Tag Archive for: decisions

Conversation Buddies

At our recent zone conferences, we held a communication activity.
We created a safe space to talk out loud and recreate a companionship council.
It was fun to observe, as each missionary verbalised their thinking.
They each taught one another something they didn’t know!
I noticed too, sometimes, we don’t listen to each other at all.
We may speak at each other, or past each other, rather than with each other.
Part of the exercise was to learn how to talk with one another in honest and effective ways.
Communication is an essential part of daily life, it’s like a lubricant for all our relationships.
Entering a conversation, we join with our own opinions, feelings, and experiences.
Conversations can hold immense power, create connection, and help us to grow.
With their conversation buddies, missionaries learned how to communicate more effectively, in turn leading to the need for some change.

Change

Change is hard.
We’re all human, and we all have our struggles, right?
Your biggest rival to change is most likely some internal obstacle that is going on in your head!
– A lack of confidence
– Laziness
– Procrastination
– Stubbornness
When we attempt to change, sometimes we may apply the wrong tactics.
Yet, daily, seemingly small decisions, can all add up to make a big difference.

Time

As I watch each missionary arrive at the start of their mission, over time, I see them develop, and change.
As each of them humbly turns to one another, and then ultimately turn to Jesus Christ’s great example, He increase’s their capacity to change.
Exercising their faith in Jesus Christ, it is only through Him, that they are all given the strength to make lasting changes in their lives.
He literally changes their hearts, because of His great love and empathy for the people He served.
He can and will do the same for each of us, as we accept His invitation to “Come Follow Him”.
Week in, week out, I am a witness to many, who have experienced a “change of heart” (Alma 5:26) as they learn more about divine communication.
Why not seek out a new conversation buddy, and speak with a missionary today…
How can faith in Jesus Christ help you to change?

Tick Tock

𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞 – it’s always running out for someone.
My assistants and I regularly talk about time.
We plan with exactness each 6-week transfer, 42 days to be precise.
Often, we specify minutes for planned events.
Growing older, my notion of time is that it goes faster and faster.
In the mission, there is always someone running out of time.
It focuses minds on the present.
How a watch measures time and how we as humans perceive it, are seemingly quite different.
Our ancestors measured time in days, weeks, months, seasons, and years.
Unlike our ancestors, our measurement of time is different.
Today, we measure time in milliseconds, seconds, minutes, and hours.
Blink, and weeks have gone.

Hymn

I love these words penned by Robert Baird.
“Time flies on wings of lightning;
We cannot call it back.
It comes, then passes forward
Along its onward track.
And if we are not mindful,
The chance will fade away,
For life is quick in passing.
’Tis as a single day.”
(“Improve the Shining Moments,” Hymns, no. 226)
Time is lightning paced.
Each of us are stewards of our time.
Each day counts.

Today

Commenting on world conditions this week UN Secretary-General Antonio Guterres said, “Our world is becoming unhinged.”
In 2019, President Russell M. Nelson said, “I plead with you who have distanced yourselves from the Church and with you who have not yet really sought to know that the Saviour’s Church has been restored. Do the spiritual work to find out for yourselves, and please do it 𝐧𝐨𝐰. 𝑻𝒊𝒎𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒓𝒖𝒏𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒐𝒖𝒕.”
It’s never too early or never too late to learn about Jesus Christ.
Take time today and speak to a missionary of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
It’ll be the best time you spend today.
Are you doing everything that you should be doing with your one precious life?

Faith v Fear – The Mull of Kintyre

Counselling many of the missionaries as they return home, reminded me of this experience from a few years ago.  I’ve shared it before, but it is time to share it again….

It was 2002. Setting off in the early hours of the morning, I knew it was going to be a very, very long day.

In fact, not one that I was particularly looking forward too. Following a client visit in Dumbarton, I arrived in Campbeltown around lunchtime. However, the journey down along the A83 that day was absolutely stunning – Scotland at its very best!. I was there on a sales visit with a supplier, who was demonstrating a new CCTV system to a large new potential client. It was only 175 miles from home, but it had taken over 4 hours to get there. After another 4 hours of demonstration, it was time to turn around and head home. By this time, it had gone 6pm. There wasn’t much of a rush hour down there, in fact I decided that I would take a leisurely drive back home. I didn’t have any real haste. The lessons learned over those next few hours were unquestionably a pivotal point in my life.

