious gift of time, before we fritter it away in frivolous “trivial tripe!” said James E Faust.
We don’t need more time. We have all the time there is. No one has more of it than each of us has. We must manage ourselves accordingly, rather than allowing conditions to manage us. Step back from the world – ask yourself how will I measure my life?
Words may change, styles may change, the man-made manner of life may change, but the stars in the heaven retain their course, and I know that our Father in Heaven and Jesus Christ, the creator of heaven and earth and all things are, remain in command.
“Time is clearly not our natural dimension. This it is that we are never really at home in time because we belong to eternity. Time, as much as any one thing, whispers that we are strangers here.” Neal A. Maxwell.
Treasure your time, value it, use it wisely. Much will come from very little effort if we slow down, observe and see.
How will you choose to use your time allotment today?

Improving!

“Wees niet bang om fouten te maken, iedereen die een nieuwe taal leert, maakt fouten!”

In other words, don’t be afraid to make mistakes, anyone who learns a new language makes mistakes!

After a few months in the Netherlands, words to that affect frequently run through my mind.

That said however, I had a funny experience at Schiphol Airport last week, whilst picking up the new arriving missionaries.

Whilst Monic and I, along with Elder Ornelas were waiting for the final missionary to arrive at Gate 2, I was approached by a complete stranger, looking for directions to the other arrival gates 3 & 4.

Having just come from gate 3, I gave him the directions in my best Dutch, pointing at the same time…

“Ga rechtdoor, dan rechtsaf, 100 meter rechtdoor en dan is het aan u rechterhand”

He thanked me and then headed off in that direction.

I turned back to Monic and Elder Ornelas, and it struck me that this was very similar to that moment when Elder Calhoun in the movie “The Best Two Years” directed a complete stranger at the railway station.  For those of you who have seen the movie, you will recall that precise moment.  If you haven’t see the movie – then watch it, it has to be one of the best movies about life in the mission field.

We laughed together as we talked about the movie and Elder Calhoun!

In that moment, I realised without thinking that my Dutch is improving!!

What is improving for you right now, that you may not have noticed?

Curiosity

Out for a walk in the Scheveningse Bosjes yesterday, “that’s an unusual looking dog” we said to each other.
It looked a little bit like a labradoodle.
Curiously we asked the lady walking her dog’s “what kind of dog is that one?”
“He’s a curly haired retriever” she said.
We’d never heard or seen that breed before.
Many curious questions followed, and the conversation flowed easily.
Curiosity was driving our questioning.
Curiosity – “A strong desire to know or learn something.”
Curiosity is a genuine spirit of open enquiry, mixed with a keen desire to learn, all of which is centred upon a willingness to discover new things.
Prior to serving here in the Netherlands as missionaries, genuine curiosity, was an essential part of my coaching practice.
Frequently we learn by simply being curious like a child.
Yesterday, curiosity was driving our questions to the lady about her dog. Subsequently, I researched a little more about the breed.
In a similar manner, many people often ask us questions about our church service here in the Netherlands.
• Why are you here?
• What do you actually do?
• How long do you serve?
• What is the Book of Mormon?
• Do you believe in Jesus Christ?
• What does your church believe about life after death?
• Why do you build Temples?
All these are great questions driven by curiosity.
So – what are you curious about?
If you’d like to find some answers to these questions or more, simply pm me. I’ll be happy to answer any genuinely curious question about our faith and service in Belgium and the Netherlands. 😊
PS – post mission life, this may be the type of dog we’ll be looking for!! 😉