Tag Archive for: dialogue

Heart to Heart

If your heart could speak, what would it say?
What does it really long to say?
What does it long to hear?
Being away for three years, has meant a lot of catch-up conversations recently.
Dialogue, with many dear friends and family, home and abroad, face to face and online.
Reflecting this morning on those conversations, I’ve realised that many of them have been heart to heart.

A definition…

Heart to Heart – “a serious conversation between two people, usually close friends, in which they talk honestly about their feelings.”
They haven’t been trivial or inconsequential.
Rather they’re deeper, somehow they feel much more vital and nourishing to each other’s souls, allowing our hearts to really connect.
There has been much more giving and receiving.
In addition, they have also created an even stronger relationship of mutual trust and understanding.
I have even listened to a lot of heartfelt emotions that I wasn’t aware of before.
And interestingly, I’ve begun to understand myself even more.
Significantly, there has been more undivided attention in those moments.
As the dialogue emerges from each other’s heart, the conversations are vulnerable and delicate.
Maybe it’s because for the first time in a while I have more time and am less distracted, but I have found that I am more thoughtful, more compassionate and found it easier to listen with more love.
I have learned to listen, reflect and respond in that order once more.
And I have also been reminded that without having open vulnerable dialogue – we cannot and will not grow.
Moments of struggle have been openly shared.
It is important too, to mean what you say and say what you mean.
Someone once said ““The beauty of a heart-to-heart conversation is that it allows us to share our deepest fears, joys, and dreams, knowing that we will be met with empathy and kindness.”
As I restart my coaching practice, I look forward to many more of these quite remarkable conversations.
“We are only as strong as we are united, as weak as we are divided.” – J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire)
When was the last time you had a heart-to-heart conversation with someone?

Dialogue

It was an afterthought.
Leaving for the office yesterday afternoon, I nipped back upstairs and picked up my box of CCS cards.

The Task

Later, as I started the meeting, I asked each participant to consider a question and then select three cards they regarded to be an answer to the question I posed.
Each participant was holding an identical pack of cards, with the same photographs, illustrations, and words.
Attentively, I watched as each member of the council started to thumb through the deck and select some images that captured their personal point of view.
I smiled, as I watched their faces light up, obviously amused as they shared and compared images with one another, they’d found interesting.
I was struck by their concentration, and evident delight in finding suitable cards that meant something to them in answer to the question I’d asked.

Sharing

Then, after some time, in our safe space, it was time to share.
I explained a little and observed again.
Quietly, deeply, respectfully, each person asked themselves “what is it that I most want to communicate”?
Randomly, one by one, each person articulated their thoughts with great depth of clarity and understanding, allowing them to speak about what was in their hearts and minds.
The personal insights shared were powerful and thought provoking.
Each participant said something that was true for them and everyone else respectfully listened.
It was clear as participants felt safe to share their half-formed ideas, and discover new meanings in a simple image, the energy in the room began to gather, and the atmosphere started to deepen for the dialogue that followed.

Outcomes

The purpose of the simple activity was to help participants to uncover and talk about their thoughts on the given subject.
Instead of getting down to business straight away as normal, it was just really nice to pause, talk and meet together as fellow human beings, by engaging in a meaningful conversation in a fun way.
It has been my experience as a facilitator, that saying something in a friendly, respectful, and informal way, early in a gathering, can set a pattern of full participation that can help maintain energy levels throughout any meeting.
Setting the scene yesterday, opened up a new way to ensure authentic dialogue throughout our meeting together, where crucially we really listened to one another.
How do you ensure authentic dialogue in your meetings?

Just Ask

After completing my university studies, I encountered Meta-Morphose, a specialist graduate sales recruitment and training company based in southwest England.
I endured a gruelling selection process and qualified for their programme.
Ultimately, with their assistance, I received a few work opportunities and subsequently embarked upon my sales career.
Although I was never the very top salesman, I did enjoy consistent success and over time managed several sales teams.
I also received a few accolades and for many years I was a judge in the UK National Sales Awards.
Sales eventually brought me into leadership, coaching, training and facilitation.
Early on in my career, I learned a very powerful lesson, that I want to share today.
In sales, most people spend the majority of their time and resources prospecting for new business, hunting down and finding new opportunities.
In my early days, there was a lot of cold calling, door knocking, direct mail, advertising etc.
Today, a lot of that now happens online.
However, I discovered that there is an easier and much more productive way.
It’s simple really, you just really have to remember to ask!

Would you like to know how?

The answer is asking for a referral.
Commonly known as a referral dialogue.
It’s not what you know, it’s what you do with what you know that counts.
Most of us just aren’t sure what words to use.
You don’t want to come across as high-pressured or pushy.
Or you don’t want to put a strain on a relationship.
With the right words, in a conversation, all of these obstacles can be removed.
The key is to reframe a conversation into something you can easily repeat over and over again.
There are many ways to ask, but you simply need to remember and ask!
𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐀𝐒𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆!!!
Practice with a peer who wants to generate more referrals too and you’ll come up with some great examples to use.
I know that success is nothing more than a few simple disciplines, routines, practiced every day, over and over again.
Go on – give it a go today, you’ll be surprised how effective it is!
Just remember to ask!!