My Journey home

As I started back up the A83, the sun started to set. My thoughts turned from the demonstration of the afternoon, to much more important questions – such as “What am I doing with my life?”, “I’m not in the least bit interested in CCTV – so why am I driving for hours on end selling this stuff anyway?” “Is this just all about the money?”

As the light started to fade I pulled over to look over the sea towards Northern Ireland to view the onset of the night sky. It was a beautiful clear evening. As I was reflecting on all those questions and more, I witnessed several shooting stars as well as the Northern lights (for the first time), in all their majesty.

I gazed heavenward, it was a quite remarkable, inspiring light show.

I stood for a while fascinated by the beauty of creation. Those few moments had a real impact upon me. I started for home determined to face the future with much more faith and to embark upon a career journey that would enable me to get up every day and really love what I was doing.

Career Choices

That career journey has taken lots of twists and turns over the ensuing 21 years. There have been numerous difficult decisions. Lots and lots of personal procrastination, other seemingly more important priorities, along with mega doubts & fears within myself that I could actually do something that I loved.

The journey also included two redundancies, a challenging selection of opportunities in between, mixed with a real belief that I could eventually take the leap of faith, face the fear of the unknown and start on my own.

The differentiators?

A supportive family – who put up with me long enough and encouraged me to turn the dream into a reality. Supportive colleagues over many years, who helped me to understand the capabilities that I had been gifted with and developed over a long period of time. All of whom helped me develop my faith and take that step into the unknown. Thank you one and all.

“Smiles in the sunshine and tears in the rain
Still take me back where my memories remain
Flickering embers go higher and higher
As they carry me back to the Mull of Kintyre”

These are the words from the third verse of Paul McCartney’s – Wings #1 Hit record – The Mull of Kintyre. I have often reflected upon my journey that day and these words have always inspired me to reach for higher ideals, values and purpose in life.

So, it is with all of us – don’t settle for the mundane – in fact never settle for it!

It is important for each of us to have those meaningful conversations with ourselves and nearest and dearest about happiness and what makes each of us tick! If you are stuck in an unhappy career, perhaps its much more to do with your personal motivators.

Now is not the time to revisit Herzberg’s Motivation theory – around incentives and hygiene factors – but I wish to encourage you to look deep inside yourself and question the reason and purpose of your work – is it meaningful – is it what you really want to do? Looking inward is the critical step, to face up to your fear. Now is the time for faith – not fear!

I love this quote from a wise leader Boyd K. Packer, he stated… “Faith, to be faith, must centre around something that is not known. Faith, to be faith, must go beyond that for which there is confirming evidence. Faith, to be faith, must go into the unknown. Faith, to be faith, must walk to the edge of the light, and then a few steps into the darkness.”

One of my favourite poems is by Christopher Logue.

Come to the edge.
We might fall.
Come to the edge.
It’s too high!
COME TO THE EDGE!
And they came,
and he pushed,
and they flew.

As you consider your challenges at home, at school, or in the workplace – reflect upon those things that really matter most.

Face up to your fears, look inside and take those first few steps into the darkness – you can do it!

One cube or two?

That’s a question I’ve asked myself several times recently.

Most mornings for the last 4 weeks, I have added three teaspoons of honey to a mug of hot water.

Following my heavy cold, I’ve had an annoying cough that has lingered way too long!

One morning, in an effort to increase the efficacy of my magic healing concoction, I decided it may be a good idea to add a sugar cube.

One or two I thought?

One morning I tried one.

The next morning, I tried two.

And the result of my experiment?

Sadly, it didn’t help my cough, it only made feel a little guilty about adding more sugar to something that was already sweet.

The next morning, it was back to honey only.

We all make hundreds of decisions every day, some big and some small.

While some of these choices turn out great, chances are that not every decision will be a good one.

We’ve all made choices that we wish we hadn’t.

We all make mistakes, plenty of them in fact.

