Tag Archive for: trust

Let Go and Grow

Some experiences in life are so deep, emotional and meaningful, that it can be difficult to let go and move on.
 
We find security and comfort in clinging to possessions, roles, titles, and identities.
 
Yet we all go through this process many times in our lives.
 
These things provide us with a sense of self worth, continuity and stability in a very unpredictable world.
 
Loosening our grip on them, or sometimes being forced to do so, can bring with it, uncertainty and fear.
 
I have learned that we are naturally wired to seek stability and familiarity.
 
Letting go can feel like losing a part of who we are.
 
And yet for many of us the unknown is frightening!
 
Life changes, people move on, titles shift.
 
As we’ve discovered recently, even the physical possessions we carefully store away (in our big loft – those things we forgot we even had) often lose their meaning over time.
 
And yet, we resist letting go because it forces us to confront the unknown.
 
One of life’s greatest lessons and one of my biggest challenges is learning to accept that relationships evolve.

Acceptance

 
Acceptance means acknowledging and valuing the significance of what you’re releasing, while also understanding and embracing the need to move ahead.
 
While we often imagine the people, we cherish will stay with us forever, the reality is that connections naturally shift, change and move on.
 
Embracing this truth, allows me to appreciate others much more deeply in the present moment, honour those seasons of our relationships, and gracefully welcome new connections when the time arrives to move on.
 
Letting go, isn’t about forgetting or dismissing the past, it’s about making space for what’s next.
 
When we loosen our grip, we open ourselves to growth, fresh opportunities, and deeper meaning in our lives.
 
Why not start small and let go of one thing, an old habit, a long-held expectation, or even a physical object you no longer need.
 
Notice how it feels.
 
Sometimes, releasing something minor can build the confidence to embrace bigger changes with greater ease.
 
In the end, letting go isn’t about loss, it’s about making room for something new.
 
What fears surface when you consider letting go?

The Blessing of Waiting…

When a mother is expecting her baby, the anticipation grows with each passing day.

For our daughter Megan, now overdue with her first child, the wait may feel endless.

Much like pregnancy, life itself is full of waiting periods that test our faith and refine our patience – a hot topic in our recent conversations!

The Lord’s Timing

Yet this period of waiting and preparing mirrors a gospel principle we are all called to live by: faith in the Lord’s timing.

Through the gospel of Jesus Christ, we learn that God’s blessings come according to His divine timetable, not ours.

In the scriptures, the word wait means to hope, to anticipate, and to trust.

The scriptures teach us: “For ye have need of patience, that, after ye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise.” (Hebrews 10:36)

Pregnancy, like life itself, reminds us that much of our joy comes from learning to trust that the Lord knows when blessings should arrive.

Preparation

Just as Megan has prepared her home, her heart, and her body for this new baby, we, too, are asked to prepare spiritually while waiting for answers, blessings, and miracles.

In our home, we have a beautiful painting depicting the Saviour’s parable of the ten virgins (Matthew 25:1-13).

Five were wise and made the most of their waiting time, ensuring they had enough oil for their lamps.

Similarly, waiting for a baby – just like waiting for any of God’s blessings – is a time to spiritually “gather oil.”

For Megan, the waiting has certainly allowed her to grow in patience and hope, enduring her final quiet and sometimes uncomfortable moments, before life changes forever.

For us in life, it’s about staying spiritually ready, trusting that the Lord’s promises will be fulfilled in His way and time.

The baby’s arrival—whether today, tomorrow, or in a few days—will happen at the exact moment God has lovingly planned.

The scriptures teach that God’s timing is always perfect: “To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.” (Ecclesiastes 3:1)

Just as birth happens on God’s timeline, not ours, so do the blessings we seek in life.

And when they finally come, the waiting and preparing make the joy that much sweeter.

In this life, we are all “waiting” for the ultimate promise: to return to our Heavenly Father and be reunited with our eternal family.

When Megan holds the baby in her arms for the first time, I’m sure the waiting will be but a memory, a beautiful reminder of the blessing of trusting in the Lord’s perfect plan.

What blessings have you discovered during your own seasons of waiting?

