Tag Archive for: leadership

Built Right, Still Wrong…

At home these last few weeks, Monic has been on another mission, painting and decorating.
 
At times the house has been upside down and, on a few occasions, I’ve been enlisted to help.
 
It may have been to move a bed, lift a rug, order something online, build some flat pack furniture, pick up something from a shop etc.
 
Monic’s work ethic is amazing and when she gets started, you simply need to get out of the way.
 
It got me thinking about a few things – especially when it came to flat pack self-assembly furniture this week.
 
I ordered the items online, picked them up from the store and duly started to put the bedside cabinet together.
 
It wasn’t too difficult and within an hour the first was completed.
 
Having built one, the second was easier and within half an hour, the last thing I needed to do was put the drawer in.
 
But alas, for some reason, it wouldn’t fit!?
 
Cue that familiar DIY moment: denial, frustration, blame.
 
Was it me? Did I mess something up?
 
Stumped, I took a closer look.
 
The drawer rail pre-installed by the manufacturer was the wrong one.
 
I couldn’t do a thing.
 
I called on Monic to check it wasn’t just me seeing something wrongly…
 
She confirmed that no tool could fix that.

The Life Lesson

 
And that’s when it clicked, this was a real-world lesson in control.
 
– I had 𝒕𝒐𝒕𝒂𝒍 control when I laid out the parts and followed the instructions.
– I had 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆 control when I checked my work and asked for a second opinion.
– But with the faulty rail? I had 𝒛𝒆𝒓𝒐 control. All I could do was adapt. Accept. Return it and reorder.
 
On reflection – I followed the instruction manual with exactness, step by step.
 
But the part was wrong from the start.
 
There was nothing I could do to fix it.
 
Sometimes, even when you do everything right, things still won’t work—because the problem was built in from the start.
 
The real test is how you respond when the plan fails.
 
Are you solving problems—or just following instructions?

Front Row Seats

In May 2023, I found myself in Frankfurt, Germany, at a Europe Central Area Leadership Meeting.
Elder David A. Bednar of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles was presiding, and leaders from across Europe gathered for instruction.
As we arrived, we quietly took our seats toward the rear of the chapel, but Elder Bednar had other ideas.
As he began, he invited those sitting at the back to come forward.
“Come closer,” he said.
And so, a little reluctantly, we did.
We moved toward the front right row. Then, Elder Bednar gestured again, “No,” he signalled. “Right here, in the front row.”
We moved again, and I found myself sitting directly in front of him, within touching distance, 2 metres away, for the next 4 hours.
Something happened.
Time and again, he made direct eye contact with me (he has brown ones – like my own).
Again and again, it felt as though he was speaking not 𝒂𝒕 me—but 𝒕𝒐 me.
The doctrine, the invitations, the Spirit—everything felt really personal.
He wasn’t just addressing a group of leaders.
In those moments, it felt like he was addressing 𝐦𝐞.

Reflections

Since that day, I’ve reflected on what it meant to be invited to the front row, not only physically, but spiritually too.
In recent years, President Russell M. Nelson said, “We have 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐭 𝐫𝐨𝐰 𝐬𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐬 to witness live what the prophets anciently only envisioned.” Later he also said, “Do you see what is happening right before our eyes?”
We’re not in the balcony seats. We’re not watching a recording later.
As the work of salvation hastens, we have front-row seats as witnesses to the troubling times of the last days prior to the second coming of Jesus Christ—and it’s all happening “𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬.”
To see more clearly, some of us may have to move closer.
We’re not just spectators—we’re participants.
There’s something unforgettable about a front-row seat.
You see things others miss.
You feel the energy.
You can’t look away.
Because when we choose to come closer, the Saviour meets our eyes, and nothing is ever quite the same again.
Will you stay at the back, or will you move to the front row seats?

