Tag Archive for: leadership

Are you following me?

My dear friend, Paul and I have a few things in common…
We were both born and raised in Dunfermline.
We both got married to someone from abroad.
We both have three children.
We both work in learning and development.
We both served in the England London Mission of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints 
We both served as Bishop of the Dunfermline Ward.
We both served as President of the Dundee Scotland Stake, me 2005 – 2014 and Paul currently.

Chance Encounters

And if the last few Saturday mornings are anything to go by, we both enjoy walking to fulfil our church Ministering assignments at the very same time!
As we’ve crossed paths in virtually the same spot these last few weeks, it’s become a bit of a running joke.
“𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏? 𝑨𝒓𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒇𝒐𝒍𝒍𝒐𝒘𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒎𝒆, 𝒐𝒓 𝒂𝒎 𝑰 𝒇𝒐𝒍𝒍𝒐𝒘𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒚𝒐𝒖?”
These chance encounters have added a touch of humour and a smile to our faces in our shared commitment to serve others.
Whilst he is heading north, I am heading south!
Ministering has always held a special place in both of our hearts.
There’s something deeply rewarding about reaching out to others, offering a listening ear, a kind word, or simply letting someone know they’re remembered and loved.
It’s not just a duty; it’s a privilege – a way to follow the Saviour’s example of service and compassion.
We both share a passion for this work.
Even now, as it is his turn to carry the mantle of Stake President, his dedication to these simple but significant acts of care is inspiring.
We both know that real joy in ministering comes not from grand gestures, but from consistent, small acts of love and service.
And yet, life has a way of adding a touch of humour to even the most heartfelt endeavours.
It’s a light-hearted reminder that ministering doesn’t have to be stiff or overly formal, it’s about connection, warmth, and even a good laugh along the way.
As I reflect on these moments, I feel a deep sense of gratitude for Paul, for his leadership, friendship, and example.
Serving alongside him in this way reminds me that ministering is more than a responsibility; it’s a joyful journey we share together, one visit at a time.
What small acts of love and service have brought a smile to your face lately?

Faith at Work

Yesterday, I enjoyed catching up with some old colleagues and making some new friends in a virtual café for Fellows of the Association for Coaching.
There was an instant blend of warmth, trust, and camaraderie.
Our shared values and collective openness allowed us to learn and grow together.
The smiles, the attentive nods, the laughter, and the genuine curious interest in one another’s thoughts created a strong sense of belonging.
Some topics for our breakout rooms were suggested and off we went to share our thoughts.
I suggested a current topic at the forefront of my mind “faith friendly workplaces”.
What followed in the next 35 minutes was one of the most insightful and powerful coaching conversations I’ve ever had.
I am truly thankful for Tom Hennessy for his intuitive and penetrating questioning skills.
From the outset, he tuned into my thinking as I shared my experiences of an event I’d attended the day before.

Religious Freedom

At that event, I’d engaged with a diverse group of leaders, advocates, and thinkers who were passionate about the intersection of religious freedom and business.
Hosted by Louise Bailey of OVO, the gathering highlighted the vital role that workplaces play in fostering an environment where faith can be expressed openly and respectfully.
Brian J. Grim of the Religious Freedom and Business Foundation, shared his perspective on how recognising and respecting employees’ faith identities can enrich any workplace culture.
His stories underscored the importance of seeing faith as an integral part of diversity, just as important as race, gender, or any other characteristic.
The event also reminded me that creating faith-friendly workplaces wasn’t just about accommodating faith; it’s about empowering individuals to bring their whole selves to work.
Further, it’s about creating an environment where people feel seen, heard, and valued, not despite their faith but because of the richness it adds to who they are.
As I further reflected upon the conversations at the event, I realised how closely they align with the work I’m passionate about.
Coaching, after all, is about creating safe spaces for people to explore and grow.
If workplaces can become those safe spaces, where faith is acknowledged and respected, it could transform not just individual lives but entire organisational cultures.
Now, I have my work cut out as I consider how to bring my learning and coaching knowledge to this vital cause.
How can we foster workplaces that embrace faith as part of diversity?
It’s a challenge I’m eager to explore, and one I invite you to consider too.

