Tag Archive for: choices

Faith v Fear – The Mull of Kintyre

Counselling many of the missionaries as they return home, reminded me of this experience from a few years ago.  I’ve shared it before, but it is time to share it again….

It was 2002. Setting off in the early hours of the morning, I knew it was going to be a very, very long day.

In fact, not one that I was particularly looking forward too. Following a client visit in Dumbarton, I arrived in Campbeltown around lunchtime. However, the journey down along the A83 that day was absolutely stunning – Scotland at its very best!. I was there on a sales visit with a supplier, who was demonstrating a new CCTV system to a large new potential client. It was only 175 miles from home, but it had taken over 4 hours to get there. After another 4 hours of demonstration, it was time to turn around and head home. By this time, it had gone 6pm. There wasn’t much of a rush hour down there, in fact I decided that I would take a leisurely drive back home. I didn’t have any real haste. The lessons learned over those next few hours were unquestionably a pivotal point in my life.

My Journey home

As I started back up the A83, the sun started to set. My thoughts turned from the demonstration of the afternoon, to much more important questions – such as “What am I doing with my life?”, “I’m not in the least bit interested in CCTV – so why am I driving for hours on end selling this stuff anyway?” “Is this just all about the money?”

As the light started to fade I pulled over to look over the sea towards Northern Ireland to view the onset of the night sky. It was a beautiful clear evening. As I was reflecting on all those questions and more, I witnessed several shooting stars as well as the Northern lights (for the first time), in all their majesty.

I gazed heavenward, it was a quite remarkable, inspiring light show.

I stood for a while fascinated by the beauty of creation. Those few moments had a real impact upon me. I started for home determined to face the future with much more faith and to embark upon a career journey that would enable me to get up every day and really love what I was doing.

Career Choices

That career journey has taken lots of twists and turns over the ensuing 21 years. There have been numerous difficult decisions. Lots and lots of personal procrastination, other seemingly more important priorities, along with mega doubts & fears within myself that I could actually do something that I loved.

The journey also included two redundancies, a challenging selection of opportunities in between, mixed with a real belief that I could eventually take the leap of faith, face the fear of the unknown and start on my own.

The differentiators?

A supportive family – who put up with me long enough and encouraged me to turn the dream into a reality. Supportive colleagues over many years, who helped me to understand the capabilities that I had been gifted with and developed over a long period of time. All of whom helped me develop my faith and take that step into the unknown. Thank you one and all.

“Smiles in the sunshine and tears in the rain
Still take me back where my memories remain
Flickering embers go higher and higher
As they carry me back to the Mull of Kintyre”

These are the words from the third verse of Paul McCartney’s – Wings #1 Hit record – The Mull of Kintyre. I have often reflected upon my journey that day and these words have always inspired me to reach for higher ideals, values and purpose in life.

So, it is with all of us – don’t settle for the mundane – in fact never settle for it!

It is important for each of us to have those meaningful conversations with ourselves and nearest and dearest about happiness and what makes each of us tick! If you are stuck in an unhappy career, perhaps its much more to do with your personal motivators.

Now is not the time to revisit Herzberg’s Motivation theory – around incentives and hygiene factors – but I wish to encourage you to look deep inside yourself and question the reason and purpose of your work – is it meaningful – is it what you really want to do? Looking inward is the critical step, to face up to your fear. Now is the time for faith – not fear!

I love this quote from a wise leader Boyd K. Packer, he stated… “Faith, to be faith, must centre around something that is not known. Faith, to be faith, must go beyond that for which there is confirming evidence. Faith, to be faith, must go into the unknown. Faith, to be faith, must walk to the edge of the light, and then a few steps into the darkness.”

One of my favourite poems is by Christopher Logue.

Come to the edge.
We might fall.
Come to the edge.
It’s too high!
COME TO THE EDGE!
And they came,
and he pushed,
and they flew.

As you consider your challenges at home, at school, or in the workplace – reflect upon those things that really matter most.

Face up to your fears, look inside and take those first few steps into the darkness – you can do it!

One cube or two?

That’s a question I’ve asked myself several times recently.

Most mornings for the last 4 weeks, I have added three teaspoons of honey to a mug of hot water.

Following my heavy cold, I’ve had an annoying cough that has lingered way too long!

One morning, in an effort to increase the efficacy of my magic healing concoction, I decided it may be a good idea to add a sugar cube.

One or two I thought?

One morning I tried one.

The next morning, I tried two.

And the result of my experiment?