We never really lose anything when we make mistakes, maybe we do gain experience, hopefully some wisdom and perhaps some compassion for others when they make similar errors.

Bad decisions aren’t all that bad after all, especially if we learn from them.

In fact, you can benefit from all your previous bad choices right now.

And the lesson learned?

Honey is sweet enough!

Every wrong decision has a lesson to teach.

It can be painful to examine your wrong choices.

Do you know what’s even more painful though?

Making the same mistake again.

What have you learned from your unwise choices?

#choices #decisions

Jump in!

Did you dip your toes in the water a little?
OR
Did you jump in at the deep end?
Which metaphor describes your 2022?
What did you do particularly well?
𝑾𝒆𝒍𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒕𝒐 2023
As each year passes by, we never stay the same.
𝐖𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐰, 𝐰𝐞 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐧, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞.
Truth beknown, I learned last year that you can’t deliver your best work if you’re not energised!
I chose to jump in at the deep end and rediscovered the of power napping!
It’s been great!
It has reawakened a host of benefits for me.
I was keen to change and be reenergised!
I witnessed, time and time again many others who changed in a much more significant way.
There were many that I encountered who were seeking to change who met with our missionaries.
Many decided to jump in and become members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
It changed their whole life.
They too have been re-energised!
It has been a real joy to become acquainted with them.
Like many hundreds of thousands before them, they chose to dip their toes in a little to start with, and then decided to jump in!
Happiness often springs from small and unexpected sources.
You will find it in abundance as you choose to follow Jesus Christ this year.
That’s the message I would like to share with you as we start 2023…
All over the world in 2022, missionaries were life savers for thousands of others – just like you.
I look forward to becoming acquainted with you too.
Why not dip your toes in to start with?

Or better still, choose to jump in at the deep end! 😊

Either way, it’ll be the best decision you make this year.

The Rear View

Ｔｈｅ Ｒｅａｒ Ｖｉｅｗ
Are you spending too much time looking in the rear-view mirror of life?
Periodically looking back on your life and past events with the understanding that some emotions may resurface from time to time, is okay.
It is certainly okay to wonder and ask, what if?
But how much time do you spend there?
Throughout my coaching career I have found that individuals often wonder what may have happened if they had done something differently or made a different choice.
For instance, what would have happened:
– 𝑰𝒇 they’d married the other person…
– 𝑰𝒇 they’d studied for a different degree…
– 𝑰𝒇 they’d taken the other job…
– 𝑰𝒇 they’d lived in another city or country…
It is okay to acknowledge those speculations, but don’t dwell or brood on them for too long.
Experience is a great teacher.
All of us live with some regrets.
They are a part of you, but they do not define you.
Instead focus on what you learned from them and how they have shaped you today.
Ultimately, it’s a bit like those drivers who stare in the rear-view mirror for far too long and run the risk of missing what lies ahead.
There may have been some crashes behind us, but it’s the bends ahead that matter now.
𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒔𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒔 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒊𝒏 𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒏𝒕 𝒐𝒇 𝒚𝒐𝒖.
Don’t let your rear-view mirror be bigger than your front windshield.
Stop looking backward and start looking forward.
Remember you are the one in the driver’s seat!
How are you living your life by looking forwards?

Medium…

𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐣𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐨𝐝𝐚𝐲?
Monic and I love to take walks through Leidschendam.
The length of our walk is generally determined by the amount of time we have allocated to exercise in our daily routines.
We have identified three routes.
Short – 20 minutes
Medium – 40 minutes
Long – 1 hour
Our morning conversation usually goes something like this.
“Is it short, medium or long today?”
Yesterday, we decided the “medium” walk was in order.
We then put in the necessary effort to make the journey.
As usual, we enjoyed our walk together.
Talking, observing, laughing, sharing and planning.
Regularly we are surprised how very few people we see out walking.
Oftentimes, we will complete our walks without meeting a soul.
Yesterday we especially enjoyed seeing and hearing the green parakeets. There were about 10 of them and they like to make a lot of noise.
In addition, we loved seeing many little ducklings.
Slowing down allows us to see, feel and hear different things.
It is during our walks that I notice many simple moments are filled with a sense of connection and peace.
Why is that we miss so many moments in our own life?
Is it that there are always more busy thoughts that preoccupy our minds?
It’s time to slow down.
Where will your journey lead today?

