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To don’t list!

“How about a “to don’t list”” – that’s a new idea I thought.
Working smart has been at the forefront of my mind the last few days. With an increasing challenge of fewer missionaries in country due to COVID-19 set to continue for the next few months, I’ve been thinking how we can work smart to address all that we need to do!
Once you accept that you have more to do than time to do it all, that is actually a very freeing concept.
We all know about to do lists, but creative thinking techniques encourage us to turn things upside down.
A “to don’t list” seems a bit of a weird idea, but actually thinking about it more, it seems to provide a lot of positives! I am starting to recognise that many times what you do not do is far more important than what you do do! Perhaps a little experiment is in order.
For example here are some ideas for starters…
– Don’t thoughtlessly scroll through social media
– Don’t always try to be right
– Don’t stay up too late
– Don’t try to please everyone
– Don’t interrupt others
Consider any bad habits you want to eliminate and anything that distracts you from being productive – that’s the key.
Go on, give it a go and write your “to don’t list” today!

Asking Questions

What will you do differently because of what you learned today?

Asked any good questions lately?

Questions can be extremely powerful. They help us to think, feel and do things differently.

We all need to learn how to ask great questions!

Some professionals like doctors, lawyers and journalists are taught how to ask great questions as part of their training.

In my own professional career through sales and coaching, I have found it equally important to be able to formulate and ask the right question.

Questions aid performance, close sales, help provide inspiration and direction, they even help to build trust and rapport.

“Management teams aren’t good at asking questions. In business school, we train them to be good at giving answers.” – Clayton Christensen.

Itโ€™s time to be a little more curious. Asking questions is an important part of life and learning.

As a coach, I am constantly asking questions to help clients move forward.

– What do you really want?
– What do you need most right now?
– So what?
– Why now?
– How can you be truer to yourself?
– Can you tell me more?

What question can you use today to unlock your own potential?

“Its as easy as ABC”

“Oh yes” I thought, “its as easy as ABC.”
At extremely short notice recently, I was asked to design and deliver a virtual workshop primarily on change. After a discussion with the client, I got down to the tricky matter of bespoke design. Never easy at the best of times and now the time pressures were on too!
It meant some last minute personal changes in my own schedule and working all day on a Saturday. Sometimes when in design mode, thoughts come very slowly. However, that day, inspiration flowed freely, I was in the zone! I loved it! Job done!
Then it hit me, I forgot one key aspect, the client also wanted to understand a little more about building resilience for the leadership team. Scratching my head, contemplating a few different models on the topic, a favourite popped into my mind, from cognitive behavioural theory – “its as easy as ABC!” Eureka!
In short, Albert Ellis developed the ABC model to help us understand the connection between adversity or an activating event (A). How we think about this creates beliefs (B). These beliefs then influence what we do next, so they become consequences (C) – our emotional and behavioural responses.
By challenging our ๐’ƒ๐’†๐’๐’Š๐’†๐’‡๐’” we can build our resilience and bounce back.
How do you bounce back from adversity?

Deep Change

“What is your favourite book on change?” asked a course participant.

I’ve spent the last week talking and facilitating workshops all about change (again).

It is likely you are aware of a few change models, including the Kubler Ross Change Curve, Kotterโ€™s 8 stage model, Bridges Transition model, Prosci’s ADKAR model (lots of models) et cetera.

But if you want to really change in your personal life or in your organisation, consider this thought from Deep Change โ€“ Discovering the Leader Within from Robert E.Quinn –ย “Deep change differs from incremental change in that it requires new ways of thinking and behaving. It is change that is major in scope, discontinuous with the past and generally irreversible. The deep change effort distorts existing patterns of action and involves taking risks. Deep change means surrendering control.”……

This is an introspective journey that will challenge your thinking, you’ll need a reflective journal, in Bob’s words it’ll be like “walking naked into the land of uncertainty”.

You will be introduced to new ideas, new ways of thinking, new ways of behaving and can put an end to the slow death dilemma forever.

Consider this book a masterpiece!

Deep Change reveals the remarkable capacity each of us holds to change ourselves and ultimately our organisations.

Do you think I enjoyed it!?

You will too.

Penalty Points…

No! Not again – another 3 points! ๐Ÿ˜Ÿ
1989, an unforgettable year. I was in my 24th year of life. Young, enthusiastic, driven and eager to succeed.
I’d just secured a new job in sales and vividly recall taking the train down to Adwick-le-Street, near Doncaster, to pick up my company car. A new fast car, with a car phone to boot. I was in heaven.
Driving home a few days later, I discovered that I never had so much power at the touch of a small pedal in my life before.
Then it happened.
A few short weeks later, speeding fine number 1. Silly me I thought.
Another few weeks and speeding fine number 2. I’d better slow down I thought.
And not many weeks later, speeding fine number 3. I had to slow down.
I can’t recall my boss’s exact words (thanks Tony), but they went like this…”Daryl if you get caught again, you’ll be banned from driving with 12 points, and we’ll have to let you go.”
Albeit I was forced too, but I learned a much needed powerful lesson.
๐‘ฐ ๐’”๐’๐’๐’˜๐’†๐’… ๐’…๐’๐’˜๐’.
In time the points expired.
Frequently in life physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and socially we all may be ๐’‡๐’๐’“๐’„๐’†๐’… to slow down.
Yet, it is far better to ๐’„๐’‰๐’๐’๐’”๐’† to slow down.
To speed up in life, sometimes you need to slow down.
When will you “slow down?”

