Tag Archive for: choices

Time

As a teenager, only moments ago, I had time aplenty. However, youth moves quickly to maturity.
Now, in my mid 50’s – I’m acutely aware of my mortality, my time here on earth is running out!
Families that were once young, are then grown, and then gone.
If we have lived through half a century, a quarter or even a fifth of a century, we know how quickly time has come and gone.
Like me, if you have lived through half a century, then you’ll know as I do that two times our lifetime isn’t very long at all!
Time is so full and yet so fleeting, and upon its use depends all the possibilities that there are.
Sometimes we can think of the past as a thing quite apart from the present. Really they are one eternal round.
As Goethe put it, “things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least.”
Jack N. Gerard observed “We live in a world of information overload, dominated by ever-increasing distractions that make it more and more difficult to sort through the commotion of this life. Unless we take the time to reflect, we may not realise the impact of this fast-paced environment on our daily lives and the choices we make.”
As I flick through TV channels, or scroll through social media, too often I find a world saturated with incessant noise, much of which is too loud, garish and crude. We need to pause and contemplate what we choose to do with the precious gift of time, before we fritter it away in frivolous “trivial tripe!” said James E Faust.
We don’t need more time. We have all the time there is. No one has more of it than each of us has. We must manage ourselves accordingly, rather than allowing conditions to manage us. Step back from the world – ask yourself how will I measure my life?
Words may change, styles may change, the man-made manner of life may change, but the stars in the heaven retain their course, and I know that our Father in Heaven and Jesus Christ, the creator of heaven and earth and all things are, remain in command.
“Time is clearly not our natural dimension. This it is that we are never really at home in time because we belong to eternity. Time, as much as any one thing, whispers that we are strangers here.” Neal A. Maxwell.
Treasure your time, value it, use it wisely. Much will come from very little effort if we slow down, observe and see.
How will you choose to use your time allotment today?

Interruptions!

“Will I answer that?” I thought.

It had been an extremely busy day.  Our schedule was packed full.  On arriving home around 3.30pm yesterday, I said to Monic that I was going for a walk to get some fresh air, stretch my legs and generally chill for half an hour.  I asked if she wanted to come, but she needed to attend to some other things.

So, off I strode, along to the canal side to enjoy a pleasant stroll and clear my thoughts.

Pausing along the way to enjoy the nature and the windmill, I pulled out my phone to take a picture.

And there it was, the phone was silently ringing, some young missionaries were trying to get a hold of me.  And then came the thought above!

What is it about a ringing phone that compels us to answer it?

I was so enjoying my little walk!

Interruptions!  How do you deal with them?

So, I chose to answer the call.

“Do you have a minute?”  asked the young missionary, “I just have one quick question. I can call you back if it is not a good time?”

Smiling, “on you go” I said.

We spoke for 10 minutes and resolved the immediate matter at hand.  We talked, shared, asked questions, problem solved and above all I listened.

How many times a day do you hear those fateful words?

Frequently, one-minute turns into 10, one question becomes several, and you can end up losing big chunks of your day.  Balancing the need to be accessible and productive is a challenge that we all face at times.

All that said, I enjoyed our conversation.  We resolved a few things together and followed up later with an email to address the main concern.

Interruptions happen, so it’s how you deal with them that matters.  Over the years I have learned to expect them!

Each of us oftentimes face many random factors in our day. They will control you unless you control them. It’s your choice.  And yesterday I chose to take the call, and I am glad I did!

My advice, if you do need to interrupt someone, give them the option of turning you down without appearing rude. For instance, instead of “I just have one quick question,” ask “Is now a good time to talk?”

Slowing down, to Speed up

On this chilly snow filled February morning, my thoughts turned to a memory from a few years ago. This is one of my favourite pictures of my son Kyle and I, just south of Provo, Utah on the western edges of the Rocky Mountains, in the Wasatch Front, April 2013. Waking up today, to our best snowfall of the year in Scotland, having a couple of these snowmobiles would have been really handy!

I recall those couple of days in Utah, in the middle of nowhere. Those snowmobiles were fast! Reaching speeds of up to 70 mph on snow filled meadows that seemed to go on forever, was great fun, exhilarating and terrifying all at the same time for the pair of us.

With today’s weather, it is very likely that I won’t get very far at all. Unlike those snowmobiles, equipped for the most challenging of winter weather, my ability to travel anywhere at speed today is likely to be limited to trudging through the snow on foot at best.

Like many of the storms we pass through in life, I have found that the direction we choose whilst travelling through them, is more important than any speed we attain.

Slow down and stay safe, wherever you are today.

What part will you play today?

What “𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭” will you play today?

Every day – I make commitments to myself, my family members, my friends, my work clients and to voluntary opportunities that I love to serve in.