Just this once

“Can’t we do it just this once President?”

Sound familiar?

Small choices, big consequences!

The question reminded me of this piece from a long time ago by Richard L. Evans.

“There is in our language a dangerously disarming phrase by which people often persuade other people to compromise principles.

It is the phrase “𝐉𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞.”

“Just this once” has a siren-like lure.

It is the forerunner of the phrase “Just once more.”

It is the beckoning voice of a false friend that leads us from safety to a false position, first “Just this once,” and then “Just once more.”

“Just once more won’t matter.”

“Just once more, and then I’ll quit.”

And so, we sometimes move from one false step to another, often deluding ourselves into thinking that this is the last time.

In some social and personal matters, many of us live somewhat this way.

Tomorrow

We may know, for example, that we are living our lives at a pace we cannot keep up, but we hate to refuse a friend. Thus, we are led from obligation to obligation, and each time we say “yes,” we tell ourselves that we are saying it “Just this once” and that tomorrow will be better.

But tomorrow is seldom better except as we have the backbone to make it better.

In matters of eating and appetite, people often go from one indulgence to another, always saying to themselves, “Just this once, Tomorrow I begin to diet.” “Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow.”

“Just this once” becomes especially serious when people persuade other people that a principle is a matter of frequency rather than a clear-cut matter of right or wrong.

It is true that a onetime offender is looked upon with more leniency than a frequent offender. But stealing “Just this once,” lying “Just this once,” deceiving “Just this once,” or any other act of immorality urged upon anyone “Just this once” is a dangerous doctrine.

“Just this once” is a long step, but “Just once more” is an easier step, and so men often forget their own fetters from link to link.

If it isn’t right, let it alone. Don’t do “Just this once” what shouldn’t be done at all.”

Listen out for the phrase in your own life – you may be surprised how often it occurs.

Consider your actions carefully, and the consequences that may occur.

How will you respond next time?

The Right Thing

“𝐀𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠?” I asked…
Life has some strange turns – let me explain.
Recently I recalled an experience from some years ago, when I faced a difficult moment of truth, when my moral courage was challenged to do the right thing.
I was faced with a difficult decision of remaining quiet during a tough sales negotiation with a senior colleague, or correcting (what seemed to me) a deliberate glaring error that my colleague had made.
The error that was influencing the clients buying decision in a very positive way.
Correcting and embarrassing my colleague in front of the client was forefront of my mind – I didn’t want to do that.
So, I decided to wait for a break in our negotiations.
During the break, I pointed out the error to my senior colleague – who was not too pleased with me. I chose to hold my ground.
Some minutes later, it was determined to return to the negotiation table, share the mistake (at great cost to our deal), but secure the deal with our integrity intact.

We did “𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒓𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈.”

I was reminded by a quote by Gordon B. Hinckley; “The problem with most of us is that we are afraid to stand up for what we believe, to be witnesses for what is true and right. We want to do the right thing, but we are troubled by fears. So we sit back, and the world drifts about us, and society increasingly adopts attitudes and standards of behaviour that most of us do not approve of.”
My message today is – consider your moral compass and choose to do 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠!
Do what is right even though it seems that you will be alone in so doing.
Your conscience will always be clear and the truth will set you free.
Facing a tough choice today? Remember to do the right thing.
#integrity

You….growing older.

It is later than you think.
Remember how short our time is.
It is a characteristic of youth to suppose that life is long and time is in abundance.
Growing older is never easy.
There comes a time in everyone’s life when confronting ourselves with ourselves is mandatory.
“There is an old man (or woman) up there ahead of you that you ought to know.
He looks somewhat like you, walks like you.
He has your nose, your eyes, your chin.
And whether he loves you or hates you, respects you or despises you, whether he is angry or comfortable, whether he is miserable or happy, depends on you.
For 𝒚𝒐𝒖 made him. He is 𝒚𝒐𝒖, grown older.” – Author unknown.
What kind of narrative are you writing for your life?