The Final Scene of our 96 mile expedition

On our last evening after walking the full West Highland Way, just the four of us remained.
We wrapped things up in Fort William with a trip to the cinema to see the latest Mission Impossible film, a fitting choice, since parts of this trek really did feel impossible!
This is my final post about the walk, and one last chance to support Mary’s Meals before I close the project on July 1st.
Not only did we complete our great challenge, we also managed to raise a few thousand pounds for an amazing charity together.
If you’ve been meaning to donate, here’s the link: https://www.marysmeals.org.uk/fundraising…
Everyone of us who participated, despite the hardships, truly loved it!
Yes, even the rain, midges, ticks and gale force winds all added to the fun! 😆
I’d recommend the walk, to anyone, but you need to be a wee bit mad to do it too!
I think it was one of the greatest adventures of my life and to be with such great friends was simply awesome.
Huge thanks to everyone who supported us along the way. You helped make every step count.

Come What May

Last night Monic and I went to the cinema and really enjoyed watching the new “How to Train Your Dragon” movie.
A simple phrase uttered by the main character, Hiccup, landed with me.
“𝑪𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝑾𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝑴𝒂𝒚…”
Facing a challenge much bigger than himself, he didn’t run or retreat.
He stood tall, uncertain but unwavering, and chose to press ahead at a moment of great difficulty.
He didn’t have all the answers, but he had great conviction.
And the path wasn’t an easy one, but it was the right one.
That moment and the phrase is still with me this morning.
It reminded me that we all face dragons, challenges that test our resolve, our faith, our identity.
But “come what may” is more than a line in a movie, it’s a quiet anthem of trust in something greater.
In my personal study this morning I decided to reread a talk from some years ago by Joseph B. Wirthlin “Come What may and love it” – a phrase attributed to his mother.
He said, “If we approach adversities wisely, our hardest times can be the times of greatest growth, which in turn can lead to times of greatest happiness.”
Life has taught me that there is opposition in all things.
I’m sure it has for you too.
And still, we carry on.
Not because the path is easy.
Not because we know what’s coming next.
But because something within us, or someone beside us (in the movie – Astrid), helps us to take the next step.
Come what may, we learn.
Come what may, we grow.
Come what may, we love it.
What “dragons” are you facing – and what quiet strength is helping you stand firm?

The Patience Spectrum

Following a recent coaching conversation, I decided to study the topic of patience for the last few weeks.
Yesterday, I was running a virtual learning session on a completely different topic and a spectrum or continuum was used to explore one key idea.
It got me thinking about patience again and figuring out what it would look like on a spectrum.
Patience is often praised as a virtue, but it’s not one-size-fits-all.
This morning, I started to see patience not as a fixed trait, but as a spectrum.
And like most spectrums, the extremes can be just as unhelpful as the absence of it.
On one end, there’s over-patience, the kind that borders on passivity and inaction.
You wait too long, tolerate too much, delay the hard conversations.
It feels calm on the outside, but underneath it might be fear, avoidance, or indecision.
On the other end, there’s impatience in overdrive.
Everything’s urgent.
There’s no space for process or people.
Things have to happen now, and if they don’t, then frustrations can arise.
Somewhere in between is the sweet spot: 𝒅𝒊𝒔𝒄𝒊𝒑𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒆𝒅 𝒑𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒆.
This version is intentional.
Balance is important.
Patience isn’t about stepping back and doing nothing.
It’s about staying connected while giving things the space they need.
You’re not rushing to control the outcome, but you’re not disengaging either.
You stay aware, you stay ready and most importantly you trust the timing.
But here’s the difficult question – it’s hard to know where you are on the spectrum.
If you’re not sure where you stand, ask someone you trust.
Someone who’s seen you in both calm and crisis.
“Do I tend to wait too long, or perhaps not long enough?”
The answer might surprise you, and possibly, it might be exactly what you need to hear.
“Patience is not indifference. Actually, it means caring very much but being willing, nevertheless, to submit to the Lord and to what the scriptures call the “process of time.”” – Neal A. Maxwell.
Where on the patience spectrum do you see yourself right now – and what might help you move closer to the sweet spot?

Learning Off the Tracks

On the final day of our West Highland Way Walk, a few of us rode aboard the Jacobite Express from Fort William to Mallaig.
It is the classic steam train across the Glenfinnan Viaduct, which I am sure many of you may have already taken – especially any Harry Potter fans!
As we approached the viaduct, the guard announced to get ready for a photo opportunity and to have our cameras handy, but not to lean out of the windows!
Everyone on board was focused on the moment: the train curving over the bridge, cameras out, trying to capture the perfect shot.
But the best photo I took wasn’t of the train and the viaduct, rather it was of the crowd below!