For example, yesterday I had a key “𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭” to play as the facilitator in a global virtual workshop, with 129 participants. I turned up at 6.00am (GMT), ready to guide each participant through the experience. Shortly afterwards my heart leapt when I received this lovely comment – “I must say today’s session was one of the best ever with such a spontaneous audience and so many volunteers! Thank you as always for making it so engaging and delivering it with such high energy!”

I loved playing my “𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭” in the whole experience.

Yesterday, I was also thrilled to play my 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 as a husband, a father, a son, a brother, a coach, a friend, a servant and a leader.

Wherever you are, whatever you choose to do with your life, may I invite you to consider this phrase quoted so frequently by David O. McKay – “What e’er thou art, act well thy 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭”.

Acting your part well simply means that wherever you are and whatever you are doing, you choose to do it to the best of your ability and to be as useful as you possibly can.

How will you choose to play your “𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭” today?

Does 9.00 am exist?

“Does 9.00 am exist” I asked the delegates on the virtual time management workshop. Unanimously they responded “yes!” followed by a few whispers and puzzled faces.

As we explored the concept of time together, everyone soon realised that 9.00 am, along with 24 hours, 1,440 minutes and indeed 86,400 seconds were all simply something that mankind had created to manage time better – the study of horology is fascinating! We concluded – 9.00 am isn’t real! In fact the only thing that is real, is day & night, along with the seasons – spring, summer, autumn and winter.

Each of us are stewards of our time here upon earth. Each and every day counts.

Henry B. Eyring captured it well when he said – “Someday, when you know who you really are, you will be sorry you didn’t use your time better.”

I love these words penned by Robert Baird:

Time flies on wings of lightning;
We cannot call it back.
It comes, then passes forward
Along its onward track.
And if we are not mindful,
The chance will fade away,
For life is quick in passing.
’Tis as a single day.

Consider these questions focused on different time frames…

Are you doing everything that you should be doing with your one precious life?

How will you choose to fill the blank pages of your book of life today?

A big stick!

You’re safe, I’m not going to hit you with this big stick!

Do you remember the Stephen Covey quote “When you pick up one end of the stick, you pick up the other.”

Many years ago, whilst walking home with our golden Labrador Shane, he found a big stick and was determined to carry it all the way home.  A fence with a narrow opening became a massive problem for Shane.  Carrying the stick, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t get through, as the stick was longer than the narrow opening in the fence.  Several attempts at manoeuvring his head and his body in different directions, proved unsuccessful – he couldn’t do it.  Eventually, I took the stick from his mouth, carried it through the fence and gave it back to him on the other side.

I have never forgotten that experience with Shane.  I remember watching him try over and over again.  It was only when I intervened, was the obstacle overcome.

So it is with all of our choices in life.

We are free to choose our actions – “you pick up one end of the stick” but if we think that those choices are simply isolated to us alone – we are mistaken “you [also] pick up the other [end of the stick]”.

Both ends of the stick came with Shane that day.  The consequences quickly followed.

What are the consequences of whatever “stick” you choose to action and pick up today?

Choices

Earlier this morning, I discovered this poem circulating on social media – appropriately written for our time. Before hastily returning to your pre-lockdown life, please consider these words. I hope we will all choose a better way. Enjoy!

“And the people stayed home. And read books, and listened, and rested, and exercised, and made art, and played games, and learned new ways of being, and were still. And listened more deeply. Some meditated, some prayed, some danced. Some met their shadows. And the people began to think differently.

And the people healed. And, in the absence of people living in ignorant, dangerous, mindless, and heartless ways, the earth began to heal.

And when the danger passed, and the people joined together again, they grieved their losses, and made new choices, and dreamed new images, and created new ways to live and heal the earth fully, as they had been healed.”

𝑨𝒇𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒆: The poem is attributed to various authors from 1869, 1919 and even now in 2020 variations of the name Kathleen O’Mara, Catherine M. O’Meara and Kitty O’Meara. My own research indicates it was written only a few weeks ago for our day by Kitty O’Meara.

What are you choosing to change?

Choose the right

“There is a great loneliness in leadership, but, I repeat, we have to live with ourselves. A man has to live with his conscience. A man has to live up to his inner feelings – as does a nation – and we must face that situation.” Gordon B. Hinckley – 1969

Some may criticise me for posting this and there may be some polarised views, but these are the sentiments of my heart and mind.

Each of us will face key hinge points in our life, where moral courage and conviction is required. Last week, we witnessed, a lone man of conscience, Mitt Romney, doing the right thing.

Here are a few lines of his speech.

“Corrupting an election to keep oneself in office is perhaps the most abusive and destructive violation of one’s oath of office that I can imagine…”

“Does anyone seriously believe I would consent to these consequences other than from an inescapable conviction that my oath before God demanded it of me?…”

“With my vote, I will tell my children and their children that I did my duty to the best of my ability, believing that my country expected it of me.”

