Tag Archive for: Discipline

The Thinking Face

The other day, I was co-facilitating a virtual learning session on coaching for Aviva, on their new flagship leadership programme, Lead the Way.

After an initial exploration of the topic and some key areas to focus on, we sent the participants off into breakout rooms in trios and pairs for a little practice.

Armed with good intentions, a handful of questions, some listening skills and a new coaching model, they had just enough structure to get going.

And off they went.

As I dropped in and out of the rooms, something caught my attention.

Not the questions, the coaching model or even their listening skills.

Rather, it was their 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐞𝐬.

Many had a very familiar look that said something like, β€œI’m concentrating very hard on getting this right….”

You know that sort of look that was slightly tense, yet focused, and thinking more about the process, than the person.

There was a kind of intensity about them.

It was coaching… but it didn’t quite feel like connection.

Connection Coaching

I smiled, because (although it’s been a while) I’ve been there too.

In coaching, we can get so wrapped up in doing it right that we forget something simple: Your face is always speaking and more importantly, it is a very powerful tool in the coaching world.

Prior to sending them off into the breakout rooms, we’d spent a while considering questions, those of the verbal variety.

Experience has taught me that you can ask many questions in non-verbal ways through facial expressions, eye contact, a raised eyebrow, a puzzled look, tilting your head to the side, tugging your ear, placing your hand on your cheek, stroking your chin, using hand gestures to help or a combination of them all.

Self-awareness is paramount.

So, I left them with one thought towards the end of the session: β€œHave a think about what your face was saying.”

It may not something we often think about too often, but it might be one of the simplest ways to become a better coach.

Because great coaching isn’t just in the words we use… it’s frequently in the signals we send.

πŸ‘‰ What is your face saying?

The Slowless Society

Earlier this week, a nasty bug forced me to slow down and spend a couple of days in bed.
On the upside, it allowed me some time to think.
And I realised something once more…
In our modern world, everything around us is designed for speed, at full throttle: fast answers, fast success, fast solutions, fast change, fast communications and fast paced results!
All in an instant!
Our phones, computers and tablets buzz constantly with the latest message and update – my own devices were merrily beeping around me.
Faster and faster and faster.
More scrolling, less living.
We live in what I’m now calling a π‘Ίπ’π’π’˜π’π’†π’”π’” π‘Ίπ’π’„π’Šπ’†π’•π’š.
I turned to one of my favourite scriptures for grounding – Psalm 46:10 – β€œBe still, and know that I am God”.
Yet in our world there is a strong allergy towards stillness.
More noise, less His voice.
Hurry grows; clarity goes, whilst complexity swirls around us.
We’ve moved from that older β€œmicrowave mentality or mindset” to something I fear is far more pervasive.
Simply stated, it is the belief that everything meaningful in life should arrive instantly, without delay, without effort, and certainly without patience.
But my experience is that the soul doesn’t work at microwave speed.
Neither does growth.
Nor discipleship, leadership, healing, or even wisdom.
All of these require time.
And time is one of the greatest gifts we are given, but one that we so rarely honour.
Our Slowless Society pushes us to hurry, to rush, to skip the process, and to become frustrated when life doesn’t heat up in 60 seconds.
It was good to be forced to slow down and be still.
My realisation was this…
Speed steals what stillness reveals.
It’s not about speed, it’s about intention.
What might stillness reveal if I made space for it today?

Foiled Again!

This week, like last, I’ve been quietly observing the new leadership programmes at Aviva in Perth.
But there’s another, less formal, daily challenge I face alongside my fellow facilitators, and it comes wrapped in foil!
Every morning, the catering team lays out a display of Tunnock’s finest: tea cakes, snowballs, caramel logs, and my personal favourite – caramel wafers.
It’s an iconic Scottish institution after all, a proud family-run business.
And here’s the problem.
Because while the visiting delegates (currently mostly from England) dig in, (its hospitality after all and a wee taste of Scotland), I find myself staring at the table, having a little internal leadership moment.
It’s a daily test of self-discipline.
It sounds silly, right? It’s just a biscuit!
But self-discipline is one of the most underrated traits of great leadership for anyone who wants to lead the way.
It’s about the choices we make when no one’s watching, especially the small ones. And those small choices can all add up.
I must admit to having failed once or twice last week.
If I can’t say no to a caramel wafer at the next break, how will I hold a boundary under pressure?
How will I stay committed to the long-term over the easy win?
How will I model the kind of leadership I expect from others?
The truth is simply this, self-discipline isn’t about denying joy, rather It’s about directing it.
Choosing long-term growth over short-term gratification.
Building habits that make future decisions easier.
And in leadership, those habits ripple out, that can shape culture, model behaviours and build trust.
So, this week, I’ve started to leave left the Tunnock’s on the table.
Not because I don’t love them (I really do), but because I love what I’m building more, and that starts with leading myself.
I think I’ll keep a wee eye on my fellow facilitators too!
Or am I the only one facing this regular test?
Besides… they’ll still be there next week. Probably. Maybe. πŸ˜‰
What small habit could you build this week that reflects the kind of leader you want to be?