 

Looking Back

“You’re looking well Dave” I said.
“And you too Daryl” he replied.
And so began our lovely lunch with one another, earlier this week in Stirling.
Dave and I were colleagues many years ago, collaborating on numerous large-scale, challenging projects during our time working together.
Lunch was delicious.
We got caught up on our family situations.
And we talked about what we were doing now.
But what we really enjoyed was taking time to reflect upon our many experiences we’d share together, twenty plus years ago.
Looking back allowed us to revisit past experiences with the clarity of hindsight.

New Insights

As we shared our thoughts and feelings, we found they often revealed insights that we’d missed in the moment, from many years ago.
Indeed, we found looking back useful, because it gave us both a new perspective.
Revisiting those moments with Dave added another layer of richness, as his perspective shed light on details I’d never considered.
Part of enjoying life lies in celebrating our accomplishments and milestones, and there were certainly plenty of those during the time Dave and I worked side by side.
Whilst reflecting on some of those daunting challenges we faced together, our shared response was, “I’d never thought about it quite like that before.”
Looking back isn’t just about nostalgia—it’s an opportunity for growth.
We both recognised how far we’d come and understood a little better how the many challenges we’d faced together had shaped us, and to some extent, influenced our future decisions.
There is something very powerful about reflecting on the past together.
We both realised how much we’d influenced each other; in ways we’d never considered.
Looking back certainly helped us to understand how our past experiences had shaped us, but somehow it also helped us to look ahead to the future with renewed confidence.
It was a real joy to strengthen our bonds of friendship, celebrate our successes and gain a deeper empathy for and understanding of each other – after far, far too long!
Thanks Dave – and I’ll pay next time!
When you look back on where you’ve been, how does it shape the way you see your path ahead?

A Ball of String

Recently I was asked, “As a facilitator, what are your favourite learning tools in your backpack?”
I smiled…
There are many “essentials” that I carry in my backpack when I facilitate a workshop.
– Pens, markers (sharpies or neuland refillables), dry board markers, paper, post it notes.
– CCS Cards, Organisation Cards and other cards to write on
– My laptop, a pointer/clicker, extra batteries, an external mouse and a thumb drive.
– Masking tape.
– Power adaptors
– Rubber bands and Paper clips
And last but not least, my very favourite, it goes everywhere, my 𝒃𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒐𝒇 𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈!
It’s a short list but these few supplies have gotten me out of a lot of jams, consistently bring energy to the room, and help me to create memorable moments in any learning session.
So why a ball of string?
A simple ball of string is often underestimated, but it is a highly effective tool in facilitation.
Its versatility makes it a powerful symbol and practical tool for measuring and demonstrating different behaviours and concepts in various workshops.
Here are 2 simple examples of how I’ve used it recently…

Example 1

As a measurement tool, by using it as a line on the floor and asking participants to gauge their thoughts and feelings about something.
For example, I explain that one end of the line is “Strongly Agree,” the opposite end is “Strongly Disagree,” and the middle represents a neutral stance.
The activity always involves making decisions about how much they agree or disagree with statements or questions that I ask.
On every occasion, I invite participants to position themselves on the line to indicate their view, leading to some fascinating discussion and varied opinions.
Another one I use string for is to help people understand the importance of connection and communication within a team.

Example 2

When one person talks or shares an idea, they hold onto the string and toss the ball to someone else.
As the string weaves across the group, it creates a visual web of connections, symbolising how each person’s input influences the others.
It can be a powerful illustration of interdependency in any team, and how communication flows through and binds a team together.
A ball of string is more than a basic tool as it can symbolise and practically demonstrate essential leadership behaviours.
What’s in your backpack?

