Tag Archive for: leadership

The Good Old Days

We are made up of our memories.
And last night a few came flooding back, as Phil Gibbins and I took a stroll down memory lane….
Stepping back in time, we met at our old Oliver Wyman office at 55 Baker Street in London, followed by a meandering walk in the area and then to a favourite restaurant on Marylebone High Street.
We exchanged a warm hug; joyful smiles were ever present, and our conversation flowed easily as we engaged with one another to reminisce about “𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒈𝒐𝒐𝒅 𝒐𝒍𝒅 𝒅𝒂𝒚𝒔”.

Storytelling

As we shared our fun memories, there were stories galore and the air was filled with frequent laughter as we spoke about our crazy antics.
Together we’d weathered some notable experiences during our time frame of shared history, working side by side from 2008 – 2012.
Nostalgic moments, as we felt the power of the past that shaped our present.
Days never to be forgotten!
Over the years, although we’d connected once or twice in bite size chunks on LinkedIn and Zoom, those feelings were simply not the same as seeing each other after such a long time, in real life, to share a drink and meal together.
It was a heart warming reunion, a shared rekindling of a connection that time will never erode.

Life Happens

Life has happened and we are no longer who we once were, the signs of the passage of time had taken their toll!
Our night wasn’t just about the past, as we got caught up on each other’s current lives our aspirations and how much we had changed.
It was an occasion to reflect and appreciate just how far we had come.
A little older and perhaps a little wiser, but still as cantankerous as ever!
“It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.”- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Maintaining ties with the past is so important.
Meeting up with Phil last night reminded me of the old Joseph Parry quote, “Make new friends but keep the old. One is silver, and the other is gold.” – it’s just so true.
As the night came to a close, we recalled our taxi driver “Malcolm” who’d regularly pick us up at Manchester Airport, and the priceless discovery that after all those years he was still on the speed dial of my phone!
Departing, we promised each other that we wouldn’t leave it so many years until we met again, perhaps next time too, with a few other former colleagues alongside for good measure!
What is the most interesting or funniest memory you’ve taken away from a reunion?

Stretching, Growing and Learning

Over many years, I have had the opportunity and privilege to work in many leadership roles.
Lessons in leadership come in many ways.
I’ve certainly been stretched on many occasions as I struggled to get my head around the particular challenge of the day.
I’ve grown too in knowledge and understanding about how to handle many difficult situations.
And, I have learned so much about people, behaviours and what it means to be a good leader by putting the interests and needs of others first.
Oftentimes, I have benefited too from the guidance of other leaders who have inspired me.
Reflecting upon the last three years in Belgium and the Netherlands, working with 300+ young 18 – 26-year-old future potential leaders, I learned many lessons.

Stretching…

Time and time again, stretching opportunities came along for each of them to learn new skills.
Daily, growth opportunities arose for all of them to take on new challenges.
And regularly they all had opportunities to receive constructive feedback through 1-1 and team coaching/mentoring sessions.
Together we celebrated our successes.
When times were tough, when failures happened, we’d counsel with one another and figure out how to improve.
We learned a lot about slowing down.
Partnering with them, empowering them and trusting them to deliver their best work was key.
In any new growth situation, where we are learning and growing, our focus on what matters most is paramount.
Stretching happened every day.
And like many physical exercises, it is easy to grow tired!
No pain, no gain!
Small steps and little victories are key to forward progress.
Leadership guru, John Maxwell whilst speaking about the Law of the Rubber Band said; “Growth stops when you lose the tension between where you are and where you could be. There are many uses for a rubber band, but it’s of no use or value until it’s stretched.”
Just like a rubber band, you will never reach your full potential unless you are stretched!
Frequently, I was asked “How do I become a better leader?”
To start, take yourself out of your comfort zone and be prepared to be stretched.
Embrace the tension and put the resistance to work!
What kind of things are stretching you at the moment?

