Tag Archive for: coaching

We Are Our Thoughts

Our thoughts are incredibly powerful.
They affect us in many ways – our mood, our behaviours and our outlook on life.
I’ve always loved the scripture in Proverbs 23:7, “For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he…”
Recently I have been paying much more attention to the things I am thinking every day.
I consider whether my thoughts are positive, negative or even neutral.
…Apply the proverb to real life…
If my thoughts are filled with positivity, then so I will be.
…with negativity, then so I will be.
We literally become our thoughts.
We 𝒂𝒓𝒆 our thoughts.
In short – I am learning again that the quality of my thoughts has a direct impact on the quality of my life.
I love this quote by Dr. Wayne Dyer: “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change”
Subsequently, if you want to have a more meaningful and purposeful life, then begin to pay more attention to the things you think about every day.
Start by considering the things you tell yourself every day.
For example, are you struggling with someone?
A spouse, partner, a sibling, parents, a friend, or a workmate perhaps?
Pause for a moment and stop yourself.
Watch your thoughts…
Do you see what is happening in that moment?
What do you think about in your heart, when you think of them?
What do you notice?
Are your thoughts negative or positive?
If its negative, challenge yourself, and your thinking.
For me those challenges start early in the morning, when I make plans for the day ahead.
Start by engaging new positive thoughts and watch them start to grow day by day.
See how it feels.
I am relearning that when we change your thoughts, you can change your life, one thought at a time.
What would happen if you took just one thought today and intentionally shifted it from negative to positive?

Looking Back

“You’re looking well Dave” I said.
“And you too Daryl” he replied.
And so began our lovely lunch with one another, earlier this week in Stirling.
Dave and I were colleagues many years ago, collaborating on numerous large-scale, challenging projects during our time working together.
Lunch was delicious.
We got caught up on our family situations.
And we talked about what we were doing now.
But what we really enjoyed was taking time to reflect upon our many experiences we’d share together, twenty plus years ago.
Looking back allowed us to revisit past experiences with the clarity of hindsight.

New Insights

As we shared our thoughts and feelings, we found they often revealed insights that we’d missed in the moment, from many years ago.
Indeed, we found looking back useful, because it gave us both a new perspective.
Revisiting those moments with Dave added another layer of richness, as his perspective shed light on details I’d never considered.
Part of enjoying life lies in celebrating our accomplishments and milestones, and there were certainly plenty of those during the time Dave and I worked side by side.
Whilst reflecting on some of those daunting challenges we faced together, our shared response was, “I’d never thought about it quite like that before.”
Looking back isn’t just about nostalgia—it’s an opportunity for growth.
We both recognised how far we’d come and understood a little better how the many challenges we’d faced together had shaped us, and to some extent, influenced our future decisions.
There is something very powerful about reflecting on the past together.
We both realised how much we’d influenced each other; in ways we’d never considered.
Looking back certainly helped us to understand how our past experiences had shaped us, but somehow it also helped us to look ahead to the future with renewed confidence.
It was a real joy to strengthen our bonds of friendship, celebrate our successes and gain a deeper empathy for and understanding of each other – after far, far too long!
Thanks Dave – and I’ll pay next time!
When you look back on where you’ve been, how does it shape the way you see your path ahead?

New Beginnings

Life is filled with many twists and turns.
“When one door closes another door opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the ones which open for us.” – Alexander Graham Bell
At some point in our lives, I believe we will all experience the metaphorical closing of doors, don’t we?
Walking through one door, often closes another.

Closing

Yet, for me, it is a constant reminder that each ending leads to a new beginning, full of endless possibilities.
Returning from Belgium and the Netherlands in the summer has meant that I have experienced a few months of doors opening and closing.
I have started to think what would have never happened if that door hadn’t closed?
“Doors close regularly in our lives, and some of those closings cause genuine pain and heartache.” – Howard W. Hunter
Closed doors can and do provide valuable lessons and insights.
They test our resilience and perseverance, causing us to reflect and reconsider our goals and aspirations.