Sadly, it didn’t help my cough, it only made feel a little guilty about adding more sugar to something that was already sweet.

The next morning, it was back to honey only.

We all make hundreds of decisions every day, some big and some small.

While some of these choices turn out great, chances are that not every decision will be a good one.

We’ve all made choices that we wish we hadn’t.

We all make mistakes, plenty of them in fact.

We never really lose anything when we make mistakes, maybe we do gain experience, hopefully some wisdom and perhaps some compassion for others when they make similar errors.

Bad decisions aren’t all that bad after all, especially if we learn from them.

In fact, you can benefit from all your previous bad choices right now.

And the lesson learned?

Honey is sweet enough!

Every wrong decision has a lesson to teach.

It can be painful to examine your wrong choices.

Do you know what’s even more painful though?

Making the same mistake again.

What have you learned from your unwise choices?

#choices #decisions

That’s Nuts!

We were in Ijsselstein on Saturday visiting my brother-in-law Rob, for his birthday.
After a lovely visit together, we decided to take a walk into town to do some Christmas shopping.
Setting off on our little journey, “Maybe you’ll find some fresh nuts” quipped Monic.
We both love fresh nuts!
The streets were filled with music, lots of families with little children all enjoying the Dutch tradition of Sinterklaas, with countless Piet’s around town.
We were in and out of several little shops and it wasn’t too long before we came across one selling fresh nuts and cheeses.
The Dutch have a passion for fresh nuts!
Looking at the tempting array I asked “Mag ik deze proeven?”
As always, I tried a few different varieties of mixed nuts before settling on a favourite.
Different spices and a range of mixtures gave the nuts a special flavour and zing!
“𝑽𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒕𝒚’𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚 𝒔𝒑𝒊𝒄𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒍𝒊𝒇𝒆” I thought.
Spices play a significant role.
They impart flavour to our food, as well as making it tasty and inviting!
I purchased two different mixtures.
One turned out to be our firm favourite with little dried cherries mixed in.
In a similar sense, 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐜𝐞𝐬 𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐨 𝐟𝐨𝐨𝐝, 𝐯𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐭𝐲 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞.
Maybe we are a little nutty (I’m sure many will agree!), but fresh nuts have become a popular choice for us.
Loaded with antioxidants, Brazil nuts, cashews, almonds, walnuts, pecans, hazelnuts, macadamias and any more, are all good for your diet.
You certainly can’t beat a good nut; I’ve noticed there are a few of them around! 😉
What is your favourite mixture?

“Will we take the stairs?”

Heading down to breakfast from our 6th floor hotel room in Brussels yesterday, in unison we said; “Will we take the stairs?”
It was followed by “it may be the only exercise we get today!”
And so, we opened the stairwell door and walked down happily together.
“They’re not as steep as Dutch stairwells for sure…” we quipped.
Following our breakfast, the climb back up the stairs to the 6th floor was a little tougher – that’s for sure!
Discipline is often a choice.
The harder right is 𝒂𝒍𝒘𝒂𝒚𝒔 more difficult to face than the easier wrong. (At least that’s my experience!)
That’s why we are frequently not good at it and many of us can struggle.
It requires discipline!
The choice is always our own.
Please note that it was not wrong to take the lift, but it certainly would have been easier.
However, taking the harder path is, well…hard!
It frequently requires us to be uncomfortable and to give a little extra.
There are always consequences to routinely taking the path of least resistance as opposed to choosing the harder right.
Even if right decisions might be formidable, we need to strive to make them.
I know that if we make a choice 𝒃𝒆𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒆 it happens, it will be easier when the situation presents itself.
For example – we always take the stairs, no matter the floor!
“May we ever choose the harder right, instead of the easier wrong” – Thomas S. Monson
How often do you choose the easy way, rather than the hard?

Medium…

𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐣𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐨𝐝𝐚𝐲?
Monic and I love to take walks through Leidschendam.
The length of our walk is generally determined by the amount of time we have allocated to exercise in our daily routines.
We have identified three routes.
Short – 20 minutes
Medium – 40 minutes
Long – 1 hour
Our morning conversation usually goes something like this.
“Is it short, medium or long today?”
Yesterday, we decided the “medium” walk was in order.
We then put in the necessary effort to make the journey.
As usual, we enjoyed our walk together.
Talking, observing, laughing, sharing and planning.
Regularly we are surprised how very few people we see out walking.
Oftentimes, we will complete our walks without meeting a soul.
Yesterday we especially enjoyed seeing and hearing the green parakeets. There were about 10 of them and they like to make a lot of noise.
In addition, we loved seeing many little ducklings.
Slowing down allows us to see, feel and hear different things.
It is during our walks that I notice many simple moments are filled with a sense of connection and peace.
Why is that we miss so many moments in our own life?
Is it that there are always more busy thoughts that preoccupy our minds?
It’s time to slow down.
Where will your journey lead today?