The Other View

Hundreds of people in the fields, some who I guess had travelled for hours, all there just to watch.
Yet something else clicked as I watched the little matchstick people below – it seemed much more fun down there than it was on the train!
They chose where to stand, what to notice, when to click.
They weren’t guided by announcements or told what to focus on.
Each of them was part of the moment on their own terms.
And that made me think about how we approach our personal development and learning.
Too often, learning is structured like the train ride: linear, controlled, timed to the minute.
Someone tells you when the “big moment” is, what to focus on, and how to capture it.
But real learning often looks more like the crowd: informal, self-directed, sparked by interest, not instruction.
Each of us seek meaning in our own way, turning up when something matters to us personally and learning most, when we have space to explore, reflect, and choose for yourself.
In the learning and development world, we spend a lot of time designing the “train ride”, but maybe we need to think more about how to support the people in the field.
The 70/20/10 model comes to mind.
Because sometimes the most valuable learning doesn’t happen on the tracks.
It happens off to the side, where curiosity lives, and where people are free to really see.
Where would you rather be – on the train, or choosing your own view?

Switching Hats

Recently whilst visiting Edinburgh with friends, we wandered in and out of a few shops.
My friends were interested in the T-shirts, but my eyes landed on a new hat.
A flat cap actually, and for the Scots amongst you, Paw Broon style!
I like my collection of hats and caps.
Sometimes a hat just seems to migrate to me!
As I’ve worn it in the days since, it’s come to symbolise something more meaningful, especially in my work as a coach and facilitator.
In business and leadership, we often talk about “wearing many hats.”
Leader. Listener. Strategist. Facilitator. Coach. Friend. Challenger. Visionary.
Each of these hats demands something different of us.
One calls for boldness, another for stillness.
One requires you to take the lead; another asks you to step back.
Some hats feel familiar and well-worn; others take time to grow into.

When to switch

What I’ve learned over the years is that great leaders know not just how to wear many hats, but also when to switch them, and how to do so with grace.
Sometimes when I step into lead or facilitate a meeting, I need to offer clarity and direction.
Later, perhaps in the same day, I may meet a coaching client who needs me to say very little at all, just to listen deeply and hold some quiet space for them to have time to think.
And by evening, I’m a mentor or friend, simply present, with no agenda.
It’s not about performing different roles.
It’s about being adaptable while staying authentic to my true values.
The key isn’t in the number of hats that I wear, or I have in my collection, it’s the wisdom to know which one is needed in the moment, and to take one off when it no longer serves.
So, the next time you feel stretched, pulled in different directions, or unsure of what’s being asked of you, just pause for moment, slow down and ask yourself:
Which hat is needed right now?
Am I clinging to a hat that no longer fits this situation?
How can I switch hats without losing who I am?
Leadership isn’t about having all the answers or wearing the fanciest hat in the room.
It’s about serving others well, by being ready to step into what’s needed, with intention, empathy, and perhaps a wee bit of humour too!
What hat will you be wearing today?

What’s your one word?

In a recent virtual learning session, I kicked off with a simple question as a little icebreaker…
“Give me one word to describe how you’re communicating these days.”
Pausing for a moment to consider their responses, words started to appear in the chat box, including some of the following:
Friendly. Rationally. Deeply. Detailed. Concisely. Comprehensively and many more.
Immediately, we were off to a powerful and thoughtful start.
Some participants then chose to explain further why they were communicating in that manner.
They mentioned their tone, their intentions and the impact it was having.
They began to see and understand the impact beyond their words.
New insights about presence, awareness, mindset and leadership came to the fore.
It turned out to be a moment of powerful reflection for everyone.
Each of us communicate in some way or form every day.
Speaking.
Texting.
Writing.
Posting.
And it doesn’t have to be words, more powerful is our body language and the visual clues we send.
Often, it’s the unspoken that lands the loudest, such as, silence, tone and eye contact.
When was the last time you stopped to ask how you’re actually communicating?
In our session, the simple act of naming how we communicate opened the door to group learning, personal insight, and stronger accountability.
So, pause for a second.
What’s your one word?
And more importantly: is it working for you?