Retreat and Recover

In my studies through the years, I find it fascinating that the leaders of three of the world’s great religions have one thing in common…
They understood the importance of stepping back from the world for personal reflection and renewal.
In ancient times, spiritual leaders sought refuge in nature or isolated spaces, understanding that it was in these quiet moments that clarity of purpose and direction emerged.
For example, the Buddha meditating under the Bodhi tree in northern India (the place of enlightenment) would form the foundation of Buddhism.
In the Quran, there are numerous accounts of the Prophet Muhammad receiving revelations and instruction from the Angel Gabriel in the cave of Hira, which shaped the world of Islam.
Jesus Christ often retreated from his followers into the wilderness to meditate and pray, helping him connect with deity in order to establish Christianity.
Each of them reminds us of the importance of stepping back from the world to take some time to reflect and recover.
Modern leaders can take inspiration from these examples by carving out time for reflection, not only to recharge physically but also to reassess their leadership and the broader impact of their decisions.
Whether in politics, business, or social organisations, leaders face constant pressures to perform, make decisions, and address challenges swiftly and effectively.

Torryburn

My experience on Saturday was a simple mini example of this, taking some uninterrupted time to be alone or in this case sharing it with someone special.
Monic and I took a 2 hour long walk along the seashore, borrowing my sister’s dog Fern.
We thoroughly enjoyed our time of rejuvenation, foraging for brambles along the way and taking time to pause, reflect, talk and recover.
In our fast-paced, hyper-connected world of today, the notion of retreating for renewal has in recent years, gained a renewed relevance, especially for leaders.
A retreat, whether it’s time spent in nature or engaging in deep meditation, offers a space to disconnect from noise and reconnect with oneself, which in turn fosters sharper judgment and greater creativity.
Regularly tending to the emotional, physical, spiritual and mental aspects of our lives keeps us in a well-resourced state.
I know that most of my innovative ideas come not from being in the middle of the action but from stepping back, in moments of solitude and reflection.
Just as spiritual figures like Buddha, Muhammad, and Christ found profound insights in times of isolation, you and I along with today’s leaders can benefit greatly from stepping away from daily responsibilities to recharge, reflect, and renew our sense of purpose.
Everyone needs to unplug, refocus, retreat and reboot sometimes.
Go on – make that time to retreat today….
You know you need to.

The Good Old Days

We are made up of our memories.
And last night a few came flooding back, as Phil Gibbins and I took a stroll down memory lane….
Stepping back in time, we met at our old Oliver Wyman office at 55 Baker Street in London, followed by a meandering walk in the area and then to a favourite restaurant on Marylebone High Street.
We exchanged a warm hug; joyful smiles were ever present, and our conversation flowed easily as we engaged with one another to reminisce about “𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒈𝒐𝒐𝒅 𝒐𝒍𝒅 𝒅𝒂𝒚𝒔”.

Storytelling

As we shared our fun memories, there were stories galore and the air was filled with frequent laughter as we spoke about our crazy antics.
Together we’d weathered some notable experiences during our time frame of shared history, working side by side from 2008 – 2012.
Nostalgic moments, as we felt the power of the past that shaped our present.
Days never to be forgotten!
Over the years, although we’d connected once or twice in bite size chunks on LinkedIn and Zoom, those feelings were simply not the same as seeing each other after such a long time, in real life, to share a drink and meal together.
It was a heart warming reunion, a shared rekindling of a connection that time will never erode.

Life Happens

Life has happened and we are no longer who we once were, the signs of the passage of time had taken their toll!
Our night wasn’t just about the past, as we got caught up on each other’s current lives our aspirations and how much we had changed.
It was an occasion to reflect and appreciate just how far we had come.
A little older and perhaps a little wiser, but still as cantankerous as ever!
“It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.”- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Maintaining ties with the past is so important.
Meeting up with Phil last night reminded me of the old Joseph Parry quote, “Make new friends but keep the old. One is silver, and the other is gold.” – it’s just so true.
As the night came to a close, we recalled our taxi driver “Malcolm” who’d regularly pick us up at Manchester Airport, and the priceless discovery that after all those years he was still on the speed dial of my phone!
Departing, we promised each other that we wouldn’t leave it so many years until we met again, perhaps next time too, with a few other former colleagues alongside for good measure!
What is the most interesting or funniest memory you’ve taken away from a reunion?