The Laboratory of Life

Life is a laboratory, much like the scientific lab where our son Kyle works tirelessly to test and refine ideas.
As a PhD student in Chemistry, Kyle’s experiments often lead to setbacks, frustrations, and occasional breakthroughs.
He invests countless hours in refining, testing and validating something over long periods of time, transforming theories into realities.
Sometimes he fails, things don’t go quite as expected and yet every small action he takes, contributes to the bigger picture.
Yet, through his experiments with different strategies, learning from those experiences, continuously pushing forward that ultimately leads to success and sometimes unexpected results.
His insights and knowledge grow through his struggles.

Life Lessons

Like Kyle’s research, life provides opportunities to learn from successes and failures, just as those experiments do for him in his laboratory.
Similarly, life’s challenges and experiences test our character, faith, and resilience, shaping us into who we are meant to become.
Our everyday experiences and situations act like a science lab, where we learn, experiment, and observe how to navigate different challenges and situations.
Like Kyle’s experiments, each of us are in a way, proven in the laboratory of our own life.
Sometimes in life, things don’t go quite as we had hoped or planned.
We experiment with our human experience, and through our struggles, our efforts and hard work, truths are established.
I believe that the purpose of all of our life experiences, or those testing experiments we sometimes endure, help us to grow and become more like our Saviour Jesus Christ.
Personal trials, family difficulties, financial struggles, and health crises, each push our faith to new limits.
By facing each trial, we learn more about ourselves, and more about the gospel principles that can carry us through each test.
In my own laboratory of time, my testimony has been shaped not by one grand moment, but by a thousand small experiments, to trust in God.
“..awake and arouse your faculties, even to an experiment upon my words, and exercise a particle of faith,… even if ye can no more than desire to believe.” – Alma 32:27
Just like Kyle’s scientific procedures that establish truths, a spiritual experiment produces, conviction, knowledge, light and eternal truths.
Begin your spiritual experiment today.
Act on even the smallest desire to follow Christ, and watch as your faith grows into conviction.

Are you dependable?

In life, one value stands out as a true game-changer: dependability.
Whether it’s at work, in friendships, or in family relationships, being dependable builds trust and strengthens bonds.
So, what does it mean to be dependable, and why is it so important?
On returning home from Belgium and the Netherlands recently, we needed some help with some home repairs.
I explained the situation to my bother in law Ali, along with another friend Tony and they promised to come along one day, when I’d hire a ladder.
The duly appointed Thursday arrived.
What would have happened after all the planning, costs and arrangements if they were nowhere to be found?
How do you think that would have made me feel?
Probably frustrated, let down, or even hurt.
Now – flip that around!
The duly appointed Thursday arrived.
Both Ali and Tony arrived early, we worked on around six projects inside and outside, completed all the work in a timely manner and had a bit of fun too!
The cost of their labour – I treated them to lunch from the local bakery!
The priceless message was this – I could count on them!
If you make a commitment – do you live up to it?
Dependability isn’t just about keeping promises—though that’s a big part of it!
It’s also about consistency, reliability and responsibility.
At work, being dependable means your team can trust that you’ll meet deadlines and complete tasks to the best of your ability.
In friendships and relationships, dependability is key to forming meaningful, deep, lasting connections.
When people know they can trust you, it strengthens the connections between you.
So, ask yourself: are you dependable?
If the answer is yes, you’re already on the path to success.
If not, don’t beat yourself up too much, dependability is something you can build.
Start today by making small pledges and keeping them and watch how it positively impacts every part of your life.
Can you be counted on?

Stretching, Growing and Learning

Over many years, I have had the opportunity and privilege to work in many leadership roles.
Lessons in leadership come in many ways.
I’ve certainly been stretched on many occasions as I struggled to get my head around the particular challenge of the day.
I’ve grown too in knowledge and understanding about how to handle many difficult situations.
And, I have learned so much about people, behaviours and what it means to be a good leader by putting the interests and needs of others first.
Oftentimes, I have benefited too from the guidance of other leaders who have inspired me.
Reflecting upon the last three years in Belgium and the Netherlands, working with 300+ young 18 – 26-year-old future potential leaders, I learned many lessons.