Just this once

“Can’t we do it just this once President?”

Sound familiar?

Small choices, big consequences!

The question reminded me of this piece from a long time ago by Richard L. Evans.

“There is in our language a dangerously disarming phrase by which people often persuade other people to compromise principles.

It is the phrase “𝐉𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞.”

“Just this once” has a siren-like lure.

It is the forerunner of the phrase “Just once more.”

It is the beckoning voice of a false friend that leads us from safety to a false position, first “Just this once,” and then “Just once more.”

“Just once more won’t matter.”

“Just once more, and then I’ll quit.”

And so, we sometimes move from one false step to another, often deluding ourselves into thinking that this is the last time.

In some social and personal matters, many of us live somewhat this way.

Tomorrow

We may know, for example, that we are living our lives at a pace we cannot keep up, but we hate to refuse a friend. Thus, we are led from obligation to obligation, and each time we say “yes,” we tell ourselves that we are saying it “Just this once” and that tomorrow will be better.

But tomorrow is seldom better except as we have the backbone to make it better.

In matters of eating and appetite, people often go from one indulgence to another, always saying to themselves, “Just this once, Tomorrow I begin to diet.” “Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow.”

“Just this once” becomes especially serious when people persuade other people that a principle is a matter of frequency rather than a clear-cut matter of right or wrong.

It is true that a onetime offender is looked upon with more leniency than a frequent offender. But stealing “Just this once,” lying “Just this once,” deceiving “Just this once,” or any other act of immorality urged upon anyone “Just this once” is a dangerous doctrine.

“Just this once” is a long step, but “Just once more” is an easier step, and so men often forget their own fetters from link to link.

If it isn’t right, let it alone. Don’t do “Just this once” what shouldn’t be done at all.”

Listen out for the phrase in your own life – you may be surprised how often it occurs.

Consider your actions carefully, and the consequences that may occur.

How will you respond next time?

What path are you on in life?

Recently I was asked “Am I on the right path?”
Throughout my life I have observed that small course corrections, can make a dramatic difference to the success we have in our home, family and personal lives.
I recall a message by Dieter F. Uchtdorf who said: “Suppose you were to take off from an airport at the equator, intending to circumnavigate the globe, but your course was off by just one degree. By the time you returned to the same longitude, how far off course would you be? A few miles? A hundred miles? The answer might surprise you. An error of only one degree would put you almost 500 miles (800 km) off course, or one hour of flight for a jet.”
Clearly errors of only a few degrees, minor things even, can sometimes lead to terrible tragedies, disasters and the arrival at a different destination than the one you set out to achieve in the first place. “The longer we delay corrective action, the larger the needed changes become, and the longer it takes to get back on the correct course—even to the point where a disaster might be looming.”

𝐀𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐨𝐟𝐟 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞 𝐚 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞?

What corrective actions do you need to take to get back on course?
Is it simply a matter of taking time to stop… reflect, consider and refocus on what really matters most?
What distractions are in your way?
Distractions: “a thing that prevents someone from concentrating on something else”.
Benjamin Franklin stated ” We stand at the crossroads, each minute, each hour, each day, making choices. We choose the thoughts we allow ourselves to think, the passions we allow ourselves to feel and the actions we allow ourselves to perform. Each choice is made in the context of whatever value system we’ve selected to govern our lives. In selecting that value system, we are, in a very real way, making the most important choice we will ever make”.
As I have grown fond of repeatedly saying recently – your personal values are your sure compass in life. Be true to them, live them, honour them – they are essentially who you really are.
“May we always choose the harder right, instead of the easier wrong” – Thomas S. Monson
From time to time, distractions and errors of judgement will happen.
We all need to accept that, there will occasionally be some moments of real serendipity along the way.
Be mindful to take corrective action, consider what really matters most, refocus and get back on the course that will enable you to arrive safely at your intended destination.
I am fond of a quote by Henry B Eyring, who said that “If you are on the right PATH, it will always be UPHILL” – How true that is!
Like my recent picture from Keukenhof below, there are many beautiful things to see and admire along the path that you choose to follow – if you will take the time to seek them out.
Where will your path lead you today?

What do you want to become?