Stretching, Growing and Learning

Over many years, I have had the opportunity and privilege to work in many leadership roles.
Lessons in leadership come in many ways.
I’ve certainly been stretched on many occasions as I struggled to get my head around the particular challenge of the day.
I’ve grown too in knowledge and understanding about how to handle many difficult situations.
And, I have learned so much about people, behaviours and what it means to be a good leader by putting the interests and needs of others first.
Oftentimes, I have benefited too from the guidance of other leaders who have inspired me.
Reflecting upon the last three years in Belgium and the Netherlands, working with 300+ young 18 – 26-year-old future potential leaders, I learned many lessons.

Stretching…

Time and time again, stretching opportunities came along for each of them to learn new skills.
Daily, growth opportunities arose for all of them to take on new challenges.
And regularly they all had opportunities to receive constructive feedback through 1-1 and team coaching/mentoring sessions.
Together we celebrated our successes.
When times were tough, when failures happened, we’d counsel with one another and figure out how to improve.
We learned a lot about slowing down.
Partnering with them, empowering them and trusting them to deliver their best work was key.
In any new growth situation, where we are learning and growing, our focus on what matters most is paramount.
Stretching happened every day.
And like many physical exercises, it is easy to grow tired!
No pain, no gain!
Small steps and little victories are key to forward progress.
Leadership guru, John Maxwell whilst speaking about the Law of the Rubber Band said; “Growth stops when you lose the tension between where you are and where you could be. There are many uses for a rubber band, but it’s of no use or value until it’s stretched.”
Just like a rubber band, you will never reach your full potential unless you are stretched!
Frequently, I was asked “How do I become a better leader?”
To start, take yourself out of your comfort zone and be prepared to be stretched.
Embrace the tension and put the resistance to work!
What kind of things are stretching you at the moment?

Reading the Room

Some years ago, I was sat in a room in a hi-powered negotiation for a major multi-million-pound contract for the company I was working for.
Discussions, pricing, and contract negotiations had been going on for several weeks.
It was time for our final meeting to agree the contract.
I’ll never forget that meeting, as I did something I’d never done before.

And so it began…

It was immediately evident that they were trying very hard to undo some of our previous agreements to find a more satisfactory arrangement for their company.
I had prepared well for the negotiation and was aware of any concessions that could be made.
Having been through many negotiations before, I knew the importance of being able to read the room, by listening for facts, details, or any signals and feelings that could arise.
Tuning in, I felt the vibe was different than our previous meetings.
I recall the body language, the vocal tones, raised eyebrows, the fleeting smiles and even frowns that day.
Those tiny facial micro expressions helped me to read between the lines, the nuances of what was being said, clues if you will, as to what was actually going on, that helped me to understand the dynamics in the room and individual emotional states.
Essentially, it was about trying to figure out or understand how the others in the room were thinking, without them actually saying something.
I worked hard to mirror and match the energy and tone of the others in order to connect with them.

Tactics

The lead negotiator from the other side was trying very hard to squeeze me on price by another 2% (read tens of thousands of pounds) and were in a hurry to close out the contract negotiations and give me the contract that day.
The win-win for us both, was becoming a win-lose for me.
It just felt-off.
They were keen for me to shake hands and sign the deal.

Now what?

Looking around the room, taking a deep breath, boldly and risking all, I thanked them for their time, closed my folder, packed up and left.
The negotiation was over.
Within an hour, they called me.
The additional 2% demand was removed, I signed, and we agreed the contract.
Whether it’s a presentation to a large audience, or an important meeting or negotiation, be mindful of reading the room.
It takes a little practice, but stop, look and listen for those non-verbal clues, they’re always there.
How can you “read the room” better?