Opening

Each time a door closes (occasionally they are slammed shut) I need to remind myself that the rest of the world opens up.
And yet, gazing back and dwelling too long on the past, can mean we lose sight of those opportunities opening up ahead.
Sometimes in that moment it can be difficult to see and believe.
Hope can fade.
I have learned again that we need to stop beating on the door that just closed, put it behind us, and look forward to the largeness of life that lies ahead for us.
This is certainly true for me.
I have learned again about waiting and to be patient.
Now with a few doors slightly ajar, I have also learned that when opportunity comes knocking, I need to be ready to answer the door.
Now it’s time to rise once more and walk through the new doors of opportunity that inevitably come along.
Don’t be afraid of opening and closing doors.
Don’t fear them.
Learn from them.
Choose to set out on our life journeys with optimism and be ready to welcome every door that opens along the way.
What can prevent you from seeing a new open door?

A Ball of String

Recently I was asked, “As a facilitator, what are your favourite learning tools in your backpack?”
I smiled…
There are many “essentials” that I carry in my backpack when I facilitate a workshop.
– Pens, markers (sharpies or neuland refillables), dry board markers, paper, post it notes.
– CCS Cards, Organisation Cards and other cards to write on
– My laptop, a pointer/clicker, extra batteries, an external mouse and a thumb drive.
– Masking tape.
– Power adaptors
– Rubber bands and Paper clips
And last but not least, my very favourite, it goes everywhere, my 𝒃𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒐𝒇 𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈!
It’s a short list but these few supplies have gotten me out of a lot of jams, consistently bring energy to the room, and help me to create memorable moments in any learning session.
So why a ball of string?
A simple ball of string is often underestimated, but it is a highly effective tool in facilitation.
Its versatility makes it a powerful symbol and practical tool for measuring and demonstrating different behaviours and concepts in various workshops.
Here are 2 simple examples of how I’ve used it recently…

Example 1

As a measurement tool, by using it as a line on the floor and asking participants to gauge their thoughts and feelings about something.
For example, I explain that one end of the line is “Strongly Agree,” the opposite end is “Strongly Disagree,” and the middle represents a neutral stance.
The activity always involves making decisions about how much they agree or disagree with statements or questions that I ask.
On every occasion, I invite participants to position themselves on the line to indicate their view, leading to some fascinating discussion and varied opinions.
Another one I use string for is to help people understand the importance of connection and communication within a team.

Example 2

When one person talks or shares an idea, they hold onto the string and toss the ball to someone else.
As the string weaves across the group, it creates a visual web of connections, symbolising how each person’s input influences the others.
It can be a powerful illustration of interdependency in any team, and how communication flows through and binds a team together.
A ball of string is more than a basic tool as it can symbolise and practically demonstrate essential leadership behaviours.
What’s in your backpack?

Is it time to move on?

Recognising that you’ve outgrown something—whether it’s a job, relationship, hobby, or even a lifestyle—can be a challenging but necessary step in personal growth.

I find we hold onto familiar things out of comfort or fear of the unknown.

Yet, life is constantly evolving, and outgrowing certain aspects of it is a natural part of this journey.

As a coach, I’ve discovered that there are some tell-tale signs that it’s time to move on.

Stagnation and Lack of Growth

One of the most common signs that you’ve outgrown something is a feeling of stagnation.

You’re no longer learning, evolving, or feeling challenged in a meaningful way, manifesting itself as boredom or frustration.

At work for instance, you might find that your tasks have become monotonous, with no opportunities for advancement or development.

Or in a relationship, it could feel like there is no deeper connection or emotional growth happening.

If you feel stagnant, it’s time to re-evaluate your goals.

Ask yourself what you really want to achieve and whether your current situation is helping you get there.

Set new goals that challenge you, and make small steps toward them.

It could mean seeking a new job, learning new skills, or communicating openly with others about what you need for growth in relationships.

Consistent Frustration or Unhappiness

When you’ve outgrown something, feelings of frustration, dissatisfaction, or even resentment often start to surface.

You may feel like you’re stuck or wasting your potential.

In relationships, this can manifest as constant arguments or feeling emotionally drained.

In a career, it can feel like you’re simply going through the motions without any real fulfilment.

If you consistently feel unhappy, it’s important to acknowledge your feelings.

My favourite is journaling, I know it can help you reflect on what’s causing these emotions.

Or with the help of a coach or friend, identify whether the frustration stems from something you can change within your current situation, or whether it’s time to move on entirely.