A Sure Compass

Just before setting off on my walk along Scotland’s West Highland Way this May with my missionary friends, my brother Paul and his wife Gwen gave me a beautiful gift to mark my 60th birthday: a π’„π’π’Žπ’‘π’‚π’”π’”, inscribed and deeply personal.
Oftentimes, I’ve carried it with me, not always for navigation, but for what it reminds me of: direction, intention, and trust in something steady.
One of my favourite activities as a facilitator involves asking groups, sometimes 10, 20, or even 100+ people, to stand, close their eyes, and point in the direction of north.
The results are always the same: arms point in every direction.
Some are confident, many are uncertain, and only a few ever get it right.
Then I pull out a compass and show them how quickly truth is revealed when you use the right tool.
I always gift them each a small compass to keep, a simple reminder that knowing where you’re going, starts with knowing what you’re using to guide you.

What tool do you use?

In a similar manner,Β  I love the words of Marvin J. Ashton:
β€œ…just as a compass is valuable to guide us out of the dense forest, so the gospel points the way as we walk the paths of life.”
There’s something insightful in that comparison.
I know that life can be full of dense forests: uncertainty, doubt, temptation, fear, distraction.
I also know that the gospel of Jesus Christ doesn’t eliminate these things, yet it’s my experience that it helps us move through them without getting lost.
President James E. Faust once said: β€œThe gift of the Holy Ghost is available as a sure guide, as the voice of conscience, and as a moral compass. This guiding compass is personal to each of us. It is unerring. It is unfailing.”
Not perfect circumstances. Not perfect knowledge. But a perfect guide.
I’ve learned that you don’t have to see the whole map if you trust your compass.
Whether you’re navigating the Highlands of Scotland or the hard questions of life, it’s the same principle.
The Spirit points true. The gospel holds steady. And I’ve kept walking.
60 years with the gospel as my guide. I still face storms, but I never face them alone.
As 2 Nephi 32:5 reminds us:
β€œFor behold, again I say unto you that if ye will enter in by the way, and receive the Holy Ghost, it will show unto you all things what ye should do.”
What are you using today to find your way, and is it pointing you to True North?
If you’d like to know more, speak to a member or a missionary of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

The Patience Spectrum

Following a recent coaching conversation, I decided to study the topic of patience for the last few weeks.
Yesterday, I was running a virtual learning session on a completely different topic and a spectrum or continuum was used to explore one key idea.
It got me thinking about patience again and figuring out what it would look like on a spectrum.
Patience is often praised as a virtue, but it’s not one-size-fits-all.
This morning, I started to see patience not as a fixed trait, but as a spectrum.
And like most spectrums, the extremes can be just as unhelpful as the absence of it.
On one end, there’s over-patience, the kind that borders on passivity and inaction.
You wait too long, tolerate too much, delay the hard conversations.
It feels calm on the outside, but underneath it might be fear, avoidance, or indecision.
On the other end, there’s impatience in overdrive.
Everything’s urgent.
There’s no space for process or people.
Things have to happen now, and if they don’t, then frustrations can arise.
Somewhere in between is the sweet spot: π’…π’Šπ’”π’„π’Šπ’‘π’π’Šπ’π’†π’… π’‘π’‚π’•π’Šπ’†π’π’„π’†.
This version is intentional.
Balance is important.
Patience isn’t about stepping back and doing nothing.
It’s about staying connected while giving things the space they need.
You’re not rushing to control the outcome, but you’re not disengaging either.
You stay aware, you stay ready and most importantly you trust the timing.
But here’s the difficult question – it’s hard to know where you are on the spectrum.
If you’re not sure where you stand, ask someone you trust.
Someone who’s seen you in both calm and crisis.
β€œDo I tend to wait too long, or perhaps not long enough?”
The answer might surprise you, and possibly, it might be exactly what you need to hear.
β€œPatience is not indifference. Actually, it means caring very much but being willing, nevertheless, to submit to the Lord and to what the scriptures call the “process of time.”” – Neal A. Maxwell.
Where on the patience spectrum do you see yourself right now – and what might help you move closer to the sweet spot?