Reading the Room

Some years ago, I was sat in a room in a hi-powered negotiation for a major multi-million-pound contract for the company I was working for.
Discussions, pricing, and contract negotiations had been going on for several weeks.
It was time for our final meeting to agree the contract.
I’ll never forget that meeting, as I did something I’d never done before.

And so it began…

It was immediately evident that they were trying very hard to undo some of our previous agreements to find a more satisfactory arrangement for their company.
I had prepared well for the negotiation and was aware of any concessions that could be made.
Having been through many negotiations before, I knew the importance of being able to read the room, by listening for facts, details, or any signals and feelings that could arise.
Tuning in, I felt the vibe was different than our previous meetings.
I recall the body language, the vocal tones, raised eyebrows, the fleeting smiles and even frowns that day.
Those tiny facial micro expressions helped me to read between the lines, the nuances of what was being said, clues if you will, as to what was actually going on, that helped me to understand the dynamics in the room and individual emotional states.
Essentially, it was about trying to figure out or understand how the others in the room were thinking, without them actually saying something.
I worked hard to mirror and match the energy and tone of the others in order to connect with them.

Tactics

The lead negotiator from the other side was trying very hard to squeeze me on price by another 2% (read tens of thousands of pounds) and were in a hurry to close out the contract negotiations and give me the contract that day.
The win-win for us both, was becoming a win-lose for me.
It just felt-off.
They were keen for me to shake hands and sign the deal.

Now what?

Looking around the room, taking a deep breath, boldly and risking all, I thanked them for their time, closed my folder, packed up and left.
The negotiation was over.
Within an hour, they called me.
The additional 2% demand was removed, I signed, and we agreed the contract.
Whether it’s a presentation to a large audience, or an important meeting or negotiation, be mindful of reading the room.
It takes a little practice, but stop, look and listen for those non-verbal clues, they’re always there.
How can you “read the room” better?

Thinking Together

I marvel at the thoughts, insights and commitment that I see from my colleagues and dear friends in my leadership, learning, coaching, mentoring, training and facilitation network.
It is clear to me that they are learning from their own journeys and experiences of life.
Willingly, freely and regularly they share those learnings with others.
There is a great power in all of our journeys.
There are critical learning points and instruction all along the way.
We just need to slow down long enough to learn those lessons for ourselves.

Potential

As learning protagonists, professional coaches and mentors, our responsibility is to help unleash the real potential of those people with whom we work.
And how do we do that?
One meaningful conversation at a time.
My personal witness is that I have seen many individuals figuratively take a step into the “unknown” with a good coach or mentor by their side.
How have you grown these last few years?
What leadership lessons have you learned through your journey in life?

…thy might

Reflecting this morning, I was mindful of a scripture in Ecclesiastes 9:10.
“Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might…”
In the world in which we live, there is much worthwhile work for every one of us to do.
And when we do, we must remember these words from Solomon in Ecclesiastes.
That we must go and do, whatever it is, with our might!
And going and doing at times may mean a lot of actual work.
And yet, once again, I am grateful for my peers and fellow coaches who have found something to do and choose to go and do it with their might.
With the help of a coach or mentor, all of us must come to an honest, open self-examination, an awareness within, as to who and what we want to be, do and achieve.
“To the noble art of getting things done we must add the more noble art of leaving things undone.” – ancient oriental saying.
Coping with the complex and diverse challenges of everyday life, which by itself, is not an easy task, can upset the balance and harmony we seek.
I know of many good people who care a great deal and are trying very hard to maintain balance, but they sometimes feel overwhelmed and defeated.
If that’s you – then reach out to a good coach or mentor today, with their might, they “might” be able to help you along your journey in life.

Leadership Tools

As a facilitator and a learning protagonist, I have lost count of the number of leadership models shared in workshops.
There are my favourites such as situational leadership, servant leadership, values-based leadership, action centred leadership, adaptive leadership and a whole list of styles and 4-box grids that I have used and am very familiar with.
While most of us can recognise good leadership when we experience or observe it, oftentimes it is hard for us to determine the best model to use in a difficult situation.
Blending leadership models as needed is a popular fix.
But then it struck me.
As I reflected upon the many leadership experiences I’ve had in life, a clear analogy came to mind.