New beginnings

I know I canโ€™t turn back time, but this I do know…… itโ€™s never too early and itโ€™s never too late for a new beginning.

“Four young men sit by the bedside of their dying father. The old man, with his last breath, tells them there is a huge treasure buried in the family fields. The sons crowd around him crying, “Where, where?” but it is too late. The day after the funeral and for many days to come, the young men go out with their picks and shovels and turn the soil, digging deeply into the ground from one end of each field to the other. They find nothing and bitterly disappointed, abandon the search……

…๐—ง๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ป๐—ฒ๐˜…๐˜ ๐˜€๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐˜€๐—ผ๐—ป ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ณ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐—บ ๐—ต๐—ฎ๐˜€ ๐—ถ๐˜๐˜€ ๐—ฏ๐—ฒ๐˜€๐˜ ๐—ต๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ๐˜€๐˜ ๐—ฒ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ.”
– As told by Benjamin Zander in “The Art of Possibility”

Perhaps now is a good time to refine your plans for future harvests.

Is it time to start and dig a little deeper perhaps?
What new beginnings lie ahead for you?

Reflective learning

“So, what have you been learning about yourself through this last year…? I’ve asked that question so many times recently in coaching sessions. So, how about you……?
Consciously I make time for self reflection daily. Although it’s been a practice for a while, it has become much more meaningful during the last 12 months of the pandemic. Reflection has been described as a process that helps turn experience into knowledge. So, what are you learning?
Paradoxically, looking inwards, helps me to look outwards.
As you look in the mirror of self reflection, consider these questions:
…Am I using my time wisely?
…Am I living true to myself?
…What am I doing about the things that matter most in my life? …What do I need to change about myself?
…Have I made someone smile today?
It is so easy to get caught up in the daily vicissitudes of life.
Self-reflection is the key to help you understand what you stand for, what your values are, and in essence what matters most.
It’s a time to consider your behaviour, your goals and whether you are on track. The more self-reflective you are, the easier it becomes to make choices in line with your values which will impact all of your decisions now and in the future.
Our learning in life comes from our daily experiences, so take time to self-reflect, daily!

“How did you get into coaching then…?”

Recently I have been asked several times…”So Daryl, just how did you get into coaching and mentoring”?
Here’s my story.
In 2001, I was busy with a young family, an active sales career and a challenging, but enjoyable church assignment as a Bishop in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. All three combined gave me an incredible insight into working with people of all ages in a wide range of circumstances.
My sales career was progressing well and I very much enjoyed talking to people and building trusting relationships. That said, I also enjoyed the many counselling sessions I’d have with church members. In both situations, I was being called upon regularly to give presentations and lead many training sessions on a range of leadership topics. Subsequently, I determined to enrol at night school at my local college embarking upon a CIPD – Certificate in Training Practice. It was one evening per week for several months. I loved it! Below is my graduation photo – wow I was young!
As the years have rolled by, my focus shifted towards coaching, facilitation and training, gaining further Diploma’s and qualifications along the way. I then set up my own consultancy back in 2014. I am so grateful too for my wife Monic’s constant words of encouragement and support throughout – that has always made a huge difference.
My advice, get all the education you can! Get at it, work at it, study hard and go for it!

How are you being finely-tuned?

Are you being ๐Ÿ๐ข๐ง๐ž๐ฅ๐ฒ-๐ญ๐ฎ๐ง๐ž๐ ?

Over the last 2 days, I have spent nearly 8 hours each day on a brand new managing your team virtual learning programme. It has been a stretching experience, long hours, a few headaches and a little bit of pressure thrown in for good measure too. All that said it has been extremely insightful too.

Yesterday, as each of the virtual facilitators took it in turn to deliver a 75 minute section, we carefully listened and participated throughout the learning session. As each facilitator concluded their delivery, one by one, we took it in turns to provide feedback. It was a great experience to receive an in the moment peer review. I came away feeling as if I was being ๐Ÿ๐ข๐ง๐ž๐ฅ๐ฒ-๐ญ๐ฎ๐ง๐ž๐ !

To fine-tune means: “to make small adjustments to (something) in order to achieve the best or a desired performance”

At the conclusion of the day, each of us thanked our virtual trainer for her guidance and assistance throughout. I came away feeling more prepared, more confident, more assured and primed ready to step up into action!

How are you preparing for your forthcoming assignments and how are you being ๐Ÿ๐ข๐ง๐ž๐ฅ๐ฒ-๐ญ๐ฎ๐ง๐ž๐?

Expect the unexpected!

The unprecedented, unexpected, exceptional and unimaginable are the new norm. “When you look to the future in leadership, what must change, what do you see?” asked a course participant.
This is a huge question.
The world is rapidly changing at lightning speed.
Reflecting for a moment and considering all that is going on in the world my response was a simple one… “even more disruption and expect the unexpected. I believe that the key to future success for any leader will be self-awareness, purpose, authenticity, empathy, humility and knowing exactly what they want to become.”
As the world continues to spiral from one crisis to another, the question I am often asked is “what should we be teaching leaders now?”
Considering the unfolding events on the world stage in the last few days, I was drawn to an article by Boyd Matheson who stated that “setting personal interest aside to contemplate the greater good is the essence of leadership. Far too many leaders are obsessed with a different question “What is best for me?”” Instead, the true leader faced with momentous decisions asks “What is best for the people I lead?”
Consider your families, teams, and organisations today…”What is best for the people you lead?”