Many More Miles

This week I’ve walked – a lot!
Up and down hills, along quiet trails, through rugged country park tracks, and even across many miles of noisy city centres footpaths in Edinburgh and Glasgow.
My legs have been a wee bit tired, my boots are now well-worn in, and I’ve gone through a few snacks, but I am so grateful for my health.
I’ve also met a few people and had some interesting conversations on my journey too.
One of the highlights was a lovely walk with Monic around part of Loch Leven.
We weren’t in a rush – just walking, talking, and soaking in the stillness.
It was one of those slow, steady walks that grounds you, body and soul.
With every step however, I feel a little more ready for the West Highland Way in May.
It’s taken effort, daily discipline, and a lot of desire to keep going.
Right now, there’s a real focus in my life – a reason to lace up my shoes and get out the door, even when the weather’s been a little chillier or the route ahead feels long.
As I’ve walked, I’ve thought a lot about how this kind of preparation mirrors something spiritual too – especially with General Conference weekend here.
Just like a long-distance trail, the journey of faith requires daily effort.
We don’t prepare for big spiritual moments overnight.
It’s the small, consistent choices – prayer, scripture study, quiet service, that build our spiritual endurance.
General Conference is like a pleasant rest stop on that path.
A time to refill, realign, and refocus.
It doesn’t replace the journey; it helps us stay on it and grow stronger.
And just like how training for the West Highland Way has helped me feel more capable and more clear-headed, taking time to prepare spiritually helps me get more from the experience.
One verse keeps coming to mind:
β€œLet us run with patience the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith.” – Hebrews 12:1–2
This journey, both physical and spiritual, isn’t about speed.
It’s about steady progress, and keeping our eyes fixed on where we’re going.
So, here’s my question:
What are you doing right now to stay spiritually ready for the path ahead in your own life?

Morning Routines

β€œNothing much happened today….”
Those were the opening words of my first diary entry on January 1st, 1978.
Since then, I have written thousands more.
In a few weeks’ time, it’ll be 47 years since it all began.
And my daily morning entries have filled 49 page a day journals (a couple of years 1983 – 1985 I filled a few.)
I am grateful for my mother.
Since Christmas day 1977, with her gift of the little diary, every December 25th since, she has presented me with a new journal for the year ahead.
Filled with priceless memories, stories, insightful experiences, a few travelogues and a number of boring entries too πŸ˜‰, they have become a record of my life.
They are a way to remember.

Mornings

I believe that how you start your morning sets the tone for the rest of your day.
In 1977, I began my years at High School in Dunfermline.
That summer, I started an early morning newspaper round.
Those early rises allowed me to establish regular morning habits that developed into consistent, reliable daily patterns from a young age.
I discovered that if you start every day with intention, a disciplined mindset is the result.
It has been the foundation for steady growth in my personal learning, development, family and professional life.
A structured morning routine helps you to focus on any priority tasks for the day ahead, without feeling hurried and to plan your time and resources accordingly.
Finding a morning routine that suits you, may take a little time.
The important thing is to commit to a routine that supports your own goals and lifestyle.
For me jotting down my thoughts of the activities of the day before in my journal is a powerful way to slow me down and clear my mind.

Top Tips

– Set a regular, consistent wake up time.
– Hydrate immediately and drink a glass of water.
– Journal – Start small – my first journal entry was just 12 words.
– Meditate & Study
– Prioritise your day.
As opposed to those first few words of my journal of 1978, something of real value happened that day, which has set the daily routines of my lifetime.
What did you do this morning?

Disciplined Hearts

Daily, missionaries are invited to be disciplined.
At the commencement of their service, each missionary receives a copy of β€œMissionary Standards for Disciples of Jesus Christ”.
I know that there is no discipleship without discipline.
Discipleship means discipline!
β€œWalking the path of discipleship takes practice — each day, little by little, grace for grace, line upon line. Sometimes two steps forward and one step back. The important thing is that you don’t give up; keep trying to get it right.” – Dieter F. Uchtdorf

Discipline

πƒπ’π¬πœπ’π©π₯𝐒𝐧𝐞: the quality of being able to behave and work in a controlled way which involves obeying particular rules or standards.
The word discipline comes from the Latin word discere, ” to learn, ” or discipulus, ” learner, ” making a disciple a student and follower.
Each of us, with discipline and effort, has the capacity to control our thoughts and our actions.
Whilst serving, missionaries learn about being more disciplined, every day.
Typically, each day begins at 06.30 and ends at 10.30pm.
Daily activities include, reviewing goals, planning schedules, studying the scriptures, prayer, preparing lessons, finding people to teach, serving others in the community, working with local members, teaching lessons face to face and online, travelling and attending other meetings/activities.