The Garden Shed

As a child, I recall one day that I wanted to go out on my bicycle for a ride.
Forlornly, there were several issues with my bicycle, including a wobbly seat, a flat tyre, a loose wheel, poor brakes, and handlebars that were more than just a little squint.
I’d not been out for a ride in a while and sadly my bicycle had fallen into disrepair.
I called my dad down to the shed in the garden.
He came and looked at the bicycle commenting upon the amount of work it needed to get it back into shape.

The Box of Tools

I recall that he set to work immediately and pulled out a big box of tools.
One small spanner was used to tighten the wobbly seat.
Another set of tools were used to remove the wheel, repair the puncture and blow up the tyre again and tighten it into position.
Dad then got out a set of pliers to fix the brakes.
Finally, another wrench was used to straighten the handlebars.
All in all, using a variety of tools, after a short time, the bicycle was fixed and off I went on my ride with a gleeful smile.
“Dads are great” I thought!

Leadership Lessons

So, it is with leadership.
Oftentimes, whilst managing and leading others we are faced with a vast array of different problems, challenges and issues.
Yet, just like the multitude of tools in my dad’s box, so we too have a broad range of different leadership models to help us resolve/fix/repair/manage/lead even the most mind-boggling obstacles at times.
Tools equip us with solutions.
What new shiny model do you have in your leadership toolbox, or maybe that old well-worn rusty model, over there in the corner is the best solution perhaps?
What tools do you have in your toolbox?

Mission Leadership Council

Every six weeks, the leaders of the mission gather together to counsel about the relevant matters of the day.
Our topics yesterday included:
– Study Your Language (SYL) – daily!
– Teaching the Gospel of Jesus Christ
– Drawing on the Powers of Heaven
– Being united, knit together as one
– Dealing with constant Change
– Hot Chocolate and Sifting – see Luke 22:31-32
– To the Rescue – Ministering to the one.
– Christlike attributes
– Team work
– Communication Skills
– Social Media and Content Updates…
These are very special days, never to be forgotten.
As missionaries come and go in the mission, gaining an understanding of leadership and counselling together, is such an important part of their growth and development.
Oh – and we also like to have a little bit of fun too!
The pictures capture just one of our lively learning activities of the day!

Hold on

It was a simple example…
Last week we met with our Mission Leadership Council in our home.
It is always a powerful experience as we talk, share and counsel together.
A few themes emerged in our session.
Followership and Discipleship were two of them.
The flip side of leadership is followership.
Powerful followership is not about being blindly obedient or passively compliant; it involves active engagement, participation, constructive thinking, shared responsibility, taking direction and to 𝒉𝒐𝒍𝒅 𝒐𝒏.
It matters – a lot!
With the help of one of the missionaries, I used a teaching exercise that captured an insightful message.
I asked Brigitta Broadbent to stand and extend her hand a few inches below my own hand.
Then, I invited her to follow the movements of my hand from side to side and up and down.
I moved my hand rapidly and unpredictably.
Although Brigitta did well, it was evident for all to see that as the follower, she often fell behind.
I asked Brigitta and the others how could she do better?
Their response…?
It was simple really…
Trusting me, she clasped my hand and held on.
We tried again.
The result?
It was easy for Brigitta to follow my hand movements with exactness and precision.
Similarly, every missionary, as a follower and disciple of Jesus Christ, works tirelessly to be as close to Jesus Christ, by holding on to Him.
Daily, they place their nametags next to their hearts, as a constant reminder as to who they follow and cling to.
Part of following Jesus Christ is leading others to Him.
Neal A. Maxwell said: “We cannot lead or draw others to Christ unless we stand closer to Him than they do.”
How can you be a better follower?