“It is not easy to be a man of integrity when all about you there are those who will forsake principle for expediency.” (Gordon B. Hinckley – 1969)

Choosing to do the right and let the consequence follow – is never easy – but it is the right thing to do.

Many will crow, lampoon and criticise Mitt in the short term. Yet generations to come will stand as a testimony to his fortitude to speak truth to power.

Choose to do right – always.

Stay or Go?

“Do I stay or do I go?”

Hinge Points are pivotal moments of truth in our life – for some of us, they may be happening right now. Moments that are deeply personal and significant that enable remarkable life changes.  An instance, a point in time where strength of character should be shown, or a stand against the odds is required. Here is a story of my very own.

My personal journal entry – Tuesday 17th October 1989.  “Today, I had to make one of the most difficult decisions of my life.  I endeavoured to organise a line of thought that would actually have a positive frame of mind on the choice, the dilemma I was facing. Do I stay or do I go?”

The day before, I’d just returned from my first trip to the USA, where I had enjoyed the most fantastic 3 week holiday and road trip with wonderful friends.

The Situation

I returned to my job, Tuesday morning, to find that my employer had turned things completely on their head for me.  A great friend, colleague and mentor had been sacked…. Yes… Sacked!  In total shock and as I listened in disbelief to what had happened, my heart sank.  As the day wore on I became very, very disillusioned.  Finishing time couldn’t come quickly enough for me.  I went straight to my friends home to determine what had really happened.  As I listened to his story, it became clear that I was going to have to make an extremely difficult choice….Whose story was right? And ultimately the consequence…

Stay or Go?

I was 24 years old, still relatively young and inexperienced with the vicissitudes of life and more importantly business political life.  What should I do?  I returned home and spoke this challenging situation through with my parents. How grateful I was that evening for family who whilst growing up, had taught me strong values and principles .

Coaching

I shared the reality of the issue and we then considered every possible option that evening.  Little did I know it then, but certainly do now, that the coaching around options that my parents gave me that night, has become a stable model in my own coaching profession now, when having to consider choices in life. What was the right thing to do?  Could I work for an organisation that did these kinds of things?  It was a tough lesson for a youngster in corporate affairs.  The night wore on and my last entry of the evening was simply this…”I’ve decided to quit.”

There were many immediate consequences, including difficult conversations and very emotional situations to deal with.  However, the upshot was, I handed back the company car, faced up to the reality of unemployment, little money and endured a pretty challenging time for the next 3 months, until another (and better) employment opportunity arose.

Moral Courage

Courage requires consequence. If there is no cost, no risk or consequence, then courage is easy – and empty.  In fact, as consequence rises, so does the amount of courage needed to take a stand.  It is I believe in our very nature to admire those who stand against the odds, many great leaders come readily to mind. However, simply stated, courage is meaningless without consequence.

Where physical courage often prompts others to follow and take action, moral courage can be very isolating.  When a person stands on principle, speaks truth to power or tells peers what they are doing is wrong, others will sometimes fall away.  In my opinion, moral courage often puts people in a lonely place; and subsequently, extreme strength of character is required by anyone displaying moral courage.

Thomas S. Monson has stated that “Life’s journey is not travelled on a freeway devoid of obstacles, pitfalls and snares.  Rather it is a pathway marked by forks and turnings.  Decisions are constantly before us.  To make them wisely, courage is needed: the courage to say ‘No’ the courage to say ‘Yes.’ Decisions do determine destiny. The call for courage comes constantly to each of us.  It has ever been so, and so shall it ever be.”

Each of us will have to face up to ethical and moral challenges in life.  The clock continues to tick by, for your very own personal moment of truth to arrive…. and it will.  We may not be able to solve every corrupt action in the world, but each decision is taken one by one, by one… by you, me and others just like us around planet earth.

What decision will you choose to determine your own destiny?

Hinge Points

What kind of person are you?

Yesterday, I spoke in a meeting about hinge points. I recalled a short story by Gordon B. Hinckley. “I approached a large farm gate one day. I lifted the latch and opened the gate. The movement at the hinges was so slight as to be scarcely discernible. But the other end of the gate cut a great arc sixteen feet in radius. Looking at the movement of the hinges alone, one would never dream of the magnified action that came as a result of that tiny movement. So it is with the decisions in our lives. Some small thought, some small word, some small action can lead to tremendous consequences.”

It is the little things upon which life turns that make the big difference in our lives.

My conviction today is that when all is said and done what really matters for all of us and for this world is the kind of people we are.

Who are you? What do you stand for? What are you learning?

Consider this poem from T. S Eliot.

In the sudden mirror in the hall

I saw not my own self at all;

I saw a familiar face,

My father stood there in my place,

Reflecting in the hall lamp’s glare

My own surprised and watery stare,

In thirty years my son shall see

Not himself standing there but me.

What does this mean to me? Give this some consideration and thought.