Thinking Together

I marvel at the thoughts, insights and commitment that I see from my colleagues and dear friends in my leadership, learning, coaching, mentoring, training and facilitation network.
It is clear to me that they are learning from their own journeys and experiences of life.
Willingly, freely and regularly they share those learnings with others.
There is a great power in all of our journeys.
There are critical learning points and instruction all along the way.
We just need to slow down long enough to learn those lessons for ourselves.

Potential

As learning protagonists, professional coaches and mentors, our responsibility is to help unleash the real potential of those people with whom we work.
And how do we do that?
One meaningful conversation at a time.
My personal witness is that I have seen many individuals figuratively take a step into the “unknown” with a good coach or mentor by their side.
How have you grown these last few years?
What leadership lessons have you learned through your journey in life?

…thy might

Reflecting this morning, I was mindful of a scripture in Ecclesiastes 9:10.
“Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might…”
In the world in which we live, there is much worthwhile work for every one of us to do.
And when we do, we must remember these words from Solomon in Ecclesiastes.
That we must go and do, whatever it is, with our might!
And going and doing at times may mean a lot of actual work.
And yet, once again, I am grateful for my peers and fellow coaches who have found something to do and choose to go and do it with their might.
With the help of a coach or mentor, all of us must come to an honest, open self-examination, an awareness within, as to who and what we want to be, do and achieve.
“To the noble art of getting things done we must add the more noble art of leaving things undone.” – ancient oriental saying.
Coping with the complex and diverse challenges of everyday life, which by itself, is not an easy task, can upset the balance and harmony we seek.
I know of many good people who care a great deal and are trying very hard to maintain balance, but they sometimes feel overwhelmed and defeated.
If that’s you – then reach out to a good coach or mentor today, with their might, they “might” be able to help you along your journey in life.

Leadership Tools

As a facilitator and a learning protagonist, I have lost count of the number of leadership models shared in workshops.
There are my favourites such as situational leadership, servant leadership, values-based leadership, action centred leadership, adaptive leadership and a whole list of styles and 4-box grids that I have used and am very familiar with.
While most of us can recognise good leadership when we experience or observe it, oftentimes it is hard for us to determine the best model to use in a difficult situation.
Blending leadership models as needed is a popular fix.
But then it struck me.
As I reflected upon the many leadership experiences I’ve had in life, a clear analogy came to mind.

The Garden Shed

As a child, I recall one day that I wanted to go out on my bicycle for a ride.
Forlornly, there were several issues with my bicycle, including a wobbly seat, a flat tyre, a loose wheel, poor brakes, and handlebars that were more than just a little squint.
I’d not been out for a ride in a while and sadly my bicycle had fallen into disrepair.
I called my dad down to the shed in the garden.
He came and looked at the bicycle commenting upon the amount of work it needed to get it back into shape.

The Box of Tools

I recall that he set to work immediately and pulled out a big box of tools.
One small spanner was used to tighten the wobbly seat.
Another set of tools were used to remove the wheel, repair the puncture and blow up the tyre again and tighten it into position.
Dad then got out a set of pliers to fix the brakes.
Finally, another wrench was used to straighten the handlebars.
All in all, using a variety of tools, after a short time, the bicycle was fixed and off I went on my ride with a gleeful smile.
“Dads are great” I thought!

Leadership Lessons

So, it is with leadership.
Oftentimes, whilst managing and leading others we are faced with a vast array of different problems, challenges and issues.
Yet, just like the multitude of tools in my dad’s box, so we too have a broad range of different leadership models to help us resolve/fix/repair/manage/lead even the most mind-boggling obstacles at times.
Tools equip us with solutions.
What new shiny model do you have in your leadership toolbox, or maybe that old well-worn rusty model, over there in the corner is the best solution perhaps?
What tools do you have in your toolbox?