Councils

I was excited to receive the picture attached from my dear friend, Eelco Scheltinga, who serves as President of the Den Haag Stake (diocese).

He and I meet regularly to discuss all aspects of missionary work in his stewardship.

In addition, he also meets regularly (like the other Stake Presidents – Angelo Leman, Percy de Wilde and Jerry Bletterman) with his Zone Leaders (ZL’s) and Sister Trainer Leaders (STL’s), who are assigned to work with many missionaries in other wards & branches.

These 5 missionaries are an essential part of the leadership team in his Stake.

I love the fact that he is sitting with them at home, around his dinner table, welcoming them with warmth, love and understanding.

In addition, it’s clear from their smiles, they enjoy meeting with one another!

“Where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them” (Matthew 18:20)

Missionary Council

Meeting together as a missionary council, with purpose, in a spirit of warm-hearted cooperation, they listen to one another, discuss concerns, make plans, set goals and search for solutions to the problems of the day.

Working through councils is a very effective way to get positive results.

Having sat in many councils, I know that when free, open and candid conversation is filled with love, patience, kindness and respect for the differing opinions and points of view that are usually on hand, the council is always a success.

Sparks of inspiration come, and decisions are made to plan and coordinate missionary work.

Scriptures

In the Old Testament, the Prophet Isaiah said; “Come now, and let us reason together” (Isaiah 1:18).

And in our day, we read in Doctrine & Covenants 50:10; “Let us reason together, that ye may understand.”

I know that it is by reasoning together, that we strengthen one another.

“Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety.”  (Proverbs 11:14)

It is clear the council system across our mission is alive and well, it is fully functioning and filled with vibrancy and enthusiasm, thus ensuring safety for each and every one of us.

M. Russell Ballard said those who learn to counsel effectively will “always end up with a better result, always end up with a better answer and, will always end up with a better spirit.”

How can counselling together bless you and your family?

Leadership Behaviours

In my experience the greatest leaders – exemplify all of these behaviours…
Kindness – Patience – Meekness – Humility – Honesty – Forgiving – Commitment – Respectful – Selfless – Obedience – Purposeful.
These are the true qualities, virtues, characteristics and principles of servant or values-based leadership.
They are the very roots of civility, homes and organisations the world over.
There is something reassuring about standing for something and knowing what we stand for.
Those who commit to and pattern their lives on these principles, will always flourish.
What do you stand for?
They may sound old fashioned and to some, even namby pamby, but quite the opposite is true – these are virtues of courage and authority.
Practising them individually and collectively will be a powerful antidote to a multitude of ills & societal problems.
Why not perform a simple act of kindness today.
You won’t regret it; in fact, I believe you will make someone smile.

Rebuilding

It’s been an emotionally charged week in the mission field.
Change is an inevitable part of missionary life. It’s also tiring.
Every six weeks missionaries come and go in the transfer’s process.
This week 5 new missionaries arrived and 13 returned home.
𝑻𝒉𝒊𝒓𝒕𝒆𝒆𝒏, who were the backbone of the mission for so long.
As the backbone, each of these missionaries provided great strength to many others.
Indeed, they were a great support to the entire mission.
We all experience change and in the mission field it is a frequent visitor.

Stretch Zone

As change happens, routines are disrupted, and it takes us out of our comfort zone.
“If you’re growing, you’re always out of your comfort zone.” says John Maxwell.
Missionaries grow a lot, and often!
Change requires rebuilding and others to step up.
New companionships, new areas, new trainers, and new leaders.
Emotions have been running high.
Kindness and compassion take on new meaning during times of stretching change.

Discomforts

C. S. Lewis indicated there is often discomfort in change when he wrote of God’s expectations for His children…
“Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on: you knew those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently he starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of—throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace”.
As a “living house” several missionaries have been asked to step up, to train, and others, to lead.
Rebuilding in the mission is underway (again), as another “new wing, extra floor, towers, courtyard” are being added.
How do you step up during times of constant change?