You may need to set boundaries or have tough conversations, or it could be time to explore new opportunities that align more with your values and passions.

You Feel Disconnected

Another sign is a growing sense of disconnection.

Things that once brought you joy, excitement, or passion may now feel empty.

You might feel like you just don’t belong.

Take time to reconnect with yourself by engaging in self-reflection and mindfulness.

Spend time figuring out what excites and energises you now.

This could mean rediscovering old passions or trying new activities.

If you feel disconnected from a social group or relationship, it may be time to seek out new connections that resonate more with who you’ve become.

Your Values or Priorities Have Changed

As we grow, our values and priorities often shift.

You may start to realise that what once mattered most no longer aligns with your current beliefs or goals.

This could happen with friendships, jobs, or even personal habits.

For instance, a career path that once seemed ideal might no longer align with your desire for work-life balance or personal fulfilment.

When your values change, it’s crucial to realign your life accordingly.

Begin by making a list of your current priorities and values.

What’s truly important to you now?

Once you have clarity on these, you can begin making decisions that align with your new values.

This might mean changing careers, pursuing more meaningful hobbies, or prioritising different relationships.

You Daydream About Something New

If you frequently find yourself daydreaming about a different job, relationship, or lifestyle, it could be a clear sign that you’ve outgrown your current situation.

These daydreams often reflect unmet desires or unfulfilled potential.

Rather than dismiss these thoughts, explore them further.

What is it that you’re yearning for?

Is it adventure, creativity, a deeper connection, or more freedom?

Once you’ve identified your desires, start taking concrete steps toward making those dreams a reality.

Research new opportunities, network with people who are in fields or lifestyles that interest you, or create a plan to gradually transition into something new.

In Conclusion

Outgrowing something is a natural part of life, and while it can feel unsettling, it’s also an opportunity for growth and renewal.

A coach can help you along your way.

By recognising the signs—stagnation, unhappiness, disconnection, shifting values, and daydreaming—you can take proactive steps to move forward.

Whether it’s setting new goals, engaging in self-reflection, or seeking new challenges, the key is to embrace change and create a life that aligns with your current self.

If you’re in that space now, message me, I’m happy to listen and help…

 

Accreditation, Certification and Experience

Recently, I was asked; “What is your coaching certification again please?”

In response I stated, “I have an ILM Level 5 Diploma in Coaching & Mentoring.”

“You don’t have 𝐞𝐱𝐞𝐜𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 certification then…more of our clients require 𝐞𝐱𝐞𝐜𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 certification now…” came the reply.

And thus, my soul searching, research and many conversations began.

My ILM Level 5 required 100 hours of coaching, 3 x assessments, 5 days of workshops and a whole host of other requirements too.

Here I am, ten years after being certified by the ILM, looking again at what options were available to gain an ILM Level 7 Certificate or Diploma in Executive Coaching and Mentoring.

The executive certificate is 20 hours of coaching, the executive diploma is 60 hours of coaching, both with 3 x assessments and 4 or 5 days of workshops either online or face to face.

Both involved spending anywhere between £2.5K and £6K, to gain the certification.

I looked at other options with the AOEC, the ICF and the EMCC.

I started to add up not only the monetary costs, but the opportunity costs and the time and commitment it was going to take me to get the word “𝐞𝐱𝐞𝐜𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞” on my certification.

Thoughts around the sunk cost fallacy started to play into my mind.

I considered how much future business I’d lose, if I don’t have that word in my certification.

Time to pause and reflect…

“Was it worth all the effort and expense?” I thought.

Whilst all of this was going on, I had the most wonderful conversation with my former coaching Supervisor, who brought me back to reality…

“I wouldn’t underestimate the value of your Level 5 diploma,” said Gwynneth.

“And remember the ‘curriculum’ and structure of the L7 are not so different after all.”

Suddenly it all started to make sense.

For ten years and more, I’ve accumulated some nearly 8,000+ hours of one-one coaching, team coaching and mentoring.

I’ve coached throughout the leadership pipeline, from members of the Board, Chief executives, Managing Directors, Senior Managers, Middle & Junior Managers, to top talent and future leaders.

I’ve designed, delivered and facilitated global coaching programmes online and face to face.

Whatever way you look at it, that’s a heck of a lot of experience.

