Tag Archive for: language

Be

Put your mobile down.
Set your tablet or laptop aside.
Turn the television off.
Put down your book.
Are you paying attention?
Just be here.

𝐁𝐞.

In a world filled with distractions it can be easy to get side-tracked and lose focus on the person or people that matter most of all.
In a recent coaching interview, one missionary asked me a question something like this…
“President, how can I improve my communication skills?”
Reflecting for a moment, as I observed the missionary and made eye contact, I asked a question that focused on being present and the unspoken dialogue I observed before me.
I asked, “Look at me and tell me what you observe?”
Hesitating the missionary responded… “I see you!”
“What else do you see?” I asked.
“You’re sitting comfortably”.
“Yes, I am sitting comfortably, but what else?” I said.
There were a few more interactions.
However, unable to see what I was driving at; I described my body language.
Then the missionary understood that I’d been delicately mirroring or matching the gesture’s, expressions, tone of voice and seating posture throughout our conversation.
What was I really saying?
I was indicating… “I am curious about you and making an effort to understand you.”
I had slowed down.
It was a moment of true bewilderment, to watch the reaction unfold.
Observing and listening, along with things we speak, are equally critical parts of communicating, that show you care.
“We must develop the capacity to see [others] not as they are at present but as they may become.” – Thomas S. Monson.
True disciples of Jesus Christ seek to follow His example in the ways they communicate.
I love this scripture from Ephesians 4:29 …“Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.”
If you want to develop Christlike communication, then speak with a missionary today.

Reframing

“What do you mean by reframing?”…asked the missionary.
In response I said, “Well, what I mean by reframing, is that you see a current situation from a different perspective.”
Essentially, reframing can help you see things differently, all of which can be really helpful in problem solving, decision making and learning.
Over many years in my coaching practice, I’d often use reframing to help someone become unstuck.
Similarly, I find it regularly in coaching interviews with missionaries too.
For example, a missionary may say, “I really doubt that I can do anything about this issue.”
In response, I know I’m likely to say something such as “So, what is one small step that you can take?”
I often find myself moving from the past to the future with missionaries too.
Oftentimes I’ve heard a comment like “I’ve never been good at speaking with people.”
If I hear that kind of comment, my response is something like “If you imagine yourself being successful in speaking with others, what would that look like and feel like?”
Changing the language you use is helpful.
For instance, a missionary may say “I am really struggling with my new companion, I don’t understand him, and we just don’t connect at all.”
Reframing that could look like this “Getting to know a new companion can take a lot of time and work. I have done it before successfully. It’s very rewarding and a great opportunity to learn something new about myself and others.”
Reframing is allowing yourself the opportunity to reinterpret a situation in a way, that is going to help you move through the challenge faced.
By reframing a threat to a challenge, can help us to feel courageous.
In summary, reframing an experience can give you access to more productive and positive thoughts, feelings, and behaviours.
What is your favourite reframing tactic?

A stranger here

𝐃𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞?

This week marked a significant anniversary for Monic and I.

12 months ago, we arrived in the Netherlands.

Those months have simply flown by, so incredibly fast.

We have travelled throughout Belgium and the Netherlands, visited with lots of family, reacquainted ourselves with many old friends, made many new friends from all across the world and testified of the restoration of the gospel of Jesus Christ in many towns and cities.

Yesterday, we met up with fellow Scot – Mark Stewart, an Area Authority Seventy, as each of us fulfilled assignments to speak at The Hague Stake Conference in Zoetermeer this weekend.

Reflecting this morning, I was reminded of a scripture in Ephesians 2:19.

At the time the Apostle Paul was fearlessly traveling into lots of different lands and meeting many new people.

Writing to the members of the Church, or Saints as they were called and are called today, he reminded members of the Church of the blessings of belonging, when he told them, “Ye are no more strangers and foreigners, but fellowcitizens with the saints, and of the household of God.”

What do you think of when you think of “strangers” or “foreigners”?

Mark and I are both Scottish, growing up on opposite sides of the country.

Speaking last night, our mother tongue, dialect, cultural background, and lifestyle may be different from the Dutch, but we were no strangers or foreigners – we were indeed fellowcitizens with the household of God, the Saints, here in the Netherlands.

In our day, in these turbulent times in which we live, strangers and foreigners are coming to us – daily.

We don’t have to look far. They are all around us.

Are you welcoming?

In fact, I was a stranger here not too long ago, yet I have always felt welcome here.

I know that no-one is a stranger to Jesus Christ.

In Romans 8:16-17, the Apostle Paul explains further…

“The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God: and if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ.”

Try as we may, we cannot separate ourselves from each other.

As children of God, we are not strangers to one another, we are all in fact brothers and sisters.

I hope that we will remember that we are all children of God and part of His family.

Have you ever felt like a stranger?

#HearHim

My Favourite Dutch Words

One of the missionaries asked….“What are your favourite Dutch words?”
Here are my top 5 for the moment!
𝐋𝐞𝐤𝐤𝐞𝐫 – The adjective lekker, denotes several positive attributes including nice, appealing and high-quality. Tasty food is commonly called lekker. However, the word extends well beyond food! For example it is often applied to nice looking people, well-made clothes, nice weather and even a good night’s sleep.
𝐆𝐞𝐳𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐝 – This is a fascinating word – it is often equated to cosiness but means even more than that. For the Dutch, I think gezelligheid represents a much broader spectrum of fun, joviality or even amicable situations that are all united by a warm sense of personal comfort and togetherness. Its just a lovely word!
-𝐭𝐣𝐞 – The Dutch use diminutives much more often than we English speakers do. They make words sound smaller, cuter or friendlier by adding the suffix –tje. For example, a small dog is a hondje, a wee nap is a dutje.
𝐈𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐰𝐢𝐤𝐤𝐞𝐥𝐝 – I just love the word for complicated, every time I use it, it just simply sounds much better in Dutch than it does in English!
𝐇𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐬 – Anyone who knows me well, will know that my favourite Dutch word of all time is this one. It simply means hopeless! And for many years it was a perfect description of my Dutch itself!! 😆😂
Do you have any favourite foreign language words?

Signs of Progress

How do you measure progress?
After 9 weeks of immersion in the culture of Belgium and the Netherlands, something significant, yet very subtle happened in my head this week.
For several weeks, I hear the Dutch language and then translate what I hear into English.
In order to respond, I then translate my English thinking into Dutch.
This week though, things started to change – just a little.
I am beginning to think in Dutch… 🙂
What a difference it makes!
The result?
I am even struggling to recall some simple English words and replacing them with Dutch ones!
The transition is starting to happen!
Don’t get me wrong, I have still lots of learning, but genuinely feel after some tough weeks, that I am making some progress.
So how do you measure progress?
…One day at a time! And then recognising the change.
When I’m dreaming in Dutch – that will be a real sign!
And for our new missionary arrivals next week, remember to speak it every day – that is so crucial. There is hope!!