26D and Me

Yesterday was a long one.
I left home at 5:00 a.m. and returned at 12:30 a.m.
A full on 19.5-hour day.
In between was a drive to and from the airport, two flights, the London underground, two train rides, a few Zoom calls squeezed in at stations and cafés, some meetings, and plenty of walking across a hot and bustling London.
Through all that travel, one small detail stood out: 𝐬𝐞𝐚𝐭 𝟐𝟔𝐃.
I didn’t book it, I didn’t choose it, but it chose me twice.
The day began with a British Airways flight from Edinburgh to London City Airport.
After an early morning delay of over an hour, due to a faulty megaphone, we boarded, and I found my place in seat 26D.
My mind was on the day ahead, with travel, meetings to navigate, decisions to make, and several planned conversations that really mattered.
The flight was short, but in that little space I rehearsed, prepared, prayed and planned.
The morning version of me was purposeful and hopeful.
The flight down was a chilly one, but London greeted me with warm air and fast footsteps.
It was hot down there!
From Docklands to Liverpool Street, I criss-crossed the city on the DLR and tube.
Through the day were some great face-to-face meetings and Zoom calls too.
It was one of those days where there was a lot going on and I just kept moving forward.
By late afternoon, I was done in.
I made my way to Stansted, weary but grateful.
Boarding the delayed EasyJet flight home, I glanced at my boarding pass, seat 26D again.
Two different airlines. Two different airports. Same seat.
That’s a 1 in 23,040 chance of being randomly assigned seat 26D on both flights!
I may have been in the same numbered space, but I wasn’t the same person.
The morning me, 26D carried a version brimming with intent.
The evening me, 26D carried a quieter, sleepier version.
Tired, yes, but thoughtful, happy and reflective.
The same seat, but a different state of mind.
26D was the same number, but I had changed.
I’m sure we all have days like that full-on, demanding, stretching.
What in your life looks the same on the outside, but feels completely different on the inside?

Two Roads to Humility…

It has been an interesting week thus far in my consulting and coaching world.
I’ve encountered one word, several times over – 𝒉𝒖𝒎𝒊𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚.
I’ve worked with different organisations on a number of leadership topics, and yet time and again, our conversations have returned to humility.
Life has taught me that there are two main pathways to humility.

By Choice

Firstly, we can 𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐬𝐞 to be humble.
There comes a time when we each have to pause and acknowledge that things aren’t going the way we’d hoped.
It takes real courage to admit, first to ourselves and then to others, that we’re stuck, unsure, or sometimes even, simply way out of our depth.
Humbling ourselves means choosing to open up rather than pretend we’ve got it all together.
It might look like asking for advice, learning from someone who’s walked a similar path, picking up a book, or reaching out to someone we trust.
It’s a quiet but powerful step: a willingness to grow, rather than go it alone.

By Compulsion

Secondly, we are 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐝 to be humble.
This one can be even tougher, much tougher.
Being humbled often arrives over time, uninvited, through failure, disappointment, or moments when the truth hits home really hard and we realise we’re the ones who got it wrong.
Sometimes even a sense of shame can haunt us for a while.
Its my witness, that it is in those uncomfortable moments that conversely something good can start to happen.
It’s the start of taking ownership, of letting go of pride, and choosing a more sure path.
Though painful, being humbled can become the turning point, where we begin to rebuild more honesty, deeper empathy, and stronger self-respect.
I’ve experienced this in my own life, several times over and it truly is painful.
Research shows, that in the leadership world, when companies hire humble leaders, the whole organisation benefits.
It’s a fact, that leaders who have learned to walk in humility, to be curious, and to engage others collaboratively, are more likely to succeed.
Just think what might happen if we choose to live by this virtue, in our own homes…
Indeed, life is a long lesson in humility!
Which path to humility are you currently walking, and what might change if you chose to take the first step, willingly?