I’ve had numerous expressions of thanks, and I’ve received many testimonials too.

I had a choice to make, which included doing nothing at all, by simply carrying on as before.

I actually didn’t need to expend several thousands of pounds to get another word in my diploma, I have more than enough experience already.

Other Options?

But perhaps there was another option.

“Is there any other way to show my experience…” I thought.

And then the penny dropped.

I’ve been a member of the Association for Coaching for the last ten years.

I’d even attended many of their workshops/learning sessions either online or face to face.

So, I explored becoming a “Fellow” of the Association which recognises for a small additional annual cost, the experience that I’d gained over all those years.

Subsequently, I am pleased to say that I am now a “Fellow of the Association for Coaching”, which credits me for the many years of professional experience and contributions to the world of coaching and mentoring that I have made.

If you are one of those many coaches out there, where some clients are demanding the word “executive” in your credentials, before you make any rash, expensive decisions, perhaps you should think again.

Fellow Certificate_Daryl Watson

Showing Up

Will you be attending a meeting of any kind today?
Perhaps it’s a coaching session, a one-day training seminar, a job interview, a meeting with your boss, or even a visit with an elderly parent.
In my lifetime, I have sat through tens of thousands of different kinds of meetings.
There are those that I was fully prepared for, excited to attend and others that I simply “showed up” and completely missed the purpose of the event.
Do you know what I mean?
Physically present, but mentally absent…
Something else was on my mind…other thoughts, worries, plans or whatever.
Have you been there?

Being Present

“Showing up,” in its most powerful sense, means being present – cognitively and emotionally.
In my view, “showing up” is about being present for others while putting your own desires and ambitions to the side.
It demands active preparation, engagement, mental readiness, and emotional presence.
As a coach, as I prepare for any session, I carefully consider what I may encounter ahead with my client.
It is a matter of focus, choosing to be fully present and engaged.
I may ask myself, “What is the purpose of this session, and how can I add value?”
True presence in a coaching session or any meeting requires active listening and observation, which goes beyond what’s being heard and seen, its about what you feel too.
Actively engaging with the ideas presented allows you to better contribute to the discussion.
Pausing to reflect on the information, asking questions, and offering thoughtful feedback shows that you’re mentally engaged and not just physically present.
Just prior to a recent important meeting, I practiced a mindfulness technique of deep breathing beforehand to help my focus and listening.
Being emotionally present is also essential.
Your attitude and energy can either inspire or demotivate, and will help you to read the room and the moment.
Check in with your emotions and pause before entering the meeting to ensure you’re bringing positive energy.
Showing up is a skill, and like all skills, it needs to be continuously put into practice.
But you can do it.
You will come away from your experiences, changed, simply because you showed up!
What will you do to “show up” today?

Human Connections

All week long I’ve been building relationships, making new acquaintances, or catching up with people I hadn’t seen for a long time.
It felt like a lot.
Between 1-1 meetings, coaching sessions, presentations, associate team gatherings, new business relationships, family and friends, I reckon I have interacted with around 350+ different people this week, either face to face or online.
In my personal studies, I researched a lot about Gen Z, those born between 1997 and 2012.
Research shows that despite being the most digitally connected generation, Gen Z is also one of the loneliest.
Their online interactions often lack the depth and emotional nuance of face-to-face communication.
The isolation brought on by COVID-19 exacerbated this, leaving many feeling disconnected.
In my studies, I discovered a new term 𝒅𝒊𝒔-𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒆
𝐝𝐢𝐬 – meaning “lack” or “absence” and 𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 – meaning “comfort” or “well-being”.
Thus, 𝐝𝐢𝐬-𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 refers to a state of unease, discomfort, or tension.
It isn’t necessarily a physical illness, but rather a psychological, emotional, or even spiritual imbalance.
In my view, we are actually living in a time of massive dis-ease and disconnection.
Technology seems to connect us more than ever, but the reality is that the screens around us disconnect us from the marvels of nature, from our true selves, and from family and friends.
So, how do we overcome this dis-ease or malaise?
This week I had a discussion with a new friend about building connections.
In order to thrive, we all need human connections and face to face interactions.
Those “horizontal” connections are the foundation for our emotional, mental, and physical wellbeing.
But there is also a “vertical” connection that is equally important, with our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, that nourishes our spiritual wellbeing.
Jesus said, “Learn of me … and ye shall find rest unto your souls” (Matthew 11:29).
Connection with deity is vital to our sense of meaning in this life.
When we build a relationship with God, we better understand the plan He has for us.
“And this is life eternal, that they might know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent” —John 17:3
How have you felt “rest unto your soul” recently?