Are you clear about what you want to become?
Dallin H. Oaks, shared this understanding…
“A wealthy father knew that if he were to bestow his wealth upon a child who had not yet developed the needed wisdom and stature, the inheritance would probably be wasted.
The father said to his child: “All that I have I desire to give you—not only my wealth, but also my position and standing among men. That which I have I can easily give you, but that which I am, you must obtain for yourself. You will qualify for your inheritance by learning what I have learned and by living as I have lived. I will give you the laws and principles by which I have acquired my wisdom and stature. Follow my example, mastering as I have mastered, and you will become as I am, and all that I have will be yours.””
I know we can all become the person we were born to be!
At home in our families, our communities and our workplaces.
When we’re desperate to become the people we were born to be, our vision changes.
What is your true identity?
What do you really want to do with your life, family and career?
Through my daily choices – who am I becoming?
Am I progressing in the right direction?
In the nanosecond of life – be mindful of what you choose to become.

Time

As a teenager, only moments ago, I had time aplenty. However, youth moves quickly to maturity.
Now, in my mid 50’s – I’m acutely aware of my mortality, my time here on earth is running out!
Families that were once young, are then grown, and then gone.
If we have lived through half a century, a quarter or even a fifth of a century, we know how quickly time has come and gone.
Like me, if you have lived through half a century, then you’ll know as I do that two times our lifetime isn’t very long at all!
Time is so full and yet so fleeting, and upon its use depends all the possibilities that there are.
Sometimes we can think of the past as a thing quite apart from the present. Really they are one eternal round.
As Goethe put it, “things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least.”
Jack N. Gerard observed “We live in a world of information overload, dominated by ever-increasing distractions that make it more and more difficult to sort through the commotion of this life. Unless we take the time to reflect, we may not realise the impact of this fast-paced environment on our daily lives and the choices we make.”
As I flick through TV channels, or scroll through social media, too often I find a world saturated with incessant noise, much of which is too loud, garish and crude. We need to pause and contemplate what we choose to do with the precious gift of time, before we fritter it away in frivolous “trivial tripe!” said James E Faust.
We don’t need more time. We have all the time there is. No one has more of it than each of us has. We must manage ourselves accordingly, rather than allowing conditions to manage us. Step back from the world – ask yourself how will I measure my life?
Words may change, styles may change, the man-made manner of life may change, but the stars in the heaven retain their course, and I know that our Father in Heaven and Jesus Christ, the creator of heaven and earth and all things are, remain in command.
“Time is clearly not our natural dimension. This it is that we are never really at home in time because we belong to eternity. Time, as much as any one thing, whispers that we are strangers here.” Neal A. Maxwell.
Treasure your time, value it, use it wisely. Much will come from very little effort if we slow down, observe and see.
How will you choose to use your time allotment today?

Interruptions!

“Will I answer that?” I thought.

It had been an extremely busy day.  Our schedule was packed full.  On arriving home around 3.30pm yesterday, I said to Monic that I was going for a walk to get some fresh air, stretch my legs and generally chill for half an hour.  I asked if she wanted to come, but she needed to attend to some other things.

So, off I strode, along to the canal side to enjoy a pleasant stroll and clear my thoughts.

Pausing along the way to enjoy the nature and the windmill, I pulled out my phone to take a picture.

And there it was, the phone was silently ringing, some young missionaries were trying to get a hold of me.  And then came the thought above!

What is it about a ringing phone that compels us to answer it?

I was so enjoying my little walk!

Interruptions!  How do you deal with them?

So, I chose to answer the call.

“Do you have a minute?”  asked the young missionary, “I just have one quick question. I can call you back if it is not a good time?”

Smiling, “on you go” I said.

We spoke for 10 minutes and resolved the immediate matter at hand.  We talked, shared, asked questions, problem solved and above all I listened.

How many times a day do you hear those fateful words?

Frequently, one-minute turns into 10, one question becomes several, and you can end up losing big chunks of your day.  Balancing the need to be accessible and productive is a challenge that we all face at times.

All that said, I enjoyed our conversation.  We resolved a few things together and followed up later with an email to address the main concern.

Interruptions happen, so it’s how you deal with them that matters.  Over the years I have learned to expect them!

Each of us oftentimes face many random factors in our day. They will control you unless you control them. It’s your choice.  And yesterday I chose to take the call, and I am glad I did!

My advice, if you do need to interrupt someone, give them the option of turning you down without appearing rude. For instance, instead of “I just have one quick question,” ask “Is now a good time to talk?”