Tag Archive for: Relationships

Post Mission Life

Voicemails
Letters
Emails
Videocalls
Zoom calls
Phone calls
Instagram messages
Facebook messages
WhatsApp messages
BeReal photos
Text messages
And many more…
And best of all personal visits too!
It was a great to have a visit yesterday with Eleanor and her husband Paul.
Thanks for coming, it was such a joy to catch up. 😊
This has been the norm since arriving home from our mission in Belgium and the Netherlands.
Daily, there are messages from missionaries about many things!
A marriage announcement.
Asking for a reference for a new position.
Requiring a recommendation for a university application.
A request for a coaching conversation.
A baby is on the way!
When can we come and visit?
Birthday celebrations
“Its been a long time since we caught up, we should find a time to do so”
“I just wanted to reach out and set up a time when we could talk”
“We’re planning a trip to Scotland…”
“What you up to Pres?”
“Here’s the link for my Homecoming talk”
Silly emojis
Photos galore
And here was me thinking that post mission life could be dreary and dull!
Our relationships continue to grow ever richer and stronger.
It is simply wonderful.
And it will go on forever.
I love it!
And how I love every single one of our missionaries.
They are simply the best of the best.
What’s been the best part of post mission life for you?

Are you dependable?

In life, one value stands out as a true game-changer: dependability.
Whether it’s at work, in friendships, or in family relationships, being dependable builds trust and strengthens bonds.
So, what does it mean to be dependable, and why is it so important?
On returning home from Belgium and the Netherlands recently, we needed some help with some home repairs.
I explained the situation to my bother in law Ali, along with another friend Tony and they promised to come along one day, when I’d hire a ladder.
The duly appointed Thursday arrived.
What would have happened after all the planning, costs and arrangements if they were nowhere to be found?
How do you think that would have made me feel?
Probably frustrated, let down, or even hurt.
Now – flip that around!
The duly appointed Thursday arrived.
Both Ali and Tony arrived early, we worked on around six projects inside and outside, completed all the work in a timely manner and had a bit of fun too!
The cost of their labour – I treated them to lunch from the local bakery!
The priceless message was this – I could count on them!
If you make a commitment – do you live up to it?
Dependability isn’t just about keeping promises—though that’s a big part of it!
It’s also about consistency, reliability and responsibility.
At work, being dependable means your team can trust that you’ll meet deadlines and complete tasks to the best of your ability.
In friendships and relationships, dependability is key to forming meaningful, deep, lasting connections.
When people know they can trust you, it strengthens the connections between you.
So, ask yourself: are you dependable?
If the answer is yes, you’re already on the path to success.
If not, don’t beat yourself up too much, dependability is something you can build.
Start today by making small pledges and keeping them and watch how it positively impacts every part of your life.
Can you be counted on?

The Good Old Days

We are made up of our memories.
And last night a few came flooding back, as Phil Gibbins and I took a stroll down memory lane….
Stepping back in time, we met at our old Oliver Wyman office at 55 Baker Street in London, followed by a meandering walk in the area and then to a favourite restaurant on Marylebone High Street.
We exchanged a warm hug; joyful smiles were ever present, and our conversation flowed easily as we engaged with one another to reminisce about “𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒈𝒐𝒐𝒅 𝒐𝒍𝒅 𝒅𝒂𝒚𝒔”.

Storytelling

As we shared our fun memories, there were stories galore and the air was filled with frequent laughter as we spoke about our crazy antics.
Together we’d weathered some notable experiences during our time frame of shared history, working side by side from 2008 – 2012.
Nostalgic moments, as we felt the power of the past that shaped our present.
Days never to be forgotten!
Over the years, although we’d connected once or twice in bite size chunks on LinkedIn and Zoom, those feelings were simply not the same as seeing each other after such a long time, in real life, to share a drink and meal together.
It was a heart warming reunion, a shared rekindling of a connection that time will never erode.

Life Happens

Life has happened and we are no longer who we once were, the signs of the passage of time had taken their toll!
Our night wasn’t just about the past, as we got caught up on each other’s current lives our aspirations and how much we had changed.
It was an occasion to reflect and appreciate just how far we had come.
A little older and perhaps a little wiser, but still as cantankerous as ever!
“It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.”- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Maintaining ties with the past is so important.
Meeting up with Phil last night reminded me of the old Joseph Parry quote, “Make new friends but keep the old. One is silver, and the other is gold.” – it’s just so true.
As the night came to a close, we recalled our taxi driver “Malcolm” who’d regularly pick us up at Manchester Airport, and the priceless discovery that after all those years he was still on the speed dial of my phone!
Departing, we promised each other that we wouldn’t leave it so many years until we met again, perhaps next time too, with a few other former colleagues alongside for good measure!
What is the most interesting or funniest memory you’ve taken away from a reunion?

Don’t forget to laugh!

A fun experience from Belgium last week.
Departing our hotel room, on the second floor, fully loaded down with all our luggage, we arrived at the lift.
Our unspoken plan was to take the lift to the ground floor reception and checkout.
The visual indicator showed that the lift was on the ground floor “0.”
We both looked at the lift call buttons and independently of each other, we pushed the call buttons.
One button pointed upwards, the other button pointed downwards.
One of us pushed up, the other pushed down.
Quizzically, we looked at one another, thinking “Why did you do that?”
Do you remember the classic book on communication styles, “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” by John Gray?
The book highlights the key differences between how men and women think, act, and communicate.
I must admit – that was my first thought as we stood waiting on the lift to arrive.
We turned to one another again and laughed!
It was a silly moment, but one that highlighted the simple differences between our thinking.
Stepping into the lift, we did finally arrive at our destination, after a short detour upwards, to the third floor!
After 28 years of marriage, our conclusion is this…
No two people ever see all things precisely the same!
Understanding and appreciating one another’s differences is the key to healthy relationships.
And don’t forget to laugh – often!! 😅
𝐀𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐞𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡?

Understanding

“Do you understand what I mean?” he asked.
In many relationships, one of the big barriers to understanding is a lack of communication, a lack of talking things out, a lack of keeping things in the open. Oftentimes whilst counselling, one half of a relationship will sit in brooding silence, hugging any grievances close to their heart, rather than being open and honest.
Pressures can mount, small things are magnified and frequently much more than is true can be imagined in their minds by either party. Fragmentary listening, misinterpretation of ideas, and mistaken meanings of words can cause misunderstandings. And so there is much not knowing, much mistrust, much heartache, much unhappiness and sitting hurting, in silence. Happiness will not survive in pent up places.
So how do we strengthen these relationships?
We need to engage in meaningful conversations.
It all starts with the greatest of all the communication skills, and that is being an effective listener. That means slowing down. Being listened to is one of the highest forms of respect and recognition. Really listening is not about gaining information, rather it is to gain understanding.
Some years ago Marvin J. Ashton said “Communication is more than a sharing of words. It is the wise sharing of emotions, feelings, and concerns. It is the sharing of oneself totally.”
Regularly setting aside time to talk where there are no distractions can help to solve problems.
Why not start today and resolve to listen a little more.
When will you set aside time to communicate and really listen?

3 Principles of Happiness

These last few weeks I have really enjoyed reading my journals.

Whilst doing so, I was reminded of a little story that I’d love to share.

Before we hastily return to our pre-lockdown life, please consider these three principles that have helped me considerably.

https://youtu.be/5WXckWfM2Tw