The Good Old Days

We are made up of our memories.
And last night a few came flooding back, as Phil Gibbins and I took a stroll down memory lane….
Stepping back in time, we met at our old Oliver Wyman office at 55 Baker Street in London, followed by a meandering walk in the area and then to a favourite restaurant on Marylebone High Street.
We exchanged a warm hug; joyful smiles were ever present, and our conversation flowed easily as we engaged with one another to reminisce about “𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒈𝒐𝒐𝒅 𝒐𝒍𝒅 𝒅𝒂𝒚𝒔”.

Storytelling

As we shared our fun memories, there were stories galore and the air was filled with frequent laughter as we spoke about our crazy antics.
Together we’d weathered some notable experiences during our time frame of shared history, working side by side from 2008 – 2012.
Nostalgic moments, as we felt the power of the past that shaped our present.
Days never to be forgotten!
Over the years, although we’d connected once or twice in bite size chunks on LinkedIn and Zoom, those feelings were simply not the same as seeing each other after such a long time, in real life, to share a drink and meal together.
It was a heart warming reunion, a shared rekindling of a connection that time will never erode.

Life Happens

Life has happened and we are no longer who we once were, the signs of the passage of time had taken their toll!
Our night wasn’t just about the past, as we got caught up on each other’s current lives our aspirations and how much we had changed.
It was an occasion to reflect and appreciate just how far we had come.
A little older and perhaps a little wiser, but still as cantankerous as ever!
“It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.”- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Maintaining ties with the past is so important.
Meeting up with Phil last night reminded me of the old Joseph Parry quote, “Make new friends but keep the old. One is silver, and the other is gold.” – it’s just so true.
As the night came to a close, we recalled our taxi driver “Malcolm” who’d regularly pick us up at Manchester Airport, and the priceless discovery that after all those years he was still on the speed dial of my phone!
Departing, we promised each other that we wouldn’t leave it so many years until we met again, perhaps next time too, with a few other former colleagues alongside for good measure!
What is the most interesting or funniest memory you’ve taken away from a reunion?

Stretching, Growing and Learning

Over many years, I have had the opportunity and privilege to work in many leadership roles.
Lessons in leadership come in many ways.
I’ve certainly been stretched on many occasions as I struggled to get my head around the particular challenge of the day.
I’ve grown too in knowledge and understanding about how to handle many difficult situations.
And, I have learned so much about people, behaviours and what it means to be a good leader by putting the interests and needs of others first.
Oftentimes, I have benefited too from the guidance of other leaders who have inspired me.
Reflecting upon the last three years in Belgium and the Netherlands, working with 300+ young 18 – 26-year-old future potential leaders, I learned many lessons.

Stretching…

Time and time again, stretching opportunities came along for each of them to learn new skills.
Daily, growth opportunities arose for all of them to take on new challenges.
And regularly they all had opportunities to receive constructive feedback through 1-1 and team coaching/mentoring sessions.
Together we celebrated our successes.
When times were tough, when failures happened, we’d counsel with one another and figure out how to improve.
We learned a lot about slowing down.
Partnering with them, empowering them and trusting them to deliver their best work was key.
In any new growth situation, where we are learning and growing, our focus on what matters most is paramount.
Stretching happened every day.
And like many physical exercises, it is easy to grow tired!
No pain, no gain!
Small steps and little victories are key to forward progress.
Leadership guru, John Maxwell whilst speaking about the Law of the Rubber Band said; “Growth stops when you lose the tension between where you are and where you could be. There are many uses for a rubber band, but it’s of no use or value until it’s stretched.”
Just like a rubber band, you will never reach your full potential unless you are stretched!
Frequently, I was asked “How do I become a better leader?”
To start, take yourself out of your comfort zone and be prepared to be stretched.
Embrace the tension and put the resistance to work!
What kind of things are stretching you at the moment?