Disciplined Hearts

It requires a disciplined heart to be an effective missionary.
β€œSmall disciplines repeated with consistency everyday lead to great achievements gained slowly over time.” – John C. Maxwell.
Through discipline and devotion, and often challenging circumstances, missionaries become much more responsible and respectful in whatever they do.
I am a witness to the fact that discipline is something that can be developed and can act as a bridge between our goals and accomplishments.
β€œA disciplined mind leads to happiness, and an undisciplined mind leads to suffering.” – Dalai Lama
Making a real effort to align our actions and behaviours with our thoughts is a sign of true discipline.
How do you develop your daily discipleship and discipline?

Self-reflection

Daily, I consciously make time for self-reflection.
It has been a life long practice.
Life is much more fruitful when I take some time to check in with myself!
Paradoxically, looking inwards, helps me to look outwards.
It brings perspective to your life.
Reflection requires courage.
As you look in the mirror of self-reflection, consider these questions:
Am I using my time wisely?
Am I living true to myself?
What surprised me today?
What am I doing about the things that matter most in my life? What do I need to change about myself?
What mistakes did I make today and what did I learn?
Have I made someone smile today?
It is so easy to get caught up in the daily vicissitudes of life.
Self-reflection is the key to help you understand what you stand for, what your values are, and in essence what matters most.
A time to consider your behaviour, your goals and whether you are on track.
The practice is all about learning, looking back on the day in order to contemplate your behaviour and its consequences.
It requires time to sit with yourself and take an honest moment to think about what emerged, what worked, what didn’t, what can be done, and what can’t.
Daily journaling is a great tool to enable you to capture your reflections.
I believe that the more self-reflective you are the easier it becomes to make choices in line with your values.
Self-reflection has been shown to significantly improve learning and performance.
The more aware you of your choices and their impact, then the better the decisions will be that you make now and in the future.
Take time to self-reflect – daily!

πŽπ›πžππ’πžπ§πœπž – the key that opens every door.

β€œπŽπ›πžππ’πžπ§πœπž is the key that opens every door.” – C.S. Lewis
Yet, π’π’ƒπ’†π’…π’Šπ’†π’π’„π’† is not a positive word these days.
Generally, I have found the Dutch (and I love them) do not want anyone telling them what to do!
πŽπ›πžππ’πžπ§πœπž: β€œcompliance with an order, request, or law or submission to another’s authority.”
From Antwerp to Utrecht, over the last couple of days – I’ve shared a quote from Boyd K. Packer that states β€œπŽπ›πžππ’πžπ§πœπž is a powerful spiritual medicine. It comes close to being a cure-all.”
From β€œevery door” to β€œcure-all.”
I want some of that.
Do you?
This is an exciting time to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
And even more so to serve as a full time missionary.
We are blessed to able to serve day in, day out with approximately 120 voluntary missionaries here in Belgium and the Netherlands.
They are remarkable.
Each of them has an obedient heart.

πŽπ›πžππ’πžπ§πœπž is a principle of discipline, choice, and trust.

Learning of it, with exactness in our youth is β€œpowerful spiritual medicine” that can and does act as a guide for each of them as they chart their journey through life.
β€œIf you want to learn to fly an aeroplane, learn and follow the laws that govern gravity.
If you want to operate on the human heart, learn and follow the laws that govern the human body.
If you want to be happy, learn and keep the commandments.
It becomes a rather simple formula” – said Russell M. Nelson.
For your journey through life, one of the first things you need to know is this…
“There is a law, irrevocably decreed in heaven before the foundations of this world, upon which all blessings are predicated.
And when we obtain any blessing from God, it is by π¨π›πžππ’πžπ§πœπž to that law upon which it is predicated. (Doctrine & Covenants 130:20–21)
Please ponder that thought.
It states unmistakably the fact that there are principles upon which promises are predicated, and that obedience is the key to receiving blessings.
My experience is this – π¨π›πžππ’πžπ§πœπž with exactness, always brings safety and inner peace.
I hope that each of us will choose to follow the simple formula of π¨π›πžππ’πžπ§πœπž throughout our life.
Β© Copyright 2024 Daryl Watson. All Rights Reserved. Registered in Scotland, Company Number SC473068