Stretching…

Time and time again, stretching opportunities came along for each of them to learn new skills.
Daily, growth opportunities arose for all of them to take on new challenges.
And regularly they all had opportunities to receive constructive feedback through 1-1 and team coaching/mentoring sessions.
Together we celebrated our successes.
When times were tough, when failures happened, we’d counsel with one another and figure out how to improve.
We learned a lot about slowing down.
Partnering with them, empowering them and trusting them to deliver their best work was key.
In any new growth situation, where we are learning and growing, our focus on what matters most is paramount.
Stretching happened every day.
And like many physical exercises, it is easy to grow tired!
No pain, no gain!
Small steps and little victories are key to forward progress.
Leadership guru, John Maxwell whilst speaking about the Law of the Rubber Band said; “Growth stops when you lose the tension between where you are and where you could be. There are many uses for a rubber band, but it’s of no use or value until it’s stretched.”
Just like a rubber band, you will never reach your full potential unless you are stretched!
Frequently, I was asked “How do I become a better leader?”
To start, take yourself out of your comfort zone and be prepared to be stretched.
Embrace the tension and put the resistance to work!
What kind of things are stretching you at the moment?

The Multiplier Effect

I offered a 1 Euro coin to the missionaries on Friday.
“How much is that worth” I asked?
“1 Euro” came the reply.
I inquired further, “Are you sure?”
“Yes” he said.
I responded, “It’s actually worth a lot more than that, let me show you how.”
I purchased a random item from the first missionary with the 1 Euro coin.
Then he purchased an item from the second missionary in line with the same 1 Euro coin.
The second bought something from the third, and the third bought something from the fourth, with the same 1 Euro coin.
As if by magic, the 1 Euro coin had now become worth 4 Euro’s.
Repeating the process, 1 Euro can become worth thousands of Euro’s.

The Multiplier

In economics it’s called the 𝒎𝒖𝒍𝒕𝒊𝒑𝒍𝒊𝒆𝒓 𝒆𝒇𝒇𝒆𝒄𝒕.
Multiplying means to increase or cause to increase greatly in number or quantity.
I’ve learned that there are, earthly economic principles and divine eternal principles of multiplying – it depends on who is doing the work.

Scripturally

For instance, the scriptures are filled with stories of multiplying.
In each of the Gospels, we read about the 𝑮𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒕 𝑴𝒖𝒍𝒕𝒊𝒑𝒍𝒊𝒆𝒓, our Saviour Jesus Christ, feeding the 5,000 with five loaves and two fishes.
We understand that after the breaking, came the giving.
In Mark 6:42-43 we read “And they did all eat and were filled. And they took up twelve baskets full of the fragments, and of the fishes.”
The multiplication was a result of His work, not our work.
To meet a great need, He always starts with what we have.
I know that Jesus Christ is an expert at multiplication.
Time and time again, our Saviour takes something small, ordinary, seemingly irrelevant, and multiplies it into something amazing, remarkable and of eternal significance.

Starting Small

I find it interesting that He always starts small.
The loaves and fishes were broken by His hands.
Sometimes we are broken too, before we see the blessings of the Great multiplier.
Tenderly, He will multiply your faith, your hope, your love, your joy and your worth.
He can supply all that you need, in abundance.
Let Him be your 𝑮𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒕 𝑴𝒖𝒍𝒕𝒊𝒑𝒍𝒊𝒆𝒓.
Ask the missionaries – they’ll help you understand.

Touched – First Hand

Many years ago, shortly after graduating from University, I was working in a sales role.
One day, my colleague and I visited a key client.
We had been trying to close a large sales opportunity for a while.
It was proving to be difficult to reach agreement with our client.
We’d negotiated on a whole range of different requirements, yet more objections kept arising.

Reaching out…

Finally, having answered many questions, and sensing there were even more coming, I leaned across the table to the main buyer, I touched her subtly on the wrist, looked her straight in the eye and said, “Everything is going to be just fine.”
In the moment, it just felt like the right thing to do.
It was a risky manoeuvre! Probably even more so today.
Yet – it changed her.
The message was simply “trust me.”
She was comforted and reassured.
In response, she took me by the hand, looked me in the eye and said “Deal!”
Touch is a powerful sensation, a universal language, and that day, was quite profound.
Being touched physically is one thing, but to be touched in your heart by the power of the Holy Ghost, is quite another.
It is a powerful sensation, a universal language that is always subtle, quite profound, comforting and reassuring.

Touched – when?

I have felt the touch of the Holy Ghost first hand, on many occasions in my life.
– When I kneel to pray
– As I study and ponder the scriptures
– When a missionary shares their witness of Jesus Christ
– As I listen to beautiful inspiring music
– When I partake of the Sacrament
– Upon visiting the House of the Lord
– Giving a blessing to someone for comfort, counsel or healing
– Attending a baptismal service
– Through a kind act of compassionate service
– Teaching a lesson with the missionaries.
“And by the power of the Holy Ghost, ye can know the truth of all things.” – Moroni 10:5
The tender touch of the Holy Ghost softens your heart and soul.
He can touch your heart too – first hand.
Ask the missionaries to help you understand the universal language of the Holy Ghost.

Hold on

It was a simple example…
Last week we met with our Mission Leadership Council in our home.
It is always a powerful experience as we talk, share and counsel together.
A few themes emerged in our session.
Followership and Discipleship were two of them.
The flip side of leadership is followership.
Powerful followership is not about being blindly obedient or passively compliant; it involves active engagement, participation, constructive thinking, shared responsibility, taking direction and to 𝒉𝒐𝒍𝒅 𝒐𝒏.
It matters – a lot!
With the help of one of the missionaries, I used a teaching exercise that captured an insightful message.
I asked Brigitta Broadbent to stand and extend her hand a few inches below my own hand.
Then, I invited her to follow the movements of my hand from side to side and up and down.
I moved my hand rapidly and unpredictably.
Although Brigitta did well, it was evident for all to see that as the follower, she often fell behind.
I asked Brigitta and the others how could she do better?
Their response…?
It was simple really…
Trusting me, she clasped my hand and held on.
We tried again.
The result?
It was easy for Brigitta to follow my hand movements with exactness and precision.
Similarly, every missionary, as a follower and disciple of Jesus Christ, works tirelessly to be as close to Jesus Christ, by holding on to Him.
Daily, they place their nametags next to their hearts, as a constant reminder as to who they follow and cling to.
Part of following Jesus Christ is leading others to Him.
Neal A. Maxwell said: “We cannot lead or draw others to Christ unless we stand closer to Him than they do.”
How can you be a better follower?

Faith v Fear – The Mull of Kintyre

Counselling many of the missionaries as they return home, reminded me of this experience from a few years ago.  I’ve shared it before, but it is time to share it again….

It was 2002. Setting off in the early hours of the morning, I knew it was going to be a very, very long day.

In fact, not one that I was particularly looking forward too. Following a client visit in Dumbarton, I arrived in Campbeltown around lunchtime. However, the journey down along the A83 that day was absolutely stunning – Scotland at its very best!. I was there on a sales visit with a supplier, who was demonstrating a new CCTV system to a large new potential client. It was only 175 miles from home, but it had taken over 4 hours to get there. After another 4 hours of demonstration, it was time to turn around and head home. By this time, it had gone 6pm. There wasn’t much of a rush hour down there, in fact I decided that I would take a leisurely drive back home. I didn’t have any real haste. The lessons learned over those next few hours were unquestionably a pivotal point in my life.

My Journey home

As I started back up the A83, the sun started to set. My thoughts turned from the demonstration of the afternoon, to much more important questions – such as “What am I doing with my life?”, “I’m not in the least bit interested in CCTV – so why am I driving for hours on end selling this stuff anyway?” “Is this just all about the money?”

As the light started to fade I pulled over to look over the sea towards Northern Ireland to view the onset of the night sky. It was a beautiful clear evening. As I was reflecting on all those questions and more, I witnessed several shooting stars as well as the Northern lights (for the first time), in all their majesty.

I gazed heavenward, it was a quite remarkable, inspiring light show.

I stood for a while fascinated by the beauty of creation. Those few moments had a real impact upon me. I started for home determined to face the future with much more faith and to embark upon a career journey that would enable me to get up every day and really love what I was doing.

Career Choices

That career journey has taken lots of twists and turns over the ensuing 21 years. There have been numerous difficult decisions. Lots and lots of personal procrastination, other seemingly more important priorities, along with mega doubts & fears within myself that I could actually do something that I loved.

The journey also included two redundancies, a challenging selection of opportunities in between, mixed with a real belief that I could eventually take the leap of faith, face the fear of the unknown and start on my own.

The differentiators?

A supportive family – who put up with me long enough and encouraged me to turn the dream into a reality. Supportive colleagues over many years, who helped me to understand the capabilities that I had been gifted with and developed over a long period of time. All of whom helped me develop my faith and take that step into the unknown. Thank you one and all.

“Smiles in the sunshine and tears in the rain
Still take me back where my memories remain
Flickering embers go higher and higher
As they carry me back to the Mull of Kintyre”

These are the words from the third verse of Paul McCartney’s – Wings #1 Hit record – The Mull of Kintyre. I have often reflected upon my journey that day and these words have always inspired me to reach for higher ideals, values and purpose in life.

So, it is with all of us – don’t settle for the mundane – in fact never settle for it!

It is important for each of us to have those meaningful conversations with ourselves and nearest and dearest about happiness and what makes each of us tick! If you are stuck in an unhappy career, perhaps its much more to do with your personal motivators.

Now is not the time to revisit Herzberg’s Motivation theory – around incentives and hygiene factors – but I wish to encourage you to look deep inside yourself and question the reason and purpose of your work – is it meaningful – is it what you really want to do? Looking inward is the critical step, to face up to your fear. Now is the time for faith – not fear!

I love this quote from a wise leader Boyd K. Packer, he stated… “Faith, to be faith, must centre around something that is not known. Faith, to be faith, must go beyond that for which there is confirming evidence. Faith, to be faith, must go into the unknown. Faith, to be faith, must walk to the edge of the light, and then a few steps into the darkness.”

One of my favourite poems is by Christopher Logue.

Come to the edge.
We might fall.
Come to the edge.
It’s too high!
COME TO THE EDGE!
And they came,
and he pushed,
and they flew.

As you consider your challenges at home, at school, or in the workplace – reflect upon those things that really matter most.

Face up to your fears, look inside and take those first few steps into the darkness – you can do it!

Trust

“What will be our focus?” I was asked.
In a flash my thoughts returned to an experience from 25 years ago.
I recalled one client visit, where I was approaching the close of a sale. I vividly remember that I leaned over to the client, touching her on the wrist and said “it will be okay.” I’m not quite sure what came over me, but it was a powerful act of reassurance that closed the sale. It was one of those “in the moment” experiences and it just felt like the right thing to do. It was all a matter of 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐭.
𝐓𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐭 is the key to building strong relationships – i.e. to rely upon or place confidence in someone or something.
Reflecting on that experience many times over, it was a particularly dangerous move, violating her personal space, touching someone, even just momentarily, that I hardly knew. If that were to happen today, I’d possibly be accused of something much more sinister!
Someone then asked…

“How do we build trust?”

I shared the trust equation.
– Credibility, the words we speak.
– Reliability, the actions we take and things we do.
– Intimacy, the stories we tell and how safe others feel around us.
– Self orientation, the extent we focus on ourselves or others.
In their book “The Trusted Advisor”(Maister, Green and Galford), propose that the level of trust we have with a person will depend on the depth of our personal relationship (intimacy & self-interest) and the breadth of issues that they are willing to discuss with us (credibility & reliability). Increasing the level of any of the variables in the numerator increases the level of trustworthiness. Decreasing the value of the denominator – will have the same effect. In other words, we can increase the level of trust in a relationship by focusing on any of these four factors.
“Trust is the glue of life. It is the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It’s the most foundational principle that holds all relationships.” – Stephen Covey.
That one intimate moment, coupled with credibility, reliability and focusing on the needs of others was the the foundation of my sales career. Little did I know it at the time, but my determination to live and breathe those principles in my daily actions, were the key to success.
Time will pass, but when trust is present, years will go by and it will seem as if it was but the twinkling of